It's been a while, I know, but I didn't want to post something if I wasn't ready. It was a legit miracle that I wrote something. Hope you enjoy. It isn't a happy-go-lucky chapter, but our faves are pushing through life's hiccups. So don't worry. :) Stop by on twitter or tumblr if you want to chat about the chapter. xo

On paper, the schedule had always been in his favor. Nothing had changed since the custody and divorce forms were signed. Consistency was what they needed - what Teddy needed. That's what the books told him and the buddies who had gone through of all this. But when the court-ordered dates came around, he always felt crushed. There was guilt, frustration, and anger. Most of all, sadness. When Teddy was away, the guard he put up around heart would fall away and break all over again.

Sometimes he thought it was a punishment for being so self-centered growing up or even during his marriage, when all he wanted was to live a life that looked good in others' eyes. Now, all he wanted was peace and quiet, not being bothered by whatever crap that lingered between the two of them. It didn't shake him when Teddy went to school or was invited to a sleepover; the kids wanted him to be around and there was no baggage involved. But when he had to say goodbye, for a few days, or a week or two, Fitz could never accept the truth that the woman who bore his child could truly changed or be good enough.

Christmas was quiet but wonderful at the house. He enjoyed having Olivia there, spending time with Teddy, starting new traditions. But life moved on and on the 26th, he was back in the office, reviewing cases. Thinking about how the new year would start, which responsibilities he would need to take on as a partner, and finding a balance to make that happen with home life.

As soon as he got situated in his office, the line buzzed. Without thinking, his finger pressed the button.

"Yup?"

"Your ex is on line two."

Fitz cleared his throat, sitting straight in his chair. "Thanks for the heads up, Lauren. I'll actually take this one for once. The holiday spirit is still upon me." Trying to stay upbeat, he scooped the retriever and answered the call.

"Hello?"

"Good morning. Are you busy?"

"I picked up."

"Hmm, very clever, Fitz."

Shaking his head, knowing he shouldn't have started the conversation with his smartass quip. "How was Christmas?"

"Everything went well. Yours?"

"Just lovely." The pitch of her voice was calm, but with the right amount of irritating that Fitz could not stand.

"Alright, enough of the pleasantries. I just want to confirm everything for this week."

When travel plans were in the mix, it was best that Fitz and Mellie talk on the phone, so nothing could be misconstrued. But they sure hated having to do it.

"Mmhmm."

"Okay. Tomorrow morning, around 8, Teddy is getting picked up by Jonathan. You remember my cousin? He and his family lives in Loudoun County. They will fly down to Durham. Then, Teddy will stay at my house all week. On Sunday, they will get him, fly into Dulles."

Fitz pulled away, and did a double take at his calendar. "Wait. I thought you were coming here," he stammered incredulously. "You sent the email about him staying at Jonathan's the whole week. You said you were going to be nearby. I never heard about a plane."

"My schedule changed. I'm telling you now. That's why I called."

Loudly, he sucked his teeth. He wanted to lecture her for being difficult yet again, switching things up at the last minute. He had less than 24 hours to repack and also inform Teddy. It was just like her to pull the wool over his eyes and only do things that were convenient or comfortable. But it was about Teddy, not them.

"National?"

"I said Dulles."

"Really? You couldn't schedule a flight into National? There's toll roads, remember?"

"Shorter time on the plane," she interrupted. "Teddy told me he wasn't too fond of being in the air too long. You will need to pick Teddy at the airport. Jonathan and Belinda live fifteen minutes from Dulles. It's not fair for them to drive all the way back into the city just turn around."

Fitz refrained from sucking his teeth again. That was probably a bold-faced lie. Dodging responsibility, yet again.

"Anything else?"

Pressing his chin against his knuckles that were in a fist, he pondered. Was he being a hardass? Unwilling to allow her to at least try? He wanted so desperately to find an excuse to botch her plans. Fighting was becoming harder to do.

"Okay."

"That's it? No arguing?"

"I said okay, Mellie. Just want to get this all over with."

She scoffed loudly, "Get this over with? He is my son, Fitzgerald. As much as you want, you will not block this. I deserve to see him. I've done my time. You won't stop me."

