A/N: One of my favorite episodes but that ending! It's the absolute worst honestly. I hate Nicole and I actually kind of hate Sam too, but we gotta put up with him, right? lol xx Mariah

Sam had driven off, his mind finally set on something good for what felt like the first time, but that was probably just another side effect of the amnesia. All he knew was that he had to find Nicole, and the more time he spent around Melinda, the more he was clouded with this strange pull toward her.

It made no sense to him. None of it did. He hardly knew this woman save that she just lost her husband and yet she was always doing the nice things that most people didn't care to do for strangers. But there had to be a reason for it all, right? He couldn't be sure of anything. The only family he had, gave up on him so quickly that if he happened to find Nicole, eventually even Melinda would too. He didn't know who he was, let alone who everyone also wanted him to be.

The only thing he was sure of was that he couldn't remember anything anyone longed for him too. Especially not his family so maybe it was better, easier for them to keep him at a distance. As long as he called. Which he did, but it only ended up making him feel more guilty in the end.

It was all different with Melinda. She was the only person who didn't make him feel crazy or ask him for anything he didn't have. She didn't want anything from him and that was hard to come by. He cherished their time together, but somehow it felt like it might be for all the wrong reasons. Were his feelings for her real or just some therapeutic process his fragile mind was grasping onto out of fear of being alone?

What was it that Eli was always rambling on about? Past-life regression? What did that even mean? All he could remember was tainted or couldn't have happened to him. Is that what it meant?

Sam didn't know anything anymore it seemed, at least according to everyone he was supposed to have known. Except for Nicole. She was the only person left on his list of people to try and get in touch with. He could only hope she'd have some kind of answer to the questions he had, even if he might not deserve it.

Melinda stood there feeling empty and completely alone. There was nothing left to do with Sam that she could think of or maybe she was just running out of hope. How could she stand in his way? He was on a mission to find someone, anyone other than her for whatever reasons.

She hadn't fully paid any attention to what he'd told her past the mention of his travels to Raleigh. All she felt was her entire world crashing around her again. Was Delia right all along? Was she truly just in denial? Was Jim gone? Did she just hallucinate it all in her neverending grief and was only confusing Sam more?

Nothing made sense to her anymore. She just wanted her life back, was it supposed to be that hard? She wanted her husband back. For someone to see her the way he did. To listen to all of her problems and hold her in their arms the way he always did. Was that truly gone forever?

Sam looked like Jim for fleeting moments and then it would all come crashing down like some sick taunted nightmare on loop in her head because he didn't act like her husband. Until he did. And she would look into those eyes of his and see Jim again. Could she live on those crumbs for the rest of her tortured life? All he seemed to remember was that he had some sort of connection to her and bits of medical knowledge. Why only that? Or was he too afraid to tell her more?

She wouldn't know. He wanted to find his wife-to-be and it was driving her positively insane. There had to be something she was doing to drive him away. Something Jim hadn't cared to notice and that Delia couldn't help her fix, no matter how hard the woman tried.

It only made her miss Andrea more than ever. She would've known how to cheer her up. Hell, she would've moved in with her to make sure she was alright. If it was possible, Andrea could do it. Nothing would have stood in her way.

Why was it that everyone she loved ended up dead? The only people who cared and accepted her for who she was from the beginning were now gone.

Grandma, Andrea, and Jim. There was no one left. Life had gone so far when she thought she'd still had time. Now she was all alone. What was holding her back from giving up? Maybe that would be for the best?

Until Jim... he was there, kneeling in front of her and for a moment she thought it was all in her head until he reached up to wipe away her falling tears. He had come back to find her crying her eyes out on their bench in the town square. How was she going to explain herself?

"Why are you here?" Melinda asked defensively, even though he'd done nothing wrong. "I thought you were leaving town Sam."

"Something inside told me to turn around and then I saw you here," he sighed, moving to sit beside her. "Looks like I was finally right about something, and it is just awful. Is this my fault?"

Yes. "No," she lied because he would never understand why. At least not yet. "This week has just been so long and I had to go to the fire station. My husband works... worked as a paramedic and volunteer firefighter there before he died. So it was a lot for me to be there again. Too many memories. And then seeing you all excited about Nicole just brought up all of the emotions I've been shoving down."

Playing the grieving widow was an easy cop-out because she wasn't exactly lying. Jim was all that she could think about.

Sam could only nod and she knew it was out of pity. Poor Melinda, the woman who didn't charge him rent. "I can only imagine. I wish there was something I could do to help," he offered, but she didn't know what to even say to him.

Remember who you are? Come back to me? She wished more than anything she dared to say this to him but knew far better than to do so. It would only make him pull away more or worse altogether, and she definitely couldn't handle losing him completely. At least not right now.

