2
Edward slipped out of bed before Bella the next morning and stumbled downstairs and into the kitchen, pouring himself a glass of milk before sitting at the table. He hadn't been able to sleep. The combination of nerves, their move to Seattle, the pure distrust coming from Emmett, and the pressure inside his chest had made sleep impossible. While Bella was one-hundred percent sure they were ready to leave Forks together, Edward wasn't as convinced. Truth be told, he was terrified.
Not of living alone with her, but of something happening to him and her being alone. He didn't want her to wake up one morning and find that he'd died in his sleep, or worse. She'd already given up so much for him. Was he being selfish for wanting her to himself, too? Was Emmett right about them not being ready to face the world alone?
"Hey," Alice whispered, pulling his attention to the doorway of the kitchen, where she was standing in one of his tees and a pair of sweatpants that were covered in paint. "You're up early."
"You are, too. Couldn't sleep?" Edward asked, using his foot to push one of the chairs out so she could sit.
Alice smiled as she walked over and sat down, pulling her knees up to her chest. "Too many memories."
"Good or bad?" he asked, frowning.
"Good this time," she said, tucking her arms between her legs and her body. "I could hear Mom laughing and singing. Felt the urge to paint her, so now the east wall of my bedroom is a portrait of her."
Edward nodded and placed his empty glass on the table.
"Tell me not to worry about you," Alice whispered, causing him to look at her. "Tell me you and Bella are going to be okay."
"Would it help if I did?"
Alice nodded. "You know what I think about you moving."
"I do," Edward admitted.
"Then why are you so scared?" she asked.
Sighing, Edward shook his head. "I don't know. Guess I'm starting to think Emmett's right."
"You don't mean that, do you?" At the sound of Bella's voice, Edward and Alice shifted their attention to the doorway of the kitchen, where she stood with a frown on her face. She was wearing one of the only shirts she had that belonged to her father and a pair of Edward's shorts. "Do you really think he's right? That we're not ready to be on our own?"
"I should probably . . ." Alice scrambled to her feet and rushed out of the kitchen, leaving the two of them alone.
"Do you, Edward?" Bella asked again.
"I don't know," he murmured. "I'm just . . ." He brought his hand up to his chest. "I've never been on my own like this, Bella. I was either at home with my mom and dad, in the hospital with nurses and doctors hovering over me, or here with Carlisle and Pix. I just . . . What if something happens and you're at class? Or asleep?"
"Why didn't you say something before we accepted the apartment?" she asked, walking over and sitting in the chair Alice had been sitting in. "We've already paid the deposit, and it's nonrefundable."
"I wasn't scared then, but packing up all our stuff, it just kind of made it real, I guess."
Bella blew out a heavy breath, and looked away from him.
"I'm sorry," he whispered.
"You didn't do anything wrong," she said, sliding her hand across the table and covering his arm. "But are you saying you don't want to go?"
"No, no, that's not what I'm saying," he argued. "I'm just nervous. Aren't you?"
Bella shrugged her shoulders. "Not really."
"I wish I was as brave as you," he mumbled, softly.
"You are," she said with a smile. "I'm just ready to be your wife, to be Bella and Edward, not the other ones who've battled to live more times than they should have to, you know? Guess I finally feel like we're getting a chance to be normal."
"Normal is overrated," Edward scoffed.
"Yeah, I know," she laughed.
Edward brought her hand up to his lips, placing a kiss on her knuckle. "I'm just being silly, I guess."
"No, you're not," she said, quietly. "But we can't stay here, either. Wrapped in this bubble with everyone watching us all the time. It's not fair to us, or to them. They've had to take care of us for far too long, Edward. It's time we take care of ourselves. And both our doctors are in Seattle, so it kind of makes sense for us to be there, doesn't it?"
"You're right. Like I said, just nervous."
Bella smiled and moved so that she was straddling him. "Can I help ease your nerves?"
Edward placed his hands on her hips, shifting her closer. "I'm sure we could work something out."
