A/N: So this went in a far different direction than I had initially outlined, but in some ways it works better for what's to come. I hope you all enjoy. Just a shout, I'm still not receiving notifications from FFN - so if I take a while to respond... this is why. Also I have an AO3 profile under the same username and post there as well if you want to reach out that way. Leave a comment don't be shy!

Chapter Twenty-four

Gaffney Chicago, Present

"Suction."

"He's bleeding all over the place."

"Well, a building did fall on him," Connor murmured as he carefully placed his hemostatic clips. The heart monitor beat a slow steady pace in the background giving him the confidence that the patient was still stable as he worked.

Zanetti stood across from him doing her own damage control on the man – kid really – on their table, "Ortho is going to have a hell of a time with this one."

"Only if we can't get his bleeding stopped. He's going to need a new kidney." Connor replied as he surveyed his work before glancing at the screen. The patient's body had already swollen to an alarming degree, it wouldn't be too much longer before he and Zanetti wouldn't be able to continue. Not until the steroids kicked in and the inflammation reduced to a point where they could see what they were cutting and stitching. In the meantime, the kid would need to be placed on a bypass machine as he was kept in a medically induced coma. Ortho would be lucky to get a shot at him tonight.

"He's going to need more than a kidney," Zanetti muttered dourly as she moved a cauterizer to an area that was slowly seeping blood. It wasn't what Connor would use, but it was just as effective, "We need to speed this up. Five more minutes then we're closing before it becomes impossible to do so."

As if the universe had understood the surgeon's fears an alarm began to shriek. Both Connor and Zanetti sent a sharp look to his vitals before doubling down on their efforts. Stable had just flown out the window.

Molly's Chicago, Present

Old bars had an aroma all their own, Sarah thought lazily as she leaned on the pool cue that she was holding. Sweat and stale beer filled her nostrils like a heady perfume with only the faintest traces of cigarette smoke lingering like a forgotten guest. Molly's had a pretty strict no smoking policy, but every time the heavy door opened a small smoky squall rushed through the room giving any smoker a fresh nicotine craving.

"I don't remember this table being here," Sarah murmured as Kelly lined up his shot.

They were nearly ten minutes into the game at this point, but it had only just dawned on her that the pool table was new. The bar had felt more crowded when they had entered, smaller in a way she hadn't been able to put a finger on until now.

Severide snorted as his cue connected with its mated ball, "Hermann's trying to bring in more business. He's got it in his head that a pool table will get more people paying for drinks. Never mind there's no space for it. Dawson's been scrambling all week to find a way to get it out of here."

His ball tapped the rim of the pocket before dashing back to the table. It was her turn. Sarah hated pool, but Severide had passed her the stick before she realized what was happening, "Has it brought in more business?"

He shrugged, "No idea, but using it is making Dawson crazy...so bonus."

Carefully, Sarah glanced over to the bar to see the furtive scowl that Gabby was sending in their direction. Men could drop dead from a glare like that. Sarah held in a sigh and lined up her shot, "Aren't you living with her and Casey?"

"Yeah... And?" Severide asked with such false coyness that Sarah rolled her eyes.

She thought it best not to dive down the rabbit hole they were currently peering into as she watched the cue ball miss the blue ball and hit the sidewall. Sarah stepped back and sipped at her beer, "So... do you want to talk about what happened today? Or is watching me fail at pool the aim for the evening?"

Sarah was fine with either option. If he needed someone to talk to then she was all ears, but if he just wanted a friend – someone not attached to the myriad of misery that came with his job then she was fine with that too. Kelly had become a good friend to her after their initial hookup. It had surprised her really. She had counted on their first encounter to be their last, but the cocky firefighter was a giant puppy in some regards, and he had recognized she was hurting. It was only later she discovered he was too.

"Or... there is a clear third option." Severide answered with a glance loaded with intent.

Sarah quickly squashed the flicker of interest that look sparked in her belly as she arched an unimpressed brow at the firefighter, "Yeah... no."

