Chapter 2 – Remembrance

After the crowds finally dispersed, leaving Ciel alone with her thoughts while the others packed the table and the sound equipment, she stared into the gaping abyss, from which faint traces of residual heat still emanated in the wake of the monumental energy blast. She had no idea how deep the beam had hit, but she could not see the bottom. She could, however, see the melted metal remains from the city's fortifications, which had solidified into new, arbitrary shapes as it seeped into the ground. The rest seemed to have been vaporized or collapsed into the crater.

Finally having a spare moment to sort her thoughts, she sighed, recalling the tall buildings and the bustling streets before the city's descent into a totalitarian fever dream. While she hated what Neo Arcadia had become in its final years, which had prompted her to eventually leave and oppose its rulers, this was definitely not how she had thought it would end.

She knew how events had reached this point, and who was directly responsible. Copy X for twisting her vision, Weil for taking advantage of the situation for the sake of his own ego and lust for power. Then there was Craft, the strange Reploid who had actually pulled the trigger. Ciel knew very well that the regime the former two had created had been responsible for countless crimes against Reploids and eventually humans as well, but she could not fathom what could have driven him to such a disproportionate act of retribution.

With events still fresh in her memory, she could not help hating the three for their crimes. Though gentle by nature, there was a hint of steel in her gaze as she glared into the distance.

"You stole our future..." she hissed accusingly. "I'll just have to create a new one with my own hands."

Still, alone with her thoughts and with the abyss in front of her, she knew there was someone else she was mad at.

"I really messed up..." she silently lamented. "If I hadn't created that abomination, none of this would have happened. How many people have sacrificed themselves to help me correct my mistake? How many innocents have suffered? But… even if it takes me a hundred years, I will make things right."

So caught up was she in her thoughts that she did not notice the red clad figure edging towards her with a frown. Watching her state, Zero sighed.

"I'm no good with this stuff." he thought. "But I just can't stay quiet."

He cleared his throat rather loudly, startling her out of her inner monologue.

"There you are." he said flatly. "I know that look. You're beating yourself up again, aren't you?"

"H-How did you…?" she stuttered, not bothering to deny it.

"I may not have all the answers… and my memory may still have more gaps than Elpizo's head, but I've been around you long enough to recognize that mood."

The mention of the former commander made her wince. In her mind, that was another failure.

"I'm the one who appointed him after all." she thought bitterly. "I should have seen the warning signs. I should have known he wasn't ready."

"Tell me then." she retorted, her eyes turning moist. "Am I wrong?"

"Damned right you are." Zero said rather bluntly. "I don't know what exactly happened between you and that fake before you woke me up, but what he became and what he did were his choice. Elpizo wasn't ready for the responsibility but instead of asking for help he just went crazy and became as dangerous as the copy. Weil was always a monster. As for Craft… while my memory is what it is, there were Reploids like him back in my day too. He could have found another way but had no interest in that. Yes, you may have made some errors in judgement, but you can't hold yourself responsible for other people's choices."

"I suppose so..." Ciel conceded. "But that doesn't make it any easier."

"Then take that pain and do something constructive with it." Zero said. "Even now, you have people standing by you, looking up to you… counting on you."

Ciel perked up slightly at those words, not simply due to the words themselves but who they were coming from.

"And what about you?" she asked pointedly. "Why do you have so much faith in me?"

"Because I've seen what you can do when you put your mind to it." he said, looking straight at her. "Because you've got a sharp mind and the guts to go with it. You're not a Reploid. You could have stayed in the command room and let others do your work for you. But you didn't. Even after losing your escort, you charged in and didn't stop until you found me. You went into orbit with me knowing the dangers because it was something you just had to do."

"I only did what was needed." she said dismissively. "Besides, I was sick of letting you go in alone. How many missions did you finish all by yourself with no backup of any kind? How many battles did you fight while I sat there watching through a screen? I didn't know what exactly you were capable of when I found you, but it's not like I did that much."

"Wrong again." Zero countered. "Where do I even start? My fighting instincts may have always been there, but you helped me get my amnesiac ass sorted after we got out of that buried lab. You acted in your people's best interests, even if you made some bad choices. You wanted to believe people. You created five of the most complex Reploids of this age and developed a new power source, all by yourself. How many people do you think could do all that at your age, plus organize something this big?"

Zero sighed and hesitantly patted her head.

"Look, I'm not very good at pep talks, but when even the so-called legends give you honest praise, you shouldn't be so quick to dismiss it. I may not know what I'm talking about half the time, but X does and he's never had a single bad word to say about you."

Once again the butterflies in her stomach returned, and she struggled to maintain her composure. Still, she focused on his words and was able to find a measure of tranquility, at least for the time being.

"Well then..." she said after a while, finally showing the hint of a smile. "Thank you for your assessment. Since you're here, maybe you can help me with one last thing before we go back."

And with that, she reached for the backpack that had been absently lying at her feet and opened it, producing a very large floral arrangement that seemed to struggle to fit in.

"What are those for?" Zero asked.

"Just a little token for the lost." she said. "I know I could have placed it right after the speech, but it didn't feel right. This is something I wanted to do more privately."

Once again Zero's respect for the petite scientist grew. She could have easily used that sentimentality for some easy applause from the crowd, but her decision once again reinforced his feeling that his choices had been correct as far as she was concerned.

"Well then..." he said with a slight smile. "How could I refuse?"

Truth be told, there were not many distinctive spots around the edge of the crater, and he would not allow her to wander too close to the edge. After a few minutes walking around in silence, they finally ended up stopping at the spot they had started at.

