Spencer sat on his couch trying to look over the notes he brought home with him. He had just left the office with the promise to return tomorrow morning with the rest of the team. As he stared at the papers littering his coffee table, there was a knock at the door. He stood up and walked over, swinging the door open.
"Emily, there's nothing more to say," Spencer said as he sighed heavily.
"Are you kidding me? Of course there's more to say. Spencer, out of everyone I wanted to tell you where I was the most. There were so many nights I thought of writing you or calling you anonymously just to hear your voice," she said.
"But you couldn't. I know, you've already said that," Spencer said rolling his eyes.
"Please, I know it's going to take a lot to forgive me, but please don't push me away. I can't … I can't bare that," she said as a tear slipped from her eyes.
"What did you think you would accomplish here? What were you hoping for exactly?" Spencer asked as he folded his arms across his chest.
"I don't know. I … I guess I'd hoped you at least hear me out … and we could work on fixing us," she said.
"Us?" he said raising an eyebrow.
"I know … we never talked about that … um … that night, but I think about it all the time. It's the only thing that got me through this. Knowing someday I might get to see you again," she said nervously.
"So you hoped that you'd come here and I'd pull you in my arms," he said as he did just that. "Tell you how much I missed you and can't live without you." Emily closed her eyes as a tear slid down her cheek. She felt his warm finger wipe the tear away.
Spencer put his hand into her soft black hair and pushed her face to his. Their lips crashing together. Emily sighed as she opened her mouth and attacked his tongue with hers. As they ravaged each other's mouths, Spencer began to unbutton her black button up shirt. Once it was halfway unbuttoned he pulled it over her head before taking off her bra. He didn't waste a moment in tugging his shirt off. Once he tossed it to the floor, he lifted her up in his arms and carried her into his bedroom.
Placing her down on the bed, he unclasped her gray pants and pulled them off, leaving her in just her underwear. Spencer climbed on top of her, Emily threw her arms around his neck pulling him down to her mouth.
"I missed you so much," Emily said as Spencer sucked at her neck. Trailing his kisses and tongue down her body. Suckling at her breasts as she moaned in pleasure.
Spencer ran his hand down her body and teased her entrance with his palm rubbing the outside of her panties. Emily squirmed under his touch, biting her bottom lip as she moaned. "I missed your touch. I dreamed of this every night," she said as she ran her hand across his face.
Spencer didn't say anything he just watched her a moment before slipping her panties to the side and slipping his finger into her. Emily gasped as she arched against his touch. He continued to press his finger firmly into her as he added another, while rubbing her clit with his thumb. Emily clutched at the bedsheets as she grunted and cried out.
"Come here, I want you close to me," she said breathlessly. "I want to feel you inside of me."
"Not yet. Let yourself go. Let me watch you let go," he said as he pushed his fingers harder and quicker.
Emily moaned and closed her eyes as she let herself feel his touch. It felt so good to feel him again. She thought they would never get this intimacy back. Her heart was soaring and soon she felt herself growing tighter.
"Yes, Spencer, right there. Oh … yes … fuck you're so good," she cried. "I'm almost there! Fuck Spencer … fuck!" Suddenly he felt the warmth of her orgasm spilling out of her onto his fingers, his wrist, and the bedsheet.
He pulled his finger out and stood up from the bed, wiping his hand off on the comforter. He bent down and grabbed Emily's pants laying them on the bed. He started to walk out of the bedroom, when Emily sat up startled.
"Spence? Where are you going?" she asked grabbing the sheet to cover her body. She suddenly felt exposed and self-conscious.
She waited until Spencer returned carrying her shirt and tossed it to her. Emily looked at it in stunned silence as she watch him put his shirt back on.
"Spencer …" she said as tears filled her eyes.
"You can go now," he said.
"What? Why … are you doing this?" she asked as she shook in the bed.
"You know how you feel right now? Completely broken, stripped raw? That is how you left me among many other emotions. All I ever meant to you was a good fuck. So you got what you came for, you can go," he said bitterly.
Emily's jaw was dropped in shock. She couldn't believe her sweet Spencer would ever be this sadistic toward her. To leave her this vulnerable … the way … she left him. She started sobbing.
"Spencer, I'm sorry. I know that I can never make up for what I did to you, but I promise you that I never ever used you for sex. I meant what I said about missing you. My feelings for you are genuine," she said as tears streamed down her cheeks.
"Bullshit Emily! If you cared an ounce about me you would have never left me the way you did! You would never have left me to mourn the loss of the woman I loved with all my heart. You were everything to me Emily and … and I fucking … I would've died for you. I would've done anything I could've to protect you from Doyle, but you chose to leave. To hide and never look back. I would never do that to you. I would never leave the person I loved," he said as tears now filled his eyes.
"Spencer, we can fix this. I love you too and I won't ever leave you again," she said jumping up from the bed no longer caring that she was practically naked.
