T Plus 9 Days
Loud music broke into the room, starting the four men awake.
"Crazy Hand!" shouted Jimmy after recovering his bearings. "Do you mind? We're having a slumber party here."
"Well—party time's over," CH sang out, "and it's time to do your duty."
"Do you know what time it is?" groaned Remy. "It's only five in the morning. They haven't even prepared breakfast yet."
Timmy mumbled something inarticulate.
"All the better time to debrief you, right?" asked CH.
"Debrief? Isn't MH responsible for that?" Rory wanted to know.
"I am the assistant master of ceremonies, and by extension, also your employer," said CH, "so I have every privilege to debrief you as him, 'kay?"
"I—guess that makes sense," said a still-drowsy Timmy.
"Right you are, Timmy!" chirped CH. "I'll give you some time to freshen up, and then you all can meet me in the office!"
With a final smile, CH teleported out.
After exchanging puzzled looks, Jimmy, Timmy, Remy and Rory picked themselves up. One by one, they went into Jimmy's bathroom to gargle with mouthwash, shave, wash their faces and shower. Thirty minutes later, the quartet was attired in suits and striding purposefully toward CH's office.
"Looking good, guys!" said CH when the foursome entered.
"All right, CH," said Timmy. "What's so important that you had to drag us out of bed at five in the morning?"
CH served them some coffee as he spoke. "It involves a certain man in red," he said.
"Mario?" asked Jimmy. "Last I checked, he's settled down."
"But my bro didn't ask you to stop keeping tabs on him, did he?" asked CH.
"No," said the four men.
"What did he do now?" asked Rory.
"It's not about what he did—it's about what he could do next," warned CH.
"How do you know he's planning something?" Remy wanted to know.
"I don't!" CH said cheerfully.
"I…" said Jimmy. "I don't follow. What do you want us to do?"
"I want the four of you to pay him a friendly little visit and persuade him to play nice with our dear MH from now on," cooed CH. "Plain and simple."
The foursome's eyes lit up. They knew exactly what CH was talking about. And frankly, they were still quite steamed from the car incident.
Well—to varying degrees.
"Whoa, whoa—wait a minute," said Timmy, the first to snap himself out of it. "Mario apologized to your brother yesterday. Didn't you hear? They talked it all out over some pizza."
"There comes a time when everyone must answer for their mistakes," CH said, a little ominously, "even a hero like Mario."
CH's words drew Timmy back into his web. "I agree," the young man said finally.
"So—how are we gonna do this?" asked Jimmy, itching for action.
"Lure him into a false sense of security—and then pounce!" instructed CH. "Just like what he did to those poor, defenseless guys five days ago! Karma's a [bleep], and Mario's gonna find out the hard way!"
The four men nodded, their faces set.
CH motioned for them to huddle, and then he began to whisper…
1.1.1
An hour later, the four of them sat in the cafeteria, silently eating their food, their gazes drilled into Mario.
"We'll have to get Luigi and Peach away from him first," said Rory.
"After breakfast, he usually spends some time in his room getting ready," said Jimmy. "We'll strike then."
Remy nodded. "It's about time we had some action."
Timmy said nothing.
"Everything okay, Tim-Tim?" asked Jimmy.
"Do you really think this'll work?" asked Timmy.
"CH is sure it does," said Remy.
"Why choose violence, though?" asked Timmy.
"Mario chose violence," said Rory. "He chose violence when he viciously assaulted those two men, and he chose violence when he took a golf club to MH's car."
"He still apologized," said Timmy.
"It just isn't enough, Timbo," sighed Jimmy. "It just isn't enough."
Timmy's face slowly hardened. "No," he said. "It isn't."
Meanwhile, Luigi tapped Mario on the shoulder. "Those four guys have been staring at you since you sat down," he whispered.
"They've been watching me since I first came to MH," Mario whispered back. "We made up somewhat, but I'm still convinced that there's something he doesn't want me to find out."
"He doesn't want us to find out," Luigi corrected him. "We're in this together, Mario."
"Luigi…" breathed Mario, but the younger bro gave him a look signifying that he wouldn't budge from this.
"I may not agree with what you're doing," said Luigi, "but I want answers about this as much as you. And—I'm not letting you do this alone. If you got hurt…"
"Bro—I don't deserve your help. Not after what I said…"
His voice broke, and Luigi took Mario in his arms. The smaller man was shuddering with sobs, the leftover regret seeping from him.
"You didn't mean it," he said softly. "I knew something was wrong, but—I was more upset at the fact that you wouldn't tell me…"
He breathed shakily, a few tears escaping him, as well.
"And I know why, but still—we're brothers. We have to protect each other, look out for each other."
Mario managed a smile. "We've done that since we were kids," he said.
"And we shouldn't stop now," said Luigi. "I didn't think you should've forgiven MH so easily, especially since he threw THAT in your face, but it's a choice I'll respect. When Falco blew up at me, you advised me against reconciling with him, but we wound up in that elevator and I just—wanted to take the high road. And if I could take the high road with Falco, then I can do the same with MH."
"You're still angry with him," realized Mario.
Luigi nodded. "Why would he do that, why would he say that…?"
"That wasn't him. It was like—he was someone else. But if you do something stupid—something you'll regret, like I did…"
"I won't," swallowed Luigi. "I swear to you, I won't."
Jimmy, Timmy, Remy and Rory also found themselves in tears, moved by the scene they were witnessing. They almost felt awful about the task CH had charged to them.
Almost.
After the four men finished their breakfast and disposed of what was left, they ran to the bathroom to take a tension dump. Finally, it was time.
Their mouths were matching hard lines as they jogged in a single file line toward Mario's room, ignoring the stares from the Smashers around them.
"Is everything all right?" Peach asked when she saw them.
"There's no need for alarm, Princess," Timmy said gently. "Everything's fine."
Peach wasn't convinced as she watched the quartet race up the stairs. She knew exactly where they were headed.
On the next floor, the four men came upon Lauren.
"Is he still in his room?" asked Remy.
"Yeah. Is he in trouble?" asked Lauren, narrowing her eyes.
"No," Jimmy assured her. "We just need to talk to him."
"Wha…?" gasped Lauren as the four continued on.
Meanwhile, Peach was on her cell phone, scrolling down her contact list and selecting the one she was looking for.
"Hey, Mario," she said. "The four guys who've been watching you lately—they're on their way up there. And they don't look happy."
