9

Bella watched as Edward went through the motions of living. Alice's words three days ago had cut him deep, left wounds that even Bella couldn't heal. Edward had carried the guilt of their mother's death, of their parents' death, for years, and Alice's outburst had done nothing but confirm that, to him at least, he was responsible. And no amount of assurance from Bella would take that hurt away. And boy had she tried.

Sighing, Bella closed her text book, drawing Edward's attention to her. They'd been in the library for hours, but neither of them were really studying. Their focus was on their family, as it always seemed to be. Though Edward would deny it, he worried about Alice, about her falling apart, about losing her to her anger and despair.

"Maybe we should call them. Check in or whatever."

"No," Edward said, his jaw clenching and he looked back down at his history text book.

"But—"

"No," he said, again and his hand coming up to his chest once again.

Bella clamped her lips together and didn't say anything else, knowing that it would just upset him and that would make his chest hurt more. Everything made his chest hurt more, but he refused to call the doctor, refused to admit that he needed help. So, instead of nagging him, she pulled her phone from her bag and checked the time, checked her Facebook account, twitter, Tumbler, and anything else she could think of to pass the time while Edward pretended to study while avoiding the issue. The one thing she didn't do, though, was call Alice and ream her about being a bitch toward her brother.

"Anything exciting going on?" Edward asked, and when she looked up, she saw him watching her with a smile. "Don't tell me: Emmett's sharing more recipes."

"No . . . Well, yes," she laughed. "He's really going overboard with those, isn't he?"

Edward snorted. "He shared one yesterday for gluten free, sugar free, carb free ice cream. In what world does that even sound good?"

"Bizzarro world," Bella scoffed and placed her phone back in her bag.

"No shit," Edward scoffed and turned back to his book. "I'm not getting any work done here. Let's go home and watch a movie."

Bella bit the inside of her lip as she nodded, knowing that if she pressed for him to talk to him they'd just end up fighting. And they rarely fought, but Edward didn't like being weak and his sister's words had made him feel useless. So, she did the only thing she could think of: she kept her fears bottled up inside and let him lead the way. Edward was her everything and she couldn't lose him.

When they walked out of the library, Bella grumbled. The weather had toyed with them over the last three days. Snow that melted before they could enjoy it, rain that never seemed to end, and just enough of a chill that she felt cold. Edward wrapped his arm around her waist as they trekked across campus to their form.

However, when they walked into the building, they stopped dead in their tracks when they saw Jasper seated on the small, danky couch just inside the lobby. He shifted his attention from the floor to them and Bella knew that something bad had happened — something very bad.

"What are you doing here?" Edward asked, his arm tightening around her. "Where's Pix?"

Jasper stood and placed his hands on his hips, reminding Bella of the way his father would stand when scolding them for breaking a rule. "I don't know."

"What do you mean 'you don't know'?"

"Alice took off last night."

"What? Why? Where'd she go?" Edward demanded.

"Don't you think if I knew the what, why, and where I'd be with her instead of sitting here waiting for you?" Jasper dug a piece of paper out of his back pocket and held it out to Edward, who took it immediately. "Came home from the shop around eleven and found this on the fridge. I tried calling, but she left her phone in the apartment."

"What's it say?" Bella asked as Edward unfolded it.

"Jasper—Don't bother looking for me. You won't find me. I won't be responsible for your misery, too. I love you, but you deserve more than me. Tell my brothers I'm sorry I was ever born. Life would have been easier without me. Always yours, Alice." Edward let the paper slip from his hand as he stumbled backward. "Jesus fucking Christ."

"I tried to get a hold of Carlisle," Jasper said, picking up the note. "But the call when straight to his voice mail and he hasn't called me back. Police say there is nothing they can do since she left on her own. I . . . I don't know what to do."

"So you came to me," Edward said, causing Jasper to look up at him. "You thought I'd be able to help, right? That I'd have some great insight into where my sister would go, what she's thinking? Sorry to disappoint, but I don't know."

"I guess so," Jasper muttered. "Guess I was wrong to come here."

Jasper shoved the note into his back pocket and started toward the door, which Edward moved out from in front of, but Bella put her hand up to stop Jasper.

"Stop, both of you just stop!" Bella turned to Edward. "I know you're upset, you're hurt because of what she said, but Alice needs our help."

"She doesn't need me," Edward argued. "I'm the one that hurt her, remember? My stupid, broken heart caused the accident that killed our parents, that burned her. Me and my wasted life."

Bella stumbled backward, shocked by the amount of venom in his words. "Wow. Never thought I'd see the day when you'd throw yourself such a pity party." When he started to defend himself, she held her hand up, stopping him. "I get that she hurt your feelings. It was bitchy, mean, and uncalled for attack. And when we find her, you two need to sit down and hash out your shit because you've spent your life trying to stay alive, trying not to be the burden on your family. It sucks that your heart isn't healthy, that you've had to suffer through more than most people will in their lifetime, but wallowing in self-pity isn't going to you any good. Now, Alice needs us and it's clear that we're the only ones who can help her. Your brother, my sister and brother, Rose — none of them seem to get it, so stop this shit now."

Edward looked ashamed of himself as he took a step forward and nodded.

Bella turned to Jasper, holding her hand out to him. "Come on. We'll help you find her."

