The Loud House is getting a live-action show. I fucking knew this shit would happen. Welp, can't be worse than the new seasons.

Fear and Loathing in Imp City

Lincoln fell to the floor from the portal in the ceiling carrying Moxxie in one arm and a keg in the other, he was inexplicably in human form with a floral print shirt, cargo shorts, sunglasses, and a bit of a red bloated face, "HOT DAMN! That was fucking amazing!" he cried out as he staggered to his feet in the I.M.P. office.

"It sure was sir! Hehehehe!" Moxxie giggled.

Blitzo, Millie, and Loona fell out of the portal shortly after them, Loona also in human form and looking gloomier than usual.

"I was slaughtering them sorority girls left and right! I don't think some of them were even on the kill list!" Lincoln laughed a bit as he sat down on a couch in the waiting room with Moxxie, setting the keg on the floor.

Blitzo grinned and shrugged, "Hey, what's a few extra cracked skulls? It's not like you knew any of 'em, right?"

"Yeah!" Lincoln's smile faded, "Oh shit, I hope Lori didn't know any of them."

"Is that- was that one of your sisters?" Moxxie's eyes started to well up a bit, "Oh Lincoln, I'm so sorry I killed you and took you away from them!" the imp cried as he buried his face into Lincoln's shoulder.

Blitzo sighed, "Oh great, not this shit again."

Lincoln patted the imp on the head, "Eh, chill Mox, I'm uh, I've mostly come to terms with it. It wasn't your fault...er, well it was but I uh think you did enough to make up for it."

Moxxie looked up, "Really boss? Ah, you're such a good kid..." he started to sob a bit again.

Lincoln slapped Moxxie's face a bit, "Hey, c'mon, you're getting my shirt all soggy!"

Millie grabbed her husband and cradled him a bit in her arms, "Aw, there there sugar. Everything's gonna be alright."

Blitzo made a gagging noise, "I can't take this cutesy shit. I'm gonna go collect our bread. Hey Loona, make sure our boss doesn't drink that whole fucking keg he took from those fuckers on Earth, I wanna see if any desperate losers here will buy any of that."

"Whatever." Loona remarked as she sat down at her desk.

With that Blitzo left, Moxxie blew a raspberry after him, "Who-who does he think he is? That's our BOSS'S keg!"

Millie rubbed Moxxie's chin a bit, "Shh, there there sweetie, how about we head home and put you to bed?"

Moxxie turned and surprised Millie with a drunken kiss on the lips, "Can you do that thing I like?"

Millie smiled at him, "Oh my, aren't you a bit too loopy for that?"

Moxxie grabbed her cheek and chest a bit, "Nah! And it's SO HOT when you do THAT to me. Gets me good and hard!"

"You old people are fucking gross." Loona nagged.

Moxxie glared at her, "You're just mad because your SAD ASS can't get any of THIS DI-"

Mille covered Moxxie's mouth before he could finish digging his grave, "Ah-ha, ha, we'll get out of your way Loona. Have a good night dear!"

Millie carried Moxxie out of the office, leaving Loona alone with Lincoln. The hellhound was still in her human form, for whatever reason, and looked up from her hellphone to see I.M.P.'s boss laying back sleeping.

"...this sucks ass."

"...hey, hey! Get your skinny ass up!"

Lincoln woke up to find himself being yelled at by Loona, still in her human form. He stirred a bit, "My head feels weird..."

Loona splashed some water in his face, causing him to recoil a bit.

"Ah! The fuck was that for, you fucking bitch?" Lincoln asked.

"For having me watch your dumb drunk ass for the last few hours." Loona answered.

Lincoln stood up, his anger causing him to discard his human disguise for his more bigger and rabbit-y form, "The Hell is your problem? Ever since I met you, you've been nothing but rude, disrespectful, and just an overall jerk to everyone! Including me!"

Loona snarled at him a bit, "Yeah, what are YOU gonna do about it?"

Lincoln raised his hand a bit to strike, but stopped, and instead started rubbing Loona's upper neck a little, under her chin.

"Ooh, ah...yeah..."

Lincoln moved to rub her head and back a bit.

"Ah...yeah, that's the stuff..."

Lincoln stopped, "Wait, are you- are you getting HOT from this?"

"Why the fuck did you stop? I thought you were crazy for-"

Lincoln grabbed Loona by the neck, "Don't DO this to me. I already got toyed with by those fucking succubus creeps!"

Loona choked a bit, "Yeah? What did THEY do?"

Earlier that day, Lincoln had barged into Verosika Mayday's office, "Which one of you sex freaks took my employee?"

Verosika just sat with a smug grin while her employees tormented Moxxie, "Oh, that little excuse of a man came to us. Sadly can't help that."

Lincoln started to stomp over towards the succubus superstar, "Listen here you walking hot mess, you're gonna-"

"Whoa there bud." Lincoln was accosted by Verosika's hellhound bodyguard, Vortex, "I can't allow you to make any threats towards my boss."

Lincoln looked at this obstacle up and down, "Yeah? What are you gonna do? Hit me?"

Vortex brought up his hellphone, "No, but I will send out a tweet saying that some big rabbit sinner is threatening the wellbeing of one of Hell's most beloved sex objects."

Lincoln paused for a moment, he pointed at one of the other succubus, "Can...can I threaten that one?"

Vortex gave a weird smile, "Sure."

Lincoln grabbed one of the succubus and held her up towards Verosika, "Okay, listen, you annoying sex toys are gonna give me back my employee or I'LL TEAR THIS ONE LIMB FROM LIMB!"

