"While they relax and watch some cartoons, let's see if we can sneak you in and get your Normality and Luminal engine installed. Inferno will have to wait until you've adjusted to having an active engine and mastered its use," Maggie said as she grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the hotel. "I mean I could install the Inferno engine today as well, but it makes it a lot more difficult to master an engine when you have two active ones without any experience operating them. It's far too easy to mistake the energy from one for the other and you end up setting things on fire when you don't mean to and while that makes for some funny PSA videos for the company, it's not what I would suggest for active agents."
"Yeah, I need the Luminal engine to enhance Healing Hands, while I chose the Inferno engine because it grants immunity to the one type of radiation that the Luminal engine doesn't," Adam agreed, as the portal to the island opened in front of them with a flicker of will. "So, Inferno isn't something I need right away, it'll just be useful for the future."
"Each ascension engine is a powerhouse in and of themselves," Maggie lectured, sounding more than a little frustrated as they stepped through the portal, "and I've yet to see an agent actually try and truly master one. You are going to be connected to the very concept of light and fire themselves, in a matter not so different from the way a deity accesses them. They are called Engines of Ascension for a reason!"
"I didn't realize they were that powerful," Adam admitted, closing the portal behind them, "though the name should have clued me in, but let's face it, gods have centuries to master their domains while agents are usually thrown right into the thick of it. Do you have any study guides or even brochures on how to use an engine?"
Maggie frowned in thought and then took a deep breath and sighed heavily. "No, but that would be a really good idea. Sorry to blow up on you like that, it's just really annoying how such a powerful tool we provide is treated like some minor ability by the majority of the agents who receive them."
"Until I master it, all it will be is a minor ability," Adam said with a shrug. "Thankfully I'll have some time to work on it before being dropped in. I'm planning on sharing it with Meg and hitting a world filled with zombies, so we have some convenient targets to practice on."
Maggie just stared at him for a second before blinking and shaking her head. "World Gates are supposed to require massive amounts of research to target the desired world and rare and expensive materials to open a gate to a new address. I really need to get Riley over here so we can examine it in detail and figure out why it's operating the way it does."
"Just make sure you don't break it," he said seriously. "I know exactly how valuable a gift it is and am very grateful for that."
"We'll be careful," Maggie promised, before drawing her hammer from her belt and tapping the air in front of her, causing it to shimmer and form a portal. "Now, let's get you set up."
Adam followed her through the portal into a large lab. At least he guessed it was a lab as he could see a number of workstations with equipment that was clearly scientific in nature though more advanced than anything he'd seen outside of a movie and they often had silver runes on them that gleamed in the florescent light shining down from the banks of lights overhead. Of course, the thing that most drew his attention was the marble table in the center of the room, it was surrounded by circles of glowing runes carved in the floor and there was a closed but active portal in the air above it that faced down, providing a mirror of the table itself.
"Is this our potential Robby?" a female voice said from behind the pair, causing him to jump a little.
Adam turned and saw a young woman who he would have guessed was an Alice Lidell analogue, based on the Disney version with her long blonde hair in curly ringlets and bright blue eyes, if not for the Labcoat and steampunk goggles. "Riley?" he guessed, knowing she probably didn't like being reminded of her time as Bonesaw.
"That's me," she said cheerfully. "Here for your illegal engine insertions?" she joked.
"Was the bribe big enough?" he asked with a smile, finding she was a lot more personable than he'd expected with all she'd gone through.
"Vibranium enhanced by the touch of Bastet herself?" Riley asked with a smirk. "Yes, it was just enough for an hour of my time. So, tell me how you feel about going Robby."
Surprised at the sudden change of topic he considered the matter for a moment before replying, "It's a big waste of time?" He shrugged. "I've gained a lot more than I lost, so why risk what I have for revenge against someone that probably doesn't even comprehend why humans would be upset at his actions? A more fitting revenge would be pranking him in such a way that he was forced to understand how his actions are perceived by humanity in general… and that sounds like way too much effort, plus I'd probably have to understand him a lot more to actually do it in a way that he would comprehend. Yeah, I think I'll just give it all a miss and get on with enjoying my life."
Riley tapped her chin as she contemplated his response. "That's a lot more sane and rational than I'd expect from an agent."
Adam shrugged, not sure what else he could say.
"Well, I'm sold. Strip and hop up on the table," Riley said cheerfully.
Adam's clothes vanished and he climbed on the stone table, finding it surprisingly warm against his skin. He shifted around as Maggie and Riley had him lay down and carefully positioned him under the portal's mirrored surface.
"Okay, stay right there," Riley said, before tapping the table and causing metal restraints to pop out of the table and secure him in place.
"Um… do you need my safeword?" he joked nervously.
