Happy Wednesday, everyone. Sorry it took so long, but I hope you enjoy this chapter. Let me know what you think. I know there were some questions from the previous chapter, but as always, there's a reason, and I hope the chapter explains more into what Liv and Fitz were thinking. A special shoutout to Naddie and Alex for texting me back, asking if I was "finished". xo

Their first fight was a mess. Sure, they "made up", but Olivia knew she didn't go about it correctly. Every time she mentally checked off milestones in her relationship with Fitz, something would pull her back, dragging her to where she was when they first met. Old habits rising, threatening every aspect of this new dynamic. Leftover baggage she had carried since childhood, but never wanting to reveal to him.

Whenever she wanted to articulate her feelings, her parents would shut her down. Either by ignoring her or giving lectures about how she needed to suck it up. Over and over again. So, she had to find another tool to be seen and heard.

Overpowering the opponent with slick phrases, pages of facts, and intelligent ending statements. As she rose up the ranks, going to law school, she learned the art of arguing and winning. It was in her blood to negotiate and intimidate. It worked in her professional life, so she would deceive herself into thinking that it'd transfer over after hours.

It didn't matter who she was with, if she was on the defense and felt like she was going to lose or didn't want to express herself, she'd shut the guy up and give him what he wanted. It translated into getting what she was deserved, to satisfy her carnal needs, and call it an evening. They would deal with the aftermath later.

But later usually didn't come for Olivia until relationships were strained and ultimately ended.

With Fitz, it was different since they both were lawyers. They knew how to strum up lengthy monologues with key phrases that could dig deep, hitting a person to the core. But during their fight the night before, she only heard emotional banter. It didn't make sense and she wasn't expressing herself well at all. To cover up her insecurities and shortcomings, she used the physical to drown out the hurtful words, letting her body try to heal them, if only temporarily. It continued the pattern since the summer - every time she'd hit a rough patch, shutting down or luring him to bed, or the couch, or a hidden place with enough room to fuck the emotions away.

She was the fool. Every time, it was the same result. Broken, with her efforts futile, and the scenario unresolved.

The inner monologue was running through Olivia's mind and she couldn't stay asleep. Never one to get a full eight hours, no matter where she rested her head, but she was failing royally. How was she going to move on? Hell, how would she settle down, let alone marry anyone if she couldn't break free of the shit that weighed her down?

Olivia could feel herself awaken, but she waited to move. Slowly becoming aware that she was still in Fitz's bed, very naked.

It most likely wasn't the smartest thing to do - to cut a fight, discussion, or whatever that was, and have sex, but it felt like a good idea at the time. They didn't talk it out. She knew if they continued, it would have led to another fight, opening new wounds. She didn't have the energy to lash out at him, giving him another piece of her mind.

Olivia knew, always being reminded by her closest girlfriends and learning the hard way that sex wasn't the cure all to every argument. But, if done correctly, it could surely bring a couple closer. Resetting. Relying on each other to give and take, stretch, pull. Soft and hard, gritty. Working through the abrasive areas. Loving someone enough to apologize first. Stand down for a moment's hope.

Since the autumnal equinox had come and went, the sunlight was still hidden at 6am. Olivia noticed the strong pair of arms she was accustomed to, were not wrapped around her waist, or a hand softly settled on her stomach, like they usually were whenever they shared the bed. Olivia on lying the far end of the right side. Turning back slightly, she found Fitz was on his side, but still facing her.

Seeing his face brought more guilt. He didn't deserve her bullshit. No one did.

Olivia slipped out of the bed and into an oversize hoodie and yoga pants, picking up her travel bag, she left for the downstairs bedroom. A fast preparation at the coffee machine, she watched it slowly percolate, giving herself a moment to think. Her feet padded the floor, moving from the refrigerator to the counter. Catching a glimpse at fruit, she decided to wash in the case that the boys wanted to eat some for breakfast.

As she crossed to the basement door, a faint voice stopped her.

"Livia?"

In his pajamas, holding on to a small stuffed dinosaur with hair ruffled from deep sleeping, Teddy walked down the steps.

"Good morning." Olivia tenderly kiss his forehead. "Did I wake you?"

