Estelle was silent trying to process her friend's words, "Is everything okay Essie?"
The use of her familiar nickname made her throat close. She wasn't sure how to answer without breaking down, everything was just so confusing Estelle and it was hurting her head. Nodding numblessly she glanced at Ada's glass. It was still full, the same glass she had been nursing all night.
"Yes of course, just trying to sort some things out is all" Shrugging Estelle tried to release her shoulders that she could feel crawling up to her neck.
"I see ya stuck in ya head Estelle, you're allowed to live and to take chances on ya self, take after ya brother and take a chance. Take a chance on yourself Estelle, you deserve to go after what makes ya happy"
"Life's for chances, not cowering" Estelle repeated the mantra her brother William always said. Ada's eyes sympathized with her friend but didn't comment further on her brother.
"Now who is this about?" Ada pressed as she looked at her friend, Estelle couldn't stand being under her watchful gaze letting her eyes find Grace behind the bar.
"No one, just dreams" Estelle convinced her friend as she thanked her for her advice and took her leave before Ada could wiggle the name out of her. After speaking with Ada Estelle was more confused than she had hoped to be. She needed some air, the one drink she had was going straight to her head and making her bad headache worse. She had said things she had only thought , never verbalized and it was scaring her how much she wanted to confide in her friend.
She grabbed her coat and tried to make her way for the door but before she got there Arthur snagged her elbow. Realizing who it was Estelle greeted him, "Hi!"
"Hi my little girl" Arthur slurred out.
"You're drunk" Estelle observer chuckling as she let herself be pulled into a side hug. Wrapping both her arms around him, his taller stature made him look down at her as she just tried to feel like she had before. Before she had finally admitted her feelings for Tommy.
"What's bothering you love? I promise ya I ain't drunk only two drinks-"
"I'm fine Arthur, I just- I'm just tired is all" Tommy could be seen across the room laughing with some Peaky Blinders, he looked nothing like Estelle had seen when he came back from putting the horse down only hours before. He looked like he was having a good time, laughing hearing and drinking.
"Do you wanna go home? Oi! Come here-" Arthur yelled to the nearest Peaky Blinder who came shuffling over. Her silence had indicated something she didn't want.
"No it's fine, ya wanna just get air with me?" Estelle asked shooing the Peaky Blinder away after mouthing never mind not needing an escort anymore. The man stepped back away nodding to Arthur as he went respectfully leaving them alone.
"Sure love" Wrapping her coat around her tighter Arthur guided her to the bar door and into the cold brisk air away from the clinking of glasses and drunken laughter.
"Your face seems to be healing nicely" Estelle commented as she paced away from the building. It was true his cuts were starting to heal, whatever Ada had put on them did him good.
"Can't wreck this money maker" laughing at himself Arthur leaned against Garrison. The lights from the windows lit Estelle's face as she stood opposite him leaving him in the shadows. The cold bricks pushed against Arthur's his back farther against it so his head fell back.
The wind whistled passed them encouraging Estelle to speak, "I missed the meeting, do I get to know what our plan is? For retaliation against the copper?"
"Aye, Tommy thinks if we play patriots and make a scene that the Churchill would like less than what we're really doing he'll tell the copper to fuck off" his hands slipped out of his pockets as he rubbed them against each other trying to make friction.
"What kind of scene?"
"Something about burning the pictures of the King so he doesn't have to see what he's doing to our poor patriots" Arthur's hands stopped their rubbing as he gestured about.
"Wow, that's an idea" Estelle murmured as she thought about it further, "But how would the news even get to Churchill?"
"No bloody clue, Tommy said he'd think out it eh? Does lot of bloody thinkin' he does"
"Ought to get a reporter to write about it, make it public or something"
"Oi! You've got a right brain ya do Essie, I'll bring it up to Tom, it's happening tomorrow"
Estelle hummed back, mentally making a note of it.
"I can read ya like a book if I read books Essie, whats really goin' on?"
"I think somethin' is gonnin' on with Ada" Her fingers twirled against each other as she paced back and fourth in front of Arthur. While her own issues plagued her mind she was also equally concerned for her friend.
