Deserving

AN: Fair warning, the characterization in this particular story might not be everyone's cup of tea. It's not a Jaune or Yang that is shown prominently in the show, rather something akin to what I think might have happened if the direction of the earlier seasons took another turn.

"GODDAMMIT!"

The harsh, angry yell that came from team JNPR's dorm room was almost startling enough for Yang to stumble out of her chair and as she heard the only slightly less loud crash that came moments later, a deep frown made it onto her features. She didn't need to look behind her to know that the rest of her team was starting at the door of their room; or, more specifically, the direction the sounds were coming from. It was basically impossible to ignore, especially for her, knowing who it was that was making so much noise.

She spared a glance towards her team, taking in all their different expressions as they sat on their respective beds: Blake's look of silent, but still sad resignation, Weiss' slowly cracking indifference, and finally Ruby's blatant sadness and worry. None of them really needed to say anything since they were all too aware of what was going on just across the hall to their dorm.

Jaune was angry. Very angry.

It wasn't the first time, nor would it be the last most likely, but it was definitely more explosive than usual, a fact that made listening to it all the more unpleasant. Sadly, Yang knew he had plenty of reason to be upset.

Both his team along with team RWBY had returned from their joint mission to the Speartip mountains just hours ago and said return had sadly been far from glorious. The moment their bullhead had docked, both Pyrrha and Ren had been rushed to the infirmary with a swarm of medical personnel surrounding them, Nora following shortly thereafter on her own. Both her and Jaune were mostly unharmed, but the same could not be said for their partners. Ren had a large gash running along the entirety of his right side that was gruesome enough that not even Yang could look at without feeling a sinking feeling in her gut, while Pyrrha's right leg looked less like a limb and more like a mangled tree branch.

The two teams had been attacked by an absolutely frenzied Deathstalker from out of nowhere while they had been pulling down their camp and thanks to the surprise it had been able to strike Ren with its claws along with crushing Pyrrha's leg with its stinger before anyone had had the opportunity to react. Their auras had mitigated what it could, but bones had still been broken and things had been dire to say the least. It was only thanks to Weiss mending Ren's side with her ice as best she could that kept him from bleeding to death, along with Jaune and Blake cutting off the blood flow to Pyrrha's leg with Blake's ribbon, stopping the Deathstalker's poison from spreading further throughout the Spartan's body and killing her right then and there.

Even with two men down, together the rest of them had been able to kill the Deathstalker without any more grievous injuries being suffered, but once the Grimm had been felled, they hadn't exactly had the opportunity to celebrate.

Even before they'd gotten onto the bullhead taking them back to Beacon, Yang had been able to see that Jaune had already begun to blame himself in his head. How it had been his fault she couldn't figure out back then, but now, after hearing his yelling, she had gotten a much clearer picture. To him, it all came to one thing; negligence on his part.

With a grunt and her frown shifting into a look of determination, Yang got out of her seat and walked over to the door leading out into the hall between her team's room and Jaune's.

"I'm… gonna try to talk to him..." she said almost solemnly before exiting the room, not interested in hearing any reply her team might have right about now.

Her burst of purpose and resolve lasted for a grand total of five seconds before she was just standing silently in the hall, unable to bring herself to do much more than listen to the only slightly muffled sounds of Jaune berating everything about himself and the choices he'd made in his life.

Yang knew that neither Pyrrha, Ren, Nora, or anyone in her own team blamed him for what had happened, but telling him that wouldn't change anything. Not now. She knew as much from experience.

Another angry scream could be heard and right now Yang wished that she could just rip her heart out of her chest for a while to stop it from hurting. It always hurt her knowing that Jaune viewed himself in this way, but it became infinitely worse now thanks to how clearly she could make out his words. In his mind, everything that had happened had been because of him.

Pyrrha had been the first one to tell her about Jaune's low opinion of himself. She should have been able to figure it out on her own before then, but a part of her had just firmly believed—maybe hoped—that his offhand comments about his worth and importance in the world were just jokes at his own expense.

That was rarely the case, however, which is exactly what Pyrrha had explained to her. Beneath Jaune's outward appearance of a silly but still increasingly competent leader laid a vast chasm of self doubt. He could take compliments and tirades such as the one happening now were, thankfully, not a daily thing, but if something went wrong, especially if it had consequences that affected people other than himself, then he would torture himself either mentally or sometimes even physically. To call it unhealthy was the understatement of the century, but stopping him from doing it was no small feat and despite Pyrrha's best efforts, it wasn't something that could be easily repaired. Yang had done what she could after she'd found out just what Jaune's opinion on himself was, but rarely, if ever, did it turn out to be anything beyond a temporary fix.

He'd cheated his way into Beacon to find any way to be more like the heroes his family was built upon, as far as Yang had understood, desperate to live up to their legacy, but now that he was here, any shortcoming only made him see himself as more of a liability to those around him.