"Thank you. Don't worry."
When they were halfway to Mario's room, the foursome called CH.
"Everything's going according to plan," said Jimmy.
"Excellent," said CH. "If you can, try to avoid the face. We don't want anyone asking questions."
"What if we can't?" asked Rory.
"If you can't, then you can't. I certainly won't blame you for tarnishing his good looks. It'll serve him right for what he did to my brother and the two Steves."
"Roger that," said Remy. Turning to his colleagues, he stated, "Let's do this, boys."
At the door to Mario's room, the quartet paused.
"I've got this," said Timmy before knocking on the door.
"Mario," he said. "You in there?"
"Who is it?" asked Mario.
"Timmy and Jimmy and Remy and Rory. Please, open this door. Master Hand and Crazy Hand's orders."
A pause. Then, the door opened, revealing Mario, dressed and ready for action.
"Will this take long?" the plumber calmly asked.
"No, Mario," said Timmy. "You have our word."
Staring hard at them, Mario moved aside so that the quartet could enter.
Jimmy was the last to enter, closing and locking the door behind him.
Methodically, the four arranged themselves into a circle around Mario. They stood in a commanding, intimidating stance, faces flint and feet shoulder-width apart. Blue eyes flicked from one man to the other, gaze calm, breathing steady. It was almost as if he'd been expecting them—
"Before we get started," Mario said coolly. "Would any of you like to get out?"
Silence hung, save for the sound of five hearts beating. Four pairs of eyes drilled steadily into a fifth, defiant pair. The four men visibly saw their target's muscles tense and his face set as he prepared for a fight.
Immersed in a state of hyper-awareness, Mario heard the distinctive swish of a nightstick being drawn and whirled on Jimmy just as the other man lunged at him.
The man in red blocked the nightstick as it descended toward his face before sending his fist into Jimmy's handsome mug, hitting home with a satisfying crack.
At that, the other three dived into the fray, charging Mario at once. Fluidly, Mario sidestepped, blocked and ducked under their swings, and then Jimmy recovered and tried to attack him again. The portly plumber fought back with his signature brawling style, throwing fierce punches, kicks and elbow strikes and dropping low to attack their footing. He wound up and sent a blast of fire into Rory's chest before turning around and smashing Timmy in the jaw and throwing a fireball at Remy when he tried to grab him. And then a one-two punch at Jimmy when he also tried to grapple him. Mario then slid between Jimmy and Rory and bolted for the door, hoping to maneuver himself out of a disadvantageous position. Only for one of them to grab him by the back of his right overall strap and drag him back.
Mario slammed his elbow into the attacker, following up with a short hop f-air, and just barely evaded a nightstick to the face. He swept his legs about, sending all four men stumbling, but Timmy managed to catch his ankle, roughly sending the hero in red to the ground.
Instinctively, the plumber guarded his face, but the first blow slammed into his side, sending a shock of pain sizzling down his nerves and tearing the breath from his lungs. Reflexively, he cradled the affected area, leaving his face wide open. Coldly and methodically, the blows fell, sending flashes of white before Mario's eyes.
"We're doing this for your own good, Mario!" he heard one of them say.
The heavy blows kept coming, targeting the rest of his body, and Mario had enough. Generating a large, hot fireball, he hurled it at the first man he saw, and while the others were distracted, knocked them off their feet and got back up, wincing slightly as he did.
Remy was the first to recover, letting out a yell as he rushed at Mario. The latter calmly dodged his swings, closed in and dealt out several good ones to the point of the chin before grabbing his arm and touching a fiery finger to his weapon, forcing him to drop it as he yelped in pain. Finally, Mario kicked him in the stomach, sending him into a wall, and palmed the weapon, bringing it to his face in a defensive stance.
Rory, Timmy and Jimmy exchanged a look before going at Mario anew. First, Mario parried the blows as if he was using a sword, and then began to take a more offensive stance, sending his new weapon flying anywhere he saw an opening. A shoulder. An arm. A nose. A center of mass. Jimmy found himself winded with a blow to the gut. Rory and Timmy got in a few shots to Mario's already bruised side, but Mario quickly turned the tide, striking Rory twice in the ribs, landing a blow on his left knee and then his right knee for good measure. Rory crumpled to the floor, cursing in pain.
"Whoa, there, Jumpman," said Timmy as the two circled each other. "I just want you to know—this isn't personal."
In a fluid movement, he managed to strip Mario of his weapon, and then he got in a good blow to the abdomen. Mario doubled over, gasping, and Timmy discarded his own weapon before punching his opponent thrice in the face and landing several body blows. But Mario recovered, wrestled him to the floor and pummeled him with elbow strikes until he was dazed and bleeding.
"It kinda feels personal," said Mario before turning and limping out of the room, leaving the four men groaning on the ground.
CH teleported into the room. "Hey!" he shouted. "Don't let him get away!"
The glove cast some healing magic over the quartet, and they leaped to their feet, reinvigorated and ready for round two.
"With me!" shouted Jimmy, the four of them racing out of the room in pursuit of the plumber.
"I think we should split up," Rory said after they'd burst out of the corridor. "We have a better chance of surprising him."
Jimmy beamed. "Good idea," he said.
When they reached the lobby, Jimmy, Timmy, Remy and Rory did a hand-stack before scattering in different directions.
Mario, meanwhile, had increased his pace from a limp to a brisk walk. There was only one reason those four guys had ambushed him—Master Hand. He'd pretended to want an olive branch to get him to lower his guard, and then sent in his four lackeys to catch him unawares. There was no doubt about it now—that glove knew something and didn't want to tell him.
Maybe there's a reason, he thought, but his blood was once again boiling. Whatever MH knew, Mario deserved to know! But what if he'd gotten in more trouble by snooping around? He took a second to ponder over Luigi's words. How could he protect and defend his little brother if he was expelled from Smash? They'd clashed that night because Mario's actions had Luigi worried sick for him. And the last thing Mario wanted was for Luigi to worry.
How do I even know MH is behind this stunt? Because he didn't. He really didn't. And if he confronted MH with blind assumptions and no hard facts, he could risk getting himself in more trouble for no reason. Maybe those four acted on their own, angry about that car. But they said "Master Hand and Crazy Hand's orders" when they made me open my door to them. Were they lying? Or did one of those Hands have something to do with it?
He had no time to dwell on it further. When Mario turned a corner, Remy was waiting for him.