"What do you mean?" Arthur swiftly pushed off the building and closed the gap between Estelle and him holding his hands on her shoulders keeping her in one place. Estelle saw fear in Arthur's eyes as he quickly shook her slightly before looking intently in her own.
"I think, now listen I'm only saying I think… but I think she's pregnant" Estelle's voice was hushed as her eyes darted to the Garrison door as if she was scared someone was going to come out.
"What-" Arthur started to shout but Estelle cut him off.
"Arthur please! You can't say anything, Arthur please, not until I know for sure-"
"Who's the fucking farther? Tell me at least that!"
"I don't know, I only know I found iron pills under her pillow, lots of them, too many. She's sippin' that single drink like its last thing to drink in Birmingham and wearin' loose fitting dresses. Its been nearly three weeks, I ain't know what to do-" Estelle was nearly in tears as her hands clutched Arthur's lapels of his coat. The fabric beneath stood no chance as it's smooth flatness was ruined under Estelle's hardened white knuckles.
"I'll speak with Polly in the morning she'll know what to do" Arthur's face was red with furry. The lines on his forehead deepened before he groaned and cussed at the wind.
"You're not going to do anything stupid are you?" Estelle asked hoping for an honest answer.
"I won't, alright? Bloody bloke needs to step up-"
"Promise?" Her pinky stuck out to Arthur, tiny in comparison Estelle's was soon connected with Arthurs as he agreed. After forcing Arthur to calm down before he went back in Estelle walked home.
Lying awake most of the night Estelle waited for Ada to come home but she couldn't keep her eyes open long enough. When Estelle woke she saw Ada sleeping peacefully on her bed full dressed in the clothes she wore before, obviously too tired from the night before to change out of them. Her friend wasn't even under sheets rather just laid across the bed, her shoes were in a little pile at the end of the bed's foot. Estelle noticed they had a little mud on them. Feeling overwhelmed with concern Estelle knew she needed to collect her thoughts before saying anything to Ada and decided to start her day instead of interrogation.
The next day Estelle was at the bar relatively early, there was quiet the mess from the night before to get started on. Sweeping and wiping down tables Estelle heard the door open. The sound of heels gave away who it was before Estelle even had to turn around.
"You don't work today, why are ya here?" Estelle asked, her voice didn't hold any tension but keeping her back to the woman told her irritation for her.
"I came to talk to ya"
"Why? Why Grace, what would you possibly need to talk to me bout?"
"I need a dress" With anyone else directness and honesty would have been something that attracted Estelle to people, what made them suitable friends but not in this case. Far from it.
"Do I look like a dress maker to you?" Estelle asked swirling around to face the blonde who looked for the first time since she had meet her, nervous.
"No but I bet ya know a dressmaker, a nice one" Grace said as she uncrossed her arms.
"I do" Estelle answered, she wasn't going to give the satisfaction of Grace being able to get the information out of her without her outright asking for it.
"Tommy asked me to go to the races with him-"
"I was there I know" Estelle muttered as she walked to the bar with a tray full of used bar glasses. She set about washing them as Grace continued.
"And! He asked me to wear red last night, I don't have anything red, so I need a dress"
"That's nice" Estelle started humming as she washed sensing her stress level rising at the mention of Tommy asking her to wear something for him.
"Would ya be so kind of suggest a dress shop?"
"Wow never thought ya ask"
Estelle had just finished writing down the name and address of a decent dress shop when Tommy himself walked in.
"Ladies" he said slowly as he came up to the bar snagged a bottle of something and called after himself as he made his way to the snug, "Estelle a word"
From his body language and his quick entrance it was safe to assume he wasn't planning on seeing both Grace and Estelle when he walked in to the Garrison.
"Here ya go Grace, tell Henrietta I sent ya and she'll take care of it" Estelle said suddenly feeling flustered as she handed over the slip.
Feeling it coming loose Estelle redid her apron she was wearing and started to the snug as Grace left.
"Yes?" She peaked her head in the door, Tommy motioned for her to sit. Sitting down opposite him she watched him as he poured himself a glass downing it all in one swallow.
"Where is she?" His voice was low as he sat forward his forearms flat on the table. His eyes were cold as they bore into Estelle's.
