Chapter Three: Leap of faith
It would till take her another couple of weeks before she would be able to find herself setting off to the little town out in the sticks. Weeks turning into months as she that seemed to go by faster and faster the more she began to prepare for her new life, finishing up the last few bits of paperwork she needed to sign and sort through before she could set out towards her new life.
Olivia helped, more so then she was willing to admit to Claire as she helped her sort out the last few bits that had been holding her back.
Cardboard boxes had become a usual sight in her apartment during those last few weeks. Although, she couldn't really complain since she didn't really own that much stuff, to begin with since all the necessities came with the apartment when she bought it.
Before she knew it her twenty-seventh birthday had snuck up on her before she had even realized that it had been approaching, getting lost somewhere in the crevices at the back of her mind as she had continued securing herself the farm.
In all honestly, she wouldn't have been all that bothered about missing the day, it is just a day after all and it's not like she has any particular attachment to it. It wouldn't have mattered if she had realized it had gone uncelebrated and forgotten.
But, Olivia hadn't forgotten. She never had and she doubts that she has the capacity to forget something she deems as important as her big sister's birthday, she'd always been that way even back when they where kids.
It was a nice yet unexpected surprise, the sentiment not lost on her when one snowy evening her sister had sat her down on the couch telling her to take a break and relax from the stresses of the world, brushing off her elder sisters retorts as she disappeared into the kitchen. The promise of a cold beer and a bad of chips putting an end to her sister's complaints as Claire let herself finally relax back into the couch.
Only for her sister to appear not two minutes later singing a very purposely off-tune melody of the Happy Birthday song, carrying am oversized cupcake on a plate bigger than either of there heads, complete with swirled blue frosting and one oversized flickering novelty candle place smack in the middle.
Claire had in her surprise had nearly screeched at her to stop in her embarrassment at her sister's overly goofy behavior as she added a little dance to her music performance. She didn't, letting herself savor the moment as a let a small smile form on her face as her sister continued to grin big and wide at her the flickering flame illuminated her face in the dim lighting of the room.
"Happee birthday sis I hope you're ready to make a wish."
"I'm not a five year old." Replied Claire as her sister continued to shuffle dance with the cake in front of her.
Olivia laughed. "Of course not dufus. You're twenty-seven which I might add is still plenty young enough for birthday wishes, so humor me and make a wish for me to become the richest and most famous woman this side of Straydence city.
Claire shook her head as her sister bent to plop the cake onto the coffee table in front of them, a smile still plastered to her face.
"I thought the birthday girl was the one who got to decide the wish?"
"Yeah, but wouldn't you love to see your poor little sis become up on the silver screen, living the good life and partying it up with all the rich celebrity's and cruising around the world on her very expensive yacht."
"Since when do you like to party?" Retorts Claire with a laugh. "And why the hell would you buy a yacht of all things, we both know you'll have your head slung over a railing within two minutes of stepping on one of those things."
"Hey, I never said I was going to enjoy it." Said Olivia. "It would just be nice to have the option, you know."
She shakes her head, clutching her chest in an overly dramatic manner as she wails in an overly fake posh person voice."
"I'm sorry sister dear." She says, slumping her self over the side of the couch in a melodramatic. "But, I'm afraid I could never let something so precious as a birthday wish be squandered so thoughtlessly, so I'm afraid to I must refuse your request at this most trying of moments."
Olivia burst into a fit of giggles at her appearance and Claire can't help but join in with her.
"Hardy har." Mocks her sister playfully. "I bet you think you're such a smart ass. But, If you don't hurry up and blow out your candles they won't be any cake or wishes left to slave for either of us."
She gestures towards the table and Claire watches as the hot wax begins to dip and pool near the base of the lit candle., forming a waxy gooey mess on some of the frosting.
"Okay, so we're both in agreeance that I am the smart one then."
She receives a playful bump on the shoulder as her sister snorts, shaking her head at her.
"Just blow out the candles, dumb ass."
Claire flashes her one last shit-eating grin as she sucks in a breath and exhales in the general direction of the candle, extinguishing it as her sister sings happy birthday at her again without all of the added tunelessness from before.
A small wisp of smoke rises from the now extinguished candle as her sister starts slicing and dividing up slices of the cake for them to consume.
"So, what did you wish for?" She asks as she hands Claire a slice of cake as she makes to sit beside her on the couch.
She smiles, grabbing one of the cold bottles of beer her sister had fetched from out of the kitchen.
"That would be telling."
"Spoilsport." Replies to her sister with a snort. "Though, I guess that is one of the rules."
The duo laughs, digging into their slices of cake with their forks as they share a quiet laugh at some old outdated tv show that Olivia had decided to switch on, filling the room with a familiar jovial satisfaction one only gets from a close friend or family, as the night continues to shit itself along leaving nothing but its memory in its wake.
