Dark Stained Soul

by Eveythefirst

Alec travels to Edom to bring Magnus back. Something goes wrong and Jace must fix the parabati bond. Both learn that some things cannot be fixed with a wave of magic and a dose of medicine. And that love does not always stay the same.

3. Chapter 3

Dark Stained Soul

Chapter 3

By: Evey

6AM.

The vial of blood glinted in the predawn sunlight streaming in through his window. Jace turned it slowly in his hand to once again read the label.

Jace Herondale.

First that flash of heat prior to Alec nearly passing out. Then Jace had watched stunned when Alec had thrown himself out of bed with an energy that belied the state he had been in a moment ago, scrambling to inject something, followed by that blazing heat and passion.

Jace turned the vial over in his hand again, rubbing his face with the other. His mind felt numb from trying to process the events of the past few hours.

Jace had left Alec sleeping to take a shower and get changed. His own clothes having been soiled like a teen, even with Alec passed out that had been a cutting embarrassment to his pride. Yet whatever that release of heat and passion had been had finally eased the pulse and burn from his parabati rune slightly. He knew that meant something important. He also had no idea what the significance meant for either of them.

Damnit, Alec you aren't any better are you?

The fact Alec had just tried to inject himself with Jace's blood like some deranged vampire junkie proved as much. The heated passionate need he had exhibited still left Jace reeling hours later. Mind bouncing implications around like ping pong balls, none of which he could find a straight answer too.

He had barely slept. Instead he had sat drifting and staring at Alec's sleeping form, before returning to his own room with the vial. Staring at the blood filled vial until the letters had blurred together, blinking and staring again at those letters.

A pounding on his door roused him from his internal musings.

"Alec! I know you are in there! Come on I haven't even seen you since you got out!" Max's voice rang out far too loudly for this early in the morning.

Alec's little brother, of course.

Sighing to himself, he rolled over putting the vial in one of his dresser drawers. He would dispose of it later, once he figured out why Alec was so desperate to have it.

Pulling open his heavy oak door and stepping back to allow brown hair to come tumbling in, just as a cold realization hit him at the same moment.

He tracked Alec here.

Max was a tracker at heart, it's what he excelled in and now was taking specialized training for. Max tracked everyone just for fun half the time, other times just to ask a question. Tracking was second nature to Max, finding his older brother should be easy. Especially, since he was able to track down Jonathan and Alec together.

Only Alec was not here. He was sleeping in his own room across the hall.

"Uh. Where's Alec?" Max's confused voice, pitched into something lost at the end.

Only his brain was drawing a blank, frozen on repeat of the Silent Brothers words that had been turning over in his mind earlier.

"His soul rests in your parabati rune."

After a moments pause Jace managed to get his brain back on track.

Shit. Need to deflect this somehow.

"Sleeping. It's far too early Max." He frowned, hoping Max didn't voice the question he knew might come next.

"I know he's here. I thought…" Max looked around realizing Alec was in fact, not in the room. "…he was here."

Jace switched his stance to lean casually against the door, arms crossed. "He's across the hall." He nodded his head towards Alec's door. Where he knew a very naked Alec lay sleeping, probably still twisted in the sheets where he had passed out promptly.

Crap.

Too late, Max leapt across the hall, grabbing the brass door handle, turning it, shoving the heavy door with his smaller body, the heavy oak door didn't move.

Finally some karma on my side.

The door had been locked at some point after Jace had left, which meant at some point Alec had woken up in the night. A cold and warm feeling filtered through Jace as he realized Alec probably woke for one of two reasons- a lack of Jace or a lack of Jace's blood.

"So how was the great parabati reunion? You've been hogging him Jace." Izzy asked coming out of her room, fully dressed in a navy tight dress, sharp black heels, and perfect makeup.

His brain unhelpfully supplied him with the image of Alec last night, flushed and half out of it moaning from Jace's touch.

Jace wrenched his brain out of the gutter it had fallen into. Gave Izzy a roguish smile. "It was good."

Watched as Izzy's gaze turned predatory, a smirk creeping onto her face. "It was good?" She parroted back. "Did he recover from nearly passing out?"

Fuck.

The memory of Alec hungrily attacking his mouth tried to derail his ability to think.

"Yeah, we stayed up talking." His couldn't look at Izzy, eyes traveling instead to Alec's door.

Said door decided at that moment to swing open, revealing dark hair and muscles in a black shirt and pants.

Alec paused, dark eyes glancing between all of them, before swinging his gaze into Jace's. "Is there a reason we are holding a meeting in the middle of the hallway?"

Jace stared, there was none of the shaking he had seen in him last night. No strange heat growing in his parabati rune either and the marks he had bitten into Alec's neck were gone.

Probably an Iratze.

"Hey Alec! Can you train with me today? I haven't seen you since you were released." Max chimed in, ignoring the question entirely.

Alec's dark gaze held Jace's before dropping. He studied Alec as that gaze flickered over his body before snapping back up. Now there was a cold blaze hidden deep in those eyes, a blink and it was gone replaced with some blank emotion Jace couldn't read.

He's looking for it.

Well tough shit. Jace wasn't going to let Alec down that road, nor to wherever it lead.

"Yeah, I can train with you Max." Alec commented, barely glancing at his brother. Jace caught a muscle twitch in Alec's jaw, the strange staring contest continuing until Alec blinked ordering. "Jace, I need to talk to you. The rest of you get to your assignments."

"Barely out of lockup and already throwing orders around?" Jace couldn't help the challenge in his voice.

"Told you, he never changes. Stalwart warrior even against Edom. It is why they handed him the title of Head of the Institute and not you." Izzy defended her brother, checking her makeup again in a compact mirror.

"Orders you should be following. Jace, give it back. It's mine."

Your soul or your drug of choice?

"No. It has my name on it." Jace felt a smirk form enjoying being able to taunt Alec even if it was over something serious. However, his smirk dropped when Alec growled at him advancing toward him in two quick steps. He reflexively took a step back into his own room before squaring his shoulders so Alec couldn't enter.

Awareness of both Izzy and Max looking between the two of them trying to figure out where the animosity stemmed from drew forth Jace's cocky, self confidant side. He leaned into Alec so he could whisper low in his ear. "Let's make this quick. You worry about bright shiny things and less about something red."

He could see Alec clench his jaw tightly, hear the teeth grinding. "You have it all wrong."

Jace tried reaching Alec through the parabati bond again. The slow pulse and burn was still there, so were the icy razor edges.

"I don't think I do." He informed him, crossing his arms to put some distance between their bodies. Alec was way to close.

"I will tear this room apart. Go get it." Alec practically bit the words out while he pointed a hand into Jace's room.

"Jace, stop picking on him. He literally just healed. Give him a break before you start the pranks." Izzy reasoned from where she was still checking over her makeup.

"Fine. He gets it at the end of the day." Jace stated watching as the tension in Alec's body bled out.

Not giving it back to you ever.

There were obviously some lingering repercussions from having Edom's magic removed from his body. Now Jace was starting to wonder what that exactly entailed, the Silent Brother had said something about not allowing a relapse. His mind kept going over that vial and last night as he went through the motions of breakfast and training.

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

The white blue of the main map table in the Ops Center shown on Alec's face as he continued to scan his dark eyes across the map, noting each red dot indicating a recent demon attack. The attacks had increased since Edom was destroyed and no one knew if that was due to escaping demons fleeing Edom or a new hellish realm opening up a rift within New York. Maryse returning him to his normal role as quickly as possible had been both a surprise as well as a dose of reality. Their numbers were thinned from too much strife within the Clave, each other, and the demons they were all supposed to be rallied against.

We'll drive ourselves to extinction if this keeps up.

Strangely, both Lydia and Maryse had continued his operation to bring in more Downworlders as deputies. Their discussion earlier with Lucian had gone surprisingly well. Yet, Alicante still balked at his plan and he had yet to break into that political plain. Granted his recent success at single handily destroying Edom and two greater demons, not to mention any others that had been trapped within Edom as it burnt itself up, had increased his clout with Alicante. They still seemed to hold a distrust for him due to his entanglement with Magnus.

Past entanglement.

Red flickered across his vision and he turned his head searching for it. Nothing was there.

Magnus brought back the strange thought that he was supposed to be in love with the warlock. He glanced at Maryse across from him as she continued to scan the map as well trying to determine a pattern.

Suppose to love my mother too.

Yet, all he had felt was a strange detachment for everyone but Jace. He had the memories of everyone and how he interacted with them, but he no longer could bring forth the emotions that came with them. Instead there was a darkness in him whispering for something.

"Magnus was sent out this morning while you were busy training Max and Izzy. He'll review the location Jace and Isabelle uncovered the other day and inform us if he can handle that rogue warlock or if he requires Shadowhunters to track it down." Maryse's sharp voice cut across the table but lacked the blade it normally carried.

Alec's brown eyes flickered over to her, noting two new runes etched on one arm, before his eyes dropped back to the map landing on a spot holding red.

"The demons have a pattern, it's a swirl and originates from here." His eyes shifted from the spot to another slightly to the north pointing at it with a finger before tracing the pattern with his hand, stopping before he completed it.

"I'll assign two people to begin research into what pattern the demons are trying to recreate. We do not need another Lilith damaging the leylines or worse." Maryse acknowledged.

He felt the thrum through the wards of a portal activating within the Institute. Closing his eyes he tried to reach for it. Could remember the aftertaste of the red burning power.

Blue, electric, hints of red.

Opening his eyes, he zoomed the map in to another recent demon attack. "What did the team say about this attack last night?" He questioned Maryse.

"Some drevaks and kuri, still an infestation requiring a warlock to burn them out."

Annoying nasty little lesser demons that looked like grubs and spiders, just a lot larger and with venom and teeth.

"I'm here." Magnus announced as he strode in confidently, expensive suit and shiny blue shirt, he came to an abrupt halt spotting Alec. "They actually released you?" Pain lanced through his words before a mask dropped over his face concealing the pain Alec had seen flash across briefly.

"Yeah. The Silent Brother said I can return to my duties provided I stay inside the Institute until you finish the charm. Speaking of, when will that be complete?" Alec matter-of-factly stated, bringing his arms behind his back, spine straightening.

"In a few days at most. It's the most I can do for your choice to destroy Edom. I did always say you would blow up the very ground you stood on to make something right. And in true Shadowhunter fashion you did and tried to martyr yourself in the process." Magnus reached out as if he would touch him before drawing back, taking a breath. "If Jace stays by your side you could technically go outside the Institute now. I just would not push it."

"My choice, destroyed an entire realm of demons. It was a victory." Alec snapped irritated suddenly.

There he could almost see it, the blue and red magic within Magnus. Luring him to reach out and take it.

"A hollow victory. I lost you." Magnus sadly informed him.

"And what of your report on the warlock lair Jace and Isabelle discovered?" Maryse interjected before the discussion became awkward in the middle of the Ops Center, she appeared slightly uncomfortable to be standing there.

Alec clinically thought he could not really blame her. A few weeks ago he had been engaged and in love with Magnus, now he felt nothing but a hunger for the magic underneath.

Control it.

Magnus seemed to gather some internal energy before addressing Maryse. "That is not a warlock lair. I, honestly, do not know what it is aside from something from Edom. The chrysalis at the center housed something like a greater demon considering the thickness of the shell casing. I tried tracking whatever came out of it and came up empty. Whatever it is, is blocking me."

"Do you think it ties into all the other demon attacks?" Alec questioned tracking his eyes across the map before flickering to monitor Magnus and Maryse.

"Doubtful, that was more of a stasis chrysalis than a breeding ground. Whatever crawled out was hurt from the escape from Edom, it slaughtered all of those vampires and humans to recuperate."

"So it had help." Maryse commented.

"Yeah it had help. I think there may be two greater demons running amok somewhere in New York."

"Magnus how easy is it for a possession to take hold in his current state?" Maryse questioned.

Magnus's eyes glittered gold as he inspected Alec. Alec shifted uncomfortably aware of that stare, curious just what he could uncover with that demonic golden gaze.

"I would prefer if he waited until I have the amulet prepared to go on a mission. Would be better for him to take the offer Brother Zachariah offered."

"That was not the question. How easy is it?" She demanded.

Magnus sighed, shoulders dropping slightly. "They would need to physically touch him or travel in through a cut or orifice." Magnus grimaced still inspecting Alec's body. Alec felt tension forming in his shoulders as red flickered through one eye.

Angel, stop looking at me like that.