"Is that so? Last time I checked, you were the one who left. You have abdicated your role as mother. I've been here for my son since you decided that this wasn't the life you were expecting. I know it was hard and we didn't work, but you abandoned him. And now that you've had a change of heart, I'm supposed to be incredibly pleased, and let you take him away without a peep from me? You have lost your mind, Melody Margaret."

"Would you like me to send you your roses? Create a medal for the world's best father and all-knowing Fitzgerald Grant? For fuck's sake, get off your cross."

"You know what I mean and I won't have it any other way. This is your fault. Don't make Teddy or me suffer."

"Why not, Fitz? We're both in different places. I'm ready to be in his life more. I'm ready. I'm doing better.

I have what it takes."

"How? When do we hear from you? Outside of the court-ordered twice-a-week phone calls. Hmm? Did you adopt a puppy? So you can know the true commitment of parenting? Let me know."

"Where is all this animosity coming from? Your girlfriend?"

Fitz almost choked; "Excuse me?"

"You heard me. We haven't had this kind of heated discussion in months. So I suspect that this is because of her. Is she lying to you about a subject that she has no business getting involved?"

"At least she's around for him."

Mellie slowly spat, "Fuck. You."

"Does Andrew get parenting privileges? Is that why you keep him around?"

Her voice deepened to a frightening level, "Watch your tone."

Fury was rising; Fitz had been working on his temper, but he was still struggling when Mellie spoke to him. Standing up, clenching his fist, he questioned, "But you're able to spew whatever you want about who I am dating. Bullshit, Mellie. Bullshit. The double standard you hold is quite atrocious and I won't tolerate it. You don't know Olivia from Adam, so it'd be in your best interest to leave her out of it."

A knock on the door. It was Cyrus. He looked a bit frazzled, but nothing serious.

"Fitz, I tried to page you. We need you in fifteen. Don't be late."

Giving the thumbs up, Fitz turned to face the window.

"When she gets the privilege to see my child more than me, and he sings her praises, and doesn't even want to talk to me? How is that supposed to make me feel?"

"Well, maybe if you had thought ahead and reconsidered how you treat your child, you wouldn't have this situation," he commented in a hury.

Once again, the catty argument had run its course, making Fitz feel like he didn't want to deal with her shenanigans. If Mellie were to pull any stunts where custody was concerned, it was going to take a miracle or a kickass judge to find the best solution for Teddy. Fitz was convinced that being in Washington was the right option. No need to be bothered with her flakiness.

"There you go. Every damn time, Fitzgerald. I'm sorry I ruined your life! But I'm trying to tell you, I am making up for lost time."

Fitz had enough; raising his voice, but just enough to allow it sound like a growl, he commanded, "Save it. I have to get back to work. Is there anything else you need?"

"Just have Teddy ready tomorrow at 8."

The click was abrupt, sounding extremely harsh in his ear, before he slammed the phone down. Muttering several profanities, he knew that he failed with his emotions. He was never going to have a civil conversation with Mellie. It was always a fight. No resolution.

His first reaction was to reach into the small wet bar in the corner, and pour a healthy serving of Scotch. But he wasn't at home, he was at work. Not that he hadn't done it. It happened plenty of times, sneaking a drink between clients and paperwork. Not enough to impair his work but strong enough to dull the pain he was feeling.

Reminding himself of a few breathing exercises he learned in the communications class he was taking with Olivia, Fitz decided on the next option. He took his notepad, cell phone, and walked to the conference room.

"Are you alright?"

"What?"

Cyrus had managed to catch up with him. "Sounded pretty heated back there."

Fitz rolled his eyes, before continuing. "Mellie."

Cyrus winced. "It's her week?"

"How did you know?"

"A lucky guess." The two stared at each other before Cyrus burst into a cackle. "Grant! You genius, I helped organize this schedule! Your ears turn red and you're itching to have some Scotch between meetings. It happens every time. I can tell it in your eyes."

Fitz shook his head. Apparently his body language was not subtle. "Why couldn't have she done her part from the get-go? We wouldn't be in this mess."

"You have preferred to be married to her?"

He almost wanted to vomit. "No! But if we had been level-headed, the transition would be better."

Cyrus waited. "Well, that's not how it worked. As long as Teddy lives under your roof and until he turns 18, you two will never get rid of each other. Just face the facts."

