"Look, Mr. Turbo, I understand your current meds are keeping you stabilized. What I'm offering is a chance to get beyond that. A chance to actually get better. That's not something any other drug on the market can do for you at this time. I just... no... I understand, but... will you please just come in tomorrow afternoon? I can't do it today. I'm already off and on my way out. But tomorrow... hello? Mr. Turbo? Are you there? Hello?" Will shoved the phone in his pocket angrily. "Damn it!" He had been trying to fill this clinical trial for the last few months now, but people were so scared of coming to the hospital that they weren't even willing to consider starting up a new treatment. Let alone an experimental one that would require them to check in regularly. The issue was that it was a good drug. Will was excited about its potential, but no one would ever know what that potential was if it never got past this trial phase.
He was so lost in thought that he didn't even notice the kid running towards him until he was right there. "Excuse me, are you a doctor?" He asked out of breath.
"I am." Will replied, looking him over quickly. "Are you hurt?"
"I'm fine." The boy answered quickly. But my friend fell through the ice on the lake and a man went after him. It's been a while though and neither of them have come up."
Will pulled out his phone and immediately dialed 911. "Show me where they are." He told the boy as he followed. Then the 911 operator answered. "Hi, I'm Dr. Will Halstead from Gaffney Chicago Medical Center. I'm with a young boy who just told me his friend fell in a frozen lake and a man jumped in to save him, but neither have come back up. We probably need rescue and a couple ambulances. I'm headed there with the boy now." He explained quickly as he walked. "I guess the lake closest to Med. the kid ran here, so it can't be too far." Will wasn't entirely sure where they were headed, but he knew the best thing would be to have help at least on their way.
As they approached the river Will caught sight of something on the ground reflecting light. There was still no sign of a child or a man in the water, but the mysterious item had an heir of familiarity. As he got closer, he recognized it.
"Was the man who jumped in a police officer?" He asked the boy.
"He didn't say." The boy replied. "He tossed that stuff on the ground before he jumped in though."
Will nodded and started looking through it. There was nothing to identify the officer, but just knowing what they did made Will even more anxious to find them.
It felt like way too long, but eventually squad 3 showed up followed by ambulance 61 and another ambulance.
Kelly jumped out of the truck first, followed closely behind by Cruz, Capp, and Tony. "Hey Will." He greeted as he and his guys began to suit up for their dive.
"Lieutenant." Will said politely before casually coming up beside him. He handed over the badge and Kelly's eyes got wide.
"It's not..."
"I don't know." Will confessed. "But you gotta find them, quick."
Kelly nodded and motioned for his men to follow him to the lake. As they set everything up, the boy came back to Will.
"They're dead by now, right?" He sounded terrified.
"What?" Will was shocked to hear the question coming from someone so young."
"They've been under there so long. They're probably drowned, or frozen, or both." He explained.
Will squatted down so he was at eye level with the kid. "You know, we have a rule in the hospital that no one is dead until they're warm and dead. When you get really cold, it protects your heart and brain and other organs in a way that wouldn't happen in warm water. As long as they're cold, there's a chance we can still save them." He wasn't sure if the boy totally followed, but it seemed to relieve him at least for the time being.
They sat together and watched as the rescue squad set up their station and sent Kelly and Cruz into the icy water. They only searched for a couple minutes before re-emerging, each with a body. Cruz had the bigger one and Kelly had the smaller, but it was impossible to make out faces from where they were.
The paramedics were waiting with gurneys and warming blankets, heat already on in the ambos.
Will just bounced around in place and waited.
The little boy was out first, and the second ambulance took him. "Do you need help?" Will called from his spot, hoping they'd say no.
"We got this doc. Wait for the second victim." One medic said, as Will let out a sigh of relief.
Brett and Mackie waited as they carried the second man to the stretcher. Immediately Will was at his side. He didn't recognize the frozen, pallor face at first. Until he did, and his heart sunk. He turned to Kelly and Cruz. They both had the same sympathetic look on their faces.
"It's Jay." Will said softly, as if it hadn't quite processed yet. "Shit!" He suddenly exclaimed. "Jay!" He checked for a pulse while the girls dried him off enough to get the monitors on.
"He has a pulse, but it's weak." He announced. He pulled his stethoscope off his neck and quickly listened to his brother's lung sounds. "He's drowning. I need suction. Roll him on his side."
Mackie grabbed the suction while Brett continued to attach the monitors. Meanwhile squad was helping roll him so Will could pound on his back.
Eventually he started to cough up water. Mackie stuck the suction into his mouth and down his throat, helping as much as possibly to clear his airways.
"There ya go, Jay." Will praised. "Just get it all out."
"We need to intubate." Brett announced, but Will shot her an angry glance.
"No, you'd have to sedate him at this point, and we aren't doing that." He argued.
"He's still mostly unconscious, Will. He can't protect his airway..."
"He still has water in his lungs."
"Which we can drain better by intubation." She added to her argument.
"Look Sylvie, I respect your opinion and I'm not doubting your abilities. But this is my brother..." Will said fighting back.
"Which is all the more reason for you to step back and let me make the call."
"W..." Jay was trying to speak, but it was interrupted by a fit of coughing instead.
"You're okay, Jay. We got you." Will assured him, rubbing his back.
"Will..." Sylvie began to protest again but Will held up a hand to stop her. "Give me an OPA, BVM and suction. I'll manage his airway. You cut off his wet clothes and start warming him."