"I promise I told her a decent dress shop! She just left her ya could catch her if ya walked fast?" Estelle asked sitting back more than a little confused.
"Ada! Not fuckin Grace! Where is Ada?" Standing up Tommy knocked the glass over as he stood. Reaching out Estelle steadied the glass before looking up to Tommy who was fuming.
"I don't know, left before she was up this morning, why?"
"Ya know why! Now tell me where is she!" Tommy screamed, shrinking back from holding the glass Estelle turned her face away from Tommy towards the window.
"Your guess is as good as mine" She countered raising her voice a little as she wrung her hands together on the table.
"What's your fuckin guess then Estelle!" Picking up the glass he chucked it against the wall where Estelle kept her gaze. Gasping at the impact of small shards on her face Estelle stood.
The impact of the glass didn't break her skin but there were shards of glass caught in her hair. Both of their eyes darted down to the pieces in her hair surrounding her face.
"I won't tell ya unless ya calm down! I don't want Ada to have to deal with ya like this it ain't fair, she deserves to be happy about it if she wants ya know!" Estelle shouted back finding her voice.
Her heart was pounding so fast in her chest she swore that it echoed in the room. Small fists were made at her side as she stood her ground, she felt her stature shrinking as Tommy took a step in her personal space.
"Do you know who the father is?" His voice was softer but still held danger in it threatening to let loose again if he felt she was lying. This was the Tommy that made men cower in the streets letting him walk by, the appearance of calm but underneath was something deadly.
"Only had suspicions she was, clearly I'm right otherwise you wouldn't be here yellin bout it in ma face so no I don't know and I'm not sure I would even tell ya if I did" Estelle spoke lifting her chin trying to show she was honest and being firm in what she said.
"I'll ask one more time, where is she?" Tilting his chin down his cheek bones cut her with danger and intensity. His face was dangerous but his hand came to brush out the glass in her hair, it felt equally dangerous to Estelle who sucked a breath in holding it tight in her lungs.
"I would guess the theatre-wait Tommy I have to work lemme go!" Estelle shouted the last part as she suddenly felt herself being pulled from the snug and out into the streets only to be shoved in the car.
"I pity Grace, having to go anywhere with ya if that's how ya treat women now"
"Talk later about that too"
"Once I finally get a job outside of the business why is it ya lot keep dragging me more and more back in? Huh?" Estelle vented out loud as she pouted in the car.
With no coat, wet sleeves from washing the mugs and her apron still on having no time to take it off before her unexpected exit from the Garrison Estelle felt cold, and very much a fool as the car pulled up to the theatre. From the amount of cars parked outside it seemed to be a decently busy time.
"Stay here"
"Ya bring me only to make me stay in the car? Is that what we're doing now Mr. Shelby?" Estelle frustratedly called after him as he dashed into the theatre throwing the doors open after him.
It was a cold five minutes until Tommy came back out. He found Estelle bouncing her knee and biting her nails when he opened the car door. Tommy couldn't help but notice how anxious she looked, it was a wonder that someone could look so anxious and fragile could be living with the Shelby's and surviving for the most part in the Peaky Blinder's world.
"She needs you, ya have ten minutes get going" Tommy knocked his cigarette case getting one out as he opened the door of the car letting Estelle tumble out and run inside in search of her friend. She didn't need to ask what happened, she knew it was most likely had involved yelling and tears more than likely just on Adas side.
Following the trail of people who were exiting one of theaters Estelle ran down the isle until she found the only person.
"Ada" gasped out Estelle, her friend immediately got up and ran to hug her as she wept in her arms. It was clear that Ada had put up a brave from from Tommy as the tears were fresh and poured as if they had been brewing for too long.
"I love him Ada, I'm keeping the baby, I want to be happy!"
"I know I know, everything is going to be okay" Estelle murmured unto her friends hair as they sunk to the floor holding each other tight.
"Who is it Ada?" Estelle was almost too afraid to ask while she had her suspicions she still wanted to hear her say it.
"Freddie… Freddie Thorne"
When Estelle reappeared looking drained, her eyes were a duller blue and her cheeks were stained with the course of her tears.
The Shelby man was leaning against the car smoking what appeared to be his last cigarette as he banged his case against his palm but nothing came out.
