Savage

by awalkerlifeforme

She was everything people feared. She wanted to defend the world but also wanted revenge on those who wrecked hers. The ones who forced her to leave Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes. Now she's back and while Steve attempts to get back the woman he's always considered his sister, Bucky hopes to thaw the ice that has formed around her heart. A heart that he had always believed was his.

46. Chapter 44

Third Person P.O.V.

An Army base was normally full of life. People could be heard chattering across the base, troops were running to whatever mission they needed to deploy for, and airplanes could be heard overheard coming in and out of the base. Today the base was deathly quiet. News of the mission to capture Arnim Zola had circled the base shortly after their return. There was plenty of curiosity surrounding what had happened on the mission while they were gone - as they had left without a word and returned with Zola in hand - but no one had yet dared ask.

No one had needed to ask the obvious question. It was very obvious upon their team's arrival to the base what had happened. The looks on their faces had been indicative that something was wrong but that wasn't what had given it away. The truth had come when those waiting for their return had realized that their team was missing one normally very loud individual. It was a loss that weighed heavily on everyone, even those who hadn't known him well. The mission had been a perfect success, but no one had worn smiles.

The base had never been as silent as it was now. Many people had been moved off of the base as the area of London they were based in had been deemed dangerous. Those who remained had been explicitly instructed to do their jobs and nothing more. That didn't mean that there wasn't gossip floating between those who hadn't been ordered away. The base had turned to Victoria to see how she was handling the reality of her life now, but she'd given no indication. No one had seen her since they had returned from their mission the day prior.

When their group had returned to the base a few hours after initially leaving the base, Victoria had been at the front of the pack. Unlike the other times they'd returned, no one was speaking or cheering or laughing. All gazes had turned to Victoria first. Her eyes were pitch black as she walked, fury radiating off of her being. The cracks in her skin were blood-red as her core temperature heated up. No one was able to stand within a few meters of her. She was too hot, irradiating everything within her touch. They had all stumbled back from her.

Her being screamed that she was dangerous. The normal chatter the others were used to whenever her team returned from a mission was no more. None of the men were speaking to each other. Gabe was somewhat green in the face. Steve's eyes were rimmed red with tears as his short nails bit into his palms. He was staggering slightly as he walked. It looked almost like he was drunk. he rest of the men's eyes were aimed down at the ground, each unable to meet anyone else's. Particularly not Victoria's. No one even managed a glance in her direction.

The crowd that had gathered to watch all fell silent at the looks on their faces. No one needed to speak. Everyone knew something terrible had happened while they were gone. Victoria's gaze was set straight ahead of her; her arms were on fire and crackling slightly, the sparks of electricity were shooting off her body. No one knew if it was to keep people away from her or if she was genuinely that angry. All they knew was that she looked like she was ready to kill anyone who got within spitting distance of her.

The silence around them was deafening. Any chatter that had been in the room before their team had entered died at the sight of them. They looked curious but no one dared to break the tense silence. Everyone was terrified at the sight. Two armed guards held a frightened-looking Arnim Zola in their hands. The men walked close together, their eyes rimmed with red. Gabe now looked ready to pass out. Steve staggered toward the edge of the crowd, refusing any help to walk. None of their team knew what to say when inevitably the other three from their team would come to try to talk to them.

As their team got closer to the center of the entrance hall the evil look in Victoria's eyes became even more frightening. The people standing closest to them stumbled back in fear at the look on their faces. Chester, Howard, and Peggy came darting forward from where they had been waiting in the war room. There were already smiles on their faces. They hadn't realized the truth of what had happened yet. The men in their team broke forward, moving past Victoria. None of them wanted her to have to be the one to explain what had happened. They didn't even know if she could.

Since the men were now in the front of their line, the three remaining members of their team darted up to them. "You found him," Chester said breathlessly, looking back at Zola.

"You ever doubted them?" Howard asked excitedly.

There was a brief moment of panic as the men tried to figure out a way to stop Chester and Howard from getting to Victoria. Finally, Dum Dum rushed forward and took Chester by the shoulders to stop him. "Colonel Phillips, wait up for a second," Dum Dum said, keeping his grip tight enough to ensure Chester couldn't continue. "We need to talk."

"We can talk later, Dugan," Chester said carelessly, trying to push past him.

"Listen to us!" Dum Dum shouted, angrier than anyone had heard him before. Chester jumped, looking shocked that one of his subordinates dared speak to him like that. "It didn't... it didn't go well."

"What do you mean? Zola's right -" Chester stopped speaking when he took another look at the group. His face fell as he realized someone was missing. "Where's Barnes?" Chester asked sickly.

His face was beginning to turn as green as Gabe's was. No one was able to respond and tell them what had happened. Their gazes instead dropped to the ground as a few sniffles echoed through the room. Chester looked around a third time as the truth finally hit him. Steve looked to be holding back tears as Victoria lived the human embodiment of fury. The truth smashed Chester over the head like a hammer. His heart shattered into a thousand pieces as he stared at his daughter. The pain and heartache were written all over her face underneath the obvious anger.

"Victoria," Chester breathed as his voice broke.

The gazes being exchanged between the group ranged from heartbroken to confused to furious. Howard looked like he couldn't believe what was going on. It was obvious that he, for once, didn't know what to say. Peggy had tears welling in her eyes as she went to reach out for her best friend. She couldn't get close enough to touch her without the skin melting off her bones. She pulled back suddenly and reached out to latch onto Howard's shoulder. It looked like her legs were threatening to give out. Chester pushed past them but couldn't get more than a few steps away from his daughter.

"Love -" Peggy begged, stopping her comment dead in its tracks.

Victoria didn't appreciate any comment being directed toward her. She wanted to be left alone, that much was obvious. Her gaze rose just long enough to show off her pitch-black eyes. There were black cracks that had formed underneath her eyes and surrounding them. The black cracks faded into red ones the further down her body they went. It was a wave of anger no one had ever seen in her. She had been angry plenty of times - at them and everyone else - but no one had ever seen this. Anger enough to murder anyone in sight of her.

The concrete flooring underneath her feet melted under her and Peggy gasped slightly, stumbling back. The melted concrete flowed down toward her and she cringed as it melted through her shoes. She could feel the blistering against her toes. It wasn't just that. Peggy could feel the building trembling under the pressure Victoria had built up. If she wasn't careful, Peggy was certain Victoria would blow the building to pieces. Even if she didn't, Peggy was certain someone would die. More than those who already had.

The base and city had been bombed while their group was gone. The base had survived but hundreds of civilians in the area had been killed. This was the moment that was supposed to make the attack worth it. Instead, this moment had killed any chance of happiness they'd had. Their return with Zola was supposed to be the one good part of the day. But there was nothing positive about this situation. Peggy looked between Howard and Chester, both of whom looked petrified. The day had quickly turned to a disaster.

No one had the slightest clue of what they were supposed to say. Not to her or anyone else. Howard's mouth opened a few times but he could find nothing to say to his dear friend. Nothing she would want to hear. Nothing that wouldn't seem moronic. Victoria's gaze remained firmly fixed on the ground as Chester went to walk up to her again. He was once more stopped by the intense heat surrounding her. He tried to search for something to say to her when two government workers broke through the watching crowd.

"What the hell do you think your team is doing, capturing a man meant for U.S. Forces?" the first man snapped, storming up to Chester.

The two men appeared to be in their late thirties or early forties, neither looking too thrilled to be at the base. Their gazes were on Zola and Chester gave the two soldiers holding him a nod, silently instructing them to keep Zola in their hands. There was no way after everything they'd gone through to get Zola and the things they'd lost that they were going to give him up. The two men both advanced on Zola again but were cut off by the men. Chester cleared his throat and scowled at them. None of their team needed this right now. They needed to mourn.

"He's here. He's ours," Chester snapped at them.

"Arnim Zola is a war criminal. He's coming with us," the first man said.

"You can have him when we're done with him," Chester offered.

They needed to find out where the last Hydra base was. Once they had those details, the others could do with Zola as they pleased. "You're done with him," the man snapped.

He made a move to advance again before Chester stepped forward, cutting off his movement. "We did the work here. We found him and were authorized to board the train. We were the only ones who were able to catch him," Chester argued.

The man merely laughed. "We appreciate what you've done with the war efforts. We appreciate you capturing Arnim Zola, but we will be taking him," he said determinedly.

"We'd also like a few words with her," the second man said, speaking for the first time.

It took them all a moment to realize he was looking at Victoria. Her gaze was still on the floor. She didn't look the slightest bit concerned that someone wanted to take her. "Get away from her," Peggy said defensively, stepping in front of her best friend.

"This is not the right time," Howard told the men.

"Please, let us speak with her. She has a few crimes to answer to," the first man said.

This was the wrong time for any of them to be questioning Victoria on what she'd done. She needed to mourn in peace. "You've overstepped your bounds. Off my base, now," Chester warned dangerously.

"Gladly. With those two," the second man said, motioning between Victoria and Zola.

There was some scattered yelling from the rest of the group as the two men attempted to advance on Victoria. Chester was the first to try and push them away, but they were younger and in better shape. They shoved Peggy aside carelessly and began knocking aside the rest of the men. The two government workers were much stronger than the rest of them had been expecting. Victoria was the only one to make no movements as the men came toward her. She didn't even twitch as they reached out for her. The rest of her friends moved to defend her when the unthinkable happened.

