Chapter 13

I ended up staying in the hospital for another two weeks after that first lucid day. Recovery was slow, by the time I was finally able to leave, the hair was finally starting to grow back on the back of my head from where it was shaved and I was almost able to hide it. I had been working on walking with crutches but only for very short intervals, I still wasn't allowed to put any weight on my leg. I was beyond ready to be out of the hospital, Edward had been bringing me my homework but it would be really nice to be back in school again.

About a week after I had truly woken up, I had a surprise visitor- Cole had shown up as soon as he had heard what had happened. After Aiden convinced Edward to let him in he had told me that he had been kept in the dark about what had happened and only found out when he overheard a conversation, he was furious. He stayed for many hours before I convinced him that I was ok and that he could go back home, I'd be out of there in no time. I didn't tell him about my eye.

The vision in my left eye hadn't improved; it hadn't gotten worse at least so there was that. Because of this I had a lot of left sided neglect; it was a lot of work remembering to turn my head every time I wanted to see something on my left side. It made walking difficult as well, I often couldn't see where my left crutch was most of the time, if it wasn't for Edward and the physiotherapist I would have fallen quite a few times by now. With my ribs and skull, falling wasn't in my best interest.

'Hey.' Edward walked in smiling pushing in a wheelchair.

'Do I get to leave?!' I sat up suddenly full of energy, reading his facial expression.

'I'm here to spring you.' He laughed as the two of us started to gather up my things.

'Bella! You're finally out of here,' my favourite nurse said as she walked in 'I really don't want to see you for a while, you've been in and out of here too often lately.'

'I will Brenda! Trust me I have no intention of coming back here any time soon, although I will miss you!' I responded.

She looked at me seriously 'Please take care of yourself kid. And you,' she looked at Edward 'look out for her, she's a walking disaster.'

'I know…' Edward sighed 'I'll do my best.' With that she laughed and left us as Carlisle walked in.

'Todays the day Bella, you ready to go?' he asked.

'Absolutely.' I smiled at him.

'Are you sure you don't want to stay at the house? I have a feeling I won't be seeing two of my children for a while if you don't.' he laughed.

'I'm sure I'll be there pretty often, but I just want to go home, thank you though Carlisle.'

'Alright well you're good to go, I've got you signed out, just know that you're welcome over any time.' His beeper went off 'I've got to go, I'll see you kids later.' And he left.

'Ready?' Edward asked and I nodded, he smiled as he leaned in to kiss me, his lips almost touched mine as he was shoved away from me, but he expected it and caught himself. Aiden had been clingy since we got back; it was a mixture of us being ripped apart and myself almost dying in the process that had him freaked out. He was also moody, he couldn't save me and he was mad at everyone for it, mad at Edward for not saving me even though he couldn't have.

He hadn't let anyone too near me that wasn't absolutely necessary, he had even pushed away a nurse who hadn't been quite as delicate as he thought was necessary- needless to say she never came back in to see me. Infuriatingly Edward thought he was being sensible, he of course blamed himself for not saving me right along with Aiden, and no matter what I said to the contrary he wouldn't stop beating himself up.

'Aiden, enough already.' I said glaring at him.

'No, he's right. I have to earn his trust again, his and yours.' He looked sombre.

'You never lost my trust, you didn't do anything wrong, there's nothing you could have done.' I said exasperated, I've already had this conversation too many times.

'Let's agree to disagree.' He said looking away.

We exited the hospital to falling snow; it was almost April for god sakes. Edward helped me from the wheelchair to the car and he headed towards my house, he was quiet on the way home but so was I. I was nervous for some reason I couldn't put my finger on. I had just started living this new life and the CIA was still trying to pull it out from under me, Aiden was thinking about this too.

'It's not going to happen again.' Edward said suddenly, pulling me from my reverie.

'What?' I asked, unsure what he meant.

'They aren't going to take you again, you're done.' He was deadly serious.

'That's a nice thought, but I don't have a choice.' I said darkly 'I have to do what they say... I don't have a choice.' I repeated quietly.

'That isn't true, you're your own person, and they don't own you.' He saw the look on my face 'They don't, Bella. If you were to go public with this they would have to free you, there would be a massive investigation.'

'If I were to go public with this they would kill me, they would create a story about how I was insane and probably stage a suicide.' The thought of this terrified me, my heart started racing and I started to sweat.

'You're scared of them.' He realized 'I didn't think you were scared of anything.'

