In the days that followed, the Everdeens', Gale, and myself had settled into somewhat of a daily routine. I arrived to the Everdeens' by late morning most days, usually with a small stash of goods from my pantry. Just enough that our housekeeper wouldn't been too privy to the missing cans. My father had walked in on me one morning, placing that day's steals into a small satchel. He watched me for a long moment but went about his morning without saying anything. He was just as fond of Katniss as I was, and her little sister garnered affection from just about everyone in the district.
Mrs. Everdeen had given me a list of herbs that she had a hard time finding, and I was able to find some of them in my mother's collection of medications from the Capitol. It wasn't often that my father was able to get an order shipped from the Capitol, maybe once or twice a year. She had always insisted on stockpiling anything she could get her hands on, though now most of them have sat untouched for years. All but her morphling.
Gale usually arrived by the early afternoon, dropping off some of his usual morning haul. One evening while walking back to town he explained that in the summer he tried to get his hunting done in the early morning before it became too hot.
I frequently helped Mrs. Everdeen with the chores around their small house, and she had taught me how to make a tincture that she was giving to a neighbor whose son had contracted measles. It helped to distract me from being glued to the broadcasts that never seemed to run out of new content to share, and I never wanted to feel like I was imposing on them. For the past few days, we paid little attention as Katniss was sleeping off the tracker jacker venom after ambushing the Career pack.
The memory of standing frozen as we watched Rue climb from her safe haven in the tree to Katniss's unconscious body, all of us collectively holding our breath as we watched her drag Katniss to a concealed location and begin applying the leaves to her tracker jacker stings. Gale's eyes moved to Prim; his expression unreadable before he looked down at his hands.
"An ally, that's good," Mrs. Everdeen nodded, her voice quiet and shaking as her hands twisted a worn towel between them.
I reached over, my hand resting on her arm as I managed a small, reassuring smile. "Yes, she has someone looking out for her right now," I told her. Her hand gripped mine, her blue eyes blinking away tears quickly before she turned back to the laundry she had been laboring over.
Later that evening, my father was in the main sitting room when I slipped into the house, a half hour shy of when dinner was to begin. He had his back to me, watching the replays of Rue tending to Katniss as she lay unconscious.
"I thought I recognized the pin," he said without turning to look back at me. "I hadn't had a good chance to look at it until now."
"Yes sir," I replied, my voice timid.
I hadn't asked permission to give it to Katniss. My mother had given it to me, though she slipped it into my small trinket box one day when I was a small girl. It wasn't until a few years later when she saw me admiring it that she told me it had belonged to her sister. Her sister that died a bloody death in the Games. I had worn it to every Reaping I participated in, and when Katniss volunteered for her sister, I hadn't second-guessed my decision to give it to her.
After a long moment, I moved to sit beside my father. My hands folded in my lap so I wouldn't nervously pick at the skin around my nails; a habit I had developed recently.
"It's a good token," he remarked after a thoughtful silence. "She wears it well."
To this, I smiled softly and nodded. My father's hand rested on my shoulder, rubbing it affectionately before turning his attention back to the broadcast. I had braced myself for a scolding, for giving away something that meant so much to my family. But he understood the meaning of the pin as much as I did, and what the pin could bring to her family if she wouldn't be the one returning home the way we all had hoped.
My father had rarely scolded me though, this much I knew and should have expected. Sometimes I wondered if he was too soft for his position. The Capitol often ignored our district, so my father got away with letting most criminal activity slide. Especially considering most was committed to keep themselves alive. He didn't much like watching people suffer, but with his hands tied, turning a blind eye to the illegal trading activities was the best he could do.
A few days later, I had been cutting the carrots Prim had received from a neighbor in exchange for Lady's milk when the door cracked open, the small face of a grinning toddler peeking in. She was quickly followed by Gale, who pushed the door open as he ushered her inside. Mrs. Everdeen looked up, a genuine smile spreading across her face as she saw the little girl. "Posy! What a surprise it is to see you," she greeted.
I couldn't help my own grin as the dark-haired child climbed onto a chair beside of her, laying a fistful of weeds onto the table. "Sorry, she was driving my mother crazy, so she asked me to take her out of the house for a few hours," Gale apologized as he wiped his boots on the rug just inside the door.
