The morning didn't come quickly enough. Estelle stayed asleep until the earliest of rays of sunshine poked through the curtains. The light was soft against her eyelids that had eventually started drooping more than normal just as the sun made its appearance. What she wouldn't do for a few more hours but she knew she needed to get out. Her shift at the Garrison didn't start till much later in the day and since no one else was up just yet careful not to make noise Estelle slipped on clothes, finding Arthur's room empty she quickly slipped out of the house and into God's.

The church was eerily quiet that morning. Every step Estelle's modest heels echoed telling the church mice of her presence.

Crossing her hand making the cross Estelle sat in the second row. Estelle wasn't sure what to do. What to pray for. What to cry about. What to hope for.

When her mother passed she had found comfort in coming to church occasionally with Polly. Polly had always said, even if you don't believe it's a quiet place to feel. While the elder woman never went religiously Estelle when she came with Polly she always felt at ease and could release her shoulders upon entry. The tension usually eased when she walked in but this time it was different.

Her heart was heavy, so many things had happened in the days between visits that Estelle burst into tears.

"God tell me what to do, how to forgive because I say I do but I'm still so angry, God please" Estelle cried out as she bowed her head, tear drops dropped off her cheeks and onto her skirt.

Waiting for God to answer and receiving no verbalized one Estelle begged God one more time deciding if he didn't reply she would leave and go to the next best thing, Ada, "Please God"

"I've been called many things but I've never heard someone refer to me as God or say please", his voice was airy and almost playful as he sat behind Estelle just off to the side. The church pew creaked under his weight. The priest hadn't even made an appearance yet leading Estelle to believe they were the only two in the house of worship.

"Get out Tommy" Estelle didn't even want to turn around and see him, but she couldn't help herself. She had to see his face, the face that plagued her thoughts constantly since the end o the war.

"Only God can kick me of here love", He quipped earning himself an eyeroll that he couldn't see in the dark church light. A few of the candle in the church died out and cast shadows on Estelle's face but highlighted Tommy's. His eyes glowed in the candle light.

"Why are you 'ere?"

"I ain't going to say this twice but I'm sorry I 'alled you a whore"

"Lying in the house of God Mr. Shelby?" Her voice was soft and teasing but underneath her cold blue eyes were dull ready for another disappointment, another lie.

"Its Mr Shelby now?" Huffing in disapproval he continued, "I don't believe but no I'm not lying to ya, I'm saying it here… because I know ya do believe and you'll believe me" Tommy said as he looked down shoving his hands in his pockets. His cold demeanor was cracking in her presence, his desire to have her believe him was surprising to Estelle. Eyebrows went shooting up as she pulled her bottom lip between her teeth chewing on it as she cocked her body to look back at him in disbelief and utter annoyance at him knowing her so well.

"You've never been fond of me but now you act like I've wronged you, I ain't. Why? So if you're gonna be honest with me, if you ain't lying about be sorry, answer my question, prove it"

His coldness may be melting but hers was hardening. Pursing her lips together she swallowed hard as she lifted her chin willing her eyes not to let their waters fall freely once again.

Yet her eyes were red and puffy giving away her weakness that she fought so hard to uphold,

"Jealous, I want what Arthur has so I'm fuckin jealous! Alright, you happy?" Tommy shouted his hands flying out of his pockets to jerk in front of him standing up from the pew.

"Jealous of what? Him being older? His mustache? Arthur having more responsibility than you in the business? None of which have to do with me, why you act like you can't stand me!" She whisper shouted, she just couldn't believe, but she was in the house of God and as a want to be good Catholic she knew not to raise her voice.

"Jealous he has you, has you in his fuckin arms, makin ya laugh, the kisses you put on his cheek, I'm jealous of him because you love him!" Tommy on the other hand full blown shouted, wanting the heavens to know and to get his reasoning for such behavior to get through to her.

"I love him like a father", Estelle wasn't following, her brows furrowed as she shook her head furiously her hair fanning out as her head went left to right.

"I… I-fucking hell… I don't want you to love me like a father" Tommy declared stepping around the pew to stand in hers. At first his hand reached down to thumb away her tear that eventually escaped her overflowing eyes completely overwhelmed with everything finally coming out but then his lips found hers and her body was up pulled against his firm front. A hand wrapped around to the back of her head and another around her waist holding her flush against him.

His lips were soft against hers as they pressed against her slightly a gasped lips. The hand behind her head angled her face to give him more access as Tommy let his tongue slip across her bottom lip.

It wasn't until his tongue sought entrance that Estelle's mind caught up to what was happening. Small hands found his neck one on either side. Her mouth opened granted him entrance as his hand around her waist held her tighter against him.

After a few moments of exploring one another's mouth they broke apart, Estelle lowered her heels to the ground, unsure of when she even went up on them.

When their lips separated their gazed slowly met, Tommy's eyes opened first and he watched Estelle lower herself as her eyes peeled slowly open to meet him. A pink flush on her cheeks and the blue in her eyes seemed more vibrant that ever. The coldness she had been trying to put up cake crashing down.

"Tommy..." Estelle started to say unsure of what she was supposed to say after that though so she let her voice trail off.

"I'm jealous because I want you, I fancy you Estelle" Tommy said matter of factly, his cold blue eyes grew lighter as he admitted his feelings to the object of his affection.