"Good. Alec you take Jace, Isabelle, and Clary on mission to some of the new demon dens and clear them out. I do not want to hear about Clary taking off to this chrysalis on some fool's errand. The Clave will have their envoys here for the day for an inspection and meeting again. They are continuing their objective on the souls ejection point, it has been cleaned up but remnants remain. I need you out of here for the duration. Hole up at Magnus's if you need to but I want at least two dens exterminated."

"We'll aim for more, there will be no need to encroach on Magnus's home." Alec looked at Maryse as he spoke, a quick glance towards Magnus before he dismissed the warlock in his mind. He had enough to deal with right now.

Maryse actually appeared saddened by this but she took a breath turning to Magnus to escort him out of the Institute only to be rebuffed. Magnus excused himself saying he would work on the amulet and to update him on that chrysalis when the assigned team returned.

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

The skulls staring back at him seemed to be laughing at him. He despised them. He hated the cold even more. He had been stuck on some lower level that had taken ages to walk several flights of stairs to reach. Only to be given candles, a single flashlight, and blankets. The letters, however, he clutched in his hands like a lifeline.

Jonathan had grown accustomed to the Silent Brother named Brother Zachariah, he had not grown accustomed to the cold, dampness of the Silent City. The place screamed dismal demise with its rocky hallways far beneath the surface of the crust. You would think he would be used to it by now.

Seriously, if they were descended from angels you would think they would brighten up the place a bit.

"I'm glad you can find amusement today." Brother Zachariah's voice reverberated through his head.

"It is irony, not amusement." He tossed his head back in half a laugh letting it smack against the stone behind him.

"Today we shall be facing some of your inner fears. I cannot extract them from your mind, but you must accept them as fact for you to move on. It will hurt." A touch of warning in his head this time.

"I learned pain. Pain was my companion for years. What will your Silent Brothers do that Lilith could not?" Jonathan asked coldly.

Silence was all he got for a response.

"Jonathan Morgenstern, do you believe you have goodness inside of you?" Brother Zachariah's voice echoed in his skull.

Yes. No. I don't know. Wait!

"Yes, Alec spared my life from the hell-bent rather than letting me die a horrible death ripped apart by the anger and hate of the souls of Edom." He noticed he had crumpled the letters and quickly smoothed the white pages back out. Carefully setting them on the old wooden desk in his stone room.

"You are unsure."

"Of course I'm unsure! I was a demon! I was made to destroy!" He was standing now, eyes darting around the room, searching the small room frantically but there was no Silent Brother nearby. Brother Zachariah could be anywhere in the Silent City for all he understood, speaking to him with ease through his mind. Reading his thoughts.

I hate you!

"What good have you done in your life?" The response was not expected, no anger, no hate, just a blank acceptance of what Jonathan had been and what he was now.

I don't know!

"Yes, you do. Start with the people in your life. Clary and Alec to begin."

"I hurt Clary, I wanted her. I tried to enslave her! What kind of monster does that make me? Alec. Alec I used for my own advantages to destroy Lilith in Edom, because I desired her dead. She held me there for years in torture and pain!" He screamed at the walls, movement caught his eye. He turned and stood staring at himself in the mirror. Red hair, green eyes, a couple faded Shadowhunter runes. He wanted to punch it again, but had learnt from past experience that it was unbreakable.

Wait. There was something.

"I saved Alec. I brought him home when I couldn't control him any longer. And Clary, I spared her life on several occasions."

"Deep down you always knew you could be better. You have been conditioned to think as a demon for most of your life. You have forgotten you are also a Shadowhunter."

"I killed so many of them." He whispered partially to himself, knowing that Silent Brother would hear him regardless.

"Today is not about regret. Today is about what you see in yourself. Are you the monster you believe yourself to be or can you be what Clary and Alec both seem to want from you?"

He already knew he would always be there for Clary if she would just allow him. She was the only family that even tried to accept him, even if it was just a moment. Alec would always understand him now, they were the same.

"When can I see Clary?"

"I want you to select an instrument to play and a book to read. You need to find who you are without the demon first. Your demon died, now you learn to live." That voice reverberated through his head again.

He did not know how to live. How did one live without the strength of a demon? He desperately wanted to talk to Alec or Clary, either of them. Clary to make her understand he was trying, that he wanted to be good, that he wanted to become a Shadowhunter and right the wrongs he had committed. If by no other way than slaughtering every demon he could find. Alec because he would understand the struggle. The struggle of choosing life again and again. The struggle of relearning how to live when something you thought was vital shifted and changed.

He wandered back over to the mirror. Touching his face, examining the green eyes reflecting back at him.

"Piano and a book on parabati." He whispered the request.

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

"Damnit, Alec. I thought you said it would be drevaks and…." Jace had to cut his annoyed complaint short to dodge the massive teeth of the hellhound snapping down towards his legs. He rolled to the side, lashing his seraph blade out to strike the giant beast in the neck.

Its black furry hindquarters flipped forwards from the momentum, its spiked tail lashing around, slamming down towards Jace and he was forced to roll again, cutting the tail off as he went.

It lay still rather than dissipating and he could hear more of the beasts howling nearby sending bolts of adrenaline and ice down his spine.

"These are Hellhounds, Alec!" He snapped over the short range comm, hating how he had lost sight of Alec.

Don't lose sight of him.

That is what Maryse had told him when she explained why she was allowing Alec to head this mission even without the amulet Magnus was crafting to protect his remaining piece of soul.

Damnit.

"Alec? What's your position?" He tried again over the comm.

"Busy….level." The garbled transmission just made him more irritated.

Jace looked over at the red head beside him. The only person that had not broken ranks when the Elapids had shown up, massive, snake headed demons with a thick scaled body.

Fucking hell. No wonder Alec was always so pissed off as leader before.

He eyed the pile of yellow and green goop that had once been several Elapids. Sometime between Jace and Clary picking off the hellhounds and the swarm of Elapids, Alec had spotted something and taken off, Izzy right behind him.

"Can't you sense where he is now?" Clary questioned, green eyes scanning the area they currently stood searching for another attack.

"No, I can't." Jace growled. Pacing back and forth as he tried to reach through the bond to sense where Alec was located in the subway system they were currently clearing demons out of. Slime was starting to coat his boots making the ground slippery.

"Come on. We need to move. Those hellhounds move in packs. Whatever Alec found Izzy is with him." Jace commanded Clary, watching as the red head moved along one wall, before doing another sweep with his heterochromia eyes behind them.

"Jace, I think they went this way." Clary called as her witchlight illuminated a doorway that was partially melted from demon venom, the metal covered in yellow and green ichor. They skirted around it carefully, making sure not to touch it.

You better stay alive Alec.

A cacophony of baying and howling erupted somewhere in front of them. Jace and Clary both broke into a run towards the source.

Jace stuck to the old railroad tracks, if Alec wanted to go after a demon he would lure it into the open where his range with the bow would be improved. If the demon lured him into close quarters…

Don't follow it, idiot.

"I thought Maryse said this was a simple nest." Clary sounded annoyed to his left, witchlight casting shadows along the tunnel walls as she jogged beside him.

"Yeah, plans change. You should know that by now." Jace took the next right when the track split, activating his sight rune to search for demonic blood on the floor, walls, and ceiling.

"Yeah they shift about as fast as your moods lately."

Jace stopped, whirling on her. "We are on mission right now. Can you do this when we get back to the Institute?"

Clary looked somewhat ashamed to have brought up their relationship problems in the middle of a mission, but he could see she also did not regret it.

He grit his teeth, scanning the ceiling where Elapids tended to hide. Seeing nothing even with the sight rune activated.

The howling of the hellhounds was definitely getting closer though. He glanced at Clary who was already turning around to face the incoming hellhounds.

There were five of them. Red eyes gleaming manically, their large dog-like bodies careening down the tracks towards them, howling their wrath.

Two against five, not bad.

Jace activated his strength and speed runes with a thought, saw Clary doing the same with her stele out of the corner of his eye. Jace crouched low, waiting.

The first hellhound leapt, Jace launched himself forward to slam his hand into its back directing its body into Clary's seraph blade. With his other hand he slammed his own glowing blade down the throat of the next hellhound, its jaws nearly taking his hand off when they snapped shut. Demonic ichor spurting from its throat hit his hand as he backed away. He twisted his body into another spin to slash at the third demon rushing by headed for Clary, her smaller size making her the preferred target.

His blade gouged a long line down the hellhound's coarse black furred body, spurting black ichor across the ground and adding more gunk to his boots causing him to lose traction.

Clary stabbed it through its body as it landed, it skidded and lay still near her feet.

The last two hellhounds slammed into Jace at full force, their massive weight throwing him to the ground. He felt one of them sink its teeth into his arm, the other hellhound snapping towards his shoulder. Pain flared through his body as the teeth hit bone, his hand dropped the seraph blade. He grabbed the grip of the blade with his other hand as it fell, reigniting the weapon and slamming it into one of the hellhound's sides, trying to push the blade through to hit the other demon as well.

The hellhound clinging to his shoulder suddenly slumped onto Jace. Dead.

"Jace! Hold on." He heard a grunt from Clary and the weight of one of the hellhounds started to lift off his body. He pushed with his injured arms, shoulder and arm screaming in pain. The dark body flopped to the side with a thud.

"You almost died!" Clary screamed at him.

I'm perfectly alive not deaf.

Jace fumbled for his stele, but quickly realized that with two injured limbs he was not going to be able to draw the needed Iratze.

"Yeah. Just draw two Iratze on me, one on each shoulder."

Clary was quick to comply, helping him out of his shredded leather jacket and applying the needed runes to each shoulder.

Jace welcomed the burning pain as she drew, waiting until he felt it hit its crescendo telling him when each rune was complete and activated.

"Izzy? Alec?" He hit the short range comm again while Clary worked.

"Here. I'm….Northern Boulevard and…street." Izzy's panting voice crackled across the comm with the sounds of shrieking demons.

Jace could make an educated guess where she was based on the broken transmission.

"Have you seen Alec?"

"Parted at 36th…" the rest cut out, but he had a vague idea of where both of them were located.

How the hell did they get pushed so far?

Jace and Clary were down by Lexington, it was going to be a hike just getting to their location.

"Activate your stamina rune." He ordered Clary, before reaching up and hitting the comm again. "Izzy, we are on our way to you. Alec if you can hear this respond."

An affirmative from Izzy, silence from Alec.

"I thought Alec was more strict and by the books." Commented Clary as they jogged along the subway track towards Izzy's last known location.

Yeah, me too.

A few minutes later Jace brought his hand up, motioning for Clary to slow. Bodies of demons littered the subway in front of them, most had arrows sticking out of their eyes or chests, several had the telltale sign of an adamas whip, more had large gashes indicating a seraph blade.

"Why aren't they vanishing back to the void?" questioned Clary as she drew near one scorpion looking demon.

"I think all of these came from Edom. I don't think they have a place to vanish back too. I'm not really sure." Jace answered, he felt chilled that these demons weren't vanishing back to the void as usual. Either something atrocious was going on here or something that might help the Shadowhunter cause.

Flickering light in the tunnel up ahead caught his attention. It was hidden behind a subway train, Jace motioned Clary to drop low, moving quickly around the metal subway cars.

A whistle, a snap, a crack and another demons cry cut out.

Izzy.

Jace circled around the subway cars, Clary right behind him. When they breeched the opposite side of cars they found Izzy panting in a sea of dead demons.

Her silver whip lay partially on the ground as she bent over gasping for breath, witchlight glowed at her feet where she had dropped the glowing stone to see in the dark confines of the subway system. She raised her whip before her face drew into recognition of friend from foe.

"Jace. Clary. Why are there so many? I've never seen so many demons packed together. Alec went that way. Said something about finding the leader." She pointed further along the path as she spoke, her black hair hung messily about her, makeup smeared from sweat.

It better not be one of the greater demons that we suspect is running around.

That would be a nightmare. Alec without part of his soul and only three shadowhunters against a greater demon. Granted Alec had banished Azazel single handedly and had taken out all of Edom somehow. Maybe he stood more of a chance than most.

He tried the comm again. Nothing.

Izzy was already leading the way towards where she had last seen her brother vanish.

An inhuman howl sounded, reverberating loudly down the tunnel.

"That's got to be Alec." Jace sprinted the rest of the way, only to pull up short after the next bend, Izzy and Clary directly beside him.

There was no more track, just a gapping, mangled hole where they used to be a tunnel and track. He couldn't even make out the bottom, all he could make out was a faint glowing blade and hear the screech as something hard and metal hit the ground and dragged.

