Chapter 30: Trust me, Touch me
Cool air kissed Kagome's skin and she shivered. The air conditioning vent was right above the off boarding door. While the plane had been hot and stuffy inside, the airport had her rethinking her clothing choices.
Trying not to let her teeth chatter, Kagome stepped off the plane and into the awaiting hallway toward the entrance of what felt like the rest of her life. She picked off a couple of fuzz balls, smoothed the front of her sundress, and took hold of her carryon suitcase. Eyes on the geometric patterns of the floor.
As she walked, she kept up her courage to do what she needed to do.
This was her life.
Her wellbeing.
Their baby's wellbeing.
The fate of their relationship.
Each step took her closer to throwing every pretense away.
Her heart felt antsy to be free of everything weighing her down.
Hiding her relationship with Sesshomaru was one thing, and she had hit her limit with it, and then the world turned upside down before she could embrace the openness.
What were they doing? All this time. She loved him.
Hiding away as if they were ashamed of what they had, it was her fault. It started with her.
No more.
Her speed picked up.
She was so close to finding even footing. To the ground turning solid beneath her feet.
School was set. Plans were in motion.
She was almost there.
Almost to him.
While the suitcase made a squeaky sound behind her as it rolled along, she solidified the decision she'd come to while sitting on a plane and thinking for hours.
Her jaw tense and her expression tight. Determined to get everything out in the open.
She held the strap of her purse. Her thumb nail scraped at the loose stitching.
Once out of the terminal, she pulled out her phone. Bzzt. Bzzt. Bzzt. Once it came on it kept vibrating with missed calls.
All from Sesshomaru. There were so many.
Anxiety came quick. She paused as it continued. Her mouth parted and her brows furrowed.
With how things were going lately, it couldn't be good.
Before she could call back a missed text popped in. "Meet me near the exit first thing."
Oh.
That was all. She let go of a heavy breath.
The adrenaline rush didn't shake off easily.
"I'll be there in a few minutes, just arrived." She texted back.
She readjusted her purse strap.
The signs ahead were a beacon. She spotted each hanging from the metal ceiling beams, careful not to knock anyone with her suitcase as she looked for the next sign.
They were all moving in different directions. Like fish swimming upstream.
Sesshomaru was waiting for her.
The realization spurred a grin. She couldn't wait to see him.
She waded through the crowds.
As the thought popped into her mind, her phone rang and vibrated again. It almost slipped out of her hand and she caught it midair. Sesshomaru's name lit up before she answered, "Hey! I'm heading toward the exit now."
"How was your flight?" There was an edge to his voice.
"It was fine. You sound like there's something wrong?"
He cleared his throat, as if that would hide the tone of his voice. "Have you noticed any reporters or photographers?"
Her brows furrowed. She looked around. People were walking with luggage, tickets and phones in their hands. Families dressed for vacations.
"No. Why?" Had he been sent the photos too?
"Photos of us were sold to different magazines and newspapers. My father and your mother are putting out the fire for his campaign right now."
So the person had sold them.
Suddenly she noticed the television in the waiting area.
Her legs wouldn't move as she stared at the screen.
"But," She recognized not only the people instantly, but the intimate setting, "That's our house?"
"You can see it? Is there a T.V.?"
"It's in the waiting area," she murmured back.
The show host sat in their living room, in her stepfather's brown leather chair, while her mother and stepfather sat on the couch. Pictures of the family hung on the wall behind them.
The sound was off, but she could see the subtitles.
"W-what are they doing?" Her breathing quickened. She couldn't make sense of it.
Sesshomaru's voice was low, "I told them that they could talk about it in his interview. If he does not handle this now, it will just spiral, and that will hurt more people than simply you and I.
My father is not the best when it comes to family, however, and it does pain me to admit, he is a proficient government employee."
Any other time she might have laughed at that. Staring at the screen, she couldn't manage a breath.
"My wife and I are supportive of their relationship, we have given them our blessing and I will add that we are anticipating wedding bells in the future."
She couldn't take her eyes off the television.
The train wreck of her life.
Only minutes before she had felt hopeful. They were on an island. A new place to make new memories.
It felt like it could almost be a new chapter once she told Sesshomaru the truth.
Reality knocked into her chest.
"I," She took a moment to breathe through the turn of her stomach, "I'll meet you at the exit."