They should have all known that Victoria didn't need anyone to protect her. She could handle herself just fine. It was the two men attempting to grab her they needed to worry for. The two men were thrown off their feet by an invisible source at near-supersonic speeds. The crowd screamed as the two men slammed into the metal walls near the ceiling with deafening thuds and cracks. Their bodies hit the ground a moment later, completely crushed in. Their bones were bent in at odd angles from the impact and their eyes appeared to be melted back into their skulls.

As the screams wound down gazes all over the room slowly turned back to Victoria, who looked unaffected. She simply stared at the bodies of the men carelessly. She very slowly moved out of her spot toward the barracks as the concrete floors melted under her steps. Everyone stumbled back from her in fear. Even her friends made no move to follow her as her glowing red body vanished around the corner. Steve, who would have normally called her out on her behavior, just looked at them for a moment before following in her footsteps, leaving the room in shock and silence.

Just a day later after having cleared out the bodies of the federal agents from the building, the remaining members of the team gathered in their usual spots in the war room to discuss what was supposed to happen next. It was the first time in a long time they had no real plan. Both Victoria and Steve were still missing. Neither one of them had been seen since their group had arrived back at the base yesterday. Chester stood with a friend of his, Colonel Ford, who would ensure no one knew about the dead men.

"The bodies?" Chester asked quietly.

"Buried, Colonel," Ford said.

"You know what to do if anyone asks about them," Chester replied.

"Yes, sir," Colonel Ford said.

They had to ensure no one knew about Victoria and what she'd done. The younger man walked off with a few other soldiers. No one else was anywhere near them, not that Chester could be surprised. Most people had been ordered off the base and sent home as very few people still needed to be here. Plus, they all had to be honest. Those who had remained were afraid someone would come forward and try to kill her or the reverse. They all knew how dangerous she was right now. So, Howard, Peggy, Chester, and the rest of the men stood around the table and stared at each other.

The awkwardness was thick in the air. Since Steve and Victoria wouldn't talk or even come near them, they had to get the story pieced together by the rest of the men. It was difficult to find out the entire story as Gabe had been the only other one on the train. He told the others the story as best he could; they were separated, Victoria had to protect him, and Bucky was thrown from the train. Steve had been too slow to save his best friend and Victoria had been protecting Gabe from what would have been a fatal bullet wound in the meantime.

"Has anyone been able to speak to her?" Chester asked once the story was finished.

"She won't open the door or talk to anyone. She's not accepting food or water," Peggy said, running her finger along the rim of her now ice-cold tea mug. "She's devastated."

"He just died yesterday," Gabe said. "We have to give her some time. Steve isn't talking to anyone right now either."

"Steve also hasn't tried killing anyone since it happened," Jim pointed out.

They all swallowed thickly. He didn't mean the two federal agents who had tried to take her yesterday. He meant one of the younger soldiers who had tried to open her door last night to bring her dinner. He hadn't gotten the chance to even look at her before he'd been blown back through the wall and the door slammed behind him. He had ended up with two herniated discs, a broken leg, and a broken arm. He had been sent home on medical leave with a threat from Chester to never tell the truth about what had injured him.

No one wanted to blame Victoria, but it was getting harder to pretend that she wasn't getting too dangerous. "We should have known it was too soon to send someone to see her," Peggy argued weakly. They barely nodded their agreement. "Someone other than Steve."

"Are they together?" Howard asked her curiously.

Peggy shook her head. "No. They're both holed up in their rooms."

Which was exactly where neither one of them should have been. "I'd feel better if they were at least together," Howard said quietly. "They both loved him more than anything. They should be mourning him together."

"They'll have to process it on their own in their own time. You can't force it," Peggy reasoned.

They all stood there and looked down at the ground. Forcing her to do anything was bound to get someone killed right now. No one had the right mind to force anything anyway. They couldn't believe this had happened. Bucky, the happiest one of any of them, had fallen to his death mere days before he was supposed to be married to Victoria. The two of them undoubtedly belonged to each other but somehow they had been forced apart. They were never going to get the happy ending they both deserved.

"It was my fault," Gabe said suddenly.

"How could you think it was your fault?" Peggy asked.

"Weren't you listening?" Gabe snapped, meaner than he'd meant to. He lowered his voice as he continued speaking. "You know exactly how it was my fault. I was cornered by a couple of Hydra guards when Bucky was blasted out. I saw how panicked she was but she thought Steve could save him. She saved me. She was so busy making sure I was okay that she couldn't reach him in time."

"You can't blame yourself. It was Hydra, not you," Jim said.

"Try explaining that to Victoria," Gabe huffed.

"She doesn't blame you. She never would," James said reasonably.

"She's hurt. Anything she says or does right now should be taken lightly. She's going to lash out and say and do things she doesn't mean," Jacques pointed out.

They all knew he was talking about her murder of the two federal agents and the injured man from last night. "Gabe, it wasn't your fault," Howard said, resting an arm on his shoulder. "In time, she's going to see that."

Gabe shook his head. "It was," Gabe said, his voice shaking. Outside of Victoria and Steve, he was likely the most affected by Bucky's death seeing as he believed it was his fault. "If I'd been a little faster, if I'd killed those Hydra guards the moment I'd seen them, she would have never been there to have to save me. She would have been able to save him."

To their surprise, Chester was the one trying to make Gabe feel better. "No one wanted to see Sergeant -" Chester stopped speaking, swallowing thickly. "No one wanted to see Bucky die. Not even me." It was the first time any of them had heard him call Bucky by his nickname. "We'll help Victoria through this, whatever it takes. If some of us need to stay away from her a while. If we all need to give her some time."

"And if she's never ready to talk to us again?" Howard asked.

"She will," Peggy said confidently. "It's just going to take time."

Howard shook his head. "Victoria's not like a normal person -"

"She's no different than anyone else," Peggy said defensively. She had been the one to jump to Victoria's defense each time someone said anything negative about her actions. "She's hurting right now. The only difference is that her powers are going haywire right now. That's not something she can or cares to help stop. She'll be okay. She just needs time."

"In the meantime?" Dum Dum asked.

"We be there for her however she needs us," Chester said.

"I don't think she wants anyone near her," Howard said.

"She won't want to be alone forever," Peggy said.

"He died yesterday. She needs time to properly mourn," Jacques pointed out.

"She needs to be around people who love her," Peggy said sadly.

"Would you want to see the pity on everyone's face?" Chester asked.

Peggy frowned. "No."

"Leave her to her thoughts for the time being," Jim said.

"That could be dangerous," Howard said quietly.

"Why's that?" Peggy asked.

Howard sighed before reaching down into his pocket and showing off a tiny dirt-covered white pill. "I found these discarded in the yard this morning. They were just outside her window," he explained.

"What are those?" Gabe asked curiously, taking it from Howard.

The only two people who showed any emotion were Chester and Peggy. They both knew how dangerous it was for her to not be using them. "It's a pill I designed for her to take once a week. It helps keep her calm and keeps her powers in check. It weakens her powers and helps level out her emotions. It's helped her blend into humanity as her powers have strengthened with age," Howard explained to the others.

"Now she's not taking them?" Dum Dum asked.

Howard reached further into his pocket and pulled out a bag full of the pills, dumping them on the table. "Doesn't seem that way. They keep her in a somewhat sedated state," Howard said quietly.

"If they keep her sedated, she should probably be taking them," Jim said quietly.

"Do you want to try and shove them down her throat?" Gabe asked.

"Maybe someone should go try and talk to her," Howard said.

"How?" Jacques asked.

The only person who had tried to talk to her so far had ended up half-dead. The rest of them weren't willing to risk her hurting them. "Maybe I should be the one to try. I need to say something to her," Gabe said thoughtfully.

"You will and she'll understand. But now's not the time," Peggy said hopefully.

"If she ever comes out of her room again," Howard muttered under his breath.

"She will, but it's only been a day. Give her some time. She needs to mourn him in her way," Peggy said.

"Her way is killing anyone who comes near her," Howard replied.

"Those men were out of line," Peggy argued.

"I don't disagree, but someone needs to say something to her. If she keeps it up like that she's going to undo all the progress she made with the public over the past few months," Howard said reasonably. He was right. She had to make sure she didn't make herself out to be the bad guy. "I don't want to see her hunted for the rest of her life because she hurt someone."

There was a long silence that passed after that. They all knew what she was capable of but no one wanted to believe it. "Maybe it's good that she's in her room. At least no one can see her in there," James said quietly.

"We're sure that's where she is?" Jim asked.

"Yes. I tried to get her to come out this morning," Peggy said.

"Did she say anything?" Chester asked.

"No, but I heard her crying," Peggy told him.

"If that's what she needs to do, we need to let her," Jim said.

"It's why I didn't push her to come out. I just left her breakfast at the door," Peggy said. She was shaking her head sadly. "I'm worried she won't eat it."

Chester shook his head at her. "She's not like us. She can go weeks without eating and still be fine."

"We can't let her do that," Howard said worriedly.

The last thing any of them wanted was for her to go that long without eating. It would kill a normal person. "I'm not forcing her to eat anything right now. I think she'd just be sick if she tried," Chester pointed out. It was as good a reason as any. Even the rest of their team were having a hard time forcing down food lately. "Once a few more days pass I'll say something. Her eating habits aren't my concern right now."

