Hello! Here's the next chapter! I got overwhelmed with exams so it was hard to update, but I promise I will finish this story! The next chapter will be posted soon and will be filled with a lot more Hermione and Draco moments!

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, but the plot!

Draco woke up the next morning with a start. His neck and back were killing him and for some reason he was sitting in his desk chair, facing his bed. Wondering if he'd fallen asleep while doing schoolwork, Draco looked around for any sign that he'd been studying. Finally, his gaze landed on a pair of his pajamas neatly folded on the corner of his perfectly made bed.

He suddenly remembered walking the brunette that occupied so many of his thoughts lately through the rain and ending up back at his apartment. He also remembered a kiss that shook him to his very core and stopping them from going any further.

Draco immediately shot up out of his chair, watching as a little piece of paper ripped out of the journal on his desk floated onto the floor in front of him. It looked like it was carefully taped to his forehead sometime after he fell asleep. He bent down and picked up the paper, turning it over in his hand.

Thanks.

That's all it said in messy handwriting. Draco checked the clock on the wall. Seeing that it was ten in the morning, he rushed out of his room and found Theo sitting in the living room by himself with a cup of coffee and a book.

"Morning. Anything you want to tell me?"

"Where is she?" Draco asked, scanning the room for any sign of her.

"If you mean Hermione," Theo replied, lazily turning another page. "She left an hour ago. I cooked her some breakfast and then she said she needed to go."

"You cooked her breakfast?"

"Well I put cereal in a bowl and told her to at least eat it before she left."

"That's not cooking, Theo."

Theo shrugged, finally looking up at the frazzled blonde.

"You weren't up yet. What else was I supposed to do?"

"Maybe learn how to be competent for once," Draco muttered, trying to hide his disappointment and turning to go back into his room.

"Why would I? Especially when I have such a pretty live in cook?" Theo called before the door to Draco's room slammed shut.

Draco laid down in his bed and closed his eyes. It still smelt like her a little.

He didn't really know what to do with himself now that she was gone. After a moment's hesitation, Draco got up and opened his backpack, pulling out her journal.

She doesn't need to know. I can just take a little peak. What's the harm in that?

Draco opened the little journal to find all kinds of sketches and reminders that Hermione jotted down for herself. It looked like she hadn't written her thoughts in it for a long time. The more recent pages were filled with studying tips and strategies for the freshman that she helped teach. He flipped back towards the beginning of the book and found his name written down several times. A quick scan revealed that it was just recounts of the various times he irritated her over the years. Draco rolled his eyes. Trust the bookworm to keep a detailed account of every time he pissed her off.

Draco flipped forward about fifty pages until he reached one that had some water damage and had become worn over time. It wasn't a lot, but the little circles of water dotting the page were noticeable.

He doesn't even look at me anymore. It's like we never even knew each other. It makes me feel crazy. Almost like all of the memories of us were just made up by me. Like it never actually happened.

I miss him. It's ridiculous how much I do. Ginny thinks it's because I love him, but I think it's because I feel free when I'm with him. I don't feel like I'm drowning in responsibilities and expectations when we're together. I can just be myself, because we just accept each other for who we are and we're honest when the other person fucks up. At least, I thought we were like that.

On one hand, it doesn't feel like I'll ever really know Draco, but it also feels like I don't need to guess with him. I used to be able to count on him to tell me exactly what he was thinking, but ever since this past summer it feels like he's changed. He cares more about what other people think now, which is weird to me. He's the one who told me to just be myself when we first met, but I guess it's harder to know who that is when you start to grow up.

I should forget about him, but I can't. I think about him every day and I wish we could go back to normal, but then I hear his voice telling Adrian I'm disgusting. I never expected Draco to think I was anything special, but I did think we were at least friends. Now I know though. All the times he made fun of how I looked or acted or anything else. That was the truth. It wasn't just teasing. That's what he actually thinks of me and I'm a fucking idiot for thinking he ever cared about me.

I still have Ginny, Padma and Luna, but I feel like I don't really know anyone anymore.

Draco stopped reading and traced his fingers over the spots where water had wrinkled the paper. They were her tears. He'd made her cry. The idea was unbelievable to him, and made his chest feel heavy with guilt. She always seemed so immovable and put together. The only times he'd ever seen her lose her composure was when she was angry. In five years, he'd never actually seen her sad. Knowing he'd been able to hurt her in the past, upset him more than he thought it would.

