Not much to say here except a content warning for this chapter. There's a quick panic attack, nothing described in too much detail, but I used *** to make the start and end of the description. Happy reading.
"Shit." Ii said out loud to himself as he stared at the now long since closed double doors. The boy backpedalling until he hit the wall behind him and sinking down until his rear hit the floor when his legs gave out from the shock of the entire situation.
This much attention was almost completely unheard of for the raven-haired teen. First Hani-san then Shirahata-sempai. Their attraction was flattering yes but also completely overwhelming for someone who grew up sheltered, homeschooled and with little to no positive affection directed their way.
Groaning, Ii buried his face in his hands; taking the alone time he finally had to deal with this complicated mess. On one hand, Shirahata-sempai was not a bad guy. He was nice and seemed friendly and he knew a lot of people. He was also in the karate club, so he had to be somewhat strong. But, and there was always a but, despite seeming like a respectful gentleman rather than loving him Shirahata-sempai seemed to be in love with the idea of him. The mystery and intrigue of a new person who did not associate with too many people.
On the other hand, Hani-san did not seem to be in love with him but rather magnetically drawn to him. An attraction the was heavily reciprocated despite the walls and secrets both freshmen had in place.
With Shirahata-sempai Ii could relax, laugh and enjoy life in a carefree way for once. But with Hani-san Ii could be honest, open…vulnerable. And it was terrifying, being this open and feeling this safe with someone he essentially met not even a week ago. But with the small blonde everything just felt ok for the first time in so long.
"Oh God, I like him don't I?" Ii asked himself out loud as the tears started to pool in the corners of his eyes.
"I actually really like him!" he repeated a little louder this time laughing a bit before the chuckles began to turn into soft sobs the wracked his entire frame. His body curling in on itself as if trying to hide away somewhere safe.
It took a full half-hour for Ii to calm down and recompose himself, although his pale complexion did nothing to hide his red face and eyes. The only saving grace was his long bangs and glasses that he used to hide away from the outside world, but no doubt Hani-san would notice something was wrong. The boy seemed to be especially observant when it came to the raven.
However, clubs would be over soon, and the blonde would be expecting him to be in the Library like they agreed. Li didn't want to create a whole new misunderstanding, especially after a week of avoiding his partner and finally clearing the air. So reluctantly the boy gathered up his things and trudged to the Library. Taking his place, albeit reluctantly, at the table that they usually occupied when the two worked here together.
Hani-san wiped the sweat from his brow as he cleaned up the training room. Club time was finally over and most people were heading to change and wash up. Including himself once he had put everything away and talked to his cousin.
"Takashi." He called looking for the taller boy.
"Don't wait for me, I'm working with Mizuri-san today." The blonde said with his usually frown in place. The stoic giant that was Takashi giving a nod before trailing off, leaving Mitsukuni to his own devices.
Devices in question happened to be a quick wash down in the shower and changing back into his uniform before gathering all his things and heading to the library where he hoped Mizuri-san was waiting for him. The blonde somewhat nervous that his partner might start trying to avoid him again.
The walk itself was quick, although that might have more to do with Mitsukuni near running there rather than the actual distance. The teen only slowing down when the large library double doors were in sight. Composing himself before walking in and heading to that now-familiar back table and sighing in relief when he saw Mizuri-san already there, nose deep in a book while simultaneously taking note in another.
"Have you been waiting long?" He asked breaking the silence causing the raven to look up in surprise before quickly tucking his head back down to go back to whatever he was doing prior.
"No, just a few minutes I think." The boy responded without looking up at Mitsukuni again. Odd.
"Well, if you're not already working on it, I can look for costume and setting elements we'll need for our presentation." The blonde responded as he walked closer, pulling up his chair besides Mizuri-san and taking a familiar book from the pile.
"Yeah that would be good, I am working on period-accurate dialogue for our presentation." Mizuri-san responded without missing a beat, although instead of simply working this time he actively turned his head away from the blonde.
"Do you have any tailor preferences? We're obviously going to have to commission someone for the background and costumes." Mitsukuni asked with furrowed brows, clearly getting very annoyed very quickly with his partner's unusual behaviour.
"My family usually wears traditional clothing at home, so I think I can commission our personal tailor. I am confident in their work." Mizuri-san added, easily keeping up with the natural flow of the conversation.
"Ah, well then do you also know someone who can tell me why you're acting like this all of a sudden?" The shorter boy asked almost spitefully, putting his elbow on the table to prop his head up as he looked directly at his partner. Intensely staring the teen down.
