When I see you like that…
There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed, if I just listened to it right outside the window
There were days when the sun was so cruel
That all the tears turned to dust, and I just knew my eyes were drying up forever
I finished crying in the instant that you left
And I can't remember where or when or how
And I banished every memory you and I had ever made
But when you touch me like this, And you hold me like that
I just have to admit, that it's all coming back to me
When I touch you like this, and I hold you like that
It's so hard to believe but, it's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)
There were moments of gold, and there were flashes of light
There were things I'd never do again, but then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure, it was more than any laws allow
Baby Baby
If I kiss you like this, and if you whisper like that
It was lost long ago, but it's all coming back to me
If you want me like this, and if you need me like that
It was dead long ago, but it's all coming back to me
It's so hard to resist, and it's all coming back to me
I can barely recall, but it's all coming back to me now
There were those empty threats and hollow lies
And whenever you tried to hurt me, I just hurt you even worse and so much deeper
There were hours that just went on for days
When alone at last we'd count up all the chances that were lost to us forever
But you were history with the slamming of the door
And I made myself so strong again somehow
And I never wasted any of my time on you since then
But if I touch you like this, and when you kiss me like that
It was so long ago, but it's all coming back to me
If you touch me like this, and if I kiss you like that
It was gone with the wind, but it's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)
There were moments of gold, and there were flashes of light
There were things we'd never do again, but then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure, it was more than all your laws allow
Baby, Baby, Baby
When you touch me like this, and when you hold me like that
It was gone with the wind, but it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this, and when I see you like that
Then we see what we want to see, all coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies, all coming back to me
I can barely recall, but it's all coming back to me now
If you forgive me all this, If I forgive you all that
We forgive and forget, and it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this, and when I see you like that
We see just what we want to see, all coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies, all coming back to me
I can barely recall, but it's all coming back to me now
"I can't believe 6th year was starting already. All those years had gone by so fast..." That's what I said…, the first time around… When my whole life got turned upside down… This time has to be different.. Even if it means giving up de love of my life… I still couldn't believe my spell worked. We had already started searching for the horcruxes when I was still, secretly, working on the spell, when I heard his name on the radio, among the casualties… After that I was more determined than anything to make it work. And now here I am, starting 6th year all over again...
We were on the train to Hogwarts and everywhere I look, the memories were just overflowing me. I had already been here at this exact moment. This is where it all started.. When I saw Malfoy walking towards the compartment, where the prefects meeting was held, at the end of the hall, I just got hit with remembering… feeling… loving… and most of all pain…
I had to go to that same prefects meeting, but I had to wait until he was inside, cause otherwise I would run into him and everything would start again the way it started before…
From a distance, I just watched him and remembered…
"Flashback"
I was reading Hogwarts: A History again when suddenly I bumped into something hard and dropped the book along with some others I was holding.
"Watch were the hell you're going Granger!" Got your face attached to a book again have you… why does that not surprise me…I think you could do with a little fun every once in a while, since you clearly lack that in your life…" He smirked while I was picking up my books.
I had just been in a fight with Ron and I really wasn't in the mood for the ferret. I just blew up. It was basically more in general that I was mad at the world, he just got in the way so I took it out on him…
"Oh bugger off Malfoy, no one cares what you think. And I have more than enough fun, thank you very much! Reading a book is also fun for me, learning new things is fun for me. You don't know a damn thing about me Malfoy, so don't act like you know what's good for me! And why would you care about what I need anyway? Don't you want me gone? Vanished from the world? Isn't that what YOUR side is fighting a war for? Isn't that what all you Deatheaters want?!" I didn't even mean to say all those things, didn't even mean them at all, it just came out…
He looked at me and suddenly his expression got very dark …
"Just like you say, I don't know you, Granger, you don't know shit about me either, so keep comments like THAT to yourself!"
He tried to push passed me, but I suddenly felt very bad for saying what I said, so I did something very unexpected to both of us, I took his hand in mine, to stop him from walking away. He turned and looked at our touching hands and then at me..
