Chapter 19: Maybes

"I don't know what was in that stuff Rafiki gave me, but it packed a punch." ~Maalum

Simba announced to the pride at dinner that he would be leaving for his trip in the morning. It went over well – everyone was supportive and understanding of Kovu and Kiara being in charge. However, it seemed that hearing Nala would be staying and acting as a safety net went a long way toward making everyone feel really comfortable about it. The only one that seemed hesitant was Kiara, but Simba had no doubt that she would do well. She was his daughter, after all; it was in her blood.

So seeing her with a fake smile this morning wasn't surprising or disappointing; he simply nuzzled her and reminded her who she was. He turned to Kovu next and gave him a nod of trust – he was trusting him with not only his daughter but with his Pride. They truly came a long way. He paused at the thought before turning to Nala and giving her a smile. She returned the smile in kind and licked his cheek before telling him not to be gone long.

He couldn't help but glance back at Maalum before he left the den. Partially because everyone else was already up and out, but he was still asleep. Simba hadn't had a chance to tell him about his departure. He was originally supposed to tell him after dinner last night, but he got distracted by Rafiki bringing by the sleeping concoction. And now the morning was here, but Maalum was still knocked out. Whatever Rafiki gave him, it was strong. The other part of the reason he looked back was because of something Rafiki said...

"He's having trouble sleeping?"

"Oh yes. But don't worry. This special drink will help him. I promise, he'll wake up feeling brand new...and when he does, you may be surprised by who he is."

"What do you mean?"

"You'll see."

Simba shook it off. He'd just have to see what this fully refreshed Maalum looked like when he came back. He headed down the side of Pride Rock and found his two friends waiting at the bottom.

"There you are, Simba," Pumbaa said with a growing smile. "We were beginning to think you changed your mind."

"No, I just had to say my goodbyes."

"Yeah, and you left us exposed in the process," Timon muttered, looking around the area cautiously. "I could've sworn I saw one of the lionesses circling back when she saw us here."

"Still as dramatic as ever, aren't you?" Simba rolled his eyes but smiled and started walking.

"Dramatic? If me wanting to live and not get eaten is considered dramatic, then yes, I'm very dramatic." They followed him. "But on a different note, I'm still surprised the wife agreed to let you go."

"It's dangerous for me to be away from the Pride, but the days have been pretty peaceful and it's time for Kiara and Kovu to get some more experience. I wouldn't have done it if I thought something would go wrong."

"I bet Kiara is gonna do great!" Pumbaa said eagerly.

Timon gave an iffy look. "I don't know, Fluffy never seemed too interested in the whole royal business."

"She'll do fine. Nala is making sure everything runs smoothly in the background of things," Simba explained. "This wasn't meant to be a test, although I do have some expectations of Kovu. This is meant to be preparation. Kiara is a little nervous about being the Queen, so I want her to have more exposure and feel more comfortable."

"If you say so." Timon dismissed it with a wave. As they approached the outskirts of the Pride Lands, Timon smiled wide. "This is what I'm talking about. The three amigos living the free life and going where the wind takes them."

Pumbaa inhaled deeply. "Ah. The freedom smells good!" He paused in thought. "A little like mangos. I didn't realize freedom was so fruity."

"Um, Pumbaa, I'm pretty sure that's the mangos on the ground."

They laughed and conversed lightly as they continued to walk. Five minutes eventually turned into twenty. It wouldn't take longer than an hour to get there, but his friends requested one night in the jungle for old times' sake, so he hadn't planned to come back until the next morning. It was nice to relive the old days. Simba found himself zoning out as he remembered jumping in the waterfall with Timon, eating bugs with Pumbaa, and wrestling with...

He frowned and looked at his paw.

While it did hurt every now and then when he twisted it in certain ways, he had other reasons for wanting to go back to the jungle. Maalum's presence as of late put him in remembrance of his friend, Sheeva. Not that he'd forgotten her, but time and daily life at Pride Rock left little room for his mind to think on his younger days. Maalum being half tiger went the distance in reminding him of her – that and a few of his mannerisms. Not to mention, he never quite forgot their initial run-in; the way he held his own against him and managed to push him off was familiar. The more he thought of Sheeva, the more he wanted to see her again. There was no guarantee that they would run into her, but he had hope.

