Wow, it's been a while now. Although, I said I'd take a month in the notes last time, I did finish this sooner than I expected. Haha, I'm so tired so there won't be many notes this time.
Quotes:
1. "Stay back! Don't do anything unnecessary!" Uhh, I forgot where Yukio said this specifically, but in chapter 37 there's something like it, and I feel like Yukio generally says this kind of thing every time Rin follows him along. I'll see if I can find a specific instance later.
2. "The weak reject everything around them to protect themselves. That is only natural.
I too...am weak." Lucifer says this in chapter 99.
3. "I've always wanted us to fight demons together! Rin and Yukio! The exorcist brothers! Cool, huh? " Rin says this in chapter 74 when they're in Aomori.
4. "You're just copying him." Todo says this to Yukio in chapter 28.
5. "In ten years time...your brother will witness something far more frightening." Yukio's flashback in chapter 2.
6. "If I were to die suddenly, use this if Kuro becomes a problem." Yukio's flashback from chapter 8.
7. "Give me a break! Our birthday? We don't even know what day we were born!" Yukio says this in chapter 89.
Yukio grips the scissors unsteadily, snipping the thickly folded tip of the triangle off. After adding a few more cuts half-heartedly, he gives up, opening it to reveal his paper snowflake.
It looks...passable, with a giant hole in the middle and a few dots on the sides.
Perhaps if they hang a lot of them up together, it might look better.
"Hey, hey look," Rin points, laughing shamelessly, "don't you think Yuki's looks like a shower cap!" He picks it up, settling it delicately on his own head, "See?"
Younger Rin grins enthusiastically, much to Yukio's disappointment, "Yeah! It does!"
He settles for folding a few more of the triangles instead, "Here," he passes one to Younger Yukio, "that one you just made looks nice."
"Really?"
"Yeah," Yukio smiles and his younger self beams, excitedly moving onto his next snowflake.
At least they're having fun.
It's finally Christmas Eve and the monastery is bustling with life. This year, the priests are organizing a gift donation event along with the usual service. They've been so busy Yukio hardly sees them for more than a few minutes at a time.
"Ah, what?" Younger Rin mumbles in dismay, "I did it wrong again," he pouts.
Yukio glances over, watching as the snowflake unfolds into six sad pieces. The patterns on the side were decent, so it's a bit of a shame. In fact, it looks better than the entire rest of the pile and he's almost tempted to tape it back together.
"Ah, what?" Rin echoes, "How'd you even do that?" he teases, "You're worse at this than Yuki!"
Yukio quickly hands Younger Rin another folded one to cut, "Nii-san, are you sure you mean that?"
Rin pauses in his cutting, and his ears redden, "What—that's not, agh, stop laughing!" He picks up another paper strip to add to his chain, "Hey old man! How many of these do we have to make anyway?"
Father Fujimoto looks up from where he's sorting documents, "Ahh, you know, we need a lot for tonight's service. Quantity over quality, Rinka, quantity over quality. Make me a thousand!" he yells, cackling as he rushes out the door.
Yukio watches idly as Rin glues the wrong color of paper, deciding not to correct him. His own chain is a mess too, with some smaller links and other ones that keep springing back open because he'd glued them too impatiently.
Still, the repetitiveness is nice, and he doesn't mind being quite so terrible at crafts—
Yukio flinches as several drops of glue splatter onto his face.
"Crap!" Rin exclaims, brushing papers aside as he fumbles to wipe up the mess, "Man, this bottle just totally exploded. Yuki, can you get a paper towel?"
He takes it back. He hates crafts.
The rest of the day is a blur of constant motion as they rush to distribute the presents to various orphanages and other organizations across the city.
"Hey, you know what would be a good idea?" Rin mentions as they squeeze onto the bus just before the doors snap shut, "We should go stop by the grocery store."
"That's fine, but don't buy too much. You bought so many outfits recently," Yukio says bluntly.
"Yeah, but I can save up once I become an exorcist," Rin grins.
"That's true. We should apply soon," Yukio replies, "we need to brush up a bit too."