"Alec's down there." Izzy breathed, she was eyeing the drop into darkness with some trepidation, even with runes it would be a tough drop to accomplish safely. Jace knew she would follow, it was her brother down there. Even if she needed to climb the rubble, she would get down there. Clary would follow.

Reactivating strength, stamina, and agility runes for the extra boost Jace jumped, felt air rush past him as he plummeted. Landing in a rolling crouch when he hit the ground nearly 40 feet below. His legs protested the jump even with the boost from the runes, felt the shirt on his back tear open from the debris he was rolling through to dampen the fall.

World still spinning slightly, Jace raised his blade up searching for Alec. Felt his breath lock in his throat when his heterochromia eyes landed on Alec's form, alive and breathing.

I'm going to kill him for this.

The irritated thought vanished just as fast as he registered just what was occurring. The demon before Alec was humanoid in form, giant bat like wings extended from its sides, twisted horns sticking straight up into a slight curve, its red-white eyes growing dimmer even as he stared. Alec's entire right arm was buried through the demons chest up to the elbow, seraph blade in his left hand winking in and out.

Jace pushed himself to his feet, foot rolling on something. He glanced down, Alec's bow lay shattered on the ground, a seraph blade deactivated right next to his foot. It was clear the bow had broken before Jace landed on it, he had just made it worse.

Alec yanked his hand out of the demons chest, watching as it sunk to the ground before him.

Jace couldn't see his face, swallowing he realized he was actually afraid to see Alec's face right now.

"Alec? I think we got them all." He found himself whispering to his parabati as he approached slowly, the same circling approach he did weeks ago.

He's not a rabid animal. It's Alec.

Even in the dark he could see Alec's entire body shaking, muscle quivering.

Shit. Not now.

The last time he saw those tremors he had Alec pinned against his bedroom wall trying to wrestle the vial of blood from his hands.

Ok. Don't freak out.

He could hear Izzy and Clary finally hitting the ground from their scrambling climb down to the bottom of the pit.

Alec snapped his dark head up, turning towards the three of them, something incredibly dark and haunted in that gaze.

"I killed him. Agr….." Alec cut out, suddenly whipping back around to stare at the demon on the ground. With a snarl he reactivated his seraph blade and started slamming the blade into the demon's corpse over and over and over again.

Jace's gaze flickered down to the floor, then back up to Alec's enraged form hacking away at the demon. He felt his heartbeat kick up a notch, racing faster as a slow realization dawned on him.

"Alec. Alec. Stop. It's dead!" Cried Izzy, approaching her brother but not getting within range of the madness.

Alec slowed and stopped hacking the body apart, which now oozed black ichor everywhere. He was gasping for breath, the black ichor covered his right arm, Jace wasn't even sure if he was still wearing a leather jacket or just his shirt.

"It's ok. We can go home now." Izzy said cautiously, yet her eyes shone with the gleam of adrenaline from the recent battles. Her clothing was in a similar state as Alec's, demon ichor and dirt smeared across every available surface.

"We can't. I told Maryse I would not return until midnight when the Clave leaves the Institute." Alec said tonelessly.

"Well, we need to go to a hideout nearby then. Access some clean water and get cleaned up before we move onto the next nest." Jace informed them.

"Jace is right. We can't just stand here if there are other nests just as bad as this one." Chimed in Clary, she was already moving back up the pile of rubble to get out of the pit, red hair shining in the flickering light from Izzy's witchlight.

Jace watched Alec move towards the rubble heap to start his climb, swallowed when he saw Alec's right arm tremble.

He couldn't tear his gaze away from it and the sinking feeling in his gut the entire way to the safe house.

O – O – O – O – O – O

The smell of hot chocolate wafted up from the mug Jace was holding that Clary had given him. Izzy sat on the old, stained couch next to him, Alec and Clary in separate beaten chairs further away silently sipping their drinks as well. They were all clean finally, dressed in the spare clothes the hideout had stashed away for shadowhunters. Jace had insisted on going last because Alec and Izzy were covered in ichor and he needed to hold onto some chivalry for Clary.

Even from where he sat he could see Alec's right arm shake slightly whenever he took a drink.

Alec had forced all of them to draw anti-venom and anti-virus runes on themselves both before and after the showers.

"That went south fast. Least we all got out just fine." Clary tried breaking the unexpected silence that had built up.

A few muttered answers back to her from Jace and Alec.

Izzy rolled her eyes. "Guys. So dramatic. We are shadowhunters. We annihilated that nest of demons. The only thing we lost was Alec's bow and my amazingly sexy outfit."

Alec rolled his eyes at that. "Izzy, that nest was nearly four times the size it should have been. There were a multitude of unaccounted for demons. We should have had a larger team to go in there."

"We are the best in New York, especially me." Jace commented with a smirk towards the others.

"Well, the best would have had his head bitten off if it wasn't for me." Claimed Clary, head rising towards Jace in a challenge, daring him to argue the point.

Stupid hellhounds.

"Ok, I did require a bit of backup." He acknowledged with a small smile towards Clary. " Backup I would have had had someone not broken ranks." He sent a glare towards Alec and Izzy.

"Should have spotted the leader, I called it over the comm." Alec answered with some heat.

"Alright, break it up. Jace, Alec you get one room. Me and Clary will take the other for the night. Jace come with me to help clean up the weapons." Izzy announced, standing up and moving over to their weapons still covered in demon ichor.

"I'm going to check the lower level of the safe house, see if there are any replacement bows or weapons." Alec set the half-finished cup down heading towards the stairs down with barely a glance towards any of them. The heavy clomp of boots on stairs echoing as he descended.

"Guess some things never change." Clary commented wryly, mouth curving up.

"Yeah, perfect soldier." Jace said mouth twisting down after Alec.

"Clary, can you give Simon a call and see if he has heard of anything about extra demons or losing contact with other vampire covens? Maybe get Lily involved." Izzy asked picking up a weapon to start cleaning it in the designated sink.

"Yeah, sure. Simon says the new coven leader, Lily, has been working closely with Lucian so she should help us easily." Clary responded, digging through her jacket to locate her phone before heading to a different room for better reception.

Jace put his mug in the sink designated for food and utensils before wandering over to Izzy, picking up a blade to help clean.

"You and Simon having issues too?" Jace asked Izzy, shooting her bowed head a quick glance before continuing to clean the blade in front of him.

She set the weapon she was cleaning down, looking up at him. "Nope. Just needed her out of here. I needed to talk to you about Alec." She stared directly at him, not even moving to pick up the weapon to resume cleaning.

Jace kept his expression in check, traveling his hand down the blade to remove more of the demon ichor into the specialized sink.

"He's not ok and he won't talk to me. Whatever happened in Edom, a bit of magic didn't heal everything." Izzy stated, dark brown eyes tracking Jace's movements.

"He won't talk to me about it. I don't even fully understand what is wrong to begin with. I wouldn't even know where to begin." Jace looked up at her, trying to convey he was not the right person for this.

"But you are the only one he has let close since he got out of that cell." Dark brown eyes looked at him pleadingly, reminding him to much of another darker pair.

Damn.

"You know I'm terrible with emotions." Jace tried to sidestep the conversation.

"You are his parabati. You chose to bind your souls together. Be there for him because he won't let me."

"I don't want to make him worse." Jace admitted, dropping his gaze to the weapon in front of him, stilling his hands.

Hell, I might have already made him worse.

"Jace, he's lost. I'm afraid this is taking him to that edge he went to during Max's first running ceremony."

Where Alec nearly killed himself by throwing himself off the building.

"But that was due to a warlocks influence. Alec wouldn't really kill himself." Jace felt he like he was trying to convince himself more than Izzy as he stared back at her now.

Alec had never brought it up to Jace after that incident and Jace had never pushed. Instead he had been consumed with his concerns for himself and Clary back then. Now though, Alec's recent actions had been verging on desperate or primal.

"Magnus said those feelings are already there, the spell just enhances them. If you think about it, it hasn't even been a full year, people don't just forget something like that." She wrapped her arms around herself.

Alec did, he had to. It was never even brought up.

"Izzy it was the warlock. Even if Alec felt that way it was so buried that it took a spell to bring it out." Jace snapped, averting his eyes.

"He broke ranks to kill that greater demon. He didn't care about his safety, he didn't care about his soul being enthralled. He doesn't feel. Jace, he won't even acknowledge Magnus." She informed him.

Jace rocked back on his heels, eyes going wide. There was no way she could know for certain that was a greater demon, not without a warlock or a highly trained medic. And he knew for a fact Alec could feel a myriad of emotions currently.

"You don't know for sure what it was he killed, just that it was a demon."

She sighed, looking away. "He hurt Max during training."

What?

"So accidents happen." He tried to brush it off.

"He hurt me too." A cold fact.

He knocked you unconscious.

His brain supplied unhelpfully proving Izzy's point. Inside his head Jace was screaming denial because Alec had been passionate with him. He had also been desperate, both for the bloody drug and his touch.

Damnit, what are you trying to do?

A cold feeling was all that answered followed by the constant slow pulse and burn against his parabati rune. A constant reminder that he was missing something important that was just out of reach, slipping through his grasp each time he looked.

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

Alec was already in bed and asleep by the time Jace crawled into his own bed on the other side of the room. Jace had stayed up until each weapon was cleaned of demon ichor and had skipped dinner choosing instead to lay on the couch spinning he stele for another hour. Waiting for Alec to fall asleep before venturing into the shared room because his mind kept repeating vividly feeling Alec unravel beneath him. It also kept cruelly supplying Izzy's conversation back to him.

Once Jace got the under the plain covers, feeling the coolness envelope him, he felt his body starting to relax towards sleep. Turning his head he checked on Alec's dark sleeping form breathing quietly.

A part of him wanted to walk over there, lean down and sink his teeth into the nape of Alec's neck and wake him up, just to watch him lose control again, feel him through the bond again. Watching his usually serious and reserved parabati respond to just a touch so forcefully had been one of the most unexpectedly hot things Jace had ever witnessed. And he wanted more.

With those thoughts he closed his eyes and drifted to sleep.

"Whatever you need my queen."

"Your boy is crying you know."

"No! Stop! Please don't!"

"He's begging me not to do this."

Alec was dying….

"…It's time for Jace to finally feel it."

There was blood all over his hands. He couldn't control his movements. He tried to twitch a hand, it did not respond to his command.

Stop…

Clary's body lay dead. Everywhere he looked her body lay dead. Red blood pooling around her stomach, spurting from her throat, and flowing out her side, green eyes vacant.

STOP!

Jace bolted awake, thrashing to escape the sheets, striking anything near him.

He couldn't move!

Gasping, he jerked his body forward tearing the sheets off his legs.

Freedom. He could move. It wasn't real.

He struggled to control his rapid breathing, felt movement to his left and kicked out. Struck nothing.

"It's just me." Alec's deep voice rolled across his thrashing mind.

Fuck. Dream. Nightmare. Just a nightmare.

Jace felt the bed shift slightly as Alec sat down behind him, before muscled runed arms wrapped around his body pulling him back into Alec's strong, breathing body.

Jace went with the pull, zero fight to push away the one person he wanted to reach the most. Embarrassment pulled at his injured pride, but the comfort of Alec's body smothered both.

Alec ran a hand down Jace's left side sweeping over the parabati rune where it pulsed hotly, before sliding his hand up and over Jace's chest.

"You're ok. Shh…You're ok." Whispered Alec into his ear, hot breath flowing across it.

Jace was not sure how much time passed with his back pressed against Alec tightly, but eventually his body relaxed fully into the embrace. He leaned his blonde head back, vaguely noting how his slightly longer blonde hair caught in Alec's dark black.

"Going to tell me what that was?" Alec asked softly, voice barely carrying to Jace's ear.

No.

That was his immediate response, but damn he was so tired of fighting Alec every step of the way. Always pushing him away, the only time he had even felt Alec through their parabati bond since Edom was when he went after him, chasing him down and following that damnable instinct.

He squeezed his brown and blue eyes shut hard. The parabati rune growing warmer pointing him towards the next step.

"It was a dream. A nightmare, really." Jace swallowed. "I was the Owl."

"You were. It's over now. You survived it. You struggled against it against all odds and came out alive when you were finally broken free." Alec quietly said still stroking a hand across Jace's parabati rune and running a hand up his chest.