"Hello, buddy," the other man said ominously.
Mario's reflexes just weren't fast enough, Remy nailing him with one whale of a punch which sent him onto his back. Remy stepped toward him, letting his three companions know via walkie-talkie that he'd found the man in red. As quickly as he could, Mario rolled back to a standing position and threw a rock-hard punch of his own, connecting with Remy's gut. Remy swung back, but Mario blocked and wrenched Remy's arm counterclockwise until he heard a series of brittle cracks. With his other hand, Mario hit his opponent with blow after blow, and then used Remy's arm as a fulcrum to perform a judo flip. He straddled Remy then, raining down more punches, only to be stopped by a roundhouse from Remy's good arm.
Leaping to his feet, Mario sent a searing blast of fire at Remy and retreated, knowing that the other three were looking for him and that he couldn't hold out forever against these muscular men, due to his short stature. If Peach hadn't warned him—he didn't allow himself to finish the thought.
He whirled just as Timmy rushed him from the side, stopping the charge with a forward smash and then knocking out a handful of coins with an uppercut.
Timmy got to his feet. "Where do you think you're going?" he asked.
Mario aimed a punch, but Timmy easily blocked it and punched back. On the floor, Mario did his breakdancing attack and flip-kicked Timmy in the face, but Timmy was one tough customer. The two of them exchanged blows back and forth, Timmy managing to blast Mario a few times in the solar plexus and the jaw. Still, Mario kept getting up, refusing to let this guy intimidate him. Switching to another tactic, Mario grappled with Timmy, headbutted him a few times and then swung him around thrice, sending him crashing into a wall like with Remy earlier.
"Nice talk," said Mario before continuing his flight.
At a doorway, he paused to catch his breath and tend to his wounds. Luckily, they were just bruises, nothing serious—yet. He wiped the blood from his mouth and nose and popped a Mushroom into his mouth. Then, he slumped down into a sitting position, contemplating his next move.
"Maybe if I went to him calmly about this…" he murmured. He'd go to MH's office and tell him that four men claiming to act on his behalf had demanded to be let inside his room, and then attacked him. He wouldn't make any accusations or start wildly postulating. All he'd do is state the facts. And then he'd ask him not to make it public. Because if Luigi found out…
Sighing, Mario got up and headed toward MH's office, only to be tackled by Rory and Jimmy!
"You're coming with us, Mario," said Jimmy as he and Rory hauled the struggling plumber to his feet and dragged him back.
With a twist, Mario broke free, kicked Rory hard in the groin and then punched Jimmy twice in the jaw. Unfortunately for him, both recovered rather quickly and tossed him into an empty lounge area.
Timmy and Remy were already waiting for him.
How did they…? thought Mario.
The man in red once again found himself circled by four muscular, wired and quite p—ed off men.
"What do you want?" he barked. "Why are you doing this?"
"We care about you, Mario," said Rory. "We really do. We just don't appreciate you sticking your nose in official business or destroying property."
"I apologized, didn't I?"
"Yes, well," Jimmy smiled thinly. "'Sorry' just won't cut it."
The four men dashed in at once, but Mario wasn't going down without a fight. He dodged, ducked and deflected fists and nightsticks before dishing out as much as he was given, kicking, punching and throwing fireballs with all his might. But his enviable strength and pyrokinesis slowly became overwhelmed by numbers, and it wasn't long before Jimmy, Timmy, Remy and Rory had Mario cornered. Their blows continued to fly from all directions, and now the man in red was in bad trouble. Covered in bruises, an eye swelling up, tasting his own blood, Mario tried to ignore the pain and lash back, his efforts growing increasingly futile. With each man he fended off, two more set upon him. His strength ebbed, and he sank to one knee. But even then, he kept on fighting. He might be small, and he might be just a plumber—but he was gonna remind them why Peach regarded him as her people's best protector.
"Don't you guys think he's had enough?" asked Timmy after a while. Mario was now reduced to taking swipes at the quartet, swipes they could easily block. But he was in a really, REALLY bad way. Blood and sweat seeped down his face, and there were bruises, swelling and contusions everywhere. Mario's breath was labored, and he sounded in pain. But he wouldn't give up, wouldn't surrender, wouldn't bow.
"Our orders weren't to kill him," Timmy went on. "I think we can stop now."
"No, way, Timbo, we're doing this," crowed Rory. "We're gonna [bleep] him up so badly that his beloved Peach won't recognize him. Jimbo—stand him up."
Jimmy was more than happy to oblige, grabbing Mario and roughly yanking him up, holding him round the waist while the smaller man struggled.
Rory didn't hesitate then, his fists smashing like hammers into Mario's torso and chin.
"For C—st's sake, he can barely stand!" exclaimed Timmy.
"Let me in on some of that!" laughed Remy, ignoring his colleague and launching a spinning heel kick into Mario's face. Timmy winced as bone crunched. He was starting to regret his role in this nonsense.
"Look at Nintendo's mascot now!" sneered Remy as he kicked Mario again, this time in the solar plexus. "Not so high-and-mighty now, are you?"
"God—mit, now you're sounding like Steve and Stevie!" warned Timmy, but his words went unheeded.
"Steve and Stevie worked your brother over really good," chuckled Rory. "Where were you when he needed you, huh?" He laughed as he punched Mario relentlessly.
He's right. I wasn't there. I'm a failure. A f—ing failure. I let a stupid ghost shove me into a f—ing portrait and subjected my bro to a s—ton of trauma when he went to rescue me. I'm the reason Dimentio tried to corrupt him with the Chaos Heart. Some brother I am—
"'Super Mario'? What's super about you?" Remy giggled sadistically. "You can't keep your woman safe for five minutes before that turtle runs off with her. And who knows? Maybe she secretly prefers him over you and is just keeping up the charade for your pleasure. You think she's always in a cage when you show up? Don't you remember that castles have bedchambers? And I'm betting that those bedchambers see a lot of action when Koopa has your Peach over." He punctuated his words with a blinding punch to the face.
Still holding Mario, Jimmy was also starting to get uneasy. "Whoa, hey—take it easy," he said. "This wasn't part of the plan."
"It is now," Rory snapped as he and Remy took turns punching and kicking Mario.
"Think about what you're doing!" pleaded Timmy, but Rory and Remy were too absorbed to care anymore.