"For you!" Posy giggled, her small hand thrusting out toward Mrs. Everdeen as she offered an array of grass blades and dried leaves. Posy then seemed to notice my presence; her eyes trained on me as her expression become one of slight, innocent suspicion. More than likely she had never seen me before, and aside from Mrs. Everdeen and Prim, the people in her life didn't look like me either. This only reinforced my "otherness" in the Seam; that they were right to be suspicious of me even if I was no danger to them. I knew that, but how could they.
I cautiously reached my hand out toward the small pile of weeds she had laid down. "May I?"
She nodded a little, leaning back away from the table where she was hovering over them. I gathered them into a bunch, my other hand reaching up to pull the small ribbon holding my hair up in a lose ponytail. My hair fell free down my back, a few loose strands in my face as I began tying the ribbon in a neat bow around the weeds. Taking care to keep the few flowered ones in order, I smiled softly as I finished. "There, that's better," I said, holding out the bouquet of dandelions, clovers, and grass.
She had watched me intently, a gleeful grin growing as she gingerly cradled it in her hands. Giggling, she climbed off her chair. Before trotting off to make her rounds showing off her new treasure, she looked up to me. "Thank you," she said carefully, as though she had practiced the words for such an occasion.
"My mom has been working on manners with her. Usually she says it as she's throwing a fit about getting a bath. That's the first time she's used it right," Gale chuckled as he swung his game bag into the chair Posy had just vacated with a soft thud.
Mrs. Everdeen smiled to herself as she folded a towel she had draped over her shoulder. "Prim used to greet people by saying 'goodbye'. It took her so long to actually say it when someone was leaving," she recalled, looking over to where her youngest daughter was fighting off a sheepish smile. "Katniss used to call everything a bird. Any animal she saw outside—cat, squirrel, possum. It didn't matter, it was all a bird to her."
The way she so fondly remembered her children made something in my chest ache. Our first housekeeper was the one who took care of me for most of my childhood, and any memories of me she had went with her when she passed of pneumonia years ago. The only stories of my childhood were the ones I remembered myself. In that moment, I would have given anything to trade lives with Katniss. To have a family to feel so fiercely attached to, to have a sister to be so determined to protect. To not be the outcast no matter where I went, to not stand out. And then I caught myself. How selfish to think this, knowing every advantage I had been handed since birth. I had never truly known hunger or desperation. I swallowed, trying to push away the shame I felt in that moment.
Just then, the camera on the broadcast focused in on Rue and Katniss finalizing their plans to destroy the Careers' stockpile at the Cornucopia. Our attention turned, intently watching as Katniss headed off on her own. Posy happily chattering to herself in a blissful oblivion as she occupied herself with one of Prim's dolls she found; the sound a stark contrast of the tense anxiety that hung heavy in the air as we watched this plan set into motion.
"If they're successful, it'll level the playing field," Gale remarked, considering this to be a benefit. "They won't have any power if they lose their stockpile."
Mrs. Everdeen just nodded, her eyes moving between the projection and where Prim sat, her fingers anxiously picking at the seam on her dress. Knowing that Gale and Mrs. Everdeen would begin sorting through the game, I moved to sit next to Prim on the well-worn, small couch.
As I asked Prim about her studies at school to distract from the intense coverage of her sister trekking down to the Careers' stash, Posy approached me again. This time, her small hand reached out to where my hair hung loose around my face, the small bundle of weeds still in her other hand. "Pwetty," she said softly, her fingers brushing against my hair. Without a second thought, she began climbing onto the couch, wobbling unsteadily on the stiff cushion. As she leaned against the back of the couch, carefully laying down the ribboned bundle before she began pulling my hair over my shoulders to lay it down my back in long blonde waves. I hadn't cut my hair in months, letting it grow long past where I normally kept it. Much to the disdain of Leera, the housekeeper, who insisted it was getting out of hand, but I loved the way the blonde waves looked the longer they became.
"Pose-" Gale began scolding, but I shook my head, stopping him. Scooting to the edge of the couch, I patted the seat to motion for her to sit down. As she did, I slid onto the floor, drawing my knees close to my chest. Posy giggled, enthusiastically pawing at the length; her little hands clumsily twisting pieces in what I'm sure she thought to be a braid.