But before either of them were able to say anything else, the sound of Esme's laughter trickled into the room and Bella scooted off Edward's lap just before she and Carlisle walked into the kitchen. They paused and looked at the two of them before laughing again.
"What's so funny?" Bella asked.
"Nothing," Esme snickered, pouring herself a cup of coffee before settling at the table across from her. "So, y'all ready for today?"
"More than ever," Edward lied.
"What time are you planning on leaving?" Carlisle asked, and when Edward looked at his brother, he saw him holding the carton of eggs he'd bought the day before.
"Couple hours." Edward pushed away from the table and walked over to him, pulling the eggs out of his hand. "I'll make breakfast."
"I'm perfectly capable of cooking my fiancée some eggs, Edward!" Carlisle groused.
"Sure you are," he scoffed, but stopped before he could as much as open the carton and shifted his attention to his brother. "Fiancée?"
Carlisle smiled wider than Edward have ever seen as he nodded. "Yep, Esme has agreed to marry me. Kind of crazy, huh?"
"No." Edward reached out and hugged his brother, unable to keep his years from falling. "I'm happy for you, Car. You deserve some happiness."
"I love her." He spoke just loud enough for him to hear. "She makes everything easier."
Edward shifted his attention to where Bella and Esme were hugging, weeping, and laughing together over the news, and nodded. "I understand."
"I know you do." Carlisle placed his hand on Edward's shoulder, pulling his attention back to him. "I haven't always been the best brother, but I want you to know that I love you, Edward. And I'm happy that you and Bella have this chance to be together. I'm gonna miss you. Especially the way you cook," he teased.
"Yeah, well, I'm sure Esme can teach you a thing or two about cooking."
"Not likely," Bella snickered as she leaned away from her sister. "Why do you think Emmett or Rose did most of the cooking at our house? Esme burns water."
"I do not!" she argued, but then smiled and said, "Okay, one time."
"I'm not even going to ask how you managed to burn water." Edward shook his head and opened the carton of eggs. "Let me make you a real breakfast, Esme."
"Won't say no," she laughed.
Catching Bella's eyes, he smiled, trying to convince both of them that they were making the right decision by leaving Forks.
—WH—
Edward stood in the middle of his bedroom, looking around the room. When they moved to Forks, he'd been less than thrilled with the idea of starting over. Of the second chance they were being given. He didn't want to be the new kids, the one they stared at and whispered about in the hallway. And they had. But she had been different.
Bella never looked at him as the kid with the broken heart, the dead parents, the dysfunctional remnants of a family that was struggling to stay together. She saw him as someone worth loving, someone worth calling her family. Together they healed a part of their souls that had been torn apart by tragedy. She was his everything, the one and only person who saw the fragile, scared boy who still cried in secret over his mother's heart that beat in his chest.
"Everyone's waiting," Bella said, and when he looked over his shoulder, he saw her leaning against the doorframe of their bedroom, her arms crossed in front of her chest. "Tell me you don't feel like I'm forcing this on you."
"I don't," he told her. Bella sighed. "I really don't. I just . . . I don't like change, I guess."
"Me, either," she admitted. "But I love you."
"I love you, too." Edward turned and walked over to her, sliding his hands on her hips as he pressed her against the doorjamb. "For you, I'm willing to do anything."
"But if you're not sure, if you're not ready—"
Edward closed the distance between their lips, his hands gripping her so tight she worried she'd bruise. He brushed his tongue across her bottom lip, and when her mouth opened, he took advantage.
"Jesus, Edward," Bella gasped, moaning when he moved his lips down to her neck, to her shoulder.
"I'm ready to be the man you need me to be," he whispered. "Even if I am scared."
"You've always been the man I need," she murmured. "And I'm scared, too."
"I know." Edward took a step backward and grabbed her hands. "Now, let's go. If we stay any longer, I might not have the courage to actually leave."