And maybe he could even convince her to come back with them. In the past, she was uncomfortable with being the only one of her kind in a pride of lions – maybe Maalum's presence would put her more at ease. Or maybe she would still decline, saying he shouldn't have come back again. Guilt gnawed at him as he remembered the more pressing reason she didn't want to go with him.

"...isn't that right, Simba?" Timon said with a laugh. When he didn't get a response, he looked back at him and snapped his fingers. "Simba? Hey Simba!"

"Huh?"

"How can we enjoy this trip if you're zoning out and not listening to the conversation?"

"Sorry guys."

"Sheesh. Anyway, like I was saying, there are certain types of bugs that only live in the jungle. The flying red kind was one of them, but Pumbaa says he saw one near Pride Rock. But if that was the case, why wouldn't he tell me before?"

"Because I ate it and I thought you'd be mad I ate the only one!"

Simba gave a light laugh at his friends as they continued on. He would've liked to talk to them about what had him so deep in thought, but the two knew nothing about what transpired between him and Sheeva. It was too short-lived to ever bring up. Everyone was just good friends in their eyes. And maybe that was the way everything should've stayed. But he was young, caught up in his feelings, and had no thought of returning home...

Simba huffed as the laughter in the trees above him continued. It had been going on for at least fifteen minutes and he'd grown tired of it. If he was included in the funny conversation then maybe it wouldn't have bothered him so bad, but no, it was just Sheeva and him. The leopard that came around to talk to her every now and then. Sheeva insisted that they were only acquaintances because he knew the zoo she escaped from, and that's what most of their conversations revolved around, but Simba didn't like the way the leopard looked at her. An unmistakable interest. And arrogance. Not to mention, he stayed in the trees purposely so Simba couldn't participate in their talks.

Simba paced back and forth. "Sheeva! Can you come down here already?"

After what seemed like a prolonged goodbye and receiving a smile from the leopard, Sheeva made her way down. She raised an eyebrow at him – no doubt at his irritated expression. "What's up with you?"

"I told you before. That leopard is bad news."

She rolled her eyes. "Not this again. Is that why you called me down?"

"Yes. He's bad news and he likes you."

She turned and started walking away. "It's not like that."

Simba followed her. "It is like that. You just don't see it. He excludes me on purpose so he can just talk to you. And the way he looks at you..."

"How does he look at me?" He imitated the arrogant and flirty look he'd seen the leopard give with ease which made Sheeva laugh. "He looks at me like he's constipated?"

"I'm serious. You should stop talking to him."

"Even if he did like me, what's the problem? Why does this bother you so much?"

"Because it does." When she gave him a flat look, he continued, "You're my friend. I can't care about you?"

"Just admit it. This is about you thinking I'm gonna run off with him and leave you here alone with Timon and Pumbaa."

While that situation wasn't ideal, that wasn't what bothered him so much. He shook his head. "No, it's not."

"Yes, it is."

"It's not."

"Then what is it?"

He opened his mouth but hesitated. It took a long moment but eventually, he got it out. "I like you."

Sheeva's eyes went wide with surprise, and she said nothing. There was just silence.

Simba shifted in the awkwardness of the moment. Was she surprised by what he said or the fact that he said it? She had to see this coming. They were close. They were there for each other. It was just them. They had little moments that seemed like something beyond a friendship was developing. Surely, she felt the same way...right?

He broke the silence by clearing his throat. "Sheeva, you mean a lot to me. I didn't plan on it coming up like this, but we should talk about it."

Her look changed to one of scrutinization as if she was trying to read his innermost thoughts. Then she looked away, clearly still deep in thought. Finally, she let out a breath and spoke, "I like you too."

His eyebrows shot up in a delighted surprise; he hadn't expected her to admit it like that. A smile grew on his face but stopped when he saw that she wasn't smiling. "Why don't you look happy?"

"Because that only makes it harder to say no."

Without waiting for a response, she started to walk again. Simba kept up with her. "No? Why?"

