Letters to Chaol Westfall

by G.is.bored

Letters Aelin wrote to Chaol, but never sent. On the boat to Wendlyn, in her rooms between training with Rowan, and during their time as rebels together in Adarlan. Aelin reflects on the love she had for Chaol with bitterness on her tongue. After all, what an idiot he was for calling her a monster.

9. Letter 9

Dear Mom,

I went to the healer's fortress yesterday. I honestly felt as close to you as ever, even though we may be worlds apart. The one drop of water in me keeps me grounded. I am so excited I can finally reach it. I think I'm growing to my power. I still feel clumsy and awkward about but, I'm sure that's just because I have a hulking brute with me at all times pointing out my mistakes.

I'm so thankful for him Mom. For Rowan. Gods I would never tell him that. He'd laugh at me then make me chop MORE wood. The dynamic is changing between us though. I am more comfortable with him ordering me around. Well... As comfortable as one can get with Rowan. I think he tolerates me more too. I sure if I stopped winning (not that I'd do anything like that) and growling he'd like me more. Maybe not.

Calanmai is coming up. I'm sure Rowan has some nasty plan (cause he's a NASTY boy) for me. I guess I should probably be working to impress the bastard but right now it feels like I'm working with him. I don't feel the looming date of an end goal being fulfilled anytime soon.

I'm excited to wake up tomorrow. I haven't felt like this since I left Mom. I've been doing so good. Some days are better than others. Sometimes if I'm lost in my thoughts or alone I feel him. It feels like he's in the room with me. It feels like his horrible attempts to sneak up on me. I'd let him of course. It feels like if I looked over my shoulder he'd be standing right there. It's jarring. I don't know what this means. He just visits me sometimes. In my thoughts. With his aura. I don't know. I wish he'd stay away. I have a good thing going on and I wouldn't trade it for anything or anybody in the world. Well maybe for Erawan's death.

Aelin whipped her head to the window hearing rustling. She burnt the letter in a hot invisible flame and scrambled to shut the panes which had been thrown open from the wind. She leaned out searching the sky for a hawk, but nothing. She grumbled and pulled off her boots leaping gracefully into bed. Kitchen duty again tomorrow Mom. I need all the sleep I can get.