a/n: Special thanks to zenny (zennywrites on tumblr) for giving me some tips/ideas for this chapter. Also, feel free to follow me on tumblr for updates/requests/or just general conversation (user is loving-lucissa or you can use the link on my profile page)
Lucius couldn't help but feel like he would rather be anywhere else than right here. He had been standing in his father's office standing next to Abraxas, for what felt like hours, not at all listening to him talk to Mr Abbott, who was sitting across from them. Poor Sylvia was seated next to her father, looking quite apathetic for someone who was being talked about as if she were nothing more than a brood mare being sold at auction.
For a moment, he thought maybe he should be paying more attention. After all, the entirety of today's conversation had been about the terms of his betrothal, but Lucius couldn't bring himself to consider the reality of this future. Instead, he decided to let his thoughts drift to where he would be right now, had things went as planned with Narcissa.
He picked a spot on his father's desk and just stared at it, waiting for the voices around him to fade into nothing. He thought of what his son would look like. A little boy with short blonde hair and steel gray eyes. Almost an exact copy of him, but with Narcissa's cute little nose and pointed jaw.
He found himself in his private potions lab in the basement of the manor, a cauldron bubbling in front of him and a miniature version of himself standing beside him. The little boy was standing on his tiptoes, trying to get a better look at what was happening on the table.
"Daddy, what are you doing?" the child asked, his wide, curious eyes trying to see everything that his father was doing.
Lucius chuckled, looking down at his son, desperately wanting to ruffle his hair, but instead, kept his hands on the task in front of him, "I'm taking out the eyes of these beetles."
"Why?" the boy asked, flashing his big eyes up to meet Lucius'.
"Because they're an ingredient in this potion that Mummy asked me to make," Lucius answered, continuing to carefully cut out each tiny bug eye.
"Ingredient?" his son pronounced slowly, making sure he said the word correctly.
He glanced down at the boy again, pride beginning to swell in his heart, "Mhmm, an ingredient is like a piece of a puzzle. Just like we need all the pieces of the puzzle to see the picture, we need all the ingredients of the potion so that it can work."
The little boy seemed to think on this before tugging on his fathers robes, "I want to help make Mummy's potion!"
"Alright, alright," Lucius laughed, quickly separating the beetles and sliding the used bodies into the garbage before reaching down to pick up the small boy, "go ahead and scoop up those eyeballs and throw them in the cauldron…carefully."
His attention was dragged back to the present when he briefly heard his name come up in conversation, but decided just to try to drift off again instead of actively listening to what deals were happening. Trying to get drawn back into his daydreams, he tried to think of what his daughter would look like. After all, he and Narcissa had never gotten to learn the gender of their sweet little angel before they were taken from them. He liked to think that his daughter would look and act exactly like Narcissa, but maybe with his eyes.
"Daddy!" a little blonde girl yelled, running into his office, looking slightly upset about something.
"What's the matter, princess?" he asked, scooping the tiny blonde up and sitting her on his lap.
She let out a small huff, "Mummy's not home and I wanted to do some braids."
"Do some braids?" he questioned, giving her a confused look, "Do you want Daddy to braid your hair?"
"No, Daddy," the little girl whined, "I want to do braids."
Lucius just looked at her for a moment, until he finally pieced together what she wanted, "Do you want to braid Daddy's hair?"
The little girl just squealed with delight, hopping off her father's lap and turning around to pull on his arm until he was finally sitting on the floor beside his desk and in front of her. He could only laugh as the little girl set to work, pulling and twisting his air in every which way. Truthfully, he would do anything to make his little girl smile, the same smile she seemed to inherit from her mother.
"Perhaps we should leave the young couple to get to know each other a bit better? No need to bore them with all the ugly business talk," Mr Abbott suggested, looking across at Abraxas for confirmation.
Abraxas glanced to his left, noticing the vacant, yet familiar look on his son's face. With an annoyed expression, he loudly cleared his throat to get the young blonde's attention, "Lucius, why don't you be a gentleman and show Miss Abbott around our gardens."
Lucius, shaken from his thoughts, made his way to the door without so much as a nod of acknowledgement to his father. Sylvia rose instantly from her chair and stood there for a moment, most likely wanting for an arm Lucius was not going to offer her, but as the Malfoy heir passed, she was quick to fall into line behind him.
Once they were outside, Lucius started down the garden path, not bothering to slow his pace as one would do on a romantic walk. Sylvia was struggling to keep up with his long strides, but she was determined to make something out of this forced interaction.