"Tch, I went to the Silent Brothers to have the memories removed. They refused. Said I needed to learn to live with what I went through, that it made me who I was." Jace's lip turned down in a small grimace at the memory of being rejected by the Silent Brothers because he wanted to heal.

"That is the point of living. It's a struggle. It does not make you weak to fear possession again. It makes you normal."

"The great Jace Herondale, normal." Jace scoffed and forced a small smile, knowing Alec couldn't actually see it, could practically picture Alec rolling his eyes at him for the statement. "So what's your struggle?" he asked after a moment.

"Knowing you died." Alec said bluntly. "That you came back and did not trust me enough to tell me."

Somehow Jace figured that response was just the tip of a much bigger iceberg of issues.

"People die." Jace matched the tone.

Alec sighed deeply, running a hand down Jace's arm. "People don't usually come back to life from an angel wish like you did."

"Yeah most people don't exterminate an entire hellish realm in one go either. Still haven't told me about that." He tried to ignore the shivers that arm was inducing in him.

"Why can you never trust me?" There was a roughness to that voice that made Jace want to drag Alec closer. He stayed still, keeping his back pressed to Alec's chest, enclosed in his arms. Not wanting to break the flow and strange peace he held here even as the question made him want to squirm.

"I do trust you." The words felt flat even to him. "Fuck, Alec, I don't know when we built all the barriers to each other."

"Then drop them. First barrier. Do you regret coming back from the Owl?" Alec's left hand tightened on Jace's leg as if he expected him to run from the question.

"Of course I don't regret it. I want a life to live. I have a life to live."

"Descensus Averno facillis est. The descent into hell is easy. Trust me it is. I know you that. Now crawl your ass out and get back to heaven." There was a demand in there for something else. Jace wished he understood Alec enough again to decipher it.

Yeah you went there literally. Had it running through your veins.

Jace had had one demon running around in him and it had kept him from controlling his own limbs leaving him with nightmares weeks after it was destroyed by Magnus. Jace didn't want to think about what having the power of Edom run through your body did to your mind. He knew it sliced the soul.

What does it feel like to have your soul cut in half?

He left the question unvoiced. Jace was too exhausted to deal with whatever rage and violence that question no doubt would bring forth from Alec.

He squirmed his body in Alec's arms in a silent request to be let go.

Jace barely heard the whisper but when he did he felt a tendril of heat form low. "No, not letting go."

"Then don't, just scoot down so we can try and fit in this blasted bed together."

Alec loosened his grip long enough to allow Jace to move into a more comfortable position laying on his side before he shifted to lay beside him, tracing a pattern along Jace's side. Jace tried to reach for him through the parabati bond again. He could physically see Alec, yet all he could feel from him was the slow pulse and burn and those damnable razor edges.

Damnit, where are you?

"Alec, stop blocking me through the parabati bond." Jace requested after a while.

The palm on his side stilled, dropping away. Alec rolled onto his back from his side, dropping a leg to the ground to keep himself from falling off the small bed.

"I'm not blocking you, Jace. I just need to…" There was a rolling dark undertone to Alec's voice that sent Jace's nerves skittering.

"Yeah, if I bite you again will you let me in?" Jace watched as Alec's whole body seized tightly before Alec lashed his right hand lightning quick grabbing Jace's jaw tightly.

"Would you let me in?" Alec challenged back barely brushing their mouths together.

Yes.

Jace felt his parabati rune's pulse and burn sharpen with heat as soon as Alec deepened the kiss. Waves of heat spiraling through his body starting from his center.

Felt Alec's soul slowly unfurl within the bond again, Felt the stirrings of the first emotions reverberating through it. Jace struggled to reach for them from his end of the bond.

Alec pushed his hips against Jace with a low growl, dragging teeth against Jace's lower lip lightly.

"I can't stop…"

Jace was buried under pleasure from those lips that it took him a moment to understand what Alec had just said.

They were parabati. This was supposed to be the one thing they avoided at all costs. Yet, every instinct in Jace demanded this was the correct path.

I can feel you again.

That's all that mattered, he could feel Alec again when his mouth slid down his neck.

Could feel the life force from Alec beating between them steadily through the bond.

"I know…" he whispered back to Alec before dragging another kiss across Alec's mouth, hand gripping his neck tightly.

Alec dragged a hand down Jace's chest, twisting his hand in Jace's shirt tugging the material away, letting his fingers graze against Jace's abdominal muscles.

Jace didn't care where the lust was stemming from anymore. He only understood he wanted more, had wanted more since the other night when Alec had responded so forcefully to something meant to stun him and drop his defenses.

Jace twisted his hips up on a thrust, tugging with an arm, turning them so he was on top, grinding down on Alec.

Fuck…

Alec lay beneath him, dark eyes blown with lust and hunger. Alec reached up with both hands grabbing Jace's hips impatiently to start to grind them against each other more forcibly.

Jace leaned down to kiss him harshly, demanding Alec let him take control. A low groan escaped his dark haired parabati as he arched his neck back exposing his neck.

Jace latched onto it immediately. "Touch me." He hissed at Alec his own breath ragged.

He felt Alec tense in surprise dark brown eyes darting to meet heterochromia brown and blue. Jace watched as the brown darkened further with lust as Alec processed the request.

Alec flipped them both over faster than Jace could blink. Yanked Jace's pants down, followed by his own and was back on top gripping both of them in one hand.

Holy fuck that shouldn't feel this good.

Jace yanked Alec down to him to attack his mouth, deepening the kiss as much as he could. Feeling his mind start to blank under the pleasure. He tried to fight it, the moment he let go he wouldn't feel Alec through the bond again, he knew that instinctively. The parabati rune felt alive pulsing to the rhythm of their bodies.

He could feel sweat coating his skin as Alec pushed them both closer to the edge with harsh, strong strokes.

There was something he wanted to ask Alec but his lungs were burning for air and his mind washed white as the heat swept over him.

He exploded, it tore through him in a wave. He arched hard into Alec's grasp, his cry swallowed in a harsh kiss.

Jace stayed lost in the warm high of the aftermath longer than he in ages, if ever. A cool stickiness finally brought him back to his senses.

Opening his eyes he met the sated dark brown in Alec's, parabati rune slowed to its usual steady pulse and burn, hotter than before.

O – O – O – O – O – O

It was afternoon the next day before they finished the second demon den and returned to the Institute. Sunlight blazing down harshly had helped immensely in cornering the demons and even with the solar assistance Alec knew it was a larger den than expected. Still it went smoother than the night before.

Currently, he and Izzy sat before their mother in her joint office with Lydia.

"More Institutes need to be informed of this. Demons not returning to the void is unheard of and you aren't the first patrols to mention this." Maryse summed up what they had just informed her easily.

"Alec and I believe it is due to the destruction of Edom. The demons have no passage." Izzy nodded her dark head slightly.

"Clary's sunlight rune will need to be taught to every shadowhunter around the world as a way to burn the bodies of the dead demons. None of us are certain what the dust and remains can do to shadowhunters or anyone else." Alec stated.

Maryse looked between the two of them before rubbing her head. "There are already procedures in place to distribute knowledge like this easily to other Institutes. I'm unsure if any other Institutes have contacted the Clave with similar reports."

Izzy shot a glance at her brother, before turning back to Maryse. "There is something else."

Alec brought his dark eyes towards his sister, trying to figure out what secret she was about to spill.

What are you going to say?

"Alec was covered in demon ichor during our first demon nest extermination. I think he also killed a leader or a greater demon. I want the medics to look at him and no more missions until Magnus gets him that amulet." She had leaned forward slightly while speaking, hands kept tightly in her lap.

Maryse snapped her gaze from Izzy to Alec. "Is this true?"

No point in lying.

"Yes. Also I'm fine. All of us were covered in ichor. I had everyone apply anti-virus and anti-venom runes as soon as we could and again after cleaning up." Alec informed her.

"That's your body Alec. What about your soul?" Maryse's voice broke slightly in concern for her eldest son.

The red power he had felt.

"My soul is fine too." He told them both forcefully a little annoyed, at her disbelieving look he added. "Jace was near me afterwards."

"Well, Magnus will be here to deliver the protection charm today." She glanced at the clock hanging off the wall. "He should be here any minute. Izzy make sure Alec sees the medics and request Magnus to do a scan."

"Stop treating me like I'm not here. I'll see the medic myself. Send Magnus down to the infirmary when he gets here, if I'm not there I'll be working on the report." Alec flatly stated pushing to his feet and striding out of Maryse's office.

It was nearly two hours later before Magnus actually appeared in Alec's office where he had kept busy sending out the messages to other Institutes about the sunlight rune and how to dispose of demonic bodies properly.

Alec felt Magnus long before the door was pushed open. That seductive electric blue magic calling to be harnessed and unleashed.

Alec closed his eyes as red sparks fired across his vision from the right.

Control.

"I see you are mostly in one piece." Magnus's voice from the door made him open his eyes slowly.

The warlock stood just outside the threshold wearing a dark red jacket covered in small studs, the usual black fancy dress shirt and pants, golden cat-eyes glittering.

Never glamours them around me anymore. Odd.

"I had some help." Alec responded, tracking the movements of the warlock as he entered wandering over towards Alec's desk.

"Your soul protection amulet." Magnus held out his hand, partially dropping the necklace from his grip so that it dangled in the air, silver-white crystal glinting and flashing slowly. "The chain is made of iron reinforced by magic, it will not break."

Alec reached out to take it, paused when the red sparks flooded his vision. He dropped his arm away, shaking his head.

"Alexander, are you refusing a gift?" Magnus raised an eyebrow at him. His mind registered it as an old signal but came up with a blank when he reached for the emotion behind it.

"No. Its…"

"It's not going to kill you Alexander. Take it."

Alec reached out with his left hand and snatched the chain out of Magnus's grasp, pulling away before the electric blue magic could sink into his skin.

He wanted that magic in his veins.

He went to clip the chain together at the back of his neck, but hesitated. Hesitated to long when Magnus spoke.

"Allow me." Magnus circled around the desk, hand trailing along the wood.

"I don't need it. I didn't need it on the mission either." Alec snapped, clipping the chain into place, and standing up. Magnus had frozen where he stood, golden eyes gleaming sharply.

Something shifted in Magnus's face, some deeper understanding. In that moment Alec hated him for it, for the knowledge of centuries and for his power.

"Alexander, your mind is a battlefield, you have always been its commander. Don't let this turn you into its soldier."

"I'm not."

God, he wanted that magic in his veins. Feel its power again.

"You can't feel can you? Oh, Alexander take the Silent Brother's path, you are already half way there. Why put more of yourself at risk?"

"I'm not at risk! I know…I know how to control it." He fisted his hands on the desk, glaring.

"As I suspected Edom's grasp hasn't released you even though it no longer flows through your veins."

Red flashed across his vision, he could feel it forming under his skin, the magic sluiced from that demons heart.

Magnus slide his feet apart, whipping his arm around in a large circle, blue electric magic coalescing before him before he punched it straight at Alec hitting him square in the chest throwing him backwards into the wall behind him.

Alarms blared within the institute.

Alec's vision slowly cut out as he saw Maryse burst through the door.

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

Cornered.

Jace despised the feeling as a shadowhunter, always being taught by his father to keep his exits open.

Clary had officially cornered him regardless by the piano. The room was large as most of the Institutes rooms were but only had one exit, unless he wanted to climb out the windows behind him.

Not a bad idea.

She had closed the door behind her and latched it when she had arrived.

"We need to talk." She announce fiercely as she had strode in just as he had sat down to play.

Really don't want to talk about this.

"Listen I don't know what is going on with you. I'm about ready to have Izzy check if you are possessed because you aren't yourself." She had her arms crossed, staring down at him from the other side of the black piano.

Jace felt his hackles rise at the implication.

"I'm not possessed. I know what that feels like and have been maintaining my angelic rune to ensure it doesn't happen."

"Jace all you do is focus on the mission lately or vanish to god knows where. It's like the Owl all over again." She had stopped in front of the piano where he sat.

Jace tightened his hands into fists over the keyboard.

"Don't. Don't go there with me." He shook his head, glaring at her in hurt and anger.

"Then what is going on with you? You asked for a break and I gave you that, but you just keep pulling away. You told me this was real. Its real isn't it?" Her bright green eyes burning with too much emotion, that Jace had to glance away.

"I don't know. We gave everything for each other and there's nothing left. I can't keep living like this."

"Living like what? In love? Because I thought that's what we had."

It was what they had, when he believed it. If Jace could turn back time he wasn't sure he would have wanted to fall in love with her now. Loving, lusting after her had destroyed him on so many levels.

