"Sometimes the ghosts of the past never leave us in peace."

Graham McNeill

Hermione walked towards Dumbledore's office with some trepidation. It had been a week and a half since the 'little accident' and the witch had not been out since. Remus had nursed her back to health with Minerva's help, strictly forbidding anyone else to enter. Madam Pomfrey had tried many times, but Remus had not relented, no one was allowed in, including the nurse. Hermione had kept her appearance all this time and it was almost strange for her to be back in Helena Grace's body. It was Minerva who had transformed her, Remus feeling that she was still too weak to do it herself. He wasn't entirely wrong. Human transfiguration required great concentration and total control of one's magic, not exactly the case with Hermione at the moment. Ever since she'd broken free, she'd had a hard time controlling herself again, especially her dark magic. She had taken Harry's wand back, the other two not fully obeying her.

The Headmaster was waiting for her, she was sure of it. She didn't really know how she was going to answer his questions. Her magical power was unheard of and Dumbledore would surely want to know more about her. He'd probably already done some research on them, but too bad for him, he probably hadn't found anything. Hel had been far-sighted and had created an identity for them in Spain. The old fool had better watch out, Hermione-Helena Granger-Grace was coming, and she wasn't going to make it easy for him. Hermione hoped for one thing, that the matter didn't get out beyond Hogwarts. If she had the aurors after her, she would be finished. She didn't expect to be rescued, but she didn't mind being sent back. Being sent to Azkaban would be a great inconvenience, but Sirius had explained to her how he had escaped. However, having the whole country looking for him would be a serious handicap in the search for the horcruxes and Hermione did not want that.

"Miss Grace, please sit down."

Grudgingly Hermione complied, she knew she had no choice.

"You know why I called you here I suppose?"

"Yes, because of the accident a fortnight ago."

"Accident? Well, Miss, you threw a cruciatus on one of your comrades, I don't call that an 'accident' as to the events that followed..."

"The events that followed my outburst are my own business."

"They happened in my school."

"There's a lot going on at this school. After all, Hogwarts is a school of magic..." she smirked.

"Why did Professor Lucas know how to react when you released magic?"

"He's my uncle, he knows how to take care of me. He's the only family I have left, it's a good thing he knows how to deal with my crises, who would have if he wasn't here?"

"Indeed, Miss Grace, I have a question about your magical quality."

"Let me stop you right there, Professor, there must be boundaries between a headmaster and his students. It's called privacy and you are overstepping that boundary. My magical quality is my own business and that of my family. You must blame me for the spell I cast on Mulciber, for the fact that I didn't know how to manage my emotions, but in no way is my power your business."

"Well, what you did was very serious. cruciatus can cause irreversible damage and great suffering."

Hermione struggled not to interrupt Dumbledore, telling him that she was well aware of the effects of cruciatus and did not need a lecture on the unforgivable spell. She had seen the effects it had on her and others.

"That is why, until the end of the year, you will have three detentions a week. One with Mr Filch on Monday, one with Professor Slughorn on Wednesday and one with Professor McGonagall on Saturday. I will personally see to it that the sanctions are enforced."

"You're not expelling me?"

"Not yet" Dumbledore said, looking grim. "I am, however, obliged to tell you that if there is even the slightest accident of this type, you will be expelled, permanently."

"Well, thank you Professor" Hermione spat, trying not to show her irritation.

"One last thing, where did you learn dark magic?"

"I never said I did dark magic, I only cast cruciatus. As for dark magic, I regret to say that some of the school practices it. Much more than me" she lied.

Without a glance at the Headmaster, Hermione stood up and left the office. She had lied to him, but he didn't need to know that. It was obvious that she practised dark magic, she wouldn't have had such a mastery of cruciatus otherwise. Many of the students from an old pureblood family practiced dark magic, but Hermione seriously doubted that they did as much as she did.

Hermione found Remus in his room after his meeting with the Headmaster.

"So, how did it go?"

"I have three detentions a week until the end of the year. One with Filch, one with Slughorn and one with Minerva."

"Why do you look so down? Would you rather be in Azkaban?"

"No, of course not, but these detentions are going to take me ages! Who's going to be looking for the horcruxes in the meantime?"