Kelly blinked at the instant dismissal. A strain of rejected hurt curled his tone even as he forced a smile, "What? I was that bad?"

A faint laugh spilled from her lips before she could stop it. Her amusement was more than apparent as she uttered, "You were fine. I just don't think my boyfriend would appreciate me falling into bed with another man."

To her surprise, Severide balked. His cue scratched across the table as he turned and he sputtered, "Fine? I was fine?"

"So, you're ignoring the boyfriend half of that sentence? Okay." Sarah murmured as she barely contained her mirth, "My turn, right?"

He waved his hand at her as he grumbled, "Fine? I'm great... Kick a man when he's down. Cruel, Sarah, just cruel."

She rolled her eyes and took her shot. The red ball went into the center pocket, and she smiled faintly before trying to decide which ball she would try for next.

A faint, "Kick his ass, Doc!" Had her turning back toward the bar to see a grinning Hermann as Dawson turned her glower on him. Severide snickered quietly, apparently, the entire crew was doing their best to irritate the former paramedic.

Gaffney Chicago, Present

Connor shut his locker with a solemn click.

It had been a long damn day. He glanced at his watch. It was a little after ten, he'd be home early, but it would be debatable if Sarah was still awake. It had been a hard day for her too...

"Perk up, Rhodes. Our patient hasn't croaked. We'll get a chance to reassess in the morning." Zanetti cajoled as she came around the corner. Connor seemed unusually exhausted, normally he was riding an adrenaline high when he left the OR. They may not have had much of a victory in their patient's case, but they sure as shit hadn't lost the guy either.

"Yeah, I know," Connor murmured as he quirked a half-smile at his attending. He was just mentally preparing himself for the talk that he and Sarah needed to have. Potential fight, actually, "I'm just tired."

"Come on. Let me buy you a drink." Zanetti threw on her coat before shoving the last of her things into her bag, "The look on your face tells me you can use one."

Sarah was probably asleep... Connor glanced at his watch again before pulling out his phone. There was no way in hell he was about to invite a fight with Sarah by not telling her that he was going for drinks with Sam. Especially since his girl had clocked his attending's attraction to him.

When he was sent to Sarah's voicemail, he silently groaned. She had been upset earlier and he knew that his penchant for hovering had irritated her. Connor hoped like hell that she wasn't ignoring him to prove a point now. He really wasn't in the mood.

He shook his head at Zanetti, "Raincheck? My girl's had a rough day and she's not picking up now. Either she's asleep or she's currently destroying a pint of ice cream with a bottle of wine. Either way, I should get home."

"Ever the attentive boyfriend. Makes sense." Zanetti murmured with a faint smile, "Alright, go play Prince Charming. Women always love that."

Connor doubted very much that Sarah would ever describe him as a prince unless it was to say he was spoiled like one. And yeah, he wanted to get home and take care of his girl, if she would let him, "Depends on the woman. I'm just as likely to get the tv remote thrown at my head."

That passing comment made Sam arch a brow, "I take it you're the reason for her rough day."

He shrugged, "Only slightly."

"Right, slightly means completely. I suggest you grovel Rhodes. Just grovel."

Zanetti's words echoed in his head as he unlocked the door to his apartment. He didn't think he had anything to grovel for,but check in on? ...Yes.

All the lights were off. It was the first clue he had that Sarah wasn't there. She always left the front entrance light on for him – even back in Riyadh and he would come to crash on her couch after a long shift. Her bag wasn't by the door, nor were her shoes. Connor didn't think that he had annoyed her enough for Sarah to go to her place. He quickly and quietly slipped down the hall to peer at his very empty, very made-up bed.

Connor sighed and pulled out his phone again. He hated it when she avoided him. He hoped she picked up this time. Even as he wished for it, he was pulling his jacket tight and fiddling with the keys in his pocket.

He listened for the ring. Once. Twice. Three-

"Hey."