"Kagome," He sounded so quiet, "I left. Somehow they knew you were headed here. I went to the lab to lure them away from the airport, there were a few still outside waiting for me to leave last I checked. You will need to be careful, there are probably some still there. I have a friend outside waiting to take you to my dorm and I'm texting you a description of the car and the dorm door code."
The measures sounded fairly drastic. "Is that really necessary? Why can't I come to you?"
"I'm keeping you safe. Presently, they do not know where I live, I want to keep it that way. It's a Co-Ed dorm, you will look like any other student moving in for summer classes."
"Sesshomaru, please, I need to talk to you and I don't want to be alone." Teeth dug into her bottom lip and her grip tightened over the suitcase's handle.
His tone softened, "For once, trust my decision. Follow my instructions. I will be with you as soon as I am able to without making things worse for us."
Guilt piled on and she heard herself mutter back without a second thought, "I trust you." She could barely hear her own voice over the heartbeat pounding in her ears, "If you think that this is best, I'll go to your dorm."
His sigh of relief felt like a wave crashing against her. And then the words came like a tsunami knocking her into a wall, "That's a good little sister."
"Sesshomaru!" Her eyes widened and she froze again, all her air left her at once, "Don't call me that!"
As he laughed, the vice on her lungs relaxed and she could breathe normally again.
"You're awful."
"You feel better now."
"Still, that was NOT funny," face beet red, she headed for the exit with her shoes clacking and her suitcase squeaking over the shiny tiled floor. "I never want to hear you call me that again."
He cleared his throat, "It's the last time, on my honor."
She huffed, "I'm sure you look pleased with yourself."
"Quite." Something rustled and shifted, "Another photographer has given up on my leaving the lab, only three more to go."
"You'll come when the rest leave?" She asked just as she walked out into the parking garage.
"I'll come to you, yes."
A hand waved out of a car nearby, "Hey! Let's gooo!"
Kagome laughed then, "I don't need to look at the text you sent me, Kagura's already found me! I thought she was leaving with your mom?"
"I asked her to take a later flight."
Knowing Kagura would be the one to take her was a comforting distraction after everything. "Sess," she whispered, "Thank you."
"Hn. I will see you soon."
Kagura had already parked right where the crosswalk started and was standing beside the open trunk. She looked tired without her usual makeup but there was fire in her eyes as she shouted, "You're finally here! Let's go get some food at the night market!"
Kagome grinned while shaking her head, "I thought I'm supposed to go straight to the-" she trailed off as Kagura's gaze darted to a photographer unpacking his camera equipment. Whether there for her, someone else, or simply a lucky break, no one could be sure. Actually, that's a great idea! I'm starving!" That was no lie. She had emptied her stomach on the flight there.
She rolled her suitcase over and Kagura reached out to take it. "Here, let me."
"I can get it." Kagome pushed the handle down and before she could grab the side strap to hoist it up and into the trunk, Kagura had reached around her.
"I don't mind." Kagura lifted it like it was nothing, put it in, dusted off her hands, and shut the hatchback. Her grin was one that promised adventure. "Let's get out of here and get some food!"
Boxes piled up to the right of the desk. Each one was filled with files and survey results that had been entered into a spreadsheet.
Sesshomaru finished entering another file and added it to yet another box. One handed typing had come naturally, and he was able to compile the data sets almost as quickly as before his injury. His eyes glanced from the sheet to the clock in the corner of the screen.
He stood up, rolled his shoulders, and walked out to the lobby. The large front window gave a clear view of the parking lot. Street lights glowed in the pitch night.
His jaw clenched and his fingers ran through his hair.
As he stalked back to the lab and his desk, he pulled out his cell.
Both Kagura and Kagome had blown up his phone with texts and photos of the night market. His eyes crinkled at the edges as he scrolled back through them.
He glanced at the time again, Kagura would be flying back by now.
The last text from Kagome had come through an hour before. A picture of her in his bed, and a text that read, "I'll be here waiting for you."
He told her then that he would see her soon. That wasn't looking likely if he waited for the last reporter to leave.
Surrounded by shiny new equipment and enough data he could be engrossed in studying for weeks without running out, it didn't give him the excitement it would have in the past.
Tonight it felt suffocating.
He slid his chair back beneath his desk. Files neatly stacked. He flipped the switch on his computer and left.
Not more than a minute later the reporter's vehicle pulled out behind him.
His jaw tensed.
A few miles down the road and he was no closer to losing them.
The neon lights of a 24hr grocery caught his attention. There were a few things his mother didn't pick up when she'd gone for him that morning. A few things he didn't realize he would need.