"I don't know where to even start looking," Jasper said as he followed them down the hallway to their apartment.

Bella unlocked the door and gestured for him to go on inside, which he did, but when Edward started to follow, she placed her hand on his chest, drawing his attention to her. "I'm sorry if my words hurt you."

"You could never hurt me," he whispered, bringing his hand up to her face. "Thank you for making me see what an ass I was being."

"You're welcome, I guess."

Edward and Bella entered their apartment and found Jasper standing in the middle of their living room. He looked like a little lost puppy. It was the same look that he had on his face after their parents fell, after his mother and father died, after Bella lost her voice. It broke Bella's heart to see him broken again. Alice had been like a breath of fresh air after drowning under a sea of pain and heartache. Jasper had fallen hard, needed her in the same way Bella needed Edward.

"You've got to have some idea where she is," Bella said, drawing his attention to her and Edward. "Somewhere special that the two of you always went."

"I already checked around Forks, around Port Angeles, we never came here and didn't go anywhere else. I just . . . I don't know."

"I do," Edward said, dropping his backpack next to the door. "She went home."

"She's not in Forks," Jasper groused.

"That's not home," Edward quipped. "She went to Chicago, to our parents."

"What makes you so sure?" Jasper asked.

"Because it's what she always does when she's overwhelmed and feels herself cracking. It's why she paints the accident. She needs to feel close to them, close to . . . close to home, to when she felt loved and safe. That's where she's going."

"Okay, but how would she get there? I called all the airlines but they wouldn't tell me if she had taken a flight or not. She didn't have the money for a ticket, either. And there are no buses out of Port Angeles that head toward Chicago."

"She probably went to Forks and used Carlisle's credit card. He leaves it in his dresser so he won't be tempted to use it. She could have waited until he left for his shift and the house was empty and then went in to use it. Booked her flight and came to Seattle."

"When was the flight out of here to Chicago?" Bella asked, rushing to her laptop and quickly logging into her account. "How much of a head start could she have?"

"I don't know, but we need to get to Chicago," Jasper insisted. "But how? I don't have that kind of money."

"Yeah, neither do we," Bella murmured, biting the inside of her lip. She shifted her eyes to Edward and sighed. "I'll call Phil. He'll help."

Neither Edward nor Jasper said anything while Bella made the call to Phil, but when his voicemail picked up, she hung up without leaving a message. Frustrated, she rushed into the bedroom and dug her father's old duffle bag out of the closet. She grabbed a handful of her and Edward's shirts, a few pairs of pants, some socks, and underwear for the two of them and shoved them inside the bag. Then, going into the kitchen, she grabbed all of their medication and added it to the bag before zipping it and carrying it into the living room.

"Come on. We'll go straight to his office."

"What makes you think Phil will give us the money?" Edward asked, relieving her of the bag.

"Blind hope," Bella replied, sadly. "I don't know, but he's the only person we have right now. Our family — well, they've failed us one too many times, so let's not bother them again."

—WH—

When they arrived at Phil's office, they found his waiting room filled with patients. His receptionist, Jane, smiled at the three, and waved them through to his office, knowing they wouldn't have shown up without an appointment if it hadn't been important. Bella felt horrible for asking Phil for money, but Alice was family and she's already lost too many members of her family.

They didn't have to wait more than a few minutes when the door to his office was thrown open and Phil rushed inside.

"Are you okay? What's wrong?" he asked, frantic as he shifted his attention from her, to Edward, and then to Jasper.

"We're fine," Bella insisted. "It's Alice, actually."

"Alice?" he questioned. "What about Alice?"

Bella released a deep breath as she stood and faced him. "She's . . . Well, she's kind of in the middle of a meltdown and took off. Edward thinks she's returned to Chicago because that's where their parents are buried, and . . . and Well, we don't have the money for plane tickets, so . . ."

"So, you came to me," he said, quietly.

"Yeah," she murmured. "We wouldn't have, but . . . Well, she's important to us."

"No, of course." Phil dug his wallet out of the back pocket of his dress pants and slipped out a black, shiny credit card. The kind you only read about in books about wealthy men who seduce young, naïve girls. In addition to the card, he handed her at least three hundred dollars in cash. "Just in case."

"I . . ." Bella wanted to refuse the cash, but knew they'd need it. Closing the distance between them, she wrapped him in a hug. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, sweetheart." Phil kissed the top of her head while returning the embrace. "Your father would have given you everything he had for her."

He would have, Bella thought. Charlie was a good man like that, just like Phil was. Maybe that's why they'd always been such good friends, and why Phil loved her father so much. Sighing, Bella leaned away from him. Phil had been cheated by love, but he never complained.

"We need to hurry, but thanks again."

"Be safe, Bella. Let me know if you find her, okay?"

After promising to keep him in the loop, Bella, Edward, and Jasper rushed out of his office, to the elevator, and back to the car. Their ride to the airport was tense and awkward. Bella considered trying to call her sister, or even Emmett, but in the end decided not to. They had made it clear that Alice wasn't as important to them as she and Edward, which only angered Bella. How dare they put so much importance on them and leave Alice in the cold.

Alice needed them now more than ever, and Bella wasn't going to be one more person letting her down.