A knot of anxiety uncoiled slightly as Sarah picked up, "Hey. I thought you were coming to mine."

"I never actually agreed to that."

She was teasing, Connor could hear the playfulness, but it didn't ease the faint disappointment that was fluttering lowly in his stomach, "Sarah, tell me that you're not avoiding me."

"I'm not. I should be downstairs in about five minutes or so. I don't need to sign in with the doorman or anything, right? Usually, I come up from the parking garage with you."

"No, Gary knows you by sight now. He'll wave you through." Connor murmured as he stepped out his door, "I just got in, so I'll meet you downstairs."

"You don't need to do that. I think I can use the elevator all by myself."

There was a lightness to her words that immediately put Connor on edge. One of his favorite things about Sarah was that she was shit at lying – well, lying to him. She was a distinctly honest person and right now she was setting off his Sarah lying alarm, "I want to. Where'd you go anyway?"

"Just for a drink with a friend. Played a game of pool. Seriously, you don't need to come down."

"You hate pool," Connor replied with a frown as he waited for the elevator doors to open.

"I want a rematch. There's no way in hell I should have lost that."

Connor's frown deepened at the distinctly male voice that filtered to her mic, "Friend, huh?"

A muffled yelp sounded before Sarah sighed, "Yeah - yeah. My good friend...Kelly."

"Uh-huh." He may have punched the lobby button a little harder than necessary. A thin strand of frustration threatened to weave into anger. She knew how he felt about her and Severide. What the fuck was she thinking?

"Stop it."

Connor stiffened faintly before realizing she was speaking to him, "Stop what?"

"I can practically feel you turning caveman through the phone. You know how I feel about that."

A snort of laughter in the background did nothing to lighten his mood, "Oh no, Sweetheart. I am perfectly entitled to the anger I am currently feeling right now. So don't even try to turn those tables."

"Connor..."

"I'll see you out front." His tone brooked no argument as he hung up on her.

...

Sarah pressed her face to the front of her phone as their call disconnected. She missed the concerned glint that Severide was flashing her. His own protective caveman instinct flaring in the face of her not-so-subtle distress, "Hey, this guy you're seeing – he's a good guy, right?"

"What?" Sarah blinked as her gaze swiveled to meet his. It took a minute for the implications of his question to set in. She snorted, "Yeah, yeah. You know him, Kelly. It's Connor. Connor Rhodes. He's my boyfriend... He just also happens to know that I've slept with you."

"Oh." Severide said before her words registered and his eyes widened understandingly, "Oh... Well, why'd you tell him that?"

"I didn't. He has a weird six sense about people I've slept with. Don't ask." Sarah grumbled as she noted the amused twinkle that entered his grey gaze, "What?"

Severide couldn't contain his glee as he taunted, "You're in trouble."

"Shut up." Sarah cried though her laughter betrayed her, "This was not a fight I was hoping to have tonight."

A bemused frown scrunched at Kelly's face, "You normally hope for a fight?"

It was strange to hear those words aloud. She must sound like a lunatic, but she could only shrug, "Sometimes, yeah. I guess a discussion would be the better word to use, but really, it's a fight. And I just pushed a very sensitive button."

"You know jealousy is supposed to be a red flag in a relationship. Or so I've been told by past girlfriends." Severide replied sagely, not sure that he liked what he was hearing. He had met Connor in passing, didn't really know the guy, but he currently wasn't impressed. Quietly, he offered, "Do you want me to talk to him?"

Reese's response was instantaneous, "God, no. You'd just make it worse. Connor really doesn't do jealousy, Kelly." That was true. Connor could be a possessive asshole, but he didn't get jealous often. He didn't have that kind of insecurity, "It's what you represent."

It had taken her a while to realize that his agitation whenever Severide was mentioned had more to do with her absence than it did with any kind of caveman 'she's mine don't touch' mentality. Kelly was proof that she had tried to move on with her life... without Connor.

