Dawn barely broke when her eyes opened. In her nightgown and a shawl, she rushed barefoot down to the study, not sure if it had all been true. The squeak of the door as she opened and closed it behind her made his eyes open. Though the room was barely lit she could almost sense a warm smile from him. Awkwardness flushed her. What on earth had possessed her to come down before putting her dress on, or at least a wrapper? she wondered.
"Come, Scarlett, sit by me. I must have dozed off yesterday."
She shoved aside the thoughts of propriety and her thin attire and sat next to him. The proximity was strange. Other than her father, she had never been close enough to a man to catch his scent in the early hours. She leaned on his shoulder, trembling for a second.
"Put your feet here" He covered her with the blanket and pulled her closer "I thought I saw a river last night as I was coming in. Is there a river here? "
"Sure, the Flint river. We used to fish and swim there as girls. Once Pa held me in the middle of the river and let go of me to make me paddle on my own." She laughed at the memory.
"-Did it work"?
"Mother of Mercy, no, at least not at first. I nearly drowned and Mother was so mad at him. Sue ran off to tell her. Though it did not stop him from doing it again. till I swam like a fish. Or a frog, depends depending on who you ask! though Enough about me, why you haven't told me anything about your adventures?"
"Does it really interest you, at this early hour of the day? " He asked, lifting her chin up to face him.
"Would you be surprised if I told you that in the early hours of the day I think of you? At night I am too tired and nerved nervous to think. But when I wake up, at least until Wade gets in bed with me, I have some time to be. That is when I think of you. I did not know if you worried about whether you were wounded, alive or dead. So much had happened between us, and well, how could I not think of you?"
"Were you sorry for what happened?" He asked this question in a low voice not lowering keeping his eyes from on her.
"What on earth for?" She pondered for a second and realization flushed her, "I guess I ought to be. But no. No, I dare say I wasn't sorry. And even if I burn in hell for this, I am not sorry. Should I be?" She asked that with a hint of a smile that surprised them both.
His arms went around her, but she pulled away "Don't. I should go dress. The whole house will be up soon. Pa, Melly, Wade and of course, Mammy. And I have to go down to the fields, as there are still some rows that we haven't finished picking. A poor crop, but something to base next year on."
With a blast of courage, she added, just before shutting the door behind her "I hope you were not too sorry ".
On At the breakfast table she found her siblings, Melanie without but no Rhett. Melanie lifted her pale face towards herScarlett with a genuine smile – " Did you have a good night's sleep my dear? The dear Captain has just gone outside to talk to our visitors and suggest they should help out some before leaving. I do believe that with the help of these men you and your sisters can stay inside for once."
Silently, Scarlett sat beside near the head of the table beside the place once reserved for her mother, with silence. Melanie tactfully asked nothing and with tactfulness that Scarlett was grateful that Melanie chatted to Suellen and Carreen. Melanie told the girls about Rhett and his blockade running days, and of his visits to Aunt Pittypat's house on Peachtree Street. Her sisters were thrilled when they heard of the Atlanta bazaar. Melanie skipped the details of the timing or the scandal that Scarlett's dance with Rhett had caused.
"Did he really bid for you with one hundred and fifty dollars in gold to dance with you?" asked Careen in a timid voice.
"I most certainly did, and would have raised it even farther paid more if anyone had tried to outbid me. It must have been my dreadful reputation that deterred anyone from approaching your sister that day, at least when I bid for her dances."
His quiet entrance seemed to have startled all but Scarlett who laughed at his remark and smiled widely at him.
"You do run on, Rhett! It might also have had to do something with the fact that I was still wearing black and in mourning for dear Charlie. I dare say my consent to the dance did cause some ill-talk of me later on."
Her two sisters looked amazed at the ease that Scarlett discussed misbehavior, and even more so when Melanie uttered with evident disapproval "Old peahens! What do they know? Come, Captain Butler, do sit next to Scarlett and join us for breakfast. I am afraid I got a little carried away with these stories."
All three sisters raised their heads when Rhett sat at Ellen O'Hara's sit seat. Scarlett shifted in her seat, but the sight of the tall tanned bearded man in her mother's seat did not offend her emotions as she may have expected it to. In fact, it was almost soothing to see his wide shoulders at the head of the table. She smiled at her younger sister with reassurance and put a hand on his Rhett's arm as she asked, "May I pour you a glass cup of tea? I am afraid that this herbal tea is the best that we can come up with these days."
After breakfast, past Suellen and Careen decided to go calling on their neighbors, at taking the rare opportunity of no field work for the day. Melanie took Wade and Beau to play at the back yard. The two Rhett and Scarlett were left in the dining room.
"May I kiss you?" he asked
"On the cheek, like a good friend" She answered with a sweet smile.
"Is that what I am?" He looked at her quizzically.
"I don't know. What are you, Rhett?"
"Indeed", she thought, "what was he? In all these months of expectation she simply wished for him to be safe, and when the soldiers started passing through Tara on their way home, she was looking for him. Each passing by stranger was another disappointment. What was he then? But he kept to his silence silent. She raised her eyes with a determined look and as he uttered no word, she spoke with some firmness in her tone -
"To be frank, Rhett, I haven't quite figured out, yet, what you are, so I asked you. You once told me that you appreciated my telling you what I think and what I feel. You are not my husband, nor am I your mistress. I guess you being alive and here, and me being grateful for both, is all I know for now."
"What do you want me to be?"
"Want? Wanting is a luxury that breaks one's heart, these days."
"Is that so? No, I find it hard to believe that the gorgeous girl who I saw in a shawl this morning has lost her spirit. I will leave your cheek be, at the moment and await a better opportunity to kiss you, that is when you have gathered enough courage to want it. And no, Scarlett, I was not sorry."
Was he angry? She couldn't quite understand his reaction. Has she not told him that she was thrilled at his mere existence?
"Thank Goodness for that!" She exclaimed "I would have truly been disappointed if the man who told me of the merits of courage as an alternate for a reputation had developed social standards. Especially after I followed your lead and chose to disregard them completely. But before you offend question my courage, and Heaven knows that the last months have tested it, has been tried often enough, why don't you tell me what am I to you? And bear in mind that both my father and mammy may step in here at any time."
His laughter was soft.
"Your Irish temper has not lost its charm, my love. And I dare say my love, for that is what you were and still are, or have you forgotten?"
A Million thanks to R for her great editing. Pls. R&R A bit stuck on the next chapter