Sylvie rolled her eyes but handed Will what he'd asked for and began cutting away the wet clothes.
Will had squad lay Jay back on his back so that he could insert the OPA.
Jay gagged a few times, but Will didn't let that stop him.
"You might want an NPA." Mackie suggested.
But Will shook his head. "I can't suction his lungs as well through an NPA."
"You could suction them really well through an ET tube." Sylvie whispered under her breath, but Will didn't seem to hear.
"Jay, just try and relax for me." Will practically begged his younger brother. "I got you. I won't hurt you. I get that this is uncomfortable, but you're safe. Just hold on." Will once again tried to insert the OPA, again eliciting a gag reflex, but working through it to get the device in place. Then he listened to his lungs for a moment and inserted the suction down into Jay's throat.
This caused Jay to choke and fight. He was too frozen to have any control over his movements though, so his fight was basically pointless.
"I know. Hold on." Will kept saying to him, stroking his cheek with one hand while holding the suction with the other.
Jay coughed, tears now spilling from his red face as Will continued to listen and suction until he was happy with the results. Removing the suction, he had squad quickly roll him back to his side right as he puked all over the snow. The OPA came out as well, but as long as he was conscious Will didn't feel the need to place another one. Instead, he just rubbed Jay's back until he stopped heaving.
Sylvie, who had been wrapping him in warming blankets, took this opportunity to cover his backside and come up over his head.
"Do you guys carry thermometers?" Will asked, feeling his brother's frozen skin even through the blankets.
"No, sorry." Sylvie replied. "Heats on in the Ambo though and I have a bag of warm saline as soon as we can get an IV going."
"His veins may be constructed." Will warned.
"We can do an IO if necessary." She replied.
"He won't like that." Will said simply, not looking up at her.
She grabbed his shoulder and forced him to make eye contact. "We'll do what we have to do." She said confidently.
Will was surprised by her insistence and just nodded in response. "Okay, bud. We're gonna get you warmed up now." Will said to Jay, who was laying eerily motionless on the stretcher.
"C..." Jay whispered, but the word wouldn't come.
"I know." Will whispered, squeezing his shoulder, helping roll him to the rig.
Once they were inside, everything started moving fast. Mackie unwrapped him just long enough to stick heating pads in his armpits and groin, while Sylvie took the opportunity to look for a vein. At one point she thought she had one by his clavicle, but after a couple pokes she announced, "it's too tight."
"I'll get the IO." Mackie offered as Brett wrapped his arm back up and uncovered a leg.
Jay's eyes shot to Will, unable to communicate any other way.
"An IO is just like an IV, except it goes into your bone - usually the shin. It helps get meds in when we can't get access to a vein." Seeing the panic rise in his brothers eyes he added, "it sounds worse than it is. You'll be okay."
The panic didn't subside though, and when he caught a glimpse of the longer needle and drill Will grabbed his hand tightly. "Breathe." He reminded Jay when he noticed his sats dropping. "Can you get him on a NRB first?" He asked.
Brett nodded to Mackie who connected the non-rebreather mask to the oxygen tank.
Jay squirmed slightly when she tried to place it on his face, but Will was right there. "It's just oxygen." He promised.
Soon after placing the mask his sats went back up, allowing them all to breathe a sigh of relief.
However, that relief went away the second Jay felt the alcohol swab hit his skin.
Will lightly rubbed his thumb back and forth over his brothers icy hands. It really was unnerving just how cold he really was, and Will was just thankful he was still conscious. The IO line would be a hell of a lot easier if he wasn't, but he'd rather talk him through that then worry about him never waking up again.
"It'll be quick." Will assured him.
Jay just closed his eyes tight.
At the sound of the drill starting up, Jay's heart rate spiked as well. Brett looked to Will who motioned for her to hurry up. It took all of 5 seconds for the needle to be in, and Jay was thankful for that.
"Good job." Will whispered to him.
"This next part can hurt a little bit." Sylvie warned as she picked up a syringe.
"It's lidocaine." Will explained. "Pushing fluid into the bone can be painful, so we try to numb it as much as we can ahead of time. It's not another needle though."
Again, Jay allowed his eyes to slide closed, that is, until he felt the medication being pushed into his bone. It stung, but in a way he'd never experienced before. He gasped as his eyes shot open again.
Will laid a hand on his chest to keep him still. "It'll pass." He promised. "Almost done."
Finally, the stinging subsided, and Jay took a few shaky breaths. Then came the fun part. If the lidocaine was supposed to make the fluid hurt less, he didn't want to know what it would be like without. Because the level of pain he was experiencing now was already almost more than he could tolerate. A small whimper escaped his lips, letting everyone know it was bad.
"Slow the flow." Mackie suggested, and Sylvie obliged.
Jay groaned. It felt like his bone was expanding - which it shouldn't be doing - and it would soon explode.
"Any better?" Will asked gently.
Jay just shook his head slightly, afraid to cause any movement at all.
"I can stop it and try more lido." Sylvie offered.
"Pl...se..." Jay begged though almost inaudible.
But Will shook his head. "The warm saline is more important right now. Once he starts shivering, we can work on pain control. Right now, our number one focus is getting him warm."
Jay squeezed Will's hand as tightly as he could - which wasn't all that tightly, but it did the job and got Will's attention. A tear slid down his cheek and Will wiped it away, cupping his cold face with his warm hands for a moment.
