Kyle's POV
What do you do when you feel the whole world turns against you and you're not quick enough to dodge the punches? I don't fucking know but I could really use some answers.
Stan showing up at the door was the last thing I expect that day. If this was some cliché fairy tale, two old friends reuniting after separation, we should be hitting it off like nothing happened.
Well tough luck, Kyle. Life ain't a fucking fairy tale, things have been weird now that there's a new member in the house.
I wake up to see a head of raven hair at the dining table and I have to remember that this is our new housemate. He's been trying to talk to me about the most random things, like when did I get my car, how is South Park and stuff like that.
He's been acting civil but I can't help but worry when he's going to blow up at me, just like he almost did that night at Styx.
I've noticed that we don't get along as well as we used to, he tends to make a lot of noises thanks to his late night recordings and my lack of sleep and constant studying doesn't help that same temper that's gotten me in so much trouble since I was a kid.
Not to mention that he's been in his room a lot of the time, sometimes I catch him with this blank look in his eyes. Was he like this when he was living in Denver?
I've noticed a few extra things in the house, bottles to be exact. We only buy beers in the house for sports nights and the trash bag for them had gotten heavier, much heavier since he moved in. So when I find a half bottle of Whiskey under the couch cushions, I have my suspicions on what's going on.
I go up to his room to confront him, I need answers. I knock on his door and he opens the door with a dazed tired expression, "Stan, is this yours?"
He takes a moment to focus on me and the bottle I have in my hand, eyeing the bottle he asks me in a cautious yet forceful tone, "Where did you find that?"
"Answer me Stan, have you been drinking still?"
"Yes." He answers me like he just gave me the answer to 1+1. "It helps me stop seeing the world as shit. I told you this before."
"When we were 10. Stan, you've been drinking all this time?!" I almost shout at him in disbelief. "How could you do that to yourself?"
"Kyle, it's the only thing that helps. You think therapy and all that crap actually works?" He says cynically and I'm just left in gasps.
"YES!" I start shouting. I don't care who hears me now, I'm way too upset to give a fuck. "It helps, retorting to this… Stan, you're gonna get addicted to this crap, we're 18! You're gonna turn into a fucking achly before you're even legal. You told me that you didn't want to be like your dad."
"Well you were too fucking late for that!" I'm a little taken back as he starts shouting. "Where were you when I was dealing with my parents' divorce? Where were you when I was stuck in Denver, miserable from not only dealing with this shit but from that fact that my whole life just ripped itself apart and you weren't there?! You had the chance to and you left me for Cartman! This-" He shoves the bottle in my face, the amber liquid swirling around in it disgustingly. "- was the only thing that made waking up in the morning bearable."
…
I knew it.
He's still mad about that, all that polite crap was just an act. I can't blame him, but goddammit it still hurts.
"You're right. I'm sorry." I apologize with a stoic tone, trying to hide my shameful whimpers as he slams the door in my face.
I should have known, and worst of all his cynicism are still there too, just as strong as I remember it. I go back to my room and think about this. What do I do now? Even if we become friends again, can I put up with his problems again?
Of course I can…
I should be able to.
That's why I wanted to be a psychiatrist, to help my friends with their issues. But bearing with it is one thing, can I stand by him as a friend this time? To not abandon him again and to stick with him?
My mind is straining from having the inner battle of the century. I want to say yes, I can stay with him this time but at the same time, I can't convince myself enough to win.
Stan's POV
The following days are uncomfortable to say the least. Kenny has been practically welcomed me with open arms. Tweek's still a little jittery around me, probably due to our first reintroduction. And Kyle, god Kyle.
The one reason why I'm doing this is making it his personal mission to see me as little as possible. I'm frustrated, no, frustrated doesn't even begin to sum up my annoyance to this. What did I do to deserve this? I didn't do anything wrong.
Ok, blowing up at him that night probably wasn't the smartest thing to do to the person you want to make amends with. It started happening again, it's been happening more often and I've been having writer's block because of it.
I have been drinking more to make it stop, but I guess I didn't cover my tracks well enough. Kyle found one of my bottles and started confronting me with those judgmental eyes that reminded me so much of Wendy that I just fought back. But last I check, nothing I said was wrong.
He did abandoned me for Cartman, he did leave me because I couldn't stop seeing the world as shit, and I did risked my neck out to save him and Tweek.
But that doesn't make me feel better about how we're acting now.
Now, I'm just lying in bed, rethinking everything that led to this moment, this pathetic scenario of living with one of the most important person in my life and him not wanting anything to do with me.
I toss and turn in displeasure when I hear beeping coming from outside, I cover myself with a pillow in a miserable attempt to drown out the noise. It seemed to work in cartoons, but then again this isn't a cartoon. I get up drowsily and open the door, trying to see what cause the beeping.
Then, I see Kyle's door open, he's walking over to the windowsill where the beeping is. It seems to be a small alarm clock. He opens the cabinet below the windowsill and pulls out a candle in a small glass jar which looks similar to the one lit on the windowsill, only the one there's almost out.
He blows out the dying candle and replaces it with the fresh one, his hands clamped together in a prayer as he lights it. I walk out quietly and only when I'm next to him does he notice me.
"What's the candle for?"
"It's for Charlie." He answers me with his eyes closed, still praying.
"Oh, she's still out there. Isn't she?"
"Yeah."
"She's a tough kid, she'll pull through."
…
"She'll make it, Kyle." I reassure him. "I know she will."
"Thanks… Sorry if my alarm woke you up."
"It's fine Kyle."
He doesn't say anything more, I take this chance to apologize before that fight I started does any permanent damage.
"I'm sorry about that day, I know you're just looking out for me." He nods to acknowledge that he heard me but keeps his head down in an attempt to hide his face. I relax when I see a small hidden smile appear on his face.
"Night, Stan." I hear his soft response, he whispers as if he's worried he'll wake everyone up if he goes a decibel higher.
"Good night." I mirror his expression as I walk back into my room.
Well, that was…something. That's the first real conversation I've had with him since I moved in. It's weird but it kinda makes me feel secured, like everything can be ok again. I forgot that talking with Kyle can do that, even if it's small stuff. I'm glad that we had that and I'm glad that I can be there for him.
I start smiling at the thought as I lay on my bed, allowing sleep take me into a peaceful dream.
A/N: There's your feelgood chapter, loves. Not as beefy as the last chapter but I really liked writing this one. They haven't made up yet but they're starting to feel more comfortable around each other. Next time, we follow the boys as we go back to drama.
The title is from one of the songs in the 'It's Okay That's Love' OST. Feel free to listen to it while reading, it's one of the songs in the list I love.
I just finished this chapter and I couldn't wait to get this out to you guys. There will still be a chapter out on Friday. It's a rare occasion so don't expect out-of-schedule chapters often.
As always if you like the story, check out the drama it's based on, 'It's Okay That's Love' by SBS.
Take care, Loves