"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I didn't even mean it. Let's just forget I said that alright, I apologize. I'm also sorry for bumping into you, I wasn't looking where I was going. I'll watch out next time." I smiled at him and let go of his hand. I had just apologized to Malfoy! To Malfoy! Of all people! What the hell is wrong with me? Oh my god I'm still looking at him, why am I still looking at him? Because he's still looking at me. The words just came fluttering out of my mouth and I couldn't stop them: "I hope we can put our difference aside this year. I don't want to keep fighting over stupid things. Let's just try to get along, okay?" Where did that come from? His features are soft.. Not his usual smirk in place. He looks so beautiful, angelic almost. I suddenly noticed that our hands were still intertwined… I thought I let go? Wait, I did let go. Malfoy was holding my hand now. I heard other people approaching the compartment and the moment we were having, looking at each other, was gone… He gave me a quick nod and said "It's fine Granger, let's just get to the meeting okay. We'll see how the year goes..." He let go of my hand and walked into the compartment. I was still a little mesmerized by everything I was feeling at that moment. That was very weird, but also exiting.. After a few seconds of just standing there, I walked in after him…
"End Flashback"
That is where it all began between the two of us. That was the turning point that defined the course of the entire year, the relationship between him and me, and eventually his soon-to-be death…
I see him go in and the moment that would have been, is over… I changed it… None of it ever happened, it exists now only in my thoughts, my memories, of a year that did not happen… A love that would never be…
After realizing this, I couldn't bring myself to go in to the compartment. I just broke down crying. So much pain. My heart was broken and burning. I couldn't stop crying… I just ran to the nearest bathroom and decided to just stay there until we reached Hogwarts, or when I would be able to stop the tears from falling… I had to stop doing this. I had to stop remembering. I had to banish all thoughts about Malfoy, about us…, our love, I just had to, or I would never stop crying...
When I started to run, I didn't notice the pair of beautiful silver-blue eyes watching me from a distance…
Draco's pov
What the hell was that all about? Why was Granger watching me like that? She looked like she was in pain or something… And now she was suddenly running the other way after she watched me go in to the compartment… ? I could see she was crying… What the bloody hell is going on with her?!
During the whole meeting, I couldn't stop my mind from wandering to the know-it-all Gryffindor and where she was. She was a prefect to, so she should be here… Why was she not here? It's not like Granger to miss things like this….
Great! Why the hell am I so distracted about this? Granger is none of my business. I shouldn't care that she is not here. I've got enough problems of my own to worry about…
Still, it's something to keep an eye on…
Hermione's pov
When we arrived at Hogwarts, I looked absolutely horrid. I had been crying in the bathroom all the way down here. Once I ran into the bathroom, I just couldn't bring myself to come out. Ron and Harry are probably wondering where I am…
When I was out of the train, I couldn't help but look around for Draco. When my eyes found him, I wish I had just looked away. I was met with a dirty scowl when he looked back at me. That scowl hurt more than I wanted to admit. The last time I saw him, he was looking at me with so much love and adoration in his eyes and the look I just got was so far away from that, that the pain inside me was almost too hard to bear . This year was going to be so much harder than I had anticipated.
Everywhere I went, I looked for Draco and he started to notice. Other people started to notice to. Other people like Ginny and Luna… I had to stop looking at him. His facial features were starting to soften more and more, every time he caught me looking at him... Feelings were starting to form just like they had the first time around. It wasn't love or even infatuation yet, but more like curiosity and perhaps a longing… And I just couldn't let that happen. I was nothing but trouble for him from the start. We should have just stopped in the first place when things started to get more serious, more than sex, more than friends with benefits, more than hate.. when it became love. We knew how dangerous it was for both of us. We should have found other ways, maybe ask someone for help. We should have known we couldn't do it all by ourselves. But we were stubborn and we wanted to prove that we didn't need other people, who would probably never except us as a couple.
In the back of my mind I couldn't help but wonder if we would ever find each other again? After the war maybe, when all the chaos had died down… I mean, if we were really meant to be, like we thought, isn't that how it would work? We would be together eventually…? Pfff, well with how faith and karma works, eventually could very well be when we are old and grey… After the war if he would not be in Azkaban for crimes committed, he would probably be married off to some pureblood skank. And not knowing what happened before … what we had… he would probably do it without question… That would quite possibly kill me…
After a month of looking at him and him noticing, I think he got fed up with it… I was sitting in the great hall one morning, about a month after school started and I was staring again and all of a sudden he was staring back at me. Bloody hell… I got up and ran out as fast as I could. Half way down the corridor, I heard his voice…
"Alright Granger, you tell me what the hell is going on, right now! Why the bloody hell do you keep staring at me like that?!"
Oops…