Sliding in the front seat Estelle asked Tommy what he was going to do.
"I have no fuckin clue"
"Please don't take her happiness away, she loves him, don't we all deserve a chance at happiness with someone we hold dear?" It sounded like a prayer as she slouched forward cupping her head in her hands.
Tommy didn't respond unsure of what to say, he had calmed down since he first left but he still wanted to put fucking Freddie Throne in the cut but he heard Estelle. Heard but not listened, he needed to hash it out with Polly. She would have the most experience in the options.
But the words kept ringing in his ears, don't we all deserve a chance at happiness with someone we hold dear?
The ride was silent as they pulled up to the Garrison. Everyone was dealing with their own emotions and trying to find a path what seemed like a very complicated situation.
It was still empty as the bar hadn't officially opened yet so Estelle was in no rush to get out of the car. Taking a deep breath in for what seemed like confidence she spoke softly her hand on the handle as she looked over her shoulder at Tommy, "Not everyone is afraid of their feelings Tommy, don't make Ada afraid of her own" fleeing the car and it's silence Estelle made it to the front door.
Tommy let her words simmer in his mind as she went back to Watery Lane to the business but also to talk to Polly about the situation at hand.
It was dark when Estelle finished at the Garrison. It was a slow but steady night, many people had simply stopped in for a pint and then off to the fire.
The fire that Tommy had started.
Arthur had told Estelle about the pictures of the King being burned in order to draw attention to what the copper was doing to Birmingham and it's patriot citizens in hopes of Churchill yanking on the mans leash.
Finn had even snuck into the bar undetected at first to steal the King's picture off the Garrison wall. It wasn't until he stood on the bar itself to reach it Estelle noticed him. She had told him to be careful and reached up as she herself had to climb on the bar to reach the picture getting it down for him.
She didn't plan on staying long at the burning only enough to talk to one of the Shelby's before going back to their house just to know what she was going to walk into, screaming about Ada's love affair and impending baby or what.
Coming up on the burning Estelle could see the fire was large, nearly taking up more than half the street. Whatever chills she had felt before quickly went away as the heat from the flames warmed her so. Walking among the people and the various Peaky Blinders Estelle found Arthur first.
Arthur had his arm around some Peaky Blinder boy when Estelle came right up under his other.
Startled but not surprised by who it was Arthur kissed her hair, "How was work love? Anybody bother ya?"
"Nah nothing really happen too much" she replied leaning into him. Arthur has kept quiet about her working at the Garrison but it wouldn't stop him from worrying about the "type of men" that were patrons there. It was a nice way to show he cared but Estelle thought it was funny as she didn't see any of them as bad men just the normal type of men.
"Alright nothing to see here now get on get going!" Arthur said noticing the Peaky Blinder boy was watching Estelle a little too close for his liking, shoving him away with the arm that was once around his shoulder the boy stumbled away.
"Arthur that wasn't nice"
"I ain't nice" Arthur coughed out as he took a swig of a bottle Estelle wasn't even aware he was holding.
"Careful there buddy" Estelle teased tipping the bottle back down with her hand on the butt of it as it came up to Arthur's lips again.
Glancing down at Estelle Arthur pulled the bottle from his lips and threw it in the fire. Without warning the fire boomed a little at the liquor being thrown in. Estelle wasn't the only one startled as she seized closer to Arthur at the abrupt increase in flames.
Watching the flames Estelle found Tommy's eyes threw them. He was talking to some man Estelle hadn't seen before, someone who looked anxious.
"Arth, who's Tommy with?" Estelle asked turned her face to ask as she kept her eyes glued to Tommy.
"Ah I told em ya idea bout the reporter, that's the man I suppose, guess he thought it smart" Arthur shrugged as he clocked eyes with Tommy who threw him a head nod.
The two fell into silence as they both watched the interaction between Tommy and the reporter.
"Arthur, am I going to be walking into a war zone?"
"What?"
"At the house? With everything going on with Ada? I noticed she ain't here"
"Oh um I don't know you'd have to ask Tommy, last I knew two of em were yelling at each other in the kitchen"
"Oi" Estelle muttered in frustration shaking her head as she cast her gaze into the fire.