"I don't regret having him. You know that, right?" Acting on the defense now, he wanted to convince whoever would listen.

"You better not. He's a godsend to your pretty boy ass. He brings credibility. Plus you know the magazines goggle that shit up. Handsome lawyer raising his son in the Nation's Capitol. It works."

Cyrus huffed away, while Fitz slowly followed.

The meeting was fine, per usual. Fitz was incredibly distracted, zoning out during the important times. So unprofessional, he should have called out. Thankfully, Cyrus and Liz weren't chewing him out for not staying focused. As soon as it was over, he went outside to call Olivia. She had become a rock for him, speaking sense into his head. He hoped she was available to talk him through something.

"Olivia Pope."

"Hi."

"Hi. How are you?"

"How are you?"

"I'm fine," Olivia said, with skepticism coating her response. "What's up?"

Fitz began to rub his eyes, before softly requesting, "One minute?"

She paused. "What's wrong, baby?"

"Just one?"

He heard her sigh and knew they were on the same page. He closed his eyes, allowing the busy doubts and thoughts leave.

"Fitz..."

He leaned against the railing, assuming he was ready to share what happened. "Mellie called this morning to discuss Teddy's trip and honestly, Liv... I'm just about done with her."

"Okay."

"You know, I don't understand why she has be so fucking difficult. First, I find out that Teddy is going to North Carolina, not staying here, like she said a month ago. She gives orders about how Teddy is going to be transported like a secondhand package on 95, and then when I want to give a say, she rips my head off. And it turns into a fight between us and not about him. It's not my fault."

"Oh, Fitz. I'm sorry."

"It hurts every time. I never want him to leave. You know I do my best to not show her in a poor light, but I keep thinking she doesn't do the same. And now she wants to revisit custody. Knowing her, she is going to weasel her way into changing shit. I cannot lose him."

"Honey, breathe."

The request seemed ridiculous. Why would breathing help? He needed to get his words out. Release the venom that was stirring inside. None of this was making sense.

"When was the last time you saw her?"

"In person?"

"Yes."

It was embarrassing, but he replied. "Two years."

"Even with Teddy around?"

Fitz ran his fingers through his hair and plainly answered, "Liv, we are the worst. After those papers were signed, all hell broke loose. Couples who don't split amicably, usually don't kiss and make up. Cyrus and her lawyer have been pros about locations. Plus, her family has been gracious to be the go-between. I am a plague in her eyes. If my genes could be erased, they'd be gone!"

Hearing her stifling her laughter made him smile. There were tendencies to overreact, but she could help him come back down to earth.

"How long is he going to be gone?"

"A whole week."

"Do you have any events coming up?"

"No. Just the office."

Olivia asked, "What if we get away for a few days."

The idea was noble, but Fitz didn't find it realistic. "Livvie," he sighed, walking inside, flashing his badge to the guard. "I probably shouldn't."

"If you're not home, the reminders won't be as strong. Then we will just relax and get distracted."

"I don't know."

"C'mon," she emphasized, "I know you have vacation time and we're off for another week here."

"Where should we go?"

"That's up to you."

Fitz twisted his lips. What was the point of suffering? Usually parents were ecstatic when their kids were out of town.

"Okay. You've convinced me."

"Want to come over tonight? I have perfected that lasagna you like. We can talk about everything."

"What time?"

Olivia suggested, "I'll be home by 4, so you two can stop by whenever. There's no rush."

"Sure."

"Okay. I bet you have some work to take care of."

Groaning as he returned to his office, "I shouldn't have come to work."

"And she would have called you at the house."

Caught by surprise, he chuckled, "That is true, woman."

Olivia continued to laugh, "You're a trip. But I love you, Fitz."

His ears perked. "I love you too."

Fitz had to use an app on his phone to help him go to sleep. It was horrible. He and Teddy came home around 10, and he got Teddy to bed thirty minutes later. He may have gotten 3 hours. But when the sunlight finally peeked through his window, he was ready to go. Instead of staying up late to repack, he chose to do it while Teddy was waking up. Not that he was a complete sap, but he played loud music and let his boy watch a favorite cartoon before breakfast. That was not the norm, but it was Christmas break and Fitz had a feeling it was going to be an interesting kind of day.