"Where are you going?" Teddy pointed to the belongings in her arms.

"Just going to take a shower before I have to go to work."

"It's Saturday."

"I know," she agreed, "but sometimes I have to finish some things that I missed during the week."

"Don't you shower in Daddy's bathroom?"

Olivia nervously grinned. "Mmhmm. Usually."

"Is he awake?"

"No."

Teddy's skepticism was keeping her on her toes. She did not want to be the one to start talking to him about the birds and the bees. Or possibly digging herself into a ditch she couldn't manage to avoid. Like why she was avoiding the upper level and sneaking out.

"Hmm. Okay."

"Why did you wake up?"

"My body told me to."

Olivia loved the way he answered her questions. He was so honest and pure. There was underlying snark, but she didn't care.

"Are you still sleepy? Do you want to lay down on the couch? When I come back, we will cuddle."

"Okay."

Olivia smiled at him, then rushed downstairs to the guest bathroom. Thankfully, wash day was earlier in the week, so forgoing her hair ritual shaved off some time. When she returned — in a sweater and jeans, the most casual of Saturday workwear, Teddy was curled up against the arm, waiting for her.

"Hiya."

Teddy's smile was priceless, widening by the second. How she could not love this boy?

"You smell like a bakery," Teddy marveled, with Olivia finding a seat next to him. "Sweet."

"Thank you. How about you? What do you smell like?"

"Soap, baby powder, and hair gel. But I also smell like a boy," he declared, warranting a snort. "That's what Dad said."

Olivia kissed Teddy's forehead again. "That's quite alright."

"What time do you have to go?"

"Eight. I told Har—"

Teddy asked with wonder, "Uncle Harrison?"

"Yes. We have two clients that need to meet."

Teddy slowly nodded. "I see. You all work so much. Don't you ever get a break?"

A moment passed.

"Sometimes," Teddy lifted her arm then placed it over his shoulder, giving her permission to hold him close. "I want you to always stay here."

"Why?"

"Because I like it. We're less lonely when you're here."

"I love you."

"You love Daddy, right?"

"Yes."

"Good."

"Livia?"

"Mmhmm?"

Teddy scrambled to rest on his knees, so he could look into Olivia's eyes. "I know I've asked you before. But maybe you changed your answer. A couple of my friends asked if you were going to be my new mom. Would you be okay with that?"

Olivia tilted her head, unsure of what to make of his question. Just like his father - very persistent but with charm like his, she couldn't ignore Teddy. With a shy grin, she replied, "Let's talk to Daddy about that when I come back and we shall see."

Not wanting to leave the house without saying goodbye, she went upstairs. To her amusement, Fitz had rolled over to her side of the bed. She didn't want to wake him; he must have been so tired. Her fingers made their way through his thick curls - she couldn't resist touching them - before leaning down to kiss his forehead and cheek. Fitz didn't stir, but she noticed his lip twitch. That was good enough for her.

"I love you, Teddy," she said, grabbing her bags. He walked over to give her one more hug. Their embrace was calming and innocent.

"Love you too."

Slightly relaxed, feeling completely different from 12 hours earlier, she wrote a text to Fitz before she put her car in reverse.

Going to work for a few hours. I'll call you when I'm done.

"He called me Mellie."

"What?"

Olivia shrugged, feeling a certain type of way as Harrison sat still, waiting for more details. As soon as their day began at the office, he knew something was off by her sluggish responses and distant looks. When she mentioned her spat, he was all ears.

"Damn, that's a lot. That's not like him to do that. Have you met her yet?"

"No," she responded, "And I don't think I care too at this point."

"Why not?"

"From the reaction I get out of Fitz, it seems like she's the worst person ever. He winces and never wants to discuss, even when I gingerly bring her name . And Teddy is close to tears every time her name is mentioned…Fuck!"

Olivia slammed her hands against the table. It wasn't until that moment, retelling what happened to her best friend that she realized how painful it was - being connected to someone that Fitz harbored copious amounts of anger and resentment. That was the last thing she wanted.

"I"m sorry that this happened to you."