"There are a lot of reasons. You're a lion and I'm a tiger. We're only friends with each other by chance. I'm more of a loner and you need more attention. I see a lot of ways this could fall through, but not many of it ending well."

"All that stuff doesn't matter. What matters is that we care about each other."

"Simba, things are great between us right now and we should leave it at this. I don't want to do anything to jeopardize what we have now."

"We're not jeopardizing it. We're taking the natural next step."

"I have a bad feeling about it."

He stepped in her path suddenly, forcing her to stop. Then he looked in her eyes for a moment and licked her cheek. "Was that a bad feeling?"

She searched his face for what felt like an eternity before she leaned closer and…whacked him on the head.

"Ouch!" He rubbed the spot where she hit him. "What was that for?"

"That's what I'd do to anyone who kissed me without asking first." When he looked sheepish, she sighed. "I'm not saying yes...but I'm not saying no."

"So, you're saying maybe?"

"Maybe."

Sheeva was right.

How betrayed she must've felt to see him and Nala together.

He never meant to hurt her. Everything was happening so fast with Nala, the pride, and Scar – it felt like he was being rushed in a current. When things slowed down, he'd come back for her, but she wouldn't come. And it was all his fault.

He didn't know what the right solution would've been back then and if being honest, he still didn't know. Nala was his best friend as a cub and when they reconnected, things just picked up where they left off. It was like no time had passed at all. Sheeva, on the other hand, was the one he'd lived out the end of his cubhood and his teenage years with into his young adult phase. They had a deep friendship too. It was different than what he and Nala had because he was at a different stage of life – they weren't talking about visiting the elephant graveyard, they were helping each other with real-life problems and dealing with insecurities. With Nala, the foundation was already there, but with Sheeva, it was something that grew.

He wasn't happy about her choosing to stay back in the jungle, but thinking about it after, he saw that he definitely would've had to make a choice if she did come to Pride Rock. And no matter what choice he could've made, someone would've gotten hurt. He sighed again at the thought, feeling guilty for bringing that whole situation about to begin with.

But it was a different time now. He was fully grown with a daughter and son-in-law, and he'd been the King for many years. Maybe Sheeva had moved on too and had her own mate and cubs. Maybe there was no need to convince her to come at all because she found a better life.

Maybe.

Queen Duties.

Including, but not limited to, getting the hunting party ready, overseeing the lionesses in general, and handling minor problems and disputes. Her eyes must be attentive and observant, and her paws quick to action at any given moment. From an outside perspective, it looked simply like being the King's mate, but there was an entire list of responsibilities that went along with the title.

Kiara felt stifled as these things played in her mind. This role demanded a lot from her – a lot that she didn't believe she had to give. She was lighthearted, playful, and curious; most of the lionesses viewed her like a little sister they needed to protect. How was she supposed to be the one they viewed as Queen? Especially when she didn't want to be. She felt like this role would swallow up who she was and leave her as a shell. Destiny was supposed to free you, but instead, she felt tied down. To think that this would be her life...

Kiara gasped suddenly and started coughing.

Kovu, who was walking alongside of her, stopped, immediately concerned. "Are you alright?"

She pulled herself together as she looked around and remembered they were taking a simple walk to the waterhole. No duties right then. Her dad left an hour or two earlier and her mom made sure the day started as normal as the others. Kovu just wanted to take a walk with her before he had to re-check the borders. She had been so in her own head that she forgot the moment.

She shook it off. "Yeah, I'm fine. Sorry about that."

The concern didn't leave his face. "Maybe you should sit down and relax."

"I'll be alright."

"You've been zoning out all morning. I know you're nervous, but this isn't like you. What's wrong?"

"Kovu..." She hesitated as she looked into his eyes. How was she supposed to tell him that she genuinely didn't want to do this? She tried to express it before, but it ended up just coming across as if she were more nervous and disinterested rather than trapped. She didn't know how he would respond if she told him now. Surely, he'd be disappointed in her. Not to mention, hurt that she was robbing him of the opportunity to be King. After a minute, she sighed. "...maybe I will go relax for a little while."

He stared at her for a moment before nodding. "Do you want me to go get Nala?"