He went inside and the vulture followed behind him. His video camera switched out for a simple still camera that hung around his neck by a thick strap.
Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes as he walked toward the produce section. The mandarins were ripe and smelled fresh. The tart sweet scent tickled his nose. He dropped a bag of them in the small cart and strolled through the aisles.
His eyes lingered on a man looking at a wall of diapers, reading the labels.
Sesshomaru scratched the back of his neck, rolled his shoulders and continued walking.
By the time he made it through the 18 rows and to the checkout, he spotted the photographer with his own cart in the meat department. The man was chatting animatedly over the phone about breakfast.
Sesshomaru's amber eyes glowed as they caught the fluorescent light. A small smirk on his lips.
The night was quiet save for the distant crashing of waves on the beach. Wind chased the clouds away and left the skies clear. Stars seemed to twinkle up above. The large moon glowed down in the streets. The lamps were unnecessary but lit and yellow light mixed with silver on the sidewalks.
Sesshomaru walked up the steps to the dorms.
Once he made it to his room, he paused with his finger hovering over the numbered key lock.
Just beyond the door laid the truth.
He pulled back and ran his fingers through his hair. The bag shifted and crinkled at his elbow.
His chest ached at the thought of hearing Kagome say the words he longed to hear.
Bittersweet in a multitude of ways.
As angry as he felt at her for hiding the truth, he didn't want to get into that tonight. He knew her reasoning. Why she let him believe their baby was gone.
His lungs were tight.
It didn't change what he desired in life. What he wanted before and now; her. A life and family with Kagome.
Knowing he had her got his blood pumping again.
He longed to hold her and show her what they both meant to him. Nothing mattered more tonight.
The argument that he could feel on the horizon gathered like a storm on the other side of a mountain. Just out of view, but on its way.
He stared at the number pad for a moment before entering the pin and stepping into the dark room.
Light streamed in from the hall. Kagome held her hand over her eyes with a grimace and a groan, "Sess?"
"I'm here." His voice was deep and soothing.
The door closed with a click and something heavy fell to the floor before she felt him beside her.
"It's so late, I thought I might have to wait until morning."
"Morning was never an option for me."
He drew her into his chest. The warmth of her body pressed against him. Nuzzling her hair with his nose, he breathed in her scent. He wanted to wrap her all around him, like a blanket. His home.
He kissed her hair. Lips on silk.
Her fingers clutched his shirt and hair.
Heat blossomed and submerged. A sudden need to taste her overwhelmed him, and as the thought of denying them both made him feel quite ill, he gave in to the urge.
His cool hand met her hot skin as he pushed the strap of her tank top low on her smooth shoulder.
She shivered.
She was so tired she couldn't think past the heat and need to have him close.
His mouth moved from her lips to her cheek and neck. Her pulse, he lapped and sucked. Her breaths came out through gasped moans.
"Nng. Sess…" Clinging to the solid feel of the man before her. Her heart throbbed with longing. It physically hurt how much she loved him. Each caress came like a balm.
Covers pushed to the side and Sesshomaru slid her strap further down until he could easily access the top of her breast.
Each pliant touch seared. His heat. His scent. His essence. His very being became her sole reality.
His sensual touch consumed. He held claim to every part of her.
As she moaned he kissed up the column of her neck, back to her lips. His cool fingers slid over her thigh. He stroked her skin.
Wet satin moved to the side.
"Don't hide your face, look at me."
"I'm not-" her words were rough over breathy moans, "ah-trying to!"
His eyes adjusted to the darkness. The expressions on her face encouraged each touch and kiss. He hadn't meant to take it so far.
Her neck tilted for his mouth. The sounds that escaped her throat captivated.
Every touch pulled them both deeper.
She had the most important conversation waiting, and yet he couldn't bring himself to hear it yet.
Not before he satisfied the ignited heat.
The image of her in his bed enticed, and he yearned to ravish her until she could take no more.
The inevitable put off.
Her slick desire slid against his fingers. He painted his way inside and watched the tilt of her head and the parting of her lips. He kissed along her jaw to her ear.
His whispers were hot and heady, "I can't resist when you call my name so sweetly."
She answered with a playfully coy gasp of his name and he smirked over her cheek.
Gods he felt weak in so many ways.
He loved her. Why did it hurt so much? To know what happened?
A bitterness settled, and he forced it down. Overcompensating with skin.