Upon seeing Kelly's confused stare, she sighed. It was only fair she explained some of the tangled mess that was her relationship to him, he'd need context if Connor ever did throw a punch at him, "Connor and I are complicated. I've known him for a long time, and we started sleeping together a few years ago. Somewhere in the middle of all of that, I fell in love with him. Scared the hell out of me when I realized, and I ran... almost a year ago."

It was a very watered-down version of their relationship. One that left out some very key details, but Kelly didn't need to know those.

Severide tilted his head as he processed her words, "You fell in love with him. He fell in love with you?"

She nodded.

"And you slept with me after you left him. Did you know how he felt?" He blinked and gave a low whistle as she shook her head, "But you do now, and he knows that you slept with me during your break and you're now in an actual relationship together... Girl, you're in trouble."

"I am fully aware, thank you," Sarah replied dryly as their cab pulled up to Connor's building. She moved to pull out her wallet from her bag, but Kelly waved her off as he nudged her out.

"You can pay me back with a rematch game. We'll bring your boyfriend." Severide prompted before she could protest, her mild glower had him snickering. He stepped out with her to make sure she got in okay. Not all of his chivalrous instincts were dead after all, "Hey Sarah... thanks for hanging out with me tonight. It was nice not having pity eyes on me all night."

"Anytime." Sarah returned softly, glad that she had been able to provide something of a distraction from his worry, "Look if I hear anything about Mr. Wilson I'll let you know, okay? Don't harass April too much."

Severide caught sight of Connor coming towards them. He was blank-faced, but there was no missing the tightness in his jaw. Oh yeah, Sarah was definitely in trouble. He scoffed lightly at her, "April's used to me harassing her, but yeah, please keep me updated."

"I will," Sarah promised as she leaned up to give him a hug goodbye.

Severide distantly wondered if she was trying to get a reaction from Connor by doing that as he saw the man's hand flex in his periphery. He nodded in greeting to the surgeon, "Hey, man. Your girl's a pool shark."

"Is that so?" Connor queried lightly as he tilted his head at her.

"No." Sarah rolled her eyes because they both knew she hated pool. She stepped into his space, her fingers latching onto the edges of his coat as she leaned up for a kiss, "Caveman."

Connor hummed lowly, his posture loosening minutely under her gentle caress. Though the way his gaze narrowed let her know that they'd still be having words. He pulled her against him as his attention returned to Severide, "You okay to get home?"

"Yeah, I'm good," Kelly smirked, he had never heard a more polite way of being told to fuck off. He pulled open the door of the cab as he bid the couple goodnight. He happened to glance back in time to see Sarah doing her best innocent expression and had to snort as he saw Connor's unimpressed stare. Yeah... they were definitely in a relationship.

...

Sarah bit her lip as she tried not to react to Connor's quiet irritation, "Can you yell at me inside where it's warm, or am I banished from the apartment tonight?"

It was his turn to roll his eyes, "You're not banished and I'm not going to yell."

"...You're not?" Sarah asked suspiciously as Connor pressed his hand into the small of her back.

"No." He replied succinctly. He ushered her inside to the waiting elevator and hit the button for his floor.

Sarah didn't know how to respond to that. She especially didn't know what to do when Connor merely crossed his arms and met her stare. This- this wasn't like him. If something upset Connor, then he sure as hell didn't stay quiet about it. And Sarah knew she had upset him. She was cursing herself for not sending him a text when she and Severide had left the hospital.

"You're home early," Sarah murmured.

Connor hummed in acknowledgment because her words didn't need a reply.

"Surgery go well?" She asked hesitantly and barely contained a wince. It felt duplicitous to be asking this when she had twofold reasons for the question. She genuinely wanted to know how the surgery went and that her boyfriend was okay, but she also wanted to be able to give Severide some good news, "Don't answer that yet, I may need you to yell at me first."

That made Connor arch a brow, but he refrained from asking. The elevator dinged to a stop and he left without another word.