"I am so sorry, man. I know it hurts, and I promise to do everything I can about that as soon as you're warmer. But right now, you're so cold that you're not even shivering. That means your body is trying to shut down, and I can't let that happen. So, I need you to be tough. Pull from your Ranger training, boot camp, the police academy, whatever you need to pull from. You can deal with this pain for a little longer to save your life. Right?"
Jay sighed and closed his eyes. That was his way of consenting to this continued torture.
Sylvie continued to push fluids while Mackie crawled into the front to start driving the short distance back to Med.
Will just held Jay's hand, watching the monitors carefully for the slightest changes.
A moment later they were parking in the ambulance bay and Jay was being unloaded.
Will continued to hold onto his hand, forcing himself to remain big brother and not jump into being the doctor right now.
"What happened?" Natalie asked as she joined Will, walking beside the stretcher.
"He jumped in a frozen lake to save a kid. Moderate to severe hypothermia. He's got warm saline going through an IO line." Sylvie continued to rattle off stats to the doctor while Will focused on Jay.
"You're okay." He mouthed silently.
Jay continued to remain motionless.
As soon as they were in the room and had transferred him to a bed, the medics left and were replaced by April and Monique.
They started hooking him up to their monitors while Natalie unwrapped him to do a quick head to toe check for any frostbite or other dead tissue. Thankfully there didn't appear to be any.
"Monique, can you get a temp? April, set me up for a femoral line. I want to get the IO out as soon as possible so it doesn't risk infection." Natalie requested.
Both nurses nodded as they turned to get what they needed.
"Detective Halstead, can you roll on to your side for a second?" Monique asked, holding the thermometer.
"Wh..." Jay looked between her and Will, and Will tried his best not to start laughing. Only Jay would be worried about getting his temperature taken rectally while he was already laying completely naked in front of everyone anyway.
"Internal temps are more accurate." Will explained, somehow maintaining a certain level of professionalism that he's never really shown with his brother before.
Jay opened his mouth to try and object, but before he could do so he felt Will grab his shoulder and leg on the opposite side and pull him towards him so that his back was to the nurse. Then he carefully bent Jay's knees towards his chest, making things a little easier.
"Okay, I'll be quick." The nurse said before inserting the thermometer.
Jay gripped the bed rail and glared at Will as if somehow this was all his fault.
"Hey, I didn't push you in that lake." Will teased.
It was the most uncomfortable 30 seconds of his life, but eventually the thermometer was removed, and Jay was rolled back on his back. "28." Monique said and Will felt his heart stop for a moment.
He looked down at Jay who didn't seem to process that information at all. "Celsius." He explained. "It's about. 82.4 in Fahrenheit."
Jay's eyes just slid closed again and it took everything in Will not to shake him or pull him into a warm embrace. Anything to warm him up faster.
Monique stepped away while April approached with a sterile cloth. "Just to cover you a little." She said, draping it over his area before splashing his inner thigh with iodine.
As she worked there, Will and Monique did their best to cover the rest of his body in blankets.
Natalie worked quickly to start the femoral line, and Jay didn't even seem to notice. This did nothing to ease Will's mind.
"We need to measure urine output." Natalie added in before changing out her gloves and going to check Jay's pupils.
"Got it." April volunteered, grabbing a catheterization kit. "Jay, do you need me to go over with you what I'm about to do?" She asked, resting a hand on his leg.
Jay didn't respond so Will shook his head. "He won't understand right now anyway." He replied.
April nodded sympathetically and began the procedure. Will forced himself to focus on Natalie and what she was doing.
"Are his pupils dilated?" He asked.
"Yeah." Natalie replied. "Reactive to light, but sluggish. And I'm worried about his heart rhythm."
Will checked the EKG and nodded. "It may even out as he warms up."
Natalie nodded. "Yeah, it's not dangerous yet. Just abnormal. I'll leave it for now, but if it gets worse, I may have to cardiovert."
"Yeah." Will agreed, lightly stroking Jay's hair out of his face.
"Will, we got him. Okay?" Natalie whispered to her co-worker. "We'll get him back to you."
Will sniffled as tears built up in his eyes.
"I need to go check on another patient, but I'll be back. He needs temperature checks every 10 minutes. Keep running warm fluids and get heat packs on him. Anything changes, good or bad, I want to know immediately."
April and Monique nodded.
Monique grabbed the heat packs and began tucking them in between the blankets and his skin while April made sure the femoral line and catheter were working properly. When they finished, April and Monique set timers to go off in 20 minutes. If one was busy, the other would do the temp check.
"Can I get you anything?" April asked Will.
Will just shook his head, not taking his eyes off Jay. So, April pulled up a chair right beside the bed and lightly pushed Will into it.
"He's not unconscious." April reminded him. "Just tired. It'll get better."
Will just sighed. He knew that. He knew the good and bad. He knew that so far Jay wasn't dying now. But he also knew he was right on the verge of severe hypothermia, which could quickly lead to death.
After the nurses left, Will got up and grabbed some socks and a beanie. He slid both onto Jay before again tucking him in tightly, verifying that no cold air could get through. He felt the saline bag. It was still warm. He checked the room thermostat. It was already at 70, but he bumped it up to 75 to be safe. He'd be sweating soon, but it didn't matter. Once he was sure Jay was as warm as he possibly could be, he sat back down beside him and laid his head on the bed next to the spot that his hand would be if it weren't buried under a mountain of blankets.