"Clary since you entered my life, I fell in love with you, but I also lost myself. I was this soldier that was expected to be perfect and I had a family, a family that cared about me. I threw it all away for you, repeatedly." He met her eyes needing to see how she absorbing the news.

"You didn't lose yourself Jace. You came alive. Izzy told me that it was like you had woken up finally. You can't just shut down." She was begging him now, moving around the piano to try and take one of his hands.

He drew back not allowing her to take his hand.

"Clary, I'm not shutting down. But we've both been possessed, both been hurt by someone we thought was our father, and I just need time apart. I can't be with you right now."

He couldn't bring himself to explain the parabati bond and how it was messing with his head. How his conversation with Izzy left him wondering if he had ever loved Clary or if it was all just another lust filled relationship built around adrenaline.

Tears were filling her eyes, but her spiteful spirit won easily. "We haven't slept in the same room in weeks. You go to Izzy for your runes now. What did I do wrong? Or are you just afraid to be in love when you have sex?" She practically spit the last question.

Jace grit his teeth, felt his jaw twitch in anger and annoyance, but stayed silent. He wasn't sure how to explain what he was feeling. What he felt for Clary felt pale now compared to the burn that had taken up residence in his body every time he got close to Alec.

Not like I'm confused enough.

"Is this about Jonathan? Because he isn't going to murder you or I now. I've been talking to him via letters the Silent Brother lets me send him. He's trying Jace. He feels sorry for what he did to you, what he did to us." Her voice had fallen to a softer tone, losing some of the anger.

Lies all lies.

Jace closed his eyes briefly. Jonathan had been on his mind, but for a completely different reason.

"I just need you to let us go." Jace kept his face blank when he turned his heterochromia gaze back to Clary. She looked devastated, like she couldn't understand he wanted to end everything. Clary shook her head back and forth trying to deny what he just said to herself, eyes shedding the tears that had been building since she walked in.

Jace bulled onward needing to prove his point. "You and I need to be apart. We thought we were siblings for a time and still thought we were in love. That's pretty messed up. And don't even get me started on the issues with Jonathan's obsession with you and how you seem capable of forgiving him after everything."

Clary drew back fast enough her red hair swung in the breeze she created, her green eyes wide and hurt. "And you just want to what…forget everything we went through?" she whispered.

Jace grimaced knowing his next words would hurt, but still met her green eyes across the piano. "Yes. I need to know who I am again. As me."

"I know who you are. We can get through this together." She tried again to salvage the relationship, tears still shining brightly on her face.

"No. This is it. I'm done." He blinked, wetness rolled down a cheek.

Damnit he was crying.

Clary spun on her heel, storming from the room with a slam of the door. He heard her crying as she fled away from him.

Slamming his hands down on the keyboard in front of him to release the discordant sound did nothing to ease the feeling of loss and confusion welling up inside him.

He choked back a sob curling over the keyboard, wishing he could understand what went wrong so fast that made him want to end it so badly.

Yet buried beneath knowing he no longer held Clary resonated a peace allowing him to breathe easier. His breathing evened out as his mind found peace. A small breath of peace he hadn't realized he was searching for until he felt it.

Now all he had to do was figure out how to fix Alec and himself and that peace could extend from one moment to something longer.

That's when the Institutes alarms blared loudly through the quiet.

O – O – O –O – O – O – O

"Izzy!"

Jace yelled her name as she sprinted through the Main Ops Center room, high heels clicking loudly against the floor, she had hiked her red dress up a bit to run easier. The Institutes lights were still flashing a warning red, but someone had thankfully cut the blaring warning sound.

She just made a motion for him to follow, hand still holding her phone to her ear.

"I found Jace, we're on the way." She said into the phone before she took off in her high heels.

The way where?

Before he could even voice his thought Izzy was twenty feet ahead of him running faster than he'd ever seen her run for any mission.

Shit.

Whatever it was it was bad.

Jace grabbed hold of the corner of the wall to swing himself around it faster slowly gaining on Izzy in her headlong pursuit. As they sprinted closer Jace could deduce where she was headed.

Institute Heads offices. Maryse or Alec.

She abruptly halted in front of Alec's office door, Jace nearly slammed into her back needing to veer himself into the wall instead having misjudged which door she was aiming for.

"Mom?"

His heartbeat froze, he flew into the room searching for a body, a demon, anything to attack or defend.

Jace stopped, hand upraised with seraph blade on.

There was a dent in the far wall, Magnus stood weaving blue magic back and forth across something behind the desk, dread filled his stomach. Maryse stood leaning over the desk, runed arms supporting her heavily but she had her head turned to look back at himself and Izzy.

I couldn't feel this.

"What's going on?" Jace asked as Izzy brushed past him rounding the desk quickly, before Maryse stopped her.

"It would appear Alec was exposed to demonic energy on your mission yesterday. Magnus says Alec attempted to hurt him."

"He went to the medics, the results came out fine. I was with him the whole time." Izzy cocked her head to the side trying to recall anything amiss from the morning or yesterday.

Magnus cut his magic from whatever spell he was weaving on Alec. "Not everything can be detected with Shadowhunter magic. Take your wards for example. It would seem either his mind or body, perhaps both, remember and recognize Edomic magic."

"Which means what?" Izzy asked managing to scoot past Magnus, kneeling next to her brother and stroking his dark hair.

"He's addicted to it. His body released most of his angelic power when he broke the wards to Edom's souls. Edom filled that empty place. When I removed that magic, it left a high risk of addiction to magic in some capacity." Magnus stated if all matter-of-factly, carrying his High Warlock of Brooklyn persona.

Jace squeezed by the immaculate warlock and sat down beside Izzy as well, picking up Alec's Edom stained arm and running his hand over his wrist. Alec appeared fine, no marks, no bruises, no blood, just the faint black lines down his right arm that would always be there.

"Is this like yin-fen?" Maryse questioned flatly, her face had lost most of its color.

"No. In that it won't kill him if he does not get his next fix."

There was a low groan from the floor as Alec returned from unconsciousness or a spell Jace wasn't really sure. Either way he found himself smiling down at Alec as he came around, rubbing soothing patterns along his wrist.

"Hey big brother" Izzy reached out and promptly punched Alec in the shoulder as soon as he started to sit up.

"Ow!" Alec's dark gaze shot to his sister with a confused frown, like he couldn't figure out why she was there. "What was that for?"

"You should have told me if you were having cravings for something. Yin-fen recoveree here, I could have helped you."

"I don't have…." Alec's gaze snapped towards Magnus. Jace who had been observing Alec the entire time watched that gaze shift through several emotions before landing on something akin to hunger.

"Nope." Jace moved before Alec could get his legs under him, sweeping a leg under Alec when he tried to stand and wrapping both arms around Alec's body securing him in place. "You aren't going anywhere."

Magnus had drawn back a step, one arm held up carefully cocked wrist blue mist spilling out, his expression unreadable and monitoring Alec with dark brown eyes.

"Magnus…" Alec started.

"Don't. Alexander look at me, look past the magic." Magnus walked slowly towards Alec, paused. "I love you Alexander. I will be here for you, but I will not be your snack. Give your body enough time to replenish the angelic magic and the cravings will cease."

Jace felt Alec tense in his arms and he tightened his hold. "Easy. I've got you. I know Magnus looks sexy and tasty but whatever you are thinking you'll regret it." He said into Alec's ear.

Magnus raised a glitter covered eyebrow in Jace's direction.

Alec growled at him, attempting to throw an elbow into Jace's ribs. Jace kept his previous hold preventing any movement. "I don't want his body, I want…" Alec snarled.

Jace pulled his forearm up and across Alec's neck cutting off his ability talk. "Stop talking."

Alec's body went taut against him.

Don't freak out.

Jace wasn't really sure how he was going to handle the situation if Alec decided to respond with something other than violence.

Concentrate.

Jace focused on activating the parabati rune with his angelic blood with a thought.

Don't panic.

He felt its power growing coalescing prior to activating, knew his eyes would be glowing gold.

Fire. Heat. A connection was forming. A razor edge of ice swept towards him.

Jace blinked dropping the use of his angelic power just as Alec's entire body pitched forward in a howl. Heard Alec cut off and retch half way through the piercing cry. His stomach turned over at the sound, but he refused to release the burning body in his arms. Before awareness of his parabati rune burning with enough heat it felt like someone had placed a brand on his side, only worse.

"Well, that's one way to remove demonic taint. My magic eliminated most of it, but what did you do Jace?" Magnus's voice held a strange awe.

If I knew I'd tell you so you can fix him faster.

"Uh…instinct…Parabati rune." Jace managed to grit out, lifting his shirt to check on the rune with one arm, retaining a hold around Alec with the other. It was glowing and pulsing to the same beat it typically carried.

Still there.

Jace flopped back against the wall exhausted. Alec shook free of Jace's hold.

"I can't….I can't….I can't…." Alec crawled a couple feet from him and was laying on his side muttering to himself.

"Think he needs a sleep rune?" Izzy questioned Jace and Magnus, her scared brown eyes darting between the two.

"I think that would be wise." Magnus commented.

"No!" Jace yelled.

Izzy appeared just as torn between their responses, before inching towards her brother.

"Iz, just give him a minute. He needs a minute." Jace informed her.

A minute to get back in control.

He knew he was going to get interrogated about the parabati rune activation later, but right now all that mattered was bringing Alec back from wherever he just went in his head.

He waited and watched Alec's whole body shivering.

It's just like back in the cell.

He picked himself up off the floor enough to crawl over to Alec's side, dropping his head on Alec's shoulder. His physical nearness had always seemed to calm Alec down before, may as well try now.

Work, please work.

Time passed, Jace could make out the sound of the clock ticking it in the silence, before finally Alec released a normal breath.

"I'm ok." Alec's voice sounded raw and guttural, but more normal.

Jace lifted his head off Alec's shoulder, glancing at Izzy who was still half crouched with a hypodermic needle in her hand.

"Who are you?" It was Magnus's voice, calm and flat.

Alec's gaze slowly lifted to the warlock, before cocking his head slightly. "I'm Alexander Lightwood."

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

The skulls still stared back at him, smiling at all the deaths that had befallen them.

Unless they were smiling at the new music Jonathan put forth since acquiring the piano. Perhaps smiling for the simple joy of a sound they could never hear in death.

"Tell me about Valentine Morgenstern." Brother Zachariah's ethereal voice plundering through his mind in the early waking hours as Jonathan sat at the piano practicing.

"He was afraid of me. He wanted to control me and use the demon within." He responded with his usual calm tone, letting none of his emotions leak into it.

"How did that make you feel?"

Jonathan's fingers hit a wrong note sending out a discord to bounce back at him from the underground rock tunnels, amplifying his mistake.

"Furious."

"How do you feel since your return from Edom?"

Jonathan paused his music, hands held gently over the keyboard. He cocked his head to the side almost as if he could picture the Silent Brother standing in the room with him talking.

"Light. I feel light."

"Good. You go to hold the Soul Sword."

The metal door to his dorm…cell…sanctuary creaked open, grinding on its ancient hinges. Brother Zachariah stood on the other side, face calm and peaceful, hair still frosted with electric blue dye, bland grey robes.

Fear pierced his heart in a shot. He wasn't ready. He was a demon. He was raised as a demon. He couldn't be anything other than a demon

I will protect you.

Words spoken from another person, another time, another place calmed his racing heart.

He could do this, no one saves a demon.

Jonathan stepped out of his cell to follow the Silent Brother to the room holding the Soul Sword.

O – O – O – O – O – O - O

Alec stubbornly glared up at the ceiling in his bedroom. Its dull pale color had various twists and turns woven in by whatever painter had decided to slap it on over the years of maintenance. He was not speaking to the other two people in this room, both seated annoyingly on his bed rather than anywhere else. He could feel the dips in the bed from their weight.

At least the bed's softer than the cell floor.

"Alec, come on. Mom has pulled you from all missions even with the magic amulet Magnus gave you until you can prove to her you have this under control. Talk to us." Izzy pleaded from her spot on the bed.

Probably still has a dose of medicine to knock me out with hidden in her dress.

His jaw ticked as he raised his eyes to the headboard just to make Izzy's dark form blur and leave his line of sight. Unfortunately, that brought the blonde into his line of vision.

Jace had parked himself directly beside Alec's head the moment he had collapsed on his bed with an order for them to let him sleep. Neither of them had listened, instead torturing him into wakefulness.