"Her mental state is," Peggy reasoned.

They all looked to the floor again. She was in a terrible place right now. It was up to them to help her. "It's fragile at the moment. I don't know if something could push her over the edge," Chester said slowly.

"Something?" Peggy asked curiously.

"Anything. We all know she has a short temper," Chester pointed out.

Saying Victoria had a short temper was the understatement of the century. "Victoria is angry and heartbroken right now, that doesn't mean we need to be afraid she'll snap," Peggy barked at him. It was one of the rare times she had raised her voice to someone. "She just needs a few days to recover and be alone. She'll need longer than that. We just have to be willing to work with her."

"I think the real problem will be getting her to be willing to work with us," Jim said.

"She will when she's ready," Peggy said confidently.

"She shouldn't be in there with his things surrounding her," Chester said sadly.

"Good luck telling her to leave," Dum Dum said.

Chester had a good point about Victoria not being around his things, but she likely wanted to be with them for comfort. "If she needs to be in there with his things for a while, let her. She's not the first person to want to be around their fallen loved one's things rather than another person. She wants to be alone right now. Let her," Peggy told them.

"We're sure she's still in there?" Chester asked Peggy.

"She was when I checked on her an hour ago," she said.

"We should have someone checking on her every half hour or so," Chester told the others.

"That often?" Howard asked him. "I'd think that would annoy her."

They had to be careful to toe the line between caring for her and upsetting her. "I just want to make sure that if she doesn't want to come out and be with us she won't go looking for trouble somewhere else," Chester told them.

Chester's obvious insinuation settled around the room as the team exchanged worried looks. Peggy was one of the first ones to catch onto what he was talking about. She realized - along with the rest of the team mere moments later - that he was worried she would go out and attack someone. It wouldn't have been that surprising. Victoria was well-known to react violently to things that upset her. More than a few times she had hurt someone because she was upset about something else. The two agents from the prior day were evidence of that.

What could they even bet on Victoria doing? Go after the rest of the Hydra agents, for one. They were the ones who were mostly responsible for Bucky's death. Killing them all might have been a mild way for her to get her revenge. Or, she could go kill Zola without getting the answers out of him. After all, it was the mission to capture Zola that had turned her life upside down. None of them could let her do that, of course. Zola was the only way they could get their answers for where Schmidt had vanished to.

"You're afraid that she'll do something," Peggy finally said, knowing no one else would say it.

Chester let out a breath that made him look extremely guilty. "I always said he was the one thing she couldn't afford to lose. I told him once that the only thing that kept me from killing him was that his death would destroy her," Chester said. They all nodded slowly. None of them knew whether or not she would be able to move on from this. "I love my daughter, but she's got a darkness in her that this might bring out."

"You saw what she did to the train and the Hydra soldiers when he fell," Howard added.

Just as the others started nodding, Peggy stepped forward and shoved them back. "You're talking about her like she's a wild animal. She's a woman who lost her fiancé mere days before they were to be married for god's sake. Let her mourn how she needs to," Peggy snapped nastily. There was an uncomfortable silence where no one could meet her eyes. She turned to Chester with a glare. "What, exactly, do you think she would do?"

"Something to set back the progress she's made so far," Chester told her.

"Meaning?" Gabe asked.

"Meaning he thinks she'll go off the deep end," Peggy reasoned.

"It's worth a conversation," Chester said.

"It is not. She'll be fine in time," Peggy said.

"In the meantime, are we supposed to do nothing?" Chester asked her.

The two were clearly about to get in a heated argument. Howard stepped in between them, trying to diffuse the situation while he still could. "What could we do? Nothing. We sit here and wait for her to come to us," he told them.

"If she takes off?" Chester asked.

The last thing any of them wanted was for her to leave and be alone. "Does it matter? We couldn't do anything," Jim said.

They were going around and around in circles and not getting anywhere. "What's the point of this conversation?" Dum Dum asked loudly, glaring at them. "If Victoria decides to take out her anger on someone - on us, on someone who hurt her before, or on a random stranger - there's not much we can do. She overpowers us all without effort."

"So, we let her run wild?" Chester asked.

"You're automatically assuming she's going to do something terrible. She's upset and hurt right now and here you are thinking she'll do something awful. Why don't you let her mourn in her way before condemning her?" Peggy hissed.

"I'm not condemning her -"

"You are," Peggy interrupted.

"I'm trying to keep everyone - including her - safe!" Chester shouted.

"Shut up!" Howard yelled, effectively silencing the argument. They all jumped, not having been expecting Howard to yell. "Do you want her accidentally overhearing us? If there's anything that will make her snap, it's hearing her best friends and family think she's going to become the one thing she's always feared becoming. The villain."

Gabe shook his head. "She's not a villain. We all know that."

There was an awkward silence that passed over the group as they exchanged looks between themselves. The truth settled over the room like a load of bricks. Victoria wasn't a villain but she was capable of some extremely villainous actions. They had all seen them before. After all, just yesterday she had torn a steel train to shreds without even laying a hand on it. What would she do now that she didn't have someone reassuring her that she was a good person? She had the rest of them, but would she believe them?

Everyone in the room shifted awkwardly as they tried to figure out what they were supposed to do about Victoria. They all loved her so desperately but they were terrified of what she might do now that she was heartbroken with no hope that things would get better. No one knew what they were supposed to do now. She wouldn't let any of them talk to her. They wouldn't have known what to say anyway. There was nothing to say at this point. She wouldn't accept anything. She wouldn't accept food or water or their company.

There was only one thing they needed. They needed to have Bucky back. He needed to be back so they could have their lighthearted nights. He needed to keep Steve working at being the best version of himself. He needed to be there to help get Steve and Peggy together. He needed to be there for Chester to have someone to harass. He needed to be there for Victoria. None of them needed Bucky more than she did. He was the only thing she needed right now and he was the one thing they couldn't get back.

"Has anyone called Barnes' family?" Chester asked quietly, finally breaking the tense silence. None of them wanted to talk about Victoria any longer. "He had siblings."

"Not that I know of," Peggy said.

Who was going to be the one to have that heart-wrenching conversation? "Someone will have to call them. The wedding was supposed to be in a few days," Howard pointed out.

"I'll tell them," Chester said. It wouldn't have been fair to make Victoria do it. "Soon, not yet. It'll be a while before news of his death spreads."

"Don't they deserve to know?" Gabe asked.

"Do you want to be the one to call them?" Dum Dum said.

Gabe flushed awkwardly. "The world will want to know what happened on that train," Peggy pointed out.

"We'll tell them the truth. We weren't fast enough to save everyone," Chester said.

"Putting Rogers' legacy at risk," Howard pointed out. Everyone looked at him. "The world's going to wonder how the greatest soldier in history wasn't able to stop a few Hydra grunts from killing his best friend."

"What are you getting at, Howard?" Peggy asked when the silence became unbearable.

"Put two and two together. Steve is a super-soldier who should theoretically be able to save anyone in any situation. We know he couldn't, we know he's still human, but normal people wouldn't think of it that way. They'll start looking for what they believe happened. Where do you think their heads will go first? The exact person they've always called their villain," Howard told them.

Unfortunately, he was right. What happened on the train seemed almost unbelievable. A heaviness settled over the room from Howard's words as they considered whether or not he was correct. "You think they'll believe Victoria killed her fiance?" Peggy asked quietly.

"I do," Howard said.

"Stark is right. They'll pin it on her," Chester confirmed.

"Why?" James asked curiously.

"To use the opportunity to try and get her out of the public eye," Chester said. They all thought back to meeting Roosevelt, who had openly admitted he wanted Victoria out of the public eye. "Enough scrutiny would give anyone a reason to go into hiding. Knowing Victoria, she won't do anything to make herself look innocent."

"We all know how fond Roosevelt is of her," Peggy said.

"You think he would make up a lie about what she did?" Jacques asked.

Howard nodded. "Yes. If it meant getting rid of her or if he genuinely thought she did it. Either way, he comes out ahead."

It was just one more thing they would have to worry about. "Is this a problem we need to think about right now?" Jim asked, breaking the tense silence. "Maybe it won't happen. Plus, we have Steve and Gabe here to defend her."

"That's two people against the rest of the world," Dum Dum pointed out.

"Please, let's not," Peggy said, pressing her fingers against her temple. The rest of them could tell she was developing a headache from all the stress. The conversation fell silent. "For now, Bucky's death stays between us. It will have to come out in time but it doesn't have to be right now. Let everyone mourn out of the public eye first."

Chester swallowed thickly. "But we will eventually have to make the calls and the public announcement."

"Eventually. Not now," Howard said.

The announcement couldn't be made without them having a chance to talk about it. Not to mention they would have to speak with Victoria before they made any formal announcement. They would have to make sure she was okay talking about it. She might have to offer some explanations to the public and they were all aware that she wasn't in the state of mine to do it now. If they asked her to do it now there was a good chance she would kill whoever came to ask her questions about it. No, it would have to be in the future. After all, they weren't worried about a rotting body. They could do it whenever she was ready.

"What about a funeral?" Peggy asked, changing the subject again.

They hadn't had any conversation so far about the funeral. "He'll be buried with full military honors," Chester said. It was the least they could do for him. "I imagine the family will want to have a service of their own. When Victoria's ready, I'll ask her what he wanted."