"There is one matter of importance though," his kisses were gentle and light.
Each meant to ladle emotion up into her chest. Little I love yous.
Little promises.
There were tears in her eyes, whether from intensity, happiness, or guilt, he couldn't be sure.
"What-" her half lidded gaze peered back at him. He stole plucks from her lips between her words. "What is it?"
His fingers slipped out of her. His palm cupped the slight fullness of her lower abdomen. The not so secret secret. Soon it would be obvious what lay inside her.
His baby.
Their baby.
They were going to have a baby.
Her chin tilted and he leaned back enough to see into each other's eyes.
"Tell me now, what I've waited to hear." Deep and direct, his voice hit inside her.
Dug into the pangs of her conscience.
Kagome ran her fingers over his cheeks as he looked back into her gaze.
Like an overflowing well, tears leaked out of the corners of her eyes, "Sesshomaru, we are having a baby."
It didn't feel as good to hear it directly as he thought it would. "I know."
He kissed the tears on her cheeks.
"You already gave it away, with your words and actions. It was easy to tell."
Her chest felt so tight it might burst at any moment. Tears came harder, "I'm sorry I let you go on thinking…I just-" Gods her heart ached. She knew this would be hard, but did he have to be so nice about it? She was expecting him to be angry, furious even, to shout at her, at least at first.
Instead she felt cherished.
It made the guilt worse.
"Shh." He let go of her stomach to wipe her face with his fingers, "Let's talk about it in the morning, right now there is only one thing that I need to know. Is our baby healthy?"
She couldn't stop crying, but she managed to get herself together enough to tell him, "The CT scan might have hurt them, we were around 5 weeks so it could be fine, maybe, they don't know that for sure, there's not enough information to know what to expect. Our pregnancy is high risk because of that though. The first week after the scan there was a higher chance of miscarriage, and we've made it through okay so far, but I'm scared that it won't matter and we will end up losing it anyway." Fear settled in her gaze.
Something lodged in his throat. A painful block.
His expression never changed. Mask firm. "Any more spotting?"
She shook her head.
"Our baby will be okay." He wiped her face again, "I'm sorry for not realizing sooner."
"I'm sorry for not wanting you to."
Sesshomaru tucked her hair behind her ear, his face impossible to read in the dim light, "And you, are you healthy?"
She nodded.
"Good. Everything else will wait until tomorrow." He kissed her temple and stood up.
Her hand shot out and she grabbed hold of his shirt like it was a lifeline. "Please don't leave."
"I'm not going anywhere." He took her hand and once his shirt was free, he squeezed her palm, "I'm only getting more comfortable."
"Oh."
She pulled her hand back and held it to her chest. As if she were protecting her heart, and maybe she was. The uncertainty of their future remained as present as ever.
His shirt came off easier now. His sleeve navigated his black splint.
Moonlight from the window caught his toned body. The shadows amplified his muscular physique. Chiseled from a fantasy. The sight of him brought heat to her face.
His injury did nothing to detract from how attractive she found him.
He unbuttoned his jeans. His arm immobilized in a position that made taking them off a little awkward.
She scooted over in the bed as he slipped in beside her.
"You're so cold." She shivered.
"It is a little cold out tonight." He wrapped one arm around her waist, pulling her close and keeping her there. His cool fingers curled over her hip. Hot breath on the side of her neck. "You will warm me up."
She laced her fingers with his and tilted her chin, looking back for a kiss which was happily received. "I thought you were going to be angry when you found out," she whispered.
He told her honestly, "I am angry, but that is not all that I am."
Bitter.
Happy.
Conflicted.
Her muscles tensed, and he kissed the back of her shoulder, "we can discuss everything tomorrow. Right now I'm going to hold on to you while we sleep."
"Sess-"
His nose brushed her ear, and he chuckled, "I can't imagine wanting to cuddle with anyone this badly, yet here I am."
Even though she kept their baby a secret.
Even though holding her made his heart ache.
He couldn't give holding her up.
Swallowing down uncertainty, Kagome turned in his embrace until they faced one another.
His eyes were closed. With the barest of caresses, she touched his face with the tips of her fingers. His cheeks, nose, and lashes.
Her thumb slid over his satin bottom lip.
"Kagome, what are you doing?"
"What I want."
"Oh?" He opened his eyes to a haunted amber gaze, "isn't that my line?" He tried to joke but it came off stiff.
