Thought Police

Disclaimer: If you recognize it, it's not mine. This story is on an AU track.

Chapter 4: Just Like You, Just Like Me

"You know," Charlie said with a wry smile, "until you introduced yourself, I was half-convinced that you weren't actually, well, you."

Zach laughed with a slight shake of his head. "I could say the same about you. Wow, what's it been, eleven years?"

"Eleven years, two months, and one week since you moved on from LA," Charlie replied immediately.

"Of course. No approximates around you, right?"

"Right," Charlie said with a grin that quickly faded. "And nine years, three months, eight days since you sent me that last email I never answered. I just...I didn't...and then I meant to, but I could never figure out what to say about all that time -" He stopped, drawing a breath to collect his thoughts. "My mom got sick," he said finally. "Cancer."

"Charlie, I'm sorry," Zach said softly.

The shorter man nodded once in acknowledgement. "I didn't - I didn't know how to handle it. I couldn't handle it. So I just sort of...shut the world out for awhile. Threw myself into math. And then after - after she died, I pretty much fell apart. It wasn't until about nine weeks later that I could even think about getting back to life. By then it had been over five months since your last email, and I didn't want to just write and fall back into the old rhythm like nothing had happened, but I couldn't figure out how to tell you, especially since I was still afraid to spend too much time dwelling on what had happened, so I just...let it go. I'm sorry."

"Don't. It's okay, I understand. Don't you remember? That's basically what I was doing in LA in the first place, trying to put some distance between myself and something I didn't know how to handle."

"I remember." Charlie gave a quick glance around the squad room. "That's a big part of why I was so surprised to see you here. I remembered you said you weren't a cop anymore."

Zach shrugged. "I was...I guess I was wrong. Or maybe lying to myself. At the time, the only way I knew how to deal with my problems was distance, so I created some distance. But I was never really happy about being away, from the city or from a job I'd come to love. In retrospect, I think that's why I moved around so much during that time. Maybe I just didn't want to admit to myself that leaving was almost as hard as staying would have been. But enough about me," he added after a few moments' slightly awkward silence. "What about you? You being here is at least as unexpected as me being here."

That got a laugh from Charlie. "Yeah, I guess from your perspective it would be. It's become so normal I forget sometimes how different it is from how I used to be."

"I take it the similarity in name between you and the lead agent is more than a coincidence?"

Charlie's smile nearly split his face in half. "He's my brother."

"Your brother?" Zach repeated incredulously. "The one you told me about?"

Charlie nodded. "He came back to LA when Mom got sick. Things changed. A lot. One day, about a year after Mom died, I looked at a map Don left on the table, got an idea...I had no idea how much my life was going to change in that moment. At first it was just a consult here and there, but within a few months it was almost a second full-time job."

"Because your first full-time job isn't enough."

Charlie laughed, shrugging. "Strange as it might sound, I enjoy it. I mean, I enjoy math on the academic level too, always have, but the impact is so abstract and limited. When I use math to find a kidnapped child or stop a bank robbery, there's an immediate and real impact to real people. It's kind of incredible."

Zach smiled knowingly. "Not strange at all. Not to me, anyway. So," he added, changing the subject, "I don't recall that ring you're wearing being on your hand while we were whiling away the hours playing chess. How long have you been married?"

"Four years." Another ear-to-ear grin. "Her name's Amita and she's a math professor too."

"And you didn't bring her along?" he teased.

"Are you kidding?" Charlie laughed. "It's the FBI. Hard enough to get them to pay for travel for one consultant, let alone two. Besides," he added, now almost quivering with excitement, "she's pregnant. I don't think a cross-country flight would have agreed with her."

Zach laughed too. "A wife and a soon-to-be baby? I'm only gone a decade and look what happens." He gave his friend a gentle slap on the back. "Congratulations. When's she due?"

"Early January. But what about you? I don't see a ring...is there a girl in your life?"

"Well," he hedged, "literally, yes. But not in the way I think you meant it." He took a few steps over to his desk, reaching out to snag a framed photo and passing it to Charlie. "Andrea. The girl in my life."

He examined the photo for a long moment; Zach beaming as he held a small, black-haired girl in his arms. The girl was smiling too, arms around his neck and legs wrapped around his waist. "She's beautiful. How old?"

"Nine," he replied, now mirroring the proud smile Charlie had worn earlier.

"Nine?" Charlie repeated. "And you thought you'd missed a lot?"

The tall man laughed, shaking his head. "Not exactly. She's been on Earth for nine years, but she's only been mine for a year and change. That photo," he indicated the frame Charlie was holding, "that was taken on July eleventh of this year. The family court judge had just finalized the adoption. I was fostering for a year, almost to the day, before that."

"Wow." Charlie shook his head slightly, trying to wrap it around this new information.

