"Oh, Commissar Cain, I didn't expect to see you so early." Guild Girl greeted me as I grabbed the briefing for the quest I would be joining Goblin Slayer and Priestess on.

"I could say the same, but I wanted to make sure I had enough time to prepare for my goblin hunt." I told her as I sipped from the mug of tanna tea, the warmth of the quaint drink slowly stirring me back to life.

It wasn't often that I woke up early in order to carry out my duties, whether it was for the Imperial Guard before my retirement or as a member of the Adventurer's Guild following my arrival on this backwater planet. I hadn't spent more than two weeks amongst the guild staff, and yet it seemed that a few of them had managed to note this particular habit of mine, not that I particularly cared. Judging by the faint bags underneath Guild Girl's eyes, it seemed that I wasn't the only one who favored late nights over early mornings, even if I was the only one who didn't have to deal with the consequences.

"Ah, right. Gunner Jurgen said you would be accompanying Goblin Slayer and the Porcelain he's been questing with recently." She said as her eyes glazed over for a moment and a warm smile formed on her lips.

"Thank you for volunteering to help them both. They seemed eager to have you and Jurgen join them." She informed me.

I have to admit, her comment took me somewhat by surprise. I knew Priestess was ecstatic to have someone else who had accompanied her on a previous quest to join her for another mission, but I never thought Goblin Slayer would have shared her reaction. For a man who shared my aide's sense of personal hygiene and shallow interpretation of the galaxy at large, I would have assumed he would never have considered me more than a nuisance given my relative inexperience fighting his preferred enemies. It seems Jurgen and I left quite the impression on the thickheaded adventurer in the two quests we accompanied him on previously.

Feeling oddly content with Guild Girl's praise, and noticing how Spearman was glaring at me like a private I had given a week's latrine duty to, I made my way back to my usual table as I waited for the adventurers who invited me on the quest Jurgen accepted for me to arrive. Padfoot Waitress noticed me as I walked past, and I barely had enough time to glance over the most important details about the quest by the time she returned with a meal fit for a Lord General.

Apparently the local knife ears that infested this world and co-existed with the good, proper people of this planet had abandoned one of their fortresses decades ago for one reason or another. The greenskins, being as resourceful as they are vile and insidious, eventually took notice of their departure and once they were confident that they would not be slaughtered the very instant they set foot in the Eldar's former stronghold, claimed it for themselves. With a surprisingly easily defendable base at their disposal, the surprising part coming from how flammable their glorified treehouse should have been, the goblins inhabiting it started to become bolder and bolder with every passing day and successful raid. Things had apparently escalated to the point that they were able to kidnap several of the nearby village girls in the middle of the day, spurring the general populace to seek aid from the nearest Adventurer's Guild in Frontier Town.

That was all the official report had to say on the matter. It wasn't a lot and Guild Girl seemed to know it too. She provided me with a few additional, less than official looking papers detailing a few of the threats I could expect to find in an abandoned Eldar treehouse turned goblin den in addition to the official quest paper she also gave my companions for this quest. While I appreciated the lengths that she was going to aid my own survival, and that of the adventurers I would be accompanying by extension, part of me wished she had kept the majority of what she offered to herself. It was clear she had an ulterior motive in doing so as the files that had particularly grabbed my attention made my palms tingle in apprehension.

Amongst the details about the local environment and repurposed traps I could expect to find, Guild Girl also included a copy of the so called 'character sheets' for four girls who had apparently taken the same request several days earlier. Each one of them were Steel ranked, meaning that while they were by no means experts when it came to combat, they were experienced enough to be considered veterans in this profession from my understanding of the Adventurer's Guild's ranking system.

I could only assume that whatever experience and skills they had accumulated during their careers must not have been enough to overcome the greenskin menace they set out to face. As both a commissar and having served alongside the command staff of various different regiments, I knew there could only be one reason Guild Girl passed me their papers and allowed us to undertake the same quest that those young women did. For their sake I hope they all managed to die before those Slaanesh-worshipping xenos could have their way with them, just as I hoped they took as many of the bastards with them as possible so I wouldn't share their fate.

Not wanting to find any more reasons to worry about the upcoming quest and having finished my meal, I eased back into my seat and scanned the bar of the Adventurers' Guild for my companions on this quest in the hopes that we would be able to depart soon and return before nightfall. As usual, the entire place was buzzing with activity. The few familiar faces and acquaintances I had made during my unexpected Ork purge at Frontier Town Governor's request were all mingling together as they waited for the morning's quests to be posted, only Witch noticing me staring in her direction and giving me a friendly nod which I quickly reciprocated. Although I hadn't had the time to acquaint myself with many of the other patrons of the Guild, I could still see the occasional familiar face darting in between the frantic crowd that gathered the second Guild Girl marched out with a comically large stack of quest papers.