Her soft lips tilted into a small sad smile. The heat of her words skated over his skin. "I've been thinking a lot lately, I'm always doing the thing that's expected of me, or what I think will make everyone's lives easier, but not necessarily what I want to do, or what will make me happiest."
His eyes glittered back at her, "That does sound like someone I know." Painfully so.
"Mhm." She continued brushing her fingers over his skin in faint strokes.
"So, what is it you are wanting to do?"
"Right now, I just want to touch your face."
"And after?"
"I haven't gotten that far yet." Her finger eased over his broken grin, and she kissed his bottom lip, searing it with heat, "I love your mouth."
He sounded lost even to himself, "keep kissing me then."
There was an understanding with each stroke of lips and eventually tongues. A declaration.
The distance between them closed. Each touch shuddered.
The next morning the tension in the room felt like a rubber band that might snap at any moment.
Kagome held her head in her hands as she sat on the edge of the bed.
They'd talked. She told him everything in detail.
About finding out, the risks, what each doctor said, their parents. Everything in between.
And like she'd feared since the beginning, everything felt like it was falling apart.
None of the good things mattered.
Only the omission.
Her throat felt full of cotton.
Suffocating.
Tight.
Her lungs burned as if she had just run a marathon.
Guilt ate her up.
She couldn't bear to look at him.
He wouldn't look at her anyway.
"There will always be some reason to hide the truth." Sesshomaru stood over the desk. The laptop was open with the frozen screen of the ultrasound he didn't get to see in person. Looking at it made his chest ache. "You can't expect everything to be fine afterward. There were plenty of opportunities to tell me," His nails dug into the computer chair, "I told you how I felt, it would have been easy to tell me while we were at the hotel or at the cabin."
"You're right." The reply didn't help.
He closed his eyes, "How do I trust someone who is always willing to hide the truth for the supposed benefit of others?"
Kagome's breath shuddered. She let her hands fall from her face to her lap. Gods she was tired. Of the lies. Of their parent's meddling. Of the new disasters that kept popping up one after the other. Of what she had brought upon herself.
Looking at him fractured her heart. She knew talking about it wouldn't be easy.
"It wasn't just that. I had all these feelings that I hadn't fully come to terms with, everything was just happening so quickly. If I lost the baby, I didn't want you to think about that while you were recovering from surgery.
Your dad told you before I was ready to talk about it, I'm sorry it took me so long to tell you. There were so many times I thought I'll just tell him, I'll just say it.
But I didn't,
"and then I thought about how hard you've worked, and I was worried that you might rashly choose to give up your goals or have surgery somewhere else because of me."
"Kagome," He turned. His amber eyes were dark, and his voice deep, "I do not make rash decisions."
"Okay. I know that. I knew that." Kagome looked away, not sure what she could do to fix any of it. "I didn't want you to have everything on your shoulders all at once."
He ran his hand over his face. Brows pinched, "But you should?"
"It's not like I wasn't going to tell you for months. It's been two weeks. It seemed like a better idea to wait until you had the next surgery and I was finished with my finals."
"And what if you had miscarried? Would you have gone on letting me think you terminated the pregnancy?"
"I don't know what I would have done." It was honest, but not what he wanted to hear.
He didn't even know what he wanted to hear.
'I love you, it will never happen again,' wouldn't cut it, and they both knew it.
As she stared at their photo on the nightstand, she felt her eyes welling up. The silence dragged on. She pulled her bottom lip between her teeth and bit until it hurt enough to stop the tears. "Are we going to break up?"
"No." She felt his hot gaze upon her. His question burned as he asked, "Is that what you want?"
"No."
They locked eyes.
Both gazes filled with conflicting emotions.
Puffy and red from crying, she knew her face looked pathetic. She turned away.
Sesshomaru sighed, "I don't know what I would do in your situation."
She felt him drop in front of her. Down on his knees. So close she had to blink to make out his features. His fingers ran through her hair, barely touching her cheek as he did so.
He searched her face.
The entirety of her being laid bare in the seconds that stretched on.
The way he looked at her left her exposed. His tender gaze was filled with warm affection.
"I just know that I love who I am with you. I can overcome any obstacles with you beside me." The whisper made her heart throb all the more. "I don't want to lose what we have."
She held his hand over the side of her face, "I've loved who I am with you too, at least until this." She met his gaze, and told him honestly, "I feel like I've been struggling trying to protect everyone and everything. I've lost myself trying to figure out how to do that instead of doing what would make me happy. I feel like I've ruined everything we had."