"No and I'd ignore it if you did say it," Riley told him with the same cheerful grin she'd greeted him with.
Maggie sighed. "Stop that," she told her coworker. "This is going to hurt like you wouldn't believe, but also in a way you won't remember," she promised, looking him in the eyes to let him know she was being serious. "It's only the cranial implants we have that allow us to work with a Normality engine as you will forget you are in pain continually while we install it, so except for a sore throat you should be fine."
"Sore throat?" Adam asked.
"From the screaming," Riley said with a grin, "and it's not a long continual scream or anything, it's more of a surprised scream that wavers in and out as you are surprised by the pain over and over again, even while forgetting why you are screaming. I'll record it for you, it's hilarious!"
Maggie groaned. "Ignore her. This is a relatively quick process, just try and relax."
Adam nodded. "I'm ready." He watched Riley gesture and the silver portal turned pitch black and the faces of the two young women lost all animation. Something came through the portal… Why was he strapped down? Pain! Where was… Pain! Had he gotten drunk… Pain! Why was he gasping for… Pain!
Adam blinked and looked around. "Okay, when are we going to start," he rasped out, before swallowing with a wince and closing his eyes so he could focus on moving the healing light he could generate into his throat. He let out a relieved sigh as the soreness faded and realized what had happened. "I assume we already finished installing the Normality engine?"
"I'm impressed," Riley said with a broad smile, "most people take at least a couple of minutes to recall what was going on after installation. Do you remember anything else?"
"You gestured and the portal opened, you both lost all expression, and something came out of the portal…" he said slowly, trying to remember, but there was a haze about the memory making it hard to focus. He found his mind drifting away from the subject and wondering what he had been thinking about.
"Can you remember anything about what came out of the portal?" Riley asked, seeing he was already losing focus and relying on her own implants to keep her mind on the topic.
"Portal?" he asked before remembering what they were talking about. "Yeah… it was… not a sphere," he offered lamely, blinking in confusion.
"That's a lot more than anyone else has ever gotten," she said cheerfully. "Hey, I can remember it too! It's not a sphere!"
Maggie nodded and ran a hand through her hair. "That's helpful in so much as we now know we can retain details about what it isn't, but that still runs into the problem of us not being able to remember what it is, because even if we eliminate all the other options, we'll still be unable to connect to what it is."
"True, but it is still an additional data point," Riley said with a smile, "and you know I love my data points!"
"Happy to help, are we going to free me now?" Adam asked hopefully, wiggling a little in his restraints.
"No, because now we need to install the Luminal engine," Riley told him, "and this time there won't be any forget field, so the effects are a lot less funny."
"May I request all the drugs?" he asked, hoping against hope that the answer would be yes.
"Sorry, the power you're asking for is not a painless process," Riley said, "but look on the bright side!"
"The bright side?" Adam asked.
"That's the joke," Riley said, surprised he hadn't gotten it, "we're sticking a Luminal engine in you, thus 'the bright side."
Maggie groaned.
"What? You told me to try and make a joke to put the test subjects at ease," she complained.
"A for effort, C Minus for execution," Adam told her, "but I appreciate the attempt. You should probably run the jokes past Maggie in advance. I have a feeling you'll have to dumb them down a lot for us agents to get them."
"I hadn't thought of that," Riley admitted thoughtfully. "I'll do that in the future, but back to the topic at hand. We are giving you more power than some gods start out with, try not to be a whiny little bitch about it."
Adam laughed. "Yeah, A Pluses all around for that one. Let's do this!" He closed his eyes and braced himself, missing the sight of Maggie face palming at her boss's attempts at encouragement somehow actually working.
Riley giggled and gestured, the silver portal turning gold as she pulled her goggles down over her eyes and liquid light poured out of the portal like molten metal.
Adam began to relax as what felt like warm maple syrup was poured over his chest. It was so bright that he could see it through his closed eyelids. In fact he could see a spot so bright in the stream of light that it seemed dark. As the spark of light lowered to his chest it began to feel uncomfortable hot and then when it touched him it burned.
It turned out to be even more painful than Adam knew but couldn't really remembered from the Normality engine, but thankfully he passed out just as soon as the option became available, diving into unconsciousness like an Olympic swimmer going for the gold.
1/2 an hour later
"Poke him somewhere sensitive," Riley ordered as Adam groggily came to.
"Hwah?" he asked blurrily, noticing he was no longer being restrained and feeling like he'd fallen asleep in the sun without putting on sunscreen before being ran over by a steamroller made of taffy that had ripped out most of his body hair.
"The Luminal engine has been installed," Riley told him, "its operation is instinctive, but I'd suggest a lot of practice if you expect to get anything other than the most basic functions out of it."