"Dr. Halstead." A voice said from the doorway.
Will looked up, annoyed by the interruption. "Yeah Leah?"
"There's someone here to see Jay." She replied.
"No visitors." He reminded the woman. "Covid restrictions."
"I know," she insisted, "but he asked that you at least come out and talk to him."
Will stared at her as if he were shocked she would even push the issue at all.
"It's Sargent Hank Voight." She spit out before quickly walking away back to her post.
Will rolled his eyes and looked down at Jay. "I'll be right back. Your boss is here." He walked out and motioned for Voight to come to him. Will was not willing to be too far from Jay, just in case.
"Will, how is he?" Hank asked.
"He's pretty cold." Will replied, trying to be nice. "He's in and out of consciousness. His reflexes suck. He hasn't said a full word since they pulled him from the lake."
"Is he gonna recover?" The man asked, skipping over the medical explanation, and getting to the point of what he actually wanted to know.
Will nodded slowly, but sort of shrugged. "I've seen people come back from worse." He replied. "I've also seen them die from less severe temperatures than he's at. It's hard to say right now." He swallowed the lump in his throat, and watched Hank do the same.
"Keep me posted." He said. "I know I can't stay in here, but I'm gonna go sit in my car and wait to hear something."
The gesture touched Will's heart. He'd never really seen the fatherly side of Voight, but he'd heard about it. Jay always explained it that the guy was tough, but only because he cared more than anyone. He'd lost too many people, and he refused to lose anymore. That made Will feel better, knowing someone like that had his baby brothers back.
"The others are on their way." Hank added, almost as if he could read Will's mind. "They'll wait with me."
Will nodded. "Thanks. That'll mean a lot to Jay to know you were all here."
"Of course." He said before patting Will's shoulder and heading back out.
Will quickly returned to Jay's side and laid his head in the same position he'd been in. He wasn't sure how long he'd been there when he was once again interrupted. This time by April.
"20 minutes already?" He asked.
She nodded. "Is he sleeping?"
Will lightly shook Jay's shoulder, then tried a sternum rub. "Jay? Can you hear me?"
Jay opened his eyes and stared at his brother.
"We need to check your temperature again." Will explained. "So, I'll roll you towards me and April will get it. Understand?"
No real response. Just stares.
Will rolled him anyway and got him into position while April did her part.
She must have noticed the fear in his eyes, because again she spoke up. "He opened his eyes. He responded to pain."
"He didn't talk. He stared right through me like he didn't even know who I was." Will pointed out.
April nodded. "I know, and that sucks. But Jay's tough. He's going to get through this. He was a hero today, and this isn't how heroes go out. At least not at Med."
Will smiled and then suddenly remembered. "I'm an ass." He blurted out. "How's the kid?"
April laughed. "You're not an ass. You're a worried brother. The kid is doing great. He started shivering about 30 minutes ago so we're on the right track. He'd never have survived if Jay hadn't been walking by."
Will laid a hand on Jay's head and rubbed the back of his neck. "Hear that, man? That kid's alive because of you. So, you need to hurry up and get better so he can thank you."
"He's getting there." April said, removing the thermometer. "29."
"That's it, bud." Will praised. "You got this. A little more and we'll both be breathing easier."
April smiled. "I'll go let Natalie know."
Even though he knew Natalie was on her way, Will couldn't help himself. He shined his light into Jay's eyes and stared intently for any change from last time.
"Trying to steal my patient?" Natalie teased as she snuck in behind him.
Will jumped and put his light away. "Nope."
She laughed and pulled her own light out. "April said he gained a degree."
"Yeah." Will verified. "His pupils are still dilated though."
"They are, but he's still pretty cold. Blood pressure and heart rate have gone up slightly, but not much. I'm still seeing the abnormal rhythm, but it doesn't look any different than before. Has he said anything?"
Will just shook his head.
"That's okay." Natalie reminded him. "This takes time. He's making progress in his own time. As long as he keeps making progress, we can wait."
Will smiled, feeling Jay's forehead with the back of his hand. His skin was still so cold. The blue tint really fit. "Hey, I heard the kid is doing better." Will added and Natalie smiled.
"Much better." Then she left.
Again, Will did his routine of making sure Jay was fully tucked in before taking his seat.
He rested his head back on the bed and allowed himself to be lulled to sleep by the steady - yet still too slow - heart monitor.
He wasn't exactly sure how much time had passed. He heard at least two more temperature checks happen, and the numbers were steadily going up. But besides that, he mainly kept his eyes closed.
"Will?" A soft voice said his name. Had it been anyone else, Will probably wouldn't have even heard it. But he knew this voice and would hear it anywhere.
"Jay." He smiled, immediately standing and stroking his brother's cheek. It was just about the only part of him that wasn't completely covered in blankets. "Hey. How are you feeling?"
Jay slowly scanned the room and furrowed his brow. "What happened?"
Knowing the response, he was sure to get, Will took a seat on the bed and held what he was pretty sure were Jay's hands. "You forgot you weren't actually a superhuman and jumped into a frozen lake." He teased.
"The boy." Jay said as it came back to him. "Is he okay?" He tried to sit up, but his muscles were still too stiff and uncoordinated for that movement.
"Hey hey hey, hold on." Will said quickly. "The boy is doing really well. He's recovering faster than you are actually."
