It was gone with the wind…
There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed, if I just listened to it right outside the window
There were days when the sun was so cruel
That all the tears turned to dust, and I just knew my eyes were drying up forever
I finished crying in the instant that you left
And I can't remember where or when or how
And I banished every memory you and I had ever made
But when you touch me like this, And you hold me like that
I just have to admit, that it's all coming back to me
When I touch you like this, and I hold you like that
It's so hard to believe but, it's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)
There were moments of gold, and there were flashes of light
There were things I'd never do again, but then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure, it was more than any laws allow
Baby Baby
If I kiss you like this, and if you whisper like that
It was lost long ago, but it's all coming back to me
If you want me like this, and if you need me like that
It was dead long ago, but it's all coming back to me
It's so hard to resist, and it's all coming back to me
I can barely recall, but it's all coming back to me now
There were those empty threats and hollow lies
And whenever you tried to hurt me, I just hurt you even worse and so much deeper
There were hours that just went on for days
When alone at last we'd count up all the chances that were lost to us forever
But you were history with the slamming of the door
And I made myself so strong again somehow
And I never wasted any of my time on you since then
But if I touch you like this, and when you kiss me like that
It was so long ago, but it's all coming back to me
If you touch me like this, and if I kiss you like that
It was gone with the wind, but it's all coming back to me
(It's all coming back, it's all coming back to me now)
There were moments of gold, and there were flashes of light
There were things we'd never do again, but then they'd always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure, it was more than all your laws allow
Baby, Baby, Baby
When you touch me like this, and when you hold me like that
It was gone with the wind, but it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this, and when I see you like that
Then we see what we want to see, all coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies, all coming back to me
I can barely recall, but it's all coming back to me now
If you forgive me all this, If I forgive you all that
We forgive and forget, and it's all coming back to me
When you see me like this, and when I see you like that
We see just what we want to see, all coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies, all coming back to me
I can barely recall, but it's all coming back to me now
"I'm sure I have no idea what you are talking about, Malfoy." There was that scowl on his face again. I guess the curiosity was making him angry now…
"The hell you do, Granger! I see how you keep staring at me! Something is going on and I want to know what, right now!"
"Honestly Malfoy, you have finally lost it. There is nothing going on, really. I'm just… worried… I guess." His face softened a bit.
"Why would you worry? What the hell are you worried about then?"
"Well I've noticed you getting thinner and you look so tired all the time… and I don't know, I guess I just started watching you to see how it progressed. I don't know why really.. You just look so sad Draco… But I'm sorry, it's none of my business, so I'll just stop looking, I promise..." Great, now he was looking at me all funny, like I had gone insane or something…
"I'm…. I'm fine Granger. Thanks for noticing, I guess…" Ok, maybe he didn't think I was insane. He was feeling something, I could see it.. No, no, this was bad. It couldn't happen again… Oh Merlin, say something that you know will make him mad..
"Euhm yeah, you know with everything happening with your family and all, I can see why you would be sad..." Yes, that should do it… I could see the scowl already forming on his face… I know him so well...
"You're right Granger, it's none of your damn business! Go be a fucking know-it-all with Scarhead and the Weasel. I don't need your concern, so stop with the staring already, got it!" And just like that he was walking away from me again. I felt a sting in my heart and a tear escaping my eye. Why was I doing this again? To save his life right? And by saving his life, I have to condemn him to the bad side… condemn his soul... Pfff this is all so fucked up…
I didn't stop staring and he didn't stop staring back. He just didn't talk to me about it again. He just let me. My mind wandered back to "the first time around", that's what I'm calling it now…
"Flashback"
I was walking down the corridor when I heard him.
"Hey Granger, wait up."
"What, Malfoy?" I answered rather heated and annoyed.
"Wow take it easy, I don't want to start a fight." Ugh that annoying smirk of his.
"Then what, Malfoy?" Again I sounded annoyed. I actually didn't mean to sound like that.
"Did you mean what you said on the train?" He asked timidly. Like he was a little scared of asking, or maybe afraid of the answer..
"Did I mean what exactly?" Oh I was going to make him squirm a bit.
"Don't act dumb Granger, it doesn't suit you. What you said about us?" Oh now he was getting annoyed. I couldn't help but smile.
"Yes Malfoy, I meant it. Why? You want to try it?" Now I was really smiling and I think I also gave him a little wink, I'm not really sure…
"Maybe..." Oh my god, he was actually smiling back at me. A real smile, not a smirk, but a real smile, and I liked it. The past years of bullying were just that, in the past. They just didn't seem to matter anymore. That Draco was just a facade I think, and this was the real Draco. I think this qualified as flirting. I'm flirting with Draco Malfoy, and he was flirting back with me. This year was going to be very interesting...
"Might be nice having someone intelligent to talk to every once in a while, instead of those goons I'm use to.." He just complimented me. This is weird.
"Well actually, I'm a little behind in potions. But if you tell anyone that, I will deny it. I could use a little help. Your the best in our class in potions, so… would you mind helping me?" I asked expectantly.
"Well, if you could perhaps help me with Transfiguration?"
"Sure. It's a date." I couldn't stop smiling. This was just so unreal.
We didn't actually set a date for the studying. It was just out there you know. A possibility. An open offer. We didn't really speak to each other either. We just gave each other fleeting glances. A smile wasn't on his face, but I could see it in his eyes. I saw it when he looked at me, when passing one another in the hallways, or looking at each other from across the classroom or the great hall, and knowing that we could be more than enemies. It became a possibility after that day, after that one conversation...I guess it had already become a possibility after that moment in the train...
"End Flashback"
The scowl that was on his face now, when he looked at me, was far from the smile in his eyes I saw 'the first time around'. "It's all for the best.." I kept reminding myself. "I'm saving him.."
"You saved me and my soul, Granger… My wonderful Granger..." Remembering that, I broke down again. It would be a long night of crying again…