And then—Mario just—gave up. Went limp. The fight had gone out of him; Rory and Remy's words had pierced their target. Why should he keep fighting? It's not like it's actually doing anything. Koopa will still show up and snatch Peach every week or every day or whatever. He's constantly let her down, let her kingdom down. Maybe she's better off with Koopa. He's strong. He's a loving father. He'll be a better protector. I'm childish and naïve. What does she see in me?
And Luigi.
Luigi—
He deserved a better brother than him. He'd let him down countless times, too.
I'm sorry, Luigi. I'm sorry, Peachy—
Limp in Jimmy's arms, he let Remy and Rory do their worst, the pain from their blows hardly registering anymore, taken over by a worse pain—the pain of their words and the truth they carried. They laughed and jeered and mocked him as tears rolled down his face and Timmy desperately shouted at them to stop. Jimmy stood there, conflicted. What Mario did with the car and with the two Steves was wrong, but this—this was borderline disproportionate!
The man in red slumped in Jimmy's grip. Remorsefully, Jimmy released his hold, allowing Mario to sink to his knees. His head bowed, and his body shook. Bloody snot seeped from his nose as bloody drool dribbled from his mouth.
"Look what you did," Timmy gasped. "Look what you did! I knew we shouldn't have signed on for this!"
"What do you mean, Timbo? He deserved all of it, and then some," spat Remy.
Glaring at Mario, he growled, "You're just a sad, strange little man who imperils everyone you encounter. Don't ever forget that."
"No. He's not."
The four men turned at the sound of the soft voice. Mario raised his head, hope dispelling the storm clouds of dread.
"Impossible…" gasped Remy.
Luigi stood there, accessing the scene before him. His big bro, kneeling on the floor, physically and emotionally beaten and bleeding. Those four men, sporting bruised and bloodied knuckles. It didn't take an elderly paranormal researcher to figure out what was going on.
"Just—what do you think you're doing?" Luigi asked, calmly and evenly, a sure sign that the men had made a terrible mistake.
"Nothing to see here, Luigi," said Rory, slipping back into an air of professionalism. "Just official business. As you were."
"Luigi…" breathed Mario.
Luigi's eyes flickered to him, drinking in the fact that he was in bad shape. They'd went to town on not only his body but also his spirit. They'd made him cry. And he'd overheard the horrific, cruel things Rory and Remy said. The light was barely flickering in Mario's eyes; it was up to him to keep it alight—
"I said—as you were," said Rory. His tone had turned ominous.
Luigi's eyes snapped back to meet Rory's. His decision was made.
"No, buddy," he said, his voice low and his eyes narrowing. "You leave him alone."
Rory grinned. "Very well, then. Looks like it's two for the price of one."
He was fast. Luigi was faster.
In fact, Rory had barely begun to swing at the man in green when Luigi grabbed his wrist, pulled him forward and punished him with a vicious body shot. Rory sagged over with a gasp, and Luigi followed up with another awesome blow which sent his head snapping back. Tightening his grip on Rory's wrist, Luigi violently wrenched the entire arm, the sounds of snapping, popping and dislocating oh-so-satisfying for both Bros to hear.
Mario beamed, that light returning to his eyes. "You four are totally f—ed now," he said calmly.
Luigi punched Rory four more times before dropping him, checking his pulse to make sure he was still alive. Remy let out a yell and barreled toward the plumber, but Luigi simply tossed Mario a Super Mushroom without even breaking his gaze. Then, he coolly engaged Remy, speaking not a word as his blows flew and landed with icy precision. Remy crumpled to his knees, overwhelmed by the volley of fierce blows.
Resolved anew, Mario rose to his feet. He wasn't some "sad, strange little man". He was somebody's protector. He was somebody's brother. And now—said somebody could use his help.
"Hey, Jimmy," he said.
Jimmy turned.
Mario swung a vicious haymaker punch into his face. Jimmy staggered back, and Mario went at him again and again until he had him trapped against a wall, driving his fist into him over and over. Once Jimmy was no longer a threat, Mario stormed over to Remy, who'd managed to catch Luigi off guard, grabbed him by the back of his shirt collar and yanked him off his baby bro. From there, the Mario Bros double teamed Remy, assailing him on all sides with punches, kicks and knifehand strikes. To finish, Mario grabbed Remy, swung him around thrice and tossed him toward Luigi, who dealt out a devastating Super Jump Punch, sending Remy smashing into the ceiling and then back down.
"Mario!" cried Luigi. "Are you all right?!"
"I am now, Luigi," said Mario as the two embraced. "I am now."
They separated and then glared daggers at Timmy, who held up his hands in surrender.
"For what it's worth, I didn't approve of this from the get-go," he said, "and Remy and Rory just took it way too far."
"What do you mean by that?" Luigi wanted to know.
"I…" Timmy took a step back, and then turned and fled, ashamed.
"Yeah, you'd better run!" Luigi snapped after him. "Oh, Mario—don't listen to them, understand? You may not be perfect, but you're my hero."
"Io so, Luigi. Io so."
They hugged again before walking out of the room, hand-in hand.
1.1.1
"J—s C—st, you had one job," huffed Crazy Hand as the foursome sat in his office. "Only one job!"
"We didn't count on some unexpected help arriving," said Remy. "Luigi showed up."
"So I heard," said CH.
"And before that, it appears that Mario was warned well in advance," said Rory.
Timmy just sat there, guilt-stricken.
Glaring at Remy and Rory, Jimmy spoke. "I'm afraid things—escalated, Crazy Hand," he said.
"I saw everything," said CH. "And I don't blame them."
"What? Are you serious?" balked Timmy. "Do you know what they said to him?"
"At first, I went along, but then those two just took it too far," said Jimmy. "Look, for all I care, Mario was going about his own business when we encountered him. He made a mistake, but he's atoning for it, and he's trying to work with your brother here. Give him some credit, for God's sake!"
"He thinks he's invincible to the rules, but you reminded him otherwise," purred CH. "Thank you, gentlemen. You will be generously rewarded."
Timmy and Jimmy felt sick. Remy and Rory traded ambiguous looks.
"What is going on?" asked MH as he barged into the room.
"These four were going about their own business when Mario ambushed and attacked them," said CH, taking charge of the situation.
"It's funny you should say that, my dear Crazy Hand," said MH, "because one of my Smashers just told me that it was the other way around. That these four gentlemen went into Mario's room and attacked him unprovoked."
"Who told you that?" asked CH.