Draco frowned and flipped forward a few more pages, trying to ignore his immediate urge to find Hermione. He didn't know what he would say. He just wanted to be with her right then. After many pages, Draco stopped again on a new entry during their seventh year at Hogwarts.

Malfoy's been staring at me a lot lately. I don't know what his problem is. He also keeps snapping at Blaise and insulting him for no reason. We were at Ron's birthday party this past weekend, and Malfoy actually told Blaise that he should get up and move down to the other end of the table because he wanted to sit by Hannah. There were empty seats next to him, and he still wanted Blaise to move. I obviously got angry and asked why the fuck my boyfriend should have to move, but neither of them even answered me and just continued to glare at each other. Malfoy left early from the party. I don't actually think he stayed to eat dinner.

I think it's because of me. He hates me for some reason. I sort of understand, because part of me hates him too, but he did something to me. He terrorized me for two years. What did I ever do to him?

Blaise tells me not to think about it. I think he's jealous, though he has no reason to be. We've been working on that. He gets jealous pretty easily, but he's also so unbelievably sweet to me. It feels like he saved me from myself, which is something I'll always be thankful for.

He came over today and a slow song started playing on the radio, so Blaise started dancing with me. It felt like everything slowed down. My head stopped hurting and I felt so comfortable resting against him while we danced.

The way he makes me feel is unbelievable. I feel like I can laugh again, without holding anything back and it's been so long since I felt this free. Blaise is honestly-

Draco stopped reading and flipped towards the end of the journal. Reading the entries where she was happy with that dick not only upset him because it was Blaise, but also because he knew what would end up happening to her. He'd known they were close at Hogwarts, because they were always seen together during their sixth and seventh years, but he had no idea she viewed him so highly.

He made her feel free, Draco thought to himself. She said I used to make her feel like that too.

Shaking his head, Draco stopped flipping through the pages and began to read again. This entry was dated during the spring semester of their freshman year at NYU. Hermione was already back together with the idiot at that point.

He's yelling at me again. It feels like it's always about him. I'm so tired of all this. Why does it feel like we're always fighting and he's never listening to me? It's also completely unfair. Why am I not allowed to ask him where he is and get worried when he doesn't answer me for days, but he's allowed to bitch at me when I'm a couple of hours late coming home after class, so I can't immediately call him. Then he goes on and on about how I don't understand that he needs a lot of sleep and time to relax because he has to work a lot. It's like it never even occurs to him that I'm doing so much here just to make sure there's even a chance I can get into medical school. Everything is ALWAYS about him. Why am I putting myself through this? I've lost all respect for myself for letting him back into my life.

But then he tells me he needs me. What am I supposed to do then?

The blonde frowned slightly as he read. Things obviously took a turn for the worse. He hated knowing what she'd gone through in that hellish relationship, but he couldn't stop reading. It felt like he was getting a little peek into her life over the past few years and he would be lying if he said he wasn't curious about it.

Draco scanned through a few more pages before finally landing on an entry from a few months ago over the summer. He laid back against his pillows and settled in to read the long entry, immersing himself in her words.

I woke up gasping for breath, with my heart racing and in dark, unfamiliar surroundings. I couldn't remember the last time I woke up normally. I instinctively glanced at the empty space in the bed next to me, expecting to see Blaise sleeping. That's when I remembered the events of the past few days and felt my heart break a little bit more.

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to think through the pounding in my head. The sheets were drenched with sweat and I was shaking uncontrollably. Taking deep breaths, I tried to focus on calming down. I'd been sleeping in my sister's room ever since Blaise and I broke up because of countless memories of him sleeping with me in my own bedroom

I'm okay. It's over. I don't need him. Maybe he changed his mind though? You should text him to make sure. NO! DON'T TEXT HIM! You're just checking on him. It doesn't mean anything.

Before I could stop myself, I reached for my phone and opened my messages. I scrolled down to his name and opened our conversation. And then I just stopped. I didn't know what to do. I didn't even know if there was anything left to say.

I felt my heart rate slow down and checked the alarm clock next to me and saw the bright red four o'clock. Groaning, I put my phone back on the headboard of my sister's bed and stared up at the ceiling, which was illuminated by the soft yellow glow of the childish moon-shaped, nightlight plugged in near the bed, which was covered in fluffy, horrendously pink sheets.

I never slept well to begin with, but for the past few days I managed to fall asleep at around midnight, only to wake up four hours later. It was like clockwork. I was always exhausted, but I couldn't go back to sleep because of the nightmares. I had bad dreams almost every night since I was twelve years old, making it hard for me to calm down long enough to sleep anymore. As a result, Blaise started to call me through the night, so when I woke up crying or screaming, I would know he was there and that everything was okay.