"I don't think they ever talked about it," Howard said.

"Either way, it should be her choice. They weren't married yet but she was his next-of-kin. If he didn't specify what he wanted for his service, it should be her choice," Chester pointed out.

"It will be. Just not yet," Peggy said defensively.

They could all rely on Peggy being the person to protect Victoria's fragile mental state right now. Not that any of them were ready to take the next steps yet. Right now, they were too horrified having to think about what had just happened. They were all still trying to process the loss of one of their best friends, which was almost impossible in itself. None of them were ready to bury him; that was when the truth would seriously hit them. It would become final once they did so. They couldn't even imagine how Victoria would feel that day.

"I hate to be the one to bring this up, but what are they burying?" Dum Dum asked. "There's no body."

"An empty casket," Chester said tonelessly.

Most of the people around the table gripped onto the edges to keep themselves standing. Peggy had gone green. They were all aware of how awful it was that they had to leave Bucky's body down at the bottom of the ravine in Switzerland. But no one would have been able to get him back. His body would be covered in snow and ice and be impossible to track. Not to mention, it would begin rotting soon. There was no way they could let Victoria see him like that. Peggy shook her head, trying to keep herself from getting sick.

"We can't mention this to her yet," Peggy said, swallowing thickly. "She needs time."

"No one's going to force her. It's only been a day. We know she needs time to be alone," Gabe said.

"How long before someone goes and says something?" Jim asked curiously.

"Give her a few days," Peggy said.

"Do we have a few days?" James asked. The others turned to him. "Zola is here. We need to get the information he has about the Red Skull out of him now and we need to move in on Hydra as soon as we know it."

"We will. I'll talk to Zola today," Chester told them.

"Do you think he'll give the Red Skull up?" Peggy asked.

"To save his own life? Who wouldn't?" Chester reasoned.

"Should someone come with you?" Howard asked.

Chester shook his head. "No. I'll find out where Hydra's final base is and I'll pass the information along. We'll figure out what to do about that base later today," he told the others.

"In the meantime?" Dum Dum asked.

No one felt like they could just sit around and wait. Everyone felt like they had to do something. They wanted to numb their minds to the loss they had just felt. "Try and keep everyone calm. Reassure them that we're working to do everything in our power to defeat Hydra and put an end to the war," Chester instructed. They all nodded their agreement. "I'll be back a little later."

"Are you going to Zola?" Howard asked.

"Not yet. I think I'm going to go check on her," Chester said.

There was a brief moment of tenseness in the room. As much as they loved Victoria, everyone was a little afraid of getting near her. "Good luck getting inside," Peggy told him.

"I have a spare key to her room," Chester explained.

"You sure you should go in there?" Howard asked carefully.

Chester shook his head. "No. But I can't stand the thought of leaving her in there alone any longer."

"She needs someone in there with her. You should go," Peggy told him.

If any of them could get Victoria to talk it would be Chester. "Just be careful," James said.

"He'll be fine," Howard said, shrugging off James's concern. "Victoria wouldn't hurt him. It's probably better Chester than any of the rest of us."

"Let us know if there's anything we can do to help," Peggy said.

"Of course," Chester told them.

He gathered his file from the desk and turned to leave. Peggy grabbed his arm reassuringly as he walked past her. They could all see the pain in his eyes as well as they'd been able to see it in Victoria's. They were all hurting right now. He wanted to be there for them. Chester nodded at the rest of the men as he walked past and down the hallway where Bucky and Victoria's room was. He immediately noticed that no one was in the hall and it was easy to tell why. The building was heated to the point where Chester was already dripping with sweat. It must have been from her.

Chester walked up to the door and gently knocked. There was no answer. He then attempted to open the door himself but the knob burned his hand as he tried to turn it. He hissed and pulled away, instead slipping his sleeve over his hand as he knocked on the door again. Once more, no one answered. The only way he could tell she was in there was because of the heat. It had been coming off her body constantly for the past day. Minutes passed as Victoria ignored his knocks and calls. He hadn't been expecting her to answer.

Finally, Chester decided to try a different tactic. "Victoria? Sweetheart, can I come in?" Chester called quietly.

It was one of the few times he'd called her an affectionate name. There was still no answer, though he still hadn't been expecting one. He didn't know whether or not Victoria wanted him in the room but he knew he couldn't leave her alone any longer. He had to be in there with her. He had to offer her some comfort when she needed someone more than she ever had. Chester knew there would be a good chance she might react dangerously when he first walked in but he decided to go for it anyway. He took out his spare key and flipped it in his hand a few times.

Deciding to just go for it, Chester slipped his key into the lock on Victoria's bedroom door and gently nudged the boiling hot handle to push the door open. The lights were out but he quickly realized it was because she'd either smashed or burned out the light bulbs. The room was torn to pieces. Chester's heart gave a little quiver at the broken glass from her bathroom and vanity mirror along with the wood splinters from the broken bed frame. Pieces of paper were ripped to shreds and the walls were torn open like they were made of paper mâché.

It looked like a tornado had torn through the room. Remnants of the mirror were spread around the floor that Chester would have to be careful to avoid so he didn't cut up his feet. The blankets and sheets were in tatters as were most of her clothes. Chester realized that the only things in the room she hadn't touched were those that had belonged to him. Chester's eyes watered at the sight of the room as he remembered what he had once told Bucky. Losing you would destroy her. And he was right.

Chester stared around the room for a moment but it only broke his heart the more he looked at it. So, he walked over to the broken bed her oddly-motionless frame rested on. She could have been asleep if Chester hadn't heard her shuttering breaths. She was awake. He imagined she hadn't slept since Bucky's death. Chester pulled the blanket he'd brought with him off his shoulders and gently rested it over her body. He could feel her tremble under his touch as he brushed her hair back, immediately retracting his hand. She didn't want to be touched.

Her hand moved up after a moment to grab the blanket and pull it tighter over her body. The only part of her he could see was from her nose and above. It was almost like a little child wanting to hide from the world after a nightmare. But this was a nightmare that wasn't going to end any time soon. Chester looked up and spotted the deep green stains on the uniform she still wore, all across the walls, and on the bed. Whatever she had done when she had returned from the mission, she had been trying to seriously hurt herself.

Chester's gaze shifted to her as he realized that she wasn't technically alone in the bed. Just underneath the blanket, she was clutching a little bear. It was the same bear he had won her when they'd gone to Coney Island together during his training. That day felt like an eternity ago even though it had just been a few years ago. She was trying to hold onto any little piece of him she could. Chester's heart gave another pathetic little twinge as he felt the already-flimsy bed rattle underneath her shaky breath.

This time her trembling didn't stop after a moment. She continued to shake as Chester wondered what he was supposed to do now. He had never dealt with someone in the middle of heartbreak before. It was one thing to break things off with someone but it was another thing entirely for the person you loved most in the world to die. He didn't know what to say or do with her. All he knew was that he had to be there for her. Chester placed the breakfast sandwich he'd gotten for her down on the bed near her pillow.

"Eat something, please," he begged her.

Just as he had become so accustomed to, Victoria didn't respond. She hadn't made a sound since arriving back at the base and he didn't expect that she would be ready to talk to anyone for a while. He wasn't going to push her, even though her silence seemed deafening. In a way, he was glad she wasn't speaking. He didn't even know what he would be able to tell her anyway. That things would be okay? Eventually, sure, but she would never be able to see that. Not right now and not for months longer, at least.

No matter how hard he tried to find something to tell her, nothing seemed appropriate for the moment. He couldn't tell her not to act like this. She would rip out his still-beating heart if he dared to say that. It would have been the last thing she would have wanted to hear anyway. She would kill anyone who dared tell her that Bucky would have rather her celebrated his life than mourn it, even if that was the truth. It had always been stupid advice anyway when someone was mourning a person they loved. So, he just looked down at her and fought back tears.

"What can I do for you?" Chester asked weakly.

Again, Victoria didn't respond. Instead, the bed began trembling underneath her sobs. She drove her head down into the pillow, swiping the sandwich onto the floor and away from her as she reached against the sheets and grasped at the threads. He could see the linen tearing under her grip. The bed frame that was already cracked began to fall apart. He didn't know what she had done when she'd arrived back on the base, but she had taken out her frustrations on the room as she would have felt too guilty to do it to any of them.

Chester attempted to speak to her again. "You don't want to talk right now and that's okay. You don't have to say anything to me. You don't have to say anything to anyone. Take your time. But if there's anything I can do, if there's anything anyone can do, please tell us. I can't stand seeing you like this," he said quietly.

Victoria was turned toward the wall and Chester wiped the sweat off his brow as the room seemed to heat up even further. He knew that she wouldn't be okay for a while. It was going to take a long time but they would all be there for her when the time came. Chester gently reached up and brushed her hair back again. She shied away from his touch and Chester retracted his hand. He didn't want to push her. He just wished that he knew what he was supposed to do, but there was no precedent for this. No one ever wanted to have to talk someone through this.

It was a horrible feeling when Chester realized that there was nothing he could do for her right now except let her know that he would be there for her whenever and however she needed. He knew that sitting here would only upset her further. She wanted to be alone and he owed it to her to do that. So, he slowly stood from the bed and turned back to the door. Before he went, he turned back to her. There was one last thing he needed to tell her - whether or not she wanted to hear it.