Watching the near riot that broke out almost took me back to my early days with the Valhallan 597th decades ago when the two regiments that had been consolidated together were just as eager to fight The Emperor's enemies as they were each other. It was with no small amount of relief that I realized no one had drawn any weapons or thrown any punches, the only exception being someone who managed to elbow that spear wielding idiot in the face after he forced himself into the middle of the crowd. The sight of someone doing everyone in the Guild a favor with that carelessly thrown elbow and the hothead's attempts to play it off like it didn't hurt was no doubt going to be one of the better parts of my day.

It was while I was focused on the frantic scene playing out before me that I heard the familiar rattle of Priestess' staff as she took up a seat beside me. I never noticed her enter the building despite my attempts to find her previously. It seemed that I wasn't the only one who preferred to keep out of the inevitable struggle between adventurers for the most well paying quests if her late arrival was anything to go by. She was definitely going to make it far with that kind of attitude towards danger. If only she were willing to pick up a weapon to defend herself instead of letting others do it for her.

"Good morning, Commissar Cain, sir!" The diminutive blonde shouted like one of the many whiteshields who had known of my reputation long before meeting me.

"Ah, Priestess. I was wondering when you would arrive." I greeted her, gesturing to one of the seats beside me which she quickly claimed for herself. "And please, just call me Cain. There's no need to be so polite."

"A-are you sure?" She stammered as a slight blush rose to her cheeks. "Isn't that kind of-"

"I insist." I interrupted. "It's far easier just to yell my name whenever we're fleeing for our lives."

Priestess let out a nervous laugh at my partial jest, not knowing just how right I would be should my usual luck prevail on our upcoming quest. The girl visibly relaxed, no doubt finding the casual way I spoke with her to be somewhat calming compared to whatever she had expected from me. While I was under no impression that she was somewhat apprehensive of going against this planet's strange and frankly baffling custom of using nicknames in public and only ever using real names in private when amongst family, I couldn't find a single frak to give about their customs. As a foreigner to the planet, a detail no one had caught onto yet as they continued searching for any information about the Imperium or how I might be able to return to it, no one seemed to mind how I went against most of the local norms. Sure, I got the occasional odd look from some of the snootier looking people I had come across, but as for everyone else, it seemed that they didn't particularly care so long as I continued using their given nicknames.

Most people still called me and Jurgen by our positions within the Imperial Guard before our retirement, no doubt finding it much more palatable to uphold their bizarre customs than to break them for the sake of someone that neither knew nor cared much about them. The only notable exceptions had been the few people we managed to familiarize ourselves with in the Adventurer's Guild. Guild Girl, Priestess, and Padfoot Waitress were among the few people who were able to break character long enough to do that aside from the Silver ranked adventurers I had already served with.

"O-okay, Cain." Priestess murmured once she finally managed to build up enough confidence to speak again.

And apparently, I now had someone willing to just call me by name instead of my office aside from Jurgen. It's about damn time.

"So, you wouldn't happen to know when Goblin Slayer will show up, do you?" I asked, hoping that we wouldn't have to wait long for him since the only reason I was up so early was that the blasted idiot wouldn't leave me behind.

"He should be arriving soon. From what Guild Girl told me, he should be here after the quests are posted because he is helping with a delivery this morning." She told me.

"Ah, I see. And here I thought he didn't want to do anything but hunt Goblins." I mused aloud. "I didn't think he had a side job working as an errand boy. Can you picture that?"

Priestess giggled, apparently finding the idea of Goblin Slayer marching around in his full suit of armor delivering packages as ridiculous as I did. "No, I can't." She said.

Priestess looked around the guild hall for a while before asking me a question. "Hey, Comiss- Cain, where is Gunner Jurgen? He isn't running late, is he?"

"Oh, don't worry about him. He should be making the final preparations to make our journey to the goblin nest safe, if not comfortable." I assured her. "Hopefully he managed to talk the guild's blacksmith into upgrading our ride's suspension in addition to installing some more crash harnesses."

"Oh, you own a carriage?" Priestess asked me, looking slightly awed.

"Not quite." I told her. "You'll see what I mean when we leave town."

"Speaking of which, you don't get motion sickness easily, do you?" I asked her as I suddenly remembered what my malodorous aide spent most of the previous day dealing with.

"No." She asked, wilting away from me ever so slightly as she answered. "Why are you asking?"

"Oh, no reason in particular I said." I said before finishing the mug of tanna tea Jurgen had prepared for me earlier.

It had been a long time since I was able to enjoy my favorite beverage, far, far too long. I knew we would likely run out of the tanna leaves needed to brew it before leaving this backwater planet so I had been trying to make whatever meager supply Jurgen carried with him last for as long as possible. Hopefully he wasn't worrying himself too much over that. I knew he liked to keep a supply of it around for me and how he would occasionally get a little nervous whenever we were running low.