"No, I'll just go lay in the den."

"The den?" he repeated. "I'll walk with you and tell Maalum to leave so you can have some privacy."

"No," she said quickly, causing Kovu to raise an eyebrow. Maalum was the only one she'd been candid with about the topic. She had to pretend to be happy about being Queen with everyone except him...and she was tired of pretending. "Maalum's probably still asleep; my dad said the stuff Rafiki gave him was strong, so there's no need to bother him. Besides, my grandmothers might be there too and I don't want to kick them out."

Kovu considered her and then nodded. "Alright. But when you feel better, will you talk to me and tell me what's going on in that head of yours? I don't like seeing you like this."

She gave him the best smile she could muster up and licked his cheek before heading off. She maintained that smile as she passed by a few of the lionesses. Seeing their friendly faces and hearing their positive words felt like more chains around her. When she finally reached the den, she was so tense that her body was tired. She breathed out deeply as she made her way in and found Maalum, still asleep. She figured he would be but was hoping he'd wake up so she could talk to him. She laid down a few feet away from him.

He mumbled something after a minute. "Des...tiny...stop...run...ning."

Destiny? Stop running? What was he dreaming about? And of all the words to say with her in there, why those? She closed her own eyes and tried to relax. It was after about ten minutes that she heard movement and looked to see Maalum looking around groggily. Eventually, his gaze landed on her and he blinked multiple times.

"Kiara?"

"Yeah, it's me."

"I'm back." He put a paw on his head, looking relieved and yet conflicted. Before Kiara could ask what his dream was about, he sprung to his paws. "I need to talk to Simba."

"Why? What's wrong?"

"It's important. Where is he?"

"He left for his trip to the jungle earlier."

Maalum froze. "He what?"

"You missed his announcement at dinner yesterday. He was going to the jungle this morning with Timon and Pumbaa to get the plant he needed for his paw. He left me and Kovu in charge."

His eyes went wide, but he said nothing.

"Maalum, what's wrong?"

"Should I try to catch up with them?" He asked the question clearly to himself as he stared outside.

"They've been gone for almost an hour now. Whatever it is, it'll have to wait until he gets back."

He looked at her and finally relented, and sat back down. "Sorry. I just realized something and I wanted to tell Simba about it."

"You can tell me too."

He was silent for a moment. "After I tell Simba. He should be the first to know…if he hasn't already found out."

His words were cryptic and there was a serious look in his eye that suggested she shouldn't push him about it. She couldn't help herself though. "Can I have a hint?"

His expression softened in thoughtfulness and he met her gaze. "We're more similar than we are different."

That was her hint? That didn't tell her anything. Besides, she could've told him that from the beginning. Sure, he was half tiger, but he wasn't all that different from them. She decided not to question him anymore about it though. He would tell her in his own time.

"You said he left an hour ago? What time is it now?"

"It's the afternoon. You were out all morning."

"Geez." He sighed. "I don't know what was in that stuff Rafiki gave me, but it packed a punch."

"Whatever it was, it was necessary. Rafiki always knows the best thing to do."

"There's a fine line between genius and crazy and he toes that line a lot."

"I will admit that he can be a little much, but he has insight that we don't and he knows the solution to a lot of our problems. He helped bring me and Kovu together."

"He did?"

"Yeah." She nodded. "You know, if you ask him, maybe he'll help you with your love life too."

He let out a breath like a laugh. "If he could do that, he really would be a genius."

A laugh escaped her and ended in a smile. "Thank you."

"For what?"

"That was the first time I smiled genuinely today. I needed it."

He looked at her curiously.

"I've had to pretend to be happy about this Queen-for-a-day-thing since last night." She shook her head. "I didn't realize how exhausting fake smiling would be."

"Is it really that bad?"

"Every time I think about it, it feels like I can't breathe. There's so much pressure in knowing you're in charge and there are lives at stake – no room for mistakes or relaxing. I feel like I can't be me." She felt tears trying to push their way through, but she held them back. "And I can't tell anyone without disappointing everyone."

Silence.

She didn't know what she expected from Maalum but she didn't expect to see his face drop. It wasn't a look of sympathy but, strangely, of guilt.

