All Roads Lead Back
Summary: Set directly following Chosen, Buffy is having a hard time following the death of Spike. She pushes everybody away but she's going to need all the help she can get.
Chapter Three
Buffy stood at the top of the steps outside the Slayer HQ. She watched as the gang said their goodbyes to Willow, Kennedy & Xander. Dawn was crying uncontrollably, she felt as if she was losing her family. Buffy remained stoic, she'd lost the one person who had her back unconditionally she felt as if nothing else mattered, she was still numb. Losing the two most core members of her family seemed like nothing compared to what she was going through. She had of course been in this position before when she killed Angel to save the world, but this hit her differently.
Willow and Xander scooped her up in a huge hug. "I'm going to miss you guys" she told them
"Gunna miss you to Buff" said Xander choking back the tears.
Willow had already lost it and was sobbing, unable to form a proper sentence.
"C'mon guys" said Buffy bravely "This is your time now, you can go and see the world! Send me postcards"
The three friends stood together for a moment just taking each other in before saying their last goodbyes
"Sorry to break this up but we're going to miss our flight Willow" said Kennedy
Willow gave Buffy one last hug.
"Go! Have the best time! You've earned it" smiled Buffy
"I love you" said Willow
"Right back at ya!" Said Buffy
She watched as her friends got into their taxis and drove away. Another piece of her heart that had broken away, she felt more and more alone as the days went on. The cracks had started to show in there friendship back in Sunnydale when they banded together and threw her out of her own home, their relationship never really recovered after that. She thought now that with no real threat to the world they could get their friendship back on track but how were they supposed to repair it when they were on opposite sides of the world. Buffy climbed the stairs and got to her bedroom and slammed the door behind her. She fell into her bed and sighed heavily.
"Alone again" she whispered
She closed her eyes and fell into a deep sleep.
SUNNYDALE, CA - October 2001*
Buffy stood at the top of the staircase, she could hear voices at the foot of the stairs. They were muffled her hearing still hadn't gotten back to normal yet, it had only been a couple of hours since she clawed her way out of her coffin.
She made her way down the steps and Dawn turned back gesturing to Buffy "Look"
"Yeah? I've seen the bloody bot before. Didn't think she'd patch up so-" he stared at Buffy as she got to the bottom of the stairs behind Dawn
"She's kind of, um... She's been through a lot... with the... death. But I think she's okay" Dawn stuttered
Buffy noticed her shirt was still unbuttoned, she quickly began buttoning it
Dawn looked at Spike, who continued to stare in disbelief "Spike? Are *you* okay?"
"I'm ... what did you do?" He asked still not taking his eyes off Buffy
"Me? Nothing" Dawn told him
Buffy clutched the top of her shirt closed, looked up at Spike a little fearfully
"Her hands" Buffy lowered her hands, put them behind her back
"Um, I was gonna fix 'em. I don't know how they got like that" said Dawn
"I do. Clawed her way out of a coffin, that's how…Isn't that right?" He asked
"Yeah. That's ... what I had to do" she told him
"Done it myself" he sympathised, Spike continued staring at her as if he thought he's was dreaming. Suddenly he snapped out of it. "Um ... We'll take care of you. Come here" He put out his arm and guided Buffy into the living room
"Get some stuff, uh, mercurochrome, bandages" Spike told Dawn
"Okay" said Dawn making her way into the kitchen
Spike followed Buffy into the living room. She sat on the sofa and he sat on the coffee table facing her. He took her hands in his and looked at them. Eventually he brought himself to look up at her face and their eyes meet
"How long was I gone?" She asked him
"Hundred forty-seven days yesterday. Uh ... hundred forty-eight today. 'Cept today doesn't count, does it?" He smiled a little
Buffy didn't respond. He looked at her hands again, then back at her face. "How long was it for you... where you were?" He asked
"Longer"
PRESENT DAY
Buffy woke with a start, she dreamt of him often mostly about the better times they had together. She would never forget the look on his face when he saw she was back. It was like all of his christmases and birthdays had come at once. She mused for a moment about his face, his chiselled jaw, his razor sharp cheekbones… those piercing blue eyes.
Whenever she thought of him she felt like she had just been punched in the gut. She lay in her bed fighting back tears when a knock came at the door.
"Buffy it's me" said Dawn "Can I come in?"
"Sure" said Buffy wiping away a few stray tears and sitting up in bed
Dawn poked her head round the door "d'ya want breakfast? There's donuts" she smiled
"Sure… I'll be down in a minute" said Buffy
"Are you okay?" Asked Dawn stepping into the room and closing the door behind her
Buffy smiled weakly "Yeah i'm okay"
"Maybe you wanna tell your tear stained face that" said Dawn sitting on the bed next to her and brushing away a tear
"Oh" sniffled Buffy "Sorry"
"Don't be… you've been through a lot these past few months, with The First… all the baby slayers, Willow and Xander leaving…Spike…"
"It's been a lot" Buffy agreed
"You can talk to me y'know… about stuff… about Spike" Dawn said gently
"Not a lot to tell" Buffy shrugged
"I don't want to push you Buffy, but there is so a lot to tell. He loved you and I think deep down you loved him too and now… he's gone and you're dealing with the loss of him" Dawn said softly
"I figured he'd always be around y'know… I thought we'd have plenty of time" said Buffy
"He did what he had to, to save us all" Dawn smiled a little "To be a champion"
"Stupid vampire" Buffy shrugged "Dawn…"
"What is it?" She asked
Buffy slumped back against her pillow "These last few weeks I've felt him with me, like in some weird way it was like he was here. Then today I wake up and I don't feel him" she cried
"Oh Buffy" Dawn hugged her tightly
"He's really gone Dawn" she sobbed "He's gone and he's not coming back"
Dawn held her sister as she wept into her shoulder.
