T Plus 26 Days
Everyone in the Smash Mansion breathed a little easier now that Peach was safe and sound. And not only that, she'd actually fought her way out, with some help, but still. Master Hand allowed her, along with the Mario Bros, to sleep in, deciding not to put them in matches until after lunch the next day. The Smashers who had helped Peach pull off her daring escape were also commended, along with the Bennigan Brothers, Mr. Sakurai and Vanessa and her brood. MH had also brought Mario and Luigi to the infirmary, where Dr. Mario had looked over the injuries they'd sustained. Their bruises were iced, and their burns and cuts were disinfected and bandaged. Tiredly, they'd bid everyone good night and headed to their rooms, and they were asleep as soon as their heads hit their pillows.
They slumbered well into the night and into the next morning, awakening at around 11a.m. Their sleep had worked wonders, as their wounds had almost completely healed. In addition, their moods were sunnier and their energy was restored. The Super Mario Bros were ready to take on the day ahead of them!
Once they were freshened up and attired in their usual clothes, Master Hand led the Bros to his office, where Peach, Link and Zelda joined them.
"I'm so glad you're okay," said MH once everyone was seated with a mug of hot cocoa. "Rest assured, I shall deal with Koopa upon his return. However, there's a more pressing matter that must be attended to."
"You got him?" asked Peach.
"I threw my dear brother some bait, and he fell into my trap," said MH. "Of course, Luigi knows a little about that. He had the immense pleasure of making Amy's acquaintance."
"Is she okay?" asked Luigi.
"Yes," replied MH. "She's returned to Seattle. However, before she departed, she indicated an interest in joining this tournament and facing you in battle again."
Luigi smiled.
"Jimmy, Timmy, Remy, Rory, Charlie, Chad and I worked together to implicate my brother, along with the two Steves and Mr. Sakurai," MH went on. "I'm allowing Mr. Sakurai to rest, given that yesterday was pretty trying for him. However, I'd like to give you the chance to confront the two Steves and my brother. Would you like to do so today, or would you like to wait a while?"
"We need closure," Zelda said softly. "We need to know why they did what they did."
"Very well," said MH. Pressing a button on his intercom, he commanded, "Bring them in."
MH and his visitors waited patiently. Hardly a minute later, Jimmy, Timmy, Remy and Rory walked in, escorting Crazy Hand, Steve and Stevie. CH was still enclosed in a sphere, and as a precaution, the two Steves were in handcuffs. Mario, Luigi, Peach, Zelda and Link glared stonily at the three.
"Please, sit," said MH.
Glowering, the three obliged.
"So," said MH. "Is there anything you'd like to say to these five wonderful Smashers?"
CH and the two Steves gazed at the quintet.
Stevie's eyes blazed with hatred. "Your brother is a pig," he spat at Mario. "A f—ing pig!"
Mario would've leapt out of his seat and onto Stevie had Luigi not taken his hand.
"So many people have insulted me that I've forgotten all of their names," Luigi said coldly. "I've been castigated, vilified, overshadowed, laughed at, terrorized, threatened and even beaten and tortured. A lesser man would've broken down, but not me. Because I have him." He indicated Mario. "I have them." He indicated Link, Zelda and Peach. "I have friends who never left my side. And I have faith. Not just in the Star Spirits, but in myself—and in God. I'm no longer ashamed of who I am—and you can't frighten me."
"Or me," added Peach.
"Or me," snapped Zelda.
"Me, neither," Link led the charge.
"When you attacked me in the Training Area," said Luigi, "tell me—did it make you feel big? Did it make you feel like men? Did it feel good, ganging up on someone after taking a cheap shot at them? Because to me, it didn't."
"Did it feel good?" Steve repeated. "You're d—n right it did. Stevie and I made you remember your place!"
"And where is that?" Luigi asked in an acid tone. "Hiding under my bed? Cowering in the corner and waiting for Mario to fight my battles? You actually think I'm that weak and helpless?"
Mario rested a hand on his bro's shoulder, having calmed down. "I fell violently ill once," he said, "with Bean Fever, after eating some food from the Beanbean Kingdom. I wasn't adjusted to their cuisine, so that's why I got sick. Do you know who cured me? Luigi. The only antidote to Bean Fever was in Guffawha Ruins, a place crawling with monsters. And Luigi journeyed there. By himself. He fought those monsters, retrieved the antidote and saved my life. Once my fever broke, the first thing I did was hug Luigi.