People were still coming with their paintings of the King tossing them in. The fire crackled and popped. The crowd was thick as Estelle made her way through the crowd to where tommy stood after telling Arthur she'd see him at home once she had talked to Tommy about Ada.
It wasn't a lie, she had wanted to talk to Tommy about Ada but she also kept hearing the words that hung in the back of her own mind. What did Tommy mean when he had said they'd talk later about that too? About her snide remark about Grace? About the fact that he had invited Grace not her to the races right there in front of em? Whatever it was Estelle wanted to know.
Weaving between Blinders and on lookers Estelle came up to Tommy.
"Can we talk?" Estelle asked once she got close enough to him. Tommy looked at her through droopy eyelids, taking one final drag of his cigarette he tossed it to the fire.
Motioning with his head to one the cars parked a few feet back but still lit by the flames Estelle went to get in knowing they'd need privacy for their conversation.
Sliding into the drivers side shutting the door Tommy asked, "what is it ya wanted to talk about?"
"Two things, one being what's going on with your comment of we'll talk later about this too, and the other what's going on with Ada" her words came out fast and squashed together in almost hope he wouldn't hear the first thing. At first she had looked at Tommy in his face when she spoke but when his eyebrows shot up and an amused look coated his regularly hardened demeanor Estelle watched the flames.
The seat was cold beneath her as she heard Tommy sigh.
"Estelle there's something's I'm still figuring out"
"What is there to figure out you know what you're doing, you're Thomas Shelby"
"When I invited Grace in front of ya it wasn't personal" Tommy tried to explain but once the words left his mouth he knew it wasn't true.
"Wasn't personal?" Estelle spat, her dark waves fanned out as she snapped her head to glare at him, "how was that not personal? Ya literally asked later if I was jealous!"
Estelle's hands gripped the seat on either side of her with frustration. Her knuckles were white from gripping them so hard, if she had cared in the moment she would have stopped before her nails dig into the leather seats imprinting their presence. The flames burned bright but the ones in Estelle's eyes burned out.
"That was rash I'll admit but I'm only using her for business, I figured it out. I wanted ya to know that" Tommy said sternly as he inched toward her on the seat. He noted her grip on the seat and let his hand wander from his own lap to the seat. It was the one thing Estelle did when she was stressed, whatever she could grip tightly she did as if hoping putting the tension in her hands would take it away some how.
As if memorized he watched as his own fingers grazed hers. Her fingers were stiff on the seat but her skin was so soft and delicate ivory skin. He barely got his pinky to dance over hers...
"This isn't fair Tommy, ya know how I feel..." Estelle spoke as she pulled her hand away from the encroaching hand. The hand she wanted desperately to hold.
"No I don't, ya never told me ya just left" his words bit her heart, it hadn't occurred to her that perhaps he didn't really really know.
"I can't-" her voice came out as broken crack.
"Why can't ya say it?" Tommy asked abruptly. A crackle from the fire mirrored the crack in Estelles strong facade.
"Because ya don't feel the same, I ain't makin a fool of myself falling for a man who doesn't feel the same, Tommy. Ya toying with me and while I may be a fool for saying I like you so doesn't mean ya get to be intentionally puttin' the knife in deeper" Tommy could see her eyes glistened with I shed tears.
"What if I was to take the knife out?" Tommy asked his eyes were flickering over every part of Estelle's face as if trying to read blue eyes to blue eyes.
"Are you saying you're going to kill me?" Estelle was confused as she was scared. She shifted up straighter.
"What? No! I meant tell ya I realized you aren't a passing fancy" Tommy said as he realized that Estelle's hands had at some point relaxed from gripped the seat he reached for it again. Scooping it between his hands Tommy looked at them, her soft pale one between his fit so well as if it was made to be.
"How did ya figure that out?" The pursed lips and tilting of her head away from him gave away her suspicions.
"When I asked Grace to the races, it felt wrong and as if I was betraying ya. Then I thought about ya with another man and I couldn't even put a face to em but I knew I would cut em" It was a sight to see as Tommy dipped his head and looked up at Estelle from under his lashes. His words held danger but his eyes showed her he was opening up, his face relaxed as he breathed out.