'I am. My birth mother outlived her usefulness and they got rid of her. I've got bits and pieces of information about what happened but never the full story. I know that she was 'gifted', though I don't know in what way, she became pregnant with me and then the CIA had custody of me. I don't know what happened to her, if she willingly gave me up or if they took me, but she's gone and I have to believe no one would willingly subject their child to the way I was raised.'

'Bella I'm speechless, how is this even possible? What about your birth father?' Edward asked, shocked.

'I've never heard anything about him, I have no idea. I don't even know either of their names.' We were just pulling into my driveway.

'I had never realized how dangerous this was. I'm not leaving you alone anymore; I cannot risk them coming to take you away. If they try again we run, we run somewhere that they will never find you. This won't happen again, I might not have been able to save you this time but it will NEVER happen again.'

I stared straight ahead, not trusting my voice.

'You don't believe me.' He stated simply.

'It's not that I don't believe you… I just don't think that we will be able to get away, I've tried before, and they always found me.'

'You didn't have me before.' He smiled wryly.

'You're awful sure of yourself.' I cocked an eyebrow.

'Unequivocally.' He smiled at me.

We had rented a wheelchair until I was back on my feet and Edward carried me into the house and set me down into the chair then headed back out to get the few belongings that I had with me. I wheeled myself into the house and found it mostly the way it was when I was taken away, I went to the kitchen and was glad to see someone had tossed the old produce, they had even recently stocked the fridge for me, and I felt tears welling up at the small act of kindness. I wasn't used to people doing things for me out of the goodness of their hearts, just out of obligation.

'What's the matter?' Edward walked in and saw me, looking concerned.

'Nothing, nothing. You guys didn't have to replace the food in my fridge, I could have done it.' I said, sniffing.

He looked at me quizzically 'We weren't going to leave rotting food in your fridge, or nothing for that matter.'

'I appreciate it, so much, you really didn't have to.'

He crouched in front of me 'It's what family does Bella; you're going to have to get over it because Alice is dying to take you shopping.' He smiled his crooked smile at me 'But seriously, you don't have a very high opinion of yourself. You have to know that you are worthy of love and effort, you may not believe that now but you are so much more than the weapon that they made you into.'

It was that night that the nightmares started. I woke up in a blind panic having relived the torture I had experienced in China again in my dreams. I shot straight up in bed and felt someone grab my left arm in the dark, I couldn't see who it was and mine and Aiden's panic mixed together and threw this person off of me and heard the crash of their body hitting the wall followed by the rustling of drywall hitting the floor.

'Bella! Its ok, it's just me, I'm not going to hurt you.' I heard Edward say as he flipped on the light and I saw him clearly for the first time.

'Oh my god…' I whispered looking at the wall I had thrown him into, there was a large hole in the wall where he had hit, and there was drywall dust all over him.

'Edward…' I stared at him dumbfounded and then looked back at the wall; I couldn't believe what I had done. He came right over to me and knelt on the bed.

'Bella, look at me.' He put his hands on either side of my face and forced me to look away from the gaping hole that I had made with his body. 'You did nothing wrong, I mean it, look at me. You had a nightmare and I surprised you on the side that you can't see well, on top of that it was dark. It was my fault, I didn't think.'

I pulled my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around my legs 'I'm so sorry.' I whispered. 'I'm a monster. How could I…?' I buried my head in my arms, I couldn't look at him, I've never felt so guilty before, so inhuman.

'Bella, please love. I'm fine; you have to know that that didn't hurt me, or scare me. You aren't a monster, you were afraid.' Edward tried to convince me.

'Please Edward, just go, I'm too dangerous to be around, I'm not in control, I'm not good.' I begged him.

'Bella, listen to me. Out of the two of us, you aren't the dangerous one, I put you in danger every single day by being around you. You can't hurt me Bella, and you don't scare me. You're no monster, you're an amazing person put into horrible circumstances and you're doing everything you can to survive.' He pleaded with me.

I couldn't respond I was so disgusted with myself. I left my head buried in my arms and just wished he would leave, he didn't deserve to have to deal with this, deal with me. We sat in silence for a while as he rubbed circles in my back.

Edward finally broke the silence 'Bella, please go to bed. You barely slept at all, you need to sleep to heal.' I just shook my head. No way was I going back to sleep, I couldn't risk hurting him.

'At least lay with me, please. I will leave the light on, I promise.' He pulled me out of my compact position and made me lay with my head on his chest. I was tense the rest of the night; I couldn't relax or stop thinking about what I had done to him.

Eventually, finally, the sun started to rise and sunlight poured through my window onto Edwards bare forearm, I couldn't help but reach out and stroke it gently, mesmerized by the beauty of it.