I blinked back my tears at that realization. I was going to have to sleep alone from now on. These nightmares were bad, but I knew they could be worse. Right now, it was just memories of Blaise and dreams of him coming back, but in the past my dreams were about burglars, murderers and rapists. My parents tried to teach me about all of the dangers in the world when I was younger, showing me news articles about people walking home alone that got kidnapped and hurt because they weren't being safe. A lot of the time it wasn't even a safety issue, it was simply a case of someone being in the wrong place at the wrong time. However, to my parents, these were all teaching opportunities for them to use so that my sister and I could learn about the possible dangers in the world. That's when the nightmares started, and they never stopped.

I sighed and closed my eyes again, resigning myself to a couple of sleepless hours lying in bed before I could get up and finally begin the day.

"Come on, please come with us?"

I grabbed a striped blue and white blouse off of the clothes rack in front of me and showed it to the blonde currently pleading with me.

"What about this one?"

"Too frumpy," Hannah decided after a moment's consideration. "Stop changing the subject. Come with us. It'll be fun."

"Hannah," I sighed, placing the shirt back on the rack. "I can't just leave home and go with you to Manhattan tomorrow."

"Why not? We'll only be gone for the day and I promise I'll bring you back in one piece."

"My parents barely let me wander around Fayetteville alone," I began. "There is no way they would be okay with me going to Manhattan with just a couple of other people for no reason."

"Hermione, you go to college at NYU. You're away from them for most of the year anyway. You can't keep letting them control your life! You know nothing's going to happen and I know nothing's going to happen. It doesn't matter how your parents feel because they're not you! What do you want to do?"

I hesitated. It'd been a long time since I'd gone to Manhattan just for fun and I could only benefit from relaxing with Hannah far away from anywhere I could potentially run into Blaise. If it was just up to me, I would definitely want to go.

"It'll be cleansing for the soul," she tried.

"Cleansing for the soul? That's the route you're taking? When have I ever been someone who cleanses their soul?"

"Exactly," she grinned and linked her arm with mine, leading me out of the store. "You haven't cleansed your soul, so you need to soon and this is the perfect opportunity."

"That's debatable, but I'll humor you for now. Who else are you planning to bring?"

"Cedric. Do you remember him?"

Cedric Diggory was well known at Hogwarts. He was pretty much the Golden Boy. He was amazing at every sport, extremely handsome, and one of the nicest men anyone had ever known. He was also in love with Hannah when we were in our fourth year and he was in his sixth.

"You guys still talk?" I asked.

"Yeah, we're pretty close. It was awkward at first, but I don't need to tell you how sometimes someone who sees you as a potential girlfriend can become your best friend."

"You're right about that," I muttered, thinking of Harry.

"So, will you please come?" she begged one more time. "Who knows! Maybe something will happen between you and Cedric!"

"That won't be weird for you?"

"Cedric hasn't liked me in ages and I never even liked him. All of that ended once I started dating Graham."

Graham Pritchard was another one of Hannah's admirers in the past. The two of them dated for almost four years before he ended it with her over the phone while she was in Colorado for college. Their entire relationship had been filled with arguments over whether or not they were officially together. It was common knowledge that Graham cheated on Hannah countless times during their relationship, which led to Hannah making excuses for him and saying that she didn't want anything serious either. I always knew better though, but I couldn't do anything about it. Once Hannah set her mind on something, there wasn't much that could stop her. I also didn't think it was my place to prevent her from doing what she wanted. She had my trust and I would only get involved when he hurt her and it was time for me to kick his ass.

Unfortunately, Hannah continued to give him multiple chances over the past few years, but this time when they broke up it was permanent because he left her for someone else. Graham apparently started talking to Katie Bell at the beginning of the year and decided to start dating her because she went to Syracuse University with him. Hannah was devastated and at the end of semester decided she needed to come back home, resulting in her transferring to Syracuse.

Part of me was worried that her reasons for coming back home for school had less to do with homesickness and more to do with being closer to him and possibly getting back together with him. I could understand that, since I almost transferred to Syracuse after Blaise and I broke up the last time. Luckily, I didn't, and it didn't even occur to me to transfer this time around. However, Hannah insisted that she wasn't transferring for him the one time I asked her about it and I dropped it after that, wisely deciding that my only job was to support her decision and encourage her to do whatever made her happy.

