Dear french reader; Yes, I know... I'm sorry. I'm french, write in english, then translate in french (completely crazy I know...) But for the moment I have no time for the translation so I don't know when I'll publish the next chapter in french. I'm glad though you're reading it in english. Thank you.

Stuck inside his Lady's body, Adrien is experiencing the joy of being a woman and having periods. Have a good, funny reading!

CHAPTER 9: Luck's against us

"Time hopper," Adrien mused. "I love the pun." He moved closer, almost prowling around like a cat—which was weird though with Marinette's body—and scrutinizing the suit from every angle. He whistled when he noticed a rabbit's pom-pom-shaped tiny tail on his backside. "Awesome! You really rocked this!"

"Right, huh?" Time Hopper wiggled his butt and gushed cheerfully, "I knew you would like it, dude!"

"Am I bothering you guys?" Marinette reminded them that she was also there. She straightened up, her foot tapping against the floor. "You're here to help up this time, right?" She inquired, raising a brow.

Time Hopper nodded and took Marinette's hand in his. He lifted it to his mouth and softly pressed his lips against her knuckles. "Of course. Now that you've taken a few days to work out your issues," he prompted. He kept her hand in his and called for his transformation to wear off.

When Marinette saw Adrien standing in front of her, she let out a strained whimper, her hand quickly flying out of his. Her eyes shut, and Adrien was quite sure that his future self had just broken his girlfriend.

"Maybe we need to work a little bit more on how to get Marinette used to me being her handsome partner in a tight-skin suit and her boyfriend before we do anything else," Adrien suggested, biting Marinette's cheek to hold back a giggle as he forced her to lock gazes with his civilian self.

Her eyes widened, and eventually, she blushed crimson. Although, Adrien could see why she felt so overwhelmed. This copy of himself coming from the future looked quite older—not like just a few weeks or months but a few years. He didn't get the chance to see it when they were at Alix's place. Maybe because of the Miraculous magic and its quantum masking. However, now that the glamor had vanished, it was pretty obvious.

He knew for a fact he wouldn't stand a chance face to face with an older Marinette, and it appeared to be the same both ways. That was the reason why Marinette's face dead-panned at that very moment.

"We'll give her some time. That's why I'm here before tonight's activities," the older Adrien stated as he rubbed the back of his neck.

Adrien made a face. His other self was implying sex, and he wasn't really looking forward to that part. Maybe he too needed some time to process what was going to happen.

"What about telling your mother you need some fresh air? We can go fetch some Chinese food and eat in a quiet place. There are some safe rooftops around here. No one will notice me or the fact that I'm coming from the future. Is that okay for you, M'Lady?" Adrien from the future grabbed her hand and squeezed it slightly, his thumb gently stroking her knuckles as he stared fondly at her.

Marinette let out a high-pitched squeak and gave him a cringe-worthy grin.

"This means,—yes, I'd love to—in Marinette'ish dialect," said Adrien with a quiet chuckle.

"Oh, don't worry, I know that. I learned to speak Marinette'ish over the years." He winked at them. "There are no secrets anymore between us," he added with a soft smile.

Not surprisingly, Sabine had told her daughter to take as much time as she needed, and most of all, to talk to her if she felt the need. Her mother was not fooled, having sensed her daughter's struggle and discomfort this morning while she baked.

The older Adrien, with whom she had a date, had transformed into Chat Noir before going out discreetly by Marinette's balcony. He had given Marinette the task of bringing noodles and chopsticks to the meeting point while he went ahead to find the perfect spot for them, far from prying eyes.

Fetching some take-out food hadn't been hard for them. And after a pep talk from Tikki and him, she transformed into Ladybug, tracking with her Bugphone where her partner had settled for their lunch. Now the hardest thing was to find herself, detransformed, sitting next to Adrien Agreste, who apparently could wield chopsticks almost better than she did. Hers kept slipping from her shaking fingers every time their eyes met or every time he spoke.

Adrien stayed quiet, leaving them some privacy even if, somehow, he was also part of this.

Suddenly, Marinette left her chopsticks aside which made Adrien pout a little because, hell, he was still hungry! His girlfriend's eyes took the older Adrien's every feature in. Her gaze wandered all over his face. His jawlines were more chiseled, and a fine, neatly trimmed stubble graced his chin and cheeks. He also sported an undercut. His hair was short on the sides, longer and messier on top. Adrien thought that he should be approximately 25—maybe a little less. Marinette took a deep breath and cleared her throat which made him look at her expectantly.

Adrien felt her determination waver a bit, but she eventually took the plunge.

"So… hm… I know you can't tell too much about the future but… we're... us… Are we still…?" She fumbled to find her words.

"Yes," Adrien gushed cheerfully. "We're still together," he softly confirmed while fidgeting with his fingers. Or more precisely, fidgeting with a silver band on his left hand. No, it wasn't his Miraculous but an engagement band that adorned his left ring finger.

The moment Adrien saw it, his Lady gasped, and he knew she had noticed it too. His heart—well, not his but the one they shared—swooned with love.

"We're...en-engaged?"

"Married," Adrien corrected her with a smitten smile, his eyes sparkling with pride. "I asked you with Maman's ring. Trusting you with my life was the best decision I ever made on my own."

Adrien felt as if fireworks were exploding all around him, the thud blurring the surroundings. He zoned out for a while, processing the fact that, one day, she was going to say yes.

Marinette gulped but Adrien knew her resolution wouldn't falter. She was going to overcome her anxiety and the butterflies flapping inside of her belly.