Sarah trailed after him. Five years of friendship had allowed her to see many sides of Connor. She knew how he reacted to most anything, but his current silence was new. Unsettling in its unfamiliarity. She didn't like this.

She tossed her bag and coat by the entrance table and toed off her shoes without much thought. She may have dawdled longer in the entry way than necessary when the sound of the shower reached her ears and she blinked.

He couldn't possibly...?

There was no way Connor was ignoring this.

Sarah pushed down the hall and into the bathroom. Connor was already under the spray when she barged in, "Okay, what is happening?"

Connor peered at the fogged glass door and wondered if his girlfriend was serious right now. He could barely make out the outline of her body as she leaned against the sink, "Well, I'm taking a shower and then going to bed. I don't know what you're doing."

"Connor... I know you're mad at me. I don't -" She sighed, not sure how to articulate her thoughts. She couldn't believe she was pushing this issue. She really was a lunatic, "I should have texted you when I left with Kelly. I'm sorry."

The water shut off and his hand reached from the stall for his towel. Sarah held her breath when he appeared before her, grim-faced and dripping wet, "You should have called me."

"You wouldn't have picked up. You were in surgery." Sarah whispered.

Connor's sapphires flashed with barely contained emotion as he bit his tongue, "Then you shouldn't have said yes when he asked you out."

Shamed heat crawled into Sarah's cheeks as she quietly confessed, "I asked him if he wanted to get a drink. He'd had a rough day and I just wanted to give him an ear if he needed it. He's a friend."

Connor quietly counted to ten, "We were friends."

An indignant spark flared at his words, and he saw it too. Sarah huffed, "It's not the same thing and you know it."

"Do I?" Connor countered as he glared at her, "You know Zanetti asked me out for a drink tonight and I wanted to go. I was exhausted, but a drink with a colleague didn't sound half-bad, but the first thing I did was call you. I thought of you and how that might make you feel. And when you didn't pick up, I came home, Sarah. It'd be nice if that consideration went both ways."

He brushed past her before she could respond, not that she had a response. Sarah pinched the bridge of her nose as she screwed her eyes shut. She had messed this up more than she had realized. Why had she pressed the issue?

She turned on her heel as she tentatively followed him into the bedroom. Sarah quietly watched him go through his nightly routine from the doorway, feeling for the first time like an intruder in his home. Connor ignored her and yanked back the covers. He was done with this fight for now. Going in circles didn't interest him.

It was only as he settled that he muttered, "Go to bed, Sarah."

Sarah didn't move from the threshold right away. She stared solemnly at his form. He had tucked up on his side, spare pillow wrapped in his arms. His back would be to her when she eventually did crawl into bed. Everything about his posture screamed distance. Her stomach sank. Her tactile boyfriend was denying himself -denying her, his touch. When she did move from the door it was only to come sit next to his feet, "He's not replacing you. He can't."

"Sarah," Connor warned. He turned a pointed glare at her as he silently let her know that she needed to stop.

Yet, if there was anything she was good at then it was not listening to him. Sarah bit the inside of her cheek as she continued on, "I don't know if you've noticed, but I don't have a lot of people I consider friends. So, when I saw a person, who I do consider a friend, hurting I wanted to help. But you're right, I should have considered better how you would have felt. I know how you feel about Kelly. I'm sorry... I'm - I'm not good at this, Connor. I've never been good at this, being in a relationship."

Connor wasn't quite ready to forgive her, even as he found himself softening. The fact was Connor had been around for enough of her relationships to know that what she said was true. She really wasn't good at it, but not for the reasons she thought. Sarah naturally kept people at a distance. There was always some wall between her and the world. It was frustrating for the men who had dated her because most never made it past those walls of hers. He had though. He knew her and it scared the hell out of her. And Connor knew that too. What frustrated him was that she was still trying to push him away.

"Come to bed." He murmured softer than he had earlier.

As if to prove his musings, Sarah shook her head, "I think it'll be better if I head home. I think we could use a little space and -"

Connor bit back a sigh as he growled, "You're not getting into a cab this late by yourself and I'm not driving you. Get your butt in this bed before I hide your damn keys again."