His thumb wiped through the tears on her face. "We still have it. Nothing is ruined. Our commitment is to each other, our relationship. I want your honesty, and I want to trust that you will give it to me."
The world was unsteady beneath them, but while she felt herself crumbling, Sesshomaru seemed perfectly steady in the storm.
"Can you though?" She whispered.
"I don't know." There it was. The crack. The broken uncertainty. She wasn't the only one adrift. "I will try."
Her heart ached. A headache had spread through her temples. From too much crying, or thinking, or hormones. She swallowed the sob in her throat.
Sesshomaru wiped the rest of her tears from her face. Looking back at him, she hoped he could see how determined she was and how much she loved him. How badly she wanted to work through this with him. How much she wanted their little family to stay together. "This all started with hiding our relationship, and I know it was all my idea, but it kind of makes me sick just thinking about how many times we've, I've, hidden things since then."
His forehead pressed against hers. Noses touched. "There is an easy fix."
She searched his eyes, "What?"
"We can tell everyone everything." He was half joking.
Blue eyes widened and she whispered back, "Actually, there is something that I forgot about,"
Sesshomaru's lips thinned, "Another secret?"
"No," She winced and took her phone from the nightstand, "I just haven't had a chance to show you yet." She flipped through apps to her email. As she held it out for him, she continued, "I think whoever sold the photos is the same person who sent these two emails to me."
Sesshomaru's jaw tensed and his hard gaze turned a shade darker. "I see photos here that were not shown."'
Somehow talking about a stalker taking their photos was easier than talking about their relationship. "Yeah, I wonder what has kept those out. They make it pretty obvious that we are having a baby."
"Not entirely, covers of pamphlets and handouts are one of the most commonly photoshopped images. Whoever purchased these will likely be looking for more definitive proof to put with them." He sat the phone down and reached out. His touch ever so gentle as his fingers moved small strands of hair behind her ear, "Kagome," his eyes peered into hers. He waited for her to stop fidgeting and focus. "You look as if it matters."
"Doesn't it?" Her wide eyes held all her anxiety and he decided then that he couldn't have her retreating now.
Fingers laced. He pushed her hand into the mattress as he leaned forward and kissed her lips, once, twice. "I see no reason why it needs to. We can not keep sacrificing to make our relationship easier for other people."
"Mm, wait, Sess-" He stole her words and pushed her back. The cool comforter met her skin. Body heat melded.
Her hand moved to the back of his neck. Fingers splayed in his hair. "No more thinking about them."
"Ah-but," she groaned as his mouth moved over her skin. Breath smoldering. "Sess," she giggled and squirmed.
"Look at me." He kissed her nose and caught the stars glittering in her blue eyes, "We are together, loving you and conceiving a baby with you, I want the life we are creating together. I want all of it. Do not think about how our happiness might impact others. Think about us. Think about what you want. We can afford to be hedonistic when it comes to the rest of our lives." He pecked her lips and cheeks with a smirk, "You know what I want."
Her cheeks couldn't blush any darker, "Me?"
"And?"
"Our baby?"
"Precisely."
It was the truth, but the truth was never so simple. Love could never be so simple. He wanted her honesty. Her trust. He wanted all the deep parts of her.
Conflicted, he pushed the harder feelings to the back of his mind and let himself forget their issues in slow deliberate kisses.
Her breaths were tight and caught on sharp but quiet moans. His arm throbbed. Painkillers from the night before were wearing off. Somehow his chest hurt worse.
Kagome's nails scratched through his shirt and he groaned into her mouth. Her body was so responsive. Always. He could get lost in the feel of her flesh and the taste of her lips.
Something vibrated under her butt and every muscle in her body stiffened up, "wha-what is that?"
"Ignore it." He told her as he moved from her jaw to her neck. He licked a hot line over her skin and her entire body shuddered.
She reached for whatever it was. Squirming as he continued teasing her nerves. There!
"Sess, it's your phone!"
"I told you to ignore it."
"But what if it's important?"
"I do not care." His voice was rough. His fingers tight on her arm. He could feel himself trembling. Out of what though? It wasn't anger, perhaps fear. The heartbreaking possibility that every effort might be in vain. He froze for a moment, simply holding her there. His forehead on her shoulder.
The light touch of her fingert grazed his hair. "Sesshomaru?"
"You're right." Fingers moved from her arm to the mattress. He lifted his head and kissed the shell of her ear. "I'm sorry."