"What? Seriously? You don't need to study, do you?"
"Of course."
Rin groans, "I forgot everything. Especially that one class," he frowns, "I forgot everything. Who even was the teacher of Demon Pharmaceuticals?" he says, smile widening with every word, "Yunokawa? Or was it Tsubaki? Man, that class was boring."
"Really?" Yukio smiles, "Because I will gladly drill everything back in, Nii-san," he smirks, satisfied to see Rin's grin fade, "I promise."
"Huh? The certification exam? I'm not sure," Nagamoto says, "Hold on, it's in the memo from last week. I'll look it up for you," he clicks, waiting for the computer to respond.
It's strangely annoying to see technology behave so much more slowly than he's used to. He hadn't expected himself to be so impatient.
"Yeah, the exam is in two weeks."
Yukio hides a grimace, "I see. Thanks for helping me."
"No problem. Are you planning on going to watch the practicals?" Nagamoto asks curiously.
Yukio shrugs, "I'm not sure yet. It's something like that."
He returns to their room, shutting the door as Rin looks up expectantly.
"It's in half a month."
"What? No way," Rin says shrilly, panic creeping into his voice, "what happened to two months?"
Yukio smoothes the edge of his bandage as he thinks. They're ten years in the past. It's not unexpected that the Order might have shifted their exam dates, but if so…
If the exam is in two weeks, that means they missed the application deadline.
"Oh," Rin laughs, "I'm dead. I'm going to fail the written exam for sure."
Yukio pushes his glasses up, resisting the urge to sigh, "We'll have to wait until next year either way. They don't accept late applications—"
"Wait, what about the old man," Rin crosses his arms, "can't we get him to pull some strings for us? He's the Paladin, isn't he?"
"I'm not sure," Yukio replies. "Titles in the Order are measures of strength, not necessarily authority."
He'd found himself preferring the Illuminati system almost immediately compared to the Order's convoluted hierarchy. At least their ranks had been standards for clearance and reach, rather than capacity.
It was easier not to be constantly reminded of his own limits, his weakness.
His statement isn't entirely truthful though. Father Fujimoto taught—teaches Demon Pharmaceuticals at the cram school. Although Yukio never had any say in the admissions and application process, he's almost certain Father Fujimoto could put a word in for them.
It's too dangerous though. He doesn't want the Order to know of any connection between them and their younger selves.
If they are discovered, the Order will hound them for answers. Even then, that's hardly the worst-case scenario. In their future Father Fujimoto passed away, leaving the Order with only scraps and shards of his motives to decipher.
When the Vatican discovers he has harbored the son of Satan this time...Yukio doesn't want to imagine what kind of punishment would be dealt for such a heavy crime.
Younger Rin could be taken away to be trained as a mindless weapon, or worse, sentenced to death.
"We just have to get the applications into the system ourselves," Yukio says slowly. The idea coils leisurely in his head, like a tired creature settling in to rest. Even when he knows it's wrong, it feels right.
How far...is he willing to go?
The Order's rules shouldn't matter to them anymore. Or is he making a mistake?
What morals has he not discarded? Something as small as this shouldn't matter in the least to him. There's nothing worth hesitating over.
"I'll get into the office and—"
"Are you serious?" Rin asks, bewildered. "Let's just wait a year, come on," he sputters, "I know you've got a weird problem with authority recently but—"
"We can't waste an entire year," Yukio says impassively. "Besides, I've been in charge of exam administration a few times in the past. I'm more than familiar with the system."
"Still, don't they have security and stuff? Are you sure you're thinking straight? If we get caught, we'll never be exorcists."
"You don't need to come with—"
"Don't you dare leave me out of the loop," Rin says pointedly, "like I'd let you go alone."
"The Knights of True Cross are not as strict as you think, Nii-san."
"Then, do you have a plan?"
"Why don't you go study while you still have time," Yukio says smugly, "we'll be taking the exam soon."
It takes him a bit more time to figure out which building—the website is terribly organized—but when he finally does, he realizes the solution is incredibly simple.
