"You know I don't have a long life to live. If I live three more years, that'll be well outside the time the doctors gave me when the tumor was discovered. I normally wouldn't have thought about having children. I wouldn't want to leave them without a mother. But if I can do this for you…" Her eyes were wet with tears, her voice raw, "if I can know you'll have a child to care for, someone to care for you…then it's worth it."
"Cassie…" Jenkins reached out his hand, but took it back, not wanting to make contact just yet. The state of arousal was still controllable. "But what about Mr. Jones? I thought…."
"No. We're just friends. I think he'd like to be more, but that's never going to happen. My heart was taken some time ago." Her eyes told him more than he had known.
"Eve said she'd be honored to do this for you, if I couldn't, or even if I die before I can give birth. They all think I'm doing this because I probably won't live long enough to have a child with anyone else. But that's not why…I don't expect you to return my feelings." She stopped ringing her hands and picked up her teacup. But she couldn't quite look him in the eye, after that confession.
Jenkins was dumbfounded. He had very tender feelings towards this beautiful, smart, vivacious, generous and compassionate woman, but had never allowed himself to pursue thoughts any deeper than that. He had forced himself to continually think of her as a daughter, to be the father she clearly had never truly had.
He was over a thousand years old. He knew he looked to be a modern man in his sixties, fifties if he was extremely flattering to himself. He knew himself to be in good shape for a man that age, but had no illusions about being a man in the prime of his life. Could he really ask her to -
He stood suddenly, unable to sit still any longer with those kind of thoughts rushing through his head, and turned to the front of his fireplace. He stood there, silent, starring at the mantle, trying to put his thoughts together. His emotions boiled inside of him. They raced from anger at being a victim to incredulousness at bringing a child to the world that might not ever feel wanted. He knew exactly how that child might feel.
He took a deep breath.
"This is very difficult, for me," he began slowly, remembering a story from several lifetimes ago. "I loved someone, once, a long time ago, and I vowed to love her for eternity, though she chose another." He looked aside at her, calmly listening to a story he had intended to never tell.
"I love her still. And I do not know how I can-" he stopped, undone with emotion, his voice failing.
"I understand, I think," Cassandra let him off the hook of continuing. "I can accept that you might not have the… proper, if you will, level of feeling for me that I do for you. But if we both understand that…."
"I don't know how much you've read of what's out there about the time of Arthur, but my mother was a devout Catholic," he continued, still with his back to her, gripping the mantle as if it was the only thing keeping him up. "Though she deceived my father in order to conceive me, she tried her very best to instill in me those virtues, given that my father was not part of my childhood."
Here Jenkins looked over at her again, smiling tightly. Cassie knew instinctively that though he did love his father, Dulaque, the famous Lancelot, he had loved his mother much more.
"While many of those virtues I have left behind over the centuries, some… remain." He said, looking back at the fire. As if making a final decision, he reached for a small box sitting on the mantle.
He turned towards her. "I've never thought much about… not having a-a sex life," he stuttered and blushed nervously, clearly uncomfortable with the topic. Cassandra thought it was adorable. "Mostly because I was… not married, if I'm to be completely honest," he finished, coming to her side, and bending down on one knee. Cassie held her breath.
"While this is not at all ideal, and there are many more things I would want to tell you, and I know it will be awkward, and I sincerely hope we can be good for one another… would you consent to marry me?" Jenkins asked, his eyes pleading with her, the box open in his hand, a simple gold ring.
"I could not imagine asking you to do…this, for me, without giving you something for your own. My father gave this to my mother as a symbol of his commitment to return to her no matter what. Though she deceived him, and he loved another, and he never really forgave me for being born, I've kept it all of these centuries, waiting to see if there would be anyone…. A promise, then, that I will try my very best to be a good partner, and that I will take care of our child whatever may come."
Tears spilled down Cassie's cheeks. "That's beautiful. No one has ever thought about me that way. Yes, I would love to marry you."
Librarians and Guardian turned at the sound of Cassandra and Jenkins walking in from the hall. Eve noted while they were standing close together, they weren't touching. Flynn had said Jenkins would already be suffering the effects of the pollen, she remembered. She was certain Jenkins was trying hard to stay completely appropriate.
Jenkins cleared his throat. "Miss Cillian and I have…discussed the situation," Jenkins started. He couldn't quite look any of them in the eye. This was mortifying. He took a breath and continued, "She has also accepted my proposal of marriage."
There was a collective gasp by the rest of the crew, a pause, and then Eve gave out an incredibly girlish squeal. "That's wonderful! Congratulations!" she said, coming around the main table to give Cassie a big hug. She offered her biggest smile to Jenkins, not touching him. She hoped everyone else would take her cue. "I've always said this is a weird gig, Jenkins, but I'm truly happy for you; I know this will all work out for the best."
"Thank you, Colonel, I do appreciate that," he returned, finally able to look her in the eye. Was this the answer? The rest of them being able to forget the fact that he would be taking this beautiful young lady regularly to bed, as long as there was a wedding first? Cultural norms are a powerful thing, he thought to himself as he accepted the congratulations from the rest of them in turn.
"How do we do this, then?" Flynn asked. "Do you want a legal wedding, the whole bit?"
"That would make it easier when our child is born, with a paperwork trail and everything," Cassandra said, looking up at Jenkins, "but is it possible to do on such short notice?"
"Ah – yes, actually," Jenkins went into Caretaker mode, pulling solutions out of his proverbial hat, "it is. I, as it happens, know a priest who would be willing to help."