"And that wasn't the only time he saved my life. There was an enemy more psychopathic than the Koopa King, one who didn't have his sense of fair play or a moral code. An enemy who completely overpowered me and threw me into a prison from which I couldn't escape, who subjected me to hours of physical and psychological torture. For the first time since becoming a hero of the MK, I was—helpless. And I would've given up, too, if it hadn't been for Luigi. When I first saw him peeking in through the mouth of a lion statue, I began to hope again. And when he marched in, armed and ready to fight my captor, I put all of my faith in him. He finished up heavily injured and in great pain, but he did it. He rescued me. He faced his worst fears for me. Once I was freed, we cried and cried in each other's arms. Twelve years later, he faced his worst fears for me a second time. And he's told those who asked that he'd do it again. And again and again and again. Now, what do you think of that?"
The two Steves said nothing.
"You think you're tough, but I don't see you doing anything like that," Mario went on. "If anything, you would've traded someone else's life for your own."
"And if anyone here is a pig, then it's you," said Peach. "You waited until Luigi's back was turned to attack him. You enjoyed ganging up on me, Zelda and Link during our free-for-all. But when Mario came after you…" She spread her hands. "You have the bark, but you don't have the bite. Mario told me that he had you on the ground in an instant, and you barely tried to defend yourselves." She disgustedly shook her head. "You two are cowards, plain and simple. Beating up women, beating up people whose backs are turned—and after that disaster of a free-for-all, what did you do? You ran away, rather than man up and face the consequences. I think that's why you wanted Luigi nerfed. To make yourselves look bigger and stronger than you really are."
"Not only that," Zelda joined in, "but also you tried to terrorize a remorseful man into compliance. You knew that if he confessed, then your little façade would go flying out the window. It got to the point that he had to hold a secret meeting in order to confess. But he's seen you for who you really are, and so have we, and guess what? You have no power whatsoever over our lives."
"You're nothing but a pair of glorified bullies," added Link, "and the Smash World has little tolerance for bullies. Especially those who target women. But mark my words—you'll never hurt Zelda again."
"And you'll never hurt Peach again," vowed Mario.
"They should've thought of that before sticking their noses where they don't belong," growled Stevie.
"As in 'gaining wind of a despicable plot against me'?" challenged Luigi.
"As in 'trying to warn me of an unprovoked attack'?" added Mario.
He turned a fiery gaze on Crazy Hand. "Speaking of which…"
"My hands are clean in this," CH broke in. "Figuratively speaking, of course."
"You helped finance this plot to have me nerfed," Luigi said evenly. "Why? What interest was my playstyle to you?"
"I just—figured you needed tweaking," said CH.
"No—you were upset that I could hold my own against you—just like everyone else," charged Luigi. "I bested your brother in 1999, and he didn't complain. In fact, he was impressed."
MH nodded.
"You certainly lived up to your title as the Hand of Destruction," said Luigi. "Because of your actions, the first few days of this month were a living Hell. I was teased relentlessly because of my nerf and used as a punching bag both on and off the battlefield. Was that what you wanted?"
"No," said CH. "I just prefer chaos over order."
"Well, we don't," retorted Luigi. "I was put through a lot of b.s. because of what you did. And you put my bro through more b.s. to try and cover your tracks. You sent four men after him. You had the two Steves launch a smear campaign against him, and you arranged for them to send Peach to the infirmary because she tried to warn him about that ambush. Then, because Link and Zelda eavesdropped on three people talking about Project Nerf, you had the two Steves beat them up, too. And if I hadn't spent my period of suspension in Evershade Valley, then you probably would've sicced them on me, too. What are they, your attack dogs?"
"We were looking out for common interests," said CH.
"That's what you call this mess?" Luigi demanded of them. "Do you feel even the slightest hint of remorse for the chain of events you set off?"
"I assure you, I had no idea that those four guys would go overboard when dealing with Mario," said CH.
"We didn't mean to," Rory broke in. "It just happened. And we've regretted it ever since. Mario—you're flawed, but you're a good man. And if you're enough of a hero for your brother and for the MK, then you're enough of a hero for us."
"Why would he choose you?" asked Mario.
"Maybe because—we lead Master Hand's personal security," postulated Remy. "He didn't want anyone getting suspicious."
"So, he tried to make four additional attack dogs out of you," said Mario.
"Guess so," sighed Jimmy.
"Frankly, I don't know whether to call you MH's attack dogs—or his spies," Mario said crisply.
"We're the top members of his personal security team," said Timmy. "And for what it's worth—we're truly sorry for attacking you like that."
"CH manipulated you," said Mario. "I get it. But it still doesn't excuse the things you said."
The four men gazed at each other.
"What's it gonna take for you to forgive us?" asked Jimmy. "Completely?"
"Well," replied Mario. "We'll just have to see.
"But you," he said to Crazy Hand, "I'm hardly likely to forgive. I sat there and watched Steve and Stevie whale on my Principessa on your behalf, along with one of my best friends and his Principessa. And while you weren't behind the attack on my bro, it happened as a result of your selfish actions. Because of you, Luigi needlessly suffered. Because of you, a bunch of people did a bunch of s—y things to him, and it's unlikely that he'll fully recover. I really hope you're proud of yourself, Crazy Hand, because it looks like you got what you wanted."
