I know it's been a while since I updated. I'm sorry about that. I'm going to try and be more consistent. I honestly think I only have a few more chapters before I wrap this story up. Also, I'm open to suggestions if there's anything specific that anyone wants to see happen.
Laurie Mitchell couldn't believe that she was in a police station talking about the death of her only grandchild. She really couldn't believe that her son was the one who murdered her sweet, sweet granddaughter. The little girl was all smiles and hugs any time she visited. As a mother, Laurie couldn't believe that she hadn't seen what was going on. Now she was sitting in the police station while two detectives were questioning her.
"Mrs. Mitchell, thank you for coming in." Amanda said, sitting in the chair on the other side of the interrogation table. "We really appreciate it."
"Call me, Laurie. Please."
"Okay, Laurie. First of all, Detective Tutola and I would really like to extend our sincere condolences to you." The blonde said while gesturing to her partner who was standing by the door.
"You guys were the cops who found her and took her to the hospital, right?"
"Yes, that was us." Amanda replied, getting a little emotional thinking about that day.
"Thank you for that." Laurie mumbled, tearfully.
Amanda nodded, not quite knowing how to reply. "I was wondering if we could ask you a few questions about your son. Have you talked to him in the last week?"
"No, I haven't. He uh…He became really closed off when he met Quinn, Alice's mother. They started dating and moved to New York together after not being together for that long. They moved really quickly in their relationship, in my personal opinion. I never even really got to know Quinn that much, to be completely honest."
"If you knew where he was, would you tell us?" Fin asked.
"Of course. He's my child and I love him. I will always love him. My first instinct will always be to protect him but sometimes you need to face the consequences of your actions. What he did…the way he hurt Alice…he needs to deal with that." Laurie vowed as a single tear fell down her face.
"Did you ever suspect that anything was going on? That he was abusing Alice?"
"No. Not at all. I had only visited a few times since she was born. I told myself that I was going to make it a priority to come here but I was never able to get a lot of time off from work."
"That's understandable." Amanda commented. She then thought about when Olivia told her to ask about any abuse that Liam, Alice's father, may have endured. "I hate to ask this but was your son subjected to any abuse when he was growing up?"
Laurie let out a heavy sigh. She knew this question was coming. "Not that I know of. Listen, I did the very best I could. My husband died when Liam was very little. I had to work a lot to provide for him. I didn't have any family to help me. I had a number of babysitters over the years but I trusted all of them. I have no idea how Liam grew up to become what he is. I don't know where I went wrong." Laurie finished as she started sobbing.
Amanda felt for the woman sitting across from her. Turning around to look at Fin, he gave her the most subtle nod which she returned. They both knew that Alice's grandmother was being sincere. She wasn't covering for her son.
"Laurie, you didn't do anything wrong. We've seen a lot of this in our line of work. Sometimes you do all you can and your kids will still turn out the way they turn out. This isn't on you. Not at all." Amanda reached over to grab Laurie's hand, trying to provide some type of comfort for the older woman.
"Thank you for being so kind, Detective but this guilt and this massive loss that I feel, not only my granddaughter but also my son in some ways, is something that I will have to deal with for the rest of my life. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to head to the hospital." The older woman said as she grabbed her purse and started to stand up from her chair.
"The hospital? Are you okay?" Fin asked, moving a little closer to the table.
"Oh, I'm fine. I'm just trying to find someone." Laurie reached into her bag and pulled out an iPad that had a pink and purple case on. She turned it on and tapped the screen a couple of times. "I found this picture of Alice and a doctor on here when Alice was in the hospital, it appears." Laurie turned the iPad towards the other two people in the room and she took notice when Amanda's breath hitched once she saw the picture.
"Do you know her?"
"I do. She is a doctor. She won't be at the hospital but I can get her here if you're willing to wait." Amanda stammered out, still shocked at seeing the photo. Her wife looked so happy in the photo, as did Alice. They were both looking at the camera with big smiles.
"Oh, that would be amazing. Thank you so much." Laurie said, the gratitude shining through her voice.
"You're welcome to wait in our lounge, ma'am. I wouldn't want you to have to stay in an interrogation room while you're waiting." Fin said as he opened the door and ushered the woman out. Fin wanted to make sure Amanda at least had a little privacy when making the call to her wife that the grandmother of a patient that she recently lost wanted to see her.
"Thank you. You're such a nice young man." Laurie said, slipping out of the door past the detective.
Amanda heard Fin let out a small chuckle before the door closed behind him. Pulling her phone out of her pocket, Amanda was nervous about calling her wife. Especially after the talk they had last night.