"I know," Zach admitted. "It's about as far from what anyone, including me, expected from me as you can get."

"Hey." Charlie smiled knowingly. "Life doesn't always go the way we think it will. All I know is, you're happy. I can see it in this picture and I can hear it in your voice when you talk about her. And I think right now, that's all I need to know."

xxxxxxxxx

"I need a basic layout on each of your teams," Alex explained to Don and Cho. "Who usually does what, what skills each person has, that sort of thing. Including consultants."

Cho spoke up first. "You might have noticed, but we're down a person at the moment. I just took over the team leader job and my spot hasn't been filled yet. In regards to what I do have: Lisbon is pretty well-rounded, I can use her pretty much anywhere I need someone. Before she came to the FBI, she ran a team at a state agency; she's more than capable of managing people effectively. Not that there's any shortage of that here," he added, deadpan, looking between Alex and Don. "Wylie's a computer expert. Doesn't mean I exclusively keep him in the office, but if you need someone to pull off some technical stunt, he's your guy. As for Jane -" Cho went silent for a moment, seeming to consider how exactly to describe the team consultant. "His skill is people," he began. "He understands how they think, and when necessary, he can use that to get information. The one thing to know, though, is that while he may work for the FBI, he doesn't really fall into the FBI hierarchy very well. He has his own way of doing things, his own code as it were. I admit," he added, "there's been a time or two where he was right and kept us from doing something we would have regretted. But, that aside, he needs someone to keep an eye on him. Lisbon or I would probably be best; he actually listens to us. Sometimes."

"Understood," Alex replied, biting back a laugh. "Don?"

The agent in question turned towards her, having briefly looked away to hide a laugh of his own. "Right. My team. Granger's my second-in-command, he's as dependable as they come. A hard-ass when it's called for, but also incredibly compassionate and patient when it's called for, more than you might expect when you meet him. He's usually my first choice to interview victims and families. Warner's pretty by-the-book, easygoing, pretty much fits in anywhere, like Cho was saying about Lisbon. Now Bentencourt - Nikki - she's a bit of a hothead, and sometimes has to be reminded to wait for all the facts before she jumps to conclusions. That said, I'd put my life in her hands any day of the week and not think twice about it."

"And Charlie?" Alex prompted when he fell silent. "I caught the fact you have the same last name; you two are what? Brothers? Cousins?"

"Brothers," Don confirmed. "Yeah. Charlie...Charlie's Charlie. Okay, so for your purposes, most important thing is that Charlie doesn't really do fieldwork in the conventional sense. Sometimes he'll go to a scene for analysis, but he doesn't really interview people or do that sort of thing. We just give him the data and let him go to work on it."

"So...wait a second," Alex interjected. "Forgive me, but...what exactly is it that Charlie does for you?"

Don let out a short laugh. "Sorry. I guess I skipped a few steps, huh? Charlie's a mathematician - he kind of takes the idea of applied mathematics to the next level, especially when he's working with us."

"So, the whole tree thing -"

"Yeah, that's normal," Don confirmed. "He's pretty good at translating that stuff for us - which is good, because when he starts using academic terms, the whole team gets lost pretty quickly. If he doesn't do it automatically, just ask him to clarify. And if he's working, just let him work unless you need to tell him something. When he gets in the zone, it's best to just let him run with it."

"Okay," Alex agreed. He was right about one thing, I suppose. I don't think anyone local has a mathematician on the payroll. "I'll start dividing up assignments."

xxxxxxxxx

"Okay," Alex said briskly. "Right now, what we seem to need most is more information. Zach, Serena, I need you to re-interview McNeil's sister, focusing this time on the days before he went missing. If you get anything that looks like a lead, run it down. Jane, I hear you've got a skill for helping people remember things they might have ignored; you and Lisbon see what you can do about the witnesses from tour bus pickup point. Warner, Bentencourt, I need you two to retrace Carolyn's movements after she left the FBI. We're looking primarily for her car, registry and route info are here." She handed a folder to Nikki. "If you find the car - or anything else that could help - call CSU. Don, Cho, see what you can run down on anyone not in prison who might have connections to the group you broke up. Wylie, see what still exists in terms of internet chatter for this group. Do what you can to trace anything you come across. Granger, you're with me."

Colby approached Alex as the groups split off. "Okay, I'm with you. Where are we going?"

"We need to re-interview Mike, Carolyn's boyfriend," she said as they stepped into an elevator. "It's going to be a bit of a tricky interview. Don says you're good at navigating the waters on that kind of thing."

"Learned art," he demurred, "that's all. But what's the issue? He's the victim's boyfriend, and according to you a former cop. Isn't he on our side?"

As they emerged from One Police Plaza, Alex started for the driver's side of the SUV, then paused. "Sorry, did you want to drive?"

