A/N: So just want to say a few things quickly before we begin.
1-last chapter changed: Nothing major, but I changed the ending segment a little bit (took away all mentions of Cinder since I want to take that sub-plot a different way).
2-poll and new story: Thanks to everyone who voted on the poll. I now have a new story up, a Transformers Prime/RWBY crossover 'The Autobot And The Arc', and it will be getting as much love and attention as this story is. A few friends of mine have been talking about coop-ing on another one of the stories I have listed on my profile and the poll. So if you're still interested, go and vote.
3-story focus: Just wanted to address a concern some of you had: The majority/main/primary focus/plotline of the story is going to be the relationship and interactions between Jaune and Glynda, but they're not going to be the only focus/plotline in the story (but they'll still going to be like 90% of the screen time).
We also have 2 more drunken marriage fics out there: "A Drunken Marriage of Autumn Fire" by SaurusRock625, and "A Drunken Mistake Can Lead To Something Purrrrfect" by Cyberleader2000 (that I helped beta).
Now that that's out of the way, let's get to the reason why you all are here! Here's chapter 9, enjoy!
General James Ironwood, Qrow Branwen, and Professor Glynda Goodwitch stood to the side of Ozpin's desk, while Professor Peter Port and Doctor Bartholomew Oobleck sat down on the chairs in front of it. They were carefully studying the images and reports of the green Grimm that were projected over Ozpin's desk.
"Hmm, I can honestly say I've never seen anything like this, nor have I heard of anything like this," Port said as he leaned in closer. This does indeed look troubling."
"Yes, yes," Oobleck added quickly. "Such a sudden change in a Grimm's appearance… I don't believe this is the work of natural evolution."
"What makes you so sure about that?" Ozpin took a sip from his mug.
"This change seems too sudden," Oobleck explained. "It could be that these are very old Grimm-"
"But they lack the other visual changes Grimm get while aging and getting stronger, such as additional and stronger bone armor," Port put in his opinion.
"Exactly," Oobleck nodded before turning his attention back to the head master. "Other huntsmen and huntress would have reported such small discrepancies. But since we're only seeing this now, and especially since they're in packs and are stronger than the regular Grimm, as stated in Ironwood's report... again, their appearance is too sudden for natural causes." He cuppd his chin. "The only logical conclusion is that this has to be the work of outside meddling, but I can't say by who and what."
"That's what we were afraid of," Ironwood sighed.
"So basically we're back at square one, but just with more speculation," Qrow said.
"Unfortunately so," Ozpin sighed. "Anyway, Port, Oobleck, thank you for your time and for giving us your opinions on the matter."
"Not a problem Ozpin," Port bellowed as he stood up, "I'm always glad to help."
"I as well," Oobleck offered a smile. "Thanks for having us Ozpin, have a good afternoon." Both he and Port walked to the elevator and rode it down.
"Are we sure bringing them in on this was a good idea," Ironwood questioned a moment after the elevator doors closed.
"It's not like news of these… mutant Grimm will remain silent forever," Ozpin reasoned. "Besides, I've known and worked with them for close to two decades. I trust them. I've even thought of fully bringing them into our organization."
"Ozpin I must protest that," Ironwood stated.
"I don't see why," Glynda countered. "Both Peter and Oobleck are exceptional huntsmen in their own right, and I agree with Ozpin in that they are very trustworth."
"Loose lips sink ships," Ironwood recited. "We have enough people as it is and having more in on this just increases the chance of information slipping into the wrong hands."
"You know if I recall correctly, that was the same argument against you joining us." Qrow crossed his arms with a smug grin on his face.
"Back then we didn't have a maiden missing or mutant Grimm roaming around," Ironwood's expression hardened. "Nor were our enemies on the move and we can't track them."
"Ahem," Ozpin got their attention. "You all bring up excellent points, but perhaps this is a discussion for another time," Ozpin reasoned. "We shall continue this conversation later. In the meantime, please see if you can find out anything else about these Grimm." Qrow and Ironwood shared a glance with each other before nodding at Ozpin and left. As soon as the elevator doors closed, Ozpin let out a sigh and rubbed his temples.
"Are you alright sir?" Glynda asked with concern.
"Yes I'm fine," Ozpin answered, too quickly for Glynda's liking as her eyes narrowed by the smallest margin. "I suppose the stress from our situation is getting to me, but I'll manage." He offered her a honest smile.
"Ok then," Glynda accepted with a nod. "Is there anything I can do to help?"
"No thank you, I'm fi-" a notification popped op on his terminal and he took a moment to read it. "Actually there is something you could do for me, if you don't mind."
"What is it?" Glynda raised an eyebrow.
"We have a… situation going on in the cafeteria."
Jaune yelped and gripped his baguette tight as he hide behind a pillar to take cover from bananas as they pelted the pillar like a machine gun. He would never admit it, but he was partially responsible for the hell that broke loose.
It started off as a normal day in the cafeteria, though his team and team RWBY were at different tables. His team was talking about the upcoming week and gossip and team RWBY was talking about the best week ever… or something like that, and Nora was playing a game of tossing food at Yang's mouth.