Yukio pulls out a sheet of paper, drawing a layout of the first floor from what he can remember. Even if things have been moved around, it shouldn't pose as a problem since they'll have the entire night.
"What's this?" Rin peeks over his shoulder.
"It's our plan," Yukio smiles.
"That fast?"
"We'll go today. The licensing office closes at five every day, but the entire administrative building is almost always busy. They also have the consultation center there, which is open twenty-four seven. That's why we need to be there tonight," Yukio clicks his pen, tapping his makeshift diagram.
"The Order requires those entering the building to make a record, as well as when they leave, which means we can't just sneak in," he pauses.
"I nearly forgot," Yukio admits, "there's also a security gate we'll pass through before that. It's fine though. Leave your sword home."
"Ohh," Rin scoots closer on his rolling chair, giving the sheet of paper a closer look. "This is like...a secret mission!"
His tail sweeps upward, waving back and forth in the air as he spins in an elated circle on his chair, unknowingly smacking Yukio across the face once with the furry tuft, "Man, I'm so excited! Yukio, this is totally my dream!"
Yukio clears his throat, "Our excuse for being in the building is to visit the consultation center. The lines are longest from five to seven, so we'll go then. Once we finish the consultation, we'll sign out and instead of leaving, we'll mingle into the crowd and use the coats Sir Pheles gave us to get into the licensing office."
"Hey, that's awesome!" Rin gushes, "I didn't think of using them that way."
Yukio pauses, furrowing his eyebrows. What else could they even need invisibility for, other than this sort of thing?
He hadn't thought Rin would be so thrilled about this, but in hindsight, he really should have expected it. It's almost entertaining with how Rin's already zipped the stealth coat up, as though he's ready to depart this instant.
Yukio continues, "The consultation center is open year-round twenty-four seven, and there's always increased demand around the solstice. However, since today is Christmas Eve, they'll close around midnight," Rin makes a face, obviously unhappy with the idea of waiting so long, but Yukio ignores him. "When that happens, I'll input our applications into the system."
"That's it?"
"Yeah? They don't really have measures against what we're doing. No one wants to be an exorcist that badly," Yukio explains, "especially during this time...a lot of people still remember the Blue Night clearly."
"Oh," is all Rin says, but when he goes back to his desk to study, Yukio can see it in the rigid lines of his back, the tight curl of his fingers around his pencil.
As Yukio shifts his gaze away, something sharp twists in his gut.
It's unfathomable to him, at times—especially now—that they are so intrinsically different.
Why—how does Rin care so much?
To Yukio, it's cruelly captivating, like the crisp, intricately detailed edges of shattered glass. It's so dazzlingly bright that he can't help but fumble and cut himself on the shards; hoping to see his own reflection.
The consultation center is loud and messy; filled with anxious and irate complaints he's incredibly glad he's not on the end of anymore.
He spots the licensing office on the other end of the atrium and nudges Rin, "There, behind those seats. Do you see it?"
Rin nods enthusiastically, too obviously excited, "Yeah."
Yukio wishes he'd act a little more naturally, but at least he's not nervous and in truth, no one even turns to look at them for long. He glances at his watch, tugging Rin along to the back of the line.
"I can't believe we're actually doing this," Rin murmurs, "this is so cool."
"Remember," Yukio cautions, "your cat broke a mirror yesterday and it's been walking in circles so you're worried. They won't take you seriously, so you can hurry and leave. Don't draw attention to yourself."
"Okay, I got it," Rin says, slightly exasperated, "have a little faith."
"Next please!"
Yukio takes a seat, frowning, "Hi, I think my pitcher plant ate two or three coal tars yesterday. Is it going to be okay?"
The consultation goes smoothly and Yukio is instructed to give his—imaginary—house plant holy water twice a week, rotate it toward the sun at even hours, and by the end he's give a large packet of information he doesn't need.
He writes the time neatly on the sign out sheet next to his name—
Yukio pinches his nose bridge, holding back a sigh as he takes his papers and lets them fall from his hands, scattering all over the floor. The security guard huffs in frustration but joins a few others in line behind Yukio to help gather them.