"W-what?" Mizuri-san stuttered out, body freezing while he whipped his head around to stare at the blonde in shock.
"This is the first time you are looking at me since I got here. If I did something wrong I'd prefer you tell me to my face, not start avoiding me again."
"No I, you didn't-" Mizuri-san started only to be cut off by Mitsukuni
"We were fine earlier so I don't know why you're acting like this!" Mitsukuni said, clearly frustrated as his voice was raised to match his expression. His face going a bit red with anger.
'No, nononononon. He's angry. No I should leave, I need to leave!'
Ii thought, his instincts screaming at him as he stared wide-eyed at the clearly upset blonde. His eyes watering uncontrollably at the thought of making someone angry, at the possible ramifications that came with it.
'Would he lash out? I shouldn't wait to find out.' The rave thought before scrambling to get up.
"I-I should leave." He sputtered out as he jerked his chair back and grabbed at his belongings as the tears began to stream down his cheeks for the second time today. Rushing away from the table only to be stopped by a small hand grabbing his own. The sudden feeling causing his brain to come to a screeching halt.
***
The taller immediately dropping to the floor covering his head with his arms as he begged for forgiveness.
"Sorry, I'm sorry. Please I won't do it again I'm sorry!" He practically screamed, sobs wracking his entire frame as he tried to make himself as small as possible. The forgotten blond now staring down at Ii in shock. His mouth gaping watching as the boy completely break down, trembling and hyperventilating while his fight or flight instincts kicked in to try and keep him safe.
"Mizuri-san?" Hani-san called out quietly in confusion, reaching out for the boy again only to flinch when he remembered what just happened not even a minute ago when he touched the boy by surprise. The blonde feeling even worse when just hearing him talk seemed to make Mizuri-san react even worse.
The taller teen in question doing his best to protect himself by curling into a tight ball, stifling the sound of his sobs by refusing to breathe.
***
At a loss for words Hani-san sank down to his knees, keeping his movements gentle and slow as he approached the boy. Never touching the other but staying close in case he needed to act quickly.
"I'm not mad." He said slowly, impossibly quiet as he addressed Mizuri-san as though he was addressing a fearful injured animal.
"I'm not mad at you, maybe at the situation but not you." He reconfirmed before sitting on the floor next to his partner. Facing away from the boy and slowly inching backwards until their backs were pressed together.
"I'm sorry I raised my voice and touched you when you weren't prepared." He apologized all the while doing his best to keep his voice steady and unthreatening.
"We can talk about it later if you want, without me yelling. For now, I think you should breathe. I would be very happy if you breathed Mizuri-san." Hani-san continued, as he made his voice as comforting as possible. Not used to speaking this softly, this caringly.
"That's good. Just like that, take your time. It's ok." He continued, praising Mizuri-san when the other began gasping for breath. Waiting patiently as his partner began to breathe properly and ignoring the way his body trembled.
"Sorry." The raven finally said quietly through sniffles and a raspy voice.
"Don't apologize, this wasn't your fault." Hani-san responded before holding out his hand as an open invitation. Ii tentatively reaching out as though the limb would suddenly turn harsh and strike him, another sob leaving his body when he finally touched it and realized that it was actually safe. No one would hurt him here. The two teens locking fingers on the library floor.
"I'm not mad anymore. I just, I thought you hated me or something when I realized you were starting to avoid me again. That I did something wrong and we were back to square one. It was frustrating but I shouldn't have yelled." Hani-san admitted with a deep sigh, sounding somewhat defeated by the whole situation.
"Didn't mean to avoid you, cried earlier too. Didn't want you to see my face all swollen and red. Was dumb." The raven admitted in broken words trying to speak through the tears.
"Why…why were you crying?" Hani-san question cautiously, not wanting to say something wrong again after Mizuri-san had finally calmed down.
"Is dumb, realize I might like you earlier." Mizuri-san admitted quietly, seemingly ashamed of the trivial reason.
"Is liking me that bad?"
"…no, just new…overwhelming. Never liked anyone before."
"Oh."
"We're really bad at this aren't we?" Hani-san finally said with his head tilted up to look at the ceiling, effectively breaking the silence between the two.
"Yeah, we are. Just dumb clumsy teens." Ii responded with a wet shaky laugh. The trembling in his body eventually dying down as he clung to the blonde boy's hand.
"I-it's scary falling for someone. Trusting them this much this quickly. I don't know how-" Ii started speaking again, accidentally sipping into casual speech rather than formal while doing his best to keep his breathing even and not start panicking again. His voice getting cut off in his own throat despite his best efforts.