But then Yang decided to be mischievous and call out to him, asking him how the 'promise lands' felt and if they were as heavenly as everyone imagined. This brought on some wolf whistles and teasings from some nearby tables.
In response, Jaune may or may not have encouraged Nora to start aiming for Yang's forehead. He may or may not have also encouraged her to throw large objects of food, like apples. And he may or may not have given Nora a creampie to use, which ended up hitting Weiss instead.
And that's how the food fight started.
Now it would have been fine if it was just between his team and RWBY, but then that would have made it simple. And if the wedding ring hidden under his fingerless gloves was any indication, life wasn't simple. Some students fled but a vast majority of them aligned themselves with either team RWBY or JNPR. It was a civil war. Food was flying everywhere and was being used as weapons in melee combat.
The strangest thing of them all was that team CRDL allied themselves with team JNPR. They claimed it was to 'help the man who felt the promise land,' but he guessed it mainly had to do with the fact that team CFVY, whose team leader had him pinned down with bananas, had joined team RWBY's side.
"Hey ya fearless leader!" Nora cheered as she and took cover next to him. Jaune glanced over and he was only slightly surprised when she saw that Nora was using a large stick with a watermelon at the end and Ren was using two leeks as weapons. Their uniforms had little stains on them.
"How are you guys doing?" Pyrrha slide up behind them. She had some soda stains on her shirt and hair. "I was doing fine and then my... uh, bread sword broke." Jaune then held out his baguette towards her and she accepted it with a thankful nod. "How about you guys?"
"Doing good myself, until Coco decided to shoot out bananas like a machine gun." Several more bananas impacted against the pillar to reinforce his point. "I've been pinned down here for a little bit, then you guys showed up."
"Aw come on," Nora waved her hand in dismissal. "There're just bananas, it can't be that ba-" she peeked around the corner just in time to see three bananas heading her way.
PLOP
Nora's head recoiled back behind the pillar to dodge two of them. The rest of JNPR stared at the banana that was thrown halfway in Nora's mouth. Jaune resisted the urge to say 'I told you so.' And then Nora angled her head up and swallowed the whole banana in one gulp. Jaune stared at her for a moment and then looked at Ren, whose cheeks were now a light shade of red.
"Ok so," Pyrrha spoke quickly, "do we have a battle plan?"
"Um..." Jaune cupped his chin but didn't have anytime to think. Their attention was drawn to a noise on the flank. They all turned and saw Yatsuhashi holding up and shaking a soda vending machine. Next to him stood Coco, who had an evil grin on her face. Jaune's face paled as he realized what was happening just as Yatsuhashi stopped shaking the vending machine and Coco punched it with her fist.
"Scatter!" Team JNPR shot in all directions and just barely dodged the hail of soda cans. The cans exploded on impact, creating a colorful mist of a smoke screen and allowing him to escape. He looked to the left and saw a student that was on his side getting double teamed. He was about to go help her but then he realized he gave his weapon to Pyrrha.
But it didn't matter because he soon found himself lassoed by a string of sausages, tackled to the ground, and restrained. "Thanks Nova!" Yang called out cheerfully as she restrained Jaune in a police hold. Jaune didn't even bother questioning why she had full turkeys as hands. "You're in trouble now, Vomit Boy," she taunted in a low voice as he struggled to break free from her grip and from the sausages that bounded his arms.
"Thank you Yang," Jaune turned to the right and saw Weiss sitting on a table with a cheerful smile. He watched as she stood up, humming a happy tune as she turned to face the squirt bottles of mustard and ketchup that were next to her. Panic rose within him as Weiss twisted the lids of the bottles and started walking towards him, with a bottle in each hand.
"Weiss! Wait!" He pleaded as he continued to struggle. "Weiss wait! Wait wait wait wait! Please! Weiss, think about this for a moment!"
"Oh I have," Weiss said as she now stood above him. "Believe me, I have," her evil grin grew with each spoken word.
"Don't pour it all on him at once Weiss-cream," Yang said. "Do it slowly, I want to relish this moment." Jaune and Weiss just deadpanned. "Eh?" Jaune was sure that if there wasn't a massive foodfight going on there would be crickets chirping.
Actually no, not even the crickets would give her the satisfaction of a reaction.
Weiss scoffed at her teammate and then turned her attention back to her victim. "No!" Jaune shouted as she put the bottles over his head. "Nononono-"
"Oie!" Cardin shouted. "Here's the main course with a side order of pain!" Weiss didn't even have time to yelp as she was sent flying when Cardin smacked her in the head with a giant ham. Yang stood up to punch him when she was decked from behind by Dove when he used his aura charge and crashed into a salad bar. Cardin then tore the sausage rope off of Jaune and quickly dragged him behind an overturned table to dodge other thrown food.
"Uh… thanks?" Jaune felt really weird thanking Cardin. Granted he's not as much of a jerk as he was before, but still.