Yukio seizes the moment to hastily add another character next to the "Rin" carelessly scrawled on the sheet.
He apologizes politely, bowing once as he accepts the papers before he slips through the crowd, heading for the restroom. Once he's there, he checks to see that he's alone and pulls his hood on—it's eerie to not see his reflection in the mirror—strolling out to find Rin.
Only, when he reaches their designated potted plant, he realizes Rin isn't here yet.
Yukio has no way of finding him now that they're likely both invisible and he can't exactly shout his name or—
He steps on someone's foot and his heart stops as he moves away as quietly as he can.
"Ow," a very familiar voice hisses.
"Nii-san!" Yukio lowers his voice, "Where are you?" He holds an arm out in front of him, motioning at the air as he takes a cautious step forward.
Suddenly, two fingers stab his cheek and Yukio reflexively moves to whack it away, tensing as someone latches onto his arm...that he can't see. He breathes with relief as he switches to holding Rin's hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze, "Sorry. I should have planned this out better."
"So, we just wait now?"
"Yeah. We just wait."
He almost expects someone to stop them—almost wants someone to notice them in an irrational bought of restlessness—sitting next to the drooping potted plant until their limbs are numb from inactivity.
Yukio rotates his neck slowly, grimacing as Rin drools onto his shoulder, when the lights finally shut off.
"Nii-san," Yukio hisses, prodding Rin's head off his shoulder, "keep watch," he says, pulling a pair of gloves on.
Rin sighs groggily, "Are you going to pick the lock or something?"
Yukio rolls his eyes, "Why would I, when I have the key?" Although, he did come prepared to pick it. Perhaps they're just very lucky that the building and the lock are still the same.
"What? How many of those do you have? And they kept this lock the same for ten years?" Rin mutters.
They did. Just around the time Yukio had signed his Morinas contract, there had been rumors of plans for reappropriating certain keys to critical offices. The Order had always been too careless with them in the first place; as though something as flimsy as loyalty would keep exorcists from abandoning their duties.
Just because they couldn't sell their secrets, didn't mean there weren't other—better—things to sell.
But the plans had been leaked, presumably because the Order had been too hasty, and the traitors continued to roam free—like Yukio. Truly, he was one of many who had used the keys on missions for the Illuminati. Yukio had even worn his exorcist uniform a few times and no one had doubted a thing.
The Order has always been ruthless on some facets and needlessly soft on others.
"Not all of these were mine," Yukio whispers, "some of them were Tou-san's."
"...Oh."
"But this one is mine," Yukio smiles, "so we're not really breaking in."
He waits for the camera to turn around, having timed the cycles earlier, and holds it open until he feels a brush of air and Rin taps his shoulder, letting him know he's inside.
"Yeah, tell that to the Order if we get caught. They'll have our heads."
Unfortunately, the office is annoyingly dark, and Yukio doesn't want to turn the lights on, so he has to fumble around for the monitor under the desk—
"Here, I got it," Rin's hand pushes Yukio's aside—it's jarring to not be able to see him.
As they wait for the computer to start up, Rin finds a laminated list of instructions next to the computer, handing it to Yukio with eager motions.
"It's too dark, I can't read it," Yukio admits.
"What?" Rin sounds confused, "You can't?"
"You can?" Yukio asks.
"Oh, I'll just read it out to you then," Rin offers.
Yukio almost can't believe himself when he says, "Okay, go ahead," wanting to laugh at the absurdity of their situation. They're here in the dead of night, crouched under the desk like a pair of bank robbers in the licensing office, breaking multiple laws to submit their late applications without anyone finding out, and now Rin's going to read the instructions aloud to him?
It's ridiculously improper.
Rin reads the list evenly as Yukio double checks several of the applications already stored in the computer. There are a few small changes, but it seems that most of the process remains identical.
It makes sense. The procedures needed to be standardized for convenience. The Order is old, it's traditional and they've never quite had enough funding to hire actual employees for these temporary office positions. Like the consultation center, exorcists were simply assigned some extra work once or twice a year for organizing exams.