Once, Yang had overheard him mumbling about going so far as to turn himself in to the authorities so that his teammates could get an actual leader. It was a depressing combination of almost egomania and nonexistent self esteem, as he could connect practically any mistake that happened to either of their teams to his own inabilities.

With her knuckles turning white from how hard she was clenching them, she leaned her forehead against the wall next to team JNPR's door. Jaune had seemingly gone quiet for a moment, but she still didn't know what she could do or say that would actually help him right about now. This wasn't exactly a problem she could pummel to the ground after all and none of the techniques that she'd relied on when helping Ruby with her thoughts while they were growing up had any effect on this kind of emotional issue.

It made Yang feel useless in a way and she hated the feeling almost as much as she hated the knowledge that the boy she cared about valued himself so poorly.

He wasn't the strongest fighter and had certainly had moments when he'd legitimately screwed up, but he was still far from worthless. She'd seen how kindhearted he was, how much he cared about the people around him, how fast he'd grown since coming to Beacon, and she knew that he wanted nothing more than to help people. He was her silly, cute, caring knight, and above all else, he never failed to make her happy. It was what she loved the most about him.

Now, though, he was hurting—hurting himself—and Yang couldn't figure out how to make it stop.

After another moment of silence from JNPR's room, Yang was just about to head back to her team when her ears perked up and she heard something collide with the opposite side of the wall her head was against. She didn't need to wonder what it could have been either, as the sound repeated four more times and she caught the more distinct grunt of pain that followed. The thing that had hit the wall was Jaune's forehead, she realized.

Though it was somewhat faint, Yang could hear that he was talking to himself on the other side of the wall, and that she could actually make it out this time.

"… they could have died… all because of you… you could have killed them… killed her..." she heard him say, voice hoarse from his earlier screaming.

It took most, if not all of Yang's self control to keep her from barging into the room and pulling Jaune into her arms. At this point, it wouldn't do anything to make him feel better and in the end he'd just see himself as more of a burden on the rest of them. Again, she knew from experience...

"You don't deserve her… you don't deserve any of them… Yang shouldn't have to bother with a failure like you..."

…

Yang had heard Jaune say many things since she'd seen him throw up on that airship way back when they first made their way to Beacon. Plenty of said things had been what she'd consider stupid. Some were stupid in a funny and goofy way while others were just idiotic and had made her wonder if he really should be at the school. This, however, was neither of those things.

She'd started moving seemingly before her brain had sent the command to her legs, ripping open team JNPR's door with enough force for it to bounce closed behind her while she made her way towards Jaune. Though she didn't know it herself at the moment, her normally violet eyes were practically glowing red; an angry, blood red crimson that was only made more noticeable against the blazing shine that her brilliant hair had taken on. It was as if the very sun had suddenly appeared around her, casting a golden glow upon the knight that stood in her path.

Yang had always had a somewhat volatile temper and certain things definitely didn't have to try hard to set her off, something that coupled well with her semblance when actually fighting, but since she'd fallen in love with Jaune, there was one thing that would make her practically explode at a moment's notice.

She absolutely refused to let people suggest Jaune wasn't 'good enough' for her. Especially not Jaune himself. Anyone who did needed to pay.

The knight practically had no time to react as Yang's hands were on the collar of his hoodie in a flash, shoving him against the wall both of them had been leaning against only seconds ago.

"You don't get to decide that!" she shouted right into Jaune's completely stunned face, the two of them close enough for their noses to touch. "No one is allowed to say who deserves me! You got that! The only person who can decide that is me!"

Yang's entire body was practically shaking from all the emotions running through her system, everything she'd bottled up until now regarding this whole ordeal they'd gone through crashing down on her like an avalanche. And it wasn't only fury.

"I won't let you say those things, Jaune. I never will," she continued, voice lowering as her eyes started to sting. The hurt and sadness were starting to dull her fiery rage, everything she'd wanted to say to Jaune coming out at once. "Only I get to make the choice about whether or not you 'deserve' me, just like how youare the only one who decides whether or not I deserve you… I love you, Jaune, and I won't allow anyone to try to suggest otherwise, you hear me? Especially not you..."

By the end of her tirade, Yang's voice was low enough that Jaune was the only person who could hear it, regardless of how hard anyone listening in on the racket coming from team JNPR's dorm tried.

Her eyes were still the angry red from before when she let go of Jaune's shirt and instead pulled him into her arms, holding him as closely and tightly as she could.

At this point, Yang really couldn't tell if anything she'd said would have any long term effects on Jaune's head, it was just one short moment after all against possibly more than a decade of self loathing, but at the very least she'd gotten him to stop attacking himself. She knew that much was certain when his own arms found themselves around her midsection and he started hugging her back, some of his tension slipping away, if only slightly.

It wasn't a breakthrough, but it was something. Maybe even a start. And at the moment, Yang knew that she couldn't ask for more.

AN: This was a lot more draining for than you might think just reading it in terms of emotions, but it's done and I think it's as good as I can make it at the moment. To bounce back from this dip into serious-town, something lighthearted will probably be in order. Silly and stupid ideas/suggestions are very welcome.