"I'm sorry," he said in a low voice finally.

"It's not your fault."

He looked away briefly. "You should tell Simba how you feel."

She shook her head. "I tried that a long time ago and he said it was like saying I didn't want to be a lion – it's in my blood. He told me it again this morning. He's a great father and King, Maalum, but when his mind is made up about something, it's almost impossible to change it. This is one of those things. I'd just be making things harder for myself if I told him."

"Listen, I know it seems pointless, but you shouldn't hide this. Maybe it's a sign. Maybe your destiny looks different from how everyone thinks it should look. Maybe the plans will change."

His words were backed up with so much confidence that for a moment she actually considered it. But reality hit shortly after and she shook her head again. Maalum didn't understand the situation she was in. She was literally trapped.

"Just keep it in the back of your mind. You deserve to smile genuinely. And not just because of my confusing love life." He offered her a smile. "But until you can, let me help you out."

"How?"

"With your responsibilities. I can help with the hunting party or anything else."

She hesitated. She couldn't ask him to do that...could she? That would make it a lot easier. "Well actually, that would be helpful. If you could find and convince Vitani to join the hunting squad, that'd take something off my plate. She's one of our best and I have a limited amount of time to find her."

He nodded. "Sure."

She felt some of the pressure ease. "Thank you, Maalum. I don't know how to explain it, but you seem a little different."

"I feel a little different."

"Maybe that's a good thing."

"Maybe."

Zazu sat on a branch in the distance watching Maalum and Vitani. They were sitting and having what looked to be a casual conversation. At first, it seemed a little awkward, but very easily it transitioned to a friendly atmosphere. It was so rare to see Vitani in such a relaxed state, but Maalum seemed to have that effect on most of the members of the pride. Like with Kiara earlier – the princess looked somehow happier talking with him than she looked the majority of her morning. And Simba liked him for some reason and expressed to Zazu several times to not be afraid of him.

Only Kovu seemed suspicious of him. Which is why Zazu was there in the first place. He'd been ordered to watch Maalum for the better part of the day. Kovu insisted that he was unsure about him and wanted surveillance. Zazu didn't mind all that much; it was his job to watch in general and since Maalum was a new face, he was naturally curious himself. He'd seen many interesting things over time – Malkia getting close to a rogue lion, Vitani repeatedly going off by herself, several animal conflicts, and more, but never a liger. The wonders of Pride Rock never ceased to amaze him.

But so far, Maalum proved to be more boring than suspicious. Maybe it was because his recovery was recent, but he hadn't done much besides sleep and chat. Whatever Kovu thought Zazu would see didn't look like it would happen. Not that Zazu was complaining – he'd take boring over dangerous any day.

He yawned and looked around. Nothing else interesting was happening. Nala was spending a lot of time with her mother and mother-in-law. The lionesses were scattered about, doing their own thing. Kovu was still patrolling the borders. Zazu had been a little worried for Simba to leave Pride Rock, but so far, it was turning out okay. Now, if it could just stay like this, he'd get a good nap in as well.

He got comfortable and closed his eyes. When he reopened them, which was only a few minutes later, something caught his eye in the distance. It was moving fast. What was it?

An animal? It was running in the direction of Pride Rock from the Elephant Graveyard. As it got closer, it looked like a hyena. A white hyena. Surely his eyes were playing tricks on him. There was no way a single white hyena was barreling toward them...

His eyes bugged as he realized that he was actually seeing it.

"A hyena?! And Simba isn't here?! What to do? What to do?" He flapped around like a madman for all of ten seconds before heading off to tell Kovu.

Maybe this day wouldn't be as uneventful as he'd hoped.

I truly appreciate all the interest and kind words about this story. Honestly, when I had to look back at previous chapters, I cringed hard, lol. But you all see value in it so I choose to see value as well. Thanks again! Things are getting a little busy for me this month so the next update probably won't be until May. Until then, be well and have a great Easter.

"Now, most people would not be willing to die for an upright person, though someone might perhaps be willing to die for a person who is especially good. But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us while we were still sinners." ~Romans 5:7-8 NLT