As he scans the papers, he falls into a familiar rhythm: sort by prospective meister, create a new folder for each individual including scanned files of verification documents type B and C, attach photo of applicant, assign written examination room and practical examination section. Repeat.
He never expected the tedious office work to pay off in this manner.
They leave through the side door and a gentle snowfall covers their footprints, drawing spotted white outlines of their figures as flakes cling to their cloaks.
Rin lets out a soft laugh as they get out of the parking lot, "That was so much fun. Admit it, I did pretty well, right?"
His voice is quiet, but Yukio can imagine the curve of his lips from the levity woven seamlessly into his tone.
At first, Yukio isn't sure what he means. He wants to refute it like a knee-jerk reflex; Rin wrote his name—his real name down on the Order's records, when Yukio's been running around doing all of this to try to keep their identities a secret. Yukio should have reminded him, should have anticipated that he'd forget—
Stay back! Don't do anything unnecessary!
He didn't even notice earlier. Exactly what had possessed him to let Rin come?
He'd always despised Rin tagging along on his missions, so why had he included Rin in his plans so easily this time?
What's going on with him?
But this is...good?
He feels strangely reluctant to see Rin's harmless delight fade and he thinks he knows why.
When he closes his eyes, he feels colder. With every blink, the glare of the snow melds from its soft gentle cream to a harsh white and it mirrors the flawlessly—hauntingly—expansive cloud cover he liked to stare at for hours and hours on end from the window in his room aboard Dominus Liminis. It was grand, endless, yet constantly in motion. He remembers for the first few months, he'd found himself obsessively attracted to the exquisite view from his window, like staring down a cliff into the gaping darkness.
He'd done so thoughtlessly, haplessly to keep out the inevitable regret.
It was easier to tell himself the silence was no different from before, that he'd been alone all the same. And by the end, he was convinced.
The weak reject everything around them to protect themselves. That is only natural.
I too...am weak.
It's fine, isn't it? He can just remember to tell Rin to write his name correctly next time—he doesn't have to bring it up right now. Rin doesn't have to know he messed up right now.
It's Christmas. He can be generous for today.
There's a childish exhilaration flooding through his veins, an irrational sense of accomplishment, regardless of how underwhelming their task really was. He feels warm despite the cold; he's not alone anymore.
He really missed Rin.
"Yeah," and Yukio smiles too, because neither of them can see each other, and that's a little simpler.
"It's cool that we're going to fight together," Rin whispers, "...I'm really glad—I was, I never imagined you'd be here. I'm really, really glad you're here."
I've always wanted us to fight demons together! Rin and Yukio! The exorcist brothers! Cool, huh?
It's stupid, Yukio had replied back then.
He doesn't believe it's a coincidence that they arrived so closely in time. Yukio doesn't understand how Rin's key works, but it's far more plausible that Rin chose to come here, even if he's not aware of doing so.
Yukio doesn't deserve his thanks.
"...I'm grateful too, that you're here, Nii-san."
All the buses have stopped for the night, so they're forced to trek back as the storm worsens.
In the silence of the cold winter morning, in the darkness, Yukio imagines he's empty inside, that all his worries and flaws are invisible along with his physical body under this coat. He welcomes the cold. It makes the delicate warmth he feels more blatant, more alive.
Since their father's death—since Rin had declared he wanted to be an exorcist—Yukio often saw Rin as a burden, as a constant task that needed watching, nagging, persistently requiring his attention.
He finds he doesn't mind so much...that he doesn't feel that way right now.
Swallowed by the quiet surrounding them, he's made only of frosty silhouettes and disappearing boot prints and cloudy breaths.
And for the moment, he is lighter, cleaner, as snow.
They traipse through the monastery gate at two in the morning, planning to sneak back in without a word when—
Father Fujimoto sits with his legs crossed languidly on the steps of the front door, sipping a cup of tea.