Before I could worry too much about it, I saw the man both me and Priestess had been waiting for stride into the Adventurers' Guild in that same set of grimy armor I had always seen him in, the stench of dried blood and a few other repulsive scents I couldn't name trailing behind him. Goblin Slayer didn't even need to look in our direction before heading our way and taking one of the available seats we left for him.

"Are you ready to leave?" He asked us.

It looked like he was all business again as usual, not that I minded having another person as hyper competent and focused as Jurgen at my side, even if they both could usually be smelled before they were seen.

"Yes, in fact we were just wondering when you would arrive." I said as I rose up from the table.

"I don't see your partner." Goblin Slayer droned, making no effort in looking for my aide as he did so.

"He's waiting outside of town for us in the Trukk we managed to claim from our last quest." I informed him. "We should be able to reach our destination in a matter of hours so long as we have enough prometheum to last us."

"You… you can reach the goblin nest that fast?" Goblin Slayer said, his voice trembling ever so slightly from behind the impassive visor of his battered helmet.

I had forgotten that the carriages and horses of this planet were not nearly as common as they were on other backwater planets I had visited. Neither were nearly as fast as any of the Imperium's transports or even a ramshackle vehicle of Ork design, but I suppose that was my mistake for not remembering how important such information was when preparing for an assignment. Now that I looked at the sack full of what were presumably rations and camping equipment that both Priestess and Goblin Slayer had with them, I suppose I should have mentioned something sooner about the Trukk to them. I guess Jurgen didn't mention that he could easily cover a few dozen kloms per hour in it when Goblin Slayer asked him if we could work together.

"We need to leave. Now." Goblin Slayer suddenly announced as he rose up from his chair. "The sooner we can slay those goblins, the better."

"Then we had better go meet Jurgen outside of town." I said, leading both him and Priestess to where my steadfast aide was waiting for us.

The citizens of Frontier Town parted ways for me without a word, no doubt awed by how I towered over them, believing me to be an important noble or adventurer from my clothes which were far more intricate than what anyone else was wearing, or frankly terrified by the chainsword dangling from my hip for everyone to see. Regardless of what it may have been, we were able to make it to the northern entrance of Frontier Town without running into any unnecessary interruptions or anyone trying to get in our way.

As expected, Jurgen was already waiting for us in the driver's seat of the Trukk as a pair of guards gaped in utter bafflement at the alien vehicle in front of them. I could only imagine what expression they would make once the orkish vehicle's engine roared to life with all its savage power as I called out to my aide.

"Is everything ready, Jurgen?" I asked him.

"Just finished hammering the last few crash harnesses into place, sir." He said.

"Great." I said, turning to face the two adventurers behind me. "Alright you two, go ahead and pick a seat inside and secure yourself tightly in the crash harnesses. I'll be on lookout with the heavy bolter mounted on top."

Ordinarily, I wouldn't have ever considered risking my life hanging out of any vehicle Jurgen was driving unless it was absolutely necessary. Thankfully, for all the problems Orks had given me over the years and as barbaric as their constructs typically were, they knew how to make sure the gunner for any vehicle was comfortable enough to stay in position for extended periods of time. Not only was there enough room to fit its previous owners, but thanks to Jurgen's foresight, there were now plenty of harnesses and cushions there to make it the most comfortable seat in the Trukk, and that's without considering how I would be free from the combined stench of both my malodorous aide and Goblin Slayer trapped within a mostly enclosed space.

I pitied the hours Priestess would be staying in there with them, but not nearly enough to trade places with her.

The two adventurers had some difficulties with the Trukk once they finally managed to strap themselves inside, no doubt baffled by the orkish machine, if not the concept of a motorized vehicle entirely. Priestess was hesitant to trust the thick lines of the safety harnesses that were almost haphazardly strewn about the seating compartment, this being another reason I was reluctant to join her inside the Trukk, but once she found out just how hard it was to be jolted around by Jurgen's erratic driving I noticed she was sitting quite comfortably as she muttered every prayer she could think of so we wouldn't crash.

Goblin Slayer on the other hand was a complete and utter disaster, the likes of which I had never seen before. The moment he heard the engine roar to life he had tried to unstrap himself saying that he changed his mind and wanted to travel on foot instead. My aide just so happened to have slammed the gas pedal the very moment the filthy adventurer freed his upper torso, causing his head to slam into the nearby armor plating which left him unconscious for the majority of our journey. I made sure to tend to whatever wounds he had, but after failing to remove his helmet and detecting a strong enough pulse, I figured it would be better to secure his body so we didn't have to deal with him trying to jump out of the Trukk once he woke up. Priestess showed as much concern as I expected from the sweet ecclesiarch girl, but she quieted down once I assured her Goblin Slayer was fine and she would be too so long as she trusted Jurgen's driving and held onto something tightly like I had learned to do long ago.