"Are you coming with us?" Hannah asked, pulling me out of my thoughts.

I considered going on her trip again. She had a point. I was tired of other people, including my parents, controlling my life. If I wanted to go, I should just go.

Blaise wouldn't have wanted me to go, a voice in the back of my head reminded me insistently.

Well that settles it then.

"I call shotgun."

I was sitting on the edge of a familiar bed with black, satin covers in a room with walls painted a dark emerald green. I smiled fondly at the man playing games on his computer at the desk near me before resuming a video on my phone.

Crack!

I gasped and pulled my feet protectively under me glaring at my boyfriend.

"BLAISE! You know I hate that!"

He grinned mischievously and tried to grab my feet again.

"I know, but your reaction is so cute. Did it actually hurt?"

I wiggled my toes experimentally. They felt fine, despite him cracking them moments earlier.

"Yes," I lied.

"Liar," he said, getting up from his desk and advancing towards me.

I stuck out my tongue at him and screamed when he suddenly picked me up and spun me around before falling back on the bed with me half on top of him. I tried to wriggle out of his arms, but eventually gave up, huffing in mild annoyance.

"Don't ever let me leave you again princess," he said, brushing my hair out of my eyes and placing a soft kiss on my temple. "I need you more than you'll ever know."

"Hmm," I hummed, giving him a content smile as I relaxed in his arms and closed my eyes. "Never."

"I miss you so much."

I frowned in confusion. How could he miss me when I was right there?

"What? Why? I'm not going anywhere."

Blaise just smiled at me in response and leaned forward to kiss me.

I shot up out of bed right before his lips landed on mine. My heart was racing, and I had tunnel vision from sitting up too fast. I tried in vain to focus on my surroundings as I began to remember where I was and why.

Once everything hit me all over again, for what felt like the hundredth time, I curled into a tight ball and pulled my sister's bed sheets over my head. I didn't even know when I'd started sobbing.

I'm fine. You're not. I don't need him. No one else is ever going to love you. That's not true! You blew it. STOP IT!

I covered my ears and tried to stop brain from reminding me of every single fear I had. Every time I thought I was okay, it felt like there was a little voice in my head telling me I wasn't. And every time I managed to finally convince myself that our breakup was for the best, my anxiety reminded me that I was all alone now. It was like I was constantly fighting with myself to be a somewhat normal person.

Maybe I should text him? That's a good idea, you need him. If you apologize and promise things will be different this time, then you can get back together.

My fingers enclosed around my phone and slowly brought it closer to me. I was breathing heavily, and my tears were blurring the little LED screen that lit up at the push of a button. Fortunately, the digital clock at the corner of the screen stopped me from sending Blaise anything. It was five in the morning. Hannah would be at my house to pick me up for our little trip in around half an hour.

Once my breathing slowed, I managed to make my way to the bathroom and splash some cold water on my face. It helped a little bit, but not much.

The lack of sleep was starting to get to me. There were dark rings under my eyes and my bones felt weak, like they were struggling to hold me up.

Ding!

I glanced at my phone screen and saw a message from Hannah.

I'm on my way!

Typing out a quick acknowledgement, I rushed to finish getting ready, thankfully forgetting my dream for the time being.

"Hannah, you've lost your mind," I argued. "This is completely unnecessary!"

"I am helping you achieve spiritual enlightenment; how can you say that's unnecessary?"

"I can say that when it requires me waking up at five in the morning. And now you're saying I have to write a paper about my feelings?"

"Yes!" she insisted. "Haven't you ever kept a diary before?"

"No?" I lied.

I didn't tell anyone about my journal. It was filled with things that I wasn't willing to ever say out loud.

"That's why you feel like such a mess! It's good to catalogue your emotions."

"I don't feel like a mess!" I turned in my seat towards the brunette sitting in the back of the car. "Please, for the love of god, back me up here Cedric."

He let out a deep chuckle at our bickering and shook his head.

"You're on your own Hermione," he grinned. "I'm perfectly content to sit back here in the crap seat without Hannah's wrath directed towards me."

I shot him a glare before I continued to defend myself from Hannah's well-meaning attempts to improve my lifestyle.

"My life's perfectly fine, Hannah."

"Fine," she briefly relented, "you win for now. But let's talk about your romantic life."

"That sounds like hell."

"Maybe, but lucky for you I love you, so we'll go through it together," she said, briefly taking her eyes off of the road to smile at me.