"Alec, when I was recovering from yin-fen, it felt like I was always to hot or cold and my body felt weak. What does magic feel like?"

Red. Electric. Power.

His parabati rune gave a pulse of warmth across his side, he itched at it.

Jace nudged his side with a leg. "No falling asleep. You need to talk to us about Edom too."

That pissed him off.

"There's no Edom to talk about!" He snarled locking his eyes on Jace feeling a strange thrum go through his body.

"Uh huh." Jace looked unimpressed with the anger, leaning back casually against the headboard, spinning his stele through one hand. "Just lost half your soul." He deadpanned.

"Fine. Magic is life. It's power. It's what let me tear…"

Look what you've become, such a pure shadowhunter.

Alec rolled to face away from Jace. "It let me survive." He whispered instead.

"I don't think that's why you survived. I think you survived regardless of magic." Jace sounded too confidant, sitting there spinning his stele in his hands.

He doesn't know what he's talking about.

"How do you absorb magic? Magnus said you took magic from the demons we fought." Izzy questioned, trying to reason her way through some of this.

"I kill them." He deadpanned at her.

"Liar." Jace called him out instantly. "You rip their hearts out."

Alec whipped around already swinging a fist into Jace, Jace caught it easily twisting so Alec had to roll awkwardly with it.

He lashed a leg out to knock Jace off the bed with a kick, which surprisingly landed. Alec shot off the bed after him only to realize it was a trap.

Jace kicked his legs out from under him, grabbing one arm to pin it to his side using his body weight to hold Alec down.

"And then there is this. Getting kind of predictable parabati." Jace said into his ear. Alec could feel the stubble from Jace's jaw rub against his cheek when he spoke.

"Get off me." He said coldly, putting as much pissed off frustration into that one sentence as he could.

Izzy is right there.

Jace sat up, but didn't get off his back. Instead straddling him more firmly. "Nah, I think you'll talk more like this."

He heard Izzy snicker from her spot on the bed.

"I'm going to kill you." He growled at Jace trying to twist around before trying to push up from the ground with his arms. Jace just batted his arms out from under him.

"You won't. You need me too much. I'm your sanity."

It was too close to the truth. Alec exploded his body upward throwing Jace off him. Twisting to throw a punch.

"Alec stop with the violence. This isn't like you." Izzy said from the bed, but she didn't move to assist or stop their tussle.

Jace caught him in the side with a tackle, knocking him back down again to land on his back.

Alec froze before turning to dirty tactics, grabbing a fistful of Jace's blonde hair and pulling his head up.

"Ow! Let go! Bastard!"

Alec smirked evilly at Jace.

Jace smirked back eyes alight even through the pain on scalp.

Alec frowned in confusion.

"I'm going to bite you if don't let go." Jace panted, half laughing.

Fuck.

Lightning chased through his body, heat pooling low and hot, too fast for him to control it.

Control it.

Not like ever could control this, he gave in every time. He could feel the warmth spread from the parabati rune pulsing through his body. That pulse went straight to his groin.

Damnit, no.

There was no impossible way Jace couldn't feel his arousal right now, but Jace didn't move from where he had Alec pinned.

Alec loosened his grip on Jace's hair but didn't remove his hand completely.

"Jace…" Alec wasn't sure if it was a warning or a plea.

"There you are. You hear me. Stay here." Jace dropped a hand to the parabati rune, pushing on it.

"What just happened?" Izzy voice pierced the haze around Alec's mind. He was still rock hard, Jace was still on top of him. Embarrassment flooded him even as the need kicked up another notch.

"Izzy get out." Snapped Jace.

"No. He's not stable."

"Get out. It's his soul. Get out!"

"What? Why? I can help."

"Get out!"

Izzy scrambled to obey the desperation in Jace's voice, closing the door with a soft click.

Jace pushed down against Alec in a slow grind.

"You survived because of our bond, idiot." Jace informed him.

Alec yanked Jace's head down to him for a kiss, harsh and demanding, begging for release.

"Yes. Fuck, Jace. I heard your call." Alec said against his mouth too lost in the feeling of warmth spreading through him.

Jace broke the kiss to yank Alec's shirt up, mouthing his way down to their rune. "This has been driving me insane." He grazed his teeth along Alec's skin.

Alec could only groan in response, thrusting up in an attempt to gain friction.

Jace turned him over so he was laying on his stomach, placing a hand over Alec's parabati rune that was emitting heat through his body in waves. He felt Jace's other hand working to free him from his pants.

He didn't care what it looked like, he got to his hands and knees to thrust better into Jace's hand.

"Move." Alec demanded when Jace wasn't moving fast enough. Felt Jace bite his shoulder in response, naked chest to his back.

More.

Alec thrust back against Jace, feeling an answering hardness when Jace moved with him.

"Always going to be this easy." Jace panted harshly into his ear, but Alec could hear a smile in there, a challenge.

He wanted to answer it, but the parabati rune and the familiar madness was driving him forward to fast. All he got out was a choked moan. Pleasure concentrated between his legs and zeroed in on Jace thrusting against him.

"Damnit…Fuck, Alec." Jace moaned brokenly into his shoulder.

Alec was vaguely aware that his parabati rune was emitting golden light, but all his focus was turned towards Jace grinding into him and that there were too many clothes still involved.

He broke the rhythm and spun around grabbing Jace around the waist to throw him on the bed. Yanking the irritating pants off Jace's body before the other could protest much. He dropped to his knees on the floor, before licking Jace and swallowing him down.

Jace reached down fisting his hands in Alec's dark hair, thrusting into Alec's mouth before dragging Alec back up into a kiss.

"Need…" Alec couldn't get the rest out before hot mouths clashed again.

Jace rolled Alec so he could take control again. "You are going to stay with me this time." Jace husked at him, eyes smoldering.

Fuck. I'm going to come from that look.

Jace leaned forward and licked Alec's shaft. Before repeating what Alec had started to do earlier, swallowing Alec down as far as he could get.

Alec threw his head back on a stunned cry, because he never once expected this from Jace.

He felt his body tightening, a sheen of sweat breaking out, felt Jace rub one hand along his velvet sac, the other running over his parabati rune in a feather light touch.

That touch did it, Alec bucked up into Jace's mouth, hot magma bursting from his body.

Jace backed off immediately, face heating in a blush. Alec tugged him in for a kiss, rolling them so he could return the favor.

Alec glanced up in question at Jace when he got there.

"What? You're hot and um….feeling your soul again…it, um, got me off." Jace smiled down at Alec.

"You always going to be this easy?" Alec smirked Jace's earlier words back to him before crawling back up to kiss him.

Crawling under the covers and sending Jace a look that he should do the same. Jace snuggled under the blankets with him easily rubbing circles along Alec's arm.

"I heard you calling me from Edom. You were a white light, the only source I could follow. So I followed it and now I can't figure out how to get it back." Alec told him.

"Pretty sure we're on the right track. I feel your soul every time we…" Jace waved his hand between them, suddenly awkward.

"Wait. Sex god Jace Herondale can't say fucked?" Alec laughed at him.

Jace shot him a glare that softened almost instantly.

Alec searched Jace's heterochromia eyes registering something shining there he never expected to see directed at him and definitely wasn't sure he deserved anymore.

Those eyes are hypnotic.

Alec found himself leaning over capturing Jace's mouth again just for the taste.

"Alec, stop. This…we need to talk." Jace gently told him, pushing him back slightly letting their mouths touch briefly.

No. Never.

Talking meant bringing up his old and current feelings. Talking meant explaining the location of his other half.

"What is there to discuss?" Alec asked turning to rest his head against Jace's side over the parabati rune.

"Still feel any cravings?" Jace asked him point blank.

The question washed away the warmth that had cocooned around him, zapping the happiness with it.

Although now that he thought about it he didn't feel physically cold anymore, didn't see any red flashes across his vision, and the constant need to be closer to Jace had decreased substantially.

"No." The word surprised him. He hadn't felt this normal in over a month, not since before Edom.

He reached over to run a hand across Jace's side.

"Alec, look at me. There is a Silent Brother that believes part of your soul is stuck inside my parabati rune somehow. I don't know if he's right or not but based on how you've been acting-"

"I'm not acting any differently." Alec interjected sharply, rolling away to search for his clothes.

"You have two modes towards me lately Alec: violence and this. You've ignored Magnus, the person you were engaged to. And now this magic craving." Jace sat up watching him intently but calm.

Alec growled at him. "You couldn't bring this up prior to earlier?"

Jace's jaw ticked, forehead creasing. "Alec, I'm your parabati and our bond held through things that should have destroyed it. I'm starting to believe the missing part of your soul is being protected here." He pointed at his side where the rune sat in stark black.

Well, he's right about that.

"If that is true, it doesn't explain how to give it back."

Jace paused, head cocking to the side recalling something. "I think you knew how the moment you first saw me when we brought you in after Edom. Instinctively you already know that answer."

Alec stood staring at Jace in conflict. Jace couldn't possibly be implying what he thought. Then again they'd already been dancing around each other listening to the call of heat and pattern of a pulse neither understood.

"I'll tear you apart." Voice low and husky again.

"Not if I beat you to it." Jace easily challenged back reaching over to grab his pants from the floor. "But I think Izzy might be questioning what's going on in here."

"Just tell her you left me to sleep. I'm sure Clary will cover for you."

Jace had his shirt halfway over his head when he responded. "I broke up with Clary. And Izzy already has a bone to pick with you, seems to think you are unstable. Good luck with that." Jace grinned at him remorselessly.

Shit.

"You aren't the least bit worried about that?"

"Nope. We're working on healing you. Different altogether."

Alec's parabati rune which had been emitting an even warmth through his body rapidly cut out, razor ice edges returned punching whatever had taken up residence in his body out. Removing heat and replacing it with a desolate craving.

Control it.

O –O –O – O – O – O – O

The Soul Sword rested in his palms again. It's cool metal touching his hands again. Long silver blade and ornate golden hilt laying quiet against his skin.

It doesn't burn me.

Jonathan was certain he would never get over that amazement. The sword should have killed him upon touch, but thanks to Alec and a bunch of souls he was free of that curse his father had placed on him.

I don't have demon blood anymore.

Another amazement he still woke up from thinking wasn't real.

He clenched both hands over the blade just to feel it slice into his palms slightly.

Pain.

That was what he should have felt the moment the soul sword was placed into his hands for the interrogation with the Clave.

The Clave members stood around the room at varying distances. Four Silent Brothers stood around him their long plain grey robes and stitched faces. Brother Zachariah, with his strange blue spiky hair, stood behind and apart from him a short distance away, an Inquisitor before him. They were still far underground, rock and stone along the walls, rock for benches, skulls and runes scattered in select intervals around the room.

"You stand before the Clave for your crimes as a demon blooded Shadowhunter. Are you still demon-blooded?" The inquisitor sternly began the days questions.

Simple.

"No." Jonathan answered.

The inquisitor and all others in the room waited a moment looking at the sword. The metal remained quiet in his grasp.

"Did you plan to annihilate all of Edom?"

Ahh. So it wasn't about his attacks on the Institutes today.

"Yes, I wanted my mother, Lilith, dead." He informed her coldly.

"Why take the realm with her?"

That answer was more complicated and Jonathan could feel a slow heat building in his hands as he thought it over. He ignored the pain easily thinking it over, remembered tracking Lilith to Asmodeus and Magnus's home only to find a lone Shadowhunter.

"An opportunity presented itself to end her permanently. I used it." He stated flatly.

The sword cooled immediately. It was the truth, as much as he was willing to give.

"We have reports that the demons from Edom are not dissolving back to their realm because of the realm known as Edom's destruction. Were you aware you were exterminating your own kind?" The Inquisitor's sharp steely voice cut towards a truth he was still grappling with.

Jonathan could see she was already frustrated with his short responses. But they had been already been over Valentine Morgenstern and Jonathan's childhood in previous days. This was just their next step towards either his death or redemption.

I wonder if they'll give me the cell instead. Its quiet, out of the way, I wouldn't even be bothering anyone.

"Answer the question." The Inquisitor snapped.

"I did not realize the souls behind the gate would command enough destruction to successfully exterminate a realm." That truth came a bit harder. He hated admitting he was wrong.

"How did you, a demon, survive?"

Alec. They wanted to know about their escape.

The soul sword glowed yellow, runes igniting, biting into his flesh with its power.

Derail it.

"Power." He gasped out, green eyes staring daggers at the Inquisitor.

"What power?" her irritation was rising, he could see it.

