Surprise... another update. This is the chapter I've been waiting to share with you. Definitely listen to The Look of Love (by Sergio Mendes and Brasil '66, the song that inspired the title) and Distance (by Emily King) before, during, or after you read this chapter. It will make sense. There a few quotes that came directly from two Scandal episodes (you'll probably catch them). Also, I know you'll visualize a few parts very well. :) Thanks to all who have left comments or messages on Tumblr or Twitter. I appreciate your kind words and support. Stop on by (lovesbiggerthanpride), would love to hear from you and get to know you better. Have a great Sunday. xo
Who knew that two weeks would take forever?
Fitz was craving her. Not in an animalistic, carnal fashion, to satisfy his urges. But the intense desire one feels when his soul yearns for completion. He was empty and he knew why.
The minutes extended to hours and days. They were too far away and it was too long to be away from each other. He longed for her. The first three days, he did whatever he could to stay busy. He was content with the random calls and text messages. But when the week passed, he was getting restless. He wasn't sleeping much and he just wasn't himself.
He contemplated on other milestones that were worth the wait. Turning 18, moving out, the birth of his son. Teddy finally being potty trained.
Waiting for his Olivia was now part of this exclusive list. Like a lovesick puppy, he waited. Even while he was out and about in the city, his imagination ran from him, and he would watch for her.
It's not that he wasn't accustomed to distance. His ex-wife went on business trips. Hell, he had been away for weeks at a time, but there was never a longing like this before. It was on another level.
The distance was tugging at him.
All he wanted to do was hold her hand or just look - look at her. See those exquisite pair of chocolate brown eyes, watch those lips curl into a smile that was only for him. It would brighten his world.
But he had to make due with video chats. Sweet texts and funny one-liners. Even a rendezvous when he convinced her that staying up late at 1am - his time - was worth the hassle.
"You're quite frisky tonight."
Fitz moved his iPad back to his face, after giving Olivia quite a show. "I am. It's hard when I'm used to seeing you all the time and now I'm struggling."
"Hard, Fitzgerald? Really?"
"Oh, you know what I mean. What other word would you like me to use, Miss Pope?"
Olivia poked her chest out, giving Fitz a delightful shimmy, which created a stir of laughter. "Difficult?"
"Hmm."
"I'm teasing you."
Fitz nearly salivated at seeing his Liv with the most amazing cleavage, smartly placed so his eyes wouldn't leave the screen. Every time he saw her, he was falling more in love. Long gone were the days of being extra reserved. Olivia would do things that surprised him. They could tease each other, do little things that meant so much. It was great.
"You most certainly are."
Olivia winked, leaning back from her laptop.
"Be right back."
Fitz nodded as she disappeared from view. It gave him time to get redressed, clean up, and return to his bed.
"There ya are."
Olivia waved her hand around with flair, pretending to give a bow. "Yes."
"How was your day?"
"Fine. Busy. Normal. The new case we got, is a hoot. The actor is making a comeback. You know, the usual, working to make sure he looks better than before."
"Cool."
"I miss you."
Fitz created a small "O" with his mouth. "Is that so?"
"I do," she replied. "I don't think LA is for me."
"Did you think it would be?"
Olivia twisted her lips. "I thought I could be okay having more clients here. Having the opportunity to go from coast to coast. Expanding the business. But I stand corrected. I'm good with being in DC for now."
"Oh ok."
Fitz let the idea of her leaving on a regular basis go in and out of his brain. At least she was admitting it was something that she thought about, but would put it on the back burner. It could still give them a chance.
"Mmhmm."
"I love you."
Olivia quickly smiled, but looked down to her phone. "I - I love you too."
"May I ask you something?"
"Okay."
"Did you hear that a lot wh-"
The abrupt response jolted him.
"No. I did not."
And that was that. Since they first telling each other the three most important words in his mind, Fitz always returned to this concept. Of why Olivia seemed to be allergic to love. Not that his family life was perfect, but Liv's background was different and she responded as such. Aloof and usually irritated that it would get mentioned. He wanted to know - anything and everything - but he wanted to give her the leeway. He couldn't force her.
"Hey."
Her voice was soft again, so he knew the uncomfortable moment was over.
"Yeah?"
"What do you miss about me?"