"I've already talked to him about it," Maggie offered as she waved her hammer over him as he sat up. "Engines are criminally underused, but he has a point about most agents not having enough time to train with them and it's not like we have a training program for them."
"That's because each connection is unique," Riley lectured her. "The connection, much like fingerprints, is completely unique because of the myriad of factors involved in the installation and the differences in each person. Even clones only have a vaguely similar connection."
"But aren't there enough similarities in the most basic uses to provide a starting point?" Maggie suggested, helping him off the table.
"Which are instinctive so there is no point in writing them down," Riley replied. "Go over the files from past researchers and you'll find a lot of things have been suggested over the years. Some of them were actually good ideas and were shot down because of office politics, those I actually instituted when the politics had changed enough to allow it."
"Is that why they say you're the best head of R&D we've ever had?" Maggie asked in disbelief.
Riley giggled. "The definition of genius isn't learning from your own mistakes, it's learning from other's. There are centuries upon centuries of files to go through, so when you have some spare time, I could use the help." She grinned. "I think the real reasons they talk me up is because I allow them to experiment on family members as long as they use their own resources."
Maggie groaned. "My coworkers are insane."
"Or are they?" Adam asked curiously, as he slowly spread healing light throughout his body, flushing the lingering soreness from his system.
"I think most people would agree that experimenting on one's family is not something a sane person does," Maggie said dryly.
"Depends on what you define as an experiment," Adam said, noticing Riley's smirk. "I could argue that running my family through a regiment of health and enhancement potions to see what their effect was is technically an experiment as it does provide additional data."
Maggie turned to stare at Riley, who burst out laughing. "Why didn't I think of that?!"
"Because you either follow the rules or completely ignore them," Riley told her, "it's why I made you my assistant. You actually consider the rules and regulations and figure out if they're worth following, saves me the effort of doing it myself. Anyway, while that makes you a great assistant it does mean you don't spend much time learning to abuse the rules for your own amusement. Erm… I mean, for your own benefit."
Maggie chewed on her bottom lip and considered that. "I have been a bit too literal minded," she decided.
"Don't be too hard on yourself, you've only been my assistant for about six months," Riley told her. "Now, we've got all the scans we need of our potential Robby here to keep us busy for a week, so where's that suped up gate you were telling me about?"
"That would be mine," Adam said, letting the golden light fade, feeling much better. "If we're done here we can go look at the gate and take your readings while I choose the world I want."
Riley's eyes lit up. "That would be perfect! I am so giving you a good review to the higher ups!"
0o0o0o0o0o0
"Oh god!" Meg exclaimed, completely mortified by what was on the screen. "I can never show my face to him again!"
"Meg!" Lisa yelled, grabbing the distraught girl's shoulder and making Meg look at her. "Not all the details are correct, so just repeat after me 'That didn't happen in my timeline' and 'It wasn't that bad, they really exaggerated things for comic effect' that's what I do when anyone asks me about events in my world."
"I… I can do that?" Meg asked a trace of hope leaking into her voice. "He won't think I'm a horrible person if I say that, right?"
"Meg, he's already seen the series and doesn't care, so I don't think that even a factor," Lisa told her.
The distraught teen sighed and slumped against the couch in relief. "Yeah, he knew all that and still chose me. I can't imagine why, but he did. He chose the gross, fat, disgusting, needy slob I was."
"You were none of those things," Lisa said firmly. "Well, except needy and there was good reason for that."
Meg rubbed her eyes. "He did say he chose me because he could make me happy, that means something to me, even if he eventually passes me over for some prettier girl in the future."
Lisa laughed. "Look in the mirror and tell me you aren't drop dead gorgeous now," she told her friend giving her a hug, "and he's already looking for ways to prevent more girls from joining us, so I don't think you have to worry about his eye wandering for at least a century or two."
"A century or two?" Meg asked confused. "Oh yeah, he mentioned immortality being something he was going to get for us in the future."
"Yeah, I don't think you have anything to worry about," Lisa told her with a smile. "Now, let's continue and don't worry most of the episodes revolve around either Peter doing something stupid or Stewie trying to seduce Brian."
"I can't believe I never noticed my little brother was an evil super genius," Meg said, eager to change the subject. "How did I miss that?"
"Everybody missed that," Lisa reminded her, "just like most of us missed the fact that Maggie was a genius who could bowl a perfect game at will as a toddler."
"What's up with the weird alternate episodes like the Halloween ones?" Meg asked.
"Peeks into alternate universe," Lisa said, "just wait until you see some of mine."
"You don't mind me seeing yours?" Meg asked surprised.
Lisa smirked. "That didn't happen in my timeline. It wasn't that bad, they really exaggerated things for comic effect," she said smugly, making Meg burst out laughing.
Beta by: Abyssal Angel and Mist of Rainbows