Naoki has lost count of the number of times he's heard the word "Todai" in the past month. From his teachers, his classmates, his parents, Mr. Aihara, his brother, Kotoko, even one overly invested shop owner. He's tired of it. He doesn't understand why everyone is so taken with the idea of college, but more than that he doesn't understand why the mere mention of higher education sets him on edge lately. Some time around his ninth birthday he'd made peace with the expectation that he would go to Todai, graduate, marry the perfect girl, and eventually go on inherit his father's company. Lately though, that future feels less like something he's ready to accept. Maybe because it's so terrifyingly close to becoming his reality. The path in front of him is clearly marked and now all he has to do is take it. The only problem is he's not sure he wants to. He feels suffocated.
On the morning of the entrance exam he considers pretending he overslept or merely forgot about it all together, but he doesn't get the chance. His mother is at his bedside obscenely early with her camera in hand, ready to document the moment. Which, apparently, means pictures of him half-asleep and blinded by flash. He hollers at her to get out and she does, snapping more pictures and giggling as she goes. If his head wasn't already pounding it definitely would be now.
He rubs at the space between his eye socket and brow bone roughly with the base of his palms before throwing the covers back and sitting up. If he can't get out of it he can at least get it over with.
Yuki, who had smartly pretended to sleep through the exchange with their mother, rolls over to look at his brother. He looks ready to say something but Naoki gives his a barely perceptible shake of his head and he decides better of it. Instead, Yuki returns an equal subdued nod and rolls back over, pulling the covers up over his shoulder and closing his eyes in hopes to get a few more minutes of rest. Unfortunately for Yuki, those few moments never come due to the unnecessarily rough nature in which Naoki is moving about the room, yanking open and slamming shut the drawers and closet to get his things. Yuki flinches at the final slam of the bedroom door as Naoki heads to the bathroom.
"Alright, guess I'll get up too," he grumbles.
By the time Naoki comes down for breakfast he's pulled himself together and is doing his absolute best to ignore the fact that literally everyone at the table is staring at him. He's less than halfway finished with his breakfast before he can't take it anymore and gets up to leave. Five set of chair legs scrape against the floor behind him. He ignores that too.
The fact that Kotoko follows him out the door isn't surprising. He lets her trail behind him for a while before calling her out. He could use something to distract him anyway.
They're about a third of the way into their walk toward the testing site when he notices her favoring one side. He turns to check on her several times but each time she just gives him a bright smile and waves him off. It's not until he notices her clutching her stomach that he finally asks what's wrong. She shakes her head vigorously and again assures him she's fine.
Period pain, he figures. It's the only reason he can think of that she would be hesitant to tell him about.
He looks her over again as they reach their destination. Her face is pale and a fine sheen of sweat covers her exposed skin despite the biting winter air. He asks again if she's okay and again she promises she is, smiling and wishing him luck. He considers staying but if his assumption is correct then he'd only be keeping her from going to buy pain meds by lingering. He's just made it across the street when he hears a scream and turns to see Kotoko crumpled on the ground.
His stomach drops.
He's honestly not even sure if he checks to make sure no car is coming before sprinting back across and all but shoving the woman huddled over Kotoko out of his way. He scoops her up into his arms and asks for the direction of the nearest hospital before taking off as quickly as his legs will carry him.
He's starting to panic, unsure the woman from before had given him proper instruction when an ambulance whizzes past and the hospital sign comes into view. He's exhausted, but instead of slowing down he starts walking faster.
He adjusts Kotoko's weight as he gets to the door of the hospital and a nurse rushes over to them with a wheelchair. Winded, he plops her down with less grace than he intended and bends over with his hands on his knees sucking in several shallow breaths, all while trying to answer the questions the nurse is throwing at him with as much accuracy as possible. His breathing is just returning to normal when they wheel Kotoko back past the double doors.
He's not usually one to fidget but he can't keep his leg from bouncing nervously as he sits in the waiting room. Annoyed at himself, he stands and shoves his hands in his pockets, willing his body to be as still as possible.
He can't believe that idiot.
She walked several miles in so much pain she was near passing out just to see him off to take a test. A test he didn't even want to take.
He's already planned a lengthy reprehension in his head with at least nine reasons she's the most infuriating person on the planet and he's working on a tenth when they call him up to the desk to give him a quick explanation of what's going on and let him know she's been moved to a room.
He thanks the nurse and asks to use the desk phone to make a call. After letting his mother know what's happened he heads toward Kotoko's room.
He could leave now. Her father is on his way and so are his parents, but despite the fact that he knows that she's going to be okay he has to see it for himself. The image of her lying on the ground, completely unresponsive, keeps playing on a loop in his head and he needs it to stop.
He doesn't bother knocking, just slides the door of her room open and gets ready to deliver the speech he'd prepared while in the waiting room, but when he steps inside he realizes she still hasn't come to.
He steps closer to the bed and looks her over. Her hair has been taken out of the childish style from earlier and is instead splayed out softly over her shoulders. Some color has returned to her cheeks and the moisture that he'd noticed on her skin is gone. She still looks small and vulnerable but less so than before. He tells himself the relief he feels is the same as it would be if it were anyone else, but part of him knows that's a lie.
She could have died.
He has the sudden urge to brush her hair away from her face, to hold her hand, to touch her in some way to confirm that she's still warm and breathing but he shoves his hands deeper into his pockets instead.
She's so stupid.
Who is going to take care of her if he goes to Todai? He'll be miles away and she'll be neglecting her health or tripping over her own two feet.
Idiot Kotoko.
His Kotoko.
It's the first time he's allowed himself to think of her that way. The thought has been creeping up on him more often lately but he's pushed it away, focusing on what he wants to do with his future instead. He realizes now that he'd failed miserably. No matter how much he'd thought about it everything kept circling back to her. Every time he'd imagined himself at university she had been there, causing trouble or making a scene, begging for his help passing one of her classes. He'd been factoring her in without even meaning to, justifying his annoyance with every mention of Todai with any other reason he could think of. They were all legitimate reasons, but it all boils down to just one. He doesn't want to go to university without her.
So, he won't.
It's oddly freeing to limit his options.
He checks his watch. Their parents should be getting here soon and he's confident in his decision but he's not ready to have that conversation just yet.
He looks at Kotoko. She's still lying there, sleeping peacefully with her soft features completely relaxed.
"How are you sleeping through the biggest decision I've ever made?" He mutters with a shake of his head.
As he slides the door open to leave he glances back at her one last time.
He'd wanted a distraction and true to her nature Kotoko had delivered excessively. Life will definitely be more interesting at Tonan.