"Having two of your Smashers attack their fellow Smashers in a tournament you're supposed to help supervise is beneath you," said Zelda. "But you know what? Link, Peach and I recovered, and we're ready to move on with our lives. As for you—I hope this weighs on your head for all eternity." Pointing at the two Steves, she added, "And that goes double for your two loyal henchmen."
"You wanna know something funny?" asked Luigi. "In spite of all this, I'm still standing. You thought you could send me running back home by taking away my combos? You thought wrong. I'll just start from scratch and make more combos. Starting this afternoon, I'll fight my opponents more fiercely than ever, and I'll show everyone that there's more to me than my down throw. That ought to give you something to chew on." He rose from his seat. "I have nothing more to say to you. You have yourselves a nice day." On that remark, he turned on his heel and strode out of the office.
"What's gonna happen to them?" asked Mario.
"I haven't decided yet," replied MH, "but they will face the music for their actions."
"See that they do," Mario said, a little tightly, "or you'll feel a backlash the likes of which you've never felt before."
And then he, too, was gone.
MH turned to Peach. "Will you be okay fighting this afternoon?"
Peach nodded. "I may be a damsel in distress, but I'm not weak," she said. "Thank you for your concern, though."
"Yeah," said Zelda. "I think—I think we're gonna be okay."
"Things are gonna get better," smiled Link. "We just have to wait."
"I suppose you're right," said MH.
He watched as Link, Zelda and Peach left his office. Then, he had Jimmy, Timmy, Rory and Remy escort Crazy Hand and the two Steves out.
1.1.1
Luigi's return to the Smash Battlefield was met with a generally sunny reception. There were some Smashers who didn't miss squaring off against him, but most of the Smashers did. The arena was filled to capacity as Luigi's first match in 16 days began, and his opponent was none other than—Kyle, one of the people who'd wanted him nerfed.
As mentioned previously, the turnout was overwhelming. The stands were practically crammed with Luigi fans and superfans, about half of them dressed up like him. Mario sat in his usual spot, and joining him were Peach, Lauren, Eden, Theo, Vanessa, Ethan and Anna. Falco sat several rows behind them, and next to him was Chad. And the four Bennigan Brothers sat one section away, eager to see how Luigi would handle his first opponent in over two weeks.
Kyle quickly racked up damage on the man in green, but Luigi soon found his rhythm, beginning to land light but fierce blows on the Mii Swordfighter. Rather than getting frustrated, Kyle began to adjust his strategy, switching to a defensive stance and patiently waiting for a chance to retake the lead. He was a far cry from the entitled Smasher constantly complaining over Luigi defeating him all the time.
Here and there, Luigi tossed out simple combos. Up tilt to up smash, forward throw to dash attack. He dropped to the ground and attacked Kyle's footwork with tripping kicks and his down smash. He utilized more of the moves he knew had been buffed, such as his Cyclone and his downward aerial attack. And he frequently threw out his jump-kicking attack and buzzed around Kyle, battering him with knifehand strikes. Keeping the pressure on, staying on the offensive and barely giving his foe time to get a strike in edgewise.
And then he grabbed Kyle, slammed him down and delivered a forward knifehand strike to the stomach. Kyle doubled over, gasping for breath, allowing Luigi to grab and Ground-Pound him again, this time following up with his Cyclone.
"There you go!" cheered Mario. "There you go, Luigi!"
Excited buzzing grew audible among the spectators as Luigi started fighting more aggressively, gaining enough wind in his sails to try out his new combos. Kyle would get some slashes in, but Luigi chose to ignore the pain, setting up combos with simple, swift punches and maybe even a fireball.
"Go, Luigi, go!" shouted Lauren.
Thus encouraged, Luigi Ground-Pounded Kyle once more, following up with an up smash. Kyle's percentage was too high to attempt his old down throw to double f-air, so he tried out another new combo: down throw to b-air to u-air. Kyle retaliated with several furious slashes, sending him to the ground, but he got back up and served up some payback with a smattering of hefty smash attacks, topping it off with a Super Jump Punch, taking Kyle's stock.
"Look at him go!" laughed Ethan.
The spectators' buzzing became full-on cheering. They knew that the 16-day break had done its job. Luigi had gotten his thoughts in order, and now he'd returned, ready to show spectators and Smashers alike what he could still do. When Kyle respawned, the two combatants circled one another, Luigi dodging one slash, and then another, before closing in with two fireballs, several body blows, and finally a grab and a pummel.