Rin seizes the back of Yukio's coat—so abruptly he nearly tugs the hood down and Yukio frantically yanks it back up—freezing in his tracks, "Crap, crap, crap, what do we do?"
"W-we can wait for him to go back in," Yukio says under his breath, "stay still."
"Do you two really think I can't see you?" Father Fujimoto drawls, "Invisibility doesn't mean intangibility. You both have piles of snow on your heads, you know."
Rin jerks his hood off, brushing the snow away, "Yeah? And what are you doing out here, old man? Trying to catch Santa or something?"
Father Fujimoto shrugs, "Come on, let's talk inside. You too, Yukio," he laughs, "stop looking like you're in trouble."
Yukio sits reluctantly at the kitchen table, and "I'm not," comes out before he can stop it.
"So, I'm just curious, where'd you two go, on Christmas Eve of all nights? Is anything even open?"
Rin, ever so helpful, blurts, "I'll go make hot chocolate," leaving Yukio sitting there, wishing he could be anywhere else right now.
"We went to…" He's not sure what to say. He feels unexpectedly embarrassed because sitting in front of him is, is—
You're just copying him.
The one person he never wanted to disappoint—only it's too late, he's been too late for a while.
But today was different; he has nothing to be ashamed of.
"I'm sorry we didn't inform you of our decision earlier," Yukio announces. "We snuck into the Order's licensing office to get our exorcist applications in because they wouldn't have been accepted late otherwise."
Father Fujimoto sighs, leaning back in his chair. "I can't say I like that you're doing this all by yourselves."
Yukio nods, taking his glasses off to clean the condensation away. Rin hands him a mug of hot chocolate and Yukio cups it in his hands trying to draw the warmth into himself.
"But I'm grateful," Father Fujimoto says, straightening as his expression softens, "I'm grateful you would do this for them. I was worried to be honest. When you said you were here to save the world, I wasn't sure you were serious."
Rin crosses his arms, frowning.
"These past few days, I've had a hard time thinking about how to word it," he bows his head.
Yukio's heart sinks. He recognizes this tone of voice. The mug of hot chocolate feels startlingly lukewarm in his hands as he sets it carefully on the table, curling his fingers into his palms to preserve their transient warmth.
"I...I'm guessing, I wasn't there for you two, before," Father Fujimoto says, "but now, even if I can't help you openly, you'll always have a place here. So, tell me when you can, and when you can't, it's okay."
Rin says something, but Yukio doesn't hear his voice at all. He can't focus. Somewhere along the line he gets pulled into a hug, but his thoughts are spinning dizzily around his head, colliding and ricocheting like the clattering of hollow bullet shells meeting the floor one by one.
He can't hear them, not with the ringing—the loud and inflated sound he's accustomed to—but he knows the absence of their sound, the discrepancy between what he sees and what he doesn't hear.
Does Father Fujimoto know something?
In ten years time...your brother will witness something far more frightening.
Why had he been so certain? What did he mean? Rin came back here before ten years to the date Yukio decided to become an exorcist. What would have happened—what could have been worse than the gates, than the peace Lucifer had spoken of?
And back then, he'd laughed it off when Yukio had pressed him for an explanation.
If I were to die suddenly, use this if Kuro becomes a problem.
How did he know before?
If Yukio asks, will he be brushed off again?
A hand nudges his shoulder, "Yukio?"
What is his purpose for hiding things from them?
"Hey, Yukio?"
"Sorry," Yukio blinks twice, pushing his glasses up, "what did you say?"
"Aren't you going to sleep?" Rin asks gently as he towels his hair dry—Yukio's still not used to the color somehow, and the strange little bumps on his forehead. He keeps looking for the previous shade when Rin says his name, or he's turned around and Yukio's looking at the back of his head, or when he's sleeping—
Not that this one suits him any less well, but it bothers him slightly. Yukio still doesn't know—hasn't asked—what happened.
A familiar sensation in his chest, tight and abrasive, tells him it was...it was probably his fault.
"Oh, um," he stalls, staring as a few wayward droplets land across the pages of the notebook on his desk, "I was," he glances at his watch, "going to review a few more fatal verses first."
