The lovely mricj and I were toying around with a dancer AU, with Eva and Neil in various set ups: rival dancers, coach-student, etc. I haven't though about it much since writing this snippit but it's definitely found a home in my plotbunny stable.
Is it wrong? To choose, occasionally, songs that remind him of her voice? She said she approves of whatever motivates him, and he doesn't dare play those songs in front of her. If she knew…
Well. He doesn't let himself think about that.
Sometimes he pretends he's dancing with her, or alongside her. Energy speeds through him from the thought of her fingers brushing his collarbone; imagining her palms on his back lends a wild power to his jumps; his steps become more fluid as his visualizes lifting her, fingers curving over her hipbones.
(He never indulges his wants after a routine. Only in bed, at night, when he can say her name out loud, when he can pretend it has nothing to do with his job.)
It doesn't matter where his inspiration comes from, only that he does something useful with it. She can't tell the difference.
But there are some times when he meets her gaze after a routine, and he glimpses a crack in her posture, a glitch in her expression. And he wonders if she can see it. And for a wrenching moment he wants to lay himself bare, to hell with the consequences… but the fear is stronger.
He wants her to know. He wants her to reach in and drag it free from him. Maybe one of them will find their voice, but for now…
"Again."
She's watching.