This made Jay smile a goofy lopsided smile.
Will smiled back and looked up at the monitors. His blood pressure and heart rate were still lower than they should be. But awake and talking was good. "Now, back to my original question..." Will reminded. "How are you feeling?"
"Weird." He said simply. "Cold."
"I would think so." Will laughed, "when you first got here you were only around 82 degrees."
"What now?" Jay asked.
"At last check you were about 88. They should be back any minute to check again." Will replied.
"Okay."
He was speaking in short, simple words. But he was awake and forming words. Like Natalie said earlier, as long as he's progressing, we can wait.
As if on clockwork, both Natalie and April walked into the room.
"Hey, you're awake." Natalie exclaimed, flashing a bright smile. "How are you feeling?"
"Weird." Jay repeated for her. "Hurts." He added.
Natalie cocked her head to the side. "Where does it hurt?" She asked.
"Head. Chest. Legs. All of it."
"Did this just start?" Will asked, confused as to why it wasn't mentioned earlier.
"Legs just started." He replied. "And arms. And stomach."
"Okay, I'm gonna unwrap you really quick so I can check your legs." Natalie said before she and Will began to work together to unwrap him.
It wasn't until all the blankets were off that Jay noticed he wasn't wearing a gown. He clumsily reached for a sheet to cover himself, but his hands wouldn't grasp anything.
Luckily for him, April was a highly observant nurse who immediately saw his embarrassment and pulled the sheet over his lower half.
"Thanks." Jay whispered.
"Of course." She replied with a smile and a warm hand on his shoulder.
Meanwhile, Natalie pressed around on his legs and feet. "Can you feel this?" She asked.
"Ow!" Jay exclaimed. "Yeah. Like pins and needles."
Natalie nodded and covered his legs back up. "Believe it or not, that's a good sign. It means your veins are opening back up and blood flow is returning to your limbs."
"Doesn't feel good." He mumbled.
"Speaking of," Will glanced to April. "We need to get your temp again."
Will expected Jay to remember the drill, but the look on his face told him he definitely did not.
"I'll roll you towards me and April will do it. Should only take like 30 seconds."
"Wait... that's not going in my... Will, come on. Why not my mouth?"
"This is more accurate." Will explained. "Plus, you don't want that thermometer in your mouth. Trust me."
Jay looked at April and Natalie, then back to Will. "But them?" He asked.
Will shrugged. "I guess I can do it, but April already has like 4 other times and she inserted your catheter. So, I don't see any reason for you to be embarrassed at this point."
Jay turned bright red and Natalie smacked him in the shoulder.
"Thank you." April said from her spot across from them. "Will, you can leave if you're just going to make things worse." She was joking, but there was a little truth in every joke.
"Hey, I'm not going anywhere." Will insisted. "Sorry for making you feel uncomfortable, man."
April pulled the privacy curtain, so it was just her and Jay on the inside. She laid a hand on his shoulder and whispered, "I know it seems weird to you. And I totally respect that. This isn't something you do every day. But it is something I do every day. So, trust me when I tell you, there's nothing to be scared of or embarrassed about. It'll be quick and painless."
Jay eyed her skeptically.
She smiled. "Well, mostly painless. You need me to help you roll over?"
Jay shook his head, but after about 15 seconds of watching him struggle April decided to help anyway.
"Hold on to this." She said, wrapping his hands around the bed rail.
Jay did as he was told.
"Take some slow deep breaths for me." April coached. "It's a lot easier when you're not all tensed up."
Jay nodded and did his best to relax his body.
"Good." April commented. "Okay, here we go. Big breath in."
Jay did as he was told, but involuntarily tensed up again. His hands began shaking uncontrollably and he was no longer able to hold on to the railing. He started to fall back, but April stopped him with one hand, the other still holding the thermometer.
Hearing the commotion, Will opened the curtain and immediately took over holding Jay's trembling body until the thermometer finally beeped.
"32.4" she announced.
"About 90 degrees" Will translated. You are officially entering the mild stage of hypothermia. This is the part where your body starts waking up and you start shivering again. Your vitals should even out a bit and thinking will get clearer. The warmer you get, the smoother your movements will become."
"I... I... I..." he stuttered through chattering teeth.
"Shh." Natalie said kindly. "Just try and rest. Focus on breathing and warming up. There will be plenty of time for talking later." She leaned into Will and whispered, "is he in your covid bubble?"
Will just nodded.
Natalie smiled. "Well then Dr. Halstead, you know what to do."
She and April left the room while Will finished turning his brother into a burrito again. Then, when he was sure they had enough time that no one would bother them, he crawled up in the bed next to Jay and wrapped his arms around him.
"What... you d... d... do...ing?" Jay asked.
"Body heat." Will said plainly as if it should be obvious.
For a moment Jay's pride tried to take over, but soon the cold won out and he relaxed into the warm embrace.
"I'm proud of you, ya know." Will whispered into the top of Jay's head.
"F...f...rrrr... bbbbbeinnnnng d...d...dummmmmb?" Jay asked.
Will smiled. "You were pretty dumb." He admitted. "You've lived here your whole life. You know better than to jump into a frozen lake under any circumstances."
"I... jjjjjjjjjj..."
"Shhhh" Will interrupted, noting how hard it was for him to speak. "But I've known you your whole life. I'd be stupid to expect you not to jump in, risk it all, and save the kid. You are a born hero." Will said. "And I'm so proud to be your brother."