'Did you sleep at all love?' Edward asked hopefully, I just shook my head and he sighed.

'Are you hungry?' I shook my head again and he got up. 'Too bad, you didn't sleep; you at least have to eat, unless you want to sleep now?' He asked smiling; I just shook my head again. He gently picked me up and ran me downstairs at vampire speed, trying to get a reaction out of me I figured, and sat me on the couch pulling a blanket over me and took off for the kitchen.

The stress of last night and the lack of sleep mixed together to give me a massive headache, my previous head trauma making itself known. I leaned my head back into the back of the couch closing my eyes, I was barely aware of Aiden communicating with Edward.

'Headache?' he asked from the kitchen.

'Mm' I responded. He was at my side a second later offering me a Tylenol and a glass of water; I took them gratefully 'Thank you.' I said quietly.

'You're very welcome.' He said as he walked back to the kitchen, relieved I thought, that I was talking again. He returned about 20 minutes later with a plate with two pieces of French toast on it, I looked at him quizzically.

'Since when do you know how to cook?' I asked.

'I wouldn't make any rash statements until you've tried it,' He laughed 'this whole cooking thing is new to me.'

I rolled my eyes and took a bite 'Of course it's perfect. How are you perfect at everything?'

'Hardly,' he laughed again, 'eat your food, we're going to my house when you're done. Alice has been threatening me every day about not bringing you by.' I snorted but kept eating. Edward and I had been working on building up my strength the last few days and I was adamant that I wouldn't be using the wheelchair anymore.

When I was done eating Edward carried me back upstairs where I got ready to go (trying not to look at the hole in the wall) and we went back downstairs to leave. Edward went through the front door first holding it open for me, as I took a step forward using my crutches- the door slammed shut.

'Bella?' I heard Edwards confused voice ask from the other side of the door.

'I'm alright, just give me a second.' I said, annoyed. 'Aiden, stop being a brat, open the door.' He refused. 'You don't control my life Aiden, you have no say over what I do and who I see. You need to stop holding this unfounded grudge against Edward, there is nothing that he could have done to help and all you're doing is preventing him from helping me.' He was adamant, he wasn't going to let me out and he wasn't going to let Edward in.

'Bella, are you ok? Want me to break in?' Edward asked, worried about Aiden's outburst.

'No, I'll deal with it.' I responded much more quietly than how he was speaking to me, he had no trouble hearing through the door.

'Aiden, one last time; open the door.' He wasn't budging. Closing my eyes I pushed through his consciousness and did something that I've only had to do twice before in my life. I took him over. 'I told you Aiden, you aren't in control.' I could feel the painful pressure building up in my head from this act that shouldn't be possible; this was not something that humans were built to do. He tried to fight against me but I was stronger and I forced him to unlock the door. As soon as the lock clicked the door was thrown open by Edward.

As soon as I relinquished control of Aiden I felt myself start to falter and Edward caught me.

'You're bleeding.' His face was full of concern as he led me back to the living room to sit down.

'Sorry…' I said as he pushed some paper towels to my face to staunch the flow of blood coming from my nose.

'Don't be, are you ok?' he asked, eyes burning.

I nodded 'I'm fine, I'm sorry about that. Aiden has been especially moody lately.'

'How did you do that?' He asked, curiosity winning out over concern.

'I've had to do it a few times, I'm not quite sure how it works, but really- how does any of it work? It's similar to how I can separate from my body mentally to see out of his eyes- except somehow I'm able to gain control, take over and force him to do what I want him to. I think it's similar to what happened last night; I panicked and he reacted with exactly what I wanted him to do. We are connected in ways I'm not even sure of.'

'I knew he was mad at me but I didn't realize he would go that far…'

I shook my head 'He's mad at himself, he's just taking it out on you.' Aiden grumbled at that.

'How's your nose?' he asked after a minute.

I pulled the saturated paper towels away from my nose; 'Just about done.'

Edward held out his hand, 'Want me to throw it out?'

'Not a chance.' I wasn't going to cause him more pain. 'Can you help me get to the bathroom?'

'Of course.'

In the bathroom I was cleaning myself up at the sink and I looked in the mirror at the two of us; me, covered in blood with bruises still marring my face and him- pale and perfect, eyes dark and burning with hunger.

'Edward, just go, you're hungry, and you don't need to be around my blood right now.'

'Don't be absurd, I'm fine.' He said dismissively.

'No you aren't, you need to hunt. You spend too much time here, you aren't taking care of yourself.'

'I'm fine.' He assured me as he looked at us in the mirror. 'We do make quite the pair though don't we?'

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