"I know right now it feels like things will never get better, but they will. I promise they will. You're not alone in this. We're all here for you when you're ready," Chester told her.

Victoria made no indication that she had ever heard him. He knew she wouldn't. It was going to be a long time before she could force the words out. Chester looked down at the sparkling engagement ring on the floor and stood from the bed, picking it up and resting it on the counter. He took Bucky's wedding band from his pocket and rested it with her engagement ring on the broken stone counter. He had one other thing that he didn't know if she wanted, but he chose to do so anyway. He laid down a folded-up piece of paper at their side.

"There's a piece of paper here. You should read what's in it," Chester told her without explaining any further.

He then turned and left the room without getting a sound of acknowledgment from Victoria. He knew she would eventually look at it. Chester turned toward the door and left, closing it gently behind himself. There still wasn't a sound from her room. Chester reached up and gently wiped his eyes, feeling tears forming in them. He had been in the military since he was a young man - there was a precedent for everything. But there was nothing for this. For the first time in his life, Chester had no idea what to do.

Victoria's P.O.V.

When I was fifteen, William Stryker once tried to show me what it was like to die of suffocation. He's said that I needed to learn what it was like so I could fight it. That wasn't the real reason he wanted me to learn. He just wanted to see me hurt. He'd said it was how his wife died when a mutant had decided to attack them. It was a slow and painful death that dragged out the victim's suffering. It was just the way he'd always liked hurting me. I hadn't understood what he'd meant until he had taken a razor-sharp knife and sliced open my throat at the trachea, cutting off oxygen to my brain.

At first, I hadn't felt it. My body had gone numb. But after a few moments, the pain set in as I tried to gasp for breath, desperate for oxygen. It wasn't enough, no matter what I'd done I hadn't been able to breathe until I had regenerated my trachea. I'd learned what he meant as I laid on the ground, clawing at my own throat, ripping open my skin. There was desperation for any breath you could get as it felt like you were drowning, the surface so close yet so far away, always unable to reach that air you so desperately needed.

That was the closest I could ever describe as what it felt like to lose Bucky. There were no words for it. It was the exact reason I'd been silent since his death. I didn't even know what I would have said. All I could think to do was scream until there was no breath left in me, but it already felt like I was out of it. It seemed like I was so close to the surface, so close to being able to breathe, but it was like someone had cut the only lifeline I had. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't get in the breath I needed to keep going on.

When I was a teenager there were a few occasions when I would be held under the water in Stryker's lab. He wanted me to show him that I was growing better at controlling the water, but I had been terrified. I was desperate for the breath I needed to survive. I was so close to the surface but unable to break through it. That pain had been one that I'd thought I would never be able to match. But this pain was something new. This pain was unlike any I'd felt before. This was a pain I would have once never wished on my worst enemy.

But that had changed now. All I could do was kill everyone who had had even a small hand in Bucky's death. First I would go after Zola. Once he was gone, I would move in on the Red Skull and any Hydra soldiers I could find. After that... it still wouldn't be enough. Nothing would satisfy me. They weren't enough. I was out for blood. As much as I could find. All of the people who had tortured me in Stryker's lab. Stryker himself. Those kids in school who were terrible to me. Anyone who had made my life harder than it needed to be.

Anything to help relieve the pain. I'd never been good at dealing with pain. Giving that pain to someone else was the only thing I could think of doing right now. This was the only way I had ever known to make myself feel better. Killing those who had hurt me. It was the only thing that gave me even an inkling of hope. It wasn't hope, though. I didn't have a word for what it was. It was just the only thing I could think of. Killing those two men brought me only a brief moment of reprise before I had realized just how hurt I was again.

When our team had arrived back at the base from our mission in Switzerland, hours had already passed since Bucky's death. We had known we would be on the train for a long time. No one had spoken as the train arrived at the station where Zola should have been brought to. The rest of our team had attacked the soldiers who were waiting for him. There was just a brief moment where they were all smiles, believing we were at an end to the war. They'd run up to us in fits of laughter. But the sight of an injured Gabe had vanished the smiles from their faces almost immediately.

They'd been ready to ask Steve and me what was wrong when the realization had hit them. We were one person short. There was a deafening silence as they'd looked around at the demolished train and the pieces of the bodies of the Hydra soldiers. The truth had hit them just the way it had hit me. Suddenly and painfully. The silence was horrible as they had all stared at each other, wondering what they were supposed to do. They had tried to look at me, but my gaze had been firmly pointed at the ground.

It had happened so suddenly that I didn't remember the entire aftermath of Bucky's death. All I knew for sure was that the strength seemed to leave my body without warning as I had collapsed to my knees, the steel floor of the train melting underneath me. The men had tried to run up to me to do something - comfort me, maybe - but the heat emanating from my body had caused them all to go stumbling back. Instead, they'd stood in front of me, heartbroken and terrified.

Steve had ended up collapsing mere moments after I had. He looked like he was about to pass out as I reached down to the floor of the train. My fingers had easily torn through the metal panels, melting it into my fingertips as the molten metal dripped onto the tracks below us. My white hair fell in knots in front of my face, the strands coated in red. For what seemed like ages, each one of us had hit the ground as the weight of the evening hit us. Zola had remained seated against the ground in Gabe's arms, watching us curiously.

When the time came that our ride had arrived to pick us up, we were all led inside. I was the last one to move. I didn't move for a long time. Dum Dum eventually had to be the one to place a hand on my back to nudge me forward. I'd surprised them all by swiping his hand away from me. I'd moved it so quickly that I felt his hand snap under the pressure. I'd nearly broken his hand as he stumbled back from me in fear. Tears running down my face, unwilling to face what I'd just done, I had stormed ahead of our team and launched myself into the sky.

I could hear them calling my name as I blasted off as fast as I could. I shot into the air so far and so fast that I could feel myself breaking through the atmosphere. It was quiet up there. It was silent. Even with the silence, all I could hear was the voice in my head as he died. All I could hear was him telling me that it would be okay. Telling me that he loved me. That he loved us both. To take care of each other, even though neither one of us had been there to be able to take care of him.

That was when my body finally gave out. I lost my grip on my flight pattern and dropped down through the air. My body lit on fire as I plummeted through the atmosphere again. Seconds passed as I couldn't bring myself to slow my descent. I hit the ground so desperately hoping it would kill me. But it didn't. It never would have. The men all stumbled back in a sudden panic as I hit the ground so hard it created a massive crater under my body. I was so numb it was as though nothing had happened, though I had set off an avalanche from my actions.

I couldn't remember exactly what had happened after that. My body had gone into a version of autopilot. All I knew was that I had somehow clambered into the truck and we had eventually wound up back in England. Somewhere I didn't want to be. I wanted to be alone. But there was one thing that had drawn my attention back to reality. The city we had become so accustomed to had been bombed - including the bar we had loved. It turned out that more than one part of my life had been decimated.

My gaze shifted as I rolled over in our... in my bed, my body groaning at the sudden use after sitting in a contorted position for so long after using my powers so much in such a short time. My gaze eventually locked on the piece of paper Chester had left me. If it was a letter from them I would burn down the entire building. But... what if it was something else? I stared at it for what felt like forever, willing the letter to come into my mind, but my mind was a mess. I didn't know what was in it, or if I wanted to know, but curiosity got the best of me.

After a bit of deliberation, I rose to my feet and walked toward the dresser. I stared at our engagement rings on the counter but not for long. My throat closed up with the threat of tears as I looked at them. I couldn't focus on them. My gaze moved to the letter. It didn't take me more than a millisecond to recognized whose writing it was on the outside. It wasn't from my friends. It was from Bucky. My body began trembling again as I reached out for the letter, opening it. Forcing myself to read his last words to me.

Vika,

It's been a long road to get here, hasn't it? There were days and sometimes even years when I thought this day would never come. When I found out you had left, when I was deployed overseas, and every time you got cold feet. But I think I always knew that we'd end up here, no matter how long it took. Probably because I was too stubborn to ever give up on us.

When I was a teenager my mother used to tell me I had to move on. I had to forget about the little girl who had smashed into my life all those years before. There were days that I tried and there were a lot of days I succeeded. But there were also days I could have never forgotten that little girl - those yellow eyes that pierced me to my core and always made me wonder if she knew what I was thinking. Turns out she did. That white hair that could easily stand out in a crowd.

It wasn't just the physical with her. She was so unlike anyone I'd met before. She was smarter than anyone - certainly me. She could have made our teachers look like infants from how little they knew compared to her. She was almost unbelievably strong. I saw things happen to her that should have sent anyone else to the hospital. She was funny - not in the traditional way. She would break your nose if you annoyed her, she didn't want to be a housewife or a mother, and she wanted an education unlike one even most men wanted.

After she vanished there were days I wondered if I'd imagined her. There were days I would desperately plead to whoever was out there that I could forget her - because everyone I met from the day I'd met her, I would compare them. It took me years to realize that there was a reason why. It was because I didn't want anyone else. I wanted her.

When she came back into my life so unexpectedly I realized I had to do something about her. I had to make sure she knew how I felt. Like with everything else, she did it differently. She had the guts to say it to me before I did to her. Once I had her I knew I couldn't let her go. So I did everything possible to ensure she knew how I felt and when the day came that I was ready to propose to her... I knew it would be the best day of my life. It's only preceded by one. Today.