"He's trying to put me in this box that I don't want to step in. I won't tolerate it anymore. I'm not like her. Hell, I do not want to be like her."

"Liv."

"Yes?"

"What are you going to do?"

"I don't know."

Harrison asked, "Did you talk last night or before you came here? Truly have a discussion when you got back from Abby's?"

The blush was evident as she didn't care to answer. "No."

By her guilty face, Harrison knew what that meant. As he shook his head, he smirked at Olivia. "Okay. Would you be able to talk without rushing off and getting distracted? And you know I would say the exact damn thing to him."

"Yeah, yeah," she admitted. "I know. That's my plan, but you of all people know that's not how I usually do. I can't do an overhaul of my personality."

"But you two could try to talk."

"Harrison," she sat down. "This is some shit. I don't know what to say without lecturing him like one of our wayward clients."

"If you want this to work, you need to step up."

Olivia rolled her eyes; he always knew when to let her know what time it was. Being the voice of reason, understanding how her brain worked, but still giving her the truth in a manner that resonated.

"Yes. I do. I need to work on me. But usually I break up with the guy when I reach that point. I don't want to break up with him. I can't. I love him so much, I can't think straight. I can't even breathe or do anything logical sometimes. That feeling when you don't know if you can function because he's not there? It fucking hurts."

Being able to just release those words into the universe. It was good.

Olivia took a deep breath, calming herself down. It wasn't easy for her to be vulnerable and share what she was truly thinking and feeling. But it was right. Harrison was the right person to share with, putting down her guard.

"I can tell," he answered. "You love Fitz. I've never seen you love someone so much the way you do with him. But you can't let this hiccup ruin everything. You have to make changes so you can move forward."

Harrison was right once again. Olivia decided to text Fitz and touch base.

Hey.

Hi.

How are you?

Doing alright. How about you?

I'm okay, almost done with work. I'll be back at the house soon.

"Tell him I'll hang out with Teddy," Harrison shouted from down the hall. Olivia had to laugh, because she knew that he knew she was avoiding the big question.

Hey, can we get coffee and talk this afternoon? Harrison said he could watch Teddy for a bit.

Olivia set her phone down, already nervous with thinking of how Fitz could respond. But when did he ever turn down an opportunity for alone time? The thought of having to be bare and honest was scary. She couldn't stop now. Like peeking for a surprise, her finger tapped on the screen. A new message, which he answered only 20 seconds after her last text. Figured.

Sure, Sweet baby. :)

"Okay, he said yes."

Harrison's chesty replied followed: "I told you. I know my best friend!"

She picked a neutral place in Woodley Park. Given the bustling Saturday foot traffic on Connecticut Avenue, it would be a great opportunity to practice being in public with him. A forty-five minute span between apartment stops, Harrison leaving for Fitz's house, and taking the Metro. There was no parking and she wasn't about to waste time trying to find a spot. It gave her time to think about what she wanted to say and how to apologize to him.

Standing by the door, Olivia watched for him. It had only been five hours, but goodness, her heart was waiting. She couldn't let this emotional distance repeat itself. Sometimes she doubted why he would choose her. The negative qualities were plain to see and he still wanted to be a part of her life. She couldn't let that go, because even with the crap that she was fighting to part with, he still loved her.

The coffeehouse was busy, with the door opening and closing every thirty seconds. Her heart would skip each time, but of course, it was a different person. Looking nothing like Fitz.

Finally, he entered, sporting the leather jacket she had grown to love, a black sweater, and jeans. His hair was slightly gelled, which surprised her, because he usually wore a baseball cap on the weekends. She had to smile because he looked like he was on a date. When their eyes met, it felt like when he kissed her goodnight right outside her door when he asked her to be his girlfriend. There was an excitement. It was rare but she loved it.

"Hey."

"Hi."

Olivia usually waited to be affectionate, but craving his touch - that flew out the window. Opening her arms, she embraced Fitz. He felt so warm. Surprising him with a quick kiss.

"Ooh."

Her nose crinkling with delight, Olivia hummed as soon as Fitz returned her kiss, gently tugging on her bottom lip, before slowly pulling away.

"Whatcha tryin' to do, Miss Pope?"