Glancing up to the projection from the tv, I caught Gale's reflection in the old shaving mirror hung on the wall. To my surprise, I saw a rare smile on his face as he watched his little sister. I couldn't blame him. I had always wished for a sibling, at least one. But having me was hard enough on my mother; my father never asked her for another child.
As Prim chatted on about her classes, and what activities she was good at during the outdoor rec time while she showed Posy how to place a simple plait with just a few strands.
"Over, and over, and over," I heard Posy repeat the steps, though she didn't quite have the dexterity to follow them correct. All the same, it coaxed a gentle smile from Prim and Posy was happily entertained for longer than a few minutes.
As Katniss reached the Careers' camping spot at the Cornucopia, the room fell into a tense hush—the only sound being Posy's oblivious hums as she continued playing with my hair. Gale pulled the chair from the kitchen table over beside me, hunched over with his elbows on his knees as we all watched in an uncomfortable, anxious silence. Gale caught on before the rest of us, pointing to the pedestals where holes were dug into the ground.
"Someone dug up the land mines," he remarked with his eyes narrowing in concentration.
"Why would they do that?" I asked.
"See how they have all of the supplies piled together?" he asked, pointing toward the projection and the strategy dawned on me with a small 'oh'. The land mines had been replanted to protect their stash. This realization coming seconds before Claudius Templesmith explained exactly this. The lone boy guarding the Cornucopia had been the mastermind behind this plan; on brand for someone coming from District 3.
The District 5 girl hopped in a specific pattern, having memorized the steps in by spying on the Careers for hours. Once she darted off, the District 3 boy went in pursuit of the sound of her footsteps. Katniss stepped free of the brush, figuring out their secret and taking advantage of the unguarded Cornucopia. It seemed as though we held our breath, watching the first arrow slice through the top of the bag of apples, not enough to set them free. Her second, however, sent them falling in a cascade onto the ground. Only a mere moment passed before the land mines detonated in a sequence of blasts that shook the ground so violently, even the cameras planted in the arena shook.
As we watched Katniss fly back and slam hard against the ground, Prim's hand dug into the couch cushion in a death grip. Delirious and struggling to regain her sense of self from the blast, we watched, holding our breath, as she crawled into the heavy brush just as the Careers' re-entered the large clearing. Prim let out a heavy sigh, seeing her sister out of direct harm. For now.
After Katniss scaled a nearby tree to safety, the room seemed to come back to life. Mrs. Everdeen resumed her tasks at hand, and Posy became antsy once again. I took this as a good time to slip out; I could make it in time to lend a hand with dinner to Leera.
I said my goodbyes to Prim, reassuring the anxious girl before I headed for the door. It was only once I stepped over the threshold that I realized I had a tiny shadow following closely behind. Posy was only a few steps behind, once again holding her weeds in her small hand. Gale was only a few paces behind, the game bag hanging from his shoulder.
"I think she's decided that she likes you," he nodded toward his younger sister as the girl leaned against my leg, her fingers playing with the ribbon.
"I think I might be a bigger fan of hers," I smiled, smoothing her dark hair back out of her face.
"You say that now," he chuckled. "She's cute in small doses."
I shrugged, pushing a piece of hair behind my ear as she stepped up to her brother, holding up a small, jagged rock she found at her feet. "Meadow," Posy ordered as he took the small rock from her, dropping it to the ground behind his back where she wouldn't notice. I couldn't help but match his knowing grin toward me, shaking his head slightly.
"I promised her I'd take her to the meadow before we went home. Do you want to come, Undersee?" Gale asked, Posy already trotting off down the dirt road.
I hesitated for only a moment before I nodded, falling in step with him easily as he called out for Posy to slow down. She eventually let us catch up, immediately reaching for my hand as if she was showing me the way. "Her energy just never stops," he commented, finally breaking the silence. He wasn't wrong. She was practically trying to drag me along behind her and would be if she wasn't as small as she was.