After that, he reminded everyone that his down throw to double f-air still worked, just at lower percentages. He pulled off this combo twice before following up his next butt-slam with a f-air and an upwards bicycle kick. Gradually, the combos lengthened and the sweat began to fly, a familiar flush materializing on his cheeks. No doubt about it, he was coming back swinging!
"Hey, M," said Theo.
"Yeah?" replied Mario.
"I know you and L were looking forward to whaling the snot out of that turtle," said Theo, "seeing that he was involved in Project Nerf—not to mention that he grabbed Peach shortly after your little run-in with those four guys. But Vanessa and I—we just had to do what we had to do, y'know?"
"No harm done," Mario told him. "This latest go-round took a lot out of us, and we were still a little shaken from our experience in World 5. Had we faced off with that turtle, it wouldn't have been pretty."
"Still—we wanna make it up to you," said Theo. Then, his face brightened. "Hey—I have an idea. How about we have lunch tomorrow? Just us two guys?"
"I'll have to check my matchup schedule," said Mario, "but I'm up for that. What restaurant do you have in mind?"
"I know this totally awesome seafood place right next to Lake Merritt in Oakland," said Theo. "It's called Lake Chalet. What do you say we meet at around—1p.m.?"
"I'll talk to Master Hand, shall I?" replied Mario.
"Okay," said Theo.
"And I'll also talk to my bro," added Mario. "If he's fighting a particularly intimidating opponent, I'll need to be here to give him my support."
"Understood," said Theo.
"I'll keep the kids busy," Vanessa chimed in. "I'll take them to the park. And then we'll get ice cream."
"Yay! Ice cream!" cheered Anna.
They turned back toward the action in time to see Luigi kick Kyle off his feet, grab him and then combo his down throw into a double u-air and then a f-air. Mario frowned lightly when he saw the bruises and sword slashes marring his baby bro. But the man in green didn't appear too impeded by those injuries; he was more breathless than anything else, but still fighting on.
"I've really missed this," murmured Mario.
"So have I," said Peach.
They fell silent as Luigi pulled off his most ambitious combo to date. Down throw into triple f-air and u-air, fast-fall into u-tilt and double f-air. It was a combo that really had tongues wagging, people speculating over just how long Luigi had spent practicing to get that beast nice and polished. Just as the spectators recovered their breath, they watched him play around some more with his jump-kick, throwing it out of a short hop rather than a full jump and effortlessly segueing it into a d-air and a b-air, or a u-air and a Cyclone. And then he fiddled around with his u-air, following it up with a u-tilt, another u-air and a b-air, eventually extending it into a u-air to u-tilt to u-air to f-air, and finally a u-air to u-tilt to u-air to Cyclone.
Falco, Chad, the Bennigan Brothers and the participants of Project Nerf sat in contemplative silence as Luigi and Kyle battled. The former certainly had a steadier footing than during the first few days of the update patch. His muscle memory was no longer getting in the way, and he was no longer at a gross disadvantage. He could stand up to the Mii's sword with his fists, feet and fireballs, and he could care less about what his detractors thought of him. Throughout the match, he pieced together interesting combos involving lesser-known moves, even starting from simple jabs and spin-kicks. If Kyle managed to escape a combo, then he didn't dwell on it for long. He fought defensively until he regrouped, and then he tried again. When he took Kyle's next stock with a down throw to f-air to up-B, he felt especially accomplished.
"You see that?" crowed Eden. "You dumped on him and got him nerfed for nothing!"
"She's right," Falco whispered to Chad, who nodded.
Smash attacks flew between the two opponents before Luigi took a deep breath, grabbed Kyle, slammed him down and faked a f-air before surprising him with a jump-kick and a Cyclone. Mario was positively beaming at his clever lil' bro, but the surprises didn't end there. The man in green started using his Smash attacks as springboards for viable setups, pulling off combos involving more than one grab and throw. His down smash, in particular, stunned Kyle long enough for a re-grab. Toward the end of the bout, Luigi really mixed things up, utilizing his forward throw, his special moves, his pummels and all of his tilts. Kyle deflected and countered and generally did what he can, but at this point, he was finished.
Soon, the Mii Swordfighter was down to his last stock, while Luigi had only lost two. Both combatants were breathing hard and giving it everything they had. But in Kyle's eyes, there was newfound respect for Luigi. The guy had withstood everything the swordsman had thrown at him and demonstrated remarkable cleverness and creativity. Perhaps that was what made him so easy to befriend. Maybe if the Mii hadn't been so fixated on those combos, he would've earned Luigi's friendship, as well. But it was too late for that—or was it?
Kyle managed to force Luigi to the ledge, only for the latter to flip himself back up, grab the former, Ground-Pound him and end the match with one last, fierce combo—a down-throw to n-air and a mighty Super Jump Punch. He watched as Kyle flew skyward into the upper blast line. And then he closed his eyes and exhaled as he heard MH's booming voice utter those two fateful words:
"GAME SET!"