Bella smiled as she led him downstairs, to where their families were waiting for them. Emmett and Rose were next to the door, while Carlisle and Esme were hovering at the bottom of the stairs. Jasper and Alice were perched on the edge of the couch, but Edward knew it wasn't really goodbye with them. They'd be branching out on their own soon, too, and understood more than anyone how terrifying this could be.
"Well," Carlisle said, clapping his hands together. "I, um, I filled your car up with gas. Made sure you had plenty of air in your tires."
Edward laughed, softly. "Thanks."
"Just, um, you know be careful, okay? Don't let your meds run out," he added, hugging his brother. "I love you, Edward, and I'm thankful every day for you."
"I love you, too," Edward whimpered, struggling to keep his tears at bay. "Thanks, you know, for making the decision to let me live."
Carlisle smiled. "Well, figured we'd invested a lot of years in you. Might as well keep you around longer."
Edward laughed again as he turned to Esme, giving her a gentle hug and kissing her cheek. "Keep my brother in line, okay? Make sure he doesn't do anything stupid."
"I will." Esme brought her hand up to his face. "Be happy, Edward. You and Butterbean deserve some happiness."
"We'll try," he murmured and stepped back while she and Bella said their goodbyes.
A cleared throat pulled his attention to the doorway, where Emmett and Rose were standing. She looked at him expectantly, while Emmett had his eyes locked on the floor. Edward was the first to admit that Emmett's reaction to their move had hurt. They'd always gotten along. He'd taught Edward some basic sign language when it was believed that Bella would never speak again, and he was there to hold them together when live threw curveball after curveball at them. To have him question his ability to take care of his wife, to love her, hurt.
Rose held out a small, white envelope. "It's not much, but it should help until your loans come through."
Edward took the envelope from her gingerly and opened it, feeling his eyes fly open when he saw the check for almost three thousand dollars.
"Don't make a big deal out of it," Emmett said, causing him to look up at him. "We just . . ." Emmett shook his head. "I know I've been an ass, but she's always needed me, and now she doesn't. Guess it's harder to let go than I thought it would be."
"Nobody is asking you to let go," Edward replied, shifting his from his brother-in-law to his wife. "And I can't promise that I will be able to give her the life she deserves, but I can promise to always love her."
"That's good enough for me," Emmett murmured as Bella walked up to them, slipping her hand into Edward's free hand.
"Are you ready?" she asked him, ignoring her brother.
"Butterbean," Emmett started, but Bella put her hand up.
"I don't want to hear it, Em. You've made your feelings clear, okay?"
Emmett sighed and grabbed her by the shoulders, pulling her into his arms. He kissed the top of her head. "I'm sorry. I know you're not the same woman you were a year ago, or even six months ago. I love you, Butterbean, and I will never stop being your overbearing, pain-in-the-ass brother. It's who I am."
Bella smiled as she tilted her head back and looked up at him. "I wouldn't have you any other way, Em. Love you, Goof ball."
Emmett grinned. "Love you, too, Butterbean."
As Bella and Edward walked out of the house and down to his car, which had been packed to the brim that morning, Edward felt like everything was changing. And it was. They were venturing out into a world on their own, away from the comfort of their families.
Ten minutes later, Edward turned into the parking lot of the hospital, causing Bella to turn and look at him.
"What are we doing here?" she asked, her voice soft and timid.
Edward didn't reply until he parked in one of the empty spaces close to the front doors. "Figured you'd want to say goodbye."
Bella inhaled a sharp breath as she turned and looked at the hospital. He could see the tears in her eyes.
"I'm sorry," he murmured. "I didn't think you'd be upset."
"I'm not," she wept, softly. "I just . . . I never thought about coming by. Does that make me a horrible person?"
"No!" Edward exclaimed, turning toward her. "I just assumed, that's all. We can go, if you want, I mean."
"No, no, I want to stay," she murmured. "Thank you for thinking about this."
"You're welcome." Edward climbed out of the car and jogged around to the other side, opening the door for Bella. "Come on. Let's go see them."