Olivia sweetly replied, acting innocent, "Nothing. I just…missed you."

"Mmhmm," his response vibrated in his throat, which sounded amazing in her ears. "I missed you too."

Fitz took her hand and led her to the counter. Olivia looked around; everyone was doing their thing, sipping their hot drinks, chatting, just having a good time, and hopefully not rolling their eyes after seeing her and Fitz's romantic greeting. There was nothing to be worried about. She had to make a choice to not get worked up over the possibility of her downtime getting interrupted. She didn't live in a bubble; it was going to happen but she had to rise about the fear and just live her life.

Coming back to real life, Olivia asked, "What would you like to drink?"

Fitz's eyebrows knitted, giving her a stern eye. "Liv."

Stepping in front of him, she stated, "Uh-uh. Tell the nice barista what you would like to order. It was my invitation, my treat."

"Fine," he whispered in her ear, before pecking the side of her neck.

After paying for their drinks, Olivia and Fitz sat down at a table in the middle of the room. Her choice.

Olivia sipped on her chai latte, waiting for the right moment.

"I want to apologize for last night. My behavior was unacceptable and I shouldn't have walked out on you when I should have communicated with you. Why I was irritated."

Fitz was understanding, giving a sweet but somber smile.

"I forgive you."

"But you haven't heard all of it."

He nodded, inching closer, taking her hand again. "True, but I still forgive you. Just know that I am going to, like I did yesterday. And I hope you still forgive me because I was a complete ass. I know you were hurt and I failed to see in that moment."

"Okay. I do forgive you."

Olivia exhaled; whenever she received forgiveness, something would always feel lighter inside.

"But please, continue. You can tell me anything. I'm all ears."

Taking another slow sip, she cleared her throat, and looked at Fitz square in the eye. "I think we should talk about what's been bothering us." The nerves were getting to her; it shouldn't have though. The opposite of work, sharing proposals. This was her personal life. This man that she loved. She couldn't treat her relationship so coldly.

"That's fine with me. Would you like to start?"

"Sure."

A deep breath was needed and so she took it.

"I'm still dealing with problems when I was growing up. My parents didn't let me speak my peace during arguments, so I was used to shutting down, creating diversions, and not owning up to my faults. That's number one. Then, with these parties and social events. Fitz, I am no good with this. It's not that I don't want to talk to people. I'm guarded with my personal life. If they don't need to know, I won't let anyone know what's going on. My ex, Edison - He was a junior senator and he made it his mission to transform me into this socialite and I did not want that to happen. I resisted so much. At the time, my focus was building OPA into a reputable business. Being in the limelight was all that mattered to him. That's the opposite of what my work is about. We are behind the scenes, to the point of anonymity. I do not like the attention. His constant pressuring drew me away. Right before we broke up, we were at a park downtown and a pap came, took so many pictures of us, and then they published my name, with details. He lived for it. I was shocked because he didn't tell me. I've been scarred every since."

When she paused, she couldn't read Fitz's expression. It was blank, he was thinking. Not knowing what he would say was frightening her. It was the first time she mentioned Edison's name. She caught his lips pursing as she retold her story. It already seemed to be too much, but he needed to know.

"You are nothing like him. Nothing. But it's a control thing. I've never been good at letting things just roll. I need to remind myself that it's not all about me. Sometimes I forget that I can still be independent while in a relationship. I'm going to do better. For you and me."

"Right," Fitz replied softly. "I will do better as well. You deserve my best. You are nothing like Mellie. My anger gets the best of me and that emotion just overrides any sense of logic. So, as I was prepping to meet you, I realized I needed to let you know this: I want to respect your wishes, not push you away. If you're not comfortable with something, let me know. if I reach that point, I would like you to remind me, so I can check myself."

She reached into her purse, revealing a manila folder. "I did some research online this morning and there's a course that we could take together, or individually if that suits you better. For couples who may need some assistance in communicating."

Her mouth felt dry; maybe she was talking too much, still leaning towards a dissertation instead of having a conversation. Without asking for his input, she was making assumptions of what they needed. Assuming never got her anywhere.

"Maybe you don't need to do this, but I know I need to-"

"May I see?"