After a hearty breakfast and two trips to the bathroom, they waited in the living room. Teddy had a coloring book in his lap, entertaining himself while swaying his feet back and forth. Fitz kept checking the window.

"Do you have everything in your backpack?"

"Yes."

"There's two green apple lollipops for you to have on the flight to North Carolina and back home."

Teddy glanced at his father quizzically. "I'm really getting on an airplane without you?"

Disappointed, Fitz replied. "Yes, there was a change of plans, but you're going to do great. You be good for Uncle Jonathan and Aunt Belinda, okay?"

Teddy nodded.

"And mind your manners if you see your grandparents and all your cousins. If you go out, wear your nice shirt and bowtie."

"Daddy?"

Sleep deprived and distracte, he quickly acknowledged Teddy. "Yeah?"

"Why haven't you mentioned Mommy?"

"Hmm," he turned around to see Teddy. His head was cocked, two crayons in his hand. The sweetest pair of brown eyes judging.

"You didn't say what I should do. Like… be good for her?"

Fitz knew he got caught; his son was definitely becoming more aware of others' feelings and the situation at hand, which meant ignoring Mellie. "You're right. I apologize. I want you to be on your best behavior at your mother's house. Be kind. Make lots of memories."

"I will. I'm going to miss you, Daddy."

"Me too."

They hugged and Fitz didn't want to let go. But he had to be strong and brave for Teddy; to let him know that change is okay, and going to his mother's isn't a bad thing. He would be safe. There would be other people who cared about him and wanted to see him. He couldn't be selfish. he was doing Teddy a disservice. He had to trust. Even if it was only a little bit.

Pulling away so Teddy could see his face, Fitz added, "You FaceTime me whenever you want to. I will pick up."

"There's Jonathan," he pointed to the window.

Fitz stood, deeply breathing, then walked over to the mini suitcase. "Okay, buddy. It's time to go."

"Okay. I love you!"

He kissed Teddy's forehead and cheek. 'I love you too."

The two walked to the car. Jonathan and Fitz shook hands as Teddy got situated in the backseat. After a quick goodbye, the car left. He stood in the driveway, watching the car disappear.

Olivia arrived thirty minutes later, wearing her hair down, in a sweater and jeans.

"Ready for our vacation?"

Firs shrugged. "Still don't know where we're heading."

"Maybe we can just take a nap first and then decide," she smiled, taking his hand, and kissing his palm.

"I want to read over the documents."

"Fitz..."

As she followed him into the study, Fitz opened a huge folder.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm just looking over the terms."

"Fitz Grant, I'm surprised you don't have this thing memorized."

"Oh, but I do," he reminded, looking for something. "I just need to stay sharp. Just in case."

Olivia rolled her eyes. "You can't keep worrying. He just left, honey. Teddy is going to have a great time. She won't be stupid and then nullify the parameters. She'd lose rights completely. We're all lawyers."

It didn't matter. Fear was overtaking him. When Teddy went to Mellie in the summer, Fitz didn't sleep well and it didn't seem to fare well when Teddy returned. Fitz didn't want a repeat of the abandonment issues. It was slow, but Teddy was beginning to turn the corner. In a frenzy, he turned the pages quickly - almost too fast - the crisp corners would mark his fingertips for sure. As if he had laser vision and could skim through the legal verbiage.

"Hey. Hey. Hey!" Olivia rushed around the desk, pressing her hand into his chest, halting his movement, bringing him back. "You have to stop. Right now!"

His face crumpled as he pushed the folder off the desk. Pages covering the floor, while heeding Olivia's advice, and relying on her for comfort.

"You have to stop punishing yourself for this. I can't make you forget that he's not here. But I want to be here for you when you want a shoulder to cry on, or if you want to vent, or just sleep, while he's away. This is hurting you more than helping."

"I don't trust her."

"You need to trust the system."

Fitz gritted his teeth, "But Liv."

"What is it that's holding you back? You have the upper hand. Of the two of you, you have no reason to be scared of having him taken away from you."

"I can't sleep when he's not here. When he's with her. She rejected me. Fine. I don't fucking care about but I can't have her reject him. I know how that feels. I won't have that happen to him."