1.1.1
Luigi was pleasantly surprised when Kyle offered a handshake once his victory was announced.
"Great job out there," Kyle said sincerely.
"Thanks," said Luigi.
"I'd like us to start fresh and be friends," Kyle went on.
"And I'd like that, too," smiled Luigi. "Just be careful around Mario, okay?"
"Okay," said Kyle.
Kyle hurried off toward the locker room, and Luigi turned as Mario dashed forward and enveloped him in a hug.
"It's good to have you back on the battlefield, Bro," Mario said softly.
Luigi held Mario close. "It's good to be back," he replied.
They separated and exchanged broad smiles.
"See you later," said Mario.
"Okeydokey," replied Luigi.
As Mario took his leave, Luigi's phone rang.
He answered with a breathy "Hello?"
"Hi, sweetie!" chirped Daisy's voice. "I just saw you on TV, and—wow!"
"I know, right?" laughed Luigi. "I kinda surprised myself back there."
"However, that's not the only reason why I called," said Daisy, her voice turning serious.
"What happened?" asked Luigi.
"I found the mole who leaked the info about Chad's secret meeting to Mr. Sakurai," said Daisy. "Turns out, he was one of my personal bodyguards. The second I found out, I had him seized and taken into custody. I need some advice, Luigi. What do you think I should do with him?"
Luigi thought it over. "Call Master Hand," he said. "Have him arrange the mole's transport to the Smash Mansion. I'm confident that we can win him over to our side."
"Consider it done," said Daisy.
"And Daisy?"
"Yeah?"
"Don't hurt him—too badly."
"I can't promise you anything."
Luigi giggled. "That's the Daisy I know," he said. "But seriously—try to keep it together. I know you want to jump to my defense, but…"
"I see what you're saying. But don't worry—no bones will be broken."
"Great. Love you, Daisy."
"Love you, too. Bye."
The call ended, and Luigi headed toward the showers, hoping to get some relaxation in before his next match.
1.1.1
Crazy Hand sat at his desk, fuming, a prisoner in his own office. This was far from how things were supposed to work out. He thought he'd had a tight leash on Chad, but obviously, he'd thought wrong. Now that Chad had defied him and the two Steves, exposed them, and told them off, everything he'd carefully built was tumbling down around him, and there wasn't anything he could do about it. At this rate, he could only pray that he'd be able to keep his job.
His phone rang, and he answered with a curt "Smash Mansion, Crazy Hand speaking."
"Hello, Crazy Hand," said the voice on the other end. "I'm one of Mr. Sakurai's bodyguards. We found the mole."
"It was Jeff, wasn't it?" hissed CH.
"It was Jeff."
"I should've known," huffed CH. "Always willing to accommodate us, always loyal to Mr. S. It was almost too good to be true."
"What should be our next move, Crazy Hand?"
"Do with him as you will," CH said sinisterly. "Make him an example. Show him that there are consequences to knifing his boss in the back."
"Will do."
CH hung up and reclined in his chair. If he was on his way down, then he'd go down in a blaze of glory. Sweet revenge would be had. And everyone in the Smash World and beyond would know the power of the Hand of Destruction.
1.1.1
"Seriously? Mr. S offers you a well-paying job, and you thank him by throwing it in his face? You didn't actually think you'd get away with it, did you?"
Ominously, Reggie circled his prisoner, stripped to the waist and bound hand-and-foot to a swivel chair. Blood was smeared on the prisoner's face, and he was covered in bruises. But despite his predicament, Jeff wasn't concerned for his own safety—only Chad's and Charlie's.
"You were well on your way to a promotion, Jeff," Reggie went on, applying ice to his cut and battered knuckles. "I can't believe you'd throw it all away. And for who? Chad Wrainwright?"
"He was already regretting his actions," Jeff said bravely. "Crazy Hand had no reason to torment him further."
"Chad was a whiny saltlord who was answering for his actions," Reggie shot back.
"Says the man who answers to the one who blamed Luigi for his financial misfortune?" snapped Jeff. "All I hear is the pot calling the kettle black."
"Well," Reggie said sweetly. "To each his own."
Reggie's phone sang out, and he smiled at Jeff. "I have to take this phone call," he said. "I hope you don't mind."
"Knock yourself out," snarked Jeff.
Reggie hit "Answer" on his cell phone. "Yeah?"
"Our mole's been rooted out," warned the voice on the other end. "He managed to send out an S.O.S. before being overwhelmed."
"Just when things couldn't get any worse," sighed Reggie. "Well—let them have him. For now. I'm confident we'll figure something out."
"Understood," said the voice.
As Reggie ended the call, the door opened, and several men in suits walked in.