She was and remains to this day, the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with. I can't know how long that life will last. Maybe it will be a year. Maybe it will be fifty. All I know is that I want to spend every second of every day of every week of every month of every year of that life with her. I want to grow old alongside her. I want to hear her laugh as I get my first wrinkle and gray hair. I want a chance to have a family with her. Whatever our crazy family will look like. And when it's my time to go, I want her at my side.

We'll never know what the future holds for us. I don't know where we'll end up. But I do know that I want to face each adventure with you at my side. I can't wait to see where life takes us. I can't wait to find out if I'll ever know how to tell you just how much you mean to me. In the meantime, I'll do whatever I can to show you.

I love you more than anything else in this world and I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with you.

The letter dropped from my hands as I realized he would never say those words to me. I would never get to hear him recite his wedding vows to me. This was as close as I could get. My legs gave out from underneath me as I collapsed to the floor, resting back against the cracked bed frame. My head dropped back against the metal of the mattress frame as I squeezed my eyes shut, so desperately trying to block out reality. It was the first time an audible cry had echoed from my throat. It was strained, sounding almost like a dying animal.

I wasn't sure how much time passed that I laid against the ground, sobbing hysterically. It was long enough for a few people to come and check on me. I could hear them walk up to the door and give a few knocks and calls into me. I ignored all of them and instead tried to force myself to silence my cries. I could make it past this. I had to. So, I tried to focus on the coolness of the marble tiles against my overheated forehead. I had to do something to calm down. But the tiles just began melting underneath me.

My gaze slowly turned up to the wedding rings sitting on the counter after a long while. Mine and his. The rings that we would never genuinely be able to wear. The rings we would never get to exchange. They were so beautiful. Too beautiful for this room. Too beautiful for my whole life. I took them in my hands for a moment, bound and determined to destroy them but just as my grip on the metal tightens, I loosened my grip again. I couldn't destroy them. I couldn't destroy that part of my life. I just had to walk away.

This place was horrible. I couldn't stand being in here any longer. I had to be somewhere else. Anywhere. I knew that Zola was being held captive in the building somewhere. I just had to go find him. I couldn't bring Bucky back to life but I could kill the man who had started all of this. I placed the rings down on my bedside as gently as I could and turned to leave the room. That was when I realized I had never changed out of my uniform. It was tattered and torn to pieces with large slashes over my chest and stomach.

It had left me relatively revealed. I knew that I should have changed, but I couldn't bring myself to do it. All I needed was to be near him. I walked into the hallway and down to the holding cells, desperately trying to avoid running into anyone else. It was lunchtime. Most people weren't around the offices or halls right now. I wandered toward the holding cells at the back of the base and spotted Chester speaking to Zola. He was bringing him a tray of food. Something in my stomach boiled at Chester treating him with even an ounce of hospitality. He should have been killed for what he'd done.

There was a stretcher in the corner of the room I was so desperate to put him on. The door to the room opened as Chester walked in and Zola jumped. "Sit down," Chester said, placing the tray of food down.

"What is this?" Zola asked.

"Steak," Chester answered.

"What is in it?" Zola asked suspiciously.

"Cow," Chester said, taking a seat. The comment that normally would have made me grin now just contributed to my seething anger. He didn't deserve a steak dinner. "Doctor, do you realize how difficult it is to get a hold of a prime cut like that out here?"

"I don't eat meat."

"Why not?"

"It disagrees with me," Zola said.

"How about cyanide? Does that give you the rumbly tummy too?" Chester asked. Zola remained silent. "Every Hydra agent that we've tried to take alive has crunched a little pill before we can stop him. But not you. So, here's my brilliant theory." Zola continued to watch in silence as Chester turned the plate back to himself and started eating the steak himself. "You want to live."

Zola smiled. "You're trying to intimidate me, Colonel."

"No, if I wanted to intimidate you, I would have sent my daughter," Chester said. My eyes darkened as I moved closer to the door that was separating us. "I bought you dinner."

Chester stopped eating long enough to pass Zola a piece of paper. Zola looked down and read aloud from the paper. "'Given the variable information he has provided, and in exchange for his full cooperation, Dr. Zola is being remanded to Switzerland.'"

"I sent that message to Washington this morning. Of course, it was encoded. You guys haven't broken those codes, have you? That would be awkward," Chester said.

"Schmidt will know this is a lie," Zola pointed out.

"He's going to kill you anyway, Doc. You're a liability. You know more about Schmidt than anyone. And the last guy you cost us was Captain Rogers' closest friend. He also happened to be my daughter's fiancé. You know who she is," Chester said.

Now, here came the real intimidation tactic. There was a vague flicker of fear in Zola's eyes. "I do."

"You stabbed the devil in the back and forced her back into the life that she tried so hard to escape from. You incinerated the priest's temple. Burned it to the ground. Now that she's free of any judgement what do you think she'll do? She had a glimpse of the other side and she embraced it. But you, Doctor Zola, took it away from her. She's mourning right now, but she'll get angry soon and you know as well as I do that I can't stop her. No one here can," Chester said truthfully. "So, I wouldn't count on the very best of protection. There's you or Schmidt. It's just the hand you've been dealt."

Did I necessarily enjoy or appreciate being called the devil? Not really. But I knew what Chester meant and I knew he was trying to drill into Zola the severity of the situation. He wanted him to know just how dangerous this was for him. Plus, Chester was telling the truth. I could easily turn myself into the devil. I would end Zola's life once I found out where the Red Skull was anyway. Chester knew as well as anyone else did that I was going to take out my anger on someone and there was a good chance that that someone would be Zola. I inched a little closer behind the door as I listened.

"Schmidt believes he walks in the footsteps of the Gods," Zola said.

"Mmm," Chester hummed.

"Only the world itself will satisfy him."

"You do realize that's nuts, don't you?"

"But the sanity of the plan is of no consequence."

"And why is that?"

"Because he can do it!" Zola yelled.

"What's his target?" Chester asked.

Zola leaned forward. "His target… is everywhere."

So, he was planning on devastating the world. Chester stopped eating and stared at Zola for a moment before nodding and getting up to leave, likely to put away the dishes and get himself a cup of coffee. It was going to be a long day. I stood back against the darkness of the shadows as Chester passed me without noticing and I slipped undetected into Zola's holding cell. My eyes glowed red as I stepped out from behind him, finally showing myself. Zola jumped as I crossed the room and sat down in Chester's prior seat.

Zola stared at me for a few moments as he shifted fearfully. "You have my apologies. Your fiancé was collateral damage," he finally settled on.

It wasn't a good choice. I stood faster than the speed of light and grabbed Zola around the collar, dragging him up over the table and slamming him down against the metal. He shouted in pain as I reached down and sent a blast of flames into his shoulder. He shouted in pain as I released him and he rolled onto his side, trying to put the flames out. He batted heavily against his shoulder as I let him move away from me. It took him a moment to put out the flames as he managed to pull himself up. He stared at me fearfully as he slunk back into his seat.

There were char marks down his shoulder and burns on his hands. "It was not me who killed him," Zola said breathlessly. I didn't move or speak. It might not have been him, but it was his fault. "Killing me will do nothing. Do you think you'll feel better? You can kill everyone on this base and it still won't satisfy the rage in you. You want revenge. I understand that. Your revenge on me would be fruitless."

But I had to have my revenge on someone. I couldn't just sit here and wait for the rest of eternity. There was no way. I had to do something. The only thing I could do was try to move on in my life. It began with finding out where the Red Skull was. My red eyes narrowed as I hit the plate protecting Zola's brain. I had to find out where he was but I couldn't push past the plate that was made out of Adamantium. I increased the pressure around the plate, bending it very slightly. Tiny pieces splintered under the pressure as Zola cringed.

Deciding to check and see if he'd had enough, I let up on the pressure for a moment. Zola tried to clear the pain from his mind. "You want to know where the Red Skull is, but you can't crack the plates," Zola said almost teasingly.

That was the last thing he should have done. I set off a psionic blast at the look on his face. I didn't want him being even vaguely happy right now. The blast was so loud that Zola collapsed against the table. It was deafening in his head. He pulled himself off the table to look me in the eyes. Blood trails were running down from his eyes as I increased the volume again. His mouth dropped open in a scream as I heard a commotion in the hall. I raised a hand and slammed the door shut as Chester, Peggy, Howard, and the men ran toward it. I sent a blast of flames to melt the handle and seal the door.

Chester hit the door first and tried to rip it open, immediately pulling his hand back as he had been burned from the heat. "Victoria! Let him go! We need him to know where the Red Skull is," Chester yelled.

Of course. I was just saving them time. I would find out for myself. The others were banging on the door to try and get in but I ignored them. Instead, I turned back to Zola and raised the volume again. Zola's mouth dropped open in a silent scream as I finally released my psionic blast, wondering if Zola had had enough. Long minutes passed as he breathed heavily against the metal table. His head was visibly pounding as he tried to wipe the blood off his face. He looked up at me pathetically, but I just stared at him.

It looked like Zola wanted to say something but he was choking on his breath. His gasps were shuddering as he leaned down against the table. I wanted him dead but I needed my answer on Schmidt's location first. Once I knew, I could kill him. The others behind the wall had stopped banging against the door as they waited to find out what would happen next. I watched patiently as Zola gathered his wits. His face was streaked with blood and his eyes were flooded with fear. But Schmidt would have taught him to cover it.