"I'm afraid that's none of your concern," MH said smartly. "What is your concern is the can of worms this action has opened. There was no need to antagonize Mario—we made up yesterday."
"That's what I told them, Master Hand," said Timmy.
CH sighed. "I did it to protect you," he said finally.
MH was in shock. "You told them to do this?"
"Yes," CH confessed.
"How could you?" MH wanted to know, "and what made you think you even had the authority?"
"Look, I'm scared, okay?" said CH, his voice shaking. "He attacked you, and it's my job to come to your defense—like any brother would."
"He knocked out the windows and headlights of my car," said MH. "It's not like I can't repair the damage."
"Yeah, but what if he'd directly gone after you next? I couldn't take that risk!" argued CH.
MH softened slightly. "Oh, Crazy Hand—I get that you're looking out for me, and I appreciate that. But there could've been another way. Why didn't you just—talk to him?"
The four men looked at their feet.
"Well…" CH cleared his throat. "I didn't want to seriously injure him. I only wanted to scare him. So he wouldn't be tempted to act like that again."
"Well, you d—n near succeeded," snapped Timmy. "Toward the end, Remy and Rory escalated it."
"What?" MH whipped toward Rory and Remy, who tried to evade his gaze.
"Mario was barely able to stand at that point, but those two decided to twist the knife," Timmy angrily went on. And he told MH what the two of them had said to Mario, puncturing his spirit and bruising his confidence.
"Is—is this true?" MH gasped in disbelief.
"Master Hand, if I may…" Rory began.
"No, you may not," MH cut him off, "because not only have you compromised the integrity of this tournament by harassing one of my top Smashers, you have also painted a target on my back. I'm docking your pay for two weeks, and you also owe Mario an apology."
"Luigi, too," Jimmy said solemnly. "He walked in on the tail end of it."
"I shall speak with them both regarding this incident," said MH, "and given what's happened previously…"
"I'll come with you," CH broke in.
"Wha…"
"I made the mess," CH said softly. "I need to clean it up. They were acting on my orders—mostly. What Remy and Rory did wasn't among those orders."
"My dear Crazy Hand," said MH. "I'll take care of it. But I'd also appreciate it if you confess your role in this to the Mario Bros and apologize."
"Will do," CH said solemnly.
"Wow," said Remy. "Now, I feel awful."
"Me, too," said Rory. "We really messed up, MH. Please, forgive us."
"Just apologize," MH said softly, "and all will be forgiven."
On that note, he floated back to his office.
1.1.1
With a sigh, Master Hand closed the door behind him. But before he could process what he'd just found out, he was confronted with two unexpected visitors.
The Mario Bros stood before him, looking sufficiently battered, Mario leaning on Luigi for support. Both of them glared venomously at the Hand of Creation.
MH steeled himself. "Look," he said, "I just found out what happened…"
"Did you, Master Hand?" Luigi broke in. "Did you? Those four put my bro through a lot of b.s. Do you have any idea what they did, what they said…?"
"Yes. They told me everything," said MH. "You've got to believe me, I had no part in this. Why would I want to hurt one of my Smashers?"
"Maybe because there's something you don't want me to know," Mario said tersely.
"Oh, dear God—this again?" huffed MH.
"Yesterday, you made false gestures of peace toward me, and then you stabbed me in the back," accused Mario, "and that hurts."
"I'm telling you, I didn't give the order," said MH.
"Then why did they say 'Master Hand and Crazy Hand's orders' when they demanded that I let them in my room?" Mario wanted to know.
"They lied. I didn't tell them to go into your room and attack you."
"No, you didn't. You had CH do it for you," Luigi said. "Nice to know you care about each other so much."
"Luigi, that's ridiculous. I didn't tell CH to do anything for me. All of that was him and him only—except for the part where Remy and Rory said those horrible things. I've already penalized them, by the way. Two weeks of docked pay."
"Okay, well—if you weren't part of this, then why would Crazy Hand sic those four on me?" Mario wanted to know.
"They call him Crazy Hand for a reason, Mario," sighed MH.
"Maybe he's hiding something," said Luigi.
MH frowned.
"Maybe you should pay some attention to your dear twin brother during your investigation," Luigi pointedly went on.
"He has been acting a bit strange lately," offered MH. "If he's been scheming behind my back—then why?"
The Bros exchanged a look.
"You guys can't possibly think…" spluttered MH.
"I don't know if it has anything to do with my nerf," said Luigi, "but whatever secrets he's keeping—he'll do anything to ensure they stay hidden."
"Maybe he knows the people who spent last month yelling about you," said Mario.
"Maybe," echoed Luigi before the Bros looked at MH.
"And not only that," added Mario. "Maybe CH knows that some Smashers had plotted to manipulate you into nerfing my bro. Maybe—he was in on it."
"Whoa, whoa—time out," said MH. "How would he profit from Luigi getting nerfed?"
"Don't you remember back in Melee when he threw a little hissy fit over my ability to stand up to his power?" asked Luigi.
"You're saying—envy made him do it?" asked MH.
"Either envy—or simply for the fun of it," shrugged Luigi. "He prefers chaos over order, that's for sure."
"You're saying that CH was involved in a plot to get you nerfed just for [bleeps] and giggles?"
"If there was a plot, then that's my best bet," said Luigi.
"Wow," gasped MH.
"Maybe you should get around to questioning him one of these days," added Mario.
"Look—I'm really sorry about what happened. It's true that you broke the rules, but you didn't deserve that beatdown," said MH. "I'll talk to my brother and see if he knows anything."
"Like he'll just tell you," huffed Luigi.
"I can be very persuasive," MH assured him.
"When I walked in there and saw Mario like that, I…"
"It's okay, Luigi. You don't have to tell me."
"They really hurt him. Remy and Rory especially."
Mario nodded, his eyes dimmed. "They said…"
"Timmy was a reluctant participant, from what I gathered," said MH. "He told me what Rory and Remy said."
"And all you're doing is docking their pay?" balked Luigi. "Who's to say they won't do it again? Those two should be fired!"
Mario tightened his grip on him. "He's right, you know," he said. "Their behavior goes against what this tournament is about."
"If they persist, then I will take further action," MH promised them.
"Oh, that's very comforting, Master Hand," Luigi said dourly. "If they come after Mario again…"
"They won't. You have my word. I'll be watching them very closely," said MH. "Mario, I want you to go to Dr. Mario's office and get your injuries looked at."