"Isn't Ladybug unhappy about this situation? I mean your wife…well, the other me? You're still… going to—"

"Have sex with you? Yes. It wouldn't be the first time," he giggled, and Adrien flushed. He didn't need the reminder that they were close to having sex together. Him, him, and her. What was even that? Not a threesome but not a duet either. Hell, odd! Yet, the story of his life...

"We've been in your situation before. We both know it's the only way to get everything back to normal. She knew it would happen at some point. Besides, as you said, she's you. She's not mad or jealous."

"Nice." She grabbed her chopsticks and filled some noodles in her mouth, chewing and sketching a half-smile.

They kept eating in silence until Adrien eventually decided to ask his future self the dreaded question that Marinette was avoiding.

"How is it gonna work tonight? Do we have to do it in the same place or… ouch~," Adrien paused, making her voice waver a little as he gritted her teeth. "Or is being transformed… ouch~enough?"

Marinette's hand flew to her belly, and Adrien whimpered. "Can't digest the noodles?" He asked her as he felt pain creeping up inside.

She shook her head and looked up to the older Adrien. He was staring at her with an apologetic smile, his gaze soft and comprehensive.

"I think we're going to postpone tonight."

"What?! You can't do that," Adrien objected with pleading eyes.

"I can and I will. Marinette's going to have her period any second," he stated. "Pain shoots through her like a lightning bolt on the first day," he explained when he saw his puzzled look.

Marinette let out a small grunt and took a sharp breath. "We can do it right now. I'll be okaayy~" Her voice teetered again.

Adrien suddenly stood up and transformed. Chat Noir hastily swept Marinette off her feet, carefully holding her bridal style.

"Not a chance that I touch you if you're in pain. I'm bringing you back home to rest, M'Lady."

Chat Noir cautiously landed on Marinette's balcony. He looked down at her with concern, still holding her tight against him. Adrien could even hear his heart beating pretty fast as worry filled his veins.

"You're sure you can get back inside by the skylight? I can drop you by the front door if you want," Chat Noir proposed.

"Yes, Maman is busy in the boulangerie. She wouldn't even notice me getting back home," Marinette mumbled with a grimace, and Adrien felt pain suddenly shoot through her lower belly.

Chat Noir nodded and let her feet touch the ground again. Marinette quickly opened the window and sneaked inside her room as he followed suit.

"Go to the bathroom, Purrincess. It's okay," he reassured her.

She barely dismissed him with a wave of her hand. "See you in four days, Minou." And, with that, she rushed out of her room.

Adrien didn't know what to do. Her belly was hurting so much. He wanted to curl up in a ball in her bed, like a cat, and wrap her body in the downy blanket. But he didn't say anything—she knew better how to handle this. She walked into the bathroom and hastily opened a drawer, taking out a tampon.

"You… uh… you need to put this inside, right?" Adrien felt flustered all of a sudden. Never, EVER, he would have thought he would experience periods!

Marinette nodded as she pushed down her pants and panties and sat on the toilet. "I'm sorry you have to go through this with me. I expected them in two days, but sometimes, they come a little earlier," she mumbled with embarrassment as she pushed the tampon inside.

"You don't have to apologize. It's a little weird but it's okay!" Adrien truly meant it. He was growing some respect for women who had to go through this every month. "Besides, I'm worried about you. Does it always hurt like this?" He didn't ask because of the tampon—he was actually quite astonished when he realized that he didn't feel it. However, the cramping in her belly's muscles was sharp and painful.

She put her clothes back on and went to the sink to wash her hands.

"Not for all the women, but for me, yes. On the first day, I have painful cramps that last a few hours… I'm used to it by now. Nothing to worry about. I'm gonna take a painkiller and lie down a little." She took a box out of the drawer and swallowed a pill she got from it with a glass of water.

When she came back to her room, both of them were surprised to see that Chat Noir was still there, lying on her bed.

"Chat Noir? Why are you still here?" she inquired, lifting an inquisitive brow.

He propelled himself up on his elbows, looking down at her, and patted the spot next to him. "Come and you'll find out," he softly told her.

She climbed and joined him, finding that he was waiting for her, his arms wide open.

"C'mere," He motioned for her to lie against him.

Marinette pursed her lips, hesitating a little, but Adrien wanted her to trust him. So, he guided her in his alter-ego's arms. When she nestled against him, Chat Noir brought her closer until she lay almost on top of him, her belly resting against his side and their legs intertwined in a tangle of limbs. Then the feline hero started to purr. At first, it startled them both before they quickly realized that the vibrations reverberating against her cramped muscles were very soothing. She very much welcomed this hug until she and Adrien fell soundly asleep.

"Honey, are you already back home? Do you feel bett— Wait. Is it a cat that I hear purring in your roo—oh!~"

Adrien was the first to hear Marinette's mother, so he straightened up faster than his girlfriend. Something he shouldn't have done because now Sabine Cheng had a clear view of the superhero in a cat-themed suit lying in his daughter's bed.

Marinette quickly came to her senses, and Adrien could feel the sudden panic creeping up inside of her whole body.

"Maman! Er… It's not what it l-looks like. I-I can e-explain this…"

Sabine chuckled and smiled softly. "Don't go all Ladybug on me, sweetheart. Keep your excuses to save Paris. And, good afternoon, Adrien, nice to finally see you around," she blurted out as if she knew everything.

Scratch that.

She knew.

I'll spend some days off in Paris, starting tomorrow. I'll publish the next chapter when I come back on Sunday.