The question piqued his interest. "Do you have time?
Olivia laughed, throwing her head back. He loved hearing and watching her laugh. A burst of joy, so hearty, it filled the room. When she laughed, he'd laugh. She was contagious.
"Well, Olivia Carolyn. For starters, I miss hearing your voice in my ear or when we're right next to each other. That's amazing. And your incredible smile. I miss you standing next to me."
"What?"
"Yes. I love how tall you are. With me."
"You… Fuck you."
Fitz's nose scrunched with amusement, seeing her eyes roll. To his height, she was very petite. Almost a foot shorter. With heels, the gap was smaller. "Honestly. I love your height. Truly. Perfect. How strong you are. The funny way you giggle when I make a complete fool of myself."
Taking a breath, he looked for her eyes. Full of wonder and still connecting with him.
"Those movies we watch. When you cuddle with me. Having that time alone to reconnect after a long day. I miss patting your booty when we lie down."
Olivia snorted. "You goof. It's like you can't keep your hands off of me."
"I don't."
"I miss having you here. I get fucking lonely, Liv. I'm selfish. I'd rather not share you, Livvie."
His eyes widened as she cleared her throat.
"Ok, then."
"Did I say too much?"
Olivia slightly turned her head, giving a smirk. "I didn't know you missed me that much."
Fitz brought his iPad closer. "Liv, I continue to fall for you every day. My every feeling is controlled by the look on your face. It's become so ridiculous how much I admire changed me."
And just like that, when his proclamation finished, it was like the wind was taken right out of her. He was able to tell; she couldn't breathe properly. Watching for her eyes. Finding the details in her. Her lips parting into a gasp. To know how he could prompt the way she spoke and reacted. It was mind-blowing.
"Honey?"
"Yes, Liv."
Her voice wavered. "I have to go now."
Fitz dropped his voice to a whisper. "Livvie. What did I do? Tell me."
All she could do was force a smile. Her eyes looked so sad. Something about this look. It was alarming and he knew he fucked up. Somehow.
"I'll text you when I head out in the morning."
"Okay, baby. Have a good night."
"You too. I love you."
As he placed his iPad on his nightstand, Fitz wondered. How could he demonstrate his love for Olivia when she was used to stepping back and shutting down? They were making strides and whenever he'd take a long step, she'd sputter and turn around. He needed to get to a place where it wouldn't be such a problem.
She needed time.
"Hello?"
"Hi."
Fitz checked the ID. "Livvie, what are you doing up so early? It's fucking four AM over there."
"I couldn't sleep."
"Liv…"
"I know," she stammered. "For some reason, I'm not able to fall asleep."
Fitz breathed deeply through his nostrils, trying to subside his apparent frustration.
"Hey. Don't."
"I'm trying," he snapped. "I get worried."
"I know. But I don't want you to. Now, this is why I'm calling. Can you do me a favor? I forgot to send Abby two large folders over to the office before I left. Would you have time to go to my apartment and pick them up?"
Fitz deadpanned. Why on Earth would she be doing this to him? Scaring him and then casually giving a request.
"I would but I don't have…"
"Check your key wall. The one at the bottom."
Fitz power walked to the spot where Olivia described. A silver key with a Princeton Tigers chain was dangling from the hook.
"What? When did that happened?"
"Four weeks ago. I thought you'd need it sometime."
"Okay," he answered in complete shock.
Progress. That was a good thing.
"Abby has back-to-back meetings so I don't know who else to ask. No one else has my key. Well, Huck does, but he only comes over for emergencies."
Fitz took the key and put it in his pocket. "It's fine, baby. I have no problem getting them."
"You're a doll. When you get there, it will be in my room. Nightstand or that spot by the window. I'm so silly for missing this."
"No problem."
"Text me when you find it."
Fitz cradled the phone between his shoulder and ear as he grabbed items from the refrigerator for lunches. "I don't know how I feel about you being up so early."
"I'm fine."
"When you get back, I hope you'll take some time off so you can rest."
Olivia sighed. "I know."
"Promise?"
"Promise. What do you have planned for today?"