They held onto each other for a while before Will felt something wet land on his arm. "Are you crying?" He asked, pushing away just enough to see the tears sliding down Jay's face.
Jay opened his mouth to speak, but he was shivering so violently that only a low sob came out.
Will just held him closer and tighter. "Are you in pain?" He asked.
Jay nodded.
"Is that why you're crying?"
This time he shook his head, 'no.'
"Are you sad?"
No.
"Are you happy?"
No.
"Are you scared?"
Shrug.
"Are you overwhelmed?"
A slow nod.
"Yeah," Will affirmed, rubbing his back. "Yeah, today has been pretty overwhelming. But listen to me." He took Jay's chin and tilted it up to his face. "You are the strongest, toughest, bravest person I've ever met. And sometimes part of being strong, tough and brave is being able to admit you're struggling. Letting people help is the hardest thing for so many people to do. It's something that, as doctors, we're constantly fighting against. It's usually a battle we win. And you wanna know the cool part?"
Jay didn't answer. He knew Will would tell him regardless.
"The cool part is that it never leaves these walls. It doesn't matter if you see these people on the streets or in Molly's or even if they come to your house. What happens within these walls stays within these walls. That means that April, Natalie, Monique, Brett, Mackie, or anyone else that's cared for you so far today, none of them are going to look at you any differently once you leave here. So, if you need to cry or be scared, do it. If you end up in a position that makes you embarrassed or uncomfortable, don't worry about it. Because I promise you, they won't."
Jay nodded and pushed his face into his brother's chest. It wasn't exactly meant to be quite that forceful, but the shivering made controlling his movements quite challenging.
Will just held him though. He didn't mind. After the day they'd had, he was just thankful to have him in his arms.
Hours has passed before Monique, Natalie and April returned.
Jay was still shivering, though it had slowed, and he had managed to fall asleep still wrapped in his big brothers arms.
"Shhh." Will hissed at the women as they walked in.
"I think he's gonna wake up when I check his temp." April teased.
"No more." Jay whined, clearly not asleep anymore.
"See what you did?" Will chastised, though he did it with a smirk.
"I'm sorry, Jay. But we left you alone as long as we can." Natalie said, sanitizing her hands before snapping on a pair of gloves. "You're shivering again, which is good. And it's not nearly as bad as it was a while ago, which is also good. You're probably nearing normal."
"Just need... few more minutes." He stuttered.
Natalie shot him a sympathetic smile. "I'm afraid it's more like a few more hours. You're gonna have to put up with us a few more times before we can move you upstairs to let you rest."
"Upstairs?" Jay looked up at Will. "Whats... up...ssssssttttt..."
Will held his arms tightly. "It's just for a night. You were borderline severely hypothermic. You could have easily died. You need to be monitored for the next 24 hours to be sure everything is working properly."
"Ccccccccan'ttttt yyyyyyyy...ou jjjjjjjjjusttt ccccome over?" He was struggling to speak again, but Will suspected it was more than just the cold causing it now. The heart monitor shot up and everyone noticed.
"Hey, maybe that's a possibility." Will offered, knowing it most likely wasn't. "I'll see what kinds of strings I can pull. But I don't want you worrying about that right now. Right now, we're still just trying to stabilize you."
Jay nodded, still shaking.
"Can they examine you now?" Will asked.
Jay hesitated. "These... walls?"
Will nodded confidently. "Never leaves."
"K."
Will nodded to the women who slowly started unwrapping him.
"Monique, can you check his hands and arms for a good vein? I'm sure he'd be a lot more comfortable without this femoral line." Natalie commented, examining the site to be sure it was still secure.
Monique took a quick look over both arms and finally nodded. "I can get his left hand." She said confidently.
"Okay, you get that going and then I'll remove the femoral. April, you ready for temp check?" Natalie asked.
"Whenever he's ready." She smiled warmly.
Jay sighed and rolled over towards Will.
Will, still sitting on the bed, rubbed light circles on his bare back.
"You bbbbetter not be stttttaring at mmmmmy ass." Jay joked for the first time since all this started.
"Oh, we're way past that, man." Will joked back.
Jay hissed as he felt the thermometer enter his body.
"You okay?" Will asked, a bit more serious.
"Yeah." Jay replied. "Just... surprised me."
"Sorry." April apologized. "I forgot you've been out of it the other times we did this."
"Sssss okay." Jay assured her.
"35" she finally read off.
"95" Will translated. "You're almost out of this."
Jay smiled and reached up to tug on the nasal cannula in his nose, providing him with a little extra oxygen.
"That needs to stay there." Will ordered, pulling his hand away. "You see that number in the corner?"
Jay looked at the screen. "88?"
Will nodded. "That needs to be over 95 before you can take that thing off."
Jay rolled his eyes, and then straightened them out quickly when he felt Natalie moving the sheet aside a bit.
"I'm getting ready to remove this as soon as Monique gets the new one in." She explained.
Monique pulled up a tray and took Jay's hand in her own. She quickly sanitized the area and Jay just stared at her until Will forced his head in the other direction.
"Look at me." He said calmly. "You're good. You're safe. I'm right here."
Jay took a deep breath and nodded.
"Repeat it back to me." Will asked.
"I'm good. I'm safe. You're rrrrrrright here." Jay copied.