"Hey, Reg," said one of the men. "We just notified the boss. He'll be here sometime tomorrow."
"Great," said Reggie.
"Until then, however," said the man, grinning at Jeff like a shark. "Crazy Hand gave us the go-ahead to do whatever we please to Mr. Mole here."
"Bring it on," growled Jeff as the men closed in on him, rolling up their sleeves and cracking their knuckles. "I can take it."
And he could. He really could.
1.1.1
It was late evening in the Smash Mansion. The last matches had been fought, and everyone ate dinner before retiring to their rooms and preparing for bed. Since the Mario Bros were back in the game, a sense of normalcy was slowly returning to the tournament. And perhaps a day would come when Project Nerf and patch 1.1.1 would be completely in the rearview mirror.
"Okay, you know what? This is getting ridiculous!"
Chad spoke those words as he stormed out of his bedroom and down the hall. He was tired of being at the mercy of these marshmallowy balls. Tonight, he was finally gonna do something about this mess.
With his long strides, Chad soon reached Luigi's room and knocked on the door. "Hey, L. Got a minute?" he asked.
The door opened, and Luigi stepped out, still wearing his overalls and shirt. "Hey, Chad," he said.
"First of all, I'm glad you're back," said Chad. "Second of all, I'm glad I caught you before you turned in for the night."
"I probably won't be able to sleep anyway," Luigi replied. "What's this about?"
"That—brings me to the third thing," said Chad, clearing his throat. "Currently, I'm experiencing a little problem which requires—a certain—skillset—of yours."
Luigi understood immediately. "How bad?" he asked.
"Well, they're Boos," shrugged Chad. "Pretty self-explanatory."
"Give me a minute," Luigi said quietly. "I'll meet you there."
"Thank you," said Chad, heading back toward his own room and waiting at the door.
He didn't have long to wait, as Luigi soon joined him, the Poltergust 5000 snugly but securely strapped on and ready to roll.
"Wow," mused Chad, checking his watch. "That was 45 seconds."
"You were timing me?" asked Luigi.
"Well, you said to give you a minute," Chad said wryly, "but it actually took you less than that to get ready and…" He sighed. "Let me just—show you what's going on."
"Allow me," said Luigi, opening the door and creeping inside, the vacuum nozzle hefted in his hands.
Chad walked behind him, watching the beam of Luigi's flashlight skim his bedroom.
"As you can see, a lot of my furniture is missing," he said. "My nightstand, my desk, half of my clothes—my toilet. Speaking of which, do you mind taking care of the bathroom first? I really have to, you know."
"Okay," said Luigi, and the two men proceeded to Chad's bathroom.
Both the toilet and the bathtub were nowhere in sight when they entered.
"Hey, Chad," said Luigi. "Watch this."
He pressed a button on his flashlight, emitting a rainbow-colored beam. Slowly, the toilet's outline came into focus, and then several white, spherical objects were expelled into the air.
"Are those Spirit Balls?" asked Chad.
"Yeah," said Luigi, quickly vacuuming them up. "How did Boos find their way inside the Smash Mansion, anyhow?"
"Beats me," replied Chad.
Luigi then trained his Dark-Light Device on the bathtub, drawing out the Spirit Balls and sucking them up.
Chad exhaled in relief. "Thanks, man," he said. "You got this from here, right?"
Luigi bit his lip. "I got it."
"Great. Carry on, then."
"You're being very helpful, Chad," said Luigi as he exited the bathroom.
Chad shut the door, allowing him to relieve himself, wash his hands, brush his teeth and wash his face. Just as he finished, a Boo popped out of the medicine cabinet, cackling.
"Okay, ha-ha-ha. Very funny," eyerolled Chad, opening the bathroom door and striding out.
"L?" he called out. "I found one."
Luigi spun around. "Where?" he asked.
"Medicine cabinet."
Chad moved aside, allowing Luigi to flash the Boo with his DLD, yank them by their tongue and then release them like a slingshot, bouncing them around and rendering them dazed long enough for him to capture them.
"There's more, though," warned Chad.
"I'm aware. Boos normally attack in groups," said Luigi. "Chad, I'm gonna have to ask you to step outside, please. This could get ugly, and I don't want you caught in the middle."
"All right," said Chad. "Show 'em who's boss, L."
Chad reached for the doorknob, only for it to suddenly vanish.
"Okay, that's not good," he muttered.
"You're not going anywhere, Chad," giggled a high-pitched voice. "We just wanna play with you."
Luigi spoke calmly in a low voice as he readied his reliable vacuum. "Chad. Get behind me."
Chad obliged, quickly plucking a bike light from his dresser drawer.
The Boos materialized, surrounding the two men and licking out their long tongues. Chad heard Luigi's breath catch, but then the man in green steadily streamed it out. "I'm gonna get you out of this, okay?" he promised.