"Sess, it's—" One of the metal bars of his splint dug into her chest as she rubbed her nose and lips across his tense cheek. "I love you."
His phone started vibrating again and without another word, he pushed himself up and took the call.
She pulled her legs up to her chest, watching as his expression shifted to a stolid mask.
She pressed her lips together as his voice raised ever so slightly. There was an edge to his tone.
As much as she wanted to comfort him at that moment, she wasn't sure how.
Every muscle in his body went rigid at once. He closed his eyes and ended the call. He didn't speak. He didn't move. Teeth clenched and jaw tense.
"Sesshomaru, what's wrong?"
When he finally moved, his expression was one she had never seen before. Cold. Firm. His eyes were dark and unreadable. He grabbed his shoulder bag from its hook on the wall and sat it on the desk. Looking through its contents for something.
Whether he found it or not, she wasn't sure. He closed it back up with less emotion than he had opened it.
"Sesshomaru?"
Their gazes caught and he steeled himself.
He came close and his large hand ran over the top of her head, fingers catching strands of hair. "Nothing, I will take care of it. You do not need to worry."
"Sess," she pushed his hand away. "Please, don't start that again," her brows pinched, "You know that I am going to worry. If something is wrong, please tell me."
"Nothing is wrong." He let his hand fall, his gaze softer than it had been. "Something has come up and I need to go." He smiled bitterly, "Not twenty four hours have passed and already I have to leave you again, it's frustrating."
"You're busy, it's okay, I understand." She rested her cheek on her knees as she hugged her legs to her chest. The cool sheet draped. "I have things to do today anyway. Don't worry about having to go."
He was already grabbing clothes out of his closet, a towel in his hand. "I need you to focus on yourself and stress isn't good for the baby."
"I will." She stared at his back. "I'm trying." A solid weight sat on her chest. She could barely catch her breath.
"Kagome," he stopped at the door and looked at her from over his shoulder, his smile didn't quite reach his eyes, "I will be back tonight."
Before he could fully slip out the door, she threw the sheet off, "Wait!" Her arms wrapped around his middle, and her face pressed between his shoulder blades. His back muscles tense.
"Kagome, I need to go."
"I know." She breathed in deep, "I'm sorry."
As her embrace loosened, he turned.
His fingers swept over her cheek and through her hair, lips crashed against her own. Firm and demanding.
When he broke the seal, there were tears dripping silently down her face.
"I love you," she said.
The way he looked at her twisted painfully inside her chest.
"Is that what it felt like?" Her soft whisper burned in his ear.
"What, what felt like?"
"When you knew I was hiding something, but wouldn't tell you when you asked, I didn't realize it would hurt so much."
"Kagome."
Someone walked past in the hall and he let go of her to gently push her deeper into the room and pull the door back closed.
Her face flushed.
His cheeks were a slight tinge of pink.
The painful moment broke with a crack of small grins.
He pulled her close and pressed his lips against the top of her head. "No more crying."
"I know, I'm a mess, I'm sorry." She wiped her face and looked back into his intense amber gaze.
He looked more like himself.
"Stress is not beneficial for a growing fetus or its mother."
He sounded more like himself.
"You keep saying that, but it's not possible to be all zen with everything that keeps happening." Kagome rubbed her lips together as she looked back at him. Heart pounding.
He pushed her hair behind her ear and ran his fingers down her arm. "So what is worse, knowing about another stressful thing, or trusting me to take care of it and allowing me to explain it to you later?" His hand moved to her abdomen and he touched low, "Can you trust me to take care of you and our baby?"
"Sess…" She blinked back a new flood. Her hands laid on his chest. His heart pounded beneath her palms. "I do trust you. I'm going to worry either way, but of course I trust you to take care of whatever it is. I just need you to let me know if something is wrong, I'm going to be able to tell whether you admit it or not."
"This is not the same as you hiding the truth about our baby."
"Not in severity, but it's the same problem. You think not telling me will somehow be better for me, just like you didn't tell me about how badly injured your arm was. If we don't want to repeat the same problems, we have to trust each other enough to share the weight of our burdens. I can handle knowing if something isn't going well, or completely sideways for that matter. I should have told you about the baby when I found out, in the end if we are in this relationship seriously then leaning on each other for support is part of it."
He pulled her into a hug. Her hands moved over his shoulders and around his neck. His splint was bulky and in the way, she shifted to accommodate it.