"I've never met someone who can say so much by saying so little," Zola said breathlessly.

Even after all of this he still wanted to tease me and goad me into doing something irrational. I would have loved to scream every curse I knew in the world, but I couldn't force myself to make any noise other than a growling noise that sounded like it should have come from a wild animal. I couldn't find the words to describe my pain and unadulterated hatred for every person near me. I couldn't kill Zola - I needed to know where Schmidt was - but I could make his life miserable.

Schmidt looked like he was about to open his mouth and speak again but I could no longer listen to him. His teasing or anything else. The only thing I wanted to hear was where Schmidt was. The best way to do that was to dangle his potential death in his face. I stood from my chair so fast that it was thrown back into the wall behind me. Zola jumped and tried to run from me but I was faster. I reached out and caught the collar of his shirt effortlessly. Zola gasped as I placed a hand on the back of his neck and slammed his face down against the metal table.

There were piercing screams from my friends as they tried to break through the melted door to no avail. They were begging me to stop but I couldn't I had already started and I needed to do this. I reached back and punched Zola dead across the face. His head was snapped back as the bones in his face crunched under my hand. He wouldn't last long before he either gave in and told me the truth or died withholding it. For now, I was holding back. I was going to be careful enough to not kill him until he told me the truth.

"Victoria, enough!" Chester roared from the next room. "We need him to tell us where the Red Skull is! We need him alive!"

That was nothing. I knew exactly what they needed. I wasn't going to kill Zola. That would be the fool's move. I was just going to make sure he wished he was dead. I punched Zola in the eye again before lowering him to the floor, stepping down on his knee. Zola let out a blood-curdling scream as I raised him into the air again and threw his flimsy body into the tile wall. He hit the tiles like a rag doll before slipping down slowly to the floor. He tried to pull himself back to his feet but it became quickly obvious that he couldn't.

Zola was coughing up blood as I slowly meandered back to his body. I was in no hurry. Zola stared at me fearfully as I reached into my boot and pulled out a small knife. The yells from the other side of the glass increased as I took the blade and shoved it through his shoulder, pinning him against the wall. He let out another deafening scream as I stared him dead in the eyes, increasing the pressure of the hold I had on his throat. His voice dropped off as he attempted to grab at me to get me to release him.

His hands pummeling on me felt like nothing, even as he began punching me as hard as he could. It was no big deal. I was able to effortlessly pull his hand away from my body, breaking his fingers in the process. I didn't need to speak to him. He knew the one thing that he had to do to survive. Tears streamed steadily down Zola's face as he tried desperately to suck in his breath. I had already ensured he couldn't. He was either going to tell me the truth or die. The choice was his. A choice Bucky never got. I was being as merciful as I cared to be.

"The Alps!" Zola screamed hoarsely. I let up my grip on him just enough for him to continue explaining where Schmidt was. "Five hundred feet below the surface. That's where you'll find him."

That answer was good enough for me. I would be able to figure out where Schmidt was. I finally fully released the grip I had on Zola, staring down at his bloodied and bruised face as he hit the floor. He was sucking in rattling breaths from just how hard I had been constricting his throat. He laid against the floor, desperately trying to gather his breath. His eyes were bleeding as he whined in pain from my torture. I left the room and Zola without a care in the world. Armed soldiers were standing at every corner of the hallway.

Maybe they were waiting for me. I didn't flinch as I manipulated the weapons up toward their heads. Each one was hit directly at the pressure point behind their temples. Their grips on their weapons loosened as they slumped to the floor, passed out rather than dead. My eyes turned black again as I walked back toward the door to return to my room to prepare for my assault on the Hydra base. I needed to tear it apart from the inside out. My team stared at me as I walked out. I didn't miss it in their stances. The flickers of fear.

I didn't care. I turned to walk off when Chester stepped in front of me. "Victoria, stop."

It didn't seem to surprise him when I ignored Chester's pleas. I didn't want to be with him. I didn't want to be with any of them. I had done what I'd needed to do. I had gotten the answers I'd needed and now I was planning on thinking for a while about figuring out how to take down that final Hydra base. That was all I could think about right now. Killing the man that had killed my only chance at a real life. I was halfway to the door when Chester stepped in front of me. I stopped for just a moment, staring at Chester blankly.

He gave me a rare look of fury and this time it was directed to me. "I know you're upset, but that is not the way we do things. We need Zola alive and cooperative," Chester snapped.

Did they not see that this was the best way to make him cooperative? Let him know that his life would be threatened if he didn't comply. I stared at Chester for a moment before pushing past him. Chester began calling my name again as he reached out for me. I didn't know what came over me but I knew I didn't want to be near him. I didn't want anyone to touch me. No one except for the one person who couldn't. I sent out a massive blast of air, throwing my friends back and onto the ground. I twisted Chester's hand around as I threw him off of me.

There was a quiet snap in Chester's arm that made me stumble back in shock. What the hell had I just done? I'd hurt him. My eyes were still blazing red as a massive surge of anger shot through me. I knew I shouldn't have done it. He was just trying to help me and I had nearly killed him all because he had just touched me. I stared Chester in the eye; he looked just as terrified of me as I felt of myself. Unwilling to look at him any longer, I staggered back to leave the room. I knew I should have apologized, but I just needed to get out of here.

Everyone watched me as I pushed through my friends, most of whom stumbled back at the sight of me. They clearly would have rather remained at a distance. They didn't know what to say or do for me. I staggered out into the hallway as the world seemed to swoop around me. I stumbled and banged down the hallway, eventually falling back into my room. As soon as I walked back into my room the tears began to fall again. I couldn't be in here alone. I needed to have him back in my life. I didn't know how to go on alone, because that was exactly how I felt.

Hours passed as I laid in the ruined bed and stared out the window at the stormy clouds and rain. The weather outside reflected how I felt in my head. Everything was so mixed up and right now it felt like I would never be able to see the sun again. I'd never been as confused as I was right now and I'd never felt so helpless. This time I was surprised that no one bothered to come and check on me after my outburst. I figured this time it was because they were all terrified of what I'd just done.

My outburst because I'd lost the love of my life. All because I hadn't moved fast enough. I couldn't believe it. I hated what had become of my life. I didn't know what there was to do now. Actually, I did know. There was nothing to do. I couldn't turn back time or bring someone back from the dead. For the first time in my life, I genuinely had no idea what I was supposed to do. I didn't know I was supposed to move on this time. I had lost the only person who had ever believed the best in me and I was slowly pushing away the others who loved me.

Evidenced by me just hurting one of the people who meant the most in the world to me. I genuinely hadn't meant to hurt my father. I felt so terrible about what I'd done. Hurting him sent a searing pang of guilt through me. I hadn't stayed in the hallway long enough to know if I had broken anything or just shocked him. I knew I should have gone to check on him. I hesitated for a few moments before rising to my feet and leaving the bedroom again. I knew they would be talking about me and their plan to move in on Hydra. That was the part I cared about. I wanted to know what was going on.

Just before I left the room I glanced up at the clock and realized a few hours had passed. It was nearing dinnertime now. I could only imagine that they would down in the war room under the cover of night. No one sitting outside the hallway or waiting in the room to hear what was going on. I wandered through the halls for a moment before coming up in the war room. I glanced around the corner to see that Steve, Peggy, Chester, and the rest of the guys were sitting around to discuss the next step. Chester's hand was bandaged.

"How is your hand?" Peggy asked quietly, shattering their silence.

"It's fine," Chester said, waving her off. "A little sore but nothing I can't handle."

"What happened?" Steve asked curiously.

I'd almost forgotten he wasn't there to see my outburst. "Nothing," Chester said immediately.

"Victoria went to confront Zola to find out where the last Hydra base was. That's how we know. She decided to take out a few of her frustrations on him. When Chester tried to stop her..." Howard filled in, trailing off when he didn't want to admit how the confrontation had ended.

"She accidentally took our her frustrations on him," Peggy finished. That was Peggy. Always protecting me. The others looked at her mistrustfully. She glared at them. "It was an accident. You saw the look on her face after."

"I know it was an accident," Chester agreed.

"Do the rest of you?" Peggy asked them sharply.

"Of course," everyone said immediately.

There was a long silence as they all looked at each other. Steve was the only one to not speak. He was looking down at the table where he sat at the head. "She'll try and go after him alone," Howard pointed out.

"I'll talk to her. I'll make sure she knows that we're all going after him," Peggy offered.

"Do you think that will stop her?" Howard asked.

"I don't know but I certainly think it's worth giving it a shot. She needs to know that we're here for her. She needs to know that Hydra isn't going to get away with what they've done. We'll make sure of it," she replied.

A spike of anger surged through me at their words. It wasn't their plan to make and they didn't get to sit here and talk about me like I was a plague. I had made a mistake. I hadn't meant to hurt any of them. But I supposed it might not have mattered. Maybe I would always hurt the people I loved. There was a long silence in their group as they all stared at each other. I slunk forward through the hallway a little closer so that I was standing just behind the wall immediately behind the table. They were sure to start talking about the Red Skull now.

"So, what's the plan?" Peggy asked awkwardly, finally breaking the silence.

Chester passed out pieces of paper with what was likely their initial battle plan on them. A few decorated soldiers stood behind the table. They were likely being used as backup. "Johann Schmidt belongs in a bug house. I talked to Zola after Victoria left. Schmidt thinks he's a god. He's willing to blow up half the world to prove it, starting with the USA," Chester explained.