"I don't know" he quipped. "Maybe me? What do you think I'm doing all this time? Whenever I have free time I'm on the mission, that's my top priority, how can you doubt it? You're not the only one who cares about the future, Hermione. Get that through your head."

Hermione didn't answer and preferred to leave the room.

"That's it, run away, that's all you can do, you're no good at anything. Your friends will be better off without you, you mudblood" a small inner voice whispered to her.

"When he finds out about the mark, he won't want to talk to you, you'll end up alone, like you always were. You're a MONSTER!" the evil voice continued.

"That's not true, come on, Mione get a grip."

Hermione's footsteps had led her to the astronomy tower. Since the last incident at the beginning of the year, she hadn't set foot in there. If the stairs took her there, she would take a long diversions to avoid the place. It was where her life had been turned upside down, twice. Hermione sat down on the floor and curled into herself. She didn't know how long she stayed there, waiting for sleep to take hold of her. Sleep was sadistic, Hermione had always known that. From a young age she had noticed this when she struggled to fall asleep and woke up at dawn on weekends and would have happily slept more during the week when she got up early. It hadn't helped in the least when she'd entered Hogwarts. She stayed at work for hours, but even late, sleep would not come. At the end of her fifth year, Hermione met the sleep minions, just as sadistic as he was, if not more so. Insomnia and nightmares. Neither of these two scourges was better than the other. Hermione, in her misfortune, had insomnia every night and when she finally fell asleep, the nightmares would populate her subconscious.

Sometimes she would go several nights without sleep, populated by her memories. Since the great battle, Hermione never slept more than four or five hours a night, except after their encounter with the Guardians. Her arrival at Hogwarts had not helped her insomnia and if she slept for five hours, it was a miracle. Hermione surrendered herself completely to be consumed by her memories. She thought back to her sixth year, always that year. The year of her descent into hell. Her memories taunted her, as if she could have changed everything in that moment. Be even more present for Harry than she already was, not let Ron get her down, enjoy her friends while they were still around. A lot of things she hadn't done, at least not enough.

Harry saw a figure approaching him, slowly. He knew she was there, always there for him, but it was difficult. Somehow he was alone, as much as she was.

"Harry" her friend pleaded in a husky voice, "don't do this, don't leave me. You promised me, that we'd always be together, that for nothing in the world would you leave me in this bloody world, all alone."

Harry turned abruptly and almost lost his balance. He barely managed to catch himself on the iron fence.

"Mione" he whispered with a tearful voice and a pleading look.

"Come here, Harry, please."

To Hermione's relief, Harry gave up and came to land. Hermione rushed into his arms and they fell asleep in each other's arms, thanking life for putting them on the same path. Hermione without Harry, Harry without Hermione, life would be sad. They were naive, they had no idea that their certainties would collapse one morning in May, less than two years later.

Every night Hermione relived scenes from her past. The scenes in question were never the same two days in a row, but they were all more horrible than the last. Not horrible in the sense of murderous or painful, although they often were, horrible because Hermione was reliving the scenes over and over again, and she couldn't do anything about it. She saw her past evolve before her eyes without being able to move, speak or change anything.

Hermione felt a presence near her and saw Harry sitting next to her.

"How are you doing Harry, seeing Ginny with Dean?"

Hermione burst into tears and laid her head on her best friend's shoulder.

"I can't do it Mione, I can't get used to it."

Hermione's sobs increased in intensity and Harry pulled his friend closer to him. A few seconds later Ron and Lavender broke through their bubble.

Hermione knew that these memories were not good, not these. But she couldn't stop the memories from intruding on her mind.

Hermione walked into the Astronomy Tower, slightly distressed. She hadn't spoken to Harry alone since the last time, three days ago. They had explained in the morning and said that it didn't mean anything to either of them, but Hermione doubted, what if their relationship wasn't like it used to be? What if Harry didn't want her help anymore and jumped? Hermione knew the saying 'with ifs you could remake the world', but remaking the world was so tempting. To give Harry the chance to grow up with his parents. To prevent the tragic fate of Neville's parents, to bring Cedric and Sirius back from the dead. Hermione had grown up and knew it was impossible. At seventeen, she was incapable of doing anything. Bringing people back to life? It was like meeting the founders. Such a strong wish, but hopelessly impossible.