"There is nothing that could bring me comfort except seeing him again. He was the air that I breathed and now... there is no air," she whispered and glanced over at him, the closest thing to it. "I'm sorry. You were just being kind."

"Do you need a ride home? It's the only thing I can think to offer, with my amnesia and all," he said, smiling and holding his hand out to her once he stood up. "Plus you don't look like you should be driving right now."

Melinda laughed. At least he kept his humor. "That would be wonderful," she said, taking his hand. "Thank you."

"It's the least I can do after all you've one for me," he said as he led her back to his truck. "I'm sorry that you have had such a rough week... and here I am rubbing my excitement in your face."

"Sam, don't ever apologize or pause your life because of me. A possible breakthrough with your memory is something to be excited about," she said even if she wished it was about her and not Nicole. "I can handle it."

He opened the door for her. "You are far too selfless, Melinda. I hope it all works out for you, truly. You deserve every bit of happiness for all the good you do," he said, making her blush.

"And how do you know that I do it out of selflessness? What if I'm trying to make up for something?" She countered, but he just laughed and closed the door, and when he leaned down through the open window it reminded her so much of Jim that she had nearly leaned in to kiss him.

"I might have amnesia, but you're a good person Melinda," he said, but she could tell that Sam knew from the way she'd leaned in and how close their faces still were, what was on her mind. His hand reached over to caress her cheek and she wouldn't have stopped if he had kissed her just then, but he didn't. "I'm sorry. I don't know why I did that." He didn't move his hand away. Thank God. SHe didn't want him to. "I should probably take you home."

"Don't worry," she said, holding only moments like this. It would all make sense one day. "It's okay, Sam."

As much as it hurt, Jim was in there somewhere. She knew it. He just had to be.

Sam was running low on hope. Nicole had written him off as a liar who broke her heart again. So was this his punishment? To spend the rest of his life feeling guilty for things he couldn't even remember? Somehow it all didn't feel like enough when he was around Melinda. She was completely selfless at every turn despite the world repeatedly kicking her while she was down.

At least she was with him. It made this trip worthwhile.

They loaded up the furniture rather quickly before packaging up the more valuable things in bubble wrap for safekeeping and then into boxes. Melinda seemed preoccupied but he pushed it to the back of his mind on account of thinking about Nicole. What could he have done that was so terrible that she would think he'd fake having amnesia? Why would anyone lie about that? It seemed ridiculous.

Almost as much as Melinda, who seemed willing to send valuable coins to people on account of goodwill. Maybe he had a thing or two to learn from her. He watched from afar as he packed boxes that she walked around with a little notebook, writing down things here and there and whispering to herself every so often, and when she finally noticed him she smiled and came over to him.

"Sorry. I get a little wonky when running numbers and cataloging," she said, flushing in embarrassment but he found that cute. Who was he to judge her? "I hope none of the big pieces were too heavy? Usually, I would've had my husband with..."

He nodded. "It wasn't any problem, but you should know you can always talk about him around me," he told her. "I'm a blank slate with no friends except you. No judgment here."

"Thanks, Sam. I appreciate it," she smiled. "But we should get the rest of this stuff loaded up before it gets too late. I still have a few more errands to run before we get back on the road."

"Of course. Just order me around," he said and packaged up the box he was working on.

Everything besides ridding herself of several ghosts today along the road, she had gotten nowhere with Sam. Was she an awful person for being happy that Nicole wanted nothing to do with him? Despite how it made him feel it seemed to have only pushed them closer together. Which gave Melinda more time to see if he would finally remember who he was. She could see that the bits and pieces of the man she loved the more time she spent with him, despite the constant heartbreaking reality every time he would think his feelings for her somehow had to be related to someone else.

But when he came to defend her without even needing to ask her what had happened, her heart soared in more ways than she would ever admit. It was something Jim would've done. He tended to lead with aggression when protecting her was on the forefront of his mind. So she'd gotten him out of there as quickly as possible when she had the chance and made him get checked out at the urgent care to make sure he was okay after getting hit.

They were silent on the way out of the hospital when she noticed him wipe a shaken look off his face and now she felt even more guilty. It seemed like being around her also only brought his worst memories back to him.

"I'm sorry about-" They both began to say.

Sam looked confused likely as much as she did but spoke first when she didn't. "What do you have to be sorry about?" He asked.

"Look at you! That guy punched you and how you've remembered that day..." She sighed and trailed off. The day you died. Why did he have to remember that before her? Was this some sick joke?

"I don't know what I'm remembering right now but what I do know is that I'm glad I took that punch instead of you because then I really would've had to mess that guy up," he said, jokingly. "Don't worry about it, Mel."

When had he started calling her that? Just now? Was she going completely nuts?

"Are you sure? You've had two head injuries in the last few weeks, Sam," she lightly scolded him. "I know you were only trying to protect me but I can hold my own and that doesn't make it any less stupid. You could've gotten hurt."