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"Of course, my old friend, I would be honored," Pope Francis said later that evening to Jenkins, speaking in his native tongue of Spanish. He had met the enigmatic Caretaker long ago, when he first because a priest of the Church. Craziness ensued, and he actually ended up helping the Librarian at the time keep a horrible cursed object out of the hands of those that would harm his village in Argentina. Jenkins had been involved because of his expertise in magical machinery.
Becoming Pope, he had learned more about the man he had met all those years ago. His faith told him there was more to the world than what he could see. He wished very much he could give this knowledge of the Divine to the world, but understood why he could not. God was good, and the creation of Faith kept the world from pulling itself apart. Most of the time.
"Thank you, Your Holiness," Jenkins said, bowing slightly at the chest. "At the end of the week? I apologize for the short notice, but it is necessary for it to happen soon." Jenkins then realized how that sounded. "Not in a bad, way, please understand."
The Holy Father laughed. "I have seen much worse, my friend."
"I was actually… accidentally exposed to… Nataliam," Jenkins confessed. He could not lie, even by omission, to this man, no matter how embarrassing the situation was. His mother's voice would simply become too loud to bear.
Pope Francis' eyes widened. "I understand, now. You deal with many ancient things, my friend. This is one of the reasons it was banned. It is not God's plan that men and women should be forced together." He looked at Jenkins carefully, both honored to know this virtuous man, and yet concerned. "You are certain the woman understands?"
"Yes. She is wise beyond her years. Though I will warn her about possible… aggression." He looked down, fidgeting slightly in his embarrassment.
"Good," the Pope said simply. "I will arrange for a license from Città del Vaticano, and have you formally listed as a citizen. That should allow the bureaucracy to work smoothly for you both. But, I will need a full Christian name for you, my friend."
Jenkins paused for moment. It had been a long time since he had had to think about names. "Galeas Gerwyn. Please use Galeas Gerwyn Jenkins."
Jenkins came through the Annex's magical door to a waiting Cassandra. "Everything is arranged. We can be married in three days' time." He looked at her closely when he received no reply. She appeared to be more upset than she had been when he left. Was she regretting accepting his proposal?
"Is everything alright?" He asked as gently as he could. Being near her was starting to make his body react in ways that were completely inappropriate. He jammed his fingernails into the palm of his hand to distract himself.
"Would you be willing to…invite my parents?" She asked quietly. Jenkins stared at her. Parents!? What would they say? How could they possibly approve?
"I don't want Dad to walk me down the aisle or anything," Cassie rushed to explain. "He hasn't earned that. But, they're the only family I have. Could I at least invite them, even if they won't come? Or even worse, if they come and try to cause problems?"
"You are welcome to invite anyone you wish," Jenkins tried to say convincingly. "But the wedding will be in Vatican City. That's the only way my "connection" can make the paperwork realistic. If you gave them tickets tomorrow, would they use them?" There was no way they could use the magic door for people who had no idea magic existed.
"I have no idea. I at least want to try," she said. And then asked, "Why Vatican City?"
"Our officiant is Pope Francis," Jenkins made a small smirk as Cassie gasped. He could still impress.
Jenkins looked down at her sweet face. "May I kiss you goodnight?" he asked a bit fearfully, unsure if he was overstepping. Cassie looked at him for a few seconds, and then nodded her head, her eyes wide.
He bent forward and curled his hand to the nap of her neck. Her hair was so thick and soft. He brought his lips to hers slowly, hesitantly, not wanting to scare her, and afraid she would recoil in horror, finally realizing what she had gotten herself into.
But there was no recoil, no tenseness. She was pliant against him, leaning into him, parting her lips for him. He was overwhelmed – he had never kissed a woman on the lips before. Nothing had ever felt this way, nothing had ever felt this right.
He pulled back reluctantly, not trusting himself any longer. Cassie still had her eyes closed, her lips still slightly parted, the pleasure she obviously felt in this kiss still lingering.
She opened her eyes, and then gave him a brilliant smile. It was so lovely, it made him smile in return. Perhaps, just perhaps, this wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.
Silently, Jenkins spun up Cassie's apartment door, and she walked through, but not before giving his hand a final squeeze. Jenkins was sure he would get little sleep tonight.
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The next morning, Jenkins spoke to Charlene, who arranged the tickets for Cassie's parents within an hour. She had also arranged a rental car in Pittsburg for them, as it would probably look a bit strange if Cassie and Jenkins just showed up at her parents' door with no transportation.
"Are you ready?" Jenkins asked her gently as he powered up the Annex's magical door. Cassie stood there, shifting from one foot to the other.
"I haven't seen them in over a year. I email them, sometimes I call, but their disappointment is hard to take, most of the time," she almost whispered, her eyes wide with memories.
"We needn't stay long," he reassured her. "There will be no discussion. I will not allow them to berate you."
She looked up at him. "Thank you for coming with me. I know this can't be easy for you." She had noticed that he had died his hair slightly, lessening the grey. While she adored his hair, she knew it would make things easier with her parents if they could fake his age a bit more. Her eyes stung with his thoughtfulness.
Jenkins opened the door and took her hand, placing it in the crook of his arm. "I would never make you do this alone," he said, his voice low, almost husky with emotion.
Cassie looked at him seriously. For the first time in her life, she knew what it was like to have a true life-partner. To know that someone has your back no matter what. To be in love.
She looked at the door, determined. Jenkins took that as the signal to open the door.