When they stepped off the elevator, Edward wasn't surprised to see Kate leaning against the nurses' desk. He suspected that the little old lady working the information desk often alerted them to Bella's arrival, knowing how hard it was for her to see her parents like this.
Kate looked over her shoulder and smiled as she turned and met them halfway. "I wondered if you'd be stopping by. Today's the big day, isn't it?"
Bella bit her lip and nodded as she looked around. "How are they?"
"Charlie's still the same. No better, no worse," she replied. "Renee, however, is having a great day."
"She is?" Bella asked, her eyes lighting up.
Kate smiled and led them down the hallway to the craft room, where they found Renee sitting at one of the tables with a puzzle spread out in front of her. Unlike before, her hair had been brushed and pulled up into a ponytail, she'd put on clean pajamas and a fresh robe. "Go sit with her."
Bella sucked her bottom lip between her teeth as she walked over to Renee and sat in the chair across from her mother. The woman paused as she reached for a puzzle piece, her blue eyes shifting over to her daughter, and Edward felt himself holding his breath, waiting for the woman to lash out at Bella, like she had before.
"Do you like puzzles?" Renee asked.
Bella nodded.
"So does I," Renee laughed, picking up a piece. "I know they're not very cool, but my Grammie loves puzzles. And every Sunday, we go to her house for dinner, and then she and I work on a new one. Last week, it was this really pretty one with a lot of flowers. It's my favorite so far. Do you like flowers?"
"I do," Bella murmured.
"My boyfriend brings me flowers all the time. Charlie's a romantic like that," Renee said with a sigh as she looked toward the doorway, right at Edward. "Oh, who's he? He's cute."
Bella giggled. "That's Edward. He's mine."
"Oh, lucky girl," Renee snickered, looking back at Bella. She smiled. "Do I know you? You look so familiar."
"I do?" Bella whimpered.
Renee nodded. "Your eyes mostly."
"Oh," she whispered.
"I wonder where Charlie is?" Renee worried, frowning as she looked around the room. "He was supposed to meet me here, and he's never late."
"I'll . . . I'll go look for him," Bella cried, softly as she stood up. "I . . ."
Bella shook her head as she turned and walked over to Edward, pulling him out of the room and into the hallway. Once she was out of view of her mother, she wrapped her arms around him, sobbing into his shirt. Edward cradled her against him, trying to soothe away the tears that fell heavily from her eyes.
"For a moment, it was like I had her back?" Bella wept. "I miss her so much."
"I know," Edward murmured. "I know."
Bella stepped away and dragged her hands over her face and through her hair. "I'm ready to see him now."
"Are you sure?" Kate asked.
"As I ever will be," she replied.
Kate nodded and led them to Charlie's room. As he usually was, Charlie was pursed up in a wheel chair, next to the window. His dark hair was messy, laced with streaks of grey. Like always, his eyes were vacant, dead. He was lost inside himself, trapped in his own personal Hell.
Bella walked over to Charlie, kneeling on the floor in front of him and placed her hands in his. "Hey, Daddy," she whispered, her words thick with tears and pain. "I, um, I'm sorry I haven't been around much lately. Been busy with . . . That's a lie. I haven't been busy with anything. It's just hard. I miss you so much. You were supposed to be here with me, right now, but you're not."
Bella paused and blew out a heavy breath. "Edward and I are leaving Forks. Going to Seattle. College and married life. It's hard to leave, but we have to grow up sometime, don't we?"
Sighing, Bella stood up and placed her hands on either side of her father's face. She leaned in and pressed her lips against his forehead. "I love you, Daddy. I'll come back soon. I promise."
Bella and Edward made their way down the elevator and out of the hospital in silence. As Edward started the car and headed onto the highway, he put his fears and doubts aside. For her, he would put a smile on his face. For her, he'd do anything.
Thank you for all the reviews. This chapter was harder to write than I expected. Edward wasn't very talkative. I hope you enjoyed it, and if so, please let me know by leaving me a review.