"Okay," Mario said softly.
Luigi started to help him out, only for MH to stop him with a finger on his shoulder. "I need a word with you," he said. "Alone."
Mario bristled, but Luigi nodded to him. "Go," he said. "I'll be fine."
Giving MH a blistering look, Mario limped out of the room, closing the door behind him.
The Hand of Creation turned to the man in green. "Please, have a seat," he said.
Luigi obliged.
"Again, please accept my sincere apology for what happened," said MH. "I was upset at Mario for a long time over the car, and you know I had to suspend him for attacking Steve and Stevie, regardless of their own actions. But never would I instruct four of my employees to ambush him like that."
Luigi said nothing.
"If you hadn't shown up when you did, I fear that his injuries would've been far worse," MH continued, now avoiding Luigi's gaze. But he could feel and sense everything.
"L, I—I want you to know that I didn't suspend your brother to be mean. If I gave him preferential treatment for being Nintendo's mascot, then that wouldn't be fair, would it?"
Still, Luigi remained silent, not trusting himself to speak. Because if he did, then he feared that he'd just—lose it.
"And about what I said to him—I didn't mean it. I don't know what came over me. I…" MH cleared his throat, and Luigi stiffened slightly, clenching his fists and focusing on his breaths. "I'm not making any excuses. It's just—I've been under a lot of stress lately."
"I'll bet," Luigi managed to say.
"However—that's not the only reason why I needed to speak to you privately," said MH.
Luigi took a deep breath and slowly streamed it out. "Go on," he said.
"You really came through for your brother today," MH continued. "You stood up for him, defended him, supported him. You got him out of harm's way. It wasn't the first time, but your actions were honorable and admirable. For that, I highly commend you."
"I did what I had to do," Luigi said quietly.
MH nodded.
"However," the glove went on, "that does not excuse the fact that you were engaged in a fight outside of the battlefield, which is a direct violation of Smash's code of conduct."
Luigi tensed again.
"I'm sorry, Luigi. Truly, I am. I have no choice but to suspend you."
"Wh—what? Are you serious?" gasped Luigi.
"I'm not punishing you for helping Mario," said MH. "Unfortunately, just like him, you broke the rules."
"What else was I supposed to do?" Luigi wanted to know.
"Why didn't you tell me?" asked MH. "Or call for help?"
"Master Hand—I saw what they were doing to him and just—acted."
"Yes, I understand that, but the fact is, fighting outside of the battlefield and the Training Area will not be tolerated. No exceptions."
Luigi went pale. "You gotta be s—ing me," he said in disbelief.
"Your suspension will commence tomorrow," said MH, "and shall last for a period of ten days. You may still use the Training Area and all recreational facilities, but you cannot participate in any matches or Smash Runs."
Luigi dropped his face into his hands and groaned.
"I don't like this as much as you," MH told him, "but I have no choice. Furthermore, ten days have been added to Mario's current suspension for the same reason."
"WHAT?!" Luigi snapped his head back up.
"That's the way it has to be," MH said firmly.
"He—he was defending himself!" Luigi protested.
"He could've called for help," said MH.
"And they were just gonna stand there and let him?" challenged Luigi. "He subdued them and then fled, but they just kept coming at him until they cornered him in that lounge. And Remy and Rory turned it into a one-sided fight, so I had to step in before things got worse!"
"Rules are rules, Luigi. You can't change that. I can't change that."
"Yeah? You wouldn't have broken this to me if Mario had still been here!" Luigi shot back.
MH hesitated. Luigi made a good point.
"I wanted to give him time to recover before I told him," the glove said finally.
"Well—that's very nice of you," snapped Luigi.
"Watch that attitude, Luigi, or I just might make it fifteen days," warned MH as Luigi glared at him. "There's a good chance that I might shave some time off both of your suspensions. But you have to work with me here, all right?"
Luigi glowered. "All right," he said finally. "Will that be all, Master Hand?"
"Yes, Luigi. You are dismissed."
The man in green rose from his seat and stalked out of the office. MH stared after him, concerned.
1.1.1
Dr. Mario had looked over all of Mario's wounds, and he'd advised that his red-and-blue counterpart remain in the hospital for at least three days for observation. Mario had kindly thanked the good doctor for his advice and saw to it that he was discharged within the hour.
Now, he was back in his room, which was none the worse for wear following the incident. He lay there in silence, the TV on mute, staring at the ceiling as those words replayed in his head. His body hurt, his heart hurt. Everything hurt. Eventually, he poured himself two glasses of sweet wine and decided to take a nap, a nap which ended up fitful and short. The pain and the echoes of the words always woke him up.
Mario grabbed his cell phone and sent Luigi a text. How'd the talk with MH go?
It went okay, was the reply. I'm in the Training Area rn. How're you feeling?
Better. It was a lie, but he didn't want Luigi fretting too much over him, not with so much already on his plate. Dr. Mario tried to make me stay in the hospital, but I talked him out of it.
Just take it easy for a few days, and don't worry. I'll b fine.
Mario sadly chuckled. Okeydokey Luigi.
TTYL, Mario.
K bye. 😊
Byeeee. 😉
As Mario plugged in his earbuds and put on a playlist of 80s hits, he couldn't shake the feeling that Luigi was hiding something. He's probably doing it to protect me. Good ol' Luigi. Always looking out for his bro. I wish I could do a better job looking out for him…
A tear slid slowly down his face.
Someone knocked on his door. "Mario, it's Lauren!"
He paused his music, slid out of bed and answered the door. "Hey," he said.
"Oh, my God, are you all right?" asked Lauren.
"Yeah."
"I saw them coming—I should've done something…"
Mario patted her hand. "It's not your fault. And besides, I was already warned in advance."
"Who…?"
"Peach."
Lauren slumped in relief. "Thank God you're not badly hurt."
"Thank Luigi, too. He helped me when I was nearly overrun."
"Er—yeah. That's what I wanna talk to you about," Lauren said uneasily.
Mario blinked. "What happened?"
"There's not an easy way to say this," said Lauren, "so I'm just gonna say it. Luigi's—been suspended."
"What?! What for?!"
Lauren huffed. "Fighting outside of the tournament."
"As in 'defending me from four brutish a—holes?!'"
"Yup."
"Son of a—for how long?"
"Ten days. And he's tacked on ten days to your suspension, as well."
"God—mit! That f—ing Master Hand!" Mario exclaimed. "How'd he take it?"