"We're not okay? What uh…what does that mean?" Amanda stammered while asking her question. To be completely honest, she was very nervous about the answer.
"Exactly that. We're not okay. Our marriage isn't okay, Amanda. I know that's not what you want to hear but it's the truth." Olivia answered her wife truthfully.
"How do we fix this?"
"I have no idea. I really wish I did." Olivia whispered. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Of course." Amanda replied.
"I've been doing some thinking over the last few days. I started thinking about it right after you met Alice, actually. Do you not believe that I was actually abused by Serena? I mean, do you think I'm overreacting and it wasn't as bad as I made it seem or what? Because-"
"Of course, I believe you. I believed you the first time you told me, I've never doubted that." Amanda interrupted, upset that her wife would even think that.
"See, that's the thing. I don't think you do. I know how irrational this sounds coming from me but you said that you ignored the signs when it came to Alice because I was involved. That's the only rational answer. Your problem is with me." Olivia finished.
Amanda couldn't believe the words that were coming out of her wife's mouth. All she wanted to do was fight back. Convince her wife that she was wrong, that she never thought she was overreacting. Olivia still had scars on her body from things her mother had done to her.
"Liv, I'm so sorry if that's what this whole thing has made you think. I believe you. I always have and I always will." Amanda said, reaching for her wife who had tears running down her face. She did this. She had made her beautiful and strong wife cry. Olivia rarely cried.
"I'm okay." Olivia whispered, scooting over on the couch away from her wife. She knew that if she let Amanda hug her that she would just start crying harder. "I think we've talked enough tonight. I'm just going to go to bed. I'm going to sleep in one of the guest rooms. I think a little space would do us some good." Olivia said, giving her wife a small smile.
Amanda was crushed. She never thought they would be that couple. They rarely slept without each other. The only time one of them slept in another room is when someone was sick and they always ended up in the same bed anyways.
"If that's what you want. Okay." Amanda said, standing up as well. Knowing she needed to do this before Olivia could protest, she threw her arms around her wife and held on. Olivia wrapped her arms around her wife and rested her chin on Amanda's shoulder. Holding back her sobs, Olivia stepped back from the hug.
"I love you." Amanda said firmly.
"I love you, too."
Amanda sighed heavily as she recalled the conversation. The detective knew she needed to just bite the bullet and call her wife. She unlocked her phone and tapped on her contacts app. Scrolling, she found Olivia followed by a single red heart. The doctor always hated when someone had their significant other in their phone saved as some 'sickening pet name' as Olivia called it. Amanda smiled when she thought how upset Liv had gotten when she saw that Amanda had her saved as 'Love of My Life' in her phone when they were engaged.
"Babe, can you call my phone? I can't find it anywhere." Amanda asked her fiancé while looking for her phone. She'd checked almost everywhere in their house that they shared together. The last place she was looking was in their bedroom.
"I don't know we didn't think of that earlier. Oh, wait. I did and you told me not to call it. That you would find it yourself." Olivia replied smartly.
"Oh, shut up." Amanda said playfully as she smirked at her fiancé.
Olivia chuckled while pulling her phone out of her pocket. A few moments later they were waiting on Amanda's phone to start ringing. The doctor looked around when she heard it ringing. She ended up finding it. The phone had someone slid up under Amanda's nightstand that was next to their bed. Amanda noticed the look of disgust on Olivia's face while she was looking at the newly found phone.
"What's with the face?"
"I'm saved in your phone as 'love of my life.' Really?" Olivia asked.
"Well, yeah. You're kind of the love of my life, Liv." The detective stated while giving the older woman a look that said 'duh.'
"First of all, kind of? Second of all, I hate when couples do that. It's absolutely sickening when they have their significant other in their phone saved under some lovey dovey bullshit name. I'm changing it." Olivia muttered her last sentence while tapping on Amanda's screen a few times, trying to get to her contact information.
Amanda went around their bed, trying to get to Olivia before she had the time to change it.
"No! Come on." The blonde laughed as she tried to take her phone from Olivia's hand. "Ow!" She exclaimed while rubbing the hand that Olivia smacked after she tried reaching for the phone again. "You hit hard."
"You're a wuss." Olivia retorted while she was still typing. "All done. Here you go."
Amanda took her phone back and looked at the screen. "Really? You changed it to just Olivia?"
"Hey, I put a heart there, too. By the way, if you change it to any other type of pet name or anything related to that, I will leave you." Olivia declared playfully before she kissed the blonde.