"That's right. Now take some slow deep breaths with me. In through your nose. Out through your mouth. In and out. Nice and slow. You got it."
The other women watched as Monique quickly placed the IV and secured it in place. "All done." She said, patting his hand.
Jay lifted his hand and looked it over. Then he looked at the nurse in amazement. "I didn't feel it."
April smiled. "That's high praise for a nurse."
"I had good teachers." Monique blushed.
"Thanks." Jay said, seriously.
"Not a problem, detective." She squeezed his hand once more before leaving and Jay watched her go.
"You want me to switch with her?" April asked. "Let her do temps and all these things?"
This time Jay blushed. "What? Why? No."
Will ruffled his hair and winked at April. Then he whispered to his brother, "as far as I know, she's single."
Jay went to elbow Will, but he didn't have that kind of muscle control yet and instead he just threw himself back against the bed.
"Careful!" Will teased.
Natalie, not paying much attention to the banter, finally spoke up. "I'm ready to pull this line when you are, Jay."
"Does itttttt hurt?" He asked.
"Not too bad. But I have to hold pressure for 20 minutes after to be sure it clots off properly." She explained.
Jay nodded but again looked to Will. "I can hold pressure, Nat. You guys have plenty of other work to do and I'm gonna be here anyway." Will offered.
"Okay, thanks Will." She smiled.
She held some gauze over the site while April coached Jay on taking a few deep breaths with her. Then Natalie pulled it out and the pressure began. She passed it off to Will who immediately leaned into him.
"Ow!" Jay yelped. "Not so hard."
"He needs to press hard, Jay. That's a main artery. Arteries are harder to stop from bleeding. You need consistent, strong pressure." Natalie explained.
"Oh." Jay replied. "Okay. Sorry."
"It's okay." Will smiled.
"Anything you guys need?" April asked.
"No." Jay replied.
"I'm good. Thanks, April." Will added.
"Of course. Let me know if there's anything I can do to help."
She and Natalie walked out together leaving the two brothers alone.
"Hey, while you're down there, you think you could pull that other tube out for me?" Jay asked, referring to the catheter.
"You're gonna be flat on your back for another few hours once I'm done holding pressure." Will explained. "You might want it in."
Jay shook his head. "I can pee in a bucket or something. I don't need this."
Will sighed. "Sorry, man. It's not optional. We need to measure urine output for as long as we're monitoring you."
"Wait..." Jay began. "So even if you took me home..."
"The bag would come with us." Will verified.
"Ugh, what's the point?" Jay asked, dramatically.
Will chuckled. "You ever gonna tell me why you hate hospitals so much?"
"You ever gonna tell me why you love them so much?" Jay countered.
"Oh, that's easy." Will laughed. "I love the excitement, the drama, making fast decisions and literally saving people's lives."
"Well yeah, now." Jay said. "Even when we were younger you were fascinated by medicine though. I don't think any of us actually expected you to become a doctor, but I figured you'd at least become a paramedic or something like that."
"Really?" Will smirked. "I didn't know you noticed that back then."
"I noticed everything you did." Jay assured him, stressing 'everything.'
"Hmm... I mean, I don't really remember how it started. But at some point, the thought entered my mind that doctors were actually just regular people at one time. Then they went to a lot of school and became superheroes. I guess growing up in Canaryville, that was an attractive idea. A poor kid that worked their ass off to learn as much as possible and eventually be able to be a superhero? Who wouldn't want that?"
Jay shrugged. "I never wanted to be a doctor." He pointed out.
"But you absolutely wanted to be a superhero. Jay, you joined the Army. But that wasn't enough. You had to join an elite group within the Army that does even more dangerous and important things. Then you come home, and you spiral until you get into the police academy. That gave you purpose again, and again you needed to be part of an elite group. Being a detective wasn't enough. You had to get shot just to get into Intelligence..."
"Hey, I didn't get shot on purpose." Jay argued.
"The point is..." Will continued, ignoring him, "you needed to be the best hero in your field. And then you jump into a frozen lake in the middle of winter in Chicago while off duty because heroes never take a day off."
Jay smiled.
"And yet again you managed to avoid my original question and get a compliment out of it." Will rolled his eyes at his little brother as he realized what had just happened. At this rate, he would never know why Jay was so afraid of hospitals and needles.
"It's been a long day." Jay yawned. "Just let me have the win."
Hours had passed and Jay had just had what he hoped would be his last "internal" temperature check ever.
"97.5" Will announced proudly, reading the monitor.
"Damn, you didn't even let me try to guess the Fahrenheit reading this time!" Jay complained as he easily rolled himself back on to his back.
"Oh, sorry." Will replied. "I didn't realize you were paying that much attention."
"Is that normal enough to go home?" Jay asked hopefully.
Will sighed and looked to Natalie.
"Jay, I understand you not wanting to be here. I really do. But standard protocol says that we must keep you here no less than 24 hours after stabilization. Technically you're just barely reaching that point."
"No, but..." he looked to Will, panic filled his eyes. "But you can watch me. You can bring whatever I need, and I'll lay in my bed and it'll be exactly the same as the hospital."
"Jay, it's very important that you have specialists on scene to help if anything happens. Will can't do all that. It's not..."
"Get out." Jay said under his breath.
"Jay!" Will scolded.
"I said, get out!" Jay repeated.
Natalie and April nodded, walking out. Will started to follow when Jay stopped him.
"Not you."