"He's just as upset as you."
"I could see why he didn't wanna tell me," said Mario. "Thanks, Lauren."
"What are you gonna do?" asked Lauren.
"What I do best," vowed Mario. "I'm gonna be there for him. And if he needs someone to vent to, I'll be just the guy."
"Just—give him a chance to calm down first," advised Lauren.
"Will do," said Mario.
"Oh, and I fixed up your room while you were gone," added Lauren.
"Wow—you're on top of everything!" cried Mario.
Lauren beamed. "Get some rest. I'll check up on you later," she said before taking her leave.
"Oh, Lauren—you don't know how hard that'll be," sighed Mario before limping back to his bed and carefully sliding under the covers.
1.1.1
Koopa lumbered into the Main Lounge and quickly found the woman he was looking for, sipping on a milkshake.
"Hey," he said.
Peach looked up.
"Thanks for warning Mario," Koopa said sincerely.
Peach scoffed. "Yeah," she said, "because they're not allowed to hurt him. Only you."
"Well, that's part of it, but—I kinda like the guy," said Koopa.
"Really? You have a strange way of showing it," said Peach. In a softer tone, she asked, "How is he?"
"He'll be okay," smiled Koopa. "He's resting right now. It could've been worse."
"Glad to see you care," Peach told him.
"He had some help," said Koopa. "Green 'St—Luigi barged in when all hope seemed to be lost and handled the four of them. Two of them—Rory and Remy—had some words with Mario, you know."
Peach frowned. "What did they say?"
Koopa told her, and she turned as pink as her dress.
"Those motherf...!"
"Whoa, easy!" Koopa laughed nervously. "That was when the L showed up, after all."
"Oh, wow. I hope they're punished severely," said Peach.
"MH docked their pay for two weeks and ordered them to apologize," eyerolled Koopa. "Just so you'll know, MH had nothing to do with that. But I think CH did."
"Why?"
"I dunno—for the fun of it? He's Crazy Hand. He's unpredictable."
The turtle settled himself across from the object of his desires.
"I have some good news," said Koopa.
"Do tell," said Peach.
"Green 'St—Luigi's been suspended. For ten days. And Mario's been saddled with ten extra days of suspension."
Peach had a dainty hand to her mouth. "Oh, my," she said.
Koopa smirked. "I didn't say it was good news for you," he said.
Peach glared at him. "You b—d."
Koopa chuckled and then enfolded her hand in his. "After you're finished, how about you go and get your stuff together."
"Why? What do you m…" She trailed off as realization struck. "Oh, no."
Koopa smirked wider. "You have two hours."
"Are you f—ing kidding me?"
"Do I look like I'm kidding?" Koopa spread his hands.
"Oh, my God, Koopa," sighed Peach.
"I'm a villain. What do you expect?"
"After suffering a physical, verbal and psychological beatdown—this, now?" snapped Peach. "Who was I to expect better?"
"I'm giving the three of you two hours to prepare out of respect for what happened." That smirk didn't leave Koopa's face. "That's generous."
Peach cursed softly.
"I'll let them know," she said finally.
"Leave that to me," grinned Koopa.
Regally, Peach stood, tossed what was left of her shake in the trash and glided toward her room. Koopa watched her go before fishing out his cell phone and dialing his nemesis.
"Hey, Mario," he said. "I hope you've had your rest."
He hung up as Mario started to protest.
Laughing to himself, Koopa ordered a large shake and some fries. He needed to get ready, as well.
1.1.1
After matches had concluded for the day, Dorf showered and plodded over to his room, only to find a letter on his bed. The seal instantly told him that it was from Koopa.
Hey, Dorf—wanna come over to my castle tonight? Dinner's on me.—K.K.
"Don't mind if I do," said Dorf before calling his pal and telling him that he was interested.
One of Koopa's airships picked Dorf up at around 7p.m., and he arrived at Koopa's Castle about 45 minutes later. There were Koopa Troopas and Hammer Bros lined up to greet him, and then the Koopa King himself emerged and gave the King of Evil a hug.
"I knew you'd make it," Koopa said warmly.
Dorf nodded. "I haven't been to your castle in ages."
In short order, Koopa's minions were fussing around in the kitchen, preparing dinner for the royals.
"Did you hear what went down today?" asked Koopa.
"I heard that four guys barged into Mario's room and started attacking him," said Dorf. "I heard that it got too much, and Luigi had to step in."
"But did you hear what happened afterward?"
"What happened afterward?"
Koopa grinned. "Both of those pesky plumbers got suspended!"
Dorf let out a celebratory whoop. "For how long?"
"Well, Green 'St—Luigi wound up suspended for ten days, and Mario's already suspended, so he just got an extra ten days."
"Excellent," said Dorf.
"We don't have to worry about facing either of them on the battlefield for a while," gloated Koopa. "Isn't that wonderful?"
"Indeed."
The two laughed.
"We could use a break from them from time to time," said Dorf.
Koopa leaned down and whispered something to a red-shelled Koopa Troopa, who nodded and scurried off.
"We're responsible," Dorf said suddenly.
"Hm?"
"We're responsible for what happened. Last night, we panicked and called CH, remember? I think he's behind it."
A woozy feeling suddenly passed over Koopa. "Oh—right…" he said slowly.
The mood was broken, however, when the Koopa Troopa reappeared, Peach walking beside him. The Mushroom Princess was attired in a spaghetti strap salmon dress with sapphire accents, her hair tumbling in waves over her shoulders, her face freshly made up. Fire was in her eyes as they slid over Koopa and Dorf.
Dorf playfully elbowed his friend. "No way! If you'd told me in advance, then I would've brought Zel along. Then, we would've had a double date!"
They laughed.
"Good to see ya, Peach," said Dorf.
Peach nodded simply. "Good to see you, too," she said sweetly.
It wasn't long before dinner was ready. Koopa sat at one end of the table, Peach to his left and Dorf to his right. His minions and advisors occupied the rest of the table.
"With those plumbers suspended, what's on your agenda?" asked Dorf.
"They're probably on their way to rescue our guest here," said Koopa, indicating Peach, "but I don't expect them here until tomorrow night, late. But let me tell you that I'm gonna capitalize on their situation for all it's worth!"
Peach glared at him as she took cautious bites of her food and cautious sips of her drink.
"Chillax, Peachy—I didn't put anything in there," purred Koopa, rubbing the small of her back. "What's the sense in that, right?"