"Am I a passing fancy?" Estelle's voice quivered as the words came out. Her heart held so much hope, her eyes brightened in hopes of her fairy tale answer.

Tommy's moth fluttered open for half a second before it shut right his lips forming a pressed line.

"I should be going to work" Estelle said nodding in understanding at what he couldn't verbalize.

She was a passing fancy. He had called her a whore. Why did she ever think he would see her as someone equal, someone he wanted to grow old with? They both lived in the same house, lived similar lives, loved the same people but they wouldn't love each other the same.

Her desires did not match his and so she took her leave. Scooping up her coat off of the pew she exited opposite of Tommy letting her slow strides give nothing away about had badly she wanted to run. Run away. Run away from Tommy and away from his omission.

Tommy stayed, throwing his cap off on the pew in frustration once he heard the Church door shut. Estelle was gone and Tommy was left in the house of God.

Estelle's shift went relatively smooth, one bar fight happened but it wasn't too much out of the ordinary. Some drunken man had bumped into another and didn't apologize. It had ended as quickly as it started and Harry didn't even care it was such a small fight.

Some new girl had started working in the pub that morning. Estelle gave a questioning look to Harry when he introduced them.

"Estelle this is Grace, show her around, she's new" Harry had said as he quickly walked away not enjoying the skeptical look being thrown his way,

"It's nice to meet you Elise" The blonde had greeted with a smile but the shake was too soft giving away her past about working in a bar in Dublin. Estelle's hands weren't rough by any means, but compared to Grace's smooth, undamaged and delicate hands she knew the girl was lying.

"Estelle, my name is Estelle, Greta" Estelle had casually corrected throwing in a different name for Grace. Usually she wouldn't have been so cold but she was in such a sour mood the words came out of her mouth without a second of hesitance. Before the girl could reply Estelle swiftly moved past her and back to serving the patrons. Grace hadn't bothered her the rest of the day but when the Shelby boys slipped into the snug without saying a word to Estelle Grace was the one to serve them their bottle of rum.

It had been Tommy that ordered a bottle of rum and Estelle couldn't help but notice as Grace smoothed her hair and wiped her brow before she went to give him the bottle requested. Estelle managed to seek a few glances at the man without him giving any indication that he noticed but then again it was Thomas Shelby, he had eyes in the back of his head at all times.

He said something to Grace that made her shut those doors sharply but Estelle was glad someone else was tired of his games today, it made her feel slightly more validated in her own anger towards him. She was no fool. Estelle knew exactly what the Shelby's did, hell she helped them in the betting deans she knew what was going on. She supported it. Estelle just didn't think that their line, theirs and her own, line of business excused them of not being any more upfront and honest with their feelings in regards to matters of the heart. Accepting such fleeting and unstable answers about their intentions when it came to love Estelle wasn't about to bet on them.

About halfway through her shift Estelle was so fed up with Grace's ability to work and not eavesdrop on people's conversations that she told Harry she needed a smoke break and stepped outside the side door of the Garrison.

"Before ya stalk off let me say this, everyone's been too willin' to make me happy today, tellin' me what I want to hear, I know you're angry with me and be honest, thus me askin' you" His voice was clear and refined, his posture was confident, his head cocked down with his signature cigarette in between his lips as he leaned on the side of the Garrison. Not expecting to find him out here Estelle asked why he was there, how he knew she'd gone for a smoke break.

"I was leaving the front went I saw you make for the back meaning you either were going to one of those bedrooms which I knew wasn't happenin' or you were coming out here"

Satisfied with Tommy's answer she asked him what he wanted.

"Your assiatnce in picking a race horse"

Flicking her own cigarette Estelle inspected the man in front of her, it was clear he was coming at this from a business perspective. He knew her ability to read people and horses, she was always able to read people's intentions and horses' abilities. It was her few gifts, not good with math or in school, couldn't cook or bake but could read you like an open book. That is, anyone other than Thomas Shelby, the rest of the clan she could read like directions simple and direct but not Tommy.

She laughed as him before realizing he was serious, "Is Arthur going?"

"Not if you don't want him to" He was still being considerate Estelle mentally noted wondering what that meant after her sort of rejection.

"Why not Ada? Ada would be brutally honest too"

"You know the most about horses" He offered flicking his cigarette to the ground stomping it out. No argument there, Estelle had always read about horses in school and had even rode a few horses a couple of times back when she was a young girl. When working as a mother's helper for a few years when she was about ten the father had a horse had let her care of the horse in exchange for a few riding lessons. While the lessons had been anything for formal or coming from someone who was prestigious but the man knew about breeding winning race horses she had learned their behavior.

She watched a few people pass as the seconds ticked on before replying. Her answer was immediately yes when he asked but her thoughts kept going to what it would be like to ride on the horse with Tommy. What his body would feel like against her back keeping her close. She needed a second to squash those thoughts in her mind before she allowed herself to get anywhere with him and a horse. She wouldn't have her desires dashed all in one day.

"I'll go" Estelle resigned as she un folded her arms turning to go in.

Tommy smirked as he turned to leave, obviously pleased with how he negotiated and persuaded her coming, "I'm not going for ya, I'm going for Arthur" Estelle informed him her hand on the handle, his smirk dropped and he nodded in understanding.