"Really? It's like three in the morning," Rin leans closer to pick up the notebook, "and these are magic circles notes. Are you sure you aren't half asleep already? Just go to bed before you faceplant somewhere."
Yukio hesitates, resisting the urge to rub his eyes as he reaches for the notes.
"Like the stairs," Rin adds, holding the notes above Yukio's head, "or the toilet, or your glasses—"
"But they're on my face right now," Yukio retorts sluggishly.
"Bro, just go to sleep. Please."
"Happy Birthday!"
On cue, Yukio pulls the little confetti popper. It's oddly amusing to see Younger Rin and Yukio's eyes light up with glee. Rin leans down and ruffles their hair messily, "You guys are seven now! Cool, huh?"
"Yeah!" Younger Rin chirps, clambering up onto a chair.
"Wow," Younger Yukio leans forward as Rin brings the cake over, "did you bake this?"
"Yeah," Rin grins, "do you like it?"
Younger Yukio nods vigorously, "It's awesome!"
Yukio arranges the candles carefully and Father Fujimoto lights them. Maruta dims the lights and the priests sing in a pleasant harmony, clapping as the song ends.
"Make a wish," Father Fujimoto prompts.
Younger Rin grins, bringing his hands together quickly as he closes his eyes. Younger Yukio follows suit, but he seems to hesitate for a second, taking a glance at Younger Rin before he closes his eyes as well.
Yukio watches as the luminous glow of the seven tall birthday candles caresses their soft cheeks, quivering and alive in the darkness. The room is quiet, not silent. Younger Rin finishes, turning curiously toward Younger Yukio as he tries to keep his impatience inside.
His younger self's tiny hands tense, fingers tightening their clasp as he opens his eyes slowly, and the lights of the trembling flame dance across the surface of his teal irises.
Give me a break! Our birthday? We don't even know what day we were born!
What will become of their younger selves, from now on?
He hates how he still sees that face in the mirror late in the night, reflected across windowpanes in fleeting dusks, ghosting across the brittle, icy surface of the pond, that early morning.
Ten years...what if it's not enough?
"What'd you wish for?" Younger Rin whispers, "You look super serious."
Younger Yukio smiles sheepishly, "If I told you, it wouldn't come true though."
Younger Rin pouts, "Aw, then promise you'll tell me when it does come true!"
"Okay," Younger Yukio says shyly, "if it does."
They huddle together and puff their cheeks out, blowing out the fluttering candle lights with mirrored smiles.
The lights flicker back on and everyone helps to bring more ingredients onto the table, filling the room with the clatter of dishes, rustling of clothes and pleasant conversation. There's so much food, Yukio's honestly worried for the monastery's budget.
Rin takes a seat next to him, grabs his bowl and piles a small mountain of meat, handing it back pointedly, "You lost weight. Make sure you eat all of that," he smirks.
Yukio sighs, "Yes, mother."
"Hey, I'm watching you," Rin crams some mushrooms into Yukio's bowl too, "you better not pass those to anyone else."
"Rinka, this side isn't boiling anymore," Kyodo announces.
"Ah, crap, it's because you guys put too many things in at once!"
"What? But look, I think it's out of gas," Izumi offers.
Rin gives Yukio one last glance and heads around the table to check on the hot pot burner, "Oh, this thing's old. Let's light it again."
Yukio watches, chewing on his shrimp dutifully, as Rin turns it off, then cranks the knob to the right with a series of sharp clicks. A flare of heat displaces air, and the flame unfurls outward with fluffy limbs, cradling the bottom of the pot in wispy blue fingers.
He can't help the small laugh that floats up from his lungs as Rin sits back down, "It's blue, like yours. Are you sure you lit it properly?" he teases.
Rin snags the slice of daikon Yukio was reaching for, chopsticks flashing forward like lightning, and he has the audacity to wave it before stuffing it into his mouth, smirking victoriously, "Dude, you have no idea! This little guy is a stubborn piece of work. I spent at least twenty minutes trying to get it going at first," he leans closer, warm breath tickling Yukio's ear, "seriously, I was so tempted to light it with mine."