He grunted as she sent an elbow into his ribs.
"Enjoy this while you can," Peach said in that unsettlingly polite voice. "They'll come, and they'll kick your [bleep] and leave you in a heap on that bridge. They always do."
Koopa and Dorf just laughed.
"This is why I love you," said Koopa. "That fire—burning inside you. My kingdom could use that."
"Love? How could you say that? Dragging me to your castle every other day of the week isn't love," Peach calmly stated.
"You'll warm up to me eventually," Koopa said confidently.
"Just because they're suspended doesn't mean they can't keep an eye out for you," said Peach. "I hope you know that."
"Ah—but if they misbehave, MH will pile the suspension on," grinned Koopa. "That's where I'll have my fun."
Peach looked at him in disgust. "You just don't know when enough is enough, do you?"
"Not really," Koopa said innocently. "No."
"If they beat you and save Peach, what will you do next?" asked Dorf.
"Probably try again in a week," snarked Peach.
"Smart girl," said Koopa. "We'll all go back to the Smash Mansion, and then I'll push those plumbers' buttons as much as remotely possible, and after I recover and boost my might, I'll try again."
"And what if things go differently this time around and you finally win?" asked Dorf.
"First things first, I finally secure control of the MK," Koopa replied. "Play some hardball with their allies and negotiate my best generals into the Smash tournament."
"Yes, that's about right," huffed Peach. "You'll sit on your [bleep] in my castle and profit off of my people's suffering while they spend the rest of their days as your prisoners!"
"Prisoners? No, no, no," Koopa said softly. "I promise you, the Toads will come to no harm. They'll be allowed to keep their homes and their property, for the simple price of accepting me as their ruler."
"They won't," Peach said fiercely. "I won't."
"Hey," Koopa said gently. "Once the MK is mine, I don't want you to be my prisoner. I want you to be my queen."
"D'awww…" cooed Dorf.
"What about what I want?" Peach wanted to know. "You don't give a [bleep] about what I want. You don't give a [bleep] about what my people want. And you don't give a [bleep] about what Mario and Luigi want. You've never given a [bleep]. It's always about you and what you want and how you want to conquer my kingdom and make our lives a living Hell."
"I don't want to make your lives a living Hell—I want to better your lives," said Koopa.
"And how do you propose you'll start? If you have any information on how you'll possibly improve life in the MK, by all means, share it."
Koopa opened his mouth to speak, but then hesitated.
"Yeah—that's what I thought," Peach said.
"I really haven't gotten to that part yet," explained Koopa. "My focus so far has been on taking care of those plumbers once and for all."
"Let me ask you something—after taking care of them—how are you gonna maintain the kingdom's sewage and sanitation systems?" challenged Peach. "Hire new plumbers? I certainly hope that there are plumbers under your employ here in the Dark Lands."
"Well…"
"Face it. If you defeat them in battle, you'll still need them," Peach stated smartly, leveling a forkful of food into her mouth. "Who's to say that someone won't finish what they started, hm? Especially you, Dorf. Others will come after Link should you best him. I don't think you can even imagine a life without your archnemeses. They're the only ones who really know you, besides me and Zel, of course."
"I see what you're suggesting," Dorf murmured, "but using human life as blackmail is beneath me."
"Me, too," said Koopa. "Don't worry about your plumbers, Peachy. If they should fall to me, then I'll honor them as the heroes they are. They'll be buried with full honors, and their bodies will be treated with the utmost respect. I don't think they'll want to live out their days as someone's insurance policy, don't you agree?"
"That makes me feel better," muttered Peach.
But there was something Peach was right about. Both Koopa and Dorf were hesitant over striking the final blow to their respective archnemeses. In a twisted way, they enjoyed having them around, enjoyed fighting them and toying with them and p—ing them off. Koopa wanted Peach as his queen, and Dorf wanted Zelda as his, but the anticipation of confronting their brave rescuers—that was something they truly lived for.
"Peachy here is the one who tipped Mario off to those four guys in the first place," Koopa said to his friend. "She saw them headed toward his room. If it hadn't been for her quick thinking, Mario would've gotten much worse. I kinda owe her this time around."
"I didn't do it for you," Peach said coldly.
"It wasn't right," said Koopa. "What those two said to him. It was unnecessarily cruel and mean-spirited. Can we at least agree on that?"
"Yeah," said Peach. "We can. I just can't believe you wanna kick him while he's down."
Koopa shrugged. "It's my nature. I really can't help myself."
A green-shelled Koopa Troopa walked into the room with a folder in hand.
"Thank you," said Koopa, accepting the folder and then opening it. "Oh, dear…"
"What is it?" asked Dorf.
"Those plumbers have just cleared World 1," said Koopa.
"If you need some help with the other worlds…" offered Dorf.
"No, thanks. I don't wanna drag the elf boy into this."
Dorf arched an eyebrow. "He's not just an 'elf boy'. Link's the best fighter I've ever met."
"Which is why I don't wanna get him involved. Those plumbers are bad enough. I mean, I've fought Link several times in Smash, and off the battlefield—I don't wanna take any chances."
Ganon winced in sympathy. "Yeah—I guess you're right."
"Slumber party?" asked Koopa.
"Good idea," said Dorf.
"Shall I send out some reinforcements?" asked Kamek.
"Might as well," said Koopa. "And Peach—would you like us to share some dessert in my quarters?"
"Do I have a choice?" eyerolled Peach.
"No."
"Then I guess I will."
"Excellent." To a handful of Koopa Troopas, he said, "Escort Peach upstairs and make sure she's as comfortable as possible. I will join her momentarily."
Peach daintily wiped her mouth, rose from her chair and offered Koopa one last scathing look before following the Koopa Troopas out of the room.
"I have just the room for you, Dorf," said Koopa. "Some of my Hammer Bros will show you the way. I've provided all of the amenities you need for the night."
"Thanks, man," said Dorf. "Hey—don't do anything I wouldn't do."
"I won't. If those plumbers arrive earlier than expected, stay calm and follow my minions' instructions. Don't try to confront them yourself; it'll only drag the fight out, which will lead to more property damage and more people getting injured than necessary."
"You see me as the kind of person who will panic? I know what to do," Dorf assured him.
Koopa clapped Dorf on the shoulder. "Sleep well."
"You, too. See you in the morning."
They parted after exchanging friendly smiles.
Please R&R.