Hermione sat down next to Harry. Their legs dangled precariously in the air, but the barriers kept them from falling, or jumping.

"If I wasn't the Chosen One, if I didn't have the power to kill Voldemort, I think I'd be jumping right now."

"I know, Harry. I promise you, when this is all over, when we've won this bloody war, we'll come back here and if you still want to jump, an urge stronger than anything else, I won't stop you. I'll jump with you."

Harry knew that he could never dissuade Hermione from following him into death. Hermione was the most stubborn person he had ever met. Best friend was too weak an expression to describe what Hermione meant to him. Without her, Harry would have died, back at Hogwarts, the night Sirius died. Hermione is like the thread that keeps him alive. Invisible to others, but very much there. No one, not even Ron, knew how important they were to each other. They were a balance. If one of the weights was missing, the balance was off, just like their lives. Harry knew that he was the most important person in Hermione's life. It wasn't presumptuous of him, it was the exact truth. It was the same for him. Hermione was the being that kept him from the depths of death. His beacon in the night.

Hermione's memories came and went, and the witch could do nothing about it.

"HARRY JAMES POTTER! Get off this side now!"

Hermione shouted so loudly that Harry turned round and stumbled. His friend rushed towards him and held out a hand for him to catch her. Harry grabbed her hand, but saw that Hermione would never be able to pull him up the Astronomy Tower again.

"Mione, let me go."

"-No way Harry, I'm not letting you down and you're not letting go of my hand."

No sooner had Hermione finished her sentence than her hand slipped away and Harry was only holding it by his fingers. Hermione watched helplessly as her friend slipped and could not stop it.

"By Morgana, Mione, think, come on."

"Have you noticed? You're saying 'by Morgana' now."

"You're a witch! I am a witch" she continued, not paying any attention to Harry.

With her other hand she grabbed her wand and whispered a Wingardium Leviosa and Harry fell on top of her. Hermione pulled him close to her and slapped his face.

"What's wrong with you? You're crazy! It hurts. You're not controlling your strength Mione" he said with a small sorry smile, sensing the drama coming.

"I'm sorry? I AM crazy? You tried to jump Harry! You promised me... Don't give up on me."

Hermione burst into tears and Harry held her tighter to him. He knew he shouldn't have gone through the gate at that time, every day they met in the Astronomy Tower after Hermione had eaten. She often ate late, but once in a while she would visit the house elves and eat with them. It must have been what happened that day that made her come so early.

"You won't understand me, but I like this feeling, going over the fence, knowing I'm not going to jump. I'm closer to death, you know. I'm closer to my parents, to Sirius."

"Harry, whatever you do, I will always support you. Even if I don't understand it, you know I would move mountains for you. I'll follow you, no matter where you go."

"Me too, Mione, me too."

The scene ended and Hermione didn't have time to recover from her emotions, a new one was already appearing.

"I'm happy for you Harry, I really am. That you're going out with Ginny."

"I am too, but Mione, that's not going to stop me from doing what we have planned. I couldn't stay with her all my life. She has to be happy and she'll never be completely happy with me. As for you, I'm s-"

"Don't finish your sentence Harry, I've moved on from 'Ron'."

Harry raised an eyebrow, not suspecting for a moment that his best friend had forgotten about the young redhead.

"Harry Potter! Lower that eyebrow, do you think I haven't seen you? I may still have some feelings for him, but I could never date Ron. Not after this year."

Harry's face turned serious and he sighed. Ron hadn't always been supportive over the past year, he and Hermione had often found themselves alone carrying the weight of the world and talking about their anxieties and fears. But he knew that Hermione had an even deeper grudge, he had deserted them for that Lavender gourd. Harry would surely forgive Ron. After all, he was his best friend.

Hermione felt footsteps slowly approaching her. She heard voices talking, but couldn't understand what they were saying. Hermione felt cold, she was tired of waiting for sleep to come, tired of reliving her sixth year every night. She had seen so much of it, she knew it by heart. At least every part of their interviews with Harry. The wizard's face appeared and it was the last image Hermione saw before she fell into darkness.