Fitz was stuffing turkey, cheese, and avocado into Teddy's lunchbox. With five Oreos - rather four with one split in half - since he loved those sandwich cookies and it was cool to remind him of his age. "Meeting three clients. Prepping for a trial in a week, which reminds me I need to call Gracie and Rachel. Maybe I should sign Teddy up for another class or activity on Fridays. I hate not having the flexibility to be home when he gets back."
"You're doing your best."
"I suppose. Thanks for reminding me. I don't want him to grow up to be a latchkey kid. We both know how that can affect a person."
"Yes, it's tough. You'll figure it out. If you need an extra pair of hands, I can help."
"No, Livvie. I can't let you do that," he stated.
"Fitz."
"We'll talk about it when you come home."
"Won't be long now, right?"
"Right."
They said their goodbyes. Again. Which was breaking his heart, and he knew it was having the same affect on her as well.
Fitz got to work at a decent hour. Bumping two meetings earlier and switch the other for the following Monday, he left the office around 2. The timing was just right so he run this errand, get to Olivia's office, and return to Chevy Chase so he could pick up Teddy from school.
As he locked his office door, he greeted Lauren, his secretary.
"Hey, cancel everything after 3. I emailed you the files you wanted. If you could send that over to Cyrus and Liz, that would be fantastic. I'll be back in the morning."
Lauren sweetly grinned. "Absolutely, Mr. Grant."
"Thank you so much."
Riding to her apartment was a bittersweet. Fitz had never gone to her place without accompanying her. When he unlocked the door, memories hit him in the face. It smelled like her. Even being away for weeks, this apartment hadn't lost its sweet aroma.
This space was so Olivia.
Fitz was able to notice the albums she kept near the piano. Classics that were probably handed down from her parents. The soothing aesthetic that she kept throughout the various rooms. He had a good feeling that the colors and the arrangement were calculated meticulously. That was his Liv.
He finally reached to the end of the short hallway. Her door was closed. A slight jiggle allowed him access to her room. From there, he went directly to where Olivia instructed. Two hefty folders on the nightstand.
He texted her.
Got it.
"Good."
"Shit!"
Fitz nearly jumped out of his skin, dropping the folders. As he turned, Olivia was leaning against the bathroom door, holding her cell phone.
"Hi."
"What the fu- Olivia?!"
"Hi, Fitz."
The biggest smile was on her face, with mischievous eyes.
"What? How?"
"Hi."
Fitz ran his fingers through his hair, still dumbfounded. "What are you doing here?"
"Does it matter?"
Olivia walked to him, squeezing his arms. His throat was tight, barely able to form words.
"Nope," a huge smile formed.
He finally came to his senses and realized she would fade away if he didn't touch her enough. His hands roamed. Feeling her skin. Kissing her full lips again. Not letting go. Pulling her into his arms. Her giggles and laughs vibrated into his throat.
"Liv."
"Hi."
"I can't believe you're here."
More kisses. Their fingers brushing against each other. Then, she pulled away.
"Wait."
Olivia lifted her finger. Fitz rolled his eyes. How could she tempt him so?
It was painful to be separated from her. Fitz was in such a trance, he didn't pay attention to her outfit. Olivia was only in a robe. His eyes followed her to her bed, as she slowly untied the robe, pushing the fabric away, revealing herself in a way that almost brought him to his knees. Then, she moved onto the bed, tucking herself in.
"Come here."
Fitz bit his lip, hoping this wasn't a dirty trick.
"Is this why you asked me to come over?"
Olivia shrugged. "You said that you missed me and I sure as hell miss you, my love. I would encourage you to join me, in my bed. After you take off your clothes, and get your tail over here. Right. Now."
"I don't understand, Liv. You- you called me."
"Fitz!"
Her stern command was all he needed. She wasn't going to have to ask him twice. Their eyes met and all bets were off. Fitz worked on taking off sweater, t-shirt, and jeans. Too many damn layers. He slinked his way over to her. His erection had grown; it slapped against his stomach when he pulled off his boxers. Olivia let out a groan.
"This looks a lot better in person than on FaceTime."
Snorting, Fitz licked his lips, already feeling the heat rising in him. But his breath hitched when Olivia took a hold of him. "So good," she pressed a kiss on his head. Fitz grunted as his stomach contracted.
"Don't do too much...I'll come too fast.."
"That's not my problem."
The mischief in her tone and the sparkle in her eyes riled Fitz up.