"No problem man," Cardin responded with a grin. "So what did you think of my one liner?"
Jaune thought for a few moments. "Honestly it was a bit cringy." He leaned back slightly when Cardin narrowed his eyes. "But still not as bad as anything Yang would've ssaid. Needs some work though. So uh, why did you save me?"
"I can't help the God amongst men out of the goodness of my heart?" Jaune deadpanned and raised an eyebrow. "Fine. Look, Yang and Weiss about to drench you in condiments? They did the same thing to Russel." He pointed over the side at Russel, who was absolutely covered in ketchup and mustard stains. He also was duel wielding folding chairs and was attacking Yatsuhashi, who was swinging the vending machine at him.
They knew this was a FOOD fight, right?
Sky then ran up and crouched next to them, with a bowl in his hand as Cardin continued to speak. "I didn't really like that so we vowed to avenge my teammate." He clapped his hand on his teammate's shoulder. "Sky here made the weapon that will grant us revenge."
"It's basically just a chopped salad," he shrugged as he raised the bowl up, "but with a crap ton of olive oil, vinegar, salt, pepper, ketchup, mustard, relish, bread crumbs, a bunch of truffles from the dessert bar, whipped cream, coleslaw, juice, soda, and anything else I could find." Jaune took a sniff and recoil back at the vile odor. Good lord, that thing was like a bio-weapon!
"So I was thinking: Me and Sky distract them and hold Weiss in a single spot, and then you throw it at her. What do you say, you in?" Jaune paused for a moment to process this. Cardin was technically asking him to help bully one of his friends, something he could never do. But then again said friend called him a dunce every ten minutes and just tried to turn him into a human hot dog...
"You know what," Jaune said as he reached for the bowl, "I'm in."
"That's the spirit!" Cardin gleamed. Sky tried to peak over the table and had to quickly duck to dodge a tomato. "Ok," he hefted the giant ham over his shoulder, "we all good on the plan?"
"Uh, I lost my weapon making that thing," Sky said.
"Ok well just run around and distract them then. Jaune, wait a bit before doing so. Alright, go!" They jumped over the table with a war cry and Jaune remained behind cover, holding the bowl close, doing his best to avoid the horrific smell. After almost a minute he peaked over the table. Sky was backing up and doing his best to dodge Yang's chicken fists of furry while Cardin was engaging Weiss, who was combating him with a whole swordfish.
Now was his chance. Vengeance would be his!
Weiss was starting to get annoyed now. She just wanted to have a normal day. Instead her binder went missing, Ruby wanted to have the best day ever with the binder she totally didn't steal, and she blamed Yang for the food fight that was happening.
This was absolutely ridiculous! She was a Schnee, heir to the prestigious Schnee Dust Company! She didn't have time for something as childish, immature, juvenile, or messy as a food fight!
Oh who was she kidding? This was fun!
The chaos, the excitement, the unique ways everyone was improvising the food as weapons, beating people by using a swordfish as a fencing sword. This kind of excitement was new to her, and she liked it.
This was also a perfect opportunity to get a little petie revenge. She helped Yang get revenge on Russel by holding him down while she emptied half a bottle of ketchup and mustard on him. She wouldn't out right admit it, but seeing Russel squirm was very satisfying. It also gave her an idea for a certain blond haired dunce that called her Snow Angel every five minutes.
It was going to be perfect. He would be held down, completely vulnerable and at her mercy. She would savor the moment as she showed Jaune who her better was and why he shouldn't call her Snow Angel. But the Cardin had to come out of nowhere and ruined everything. She was knocked back, but quickly recovered and took a battle stance, ready to teach him a lesson. But it turns out that brute, for a slow of a heavy fighter as he was, learned how to hold his own against faster and more agile opponents. It was almost impressive actually.
However in the middle of the fight, Cardin glanced to his right quickly and then backed away from her, with a hint of a grin on her face. Weiss raised an eyebrow and turned towards where he glanced just in time to see the bowl leave Jaune's hand and fly straight towards her.
Luckily for her, she was able to quickly dodge the projectile by ducking under it. She then glared at Jaune and readied her weapon to make him pay. He gasped and froze, fear plastered on his face. Her grin grew as she was about to move in for their strike but she then realized that Jaune was staring at something behind her, and in her peripheral vision she saw Cardin and many others stop and cower in fear at what was behind her.
In fact, the whole cafeteria had gone silent. Weiss turned around and gasped in horror. The color drained from her face as a haunting chill crept up her spine.
Glynda Goodwitch stood before the open cafeteria doors. Her crop was extended out and the bowl and most of the food was suspended in front of her. Most of it. Some of the food got on her shirt, face, hair, and glasses. She did not look happy.
A/N: R.I.P. Beacon's students. They shall be missed.
I want to give thanks to Austin Ga Kill (they guy who started the drunken marriage trend) for betaing this chapter for me since Cyber couldn't because his computer went kaput.
What did you guys think? Like it? Hate it? See something that could be improved? Leave a review, all criticism is welcomed!
Thanks again for reading, have a good day!