I giggled, picking up my pace ever so slightly so appease the urgency the child felt. "I remember being this excited by life too," I admitted. I was a curious child who was always tagging along to trips to the shops with our first housekeeper. Anything they could do to get me out of the house as to keep it quiet for my mother.
"Me too," Gale echoed, his voice sadder than before. I glanced up, noticing a slight frown as he kept his concentration trained ahead of us. Once again, I was reminded that life for me looked vastly different. No matter how innocent my remarks, they always held an edge of naivety.
I didn't say anything else for the last part of the walk to the meadow, and as soon as the waving grass and wildflowers came into view, Posy took off in a sprint ahead of us.
"Usually one of my brothers brings her here almost every day so she can run until she tires out," he said, sitting on a fallen log at the edge of the meadow. "My mom can't wait until she starts school in a few months, she'll finally get peace and quiet while she works."
"I wish I had a little sister. I had always asked for one as a kid, but..." I trailed off, feeling the absence ache in my chest. "Our first housekeeper used to bring her granddaughter with her a few times a week during the summers. Those were my favorite days." The memory of the shy, raven haired girl brought a smile out of me. I hadn't thought about her in what felt like years.
"Well you've definitely won over Posy." A quiet few minutes fell between us as we watched Posy chase a fat, clumsy bumblebee from various patches of flowers, earning a few warnings from Gale when she got too close.
Finally, he spoke up again. "I'm not surprised she picked Rue for an ally," he said, his voice barely above a mumble.
I shook my head, agreeing with him. "She reminds me so much of Prim. How could she not."
After a small debate in my mind, I admitted, "She's wearing the pin I gave her after the Reaping."
Gale's head turned to me in surprise, a dark eyebrow raised in surprise. "I was wondering where she got that from. I didn't think she would have had that and not sold it years ago."
I nodded, not saying anything for a few seconds. "It belonged to my aunt. She died in the second Quarter Quell."
I could nearly feel his gray eyes studying my face, though I fought the urge to look back at him. "I-I didn't know."
I shrugged this off. I didn't like pity. "I never met her, obviously. But my mother misses her dearly. They were twins." I hadn't admitted this to anyone outside of my family, and I doubted anyone aside from Mrs. Everdeen really knew either. "I was named after her middle name, Pearl. Madge means Pearl in some ancient language, or so my father says."
"Pearl," Gale repeated, nodding as I finally afforded a glance in his direction. "It's fitting."
Somehow this didn't feel like a jab, and I looked away as my cheeks tinged pink. Just then, Posy trotted up with a fistful of dandelion flowers and purple violets. Dropping them in my hands, she climbed up between us on the log.
"Did you know that purple is my favorite color?" I asked her, laying out the ones with the longest stems on my leg as I began braiding them together.
"Pur-ple," she sounded out, her finger brushing against the violets in my lap.
"Mm-hm," I hummed encouragingly, tucking in a thick dandelion stem. "What's yours?"
She thought for a long moment, her eyes watching a hummingbird tentatively hover around a tree nearby. "Pink," she answered confidently, and Gale chuckled beside her.
"Pink is always her answer," he explained as I handed her back the short braided rope of flowers.
"What about yours?" I reflected the question back, genuinely curious.
He didn't hesitate. "Blue," he admitted, glancing up to the clear sky above us where the sun hung in the mid-afternoon sky. "Just like days like today."
This immediately reminded me of the consuming pitch black of the mines, the place he was headed in just over a week. I smiled softly and nodded, unable to find an appropriate response where I wouldn't make an ass of myself again.
It didn't take long for Posy's energy to wane, her heavy yawns signaling that a nap was needed for her. Walking back toward the Seam, Posy filled the silence with her mostly meaningless chatter. And when I parted ways with them, following the road back to town, I could feel his eyes watching me.
I am back. And I am so excited to be back. I have a Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes for reigniting my love for the series yet again, and I couldn't leave this story alone. All of the places where I had writer's block has begun to grow again in my mind, and I am so excited to see where this story takes me.
I have most of the story fleshed out through the end of Mockingjay, but I haven't decided if I want to separate out between Catching Fire and Mockingjay, or keep it as one continuous story. Or how many chapters this will be, though I anticipate at least 30-40. I just can't leave Gadge well enough alone, they deserved a full story. Thanks for reading!