She was here.
"I know," she whispered.
Fitz went straight for her mouth, cupping his hands on her face. Their kisses were deep and furious, making up for lost time.
"I thought I was going to lose it," he groaned, showering more kisses on Olivia. Her face, her neck, her arms.
"I did."
Fitz took a breath and held on to her hips, and rolled her over so that she was top on him. She squealed.
"You like that," he asked in a low, throaty growl.
"Mmhmm, yes," she hissed, pulling him down for another kiss.
"Good."
After a few minutes of exploring, teasing each other and almost falling over the edge, unforgettable laughs, and sweet nothings, they were ready.
"Lord."
Fitz nearly collapsed just by entering her. Hearing her sigh while he pressed further, was the most beautiful sound in his ears.
How could anyone feel this good?
Olivia whispered, "You're here."
Fitz gave a nod as they moved together.
Finding their beautiful rhythm. Stealing the other's breath. Back arching movements. No need to remind of a favorite spot or a particular sequence. It all came back.
Weeks apart didn't ruin their first time in a long time.
Olivia wanted faster. He gave her more. When Fitz asked silently for deeper, she opened for him.
It didn't take long. Everything was fast, but not rushed. When the pressure became too much, they knew. Cradled in each other's arms, reaching their highs, and blissfully coming down.
Fitz brushed Olivia's hair out of her face, so he could see her eyes. He was grateful. So happy that they didn't have to wait anymore. He brought her down so they could recover.
His heart was finally bursting. Overcome with emotion, knowing how incredible this was. Being able to connect with this beautiful woman. She was everything to him.
"Wow."
He glanced over to see her again. The afternoon sunrays made her look more radiant. Olivia smiled at him, then brushing her hand on his chest, rolling over to kiss him.
"Mmm."
Fitz gently squeezed her ass, just appreciative of having her right on him. A thought made him frown.
"Crap, I have to call Rachel."
"No, you don't."
"Liv."
"Don't worry, I called Lauren, who gave me Rachel's number. I talked to her right after I called you. Teddy's good until 7."
"You brilliant goddess."
Olivia giggled. "I plan well."
"You tricked me. I bet you were already here when you called me."
Fitz playfully turned away while Olivia tried her best to bring him back. He was tired of messing with her and he couldn't resist that face.
"I cut the trip short. We were on a roll - the clients were happy, and I realized that I missed you. After talking with you the other day, I know…I need you. You're making me better. I love you."
There wasn't much else to say. Fitz brushed his finger across her nose, leaning over to kiss her again.
Olivia sighed. "I'm taking the day off tomorrow, so if it's alright with you, I would love to see Teddy after school."
"Of course," he said. "I'll be there. I'm game for you to come."
"Speaking of... I want to go again," Olivia requested, patting his chest.
Fitz's jaw dropped, before he chuckled loudly, very surprised. "Really?"
"Yeah, it's a been a while."
"I remember."
"Of course you did. That's why I could several wonderful reminders of your situation on FaceTime."
"I'm hungry through. Let's munch on something and then we can fuck for another hour. Is that okay?"
Winking at her, Fitz knew she was aware of what he would say. Olivia kissed him, then sauntered to the bathroom. Rubbing his eyes, checking the time, all he could was sigh. What did he do to warrant such favor from the Universe?
His heart beat faster when she walked into the room. If only she recognized the beauty he saw in her. Her strength. The hope she brought to others. Her slight curves. How long and tones her legs were. The mole that was pressed on her skin. Cheekbones carved by angels. He watched her eyelashes flutter so delicately.
Olivia lazily pulled her hair into a ponytail. She stopped as their eyes met.
"What?"
Fitz shook his head, still admiring her in the little things. "Nothing."
"It's something."
"You're right," he admitted, opening his arms to her, inviting her to come back. "It's everything."
She shuffled over to the bed, probably very content being in her safe haven again.
He brought her close. Still in awe that his Livvie was in his arms. "I love you, little lady."
"Stop it."
"I mean it," he sang, making her smile. The vibrations tickling her skin.
"Livvie."
"Hmm?"
Fitz kissed her shoulder, giving him enough time to process what he wanted to tell her.
"I didn't even think I wanted anything...not until I met you."