"Fine," I leaned back in my seat and lowered my sunglasses from on top of my head. "Proceed."

"Well, first of all you need to not go for bad boys."

"I don't think I do that."

"Oh, please," Hannah rolled her eyes dismissively, "the only two guys you've ever given a chance are Blaise Zabini and Draco Malfoy."

"I have never-"

My tirade was almost immediately interrupted by Cedric.

"Okay," Cedric began, "I completely agree with that."

"Excuse me?"

"No, not that you liked Draco," Cedric reassured me. "But why do guys like Draco Malfoy get so much action? You know how many people he's had sex with? Girls practically throw themselves at him."

"He's hot," Hannah said. "Not to mention athletic, smart and funny. If he wasn't such a dick, he'd be the total package. Plus, I've heard he's like a sex god."

I wrinkled my nose distastefully.

"Could we please not talk about Malfoy or his bedside manner?"

"You know Lavender knows a lot about that?" Hannah asked, ignoring my disgust. "They hooked up during our seventh year."

I did know that piece of information. I'd actually heard it from Lavender herself almost a year ago and was trying to forget it ever since.

"What?" Cedric looked utterly shocked. "How far did they go?"

"Third base."

"Ew," he said, voicing my thoughts. "That's fucked up. Weren't he and Ron best friends back then?"

"That's where the dickishness comes in," I muttered.

"It was a couple of weeks after they broke up," Hannah said shrugging, "but yeah, it wasn't good."

"I fail to see how Lavender and Malfoy having no morals has anything to do with me or my love life."

"I'm just establishing your pattern of behavior," she claimed, directing her attention back towards me.

"Hannah, you dated Graham," Cedric intervened again before I could argue whether Malfoy had any relevance to my pattern of behavior. "It looks like both of you make the same mistakes when it comes to dating."

"Yes, but I've gone through my cleansing. And now it's time for Hermione's." She clapped in excitement after parking her car. "Anyway's this is the perfect time for all of us to find someone new. It's been months since any of us have had sex, which means we are all virgins again."

"That's not how virginity works," Cedric laughed.

"Yes, it is!" Hannah insisted. "It's been like five months since I've had sex! How long has it been for you Cedric?"

"Four, I think."

"Hermione?"

I tensed imperceptibly.

"Can we not talk about this anymore, Hannah?"

"Come on! We're all friends here! How long has it been since you and Blaise had sex?"

"Hannah," I warned. "Drop it."

"Just tell us, Hermione. Don't be such a prude."

"Hannah, I said DROP IT."

Realization suddenly dawned on her, causing her to let out a soft gasp of surprise.

"You mean, you've never-"

"Hannah," Cedric said quietly. "I think you need to stop."

"Right," she muttered, turning back to the road and avoiding looking at me. "Sorry."

The rest of the drive was thankfully silent as we all got lost in our own thoughts. Doing my best to ignore the feeling of Cedric's concerned gaze on the back of my head and the way Hannah kept glancing at me out of the corner of her eyes, I put my headphones into my ears and stared out the window.

I felt like a freak being examined at a zoo.

I'm not a freak. You're the reason this trip is uncomfortable now. That's not true. You should have just stayed home.

Hours later, I was lying on a park bench with my legs hanging over the armrest while I watched Hannah take thousands of pictures of all the flora and fauna. As much as I had teased her about the spiritual purpose behind this trip, she'd been right about how enjoyable it would be. Despite the earlier awkwardness, I felt relaxed and happy for the first time in weeks.

"Is there room for one more?" A voice asked from above me.

I glanced up to see Cedric leaning over me with a teasing grin gracing his face.

"For such a small person, you take up a lot of room on this bench."

"I like my space," I said, smiling back at him before sitting up and offering him the seat where my head had previously been.

We both sat in companionable silence for a little bit and listened to the birds chirping in the trees around us.

"How are you feeling?" he asked after a few minutes.

"I'm fine."

"Just fine?"

"Should I be feeling something else?"

He laughed and gently nudged my shoulder with his own.

"Not particularly. You're a great person though, so I was hoping you would feel a little better than fine."

"I bet you say that to everyone," I grinned.

"Not usually. You're a bit different. I always thought you were like a genius at Hogwarts. I was actually kind of intimidated by you."

"Intimidated?"

"Yeah," he turned in his seat and directed all his attention on me. "You were like an enigma. Smart, but not pushy about it, cute, but you didn't even care, and genuinely nice, but also willing to punch Pucey in the face, which was legendary by the way."