Will turned. "Why are you being such an asshole? They've been taking care of you all day and you're treating them like shit, Jay."
"I'm sorry." He said sheepishly. "But I can't stay here. Will, if you don't get me out of here, I'll sign myself out against medical advice. They can't hold me."
"Dammit Jay!" Will groaned, sinking back into the chair with his head in his hands.
"I'm serious, Will." He said firmly. "I will unhook myself from all this shit and walk home if I have to. I am not..."
"Shut up!" Will yelled. "Just shut up and listen to me for once!"
Jay was silent, not used to hearing Will like that. He sounded angry, but also like he was about to start crying.
"You've been pretty out of it for most of the day, so let me catch you up on what's happened. I was on my way out of work when a kid came and told me his friend fell through the ice and a man jumped in after him. Neither had come back up. I followed him to the lake and saw a badge. I called 911. Squad 3 came and got you out. Your lungs were full of ice-cold water. You weren't breathing, your heart was barely beating, for all intents and purposes you were on your way to being dead. But the paramedics worked like crazy to save you, and they did. They got the water out of your lungs and they got you here. Once you got here everyone started working on you. We wrapped you in everything. We couldn't start an IV in your hand in the ambo, so they put an IO into your bone. But those can't stay in too long because of risk of infection, so Nat started a femoral line once we got here. They pumped you full of warm fluids for hours. April catheterized you to make sure you were making urine, because it's very common for people not to be able to do that when they're hypothermic. By the way, you were one of those people. For hours they pumped liters of fluid in, and barely got anything out. I was worried your kidneys were shutting down, but April and Monique kept reminding me at every temperature check that you were slowly warming up and that you would get better. Natalie kept finding anything and everything to celebrate as you were in and out of consciousness. They warmed you, cleaned you, took care of your personal hygiene, talked to you, explained things even if you couldn't understand. They were patient when you were crying, scared, combative, etc. and they took care of you regardless because in this profession that's what we go every single day. We're used to it. I can almost guarantee you that they will not hold your words against you, because they're better than that. But I'm not about to sit back and let my brother treat my colleagues and friends like shit just because he's not getting what he wants. It was one thing when you were unaware. This is different. This is you digging your heels in until you get your way, even if it means throwing all their hard work out the window. You don't care if all your organs suddenly shut down in your sleep. You don't care if your temperature starts to drop again. You don't care about anything besides getting home!"
Jay dropped his head, trying to hide his face.
Will watched, seeing the puddle of tears forming on the white sheet beneath him, waiting for a response. Part of him worried that maybe he was too harsh. He didn't know the reason behind Jay's fear of hospitals. He didn't even know if there was a reason. But at the same time, someone needed to put him in his place and make him realize the seriousness of his situation. So, he stayed quiet and waited for Jay to speak first.
Finally, he did. "I'm sorry." He whispered, sniffling at the same time. "I don't know why I said all that. I'm just..."
"Scared." Will finished, arms crossed across his chest.
Jay looked up and nodded. "I just want to be home. I don't want to be disrespectful or ungrateful. I just don't want to be here. Why can't you just come with me?"
Will sighed and scooted Jay over so he could fit next to him on the bed. "Because your apartment is not a hospital. If you had an injury and needed help getting around or changing a bandage, I could help. If you had the flu and needed someone to check in on you to make sure you weren't getting too sick, I could do that. I can give you oral pain meds. I can take your temperature. I can give you oxygen. I can hook you up to portable monitors. Hell, I could have you on an IV or give you stitches if I really needed to. But none of that is the reason you need to be in the hospital. The reason you need to be here, is because your heart could stop. And me doing CPR is not nearly as helpful as our cardio team treating you and getting it going again. Your kidneys could start failing, and you'd need dialysis as soon as possible to keep them going. You could slip into a coma or have increased intracranial pressure and I wouldn't be able to do anything except call 911 and hope they get to you before permanent damage occurs. Jay, I don't want you to be scared. I'm not trying to torture you. I just really need you alive, and this is the best way to assure that." He put his arm around his little brother's shoulder and pulled him close.
Jay rested his head on Will's shoulder as more tears fell. He was still scared beyond explanation. He still wanted to go home. But he believed Will was trying to do what was best by encouraging him to stay.
"Okay." Jay finally agreed, through a shaky voice.
Will looked down at his trembling hands and held them in his own. "Are you getting cold again?" He asked, concerned.
"No." Jay stuttered. "This... it's just... hard."
Will nodded and squeezed his hands. "Still not ready to talk about it?"
"Not yet."
"That's okay." Will assured him. "I'll be here if you decide you want to."
Jay lifted his head. "You're staying?" He asked.
"Of course, I'm staying." Will replied as if it were a ridiculous question.
"But covid restrictions. No visitors?"
Will smiled. "Just because I can't turn your apartment into your own private hospital doesn't mean there aren't still perks to having your brother be a doctor. I'm not a visitor."
Jay smiled and wrapped his arms around his big brother. It had been a weird day for them both. But just like every other hard day they faced, they faced it together.
Author's Note: I'm so sorry I've been MIA for so long. I really appreciate all the encouraging comments while I was away that kept this story in my mind. I'm hoping to get back to updating regularly, but I know better than to make promises about when exactly I'll update next. I'll do my best though. Let me know what you think and what you would like to see for the rest of the letters. I have some ideas, but I'm ALWAYS open to prompts or suggestions!