"Oh" Was all Estelle could gasp out as Tommy dipped his head a little more moving forward he caught Estelle's lips. Cupping her cheek in his hand Thomas' lips pressed against hers, melding their lips together as their bodies pressed against each other. Tommy felt her small fingers coming to graze his chin making Tommy smile into the kiss. Estelle hummed into Tommy's mouth as he pulled her by her waist to him.
Just as Tommy was about to deepen their embrace someone knocked on the glass behind him. Tap tap tap. Both of their heads snapped to the noise eyes wide as they took in who it was.
Arthur. It was fuckin Arthur.
Tommy was the first one out car talking to Arthur who seemed to be yelling. Estelle froze her hands still in the air when she saw Arthur. Her mouth hung open. Frozen as if staying still would tell her mind what to do or to say. Blinking rapidly Estelle tried to tell her brain to do something, anything.
It couldn't been a second later that Estelle was out of the car, nearly knocking shoulders with Tommy as she tripped out into the dark.
"Just lemme explain!" Estelle nearly gasped out as her hands splayed out in front of her as if trying to stop an impending fist fight.
"Why didn't ya tell me this was happening? Huh?" Arthur threw out lowly, even in the dark fire lit street it was clear everyone's eyes that were at the crowd were on them.
"Oh fuck off! All of ya!" Tommy screamed stepped through Estelle and Arthur to address the crow that quickly dispersed. The fire still burned brightly despite the different mood as Tommy turned back, Estelle as standing on the step up on the car as Arthur fists at his side stood with his body facing the both of them.
"Why didn't ya tell me?" Arthur demanded to know as he threw his hand to the ground. The anger rolled off of Arthur in waves almost as hot as the fire.
"It just happened, I would have told you-"
"Ya didn't even tell me ya were interested in Tommy, you're supposed to be my little girl, I'm pose to know you" Arthur said his hands came up to wring his face in utter disbelief. Scoffing more to himself than anything Tommy took a cigarette out of his pocket taking one out for himself as he handed the other to Arthur.
"I didn't want ya to be mad or think wrong of me, besides it ain't like I didn't know it wasn't one sided" Estelle breathed out her chest falling and rising quickly as she tried to steady her heart beat.
In the darkness outside the burning pile's reaches it was starting to get cold as the only sounds filled the air were crackling of wood. Estelle shuddered in the dark, it was in this moment that everything she knew or wanted could change. Snatching the cigarette offered to him from Tommys fingers Arthur went to speak but he closed mouth as if unsure what to say in response.
It was a few drags later that pulled on Estelle's heart strings before Arthur spoke, "I'm bloody happy for ya but I don't know which one to threaten, my brother or ma little girl. Guess I'll just hurt ya both if this goes sideways, mostly ya Tommy"
Estelle watched as Arthur's hands relaxed as he shook Tommy's hand in a silent agreement that he approved.
"Bout time ya got ya self a woman tho Tommy, Polly was really starting to worry bout ya"
"That went a lot better than I expected" Tommy said a little smile danced across his face as he watched Estelle's reaction.
"Really?" Clearly Estelle was expecting a different reaction to her stand in father figure. She couldn't help hide the shock in her voice as it went up a few octaves.
"Love listen, I guess ya can err go with Tommy, just don't go about getting pregnant on ya first time eh?"
"Arthur!" Estelle exclaimed mortified pulling her hands to cover her face attempting to hide what most likely a very deep red blushing.
Tommy chuckled at her embarrassment but stopped once Estelle threw a glare his way throwing his hands up playfully in defeat.
"At least this will put to rest the rumors of you and Arthur" Tommy chuckled as he walked over to Estelle tugging her down from the step up and into his arms. He was surprised about how naturally taking her into her arms felt and hummed we he felt her rest into him embrace.
With him wrapped around her Estelle twisted until she faced Arthur still secure in Tommy's arms, "Guess no more shoulder rubs for you, apparently I'm a spoken for woman" She chuckled joined by her men. The light hearted humor helped everyone take one final breath of relief at the way the situation turned out.
"But" Estelle continued, "going back to the topic of pregnancy, how is Ada and what's going on? What kind of damage control do I need to do?"