Part 6

Amelia

"I don't think I can do this," Arizona says, nervously.

We're standing outside the hospital's daycare centre. She glances between the window into the safest room in the building and the twins. She's utterly terrified at the idea of leaving them. I can't say I wasn't expecting this. She's spent every single day with them since they were born. And, with her anxiety being the way it has, we were bound to encounter some obstacles today – her first day back at work.

Since the twins started sleeping through the night, her mental health has been so much better. I mean, why wouldn't it be? She actually gets chance to sleep now and her thoughts are so much clearer. She just loves them so intensely that I don't think she'll ever not worry. That's normal as a parent. I feel it, too. Constantly. I guess the difference is that I'm used to having to come to work without them.

"Listen," I start, calmly. "The first day is always the hardest," I reassure her. I know the thing that's really going to help her is knowing that the people in charge of our sons today are capable of caring for them properly. "There's three members of staff watching ten children and they're the youngest so they'll be prioritised. They will be absolutely fine."

"I feel like I'm leaving them," my wife responds, sadly.

"I know. I felt the same when I first came back," I admit, taking her hand in mine. "It's hard, and it's horrible… But, it gets easier."

She's not convinced. She holds tightly onto my hand, but still looks nervously at Arlo and Theo, who, completely unaware of their Mommy's uneasiness, are happily laughing at one another in their buggy. A few quiet moments pass before I feel as though I need to say something. She'll never be able to do this without a little push.

"Honey, they can't go into surgery with you," I remind her, gently.

"I know," she sighs out. She looks at me with complete helplessness, and utters: "I don't know what to do. If something happened whilst they were here, I just… I wouldn't be able to forgive myself."

Then it hits me. Naturally, her anxiety has catastrophised what could happen. Now I realise that everything bad that's ever happened in these hallways will be reeling through her head. The explosions, the escaped psych patients, the shootings… I grit my teeth, feeling painfully sad for my wife. I stand behind her and wrap my arms around her waist, resting my chin on her shoulder as she turns her attention back to the daycare, probably looking for any hazards.

"I know a lot goes on here. But, the children have always been safe, right?" I try, comfortingly. "The staff here are great. If something bad were to happen, it wouldn't affect the children." I'm met with silence. I can tell she's chewing her lip, deep in thought. She just needs a little something extra to convince her that this is a good idea. "How about we drop them off and I'll check up on them in an hour, after my consults?"

She sighs out in defeat.

"Okay…" She whispers.

"Okay?" I smile, kind of impressed with myself that I've managed to get her to agree to this.

"Yeah," she half-smiles back. "I… I don't think I can do it yet…" She says, pointing to the room. "Would you…?"

"Yeah, of course," I reply, taking the buggy from her.

She crouches down opposite them with tears in her eyes. She kisses their little cheeks and holds them both close to her for a few seconds.

"I love you. I'll see you later," she tells them, bravely.

"Come on, guys, let's see what's in here…" I say, enthusiastically as I take them away.

Arizona

I wish I could be as brave as Amelia. She's incredible with them. I feel like she's the parent who's found the right balance of panicking just the right amount and knowing when to let them go. Thank God they've got her because I'm just a nervous wreck most of the time.

I watch as she wheels them into the room before unbuckling them and handing them over to one of the daycare assistants. I watch carefully for Theo's reaction. Arlo is generally fine with new people. He's a people-pleaser. He smiles and tries his best to communicate through nonsense babbling. Theo is always more cautious, but after a minute or two usually follows his older brother's lead.

The woman looks comfortable holding them. Not everyone does with two babies. She coos over them and sits them in an area that looks suitable as Amelia talks her through what they need. Arlo is already showing off his dimples, giggling at the new person's funny faces. Theo is watching attentively. He's not upset but not smiling yet. He's curious. He looks at Arlo and then the assistant. I see a half-smile and he soon picks up one of the building blocks and tries to give it to the lady. He's ready to play. That went more smoothly than I expected.

"Okay, you ready?" I hear Amelia's voice next to me. I didn't even realise she was back out here.

"Yeah," I smile, still unsure. She wraps one arm around my waist as we walk down the corridor.

"They're going to be fine," she reassures me, picking up on my edginess. "I'm so proud of you."

"I was just thinking the same about you," I say, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. "Thank you for guiding me through this."

Amelia

After all this time, and everything we've been through together, I can't quite believe how adorable I still find my wife. As we wait for the elevator, I leave a delicate kiss on her cheek and I'm rewarded with her beautiful smile.

The elevator dings and the doors open. We're the only two in here until an intruding hand stops the doors from closing completely. The doors re-open to reveal a hurried Callie Torres.

"Morning," Arizona smiles, politely.

"Welcome back, Dr Robbins," Torres says with a cheesy grin. "You look great!"

"Is that sarcasm?" She asks, with a raised eyebrow. She does look tired. But, amazing as always.

"No, really!" Callie insists, her back now turned to us as she presses the button for her floor. "Not many people could spend nine months caring for two babies then come back looking like a supermodel."

My eyebrows shoot to my hairline and I can't quite hold back my words.

"Hey, Torres! I've been married to this woman for over three years now. Do you think maybe you could lay off the flirting a little?"

"I'm not flirting, I'm just pointing it out!" She defends herself with a shrug. "Nothing wrong with emphasising the strength and beauty of a fellow female doctor."

"Uh huh," I reply unconvinced, my eyes automatically narrowing in her direction. Arizona nudges me and smirks at my jealousy. The look on her face tells me she's finding this whole situation hilarious.

…

Arizona

"I can't believe you left me with these idiots," Karev grunts, genuinely annoyed I'd taken any maternity leave at all.

"Sorry, Alex!" I say, sarcastically. I bounce the little baby that's in my arms and soften my voice right down so as not to disturb her contentment. "I was kind of busy raising two perfect tiny humans, yes I was." She gurgles at me and grabs my finger tightly. Judging by the size of her, she's a little older than my boys, but is struggling to keep herself steady. "What's going on with this little one?"

"Seizures… A lot of them. But, I can't figure it out," he sighs out, frustrated. "CT's clear. MRI's clear. I've carried out so many tests, but there's nothing obvious."

"Well, I could spend today looking into it," I suggest. "I've mostly just got consults and appointments to arrange next week's surgeries."

"Great! Here's her chart. Good luck!" He says with little hope.

As Karev walks down the corridor to his next patient, I turn my attention back to the little one in my arms. She's not making any noise, but looking at me as though she's trying to figure out what just happened.

"Don't listen to him. He's just a cranky guy. Yes, he is."

…

I've been surrounded by research for the past hour and I'm no closer to finding out what's happening to this little girl. I sigh out and look across at her in the cot, kicking her legs and starting to fuss a little. Naturally, I walk over to her and pick her up to ease her upset.

"It's okay, Isla. You're okay," I say, comfortingly. She stops fussing but doesn't look impressed. Maybe she's just kind of bored. "You wanna play 'drop the baby'? Huh?" I ask, enthusiastically. "Ready… Woah!" I say, as I dip us both down, pretending to nearly let her go. This earns me a little smile. After a couple more 'drops', she's laughing hysterically and I'm laughing along with her.

"Arizona?"

I freeze, stopping the game and turning my head, immediately recognising the voice. It sends goosebumps down my entire spine.

I know her. I know her well. Because, ten years ago, I gave birth to her child.

"Ellie?"