Fitz couldn't deny how sweet Olivia was being. She knew the sensitivity of this ordeal. This was always going to be part of his life and to know that she was willing to stick it out with them, was remarkable. Her kisses, ever so tender, helped him relax.

"I'm sorry."

"There's no need to apologize right now. You're being honest. I don't like what's happening, but holding on won't be beneficial. You have a son who looks up to you. One day at a time."

They held hands.

"C'mon. Let's run you a bath," she rose on her toes to kiss him. "I bought some epsom salts and one of those fun bath bombs."

Olivia began to walk upstairs.

"Up you go."

"Thank you," he whispered against her cheek. "I couldn't do this without you."

Every night, Teddy and Fitz talked on FaceTime. He was determined to notice something new about his son that may had been overlooked since they always were together. When the call connected, Teddy was wearing a baseball cap and a toothy smile. Fitz immediately felt lighter.

"Hey!"

"Hi, Daddy."

"How's it going?"

Teddy replied cheerfully. "It's cool! We to Rahh-leigh today and we took family pictures. Then we were making cookies earlier with this flour called almond."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah. Mommy wanted me to try some new things when I'm down here."

Fitz nodded, just so happy to see Teddy on the screen. "That's great."

"Daddy?"

"Mmhmm."

Being as innocent as could be, he asked, "Do you still love me even when I'm at Mommy's house in North Carolina?"

Knitting his eyebrows, Fitz replied, "Absolutely. Positively."

"That means yes?"

"Yes! I want you to remember that. I will always love you. If you're at Poppy's house. Your mom's house. My house. Olivia's place. Anywhere. I love you this much." To make a point, Fitz stretched his arms wide. "This much!'

Teddy clapped. "That makes me happy."

"Me too." Fitz smiled.

"Guess what?"

"What?"

"My cousin Annabella. I don't know if you've met her, but she said that her parents might divorce too. So it's not just us."

Fitz paused, waiting for Teddy to continue his train of thought.

"It is bad that some days I'm happy that you two are not married and then some days I cry?"

What was about Teddy's poignant statements - rare in fashion - that just made Fitz want to curl into a ball and drink into oblivion?

"Teddy. I am so sorry."

Shrugging, the boy inched closer to the screen; Fitz could count the tawny clusters of freckles. Then he whispered, "Don't be mad, Daddy. It's not all the time. Well. One kid at school said they don't even see their Dad. So, I guess it's not that bad. I see you most of the time. And then I see Mommy sometimes. So that's okay, right?"

His boy was growing up some more. Always putting things back into perspective. "You're so wise, Theodore Grant. You're a great kid."

"Mommy says I need to say bye. I have to go brush my teeth and get ready for bed."

Fitz's eyes softened, while letting out a quick sigh. "Thanks for obeying your mother. Goodnight, buddy. I'll talk to you tomorrow night but I will see you in three days."

The two exchanged a fun goodbye and then hung up. Instead of turning on the TV, Fitz opted for a book. Reluctantly donning his reading glasses, he returned to a mystery novel a fellow lawyer recommended.

He didn't notice Olivia cuddling next to him.

'Hey, good lookin'."

He grunted. "Not with these dark circles, but hello."

"How is he?"

"Great."

Olivia massaged his scalp and he closed his eyes. It's a long moment, trying to regulate his breathing.

"What are you thinking about?"

Fitz didn't answer, just remaining still. Olivia gave him some time before asking how she can help.

His voice cracked as he formed words.

"I miss him. I miss my guy."

"He's coming back to you. You haven't lost him."

They agreed to visit Annapolis; only 35 minutes away and they could do a lot of walking around, since it hadn't snowed much in the area. Fitz brought his camera that had been collecting dust. Taking pictures of Olivia. The architecture and colorful buildings.

The scenery change excited Fitz. He was smiling more, blatantly flirting with Liv whenever he could.

"I can't believe you convinced me to get out of DC."

"I did," Olivia nudged him, as they snuck kisses whenever anyone left the elevator, en route to their room. "It's going to be good for you."

Their clothes started to peel away once they arrived to their room. On the bed, Fitz pulled Olivia on top of him, so he could feel her.

"Damn, you're so beautiful," his voice was husky.

"But you say that all the time."

Tucking some of her curls away from her face, he grinned, "Maybe since we're not home, it's a different kind of beautiful."