"The souls." Jonathan expected the sword to remain quiet after that but it did not, instead glowing brighter, demanding more of the truth. "The souls pulled the demonic essence from me." He bit out angrily.

The swords insistent power stopped.

Jonathan sagged but held onto the sword, dropping it would mean he refused the question and certain death.

There was a mummer of voices from that statement, people shifting in the room. He kept his eyes on the interrogator. Focused on that woman's face, her clothes, memorizing every detail.

He wondered if he should have an urge to kill her or if he was just fascinated with someone unlocking secrets they shouldn't be.

"Did you want to give up being a demon?" She sent her next question as a barb.

He narrowed his green eyes at her. "I wanted a family. I wanted Clary to love me!" He hissed at her.

"Yes or no?"

He realized he was undecided on the matter. He had always wanted to be free of the nightmare, but now that the power was gone. He found he missed what had always been. But he wanted to be good, didn't he?

The soul sword continued to glow a brighter yellow as he contemplated, its power digging into him searching for a truth to expel from his mouth.

The dichotomy of good doesn't exist for people like us.

"No. I don't know how to live as anything else." The words broke out of him.

The Inquisitor's face flickered with something to fast for Jonathan to take in, before resuming her irritated appearance.

"Do you want to kill all shadowhunters and mundanes?" That blasted woman had barely moved an inch the entire interrogation.

Guilt was starting to rise up in him. He couldn't look at her anymore, dropping his gaze to the sword. The Silent Brother had said guilt was a normal emotion, Jonathan hated it. He had no idea how to cope with it.

"No. Not anymore." Still staring at the sword as it remained quiet.

"One last question, how did Alexander Lightwood survive?"

No! no, no, no, twist it. Twist the truth. Cunning you were always cunning.

The sword lit up brightly in his hands, yellow white light shining onto his face and shirt. Burning brighter. The pain he could deal with but the urge to spill the truth was pulled from him regardless by the swords power.

"He didn't." Jonathan dropped the sword as soon as the words left him, stepping back away from the pedestal.

"Inquisitor. That will be all further questions for now. Jonathan Morgenstern still requires a great deal of mind healing. I do not wish to send him back to his old self." Brother Zachariah's voice reverberated through everyone's heads.

The Inquisitor looked torn between furious and respect for a Silent Brother before conceding "Jonathan Morgenstern's crimes still need to be paid."

"He shall pay them here in the Silent City until we deem him ready."

Jonathan just stared at the sword in horror.

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

The training hall echoed with the sounds of wood clashing back and forth as Jace and Izzy practiced with escrima sticks. The room they had selected was filled with columns, tables, chairs, and other items meant to teach a warrior how to dodge and use the environment to their benefit.

Jace deflected three quick blows Izzy threw at him in quick succession her attacks forcing him to retreat to keep blocking. He kept his eyes trained on her movements waiting for the opening.

Izzy swung for his head, slightly too wide.

There, an opening.

Jace ducked the swing, knocking one stick with one of his own wooden sticks away in a sharp clack. Hitting her leg with the stick in his other hand. Before effortlessly spinning around to rest one on his shoulder casually.

"I think staying up late watching movies with Simon is catching up on you." Jace taunted, smirking at Izzy.

"Jealous I have a sex life right now and you don't? Pity. I thought you might have found one a couple weeks ago. You did have a stupid grin on your face at dinner that night. I still am curious who the lucky person was." She paced in front of him searching for an opening.

Two weeks since he had felt Alec's soul through the bond, two weeks since that overwhelming heat had blown up his perceptions of what he wanted. Again.

The feel of hands in his hair pulling gently.

Jace didn't deign her a response, swiftly attacking in a jump aiming one stick in a large arc over his head, the other in a sideways swing.

Izzy deflected both and they went back into the rhythm of attack and parry before breaking apart again.

"You should be proud of me. I took your advice and broke up with Clary to work on myself. Can't help it if someone else finds me attractive." He kept his voice light and self-assured, parried two more of her attacks before smacking her on one arm before putting one of the large columns in the training room between them.

"Uh huh, you know Clary went to the Silent City to visit Jonathan. Apparently, stayed there a couple days. She hasn't talked to me about it yet." She informed him before swinging to hit his lower leg, he dropped the stick down quickly to deflect the blow.

"Jace? Izzy? Have either of you seen Alec?" Max called from the doorway looking lost.

They stepped apart from the mock fight to glance over at him. A column in the middle of the room separating them from viewing Max just yet.

"Just track him." Izzy called in mild impatience over her shoulder. "We're training."

"Yeah, I did. It's the same problem as before. It leads me to Jace. And mom got some news from a Silent Brother and needs Alec in her office, like 30 minutes ago." Max said as he walked into view.

Crap.

Jace wasn't quite certain why he had been hiding this fact from Izzy or the blood he had stolen from Alec that had probably gone bad in his dresser drawer, but he had because Alec had looked so lost without it.

"Wait, why is this the first time I am hearing about this?" Izzy turned around to face her youngest brother.

"Uh…" Max shot a look to Jace.

"He knows!" Izzy whirled back around to face Jace. Jace tried to look apologetic. "Max can't track Alec and neither of you thought this might mean something was wrong!?" Izzy yelled exasperated, throwing her arms up and glaring at Jace.

"When was the last time any of us saw Alec? Maryse has him on lockdown anyway." Jace racked his brain trying to recall the last time he had laid eyes on dark black hair. It had to have been last night at dinner, maybe right before that during training.

"I'll check the other training halls and the courtyard." Izzy said.

"I'll go check his room and the roof." Jace called as he put the weapons away quickly.

"Um…what if I track the other?" Max asked shifting on his feet nervously.

What?

"What other?" Jace practically snarled.

"Well, whenever I try and track Alec its split. The bulk of it leads me to Jace, but there's always this faint trail leading elsewhere. I always thought it was just Edom's influence on him but it's still there."

Adrenaline dumped into Jace's system. He brought a hand up to the parabati rune trying to trace Alec, same pulse and burn then those damnable icy edges.

"Max? Have you ever tried following that trail?" Jace dreaded the answer but he needed to know.

"Yeah…but something blocked me before I found where it led, but that was ages ago."

Fuck.

Jace started pacing. "Ok, calm down. Izzy, if you find him don't approach him. Just call me. Max try tracking him again, just enough to tell if he's inside the Institute or not."

Max brought his hands up in front of him, holding the dagger he had been using to track Alec with. Max rewrote the tracking rune and closed his eyes concentrating.

"Jace, what aren't you telling us?" Izzy demanded, hands on her hips now.

Magic, blood, skin on skin. Demonic essence removed. Jonathan's dark voice telling him Alec would be addicted.

Holy shit, this is not happening.

"I think Alec is becoming a demon." Jace watched as all the blood drained from Izzy's face.

"What?" She managed to squeak out.

"He's been craving my blood, Magnus's magic, and…other things. I think some of them help him, but I don't know which ones help and which ones don't anymore." He averted his eyes from Izzy as he felt his face heat up in an uncharacteristic blush.

Not entirely true.

"Guys….Alec's not in the Institute." Max called, opening his eyes. "He also blocked me."

Jace punched the column before leaning the head heavily on it.

Focus. Treat it like a mission. A retrieval mission.

He turned his head against the column to look at Max, who was looking paler than Izzy. "Give us the general direction. Izzy and I will take it from there."

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

The scent of smoke, oil, ichor, fire, and dirt is was starting to overwhelm his senses.

Alec paused within the shadows he currently hid, dark eyes tracking the demon den in front of him.

The demons lay in piles, the living tearing apart their own dead to consume the blood and magic within. The demon bait he had planted earlier long since consumed, sending them into their current frenzy.

Alec drew his bow back slowly, breathing in as he lined up the shot. Breathed out and released the dark arrow.

Zing!

The bolt flew across the air to slam into its target. A demon at the far back that had gorged itself on blood and magic. It died with a shriek, purple blood splattering the dark ground. The rest of the demons swarmed in a roiling mass over recently deceased.

Alec moved quickly to a new location, always remaining within the shadows, ensuring he never left the downwind side of the den regardless of the fumes burning his nose. His eyes never left the demon that drew the largest share from the one he had just killed.

Just a couple more and it will be ready.

A couple more turned into hours of patiently waiting, killing, and watching which demon became the strongest. Then repeating the process over and over again.

Until what had started out as a hive, dwindled to two demons. Both facing off against each other, smoke-like limbs lashing and gouts of fire spewing from their mouths in small bursts.

Cannibalism is going to become very common among demons soon.

He had heard accounts of it, but never seen it. There were always other sources for the demons to feed off of easily.

Alec pulled the bow back, feeling the red fletching touch his jaw. He could see the magic coursing through the demons veins now, crackling with a red light. A few of the angelic runes on his body were starting to burn, sensing his intention.

The arrow slammed into the demon on the right. The last remaining one stood up on its haunches, skeletal smoky face sniffing the air, ignoring the last carcass.

Finally.

He strapped the bow to his back quickly, tugging once to ensure it was secure, before grasping the Seelie blade drawing it out of its sheath quietly. He had already positioned himself above the den for most of the night and would need a few more feet to cover before he could execute the drop.

Alec took three running steps along the ledge before leaping out into the air, bringing the blade in line with the demons chest as he fell.

The demon lashed out with smoky tendrils, splattering the ground with a slick oil like substance. Fire orange started to form at its mouth preparing to ignite the oil slick and burn Alec.

Alec's blade slammed into its chest, momentum carrying him forward and driving the demon down where it remained pinned to the ground thrashing once before stilling.

Drawing the blade carefully through its chest cavity, the oily nature of the demon he had destroyed making it difficult to locate what he was after.

Come on. You all have a center, a heart.

He could see the red magic pooling along the ground, drifting away as the demon began to cool. He would not lose it, not after employing so much patience for this. He doubted he would be able to escape the Institute anytime soon.

He drew a small cut along his right arm before sinking it into the demon ichor, ignoring the part of his mind that was screaming at him to stop. Instead focusing on the gaping hole Edom and then Magnus's magic removal spell had carved into him, removing angelic and demon power respectively. The power flooded in through that small cut.

Smoke and oil.

This magic felt unlike what Edom's souls had provided, lesser. Vastly different than Jace's blood or touch managed to invoke in him. But magic was magic, it was easing the pain throughout his body soaking into his veins. He had decided he was not about to lose control and hurt Jace, which limited his options to this.

The power slowed to a trickle faster than he desired and he yanked his arm out of the ichor filled chest.

He checked his phone for the time. Seven missed calls, three voicemails, all from Jace and Izzy.

Crap. They knew he wasn't there.

He double checked the time on the phone. Hours had passed. He had planned a couple hours at most, what read back to him on the phone was nearly an entire day.

There was no easy way out.

He didn't have a contingency plan, couldn't blame it on staying at Magnus's anymore, and clearly had two people looking for him. A small part of him angrily informed him he always had a plan, but this time he had been so consumed with trying to control a spiraling need he hadn't thought.

O – O – O – O – O – O – O – O

They were still in Magnus's loft waiting for the warlock to complete his tracking spell on Alec. Ancient ornate items scattered throughout the loft, excessive taste everywhere Jace looked.

Jace sat on the sofa twirling his stele through his fingers on one hand, other pressed to his parabati rune trying to sense an iota of emotion from his other half.

Izzy sat messing with her phone having said something about tracking Alec's cell phone through hers. Apparently, something Simon had shown her how to do previously.

Magnus remained cocooned within his bubble of blue magic swirling around the dagger Izzy had given to Magnus to use for the tracking.

"I've located Alexander. He's near the Institute."

Jace launched himself off the couch, landing smoothly. "Where?"

"Opening a portal there now."

Magnus swung one arm in a large circle with a burst of blue magic the portal appeared.

Izzy and Jace both stepped through together. He was ready for anything. Demon, carnage, violence, but not Alec walking down the street holding what appeared to be takeout and a slushie.

Alec paused when the three stepped out of the portal, dark eyes tracking over Izzy, Jace, and Magnus.

Alec rolled his eyes up at the sky before looking back at the trio. "What's the emergency?"

Jace blinked, brow furrowing. He was expecting something like what Jonathan had exhibited before he had metamorphosed into a normal shadowhunter, madness and violence.

Alec had been avoiding him the last two weeks claiming he was catching up on Institute work. Jace couldn't even question him about it because of the increase in demon attacks had left him on mission nearly every day. But Jace had felt it, a magnetic pull to return to Alec and finish what they started.