They all looked up from their papers worriedly. "Schmidt's working with powers beyond our capabilities. He gets across the Atlantic, he will wipe out the entire eastern seaboard in an hour," Howard continued.

"What about Victoria?" Peggy asked.

"I'm not sure how well we can rely on her right now," Chester told her.

Not at all. I could only rely on myself. "How much time we got?" Gabe asked.

"According to my new best friend, under twenty-four hours," Chester said.

That soon? "Where is he now?" Jacques asked.

Chester moved to the edge of the table. "Hydra's last base is here," he explained. He pulled out an aerial view of the Alps, pointing into the center of it. "In the Alps. Five hundred feet below the surface."

"So, what are we supposed to do?" Jim asked after a brief silence. "I mean, it's not like we can just knock on the front door."

"Why not?" Steve asked, speaking for the first time. "That's exactly what we're going to do."

"What's your plan?" Peggy asked, looking just as surprised as the others did.

They would have to come up with a better plan than just knocking on the front door. That was a surefire way to get another one of them killed. I listened at the doorway for a moment as Steve described his plan. Faking being captured as the others entered the Hydra base to eliminate any help Schmidt might have had otherwise. I nodded my agreement even though they couldn't see me. It wasn't a bad plan as long as Steve moved fast enough, but it would mean that Steve would be the one to kill the Red Skull, an honor I'd wanted.

"So, you'll take the Red Skull out?" Chester asked as the weight of the plan settled around the room.

"Yes," Steve said simply.

"I hate to bring it up, but won't Victoria want that job?" Gabe asked.

"We don't even know if she's planning on coming with us," Chester said.

"She's not one to miss a fight," Steve pointed out.

"She might miss this one," Peggy offered.

Steve shook his head knowingly. "She won't. She'll be there." Correct he was. I would be there and I would do things my way. "She can take on the rest of the base and you can be her backup. I need to be the one to kill him," Steve said.

Those were terms we could agree to. I finally stepped out of the shadows of the hallway into the edge of the war room. "Then you can have him," I called quietly. Everyone in the room jumped nearly a foot in the air from my voice as some of the soldiers stumbled back. I cleared my throat as it was still scratchy and weak from the lack of use and tears. "Every other Hydra soldier is mine."

No one could find the words to speak again. Steve was the only one who looked unsurprised to see me. We stared at each other evenly for a few beats before he nodded. "Agreed," Steve said tonelessly.

Everyone around the table looked between themselves for a long moment before looking back to me; I gave them a short nod. I would meet them in the morning before we were deployed to the Hydra base and once there I would destroy it. There were no afterthoughts. I didn't know where I was supposed to go from there. Everyone looked like they wanted to say something to me, though Gabe was the only person who wouldn't meet my eyes. The silence was so long and awkward that I could no longer stand it. I would rather be alone until they were ready to move in on the Hydra base.

Just as I turned to leave, Chester tried to follow me out. "Victoria -"

"Please, wait," Peggy interrupted, starting toward me.

"Victoria!" Dum Dum called after me as I ignored their calls. "Just stay here for a while."

"Let her go. She doesn't want to be here," Steve told them quietly.

He was correct, as he always was. I didn't want to be near any of them right now. I didn't want to have to hear the pity in their voices or see it in their faces. I couldn't. I left the war room and wandered down the hallway back to my room, closing the door gently behind me. I stood against it for a moment, the tears building in my eyes as I looked at the rings sitting on the counter. I was never going to have a love like that again. I stumbled away from the door and dropped into the fractured bed, digging my head into the pillows. All I could think about was going to the Hydra base.

If I didn't want to think about Bucky, the Hydra base was the only other thought I could focus on. I listened to the clocks ticking away the minutes, the sound pounding in my head. No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't stop it. I couldn't stop the thoughts of how many times I would have to hear those clicks forever. Infinite minutes would pass and my life would never end. I would have to be miserable like this for the rest of eternity. Nothing would ever end my life. Nothing would end my misery. A tear finally slid down my face from my thoughts.

It hurt me even more as I heard the voices of the people closest to me talking about me back in the war room. They were discussing how dangerous I was. They were wondering if I would hurt someone. I knew they were thinking I might have even hurt hem. I couldn't deny their horrible thoughts. I was the monster. I always had been and I always would be. This had only made my personality even worse. I was always going to be the villain. Bucky was wrong. I wasn't the hero. I never had been and never could be.

My depressing thoughts eventually made me roll toward the wall, desperate to try and block out the rest of the world. I raised my hand and ran it along the hole I had created in the wall last night, throwing my fist through it, widening the hole even more. What was I supposed to do with my life now? Nothing. I stared blankly at the wall, praying something would just come and end my life. I couldn't stay here any longer. I wanted to go somewhere else. Anywhere else. But as the hours passed, I remained still in my bed.

Seeing as I had forgotten to lock my bedroom door when I'd returned to the war room, I wasn't surprised to hear the door open around the middle of the night. Someone with near-silent steps walked in. Steve; I was sure of it. I could hear the sniffling coming from him as he shut the door gently behind him. For the first time that day, I rolled over and faced him eye-to-eye. My red eyes met his red-rimmed ones. He had been drinking. I could smell it on his breath even from him. Not that it mattered, like me, he couldn't get drunk.

We were silent for so long it became almost comical. "Did you know I can't get drunk anymore?" Steve finally asked.

It was one of the first things I'd known would happen once he became a super-soldier. At the time we'd thought it would be something wonderful. But now we wanted to drown our sorrows. I nodded slowly at Steve, who stared back at me for a long moment before another one of my tears fell. I couldn't bring myself to wipe it away. Seconds later, Steve started crying too. As much as we loved each other, we had both lost the person that meant the most to us. I buried my head in my pillow, still able to smell Bucky's aftershave on it. At the same time, I could hear Steve shift toward me.

Steve stood at the foot of my bed for a few moments. His thoughts were dull but I could hear them wondering what he was supposed to do next. Either stay or leave, unsure of whether or not I wanted him here. I didn't know. I couldn't even bear to move toward him even though I wanted comfort. I couldn't do anything other than hate myself for what had happened. If I had just moved a little bit faster I would have been able to save his life. I could have stopped this but I hadn't.

"I know you blame me," Steve said, breaking the silence.

"I don't," I said weakly, my voice trembling. "I blame myself."

"You shouldn't. He was mine to save and I couldn't move fast enough," Steve muttered.

Talking about this was horrendous. I couldn't keep going on. I couldn't keep talking about this. I couldn't do this any longer. I knew that I wouldn't ever have happiness in my life. I had meant what I'd told Bucky all those months ago. I wasn't designed for happiness. I was always meant to be nothing more than a science experiment and at this point in my life, I would have rather been just that. Anything it took to take the pain away. Anything to forget just how devastated I was that I would never see Bucky again.

The tears steadily ran down my face as I cried into my pillow. It looked like Steve was about to leave the room when I reached out and took his hand. He let out a weak breath as he linked our fingers, walking over and climbing into the broken bed with me. Neither one of us spoke as Steve grabbed me around the waist and pulled me into him, pressing my forehead into his shoulder as I grabbed his jacket and sobbed into it. I could feel his silent tears running into my hair as he pressed his mouth down there to muffle his desperate gasps for air.

When I had lost my pain receptors in Stryker's lab, I was initially thrilled. He could never hurt me again. At least, not physically. Because that was what I'd found out. It was the one thing they never told you when you lost the ability to feel pain. The only pain you could feel now was the pain in your heart. The pain that medicine couldn't solve. The pain that no one could see. The pain that time felt like it could never heal. I couldn't do anything for my pain other than accept that it was the way I would always feel.

A/N: Almost done, guys! It's my birthday today, so here's my present to you! For anyone who would like to keep closer tabs on my stories, I now have a Twitter account set up so I can stay in touch with my readers and keep you all up to date on when you can expect new updates. Here's the link! /walkerlifeforme. As always, thank you so much for the follows and favorites! Please review! Until next time -A

.2019: I know! The next few chapters won't be too happy while Victoria goes through her period of mourning, but I hope you liked it anyway!

Go2 Tamaka: Oops! Sorry! I promise I will finish this story, no matter how long it takes! I will get all the way through The Avengers: Endgame. I'm so sorry to hear that and it genuinely makes me so happy to hear that this story helps you. Please know that I care and hope you continue to find reasons to keep going. I promise, they're always there. It's going to take a long time, but we will get there! I really hope you enjoyed this chapter!

KEZZ 1: Thank you so much! I hope you liked this one as well!

AliasGrace625: Oh, I don't mind constructive criticism at all! I welcome it. Your comment was actually extremely polite. Thank you for the compliment on my writing. I love the original story (obviously) so I make sure to include nice chunks of it in my versions. Victoria does have a reason for being as highly-powered as she is but that's a truth we won't get to for a while. My readers have always been aware that I love detail. It's a personal preference and I'm well-aware that not everyone can handle an 800k word story. Trust me, I know it's daunting and I always understand if people can't get into a story that long. The chapters will likely drop in length as I move through the story, I just wanted to lay a good groundwork before getting into modern day. Your comment has been much appreciated and I will keep it in mind. If you continue to read, I genuinely hope you continue to enjoy! Thank you for reviewing!