"No, it's okay." He opened the passenger's side door. "You know where we're going, anyway. I guess you don't ride with people much anymore, what with running a unit."

"It's not just that. Before I got the promotion, I worked with a partner for ten years who liked to use the time we spent driving on analysis. I would drive, he would think. By the second year, it was just automatic that I'd get in the driver's seat. And to answer your question," she backtracked, "yes, Mike is on our side, but the local PD massively mishandled the initial investigation. He's upset, and I don't blame him, but that's going to make any subsequent interviews that much harder. That's why I assigned myself to this interview too; he knows me, he knows I've been as frustrated as he has."

"Fair enough," Colby said with a small smile. "If the same thing happened to someone I cared about, I might not be feeling so cooperative myself. So," he added, "anything I should know right off the bat? Things to avoid mentioning?"

Alex smiled too. Yeah, he gets it. "Um, first off, Mike has zero family, and it's not a pleasant topic, so I'd avoid it altogether if at all possible - especially in the context of potential support systems," she added. "Other than that...just be direct. As long as you don't come off like you're accusing him of something, he'll give you a straight answer to a straight question."

"Tells it like it is, huh?" Colby nodded. "Sounds kind of like Don. It's gotten him in trouble a time or two."

"Only two?" Alex teased.

He laughed. "Yeah, well...maybe a little more than that." He shrugged. "Personally, I think it makes him better at his job, but the brass would rather we dance around things – unless we're talking to them, of course, then we better not spin anything."

"Don't I know it. I've known more than my share of good cops who ran into trouble because the NYPD brass didn't like the way they handled things. My first Captain in Major Case was nearly framed for a coverup that never happened, all because he didn't cover for a high-ranking bad cop. My partner was badmouthed for years over a similar incident."

Colby scoffed softly. "Yeah, short-term memory my ass."

Alex turned slightly to give him an odd look. "What?"

He reddened slightly. "Sorry, I was just thinking of something someone said to me once. A cop who was forced to retire after he crossed a couple lines. He said that at the top it's all short-term memory; they only remember the last thing you did. But I think he underestimates their ability to hold a grudge."

She chuckled. "Depends if they take it personally, I think. If it's a procedural thing, even a big one, your friend might be right. But if you cross them personally? They never forget."

"Oh? Which were you?"

"How did you..."

He shrugged. "I'm not an FBI agent for nothing, you know."

She laughed. "I'm a whole other category. I swear they couldn't decide if they hated or loved me..."

xxxxxxxxx

The man who came to the door looked as though he hadn't slept in a week. The Lieutenant's face filled with compassion and concern as soon as she saw him. "Mike."

"Alex," he replied softly. "Is there...is there news? What's going on?"

"Nothing concrete, but we are working a new lead." Sympathy was evident in every word. "This is Agent Granger, he's working on Carolyn's case."

"Colby." He offered his hand to Mike, who hesitated for a moment and then shook it.

"Don't worry," Alex reassured him. "He's with me. Can we come in?"

"Yeah. Sure." Mike stepped back from the door, turning and walking towards the living room. "What do you need from me?"

"Information," Colby replied as all three of them found seats. "We think it's likely that whoever took her planned everything out in advance. What we need is to map her movements in the days leading up to her disappearance. If we can establish what and when, we might be able to extrapolate who."

Mike nodded, a firm determination filling his pained and tired face. "Okay."

"We have her work schedule from Alex," Colby began. "What we need details on are her movements outside work for the last few weeks. Do you always stay here?"

"Uh, no. A lot of times, it's much closer to work for both of us, but she still has her apartment. We've talked about moving in together when her lease ends, but we hadn't - we never made a decision."

"But she was headed here on the day she disappeared?" Mike nodded again, and Colby continued. "And you last spoke to her when?"

"About three that afternoon. I called her to ask if, um, if she was going to be getting off work on time. Damn," he added, "that sounds completely wrong when I say it out loud. Like I was keeping tabs on her or something."

"What was it like?" Colby prompted.

He swallowed hard. "I'd had...I'd had a really bad day. I just wanted to know if I'd be able to see her that night. She understood that. She said everything looked good, she'd be here before six if she didn't hit traffic."

"And you tried to call her again when?"

"Around seven. I'm not the type to nitpick over a few minutes, but an hour's delay on what would normally be a twenty-minute drive seemed like a lot, and it's not like Carolyn not to let me know what's going on if there was a massive traffic jam or something. But it went straight to voicemail. I left a message, sent a text, and waited. When I didn't hear from her, I tried again, a couple of times. Then I called Alex, in case she knew anything."

"Which I didn't," the Lieutenant said softly.

"And, well, that's about it. I went to Missing Persons, that was a disaster, talked with Alex again, she said she'd try to handle it from the FBI end, and here we are."

