This update is fluffy, fluffy, fluff. Thanks again to treya-barton for her wonderful editing skills! ` The only thing left is the epilogue after this! Oh, also, gonna start posting on AO3 under mjk. I will cross-post this there once it's finished.
At home, she arrived back before he did as usual and put on a kettle before pulling a piece of daifuku from the package that Kakashi had again bought for her. With furrowed brows, she absentmindedly readied some mint leaves and ginger into an infuser and grabbed a mug for her tea.
"I can't believe he did that..." she said mildly, pouring the now ready water over her herbal brew, picking up the quickly warming mug, "Actually, no, I can believe he did that...and likely on purpose, too…"
Shizune decided that she could do with a relaxing evening even though she was brimming with questions for a certain Kage. Those would have to wait until later. She found Tonton curled up in their bed and decided to leave the little pig along, sitting in her reading chair instead. While Kakashi had his smut, Shizune indulged occasionally in fantasy novels that had romance along the way. The one she was reading now had a strong female lead and multiple dimensions.
"Turns out multiple dimensions are real, though," she thought wryly as she flipped to her bookmarked page.
Shizune didn't know how much time had passed, but the sun was setting in the distance, and Kakashi was still out. Perhaps he was just having another long day at the office or spending time with colleagues. Either way, she was too engrossed in the story to notice.
Kakashi, meanwhile, had finished up work early and headed to his favourite haunt. As he stood in front of the memorial stone, everyone he mourned actually having passed away now, he ran through a few conversations in his mind. It was almost as if they were here with him. Kakashi could almost picture Rin's sweet exasperation, Obito rolling his eyes and yelling at him to get over himself already, Minato-sensei's bright smile telling him to just 'go talk to her'.
"So…" Kakashi drawls as usual "I finally told her that I loved her. In a way. Not exactly with those words, though. It'll be okay. I think."
"She might be mad about how I told her," he continued, tilting his head slightly and furrowing his brow, "Maa, it's Shizune. She'll understand, I'm sure."
"I know she loves me. Well, I'm pretty sure she loves me," he was starting to ramble now, eyes widening just a bit with realization of what was happening. "She does love me, right? Of course she does. There's a reason she puts up with me after all. Why would she though? I don't know the first thing about love..."
If anyone were to come up to the scene, all they'd see is a visibly slumped hokage whose eyes were darting back and forth between nothing. He'd never actually told anyone that he loved them before. Of course he wished he would have told his father before he passed away, told his sensei and former team members, but there'd never been anyone before that he actually felt this particular way about. Which basically meant he was going through his typical bought of angst about it. He was never very good with feelings or people, but here he was trying to deal with feelings and people. His feelings and well, one particular person.
Kakashi stood there swimming in his thoughts, mired in his confliction, for some time before heading home to face Shizune. The sun had long since set, and she was likely already getting ready for bed, ever the responsible adult. As he entered their home, most of the lights were off in the sitting room, and he saw that she'd made dinner that evening. Deciding to face whatever was coming head on, he walked back to their room where he saw the glow of Shizune's bedside lamp through the crack of the open door.
Shizune looked up as he entered, putting down the book she was reading from earlier. He knew that she'd heard him come in and was giving him the chance to come to her when he was ready. She was always so considerate of his boundaries, sometimes too considerate. He expected Shizune to get right into it now, though, knowing how she liked to get straight to the point.
"So, you love me, huh?" Shizune said immediately, narrowing her eyes and furrowing her brow at him, "Were you planning on telling me in that way?"
"I thought it would go without saying," Kakashi drawled like it was the most obvious thing in the world, half-hoping that it would have.
"That's not the type of thing someone just assumes!" she exclaimed, genuine disbelief crossing her face as she sat a little straighter, "Since when?"
"Maa, I don't know exactly," Kakashi responded nonchalantly, even though he could hazard a very good guess, "Let's say since the incident with the Kiri delegation a few months back."
She balked at his admission as Shizune watched him change out of his uniform and into some house clothes. Even in her shock, she couldn't help but admire his toned form. She was still in awe sometimes that this absolute specimen of a man was hers, shared a home with her, woke up next to her. It wasn't enough to distract her from the matter-at-hand, though.
"A few months? He'd been in love with me for a few months now, and he's just now getting around to telling me?" she thought rather forcefully.