Hitting the call button, Amanda waited as the phone rang wondering if her wife was going to answer. Amanda was ready to leave a voicemail when Olivia finally answered.
"Hello?"
"Hey, are you busy?"
"No. I'm reading some new medical journals. Very exciting." Olivia said in a dry tone.
"Ah. Well, I'm sorry to ruin your fun but would you be able to come down to the station?"
"Why? What's wrong? Are you okay? Did you get hurt?"
"That's a lot of questions all at once, babe. I'm fine. Alice's grandmother is here and she was coming to the hospital to talk to you. She wants to meet you."
"Me? Why?" Olivia inquired.
"She found a photo of you and Alice on Alice's iPad that you guys took in the hospital." Amanda replied in a careful tone.
"Let me get dressed. I'll be there in twenty minutes." Olivia hung up the phone before Amanda could say anything else.
Almost a half hour later, Olivia was exiting the elevator at the station and looking for her wife. Instead of seeing her wife first, she saw another friendly face.
"Dr. Olivia Benson." Fin said as he walked up to the woman still standing near the elevator.
"Detective Odafin Tutuola." Olivia replied with a small chuckle.
"How are you? Haven't seen you in a while." The detective asked while going in for a hug.
"I'm hanging in there." Olivia replied while putting her arms around the man. While they didn't do it very often, it wasn't the first time that they hugged. There was something about the way that he held on a little longer than normal that she knew that Amanda had most likely told him what was going on. "How are you?"
"Same old, same old. Thanks for asking, girl."
Fin was a man of very few words. Olivia could see that he knew what was going on. He knew just how she was connected to this whole thing and she was thankful that he didn't say anything about it.
"There you are." Amanda said with a small smile as she walked over to her wife and partner.
"Hello there." The doctor replied. There was a small awkward silence given that the wives weren't quite sure where they stood with the other.
"Alice's grandmother is in our lounge. It's right over here." Amanda uttered, immediately regretting her words. Olivia had been here a lot over the years and she knew exactly where the lounge was.
The older woman let out a small laugh but didn't say anything as she let her wife lead her to the lounge. A few moments later they were standing in front of the door to the lounge.
"You sure you're okay to do this?" The detective asked.
"I'm good, Amanda."
"Okay."
Opening the door, Amanda let Olivia walk in first. Their eyes were immediately drawn to the woman who was sitting on the couch.
"Laurie, this is Dr. Olivia Benson. She was the emergency room physician who initially took care of Alice when your son brought her in."
"Oh, Dr. Benson. Thank you so much for coming." Laurie said standing up from the couch. She took a few steps towards the two women so she could shake Olivia's hand.
"Call me Olivia, please. You don't have to thank me. It was really no problem at all, Mrs. Mitchell." Olivia replied sincerely. "Shall we sit?" She said gesturing to the couch where Laurie was previously sitting.
"Yes, let's sit. I will only call you Olivia if you call me Laurie."
Olivia nodded as she took her purse off of her arm and pulled her jacket off. Amanda grabbed her stuff from her and deposited them in the chair that was at a table near them. The doctor and the detective made eye contact and had a silent conversation when Olivia sat down.
"Do you need me to stay?"
"No. I'll be fine."
Alice's grandmother took note of the interaction and made a mental note to ask about that later.
Amanda gave the slightest nod to her wife.
"Okay, ladies. I will leave you two to talk. I'll be at my desk if either of you need anything."
Laurie turned her full body to Olivia once Amanda closed the door.
"I just wanted to say really quickly how sorry I am for your loss. Alice was such a special little girl."
"Thank you. I'm very heartbroken about it. I must say, all I really want is for my son to face the consequences of what he's done. When I got the call, I didn't believe that he'd done it. But then, the officer who called me said that Alice told Detective Rollins that my son had hurt her when they found her, I was sickened." Laurie admitted.
Olivia's breath hitched. Amanda hadn't shared that little fact with her. She didn't tell her that Alice had openly told her that her father was the one who did it.
"So, you were her doctor?"
"Yes, I was her initial doctor when she came into the emergency room." Olivia explained. "She came in with a fractured arm but she also had a black eye and some older bruises " The doctor wasn't sure if she was helping or hurting the situation by telling Alice's grandmother these details. "Alice and her father both said that she had fallen down the stairs but anyone could see that a fall down the stairs wasn't the case at all. She honestly didn't even need to be admitted but I still made sure she was. I wanted to try and buy some time in hope that she would tell me what was going on. I tried to get help…" Olivia trailed off thinking about Amanda telling her that she was overreacting. "…but that didn't work out too well."
