AN: Trigger warning.
Death Rattle
By: anybodihearme
Originally Uploaded: Saturday, January 14, 2017
"Have you ever wondered what death feels like?" Eddward asked into the phone, his voice shattering like a piece of glass with every word that he spoke.
"Ed-"
"Doctors may be able to tell whether or not the pain that accompanies death is physically painful; however, in all actuality, they don't know whether or not it's actually painful for the person who is dying." His voice shook into the phone and Ed could practically feel the ice on his breath. "It probably doesn't even hurt," he finished.
"Edd!" Ed yelled in the phone, pushing his foot down harder on the gas pedal. "Please, don't do this." Ed was on the verge of tears as his voice broke with every syllable that escaped his lips.
"You don't understand," Ed whispers into the phone. "It could actually be peaceful." Ed could hear the sobs catch in Eddward's throat as he kept talking and rationalizing his thoughts with every word he carefully chose to speak. "There's a phenomenon called a death rattle and it's commonly known as the gurgling sound a person makes in their throat moments before they die." A soft chuckle escaped his lips and Ed could hear the clang of heavy metal knocking against porcelain. "It's amazing; however, rattles can come in all shapes and forms, not just the gurgling sound someone makes before they die, but also in the sound of their voices as they speak." Sniffles filled the line and Ed could only imagine Eddward wiping his face to dry the tears the spilled down his cheeks.
"Listen," Ed spoke into the phone, only imagining the dreadful thoughts that could possibly be filling Eddward's mind and encouraging - no guiding - his actions. It pained his heart to no end but there was nothing he could do but listen to Eddward break over the phone. "The moment that bullet goes through your head, you'll wish you'd never pulled the trigger. When that chair leaves your feet, you'll struggle to get back onto solid ground. When you cut too deep, you'll fight to close the wound. When you swallow one too many capsules, you'll try to regurgitate everything you swallowed." A slight hitch caught in Ed's throat making him see the world clearly through Eddward's eyes for once. "I know it's been hard but it get's better." Ed's voice broke and the tears fell freely from his face. "Don't let this decision be your last before you see it." Ed's voice trembled as he heard the sobs escape Eddward's lips and shuffling around in the background; slowly killing him from not knowing what the sound was; or rather, not being able to identify what the sound was, or where it was exactly coming from. "It get's better."
"Ed-"
"Listen," he paused. "Do you hear that?" The line went quiet but Ed could briefly hear Eddward shaking his head. "That's the sound of your heart. That's the sound of your words leaving you and registering in my ears. That is the sound of it getting better. You are not alone and you never have been or will be." Ed's voice rose in octaves as nothing but the truth left his lips. "I will hold your hand and guide you out of this if I have to," Ed admitted, pressing the gas pedal with unimaginable force. The shuffling sound that continued to haunt Ed's ears filled the line once again, making Ed shudder and his knuckles turn white from his tight grip on the wheel. "Please, don't let this be the last decision you make," Ed cried, running every red light and stop sign. The line went quiet as Ed listened to Eddward silently contemplate everything in his world.
"It's not my last decision," Eddward whispers. "It's more of a liberation," he glorifies but his voice all but betrays him with the throaty rattle it finishes with.