~~hello readers, jesus this was a tough one to post. let me know what you think and don't worry goku is coming back. thanks for reading —LA~~

"Are you ready?"

"This doesn't hurt right?" I was grasping onto Goku's forearm with both of my hands, I was slightly shaking. The anxiety was kicking in. Everyone is going to think that I'm weird and quiet…I could hardly keep anyone convinced of my sincerity at work. When was the last time I even met up with a friend let alone a group of friends?

"Are you alright Luna?" Goku asked as he placed his hand on my shaky grip. Fuck. I had to calm down. This was so embarrassing…I hadn't even thought about this…I've been too distracted. Can I even do this? My heart was racing again but it wasn't for Goku, I was freaking out.

"Let me sit down for a sec, hold on." I breathed in, pressing down on my chest as I moved from Goku's side to sit on the bed. Just chill out Luna…please don't do this right now.

"Luna talk to me."

"I'm just a bit nervous ok? I'm not exactly a people person and I suck at keeping conversations…How many people are we seeing exactly? I mean where are we even going? Can we go over today's agenda?" I locked my fingers together and buried my hands between my legs so I could at least keep them from shaking. Things were never this bad before. I wanted to take back everything I had said. I didn't want to go anymore. I wanted to bury myself under my covers and stay there. This was too much for me right now. I couldn't look Goku in the face, him being here only amplified my anxiety. What was I even doing? Was I literally just about to leave to another world with a strange hot alien? Was I actually considering possibly living there? This was crazy…This was all because of a stupid crush too. What in the world is wrong with me?

"Well I hadn't exactly planned anything yet? We were just gonna stop by Bulma's at Capsule Corp and kind of go from there. What are you nervous about Luna? Your energy is all over the place." He knelt before me, forcing my hands out of my lap and holding them in his. The change in my heart rate was almost instant. He rubbed his thumbs softly against the back of my hands.

"Luna what is this? Why are you feeling like this so suddenly?" His voice was lower, it was soothing.

"This is my anxiety…this is why I can't have friends, this is why I can't date. It's why I always prefer to be by myself." I muttered. I hadn't looked at him yet, I kept my focus on our hands and his touch. I couldn't explain it but it was comforting me in a way.

"Please describe what you're feeling to me, I want to understand better…"

Fuck. Describe it? I'd never put it into actual words how I felt when I had these episodes. No one knew about my anxiety besides Damien and he never bothered to ask or understand. I suffered from it alone, and no one had ever been present to see it happening…not even Damien. I had never let anyone get close enough to me whenever I felt this way, I was always alone and out of sight. Now Goku was here to witness it all. My chest felt incredibly heavy…Why was I like this…It's all Damien's fault.

"He's ruined me…" I whispered to myself.

"What do you mean he's ruined you? Who?" Goku pressed.

"He made me lose all of my confidence, he walked all over me, he made me so fragile…My thoughts still mimic his criticisms to this day…they'll being ringing in my head sometimes. He would swear to me that I was crazy and that I was an idiot. I became so self conscious, he was why I started hating myself. I loved him with everything I had and it was never enough to treat me good. I literally pushed away every friend I had for him and I never make new ones. When I converse with my co-workers or customers I have trouble acting myself and I let small details and thoughts bother me enough so that I appear anxious or timid. I bet I come off as looking fucking insane sometimes. At this point I am severely mentally weak and I'm just trying to get back into shape. My thoughts literally control me right now though, they have been for years. This is all because of Damien's mental abuse." I noticed my hands had stopped shaking, my breath was also steadier. I sighed.

"Man this is all so pointless. I'm just making a fool of myself." I mumbled under my breath.

"Don't say that Luna. I don't ever want you to regret telling me how you feel. To hide what you're feeling is to hide who you are. How does anyone know to help if you don't say anything?"

"I'm just too ashamed. I doubted that anyone would care, I wasn't close enough to share these feelings with anyone. I'd feel even worse about myself if I tried explaining to someone that I let my boyfriend emotionally and mentally abuse me on a daily basis. I'd look stupid. How could I acknowledge all the bad he had done to me and still continue our relationship? I can only imagine how others would see me…I'm such an idiot. I'm to blame as well for my mental health. I was neglecting myself." My attention was suddenly forced on Goku's stern expression, he was holding my chin with his thumb and forefinger.