Yukio sips some of the broth slowly, letting his glasses fog up into a hazy blur. The lights seem abruptly too bright, and he's forced to avert his gaze.
So instead, he listens to the steady, rhythmic tones of chopsticks against porcelain, the loud chatter of the priests, the quiet hiss of the gas burner, and the unbelievable warmth of this home. That faint, unidentifiable emotion spreads throughout him, branching and permeating all the way to his cold fingertips, lifting the weight in his chest like a precious gust of hot air. He selfishly wants to bottle it away, as children would do with a prized possession, as an entrancing display of blinking fireflies in his darkness, so it can be his for just a little longer.
He never expected to have any of this again. It's oddly backwards, as though he has only recently begun to realize what he lost once they've come back to him; things he wouldn't dare ask for.
Yukio's not sure what he ever did to deserve it.
Yukio shuts the door to their room, watching in amusement as Rin flops face first onto his futon, tail darting out from under his shirt to curl under his pile of blankets listlessly.
"I'm so tired," Rin mumbles, "I forgot to ask you something."
Yukio sets his glasses onto his nightstand, prying his eyelid back to apply eye drops, "What?"
Rin flips over lazily, shoving his pillow away from his face, "I forgot."
"Oh, I see," Yukio turns the light switch off, nearly tripping over Rin's leg as he crawls into his own mound of blankets.
"Good night," Rin whispers.
"Yeah, good night, Nii-san."
He watches the steady green blink of the smoke detector, relishing the calm lull that settles over him.
It's just about when he's nearly asleep that Rin murmurs, "Hey, Yukio? Did...you fall asleep?"
"Absolutely," Yukio replies dryly.
Rin twists around swiftly, suddenly a bundle of sparkling energy, "I remembered what I wanted to ask you!"
Yukio tilts his head toward Rin with great reluctance, "Okay, Nii-san. Tell me tomorrow."
"No, I have to tell you now or I'll forget again," Rin hisses, swatting his arm as Yukio tries to block him out.
"...What?"
Rin scoots closer, eyes gleaming with anticipation, "Want to go visit Kyoto with me?"
Notes:
Hello!
Ehh, sorry for the wait. I feel like this chapter was a bit lackluster, but I crammed the stuff I needed to in it for the plot, so this fic is moving onto a new arc!
First, when Rin says the snowflake looks like a shower cap, I kind of mean those little shower visor things that keep soap out of your eyes when you wash your hair? Like, little kids use them a lot. I mean, it doesn't really matter; whatever you imagine that looks cute is good.
In case anyone is curious, the consultation center is from chapter 40. I like the idea of it so much. It just seems super well thought out and really realistic for an organization as old and huge as the Order. Ahh, I'm always blown away by the intricate worldbuilding Kazue Kato has put into Ao no Exorcist. She's so amazing. *O*
Oh, and the little gas burner Rin uses is based off the one I have at my house. It's super handy and you just put a canister of gas inside, then when you light it, there's the prettiest softest looking blue flame. I always thought of Rin every time we had hot pot. XD Also, I based their hot pot stuff on what I'm used to, which is the Chinese way. There's often a divider in the middle, so you do meat on one side and cool veggies on the other. Then, you usually have a yummy dipping sauce like sesame or other fancy mixes (or really spicy ones). It's super fun because all the ingredients are set out on the table and everyone just picks up whatever they like and adds it to the pot. With meat, it's best to just keep holding onto it with your chopsticks and kind of rinse it in the boiling water to cook it super fast. Since it's sliced really thinly it'll stay tender with just a few seconds of heat.
Okay, as always, thank you so much for reading! I would love to hear your thoughts on my writing if you have time! Also, sorry this chapter wasn't that good. I'll try to write the next one sooner (and better XD), but I'm just so busy recently.
Thank you for all of your support! You guys are so awesome. I'm going to try really hard to write the next part well. ^^
Hope you'll like this chapter reasonably,
- bluewindfall