"You are." Magnus stated when neither Jace nor Izzy answered immediately.

"Well?" Alec brought his arms up, still holding the food awkwardly, as if to indicate here I am.

"We thought something had happened to you?" Izzy swiftly walked to her brother before enveloping him in a hug.

Jace hadn't moved, his earlier panic felt stupid now. But his gut had been screaming at him he was right. He responded with his gut instincts in most battles, allowing training to take over first and foremost. But, this wasn't an enemy, he was trying to fix his parabati.

Jace's gaze raked across Alec's body searching for scrapes or blood. All he found was a black leather jacket smeared with some oil, black pants, his bow and quiver strapped to his back, and a Seelie blade.

Takeout with a Seelie blade, huh, I'm not stupid.

"Been cooped up in the Institute to long, just left to grab something to eat. I know Mom doesn't want me on missions for another week minimum. But I think I'm safe enough to walk a block."

"Have any to share?" Izzy jabbed her brother in the side with an elbow.

"Maybe."

"Well, if my day has been wasted enough. I will be on my way." Magnus sounded irritated to be there now they had found nothing. Magnus swept an arm out opening a portal presumably back to his loft but paused with his back to them. "Alexander, do you remember when you told me "Emotions are nothing but a distraction"?

Jace watched Alec cock his head at the warlock. "Yes."

"Use those emotions." Magnus sounded choked and he quickly stepped into the portal, expensive suit vanishing along with the portal.

Well, that was cryptic.

"Do you ever miss him?" It was Izzy, she was looking at Alec with a strange expression.

"I think I'm supposed to. He reminds me of Jonathan, a bit. Come on, let's go to the courtyard to eat." Alec jogged up the steps to the Institute.

The murderous asshole? Magnus is the exact opposite.

"You know he misses you." Called Izzy after him.

Izzy turned to face Jace, bringing her hands to her hips. "If you have some issues with Alec and being separate from each other to long maybe you should take that up with him. Not drag me and poor Magnus on a wild goose chase." She tilted her head towards the door. "That is not a demon."

Jace turned his head to the side, eyes on the door to the Institute. "Yeah…definitely not a demon."

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

"Well, since you two don't want to drop any hints about your love life. You get to hear about mine." Izzy announced as she lay sprawled out in the grass of the courtyard, face tilted to the sun. Alec leaned against the tree under the shade, while Jace had chosen the wall nearby to use as a backrest. Alec had given up most of his food to the other two and they now sat comfortably in the sunny afternoon shade.

"Iz, do we need to listen to this?" Alec rolled his eyes up before sliding them over to Jace.

Alec's eyes darkened when they met Jace's brown and blue heterochromia, he could see it even with the shade and a couple feet between them.

"Yes. Because frankly the two of you suck as lovers now."

"Hey! I take offense to that!" Jace cried breaking eye contact with Alec to glare at Izzy's form laying in the grass. "I think I've slept with more people than you two."

"It's not a competition, Jace." Alec coldly stated.

Fuck. He should not have just said that.

"Tch. What I mean is I have more experience understanding love." Jace amended.

Oh god, that was worse.

He heard Izzy's quiet laughter as she rolled over to look at Jace bemused. "Care to explain it to those of us who haven't found it?"

"Alec was the one about to get married. Twice. Make him explain it." Jace waved a hand at Alec, praying Izzy took the bait.

"Not much to explain. It ended." Alec said flatly, shoulders hunching in tension.

Jace felt his own body tensing in response, awaiting the violence he knew lurked underneath.

"Well, Simon and I seem to be moving towards love. Maybe that's where I went wrong before. I always had sex and then tried for the relationship. This time I had a friend before we tried for the relationship."

"Yeah. Clary and I were the same. I jumped in blind." Jace forced his body to relax in the sunlight, half closed eyes studying Alec.

"You liked making out with her enough. Everywhere." Alec growled lowly at him.

Would be doing that now.

"Alec has a point. You did manage to screw up the mission with Clary because you couldn't keep it in your pants." Izzy pointed out.

Sonofabitch. Alec told her that!

"I was drugged! And if Alec had decided to actually be helpful and shoved some mental images or cold thoughts through those Seelie rings I might have done better."

"You were-" Alec began.

"Excellent. Let's test it." Shouted Izzy, digging through her bag.

Jace snapped his gaze from Alec to Izzy who was now looking at the two of them like prey. He felt trepidation slither its way through his body tensing his stomach as it went.

"Test what exactly?" Alec growled.

"The Seelie rings. Put them on. Share some thoughts."

"Absolutely not." Alec said, standing up.

A link to Alec's emotions. A direct tie to communicate their fractured bond.

"Sure. You have them with you?" Jace found he had reached out and was holding Alec's wrist to keep him from leaving. The skin was shockingly ice cold, followed immediately by the parabati rune flaring from its pulse and burn, burning hotter.

Alec wrenched out of Jace's grip with a low gasp. Jace could see Izzy raise one eyebrow.

"Yeah. I brought them with thinking we would need them for our goose here." She handed one Seelie ring to Jace, its silvery color gleaming in the sun, vines of metal twining through the loop. She handed the other to Alec, who slowly took it but did not put it on.

"Scared?" Jace challenged as he slid his on over a finger.

"This is pointless. You aren't drugged Jace. This exercise is futile." Alec flatly informed them. "Try it with Izzy."

"I think you're scared I might find some hidden dark secret in that pretty brain of yours." Jace prowled towards him. He could feel the tension in the air between them.

"I'm not doing this with you now."

"You've been doing this with me since the moment I found you." Jace stopped in front of Alec, taking the ring and sliding it over Alec's finger.

Red. Cold. "Use it!" Darkness. "Look what you've become!"

Jace managed to rip the Seelie ring off, head pounding sharply with pain.

Alec handed over his Seelie ring utterly calm and controlled. "Here Izzy, I don't think Jace is up for a trip down memory lane today."

"Your parabati runes are glowing." Izzy pointed out, somewhat happily, standing up quickly.

Jace rubbed his head trying to dampen down the pounding and the chill. "Yeah, I agree with Alec. Let's not do that again."

Shiit. That hurt!

Jace closed his eyes against the memory of Jonathan Morgenstern's voice. That was something he had never wanted in his head again. That laughter, that thing moving his body, nearly killing Clary, piercing Alec's lung with the arrow.

Keep it together.

Deep breathe in.

Clary is safe. Alec is…Alec is…

Jace snapped his eyes open, reaching into himself for the angelic power. He shoved as much of that energy at his parabati rune that he thought it could handle, activating it. Golden light shining brighter than before through their shirts.

The response from Alec was instantaneous, he choked before bending over to vomit up something black and tarry.

Izzy scrambled towards him with a cry.

"Next time you go hunting demons for their magic. You come to me first. Try and tear me up as much as you want. Otherwise, I rip it out the hard way." Jace rolled his shoulders and flexed one hand, bending each finger. They moved at his command.

O – O – O – O – O – O – O

Jace lay staring up at his ceiling, one hand behind his head, his stele remained unmoving in his other hand.

Maryse had placed Alec essentially on house arrest, even had clipped two bands to track him around his wrist and ankle. That had been a five days ago. Izzy had been monitoring his blood each day and had Alec on a strict diet to try and improve blood replenishment to try and curb the magic addiction. Alec had increasingly been getting more violent during that week, resulting in Magnus coming in to place wards around Alec's room. The Silent Brother Zachariah informed them they had everything they needed to cure Alec. He had not explained how, much to Jace's irritation.

Blood. Magic. Soul.

He rubbed the hand holding his stele across his face. He knew he would regret the decision he had arrived at. But first he needed to speak to a certain redhead.

There was a light knock on his door.

"Hey." Izzy spoke softly as she entered before sitting down next to him on the bed, dark hair spilling down her shoulders. She stayed silent seeming to be battling with some internal argument.

"How is he today?" Jace asked, knowing she had just come from Alec's afternoon checkup.

"Physically better, but it's like he keeps slipping. I see glimpses of our Alec and then it's just consumed by this irrational rage. He keeps asking for you."

Jace touched the parabati rune its burn had been increasing lately.

"I think I just make it worse." Jace turned his body away from her.

"Yeah. I told you I don't believe that." She paused taking a deep breath. "I saw how he responded in the cell. I deleted the videos."

Jace flipped over quickly to stare at Izzy wide-eyed. "You knew this whole time?"

That squeak was not his voice.

Izzy smirked but it didn't reach her eyes. "Yeah, I was waiting for one of you two idiots to tell me. But you kept this strange pattern going and look where it got you." She waved one hand for emphasis.

"Iz, I'm not sure what I can do anymore to help him. I was planning on going to the Silent City and speaking with Jonathan about Alec. There is something that maniac knows that we don't."

"You sure distance is what Alec needs right now?" The barb hit hard. All he wanted to do was sit down and talk to Alec without it ending in violence.

"I think what he needs is something I won't give him."

"Have you thought about it?" She held a tight-lipped smile that he immediately grew wary of.

Jace threw himself backwards to lay on his back so he wouldn't need to meet her dark eyes.

"No."

He could see that tight-lipped smile bloom into a devilish grin. She smacked him on the arm. "So what are you waiting for?"

He blinked at her, before scowling. "Have you seen his mental state right now? He's practically insane. He has zero room to even make that decision right now."

"Want me to have Magnus move the wards in his room around to allow you to sleep near him? Like you did outside his cell. His better days are when you visit."

He ran a hand over his face again. Everything was coming back to bite him today. "I don't know. Let me know if you do. I'm going to talk to Clary before heading to the Silent City."

He rolled off the bed heading for the door to accomplish this task.

"Jace, he needs you."

I know.

O – O – O – O – O – O

The piano had been decorated with all his favorite skulls. Jonathan had moved them from their places along the walls into a pristine pile on the piano. Their smiles staring at him in neat rows to provide the audience he played to.

"You have a visitor. Jace Herondale." A Silent Brother's voice bounced through his skull causing him to miss a note.

The rage didn't arrive as it used too, instead he just picked up where he left off continuing to play until he heard movement outside his sanctuary.

Jonathan's hands stilled on the keyboard as he brought his red head up to glance casually towards the door. "Did you break him?" He chuckled darkly.

"I'm here to ask you what happened to his soul in Edom. What you did to bring him back." The dark blonde stood glaring at him, those mismatched eyes blazing with fire.

This took longer than expected.

"You aren't the Clave. If you ask me the right questions I might give you the right answers. Give me the wrong questions and your parabati dies." Jonathan knew he was baiting the blonde but he just couldn't help it. The man had been a thorn in his side as a demon and now was too stupid to figure out instinct.

"What did you do to bring him back?" Jace demanded again, arms crossed in front of him, face hard.

"I built him a cocoon of power. I fed his body any demonic blood I could get my vicious hands on." Jonathan conceded this, it wasn't particularly relevant anyway.

Jace stood for a moment thinking something over. Jonathan observed that jaw clench in tension.

"I need him"

Jonathan despised having a conscience talking to him in Alec or Clary's voice sometimes. One of the irritating things about not being a demon he was still getting used too. He tapped a few notes on the keyboard before speaking. "He protected me, when the souls of Edom were released. They would have destroyed my body and soul, but he brought all that power in and protected me, guided them to change me. Then he harnessed it and destroyed everything I knew. It was glorious to watch. For one brief moment he was a god. Magic like that comes at a steep price, that price was his life."

Jace's arms had dropped into fists. "Then how did he survive? How do I bring him back?"

Jonathan prowled over to the barred door, grinned predatorily when he saw Jace take one step back. "Your parabati bond saved his soul. It's there, locked within your bond seeking a release you will never give him. Your love for Clary will be the death of your parabati. I put him in that chrysalis to give him a chance, a debt owed. That debt was completed the moment he crawled from that shell. I should have let him vaporize himself with that power, it would have been humane. It wouldn't have taken much, just a push."

"So why didn't you!?" Jace snarled, he had grown pale.

Jonathan took a step away, moving back over to the piano, running a hand across the keys gently. "He understood me. He saw that I could be different, provided me a chance to survive. I kept him alive because he chose for me to live. I could only return the favor."

He picked up one of the skulls, examining it mostly for the sake of Jace and to watch him pale further. "Tell me. Has he devoured any demons? Any particular warlock? Has he tried to take you yet? I can imagine the pain of having demonic magic coursing through a body built for angelic blood but with no soul to truly combat it…"

Jace bolted from his view, he could hear his boots pounding down the hallways. The echoes becoming quieter.