Their kisses deepened, hands roamed with urgency, before their love took over.

A few hours later, while Olivia was blissfully sleeping, Harrison called. Fitz reached of the robe on the chair, covering his naked body lazily, and answered the phone. He briefed Harrison, who was very empathetic. But as his best friend, still gave him some hard-hitting advice.

"You have to give her some space to grow."

"I'm done giving her second chances."

"If you were the one being distant and an asshole, would you want to receive some mercy."

"She doesn't deserve it."

"That's not what I asked, Fitz. Think about it from her point of view. We know she did wrong. We know she hasn't stepped up. But maybe, just maybe, she's going to try. See what she does this week. If you hear that she messed up, then you can firmly make a decision. But you're going to be on the offense before he steps into her house, you've already lost."

Olivia and Fitz celebrated the New Year in New York City. Their spontaneous week was coming to an end; Fitz bought train tickets and thanks to a connection, they were able to get a room at the Marquis. They had been to the city so many times separately, they were quite content staying in their room the whole 24 hours. Making love before and after watching the ball drop from their window.

The last two days, they ran errands, went to a movie, and cleaned. A sensible staycation.

On their way to Dulles to meet Teddy, Olivia reminded Fitz, "Oh my gosh, you surprised me that day I came back from Atlanta!"

Bopping along to the song on the radio, he showed off his crooked smile. "Yes. That was a great day."

Thankfully, the commute wasn't too bad, and they reached the airport parking lot with 20 minutes to spare. A little self conscious, he chose to wear a black leather jacket, so he could look "cool" in front of Mellie's family. Olivia had to encourage him, which she didn't seem to mind.

"You look fine. You look hot," Olivia squeezed his hand. "All we're doing is picking up Teddy."

"Jonathan texted me and said their gate is 2C."

Fitz and Olivia walked to the baggage claim, waiting for the spunky four-and-a-half year old to appear.

"They should be getting off the plane now," he said, glancing at the ticker every two minutes. His leg bounced, trying to downplay his nerves. But Olivia's nails were running through his curls.

"Daddy!"

Fitz shot up, seeing Teddy skip towards him. Not caring anymore about how he looked, he knelt down, with arms opened wide, welcoming his boy back home. It was like Teddy's little legs weren't going fast enough but they finally reunited.

"Oh my God, I've missed you."

The two bear hugged. Teddy was giggling as Fitz squeezed him tightly, kissing the top of his head.

"Hi Livia!"

"Hi, sweetheart," she exclaimed. When Fitz let go, they embraced. "You've gotten big since we saw you last."

Teddy laughed so hard, he was snorting. "No! I've only been gone for days." Looking back at Jonathan, his wife Belinda, and their son Austen, he asked, "How many?"

"Six."

"Yeah, six!"

Jonathan shook hands with Fitz, as he handed off Teddy's suitcase. "Hey."

"Hey, man. Thanks for taking care of him," Fitz smiled. "I appreciate it. Hi Belinda. Austen! I'd like you all to meet my girlfriend, Olivia."

The four exchanged greetings. Jonathan nodded, "Anytime. We're so glad he was able to come down for New Year's. We hope to see you soon."

"It was nice to meet you, Olivia," Belinda grinned. "We've heard so much about you. Teddy just adores you. You know that no matter what happens, we're family. If you need anything, you let us know. I would love for Austen to get to know Teddy better."

Fitz glanced at Olivia, who gave him an encouraging nod. "That'd be great. Maybe for President's Day weekend, we could all get together."

"Perfect. You call me."

Everyone said their goodbyes. After Jonathan and his family left, Fitz kissed Olivia's temple. "Let's get home."

Teddy hopped up and down, reaching for Olivia's hand. "Livia, are you coming with us?"

"You bet!"

"Can I pick you up, Bear?"

The boy agreed and Fitz held him in his arms.

Olivia hooked their arms together; "See, that wasn't so bad. You just don't like her, not her family."

His nose flared, before fixing his face. "Jonathan and Belinda are good people. The jury's out on the others. I don't want to be a homewrecker. He has roots in the south and here, so I don't want to mess that up. I'm going to work harder."

"Well, you're doing good, Fitzy."

The week was rough, but he passed another test.