-XOXOXOXO-
The bitter sting of the harbors sea air is almost too much for her to handle as she stands looking out over a rusted metal railing, her eyes cast downward as she watches wave after vicious wave of icy cold saltwater slams itself against the bottom of the concrete platform. It's murky water taking no prisoners as it trashes and kicks up discarded trash and god knows what else up towards its surface, before dragging it back down into the murky depths that lie below.
She feels a nauseous twang forming deep in the pit of her stomach as she lifts the head up to look out across the wide expanses of ocean in front of her. She casts her head up above towards the sky, unsure whether the sudden bout of nausea is being caused by last-minute nerves suddenly making themselves known, or the rancid combination of exhaust fumes and months old rotting waterlogged garbage that is currently bobbing about in the waters below.
God, I can't wait till I'm free of this place.
It's ironic really, nine years ago and she had been thinking neat the exact same thing as she waited to catch the first ferry leaving to the city, she'd felt the sudden appearance of last-minute nerves back then as well and know it seems everything's finally come full circle.
The squawking caws of a scruffy grey gull snap her back into reality as it soars over her head, cawing and crowing above the sounds of nearby traffic and grumbling passerby's as circles around before making its landing, where it rummages around in a couple of tosses fast food bags, ripping them open and spilling napkins, paper wrappers, and few half-eaten burgers and some leftover fries onto the ground as other gulls and birds flock over the to the alluring presence of food.
She turns her head away from the feeding frenzy, towards the quickly approaching figure of her sister as she rushes between parked cars and a few small groups of people waiting for the ferry as she heads towards her sister.
"Hey." Greets Claire as her sister stops to lean over the railing, panting.
"Hi." She replies simply back red in the face and out of breath. "Thought I was going to miss you for a second there, got stuck in traffic." She whips her head around to face Claire still a bit out of breath but no longer panting. "Sorry." She adds sincerely.
Claire puts up her hands in dismissal as her sister makes to apologize to her again.
"Don't worry about it." She said. "I knew you'd come."
She smiles, wide and sweet as she places her hands behind her back. "Wouldn't miss it for the world, you know that."
The two stand in silence for what feels like hours as Claire turns her upwards towards the sky above as the grey moted clouds continue to cover the sun, making the dull greys of the harbor and surrounding buildings even more drab and gloomy, as the icy sea wind continues to viscously yank and pull at the waves, spurring them on as they roaring crash and froth against each other.
She's beginning to feel like a kid again.
"It won't be long now." Says Claire in an attempt to break the dismal silence that has fallen between them.
Olivia makes a noise of agreement, somewhat between a grunt and a sigh as she shuffles her feet.
Her sister turns then, rummaging around in her satchel before pulling out something covered in colorful striped paper.
"It's not much." Mumbles Olivia nervously, "But, I saw it in a shop window down on the willows street last week and thought you'd like it."
Claire's mind turns a blank as she stares down at the rainbow striped paper wrapped up with a cheerful yellow ribbon and bow that her sister is trying to hand her.
"I...You em...You didn't need to get me anything, Olivia."
Olivia just shakes her head at her as she continues to clasp her hands behind her back as she leans back on the balls of her feet, a cheerful smile plastered on her face.
"Don't worry about it." She replies with a giggle. "Consider it a parting gift of good faith and whatever in starting your new life out in the boonies."
Claire shakes her head at her in mock disbelief as a queasy smile spreads across her face.
"Careful there Olivia." Said Claire. "You're starting to sound more and more like sister Evelyn with each passing year."
"I am most certainly not." She huffs, face twisting in distaste at the sheer thought at turning out like that haggard old woman, who always seemed to smell like boiled cabbaged and moth drops as she went about making repeating boring old grand speeches about the blessing faith in God and the such.
"I'd rather be struck down on the spot then turn out like that boring old crow."
Claire chuckles, clapping a hand over her sister's shoulder and pulling her into a sideways hug, Olivia puffing out her lip into a pout as she does so.
"I know, I know." She says, squeezing her sister a little tighter as she does so. "I was just kidding, you'll never be like that old bat. Not in a million years, you're way two energetic for one."
"Thanks, I'll remember that the next time I'm being screamed and shouted at by a class of rambunctious eight-year-olds."
The duo laughs, Claire dropping her side armed embrace as they stand side by side each other looking over to the know docked ferry, which will soon be separating them while a gloomy silence settles over them, neither knowing what else there is left to say to the other as announcements sound around them.
"Guess I'll be going soon."
"I guess you will." Replied Olivia, fidgeting with one of the straps of her bag. "Does it make me a bad person for not wanting you to go?" She asks almost absent-mindedly, before sinking back into herself.
Claire thinks for a moment unsure what to say as her sister shuffles nervously beside her.
"Maybe." Replies Claire carefully as her sister continues to shrink in onto herself like a child whose hands just been caught in the cookie jar. "Only if it makes me as equally bad and selfish for wanting to stay."