Goblin Slayer woke up and promptly passed out afterwards on more than one occasion thanks to that clunky helmet of his battering against the armor plating inside our commandeered Ork vehicle, but aside from that our overall journey passed by in relative peace. There wasn't much traffic for us to worry about, although I am sure we gave that redheaded farm girl the scare of her life after nearly running her over a few minutes after leaving Frontier Town.

It was almost dusk by the time our destination was in sight. The treehouse the knife ears had been using was far larger than I had been expecting it to be, easily towering over the Frontier Town Governor's estate I had stayed at previously. The towering, dead branches and rotting oaken walls of the natural fortress made for an impressive display in the dwindling sunlight. I was all too glad that the natural fortress' former owners were nowhere in sight, as I had more than enough close calls with the ravenous reptiles they were fond of riding into battle for one lifetime.

We parked the Trukk a klom away from our destination so as to not warn the goblins of our arrival. Everyone was mostly fine, some of us more shaken than others. Both of the adventurers took a moment to regain their footing once they were on solid ground and no longer at the mercy of my aide's chauffeuring talents.

"Never again." Goblin Slayer muttered after taking far longer than I would have expected the veteran adventurer to have regained his composure. "I will never do that again.

"If you insist on walking back to Frontier Town without any of your traveling supplies, then feel free to do so after we complete our quest." I said.

"Urk!" The battered looking adventurer groaned as he stiffened up knowing he wouldn't be able to make the trip back on foot.

"I… we can decide how to get back later." He said, or rather, pouted. "Now we have goblins to slay."

"And how do you propose we go about purging the greenskins?" I asked, curious as to what the goblin slaying expert himself had planned.

"We could always burn the tree down." Jurgen phlegmatically suggested. "Place looks like it would burn down fast. All we would need to do is prevent any of the goblins from leaving while their nest burns down."

"I would do that, but there is still a chance there might be some survivors inside." Goblin Slayer reminded us, somewhat surprising me at how my aide and him seemed to have come to an agreement so quickly.

"Great, so all we need to do is sneak into a heavily guarded fortress filled with goblins, check the entire building for captives, fight our way back out, and somehow find the time to light the place on fire while we are running for our lives. Sounds easy enough." I sarcastically lamented, not that my aide or the goblin obsessed lunatic picked up on it.

Priestess, on the other hand, did. Whether or not she thought I was joking, I couldn't tell. The rattling of her staff was all I needed to tell me that the young girl was terrified of the daunting task we were faced with.

"Well, it's a good thing you brought us along." I said with a forced laugh in order to try and relieve some of her worries. "Between me and Goblin Slayer leading our expedition from the front and Jurgen holding up the rear, there shouldn't be anything in there that can stop us from completing this quest in no time. Be sure to keep whatever powers you have ready in case we need them, Priestess."

"A-alright, Cain, sir!" The small blonde said, puffing out her tiny chest in an effort to look brave.

If she had known just how hopeless I felt our mission was, or the horrors we would find waiting for us in that old wooden deathtrap, then I'm sure she would have ran as far away from the looming giant tree before us as possible. I would have been leading our retreat too if it were an option, but unfortunately, not only was my reputation at stake, but a powerful connection to both a Silver ranked adventurer and the Adventurers' Guild too. Knowing that running away now would doom whatever hopes I had of returning to the relative safety of the Imperium, I took up a position beside Goblin Slayer as the two of us scouted the final stretch of our journey.

Special thanks to Tireless Traveler for beta reading this chapter!

Author's Corner:

Here we are once again. Ciaphas Cain, HERO OF THE IMPERIUM, has been given the chance to leverage his luck to potentially save a few poor souls from a fate they didn't deserve. Whether or not he will be able to change the rolls of these land's heretical gods, only The Emperor knows.

Comments:

Captain Kvoterblad: It's a very interesting story, I'm glad I found it. It's not often you can find good fan fiction on "Goblin Slayer", and especially on "Hero of the Imperium"...

I know, right? This is the exact reason why I wrote this in the first place. Apparently enough people were thinking the same thing, so much so that this is one of the top stories in the Goblin Slayer crossover category that upload more than one chapter per year.

But I had a lot of difficulties with the language of the Orcs, because my Google translator went crazy, but my personal knowledge of English is just at the level of the Orcs, so I was able to understand almost the entire text…

Don't worry. You weren't the only one that hated all that Ork speech. I will NEVER do more than a few lines again IF they ever make another appearance in Goblin Slayer's world…

Well, that's it for me. I'd love to say more, but there weren't really any comments to reply to last month so yeah…

Anyways, I hope to see you all in the future!