Olivia sharply handed Fitz the information. He took his time, reading the description, figuring out the course's timing. All of the details. She bit her lip, anxious for what he could say. To calm herself down, she set her gaze on the the action by the counter. Once again, distractions from reality were her forte. He could have say no and that would be fine. She still had to make adjustments.

"I like this, Livvie."

His answer shocked her. "Really?"

Fitz's eyes brightened as he confirmed with a smile. "Really. This looks like a great program. We can do it at our place, talk with each other. Have an open and honest conversation. I want to know you better and avoid conflict. We will disagree, that's how it goes. We also have to find common ground and keep going. You let me know when you want to start."

"Great."

Olivia looked down as relief washed over her. So far, this was going well. The crowd ebbed and flowed, but she hadn't paid attention, which was awesome.

"Livvie."

"Yes?"

Fitz lifted his mug, passing along a seductive wink. "To us and a fresh start."

Olivia smiled, tapping hers. "To us."

As she finished her latte, Olivia kept her eyes on Fitz. It was a lot to release, but she knew it was time to come clean. Fitz smiled at her and she knew it wouldn't be as bad as she thought.

"I love you."

"Love you too," she replied, extending her hand for his. Their fingers linked and she nudged his shin with her boot, keeping things playful. It was all they needed.

"Thank you for letting me share with you."

"Of course. Thank you for being honest with me."

Olivia interjected, "I think we should come up with a safe word."

She watched Fitz's eyes widen and seeing him cough, nearly choking. "What?"

Realizing why he was asking in total confusion, Olivia covered her mouth, slightly embarrassed. "Oh my word, no! Not like that! But if you want to do work on that, that's cool too. I meant... when we have a fight, we could think of a step we could take, before we cross that awful line with name calling and storming out."

"I agree," he said. "That's a great idea, baby."

"So let's think about that. Any thoughts?"

Fitz poked out his lips as he contemplated. "From now on, we should probably resolve everything before we fuck."

"Yeah," she answered with a sheepish grin. "That wasn't smart."

"I know, but it felt amazing."

Olivia gave him a demanding glare, wanting to reach over and slap his arm, but that would make it more obvious of their private conversation. "Fitzy!'

"Sorry, Liv. I have to be honest with ya. It's hot when we're pissed off."

That fact, she couldn't deny. They always went full out in the bedroom, combining their love, passion, and unique chemistry. It always left them spent and yet wanting more.

Leaning in to whisper, Olivia answered, "Yes. That is true."

Not even three seconds later, they both laughed.

With a sigh, Olivia said, "When I kissed you goodbye this morning, you were sleeping on my side."

"Mmhmm," Fitz admitted, crossing his arms. "Is that okay?"

Olivia wiped her lipstick off of the mug. "It's your bed," she replied with a shrug.

"A-ha, jealous much?"

"No," she pointed out, challenging him. "It was cute. You looked adorable. You probably wanted to stay warm."

Fitz gave his classic Cheshire cat grin. "Thank ya much. I do my best. I miss you when you're gone. You know that."

"I do and the feeling is mutual."

Both phones vibrated, finally breaking the hour and a half of productive conversation.

"Harrison," they surmised. The guess was correct; Olivia and Fitz were grateful to have a friend who who was willing to let them get away, hash things out, and still be fine on the other side. Their group message included the sweetest picture of Teddy, playing in the huge autumn leaves in the backyard. Harrison captured Teddy's personality wonderfully in the photo.

"I might have to print this out and put it on my desk," Olivia squealed. "Gosh, you made a cute child."

Fitz chuckled. "I'm glad you approve of my genes."

"Ready to go? I'll let Harrison know we're on our way."

Olivia stood, waiting for Fitz to follow. As they walked towards the car, he draped his arm around her shoulder, and kissed her cheek. Giggles followed.

"Guess what?"

"What?"

"You didn't look nervous when we were inside," Fitz announced, "Yes, I noticed and I'm proud of you, lady."

Olivia leaned into him, tilting her head to meet his loving gaze. "Thank you. You're the best, my guy."

"I like that," he proclaimed. "I'm your guy."

"That's right, you are."