"I trust you," Chad said, just as calmly.
"Thank you. That's all I need to know."
And then he leaped into action.
His DLD illuminated the bedroom in a rainbow hue. His vacuum whirred at full tilt. The Boos wound up disoriented and reeling in the air, fighting in vain against the powerful suction. But Chad didn't just stand their helplessly. He used the bike light he'd grabbed, the bright, rapidly blinking light stopping Boos in their tracks and preventing them from sneak-attacking Luigi.
"C'mon, you two," said a Boo. "Let's have some fun!"
"Not tonight," Chad retorted, grabbing a second bike light and shining both in the Boo's face, allowing Luigi to pounce on them with the vacuum.
The remaining Boos whipped their tongues at the pair and tried to barrel into them, but Luigi and Chad used the room's space to evade these attacks as best they could.
"A little music, maybe?" Luigi suggested after a while.
"You think it'll work?" asked Chad.
"Not for them," clarified Luigi, turning his vacuum on the next Boo that came his way. "For us."
"Makes sense," said Chad, hurrying over to his music player, switching it on and turning the volume to as loud as they could tolerate. A hauntingly appropriate electronic tune began pounding through the room as the duo continued facing off against the ghostly intruders.
Think of me, I'll never break your heart.
Think of me, you're always in the dark.
I am your light, your light, your light.
Think of me, you're never in the dark…
"He knows about the Smash Mansion," Chad heard Luigi whisper. "He knows about the Smash Mansion. He's gonna come after everyone. I can't let that happen. I won't let that happen."
"I don't know if he had anything to do with it," said Chad, flashing multiple Boos with his bike lights so that Luigi could suck them into his vacuum. "Maybe it was just a coincidence."
"You don't know him like I do," breathed Luigi. "That turtle just wants me and Mario out of the way so he can get Peach. He wants to utterly destroy me."
"He won't," Chad assured him. "I know you, L. You have a big heart, and you bounced back after getting nerfed. It's gonna take more than a giant marshmallow to destroy you."
Luigi spun on his heels and caught a Boo in the Dark Light as they lunged forward, while Chad held another in place with his bike lights.
"I've got an idea, L," said Chad. "Try to knock that Boo into this one!"
Pulling hard on the Boo's tongue, Luigi took aim and then released the suction, turning the two Boos into pool cue balls.
"Boo quarter puck," quipped Chad.
Luigi then turned his DLD on the doorknob, purging the Spirit Balls from it and causing it to rematerialize. "Wait outside," he said. "I'll take it from here."
"Luigi…"
"I wasn't asking," Luigi cut him off, opening the door and gently shoving Chad through.
Chad gasped as the door closed and then locked from the inside.
"Why are you protecting me, man?" asked Chad. "After what I did to you—why?"
There was no answer, save for the music and the sounds of battle.
Restlessly, Chad paced in front of his room as the minutes dragged by. The song on the music player transitioned into the next one—"Orinoco Flow". Boos giggled and squealed. The Poltergust whirred. Luigi gasped in pain and/or surprise and breathed deeply. And the sounds bled together until Chad shut them out entirely.
He allowed the sounds to fade back in once the lock on the door disengaged and the door opened.
"Okay," said Luigi. "You can come in now."
"They're gone?" asked Chad.
"Yeah. That's the last of them."
Chad entered his room, and his face split into a titanic grin. Everything was back in its proper place, the chill he'd felt replaced by a comforting warmth.
He turned back to Luigi and wrung him by the hand. "Thank you, L. Thank you!" he exclaimed.
"You're welcome," replied Luigi.
Then, Chad looked Luigi over. His eyes were dilated, his cap was jostled, his hair was in slight disarray and he was plastered all over with sweat. There were gashes on his body from the Boos' attacks, and there were bite marks, too.
"Oh, wow," breathed Chad. "We'd better patch you up."
"Not until I take care of the Boos," said Luigi. "I'll call Professor Gadd and tell him what's going on."
Both men jumped at the sounds of muffled banging and yelling. It seemed to be coming from within the Poltergust.
"Hey! Let us out of here!"
Chad recognized that voice. "Steve?" he asked. "Wh—what are you doing in there?"
"Long story!" Steve's voice replied. "Please, just let us out!"
"You'd better not try anything," snapped Chad.
"Scout's honor!" piped up Stevie's voice.
Chad nodded to Luigi, who reversed the Poltergust's suction and ejected the two Steves from the vacuum. They lay on the floor, looking dazed and disheveled, as Luigi held the nozzle on them.
"Don't move," he warned.
"Uh—we can explain," Steve said, a little meekly.
Eden and Lauren ran over, joined by Timmy and Jimmy.
"What's going on in here?" asked Eden.