"When you say Missing Persons was a disaster..."

"First they laughed. One of them tried to joke with me about putting on some kind of show for Alex. He, uh, implied some things about me and her which I almost decked him for."

Alex sat up a bit, surprised. "You didn't tell me that!"

He shrugged. "One of us needed to keep a cool head, and it wasn't going to be me."

Colby winced slightly. "I take it that wasn't exactly a good start to the interview."

"That's the understatement of the century. At the best of times, a comment like that would've been off-color, disrespectful to both of us, and to Carolyn and Bobby - that's Alex's fiance. To suggest that I'd cheat, or even think about it, when I'd come to them for help finding my girlfriend - well, he should be grateful I've learned to rein in my temper a bit. There was a time I would've swung first and thought later."

Colby couldn't help but laugh. "I know a thing or two about that. So," he continued more soberly, "what happened next?"

"Well, once he realized I wasn't playing his game, he got annoyed at me for wasting his time. Said I was overreacting. It devolved from there. Alex had to intervene and walk me out before things got completely out of hand."

"No great loss," she put in. "The other detective was busy treating me like a hysterical woman who'd gone off the rails."

"The callousness is bad enough on its own," Mike said bitterly. "But the time they wasted not investigating, if that turns out to have made a difference, I don't know what I might be capable of."

"Let's not go there right now," Colby said firmly, but with a comforting tone underlying the words nonetheless. "You've got ten good officers working on this case now, and they will be doing everything they can to find her."

Mike started slightly at the number, but the reassurance had the desired effect, and he relaxed a bit. "I'll hold you to that."

Colby responded with a kind smile. "Let's back up a bit. The days before Carolyn's disappearance - I assume that if you'd noticed anyone following you, you'd already have mentioned it."

Mike nodded, smiling a bit too despite himself. He was beginning to like the agent, seeing similarities much like the one Colby had observed.

"What about public places? Has she been anywhere lately where someone might have picked up a trail?"

"No, I don't think so," he said after a moment's thought. "We haven't really been out much. Carolyn's been working long hours and by the time she's done she just wants to stay in."

"Let me ask you this. How difficult would it be for a random member of the public, someone who's interested but who you don't know directly, to figure out that you and Carolyn are a couple?"

He considered this. "I'm not sure. Probably not that hard. I mean, we haven't made some big announcement, but we're not secretive about it. And," he added, "people might not know that we're dating, but still know there's a connection between us. Carolyn and I were partners on the force for about a year before she went back over to the FBI, we got our names in the paper a time or two over a high-profile case."

"And what do you do? I've never known a retired cop who could just sit back and let life pass them by."

"Private firm," he replied, smiling at Colby's comment. "My old Captain on the force runs it, pretty much all his employees are retired NYPD."

"Anything especially public, something that might call attention to you?"

Mike suddenly sat bolt upright, eyes going wide. "Oh, my God."

"What?" Colby pressed gently. "You think of something?"

"Not work," he said, still sounding shocked. "Last week, I spent a couple of days testifying in a criminal trial. Open court."

Colby was nodding slowly. "What kind of case?"

"Child abuse." He couldn't bring himself to elaborate; just thinking about the details made him want to be sick. "I was the one who called 911, so I was asked to testify. The day Carolyn disappeared was the second and last day of my testimony for this case; I was really drained from an especially rough cross, that's why I called her. But there were multiple people involved in this case, it's not my first time taking the stand about what I saw. Oh, God," he said again. "And I wouldn't have noticed someone watching me because everyone was watching me."

"It's not your fault." Alex rose from her seat to stand beside him, placing a hand on his shoulder. "If they did tail you to find her, they were clearly waiting for any possible opportunity."

"She's right," Colby added. "Someone who goes to that level of trouble would have just found another way."

"Who's the ADA on the case?" Alex asked, hoping to focus him away from guilt. "Maybe they noticed something."

"Um, Barba. Rafael Barba."

"Okay, we'll talk to him." Alex squeezed his shoulder gently. "Hang in there, Mike. We're doing everything we can."

In case anyone couldn't guess, Zach and Charlie knowing each other was pretty much always a plan for this story. The similarities between Mike Logan and Colby Granger, however, are almost entirely incidental, just things I thought of as I was writing the chapter.

The scene with Alex, Cho, and Don was basically an excuse for me to explain the Mentalist and Numb3rs characters for any readers not familiar with those shows. Cho's mention of a time where Jane was right and kept them from doing something they'd regret is mainly a reference to the episode Nothing Gold Can Stay, where Jane talks down several suspects that the team was ready to kill; I always thought that in that scene, he was the one in the right.

The mention of Alex's captain and partner (Deakins and Goren) getting on the wrong side of the police department are references to the episodes My Good Name and Amends respectively.

Please review!