"These are all assumptions Luna. Do you want to know what I see? I see a young, super bright women with an enormous heart, who just happened to give it to the wrong person. I see a women who's struggling alone and I want nothing more than to help her…You've displayed your sincere feelings to me and I don't see you as weak or dumb. It's admirable Luna, I'm actually learning a lot from you also. I want to learn more on how to help you so you can achieve the happiness you deserve." I was holding back tears. The pain and heaviness I experienced after every anxiety attack would take hours to dissolve on my own…but Goku…he managed to make it all disappear. His words actually touched me. How bizarre…I usually don't take advice or compliments well at all because I was so stubborn and pessimistic. I removed my hands from his grasp and cupped his together instead. This isn't normal for me at all, my heart rate had returned to his regular pace, how was this happening? This had to be some sort of power he had, there had to be an explanation…

"Goku…This is fucking crazy…" I gripped his hands tightly and starred down straight into my lap. Did this man have no flaws? He never failed to surprise me…this was too much. He was perfect, he was pure, he messed with my emotions…this wasn't fair for me. I didn't deserve anyone like Goku, I would never have anyone like Goku, I wasn't ready to be with anyone, in other words…I had to remove myself from this situation. Goku had all the qualities of someone I was capable of falling for so for my mental and emotional health I had to break ties…I couldn't treat this all like some crazy adventure. I couldn't just leave this world because things weren't going well for me. I had to become whole again on my own, if I ever wanted to be the best possible women for whoever I was meant to be with I had to become independent. I finally looked up at the Saiyan, tearfully.

"Luna what's the matter? Why are you crying?" His confused expression pained me. This had to be done, I had to do this for me…and for him. I let this go on for too long already.

"You're too much Goku…" I began.

"Too much?"

"I'm a fucked up person Goku. I am not stable AT ALL. Who do you know breaks down at the thought of meeting a new group of people? There is something seriously wrong with me! I'm not an idiot though…I know I can get better but it's going to take some time…" I paused to give him a moment to say something, but he remained silent. He wasn't looking at me anymore, instead he starred down at my hands that were wrapped around his. Hesitantly I released my grip on them. This is just as hard as I assumed it would be…

"Thank you for everything that you've done for me, truly I am grateful Goku. I can't go to your world though, I need to stay here."

"Luna…I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable. I just wanted to help—"

"I understand that, you haven't done a microscopic thing wrong. In fact you've had a really huge impact on me Goku. I don't think I would have gotten to this point if it wasn't for you. I have to admit something to you though…my heart is vulnerable right now and you being…well you—I started developing feelings for you. I'm just being stupid though, you're a married man with kids and I never want to be THAT women. I'm not even going to try." This caught his attention, oh God this was painful. His brows were furrowed as he starred at me intensely.

"Jesus this is humiliating. Look Goku, for my own good you should probably…not think of me. Don't feel responsible for saving me or anything, I want to become the person I know I am capable of being. I need to get better…I'm so sorry." I was choking up at this point. Luna remember, this is the BEST thing for you. I'll find a way out of this mad house, I'll learn to be on my own, I'll find myself…Suddenly I was brought into Goku's broad chest. One of his hands cupped the back of my hand and the other was wrapped around my waist. Instead of embracing him back I held on to the material on the front of his shirt, holding back tears.

"Do whatever you need to do Luna. I'm sorry if I've made this more complicated than they needed to be. No doubt you'll accomplish your goal. You're really amazing you know that? I can't say good bye to you though…" The tears were flowing at this point. I was going to miss him so much. I couldn't believe I had decided to turn things around this way…I couldn't remember the last time I had done something so…responsible. I only hoped I was making the right decision…

"Luna if you ever need me…just call ok? I'll see you again, I promise." His lips were on my forehead and then the room was silent. Opening my eyes to discover that I was the only one in my room. All alone. Just like I wanted…