I grinned at that memory. Years later and it was still satisfying to think about.

"I was a know-it-all when I was younger," I said, choosing to ignore the rest of his analysis. "When we got older though, I didn't see the point in proving that I wasn't stupid to other people."

"That's a good outlook to have. I honestly don't think Zabini deserved you by the way."

"Yeah, I've been hearing that a lot lately."

"It's true though. Everyone respected you and knew how great you are. He doesn't realize how good he had it," Cedric insisted.

I briefly smiled at him and turned away, not wanting to think about Blaise longer than I had to and fighting the instinctive urge to defend him.

He gently pushed a lock of hair behind my ear and I stiffened at the unfamiliar contact.

"You deserve someone who knows how special you are."

I hesitated for a moment before forcing my body to relax. I was single, there was nothing wrong with another guy touching me.

Just shut up and enjoy yourself for once, I mentally reprimanded myself for thinking too much.

"Would you like to hang out sometime?"

It took me a second to realize those words came out of my mouth, not his.

What are you doing?!

I knew exactly what I was doing, I was trying to get over Blaise faster by being with someone else.

Yes, Hermione. Because that's a great idea.

Regardless of whether or not it was a good idea, was Cedric really the best person to date? I knew very little about him.

You know he's good friends with Hannah. And that he's sweet and nice to everyone. That's already better than Blaise by default.

He also goes to Colorado for college and I couldn't even maintain a relationship with someone who was four hours away from me.

Yes, but who says this needs to last beyond the summer?

A valid point. I didn't need to be in love with the next person I dated. What was wrong with a temporary fling?

"Hermione? Did you hear me?"

"Huh?" was my intelligent response.

"I said, I'd love to," he laughed at my confusion.

"Oh, right."

"We can plan it after we get home?"

"Yeah, that works for me," I said, managing a smile.

"I'm looking forward to it," he said taking my hand in his and squeezing it before getting off the bench and making his way toward Hannah, who was now following a little pigeon and taking hundreds of pictures of it.

I watched the tall, lean man walk away from me for another second before I resumed my earlier horizontal position on the bench, closing my eyes and relaxing in the summer heat. It felt like I was surrounded by a warm blanket because of the sunlight shining on me. It wasn't too hot or too cold, it was perfect. For the first time in a very long time, I felt optimistic for the future.

Unfortunately, when Hannah finally dropped me off at home that night, I was feeling tense again. All I could think about was how Blaise reacted the last time he found out that I was moving on with someone else.

Maybe you should cancel on Cedric. There's no reason to. Blaise will get mad. Well, fuck him. He can tell everyone about all of your secrets. He would do it. It's what he did last time.

The fear that came with the possibility of everyone from Hogwarts knowing intimate details about me was all it took to convince me that I should talk to Blaise at least.

This way he can just get mad at me and not find out through anyone else, I reasoned.

I quickly typed out a simple text message to send to him.

Hey! I know it hasn't been long since we broke up, but we dated for three years and broke up once already. I kind of feel like we've been through this many times before, so I just want to move on with my life. But I wanted you to hear it from me that I'm going on a date with someone soon. It's not anyone your friends with, but I didn't want you to hear it from someone else. I hope you can be happy for me and that you know this has nothing to do with you. It's more about me moving on than anything else, and I think it's about time I did. I'm going to go to bed now, but we can talk tomorrow or some other time if you want to!

I read over it one more time before sending it. The text seemed simple enough. I thought it was fairly straightforward and polite. Odds were that he wouldn't care anyway, judging from how he acted during our breakup. Feeling marginally better, I curled up in bed and thought some more about Cedric and all the possibilities that were available to me for the summer now that I was single.

Ring, Ring.

I slowly opened my eyes, rubbing them as I was woken up by a noise that I could have sworn was coming from hell. Once I regained enough of my sense to realize that the aggressive ringing was actually coming from my phone, I groaned and answered the phone call without checking the Caller ID.

"Hello?" I said stifling a yawn.

"Who is it?" a voice demanded.

I blinked in confusion.

Didn't this person call me?

Finally, I checked the Caller ID and felt my heart drop. It was Blaise. He'd called me 28 times before I finally picked up.

"It's Hermione," I said cautiously. "You called me?"

"Not that. You know what I'm asking. Who are you going on a date with?"

My heart was beating way too fast and I could feel the familiar stinging sensation behind my eyelids that signaled tears. His voice was so achingly familiar. Even though he was angry, listening to him immediately brought back so many fond memories that I'd been struggling to suppress.