"It doesn't matter Emily. There will never be an us," he said as he walked out of the room. She watched as he grabbed his wallet and keys.
"Where are you going? This is your place?" she said panicking.
"I'm going to go out for a bit," he said as he reached for the doorknob.
"You … you said you would never leave the person you love," she said.
He held the doorknob before turning it and swinging the door open. "I wouldn't." With that the door closed leaving Emily to drop to the floor in hysterics.
(xxxxx)
Penelope tied her purple fuzzy robe tight around her waist as she shuffled to the front door. Unlocking it and swinging the door open, she saw a distraught Emily staring back at her.
"Emily? What's wrong?" she asked concerned.
"I didn't know where else to go," Emily sobbed.
"Oh sweetness, come here," Penelope said as she pulled Emily into her arms.
Ten minutes later they were snuggled into the couch, each with a cup of hot tea in their hands.
"So you want to tell me what happened?" Garcia asked as she placed her cup down.
"I fucked up Pen. Big time," Emily said as she stared blankly at the floor.
"Elaborate," Penelope said tucking her feet underneath of her.
"There … was someone I cared about deeply. Who I really hurt by leaving …" she started.
"Look, you woke me up at 2 in the morning to talk. So please do me the favor of being completely open with me. I will keep any information to myself, but I'm going to get annoyed with this vague nonsense," Penelope said a little grumpily.
Emily nodded and took a deep breath.
"The night at Rossi's, where we were all drinking and fooling around?" she began. Penelope nodded her remembrance. "The kiss with Reid … I … gosh why is this so hard to say out loud?" Penelope gave her a hard stare, so Emily closed her eyes and just blurted it out. "I wanted to kiss him way before that night. I don't know when things began to change, but I constantly dreamed of being more than just friends with him. I never said anything because I didn't think he would feel the same way and couldn't risk ruining our friendship. That night after the kiss, I felt the spark and I knew I needed more. So, when you fell asleep I snuck into his bedroom and we had sex."
"O! M! G! Shut up!" Penelope gasped. "Was it good? How big is he? Is he skilled?"
"Garcia!" Emily admonished.
"Sorry," she said sheepishly. "We'll get to that later. Go on."
Emily took a deep breath. "I wanted to talk about it with him more, but I was still so afraid of his rejection that we never spoke of that night again."
"What?" Penelope said. "Ok, sorry. Mouth shut. I know."
"When Hotch told me that he faked my death to protect the team I didn't want to. I told him no, but he told me we were all in danger. Besides Doyle coming after me, he had made various threats regarding the team as well. I begged Hotch to let the team know, but he said that it risked their lives and he refused to tell them. I wrote Spencer a note, but tore it up remembering how many people left him goodbye notes … plus Hotch would've probably killed me himself if he found out. So with that, I had to go to Paris. Where I pretended to be Isabella Furee. It was horrible and I spent most of my days in my flat. Eventually I was sick of hiding and decided I'd rather die than never see you guys again. So I flew back home. Apparently Doyle followed me. One night when I was out for a walk, I saw him. I pretended I hadn't and walked into an alley where I bent over to 'tie my shoe.' Before he could reach me I turned and shot him straight in the head. Honestly I don't know how he was that stupid after all these years to be that easy to kill. I mean I literally followed that asshole around the world and in one stupid move I was able to take him down."
"Sounds like you had an angel watching over you," Penelope said watching her with amazement.
Emily shrugged.
"I don't deserve it. Not after what I put you guys through. Especially Reid," she said sadly.
"I know its hard Emily, but he will forgive you. He went through a lot while you were gone. He took it harder than anyone, which now makes sense given your history," Penelope said.
"Tonight I went to see him and I tried to talk to him. I really don't want to talk about what happened, but it didn't end well. Let's just say I was left humiliated and he stormed out of the house leaving me alone," she said still nauseous at the thought of being left the way she had.
"Wait, where did he go? Did he say where he was going?" Penelope asked sitting up straighter.
"Uh … no … he didn't. Why?" Emily asked scrunching her brow in confusion.
"Oh boy! Oh boy!" Penelope jumped up and grabbed her cell phone.
"What's going on?" Emily said watching Penelope pace her living room, phone to ear.
"Derek, I'm sorry to wake you, but we have a Code Reid! He isn't there with you is he?"
"Code Reid?" Emily repeated.
"Ok, ok. I'm on it. Give me a second," Penelope ignored Emily racing towards another room.
Emily followed her to see that she dropped in front of her computer. She turned it on and began typing furiously away as multiple screens popped up. After a moment, a small map with a red dot appeared with Spencer's address flashing.
"He's at his place. Ok, we're on our way," Penelope said as she hung up the phone.
"Garcia what is going on?" Emily cried as her heart raced.
"No time. We need to go. I'll explain on the way."