Olivia's eyes head snaps up towards her as soon as she utters the words, big gnarly knots snaring their way into her stomach as her sister begins to speak.
"That's insane. You can't be serious." Replies Olivia aghast, as the knots in her stomach twist together harshly, making her feel dizzy and nauseous as she averts her eyes to the smallish boat that's destined to take her away from this place.
"You've spent the better part of a year trying to get your hands on the place, you'd be crazy to let all that stress and work go to waste especially now."
She should be happy, she knows she should. It's her big day after all and she's finally able to leave this festering hellhole call a city behind and retake control of her life again.
So why is she getting cold feet all of a sudden?
Big brown eyes stare up at her expectantly as she tries to formulate a response.
"It's just unnerving I suppose."
She looks out and away from the docks at the tall grey building that decorate the city landscape in front of her, blocking out what little rays of the sun that poke out from behind the clouds as they loom menacingly in the distance.
In all her time living here she'd never quite grown accustomed to the large skyscrapers or the honking noise that is rush hour traffic, having spent most of her life growing up around deserted country roads that seemed to stretch for miles around, annual crop and animal festivals, and never having to worry about navigating the cramped vastness of a cocreate city.
"I spent so long building a life out here it seems like a waste to throw it all away, you know. I always thought the next time I'd be moving away from this place would be because of work something work-related. I never would have thought to dream about the old geezer mentioning me in his will, let alone leave me his entire fricking farm."
She sighs pinching the bridge of her nose in the hopes of staving off the oncoming headache she can feel coming on.
"You don't give yourself enough credit you know that right?" She places a comforting hand on her shoulder as she speaks. "Listen Claire that old man loved us, hell he practically raised us for Christ's sake. He could have just turned us in and never looked back but did he, no. Because he was a kind, generous old man with a big old heart. He would have been proud of you taking over his farm."
Claire shuffles, messing with the hem of her jeans as she shuffles nervously under her sister's scrutiny.
"I don't know." She says dumbly. "He never mentioned it once in any of the letters he sent me…. before he... you know, stopped."
Her sister shakes her head at her. "So?" She says simply. "Just because he didn't mention it to you doesn't change the fact that he did or the fact that he trusted you."
The conversation is cut as the rusted metal speakers around them crackle and pop to life as a monotone voice blears around them.
"Announcement, can all those waiting to board ferry number thirteen please make their way to the loading bay." Says the distorted voice as it tattles on about other trivial information as the two listen in.
"Seems like I need to get going."
"Seems like it is, promise you'll phone me when you're settled in."
"I swear on it."
There's a brief moment of silence between them both as they stand silently beside each other not making a move as the voice above them continues to prattle on.
Until Olivia suddenly clamps her arms around her.
"I'm gonna miss you." She sobs, pushing her head into Claire's chest arms wrapping around her tightening their hold. "It's gonna be weird not having you around."
Claire shuffles embarrassed as the people around them stop to stare at the sobbing mess of a woman clinging to her. She decides to ignore them, raising a gloved hand to gently pat her on the head as her tears soak into her crumpled shirt.
"It's gonna be okay." She soothes softly, running her hand up and down her sisters back in a comforting motion. "It's not like I'm dying, I'm just gonna be a little further away is all. I'll still be able to write to you and phone you every now and again, and you'll still be able to visit me whenever you can."
Her sister sniffles, digging herself further into her sister's frame before letting go with a sigh.
"I guess your right." She replies gloomily as she continues to sniff as she tries to wipe away the tears still clinging to her lashes.
Claire reaches into her pocket, feeling around until she produces a green and blue spotted handkerchief from within its depths and handing it over to her sister.
"You shouldn't rub at them like that it isn't good for your eyes."
Olivia mumbles a quick "Thank you." in reply as she uses the soft material to dab away the tears that had continued to form in the corners of her eyes, before making to hand it back to her.
"Keep it." Said Claire as the final announcement to board the ferry sounded above them, reminding them that she better get a move on unless she wanted to have to wait another three hours for the next one.
"I've got to go."
"I wish you look." Sniffles her sister. "Remember place nice with the other kids and don't go starting fights, you don't want a mob of angry farmers running you out o their with pitchforks and shotguns now do we."
She chuckles. "I do think I'd ever let it come to that but I promise I'll try not to upset too many people while I'm there."
She's about to head back to her car but thinks better of it and leans forward to wrap her sister in one final surprise hug, letting go she says.
"And that goes the same for you, you know. Don't go getting yourself in trouble and keep yourself safe okay, I might be gone but that doesn't mean I never want to see you again, okay."
"Right, I promise to do my best to stay in one piece now that you're going."
The to share a smile, before Claire turns to head towards her jeep, hopping into the front seat and giving another wave goodbye as she passes Olivia in her car as she heads towards the loading bay, and further towards her new life. Butterflies in her stomach still fluttering and swirling as she lets her mind wander.
This is it now. It's finally happening, I'm finally taking the first steps into my new life.