I took some deep, calming breaths before opening my mouth again.

"Why does it matter? Also, it's five in the morning in case you didn't notice."

"Just tell me who it is."

The tears were falling now and I felt like I was choking on guilt. I didn't know why I felt so guilty. We were broken up. He did this, not me.

"It's not one of your friends or anything-" I began, trying to keep my voice even.

"Yeah, I believed it when you said that," he snapped. "I just need to know who it is."

"Why?"

"I DON'T KNOW HERMIONE! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST TELL ME?"

"IF YOU CAN GIVE ME ONE GOOD REASON WHY I SHOULD THEN I WILL!" I shouted back while the tears streamed down my face.

"Why can't you just do this one thing for me?!"

"BECAUSE I DON'T OWE YOU A GODDAMN THING!" I screamed before ending the call and throwing my phone at the wall across from the bed.

My breaths were shallow, and I could feel a panic attack beginning to overwhelm me. I faintly heard the phone repeatedly ringing from the corner of the room as Blaise continued to try calling me back. My vision was blurring, and I didn't know if it was because of the tears, my anger, or my splitting headache.

After a few minutes, I finally got up from the bed and walked over to the now cracked, but still functioning, phone. Declining the call, I quickly blocked him before he could call me again and deleted his number.

Sobs were wracking my body and I couldn't figure out why any of this was happening.

HE broke up with ME. Why did he call to fucking interrogate me over my date?

The scariest thing was that part of me hoped it was because he still loved me.

A few days later, I met with Cedric. I could already tell my heart wasn't in it. Neither was any other part of me.

"Hermione?"

"Hm?"

"I said you look cute today," Cedric smiled at me.

I looked down at the plain, white t-shirt and shorts that I was wearing, feeling a twinge of annoyance at being referred to as cute.

"Oh, thanks," I offered him a weak smile before turning back to the previews playing in the movie theater we were currently at.

He was wearing a pair of black jeans and a red t-shirt that advertised some kind of car company. It looked like neither of us really dressed for the occasion.

What if you see Blaise? There's no reason I would see him here right now. But what if you do?

I felt my nails biting into the palms of my hands as I curled them into tight fists in an attempt to get myself under control.

Get it together Hermione, I told myself. Cedric's a nice guy and there's no reason that what happened with Blaise should ruin this.

The lights dimmed and I settled into my chair, planning to try and get through this movie with some of my sanity intact. Cedric obviously had other plans though. It didn't take him long to lean in close and gently kiss me.

I felt absolutely nothing but continued to let him kiss me anyway.

Maybe if I just keep kissing him, then I'll stop thinking about Blaise.

His hand slid up my leg, and when I didn't protest, his other hand quickly found its way under my shirt and aggressively palmed my breast over my bra. The one on my leg then took that opportunity to grab my hand and place it on the bulge in his pants before he forcefully shoved his hand under the leg of my shorts.

I immediately froze, not knowing what to do. I was used to being the one who determined whether or not things went this far. I'd only been with Blaise and another random guy from NYU in the past. Both of them had let me decide what we did and when, but suddenly I felt like I didn't have any control. I'd never felt so weak.

I don't want this. You need to do this because you need to get over Blaise. BUT I DON'T WANT THIS.

Thankfully, Cedric loosened his grip on the various parts of my body and pecked my lips. Then he moved away from me and winked.

"The movie's about to start and there's a lot of people here. Maybe we can continue this later?"

"Okay," I managed, trying to hide my uneven breathing.

Cedric mistook my heavy breathing as arousal and grinned.

My mouth suddenly felt too dry and my head was pounding. Cedric took my hand in his and rubbed it with his thumb gently. Slowly I felt my heart rate slow down until it felt like I could take breaths without gasping anymore.

I'll just let him know I'd rather go a little slower next time, I thought to myself. There's no way Cedric would ever purposefully hurt me. This is the kind of guy Hannah says I should go for. Not people like Blaise.

I took a deep breath and returned Cedric's smile.

Nothing's going to go wrong.

After the movie, which I don't think either of us paid much attention to for completely different reasons, both of us got into the car. Cedric turned it on and drove towards my house, but before we got to my neighborhood, he turned into an empty parking lot.

"Do you want to get into the backseat?" he grinned.

I hesitated, remembering what happened in the theater.

Not really. Stop being such a fucking prude. Think of what people will say if you tell him no. And what if you hurt his feelings? I guess we can just make out for a little bit. Nothing bad will happen from that.