His lips brushed the side of her head. His voice was quiet, as if he didn't want to admit it. "There is something wrong."
"I realized."
"I would like you to trust me to take care of it, and afterward I will divulge all the vexing details."
"I trust you. Just promise me that you won't overexert yourself."
Sesshomaru scoffed, "Do you believe that I cannot handle this without throwing off my recovery?"
She leaned back and pecked the underside of his jaw. "Whatever it is, I think you can accomplish anything you set your mind to, it's one of the reasons why I love you so much. But the stipulation is, it's not an accomplishment unless you do it without hurting yourself more."
"Is that so? So many demands from you this morning."
"Well, we both know what we want." Her answer came with another kiss. Only to be followed by yet another from him. And another.
Both passionate and playful.
"Mmm, if you keep tempting me like this, I will never accomplish any work today." As he said it, his mouth was already exploring her neck, "I do need to leave."
"We could practice -the art of the— quickie before the baby— is here!"
His chuckle against her sensitive skin made her shiver all over.
Her back met the bed. Ankle draped over his shoulders. One of the bars of his splint pushed against her calf.
The tip of his penis slid over her sensitive skin.
Anticipation bit.
He ran his nose across her skin and kissed her ankle. Hot breath caressed.
A smirk as she shivered beneath him. "You will tell me if anything is painful."
"You mean in a bad way."
His fingers ran up her stomach. His gaze flitted from her face to her skin as he touched where their baby grew inside her. "You know what I mean." He looked back up to catch her blush.
"Yes." Her smile glittered in her bright eyes. "You don't have to worry, I will tell you if something isn't quite right."
"Then I won't restrain myself." Roguish and deep, his voice teased her nerves.
His cock in her hand, she slid her thumb through beaded precum. The feel of it was exciting all on its own. "I can't wait to feel you cumming inside me again." He groaned. More precum dripped as she rubbed his tip over her soft skin.
She shifted, breaths sharp, gaze drawn to the slide of his erection over her clit. Slowly moving lower.
Once he felt her opening, he didn't hesitate.
"Ah-! Sess-!" She cried out and groaned as he eased inside and stretched her completely. She could feel the pulse in his cock like a tattoo inside her. Beating as her muscles welcomed him home.
"I'm going to make this last," his husky words made her all the more sensitive, "how could I not drag this out when you feel so damn good."
True to form, he took his time. Each thrust was sensual and deliberate. Made to keep her crying out for more.
He held her hip tight in his one hand and watched as she fell to pieces beneath him.
Tears lined her eyes.
Every stroke came with an intensity that she could barely stand.
Nails dug into the sheets.
Each breath came as a sharp moan.
Her back arched. Walls contracted around him.
He groaned her name against her calf.
Each thrust harder than the last as her climax drove him faster.
Moans caught in her throat as she peaked again. His cock jerked. Hot semen rushed to fill her as he moved to penetrate her over and over again.
Tears leaked from her eyes as he continued.
He ran his hand over her thigh and she curled her leg around his waist.
Nestled deep inside as he finished.
Basking in the afterglow, he pressed his firm lips to her calf once more before letting her slide her foot down his chiseled chest.
Hair wild, breasts mesmerizing with each gasped breath, Sesshomaru watched his lover as she came down from her high.
He laid beside her and asked, "Satisfied?"
"More than." She grinned as she turned onto her side and stole a long kiss from his sexy mouth. "I've missed that."
"Me too." His amber eyes glowed.
"Are you sure that you need to go so soon?" She kissed his face and jaw, his ear. "I can get on top of you as soon as you're ready to go again."
"Don't tempt me," he ran his fingers up the back of her neck and into her hair and kissed her until she had to tilt her chin for air. Noses brushed.
Grins teased.
"I'm so happy right now." She looked into his honeyed gaze.
"So am I." His lips stole hers once again. Heat drew her in.
Light fingers traced up her spine.
Her leg draped his and she licked his lip, "A few more minutes and you'll be inside me again."
His answer came with a groan, "Your appetite seems to have increased already."
"I can't help how badly I need to feel you inside of me." She grazed his chest with her nails, "Will you leave without taking care of my needs?"
He chuckled. Lips teased her shoulder. Her clavicle. Her chest.
"Ah-! Sess!" She squirmed as he licked her pulse. "Oh!" One hand clamped over her mouth while the other pushed him away, and she rushed to get off the bed.
"I brought mandarins."
Kagome scowled at him from over the lip of the trash can.