Shizune, of course, knew exactly which day he was talking about as it had been one of her less-than-finest moments on the job. The day in question began ordinarily enough, but it had become an exceedingly stressful day for her since a number of teams had come back from missions either early or late, and this led to an unexpected pile-up of mission reports and checkups. They'd been...involved for some time that point, closing in on a year, and she was beginning to hope for more than just late-night visits and fleeting moments with the man even though she knew it was unlikely. Kakashi didn't do relationships.
Her temper had reared its head that day as multiple ninja around the village were being less than careful during their missions. Their relaxed attitude toward safety riled her up because carelessness could get people killed, and it was lucky that they'd all made it back in one piece. It didn't help that the day further progressed the way it had.
They were hosting a diplomatic delegation from Kiri to further strengthen the bonds between their villages. Even though the war was over and peace had settled, relations between Konoha and Kiri were still lukewarm. There was a long history of the two villages being on opposite sides, and even though Terumi Mei was more receptive to being allies now, elders from the villages had a harder time trusting each other. Talks were going well, but what Shizune remembers most wasn't the policy they discussed.
What she remembered most was the way the delegation had one too many flirtatious delegates in it, men and women, and the not-so-subtle hints they dropped about their beautiful, deadly Mizukage's unmarried woes. Shizune was acting in her capacity as assistant, and she was trying so hard to maintain her professional demeanor among the conversation that was unfolding before her. Images of long, silken, red hair splaying over his scarred skin; elegant, capable hands tangled in his silvery locks; feminine curves pressed against his form flashed through her mind before she could stop them. Shizune schooled her face into impassivity and consciously steadied her breath, thankful that there weren't any shinobi in the room at the moment. They would have sure picked up on her discomfort by now.
Kakashi, for his part, remembered how her controlled facade wavered just slightly, and he could see her eyes dart quickly towards whichever lord or lady had spoken last before quickly regaining composure and tamping down on her runaway emotions. He remembered when one of the ladies leaned in a bit too closely, grazing her fingers over his arm, Shizune almost snapped. Almost. Instead, she tersely excused herself and raged silently at paperwork.
"It's not his fault, Shizu. Just calm down," she raged inwardly, "He has to be diplomatic, of course. He can't go around starting inter-village conflicts over some flirty diplomats. And you don't have any right to be jealous anyway. He's not your partner. He's free to do whatever he wants."
Kakashi remembered how his nonchalant comment about considering their offers caused her to whip around a bit too quickly, accidentally bump into her desk, and topple a few things off of it. She stuttered apologies, a pale blush dusted her cheeks as she told them to go on to the next meeting without her. The delight he took in cracking her usually professional mask at work stayed with him through the day. He always loved flustering her.
The delegation kept him out late that night, and he did his best to entertain them without Shizune's help. He was surprised to find that he still beat her home, and even though he knew he shouldn't be worried, he couldn't help but wonder where Shizu might be. When she did finally get home, it was clear she'd had a few drinks and was still drowning in her misery from earlier. She was still trying to be tactful and understanding even through her haze, even though he could tell she was upset. It was so painfully sincere and self-sacrificing of her, and he didn't deserve her in the least.
She remembers how he reassured her that she was beautiful and perfect and all he wanted without her needing to ask. It was in his gaze as his painstakingly slow once over of her body set her soul on fire even though he'd seen her a hundred times before. It was in the way he ran his calloused fingers down the scars he'd memorized on her skin. She couldn't get enough of the way he smelled, like musk and sweat and his signature sandalwood, the way his chest felt under her hands and the way he tensed under her lips as she traced his perfectly sculpted collarbone with her tongue.
The memory was enough to set her ablaze again, but she couldn't let herself get carried away just yet. She couldn't understand why he fell in love with her on that day. Why would he possibly fall in love with her on one of her worst days? She was showing the ugliest emotions and letting jealousy carry her away.
"But why that day?" she managed to ask, looking at him with wide eyes full of confusion.
"Because you were vulnerable and unsure, but you still trusted me enough to let it go," he replied with sincerity, "Because you had no reason to trust me, and you still did."
"Because you still trust me, even though I've screwed up so much," he thought as he looked at her with the utmost care, "because I could never forgive myself if I let anyone hurt you, even some silly diplomats."
She processed that for a moment, silence filling the room while she thought, before nodding and looking back at him.
"Well, okay then," she replied, putting her book away and getting ready for bed.
"So," Kakashi started, "Do you have anything to say to me?"
Shizune glanced over her shoulder at him and an unusual smirk graced her lips.
"Well, I thought it would go without saying."