"Okay," I finally muttered, not sure of what else to say.

It won't be like at the movie theater. I'm a strong woman and I'll just fucking tell him to stop if I want him to.

We moved into the back seat and Cedric immediately started kissing me again. Positioning himself over me in the back seat so that I was underneath him, his hand slid underneath my shirt again.

This is okay. I don't want it to go any farther and I could think of other things I could be doing, but I guess this is okay.

Then his hands moved to unbutton my shorts.

"Um, I don't-" I tried.

I couldn't really say I knew what the fuck I was doing anymore, but I definitely knew I didn't want him to take off my shorts.

"Understandable," he said, holding up his hands as if he was surrendering.

Then he immediately went back to kissing me and massaging my breast. I winced at the feeling of his weight on me. He was heavier than I thought, and it felt like he was crushing me.

After a couple of minutes, Cedric lifted himself off of me a little and I took a deep gulp of air, briefly enjoying the sensation of being able to breathe again. My eyes widened though when Cedric moved towards my shorts again.

"I-"

Before I could finish, Cedric impatiently interrupted me.

"We're not gonna fuck."

The next thing I knew my shorts were off and he lifted me onto his lap.

"You're so cute," he murmured between gasps against my neck as he moved my hips against his.

I didn't know what was wrong with me. I didn't feel like I could just say no anymore. I mutely let him kiss me and halfheartedly tried to respond to his rough touch.

Is this what it's supposed to be like? Don't people usually ask before going this far?

I felt like I wasn't really paying attention at that point. I didn't want to be there. I didn't want to be sitting in Cedric's lap in my underwear in the middle of an abandoned parking lot, listening to his hot, wet breathing against my ear as he basically tried to fuck me through my underwear.

I don't know when I gave up, but sitting there in his car, I felt like the last of my willpower was gone and I just let him do whatever he wanted to me. I kept glancing at the time, wondering when I could leave, when suddenly it felt like my sense along with my voice returned.

If I don't want to be here, I don't have to be. Do I?

"Could you take me home?" I whispered, feeling unsure of myself.

I felt Cedric freeze underneath me. Truth be told, I was surprised he'd even heard my voice over the sound of his own gasps and moans.

"Oh," Cedric sounded shocked as if he wasn't used to girls stopping him. "I mean, yeah. Sure, I'll take you home."

A familiar feeling surrounded me at that moment. It was the same one that I experienced when Hannah asked me when I had sex with Blaise. The same one I felt when it seemed like all of my friends were talking about how far I'd gone with Blaise after Lavender started her rumors.

As I got older, I was growing used to feeling this way when I least expected it. It was the feeling that I was a freak.

I silently got dressed and moved to the front seat. He followed me and turned on the car. Neither of us talked on the way home and right before he dropped me off, Cedric finally decided to speak.

"Hey, did I do something wrong?" he asked, nervously.

"No," I lied, giving him a small smile. "It's just me. I'm going through some stuff and I guess I just wasn't as ready as I thought I was."

I felt guilty for stopping him like that. I knew there wasn't anything malicious about what Cedric did. He was just a horny teenage boy, but I still felt weak and scared for some reason.

"Oh, ok," he said awkwardly. "I guess I'll see you around?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

Once I got into my house, I ran up the stairs avoiding my parents and fell onto my sister's bed. I didn't know when I started crying, but once I did I couldn't stop.

I wanted Blaise. I wanted him to hold me and tell me everything was okay and that I was safe. I wanted him to make me forget how it felt when Cedric touched me. I wanted to forget his breaths in my ear and his hands on my skin. I wanted to stop feeling so scared and alone.

I continued to shake with sobs until I finally fell asleep.

Draco closed the book and grabbed his jacket from his desk. He needed to go to her. He didn't know what to say or why he had to be with her right then, but after reading all of that, Draco knew he needed to see her. Or he needed to punch Cedric in the face. Luckily for Diggory, she mattered a lot more and was much easier to get to.

"THEO!" Draco shouted as he exited his room.

The boy dozing on the couch woke up with a start.

"WHAT?"

"We need to go," Draco informed him. "Grab your jacket."

"Can't you see I'm sleeping?"

"Unfortunate."

The taller blonde grabbed his friend's jacket and car keys, throwing them both onto Theo's lap and leaving no room for him to argue.

"We have somewhere to be."

Hope you liked the chapter! The next one will be out pretty soon (hopefully within the next couple of days). Remember to review and favorite/follow to let me know what you think!