"Of course not. You are your own woman and I should've checked in with you before I did anything," he agreed with her, likely trying to ease any tension between them for the rest of the trip. "Just punch me yourself next time."

Melinda laughed at him. "Don't tempt me," she teased him, taking the truck keys out of his hand. "And there is no chance you're driving right now. I can get us at least a few more hours closer to Grandview, but I know of a good place we can stop if we need to." She wanted him to say yes. Jim would have. He always was the type to want to extend their trips out of town together if they could, but they hardly ever got that chance.

Sam wanted to get back home and she understood that. Nicole had crushed him in a similar but worse way than his family already had and he probably thought he deserved it for whoever he had been as a person before the motorcycle crash.

"Maybe," he muttered quietly. "Let's see how far we can get now that the after-work traffic should have passed."

"Sure thing, but hey... I know you were looking to find answers today and it may not be my place to say this but you shouldn't let whatever it is Nicole said to you go to heart," she confessed, hoping at the very least it would cheer him up after everything today. "You've been through hell these past few weeks and screw her for not believing you. No matter what you might've done there is no excuse for that."

He sighed. "I think I'm rubbing off on you. Your selflessness is waning, Mel." They both laughed and she tugged him toward the moving truck. "Come on, that was hilarious."

She rolled her eyes, even if she agreed. "Get in the truck."

Melinda could hardly keep her eyes open when she finally agreed to let Sam drive, and it was hardly twenty minutes later when she fell asleep on his shoulder. He didn't mind. It felt kind of nice after how awful today had been for him.

Nicole, like the rest of the people from his past, wanted nothing to do with him. Melinda Gordon seemed to be the exception. So she could sleep back to Grandview and it wouldn't matter to him. She deserved it, as much as he would miss her with his jacket to make her comfortable.

It felt familiar, all of it, the feel of her asleep against him and the smell of her shampoo. But how? It had to be Nicole. Did Melinda just look like her? Was that it?

His parents hadn't even cared to mention her. Was there a reason behind that or were they just trying to control him because they hadn't liked her? With Nicole seeming to be a dead-end, it was hopeless.

Maybe he would never know but at least he had Melinda. She was something. He didn't know where he'd be or what he'd do without her. She'd always been there for him since he woke up. No matter what. Why was that? It was a dedication that he just wasn't sure he'd ever understand.

Sam just hoped that he would be able to help her in return someday.

She woke to the smell of coffee and the ramblings of a sports commentator, but it was something she'd grown accustomed to on the road with Jim, and turned her face into the warmer of his sweater when the sun got too bright for her.

He laughed, "You finally awake, sleeping beauty?"

"Maybe," she yawned. "Depends on if you got me any coffee... how far out from home are we?"

"French vanilla cream and two sugars. Just the way you like it," he said, making her hum in pleasure but she continued to keep her face fucked into his chest. "We're a few hours out from Grandview still. I pulled over for a bit not long after you fell asleep at a rest stop. I got jealous."

Melinda nodded and turned up her head to kiss him before remembering it wasn't her husband when she felt Sam's stubble-free face against her lips. He didn't remember who he was and it wasn't Jim, despite the coffee order he shouldn't know, the same cologne he wore, and the same blaring loud football station. He wasn't her husband. Not really.

"I'm so sorry," she apologized quickly before grabbing her coffee. "I thought you were... never mind. It doesn't matter."

"You thought... what?" Sam looked more confused than upset and thank goodness for that. "That your morning breath might kill me? Come on, Mel, just lighten up and try me. Are you telling me that you don't feel anything between us? No judgment, remember?"

Melinda shook her head and drank deep in the gas station coffee instead. Although Sam did have a point. She didn't feel something for him but it wasn't because she wanted to get over her husband.

He turned down the radio and waited, just Jim would have. No pressure. No words. Just waiting, patiently for her.

"When Jim and I would travel together he would listen to these same sports stations and he would always get me coffee..." She trailed off for a moment when her emotions got the best of her, her eyes welling up with teats. "I would usually wake up on his shoulder like today so just for a minute... it felt like I was with him again. So I'm sorry that I did that. I don't mean to confuse you. It just felt... I don't know."

"Familiar? Yeah, I know the feeling," he sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose and shaking his head. "I felt the same way with you asleep on my shoulder. The smell of your perfume and shampoo... everything. It all got to be so much that I had to pull over. Why is that?"

That almost made it worse. He was still in there. Somewhere.

"Remember what I told you last night? Don't base who you are off what everyone is telling you," she told him. "Follow what you feel. It has to mean something."

"Easier said than done, but Mel? Don't apologize for kissing me," he chuckled. "Even if it wasn't meant for me, I'll tell you if you've done something wrong and I can't think of one reason why any kiss from you would ever be considered that."