"Con-"

He shifted to get up and Sarah squeaked, not sure why she was surprised that he was following through on his threat. Her palm smoothed over his chest before he could completely get out of bed, "Alright, alright. Just give me a second."

Her jeans were shucked with little care before her shirt fell to the floor. She joined him beneath the covers but carefully kept from reaching for him, not sure if she'd be welcomed. Connor shifted to face her. They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity before Connor quietly pointed out, "You told him we're dating."

"Well...we are." Sarah blinked as a horrible thought occurred to her and she tentatively asked, "...Were?"

"Are," Connor affirmed. One fight did not mean they were broken up.

The strange sinking feeling that had claimed her nerves hadn't abated with his reassurance, however. Sarah pursed her lips uncertainly, "Was I not supposed to? I didn't think we were keeping our relationship a secret."

Connor sighed, "Truth, I wasn't sure if you wanted it a secret. Aside from a couple of moments at the hospital, the only people who know are my sister and Dr. Charles."

"You told Claire," Sarah stated as she tried to remember if he had told her that already. The weary look he was casting her said he had.

She couldn't do this laying down. She pushed herself up and crossed her legs forcing Connor to roll to his back to look at her, "I told you I don't have many friends. I don't really gossip with anyone. If you want more people to know then I don't mind. I'm not ashamed of us, Connor. I'm not actively hiding it."

In truth, Connor had forgotten. He had forgotten that her natural inclination to keep people away extended to her coworkers as well. He had been on that side of her wall once. She could be friendly, but that didn't mean she had made friends – not by her standards.

"Sometimes it feels like we are. It's not just you. It's me too." Connor acknowledged that he had been holding back. It was almost instinctive at this point to not reach for her the way he wanted to. Two years of curbing his impulses because he was afraid of pushing her out of her comfort zone had taken its toll it seemed, "You've never been big into PDA, I know that. We both want to protect and support a professional environment at work. I don't want people looking at you differently because you're attached to the Rhodes heir."

The last bit came out so bitterly that Sarah immediately grabbed his hand, "Hey, the minute I start caring about your family name is the day I've been abducted by a pod person."

For the first time that night, Connor smiled, "Yeah, well you may not care, but other people do. I don't want it to affect you."

"Oh well." Sarah replied shortly, "I love you and that's part of the package."

It was so much more than that, however. Connor didn't know how to express it, but her big brown eyes were shining at him stubbornly. It was easy in that moment for him to believe that she would fight as hard for the two of them as he would. Maybe that was the problem- he still needed signs to believe that she was committed to their relationship. She wasn't looking for another...another friend. Resentful hurt panged through his chest.

Connor leveraged her grip on his hand and pulled her down to him. Sarah fell against his chest and snuggled closer a faint wave of relief swarmed her senses. He brushed his lips against her crown as he murmured, "Still mad at you."

"I know. I'm sorry." Sarah whispered, she tilted her head up to catch his gaze, "I really wasn't trying to upset you."

"I don't think you were thinking of me at all and that's the problem." Connor murmured back, "We still need to talk about you observing in the OR."

Sarah groaned, "Now?"

"No." Connor pulled the covers tighter around them, "I'm tired and still pissed. I'd probably make you do something you don't want to just to punish you a little."

Sarah pressed a kiss over his heart before shifting to move her pillow closer. They'd disperse eventually, but she'd enjoy his embrace for a little longer, "No, you wouldn't. You're not that vindictive."

"Yes, I am." He muttered as she settled, "You go out for drinks again, you'll...?"

"Text."

"Call." Connor corrected exasperated.

"Call," Sarah assured with a faint smile that he couldn't see.

He didn't need to, he knew she pushing his buttons, "Crazy lady. So lucky I love you."

Sarah fought her grin and hugged him tight as she tried to quietly reassure him that she chose him. She would always choose him.