XXXXX
Wolfram & Hart Offices Los Angeles*
"Yes, we are. We're gonna change things. We came to Wolfram and Hart because it's a powerful weapon" Angel told the group as he picked up an envelope from his desk and ripped it open "We'll deal..."
The amulet he gave to Buffy before the fall of Sunnydale fell out
"…with whatever comes next" he finished
Immediately, the amulet activated. A black whirlwind erupted from it, causing papers on Angel's desk to fly through the air, the whirlwind started to glow with flecks of orange as something began to materialize inside it. A man's skeletal form showed and filled out until the wind faded and Spike appeared screaming and grunting in the middle of the office right where the amulet fell.
"Aah!" Spike yelled doubled over in pain he panted heavily
"Spike?" Wesley said softly
Angel's brow furrowed as he glared at the other vampire "Spike"
Spike looked around him, panic-stricken, at the unfamiliar faces. He looks around the room and sees Harmony, Lorne, Fred, Wesley.
"What...what..." he grunted
"What the hell are you doing here, Spike?"asked Harmony with her hands on her hips
"Harmony, please" Wesley scolded her
"This is Spike? The Spike?" asked Gunn
"Wait a minute. Who's—" Fred asked perplexed
"Easy, slim. Easy. No one's gonna hurt you" Lorne said calmly
"Speak for yourself, green jeans" said Gunn
"OK, would somebody please tell me who" asked Fred
"William the Bloody. He's a vampire. One of the worst recorded. Second only to"
"Me" Angel interrupted Wesley "But you're dead"
Harmony rolled her eyes "Well, yeah. Who here isn't?" She looked around "Besides him" he gestured to Wesley "and him" to Gunn "and her" to Fred "and...What are you again?" She asked Lorne
Spike was still staring at Angel, he slipped into game face and lunged angrily at Angel, snarling fiercely. Angel braced for impact, but Spike went right through him. Spike stopped turned around and looked down at his body. his legs inside Angel's desk. "Bugger" Spike sighed
XXXXX
The gang had established that Spike was somewhat of a ghost. His mind raced… 'a bleeding ghost?! Of course the bloody Powers That Be brought him back as a ghost'
"Where'd he come from?" asked Gunn
Wesley walked over and picked up the amulet from the floor "From this" he said studying it
"What is it?" asked Fred
Angel looked down at his feet "Something I gave to Buffy before—"
"Buffy!" said Spike with a tinge of panic in his voice "Is she—"
Angel rolled his eyes "She's okay"
"Where—where is she?" Spike asked
"Europe, last I heard from her" Angel lied, he knew she was still in Cleveland
"Wanna see her... Wanna talk to her" said Spike
"That's gonna be tough" said Angel
"You can't keep her from me" scoffed Spike
"She's not mine to keep... or yours" Angel reminded him
"Says you. You got no idea what we had" Spike told him
"You never had her" Angel told him
Spike got in Angel's face "More than you, you poncy—l"
"Oh...my...God! You and the slayer actually... I mean, I know you had that twisted obsession with her, but...yecch. That's just... yecch"Harmony cried as she walked away "yecch!"
"I must be in hell" sighed Spike
"Uh, no. L.A., but a lot of people make that mistake" smiled Lorne
XXXXX
"Rome" said Buffy "Me and Dawnie have decided to go to Rome"
Giles took off his glasses and began cleaning them before sliding them back on "I think it's a great idea… Rome is a beautiful city, rich in history both human and demon. Dawn will love her schooling there I'm sure of it"
"I hope so" smiled Buffy
"This is going to be so good for you, to get out of the States and explore the world" Giles grinned
"I kinda promised Dawn we'd do a little European tour first y'know England, France, possibly go visit my dad in Spain… we can do that right? We have funding for that?" She asked
"Of course" Giles told her. He had managed to gain access to The Council's funds after Caleb set off the explosion that caused the death of Quentin Travers and his closest Watchers. It wasn't easy but Willow had managed to falsify documents and money was no longer and issue for the Scoobies.
"I'll make the arrangements for you Buffy. I have a home in Bath should you wish to use it" he told her
"That would be great, thank you" said Buffy
"It's the least I could do" he smiled
Buffy rose from her seat in front of his desk and began to head out of the door.
"I'm glad I could do this for you Buffy, I know we haven't had the best of times recently and I know you've been dealing with a lot" he sighed
She stopped and turned to face him
"I was wrong… I should've trusted your judgement" he told her
"What?" Asked Buffy
"The potentials… Caleb… Spike" he offered her just a few examples
"Spike?"
"I'd always been weary of him, of course I had my reasons… but you were right he was a good man… in the end"
Buffy stood dumbfounded that Giles not only admitted he was wrong but said that Spike was a good man. She couldn't help up tear up "he was the best" she cried
"And you loved him" said Giles
"Very much" she admitted "I know you wouldn't have chose him for me, but like you said in the end he was a good man"
"I'm sorry for your loss Buffy"
"Thank you" she said softly and left closing the door behind her.