A/N: I'm so sorry for the delay! It was Spring Break, I got the crud after Spring Break, and this chapter was complicated to write. I hope I haven't messed anything up too badly. Please let me know what you think, especially about believability! I may have to add/change the details later if things don't work out well, but here we go!

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Jenkins' looked over at her. He felt like he was going to burst. There was so much he wanted to say, and he was certain he was going to completely cock it up.

"Could we, perhaps, go for a walk?" He sounded so calm, but his eyes were pleading with her.

"Sure," she consented. Whatever he needed to tell her would probably be easier than feeling trapped with her in the room.

The smell of the flowers growing around the castle put Cassie at ease as they walked in silence. These smells reminded her of the good times in her mother's garden, as she listed the health benefits of the planets around them. Her mother had always liked it when she could tell them things like that.

They came up to a magnificent bush of gardenias. "There are many things I need to tell you," Jenkins finally said. Cassandra turned to look at him. "But I must apologize first. For my…." here he paused, and closed his eyes in acute embarrassment as he looked away, "behavior this morning."

Cassie blinked, and opened her mouth, only to close it again. She was so surprised – this was not what she was expecting.

"I don't know what you mean?"

Jenkins looked at her oddly. "I do not believe the term "fuck" is one that is normally appropriate to use while making love. I assume that's why you left the bed so quickly."

"No, of course not!" she said quickly, while processing what he said. Love….

"Then…may I ask why?" he asked. Cassie was still trying to work through the fact that he thought they had made love. It was such an old fashioned term.

But Jenkins took her silence for something else. "I understand you may not wish to... confide in me."

"No, it's not that," she said, finding her voice. "Our ages might be an obstacle, but only because we both have experiences… that aren't pleasant. I'm not used to telling anyone how I feel, simply because there's never been anyone to tell. You've been alone, but I know you probably feel like I'm too young to be your confidant." She looked up at him expectantly. She would file the "making love" comment away for now.

Jenkins stared at her for moment, and then looked away. He jammed his hands in his pockets, clearly trying to collect himself.

"It is… humiliating… to not be in control." He turned his body away from her, his voice tightly controlled. Cassie waited in silence.

"This...condition... It doesn't allow me any control at all. It doesn't matter what I want, what I think is appropriate, how I would wish to behave, nothing. It is… demeaning…dishonorable."

She saw him clench his fists. "I want to want you…honorably." He raised his face to the sky, trying desperately to keep his dignity. "I was raised by a Code, a guide of behavior. I want to do right by you, but this doesn't even allow me that. I can't even decide to want you, it's decided for me."

He sighed in frustration, rubbing his hand over his eyes wearily. "There doesn't seem to be words adequate to describe how it feels." He half-turned to look at her.

"You get to say anything you want to…when we make love. When we're alone, you get to do and say whatever you want… or whatever the Nataliam makes you. That's not bad, and I don't want you to be embarrassed by it," Cassie said quietly but firmly. Jenikins turned to fully look at her, surprise on his face.

"And I only ran to the bathroom to clean up, not because I was upset or disgusted," she finished.

"But…" Jenkins frowned, "then why did you speak to Col. Baird about it this morning?"

"Oh!" Cassie realized what he probably thought he had seen. "No, Eve just wanted to make sure I was okay, because we were both acting so awkward. I didn't tell her anything." She looked into his eyes. "I would never betray you like that."

Jenkins sighed with relief. And then a hint of a smile. "Thank you. But we are both a bit…preposterous, don't you agree?"

Cassie grinned. "Yes. The situation is pretty ridiculous. But if we talk, if we always talk, we should be okay, yeah?"

Her statement remind Jenkins that there was more to say. He cleared his throat. "Yes, I agree. Which is why I need to tell you something else."

Cassie looked at him expectantly, turning her head slightly to the side. Jenkins drank in the sight. He was just learning about the beguiling creature in front of him. "You never did ask me what I meant when I told you Dulaque was hard to kill, when you threw him out of that airplane," Jenkins smiled at the thought, "though you didn't seem too terribly surprised when he walked in on our wedding."

"No, I suppose I wasn't," she said, thinking about it. She knew she needed to tell him about her magic, though.

But she didn't get a chance, as Jenkins continued, "Have you read the Mabinogion?" She shook her head. "It's actually a fairly faithful account of my family's history. The children of Llyr," he said wistfully, remembering a past that was so much longer ago than his friendship with Arthur. "There's a reason that Dulaque didn't die." He looked at her, his eyes tired but cautious. "He's the child of a god."

"A god?" Cassie said, scrunching up her nose. "Oh!" she said, making connections that had just been waiting for the right input. "Oh! That makes so much sense! That's where the lay lines come from!"

"In a simple way, yes," Jenkins sighed, trying to find the right words. She clearly hadn't yet made the final connection. "The universe itself can be seen as an extension of the will of consciousness. Some of them put themselves into galaxy-making. Some into planets. Some walk among us, their consciousness becoming corporeal from time to time, allowing them to take human form, creating new life. That's Dulaque."

Cassie looked at Jenkins intently, seeing the patterns, willing herself to understand. "So… your mother was fully human, but your father is the son of a god and another human?" Jenkins nodded slowly, letting her work through it.

"So… what does that make you?"

"Something that hasn't been seen since the fall of the Egyptian Empire. I age, slowly, but entropy will catch up to me, eventually. I cannot be killed, but I can die. Somehow. Puck the Fae told me so. "Semi-immortal" is a good way to describe me." He sighed even heavier now, fidgeting with his tie nervously.

"But?" Cassie prodded. She could tell he was working himself up to tell her something important.

"Our child. I don't know how our child will be viewed. Llyr himself might be pleased, might bless the child with my brand of immortality, or could possibly even not be pleased. It's an unknown that I needed to tell you." Thank goodness she doesn't have actual magical abilities, he thought to himself. She really wouldn't want to know what would happen then.

"I have something I need to tell you, too," Cassandra drew herself up straight.

"I'm Merlin."

Jenkins could only stare.