The succubus he held laughed, "Oh my! WE GOT A KINKY ONE HERE!"

Lincoln flinched, "Wait, what?"

The succubus quickly had her hands in Lincoln's fur, "Oooh, are you gonna tear me apart Mr Bun-Bun? How violently sadistic! I bet the girls LOVED YOU when you were alive!"

Lincoln dropped the succubus, "What the fuck? No! I don't-"

The succubus rubbed up against one of Lincoln's legs, "Oh! You DIDN'T get any action when you were alive? A big BAD bunny like you?"

Lincoln started to get surrounded, "...ya know, you can KEEP him, he's yours now, I-"

"It's been a while since we had a VIRGIN SINNER!"

"...and that's how I ended up getting violated by a bunch of freaks." Lincoln finished.

Loona was sitting on top of her desk, "Huh, no wonder you were all up for that stupid bet Blitzo made."

Lincoln gave her a tired look, "Can you tell me why you're still in human disguise? That whole thing ended what, hours ago?"

Loona shrugged, "I dunno, I kind of figured it'd get your attention more."

"What, why the hell do you want my attention?"

Loona groaned, "For fucks sake, I'm horny, alright? I've been trying to hook up with Verosika's bodyguard all damn day just to find out he's in a relationship! Why the fuck would I even still be here aside from wanting some dick? You aren't picky, owlfucker."

Lincoln paused a moment, "Okay, so because I had sex with Octavia, you think I want to fuck you?"

"Why not? Just look at me, lots of freaky humans drool all over me."

Lincoln approached her, "That does it..." with a flick of the wrist, Lincoln produced a collar and leash out of nothing.

Loona winced a bit, "Uh, where did-"

Suddenly the collar was around her neck, and the leash attached and in Lincoln's grasp, "One thing those freaky succubi did was teach me a trick that lust Sinners can do." Lincoln tugged on the leash and Loona fell off the desk onto all fours.

"Woah, holy shit! What the fuck-"

Lincoln tugged on the leash again, stopping Loona from speaking, "I think you need a reminder that I'm HIGHER than you. Up 'til now I've TOLERATED your shitty attitude much like I'd do with any of my sisters. Now, you've pushed me, you're a BAD DOG."

Loona didn't say anything to that, she did start to breathe a bit heavier.

Lincoln tugged her again and led her to the door, "C'mon now, we're gonna go for a walk. You may want to keep that disguise so nobody recognizes you."

Lincoln led Loona around the streets of Imp City, both of them getting a good number of wolf whistles, kinkshaming, and threats of violence. Lincoln kept a stern face, only reacting when a few random passerby imps tried attacking him which he answered with a few shots from a handgun Moxxie gave him. Loona was too flustered to react, and just kept going along with being led. Not that she could do much else anyway, the leash and collar having some sort of control over her.

Blitzo had finished up collecting money for the multiple killings and was heading for the office when he saw the two of them. He looked at the two for a moment, and his first instinct would be to charge at them guns blazing demanding to know what the fuck was going on, but he caught himself, "If Lincoln wanted to, he could just tear my head off and shove it down my neck. Plus the scene wouldn't be good for business..." Blitzo instead stashed the money away in his pants and made for a nearby fire escape, making his way up to the rooftops.

Loona could smell Blitzo tailing them and gagged a bit. She felt a tug on her collar.

"Don't complain, we got a few blocks left. Or do you need to relieve yourself?" Lincoln asked in a condescending tone.

"It's my da-urk!" Loona tried to tell him.

"Whatever it is, it can wait."

Soon enough, Lincoln opened up the door to the I.M.P. office with Loona in tow. Loona looked up at her boss, "Okay, you paraded me around the city. Can you get this thing off now?" she asked.

"Not yet." Lincoln answered, he led her over to the couch and sat down.

A few dirty thoughts flew through Loona's mind, "Oh shit, are you gonna-"

Lincoln yanked on her leash, "Shut your mouth, lay your head in my lap."

Loona did so, her face blushing all the while. She tried to say something, but she bit her lip to stop herself.

Lincoln reached down and gently pat her on the head, "Now, was that so hard? Doesn't it feel better to be a good dog?"

Loona was panting a little, nodding her head.

"Are you gonna be a good dog for me?"

Loona nodded her head a bit faster, her whole body seemed to vibrate a bit.

"Good. You can go home now." Lincoln snapped his fingers, the collar and leash vanished.

"Eh?" Loona sounded out, freezing in place.

"You can go home Loona. Good work today." he repeated.

"Aren't we gonna-"

Lincoln held up his hand at her, "We're not. I'm not interested. Plus Blitzo is watching us."

Blitzo pulled himself in through the window, "Fucking hell, you knew I was here the whole time?"

Lincoln nodded, "Yeah, you're not really that subtle Blitzo."

Loona's ears fell a bit, "Oh yeah...yeah, I forgot you were following us when-"

Lincoln shoved the two out the office door, "Well, it was fun, but now I just want to lay down. Get out of here."

Blitzo turned his head towarss Lincoln, "Hold up, what were you doing to-"

Lincoln grabbed Blitzo by the throat, "Do you want me to rip your head off and shove it down your neck?" he asked.

Blitzo shook his head.

Lincoln let go and slammed the office door behind him. The lights in the office going out.

Blitzo coughed a bit, and gagged, "Bleh...seriously though Loona, you and Lincoln? If that ever happens, I'm gonna blow my fucking brains out."

Loona finally turned back to her hound form and gave him a sneer, "You say that over every little thing..."