"I hate this! I hate crying!" The boy somewhat yelled before burying his face in his knees as he fought another losing battle with his emotions.
"Yeah, crying suck." The blonde jokes quietly with a sniffle as tears began to gather in the corners of his eyes as well.
"Mizuri-san? What are we?" Hani-san asked unsure if he wanted to actually know the answer.
"…I don't know." The taller of the pair responded after a moment of extended silence.
"What do you want to be?"
"Does it matter?"
"Maybe not, as long as we can be together like this I guess." Hani-san admitted, his shoulders falling as he mulled over the situation.
"I like being together like this. Just you and me." Mizuri-san confirmed in a soft somewhat unsure voice.
"I think they call this soulmates." The blonde teen joked with a dry chuckle.
"Silly, that doesn't exist." The raven gave a small smile, nudging their partner with their free arm. Their eyes beginning to droop as the fatigue caught up to them.
"Maybe not." Hani-san responded with a small hum sounding amused, happy that he got the and sobbing boy to crack a smile.
The two sat together on the floor holding hands as the tears finally began to dry. Eternally grateful that no one seemed to be around to watch this entire display.
"We didn't get any work done." Mizuri-san commented in a drawled out in a tired voice.
"No, we didn't." Hani-san confirmed within nod before slowly standing up. Evidentially pulling his partner up with him when the other refused to let go of his hand.
"It's late huh, time to get home I guess?" The blonde noted without looking away from his partner. The latter doing his best to try and make himself presentable again with only one hand.
"It's the weekend, I won't see you until Monday." Mizuri-san agreed dejectedly, still not willing to part from the blonde and the feeling of comfort and security that he managed to bring. A feeling he hadn't felt since his mother passed away.
"I can call you if you want." Hani-san offered, searching the raven's eyes for any discomfort
"Yeah, I'd like that. I'd like that a lot." The pale boy agreed with a shy smile and a faint blush spreading across his cheeks as the two continued to hold hands. Content with the space they created that revolved around just them where no one else existed.
"Can I kiss you, on your cheek if that's ok?"
"Yeah, I'd like that." Mizuri-san confirmed before bending down slightly. Hani-san rising on his tippy toes to meet the boy. His free hand caressing the pale cheek lovingly before he pressed a soft kiss against the smooth skin.
The two pulled apart soon after, Hani-san going to the desk to gather his things as Mizuri-san waited for him. The teens leaving the library and walking side by side in silence until they reach the front of the school where a few limos could still be seen parked and waiting outside the front gates.
"I'll see you on Monday?" Mizuri-san asked looking down at the blonde hopefully right before the two parted.
"Monday." Hani-san agreed with a small nod, his fingers gently brushing against Mizuri-san's knuckles out of the sight of any onlookers. Then, as if nothing happened his face became serious again and the boy begrudgingly parted from his partner before walking away without some much as a second glance.
Mizuri-san watched the blonde's figure become increasingly smaller slowly fading out of sight before he turned to go to his own ride. Yoshinobu waiting patiently for him in the driver's seat and making pleasant small talk about my sibling's day on the drive home.
When he finally got home Ii greeted both of his sisters with weary eyes and a tired smile before shuffling off down the hall to his own room. The boy all but collapsing on his bed from the mental exhaustion of the day, burying his face within a mound of pillows and plushies inhaling their familiar comforting scent.
Absentmindedly remembering to reach for his phone and contact Hani-san before he fell asleep to let the blonde know he had got home safely. Scrolling through his contact list in confusion a few times in search of the boy before realization dawned on him. Groaning loudly in frustration and annoyance before tossing the device into a pile of stuffed animals and hiding his head again.
"Shit, we forgot to exchange numbers." He said dejectedly, cursing under his breath before giving one of his pillows a light punch to vent his frustrations. They had both gotten so wrapped up in each other's presence that they completely forgot to trade contacts so that they could keep in contact until Monday. There goes the thing he was looking forward to this weekend.
And so the plot thickens. Guess who didn't take eons to post this time? This one took, what, three months even though I wrote all of this in one night? That's a new record for me. Also guess who finally got a beta reader, my sweet boyfriend bless his dear heart. Hope you like the chapter, we have about three more chapters for 'Part 1' which is all backstory before the actual anime starts so the plot is going to start getting a bit heavier from here on out. And then chapter 11 is going to be the start of the actual anime. Mostly for Mitsukuni's and Ii's perspectives.
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