"One day, when all of this is behind us, I hope to be able to come back and give this graveyard a proper monument." Ciel said rather solemnly as she laid the flowers down. "But for now, this will have to do."

"Ready to start forgiving yourself and get back to leading your people then?" Zero asked, his smile widening.

"One day at a time. At least for now."

And with that, she gave him a surprise hug, catching him off guard.

"W-What was that for?" he asked, unsure how to react.

"For talking some sense into me." she replied before starting the trek back with a slight spring in her step.

"She's far too young to be carrying so many burdens." he thought with a sigh.

Regardless, there was something rather familiar about the situation, though he could not put his finger on it. Silently cursing the gaps in his memory, he picked up the backpack she had forgotten on the ground and followed her to the old helicopter waiting for them.

That night, Zero's sleep was restless. For some time, he had been using a modest single room metal shack in the human settlement as his quarters, resting there between missions or retreating inside when he needed some time alone. The fact that it was right next to the small house Ciel had built up for herself and Alouette also allowed him to act as a guard of sorts, though things had been so quiet since the destruction of Ragnarok he had been struggling to adjust to the new reality.

With a grunt of annoyance, he opened his eyes, startled awake by some sort of nightmare he could not recall.

As he looked around, faint memories danced across the surface of his consciousness. Dormitories, crowds, a base in a time and place long forgotten, bustling with activity as figures both in suits of armor and uniforms scurried about, though he could not recall their faces. Then, just like that, the image faded from his mind's eye.

Knowing it would take some time until he found himself able to sleep again, he lifted the sheets and stepped outside, clad in his black body glove, taking in the night air as he paced around the settlement. Here and there, lights were still on in the windows of some of the houses.

He paused for a moment as he recalled how the Resistance had set up the small village using scavenged material, first clearing the terrain from debris, then using scavenged materials from old structures and vehicles to set up the basic structures. Helping with that had been a novel experience for him, at least in his state, and, much to his surprise, he had discovered in himself a hidden talent for it.

"Maybe I could get used to this..." he thought. "But why do I get the feeling I'm forgetting something important?"

He walked around some more, going past the window of Ciel's room. The polished metal structure had been the easy part to assemble, but the tempered glass had required some more work. Without access to Neo Arcadia's production facilities, the Resistance had been forced to get creative. It would take some time until the survivors were able to produce certain materials in large quantities, but he knew Cerveau already had some ideas on how to tackle that challenge.

It came as no surprise to him at all to spot Ciel asleep at her desk with her head resting on its surface, seemingly having dozed off while going through some papers. As he watched her peaceful expression, a strange sensation churned in his chest and he was unable to pry his gaze away.

"I may be a bit on the damaged side, and not quite right in the head..." he thought. "But you gave even this dusty relic something to believe in."

After a time, he finally moved on, though the restlessness would still take some time to abate. It was not the first time this had happened in the quiet days between battles. Though he was an exceedingly competent fighter, even in his diminished state, he would often struggle to figure out what to do with himself the rest of the time. This had been one of the reasons for his temporary parting of ways after the first battle against Copy X. He had hoped that walking the earth might help him find some answers. This excursion had been cut short by the shift in the war, but he realized that he had, at least for the time being, found the place he belonged in. The memories were still trickling in, frustratingly slowly.

He could not know for certain what X's intentions had been when he'd left him to his own devices after Ragnarok, but he couldn't help feeling somewhat frustrated at his silence.

"Maybe you wanted me to have a fresh start… but I still have too many questions. It was a dick move on your part to run off without asking what I thought."

Elsewhere…

"Are you truly so thoroughly spent that you thought the best thing to do was find a place to crawl off to and fade away?"

"You may have spent some time in incorporeal form, but between the strain of spending centuries keeping the Dark Elf sealed, the drain from projecting myself in the material world time and again and then having my body destroyed..."

"Most of that took place before my time, but did it never occur to you to ask for help? To have a backup?"

"Before Ciel came along, I did not even think anyone might be capable of truly replicating my construction. My father's designs baffled scientists for centuries. They couldn't even fully analyze my systems."

"Personal bias aside, yes, she is exceedingly good at what she does. But why did you not reach out to her sooner?"

"You overestimate my strength. The so-called legend has really been blown out of proportion so I can't blame you for that. The thing is, keeping that terrible power sealed was a near constant drain on my strength. What I could do in that state was limited. By the end of it, I was spent."

"So does that mean that I too will eventually fade away without a body?"

"You did not burn so much of yourself over such an extensive period. Though I must say, destroying your body in such a pointless fashion was..."

"Yes, it was stupid. You do not need to hold back. I reached that conclusion long ago. All four of us were suffering from a case of obsessive stupidity."

"True… What you did back then went completely against everything I believed in. But this is neither the time nor the place to be having this conversation."

"You were an inspiration to the four of us. An ideal to aspire to. We did not simply bring shame upon ourselves with our blind obedience. We... tarnished your legacy as well."

"You're definitely more verbose than usual. I do wish you had done some more actual talking back in the day. It might have saved us all considerable headaches."

"I've had… plenty of time to think. Again, you are correct. I make no excuses."

"Then I hope you've had time to think about what you're going to do once you get back to your siblings."

"Master…?"

"You did not think I would agree with this merely for my own benefit, did you?"

"Why?"

"Because you still have time to find a new purpose. The others have... And I thought I'd told you to stop calling me that."

"I really was a fool. The difference between you and him is like night and day. I wanted to believe so badly..."