"Yeah, is everyone okay?" added Lauren.
"Everyone's fine," said Chad. "The situation is under control."
The two ladies frowned when they saw the two Steves crumpled on the floor.
"Hey! You're supposed to be in your rooms!" barked Lauren.
"They—were—in their rooms," Eden said, confused. "H—how can they be in multiple places at once?"
"And how did you end up in a ghost vacuum?" Chad wanted to know.
Luigi's face brightened in realization. "A Boo Mushroom," he said.
"Pardon?" asked Jimmy.
"These two must've gotten their hands on some Boo Mushrooms," explained Luigi. "It's a power-up that turns the user into a Boo. And…"
His Poltergust rumbled again, and he pointed the nozzle at the floor and expelled additional pairs of Steves. "They got their hands on Double Cherries, too!" he exclaimed.
"Double Cherries?" repeated Timmy. "From your adventure in the Sprixie Kingdom?"
"How did they get their hands on Boo Mushrooms and Double Cherries?" Jimmy wanted to know.
Luigi glared at the two Steves. "Both of you. Explain yourselves. Now."
Steve and Stevie knew they were beat.
"We got them from Crazy Hand," Stevie sullenly confessed.
"A gift from Mr. Sakurai," added Steve.
"After we found out about the meeting, we knew we had to make you pay," said Stevie.
"We just never expected you to get some help," huffed Steve.
"What the Hell else was I supposed to do?" challenged Chad. "Sit there and take it? You could've seriously injured me! Look at Luigi—he's bleeding!"
The two Steves shrugged indifferently. "Collateral damage," they said in unison.
Chad and Luigi shook their heads, appalled by the lack of remorse.
"Come along, you two," said Jimmy as he and Timmy hauled the two Steves off to Master Hand's office.
Eden offered her hand to Luigi. "MH will probably want to talk to you about it, too," she said.
"Dear God," said Lauren as she sized up Luigi's injuries. "They got you good."
Luigi took Eden's hand. "Part of the job," he said as the two of them walked out, Lauren and Chad bringing up the rear.
1.1.1
Master Hand listened calmly as Luigi and Chad told him about what happened. Then, he glared at the two Steves.
"You just don't know when enough is enough, do you?" he asked.
The two Steves were silent.
"Very well," said Master Hand. "Jimmy and Timmy, I want their rooms searched top to bottom first thing tomorrow morning. In the meantime, escort these two to a different room and keep them there under guard. If they so much as cough or sneeze in a manner you find suspicious, I want to be the first to know."
Jimmy and Timmy nodded before marching the two Steves away.
"Chad," MH said in a quieter tone, "if you wish, I can arrange hotel accommodations for a few nights."
"Why don't you just cut out the middlemen and expel those two b—ds?" Luigi broke in.
"I'm still trying to figure out what to do with my brother and Sakurai," explained MH. "Rest assured, we'll keep you both safe."
"Looks like I have no choice," said Chad. "Go ahead and call the hotel, set things up."
"I'll do it," said Lauren, walking over to the phone and dialing the hotel.
"Luigi—I can't thank you enough," said Chad.
"I'm glad you swallowed your pride and came to me," said Luigi, "and before you ask why I wanted to protect you, it was because I wanted to. You did and said a lot of awful things to me, but you clawed your way out of Project Nerf's web before it was too late, you called that meeting so that you and others could confess, and you're taking steps to right your wrongs. You know that I don't hold grudges, and that I'm quick to forgive under the right circumstances." Smiling, he clasped Chad's hand. "Stay safe, okay?"
"Okay," said Chad. "I'd better pack. Thanks again, Luigi."
And then he turned and strode out.
"Luigi," said MH. "Once again, you performed an act of courage and selflessness, and you were even willing to help a man who harmed you in the past. Truly, you never cease to surprise me."
Luigi hummed. "So—did I break any rules?" he coolly asked.
"Not that I know of," replied MH. "You acted instinctively, and you didn't know that the attackers were Smashers using Boo Mushrooms and Double Cherries. You're good, Luigi. No penalty is in order. However…"
Luigi drew in a breath.
"…you need to see Dr. Mario and get those wounds looked at. Earlier today, Koopa tried to sneak in, but it's hard to be stealthy when you have heavy footfalls. Anyway, he was brought into my office, where I administered his punishment." MH smiled. "He'll be fighting you, Mario and Peach tomorrow, in three separate one-on-one battles. I figured you could use the catharsis."
"You're right about that," said Luigi.
"Run along, now. You'll need to be well-rested and at full health before facing that turtle."
"Okeydokey. Night-night, Master Hand."
"Good night, Luigi."
The Hand of Creation watched as Eden helped Luigi out of his office. Then, he turned to help Lauren finish making Chad's hotel reservation.
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