"Thank you for trying to help. May I ask how the picture came about?"
"I went to visit Alice after she had gotten admitted. I told her some things about myself and my childhood in hopes that she would open up but that didn't happen."
"Your childhood." Laurie stated.
"Yes. I related to Alice in a lot of ways. Anyways, I went to visit her and we talked for a little while. Before I left, she asked if we could take a picture and how on earth could I say no to that sweet little face?" Olivia finished.
"Thank you for trying to help her, Olivia. If I had known what was going on…" Laurie trailed off.
"I wished I could have helped more. I'm so sorry." Olivia whispered.
"Don't you dare apologize. You did all you could." The older woman said fiercely as she grabbed Olivia's hand.
The words made the brunette feel a little better but she was too far gone. She couldn't stop the tears. She truly felt horrible for breaking down. She was crying and grieving for a little girl that she hadn't known that long in front of said girl's grandmother. The woman who actually had a reason to cry and grieve.
Laurie reached over to pull the doctor into a hug. If anyone had walked in, they would have saw two grieving woman trying to comfort each other. After a few long moments, the women had pulled apart from each other.
"Did you have any funeral plans for Alice?" Olivia asked out of curiosity.
"I'm going to just get her cremated, I think."
"Please, let me cover the cost of anything you need. You can choose whatever urn no matter the price. Anything you need."
"I couldn't ask that of you." Laurie stammered.
"You're not asking. I'm offering. Alice changed my life and I would like to thank her in some way."
"That's very kind of you. Can I have a day or two to think about it?"
"Of course you can. Here's my card. I'll write my cell number on the back." Olivia's voice cracked when she said her last sentence. She immediately thought about when she had said those exact same words to Alice in that hospital room before she went back home with her father.
"It was lovely to meet you. Thank you so much." Laurie said as she stood up from the couch, pulling Olivia into another hug before she walked out of the lounge.
Olivia sat back down the couch. She was exhausted. The brunette couldn't believe how much this conversation took out of her.
Amanda, who had just got done saying goodbye to Alice's grandmother, walked into the lounge to check on her wife.
"Hey, how did it go?" Amanda asked as she sat next to her wife on the couch. The detective placed a hand on her wife's back hoping to provide some comfort and tried not to feel offended when she felt the doctor tense up.
"Very enlightening. I feel so bad for her. She lost her grandchild at the hands of her son. How do you even fathom that? How do you even begin to go on? Especially with the fact that he hasn't even been caught yet." Olivia just shook her head, not even able to go on.
"I don't know, babe. We're doing everything we can to try to find him." Amanda assured.
"We wouldn't be here if you had done everything you could for Alice in the first place." Olivia thought internally.
"Yeah, I know. You keep saying that, Amanda." Olivia sighed.
"What's the supposed to mean?" Amanda asked, trying not to let her temper get the best of her.
"It means whatever you want it to mean. If you don't need me for anything else. I'm going home." Olivia replied, grabbing her bag and her jacket.
"Liv, hold on. We can't keep fighting like this. It seems like we fight or start to fight almost every time we're in the same room now. We have to figure this out, we have to fix this." Amanda pleaded with her wife.
"Do we?" Olivia muttered.
"Do we what?" Amanda questioned.
"Have to fix this? I understand marriages have rough patches Amanda but, God, this feels like a lot more than that." Olivia said, trying her hardest not to cry.
Amanda couldn't believe what Olivia was saying. The detective knew one thing and one thing only. She was not going to lose her wife.
"Listen, unless we catch a case, I only have a few more hours left. When I get home, we'll talk about everything. We both put all of our cards on the table. That sound good?" The detective was praying that Olivia agreed. At this point she was desperate.
"Okay. I'll see you in a few hours." Olivia answered before she turned to walk out of the room.
"I love you, Olivia."
Olivia stopped in her tracks when she heard the words. Turning her body slightly towards Amanda she whispered "I love you, too" before continuing to walk out of the lounge.
Four and a half hours later, Amanda walked into the house. She'd been dreading coming home since Olivia left the station.
"Hey, there." Amanda said when she found Olivia in the living room. The doctor had decided to catch up on a book she was reading.
"Hi." Olivia replied. Putting her back down, she fixed the blanket that she had covering the lower half of her body.
"Did you eat? I can fix us something if you're hungry. Or we can order something? Whatever you want?" Amanda suggested.
"Amanda, you're stalling. You wanted to talk. Let's talk."
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