"Do you walk here often?" she asked, hiking up her skirts to keep up with him.
"No," he answered dismissively, clearly not wanting to talk to her.
Sylvia paused, only for a second, shocked by his response, before jogging to meet him again, "So…what do you like to do?"
Lucius abruptly stopped walking, causing Sylvia to slam into the back of him and fall to the ground at his feet. He turned to look at her, an indifferent look on his face, "Why do you care? I don't have any interest in you so why are you so set on trying to get to know me?"
"I'm not interested in you either," she scoffed, rather annoyed that he hadn't bothered to help her up. She stood, brushing the dirt from her skirt as she continued, "I just figured we should pretend until we can figure out how to get out of this stupid arrangement."
"What?" he asked, swapping his cool demeanor for one of genuine curiosity.
Sylvia looked up from her skirts with a sigh, "Look, I know it's hard for you to believe but not every girl wants to marry you. I'm already taken so I can assure you that I have no desire to become the next Lady Malfoy."
"If you're already in a relationship, why is your father so intent on giving you to me?" he questioned, searching her face for any hint of deception.
She looked him over, almost doing the same thing, "Because my boyfriend is a half-blood." She then lowered her voice to a whisper, talking more to herself then to him, "My father would never allow me to marry Charlie."
Lucius racked his brain for a minute, "Charlie Nesbitt? The Ravenclaw?"
"He's a good man," she said defensively, deciding to walk further into the garden to distance herself from his opinions of her lover, causing Lucius to catch up to her.
"I don't doubt that," he acknowledged as he walked beside her, "Do you love him?"
Sylvia turned her head to regard him for a moment before turning her attention back to the path ahead of her and, "I do."
"And does he love you?"
She kept her eyes ahead, but nodded as she pushed her dark hair behind her ear, not bothering to hide the creeping smile on her face.
Lucius gave a slight nod, turning his attention ahead as well, "Then we'll figure out how to end this so you can be with him."
Sylvia stopped walking and turned to look at him, a surprised, yet joyful look on her face, yet still she felt the need to question him, "That's it? You're not going to lecture me on how I'm sullying myself by being with him?"
He shook his head, "I think love is a hard thing to come by and not everyone is so lucky to be able to hold onto it. So if you've found it, I think you would be an idiot to let it go."
"I think you're right," Sylvia said, reaching into her pocket to pull out a folded up, yet wrinkled piece of paper and holding it out for Lucius to take, "I don't think anyone should give up on love."
Lucius took the paper and unfolded it. It looked to be a list of shops in Diagon Alley, written in an oddly familiar handwriting, but they were all crossed out. He looked up at Sylvia, his eyebrows knitted together in confusion, "What is this?"
"I saw Narcissa in Diagon Alley a few days ago. She apparated away before I could talk to her, but she had dropped that–"
"You saw Narcissa?" Lucius interrupted, not caring to hear anything more until that fact was confirmed.
Sylvia nodded, "Yeah, I tried to catch her, but she left before I could get to her. I haven't talked to her in years."
"No one has seen her in years," Lucius whispered, tracing the words on the paper delicately with his finger.
She looked him over, lowering her head slightly to try to get him to look at her, "Do you still love her?"
Lucius scoffed, sarcastically repeating her question, "Do I love her?"
"It's not like you kept it a secret, Lucius. You two were always together…and then you just weren't. What happened?" She asked hesitantly.
"I don't like to think about it," he whispered, still refusing to lift his eyes from the paper.
"But you love her?"
"Yes, okay!" Lucius practically shouted, finally looking up to meet her gaze, "It's been almost 5 years since I've seen or heard from her but I still think about her everyday…it's pathetic, isn't it?"
"I don't think so," she assured, taking a few steps towards him and laying a comforting hand on his shoulder, "I think if you truly love someone, you can't just turn it off."
Lucius hummed, "Maybe she still loves me too, then."
"I guess you're going to have to find her to know for sure." Sylvia said, shrugging her shoulders.
He turned his attention back to the paper in his hands, feeling a smile forming on his face. For the first time, in what felt like forever, he finally had hope. He brought the paper to his chest, cradling it with everything he had in him. He couldn't stop his mind from thinking about everything that could be if he found Narcissa. Maybe he would finally get some closure on his child's death. Maybe he could finally have the future he spent every waking moment thinking about; the perfect wife, the perfect children, the perfect family. Everything felt so close, all he had to do was find her.