I know it's a little late but...

Merry Christmas! Happy Hanukkah! Happy Kwanzaa! Happy New Year! Yeah sorry I haven't been updating sooner, and I could give you every excuse I could think of but NOPE! And none of them are good anyway, so...here's another chapter.

Oh and one more thing: to get a better understanding of this story, just know that in my story the event of episodes such as "Monster Reunion" and "Three Gems and a baby" never occurred (well the latter did but it's not currently snowing.) I hope that clears up some confusion. Anyway enjoy the chapter!

Atop one of many towering pillars of water sitting crossed-legged and shedding her own miserable tears, Pearl was suffering way beyond her usual amount of emotional trauma. She sat there in her own attempt at meditating to calm herself down, but she quickly saw how futile her efforts of a peaceful state of mind were and she resorted to bawling her eyes out in hopes of passing out from exhaustion so she could wake up and pretend that all of this was just a bad dream. Then she'd be able to continue her days as if none of those terrible things ever happened.

But there would be no forgetting any of it this time.

Pearl's normally quiet sobbing echoed off the walls of her room and she could hear her pathetic cries bounce back to her. Hearing herself hit rock bottom like this made Pearl cry even harder and actually made her question if life was worth living, something she had done only once in her life, and that was what seemed like forever ago. She really had hit rock bottom if she had thoughts like that running through her head.

Pearl hadn't really noticed until that moment of misery and despair she was experiencing that she was actually a very needy person. She liked being the center of praise and affection and she always knew that, but deep down she knew how selfish it was but she never wanted to admit it. Just look at her whole life as a Pearl; they were always working for their often harsh superiors and so Pearl decided that the best course of action to survive and have anyone care about her was to continuously go above and beyond for everything she did. Sometimes it worked and sometimes not, but at least it was a plan. Then there was the Rebellion, something Pearl was made to fight for, and she met Rose.

Rose Quartz, Pearl's saving grace. You see, over the years Pearl worked with many different superiors and masters, each of them different in either a negative or positive way, but Rose was the first one to give Pearl a purpose apart from serving those above her. Rose gave her hope, hope that there was more to life and that it was meant to be lived freely and happily without anyone else governing over her choices. It was true, Pearls were basically house slaves for the elite, but Pearl was sick of it, as many of her kin were. This led Pearl to escape from the Diamond Authority and join the Crystal Gems, searching for freedom and happiness.

Then she messed up. She became close friends with Rose Quartz. With Rose being the brave and mighty warrior leader she was, it just made sense for Pearl to be drawn to her, simply a feeling she was used to when it came to authority figures. It was just who she was. As Pearl and Rose fought alongside each other for so long, Pearl began to have feelings that she didn't quite understand for Rose. It was completely alien to her and she couldn't find a rational explanation for it. That's one of the first new things Pearl learned from her Crystal Gem companions, something they all understood that most Gems didn't.

Love.

Pearl had kept her love of Rose hidden from everyone including Rose herself, but the more she did for Rose "in her name", the more everyone knew the love she felt for Rose. Unbeknownst to Pearl though, it was actually very obvious and even Rose herself knew of it. Yes, Pearl was happy because she finally had a purpose greater than herself and it wasn't just the Rebellion. It was Rose, Garnet, and eventually Amethyst.

But that happiness didn't last. By the war's end all of Pearl's other Crystal Gem friends were shattered and it was just herself, Garnet and Rose, then they had found Amethyst at the Alpha Kindergarten. Then eventually Rose met Greg, Rose died and well...everything else was history.

Pearl sometimes found herself resenting Greg for taking Roe away from her. Pearl had dedicated centuries of devotion to both the Rebellion and to Rose herself, and all Greg had to do was sing a song and amaze her with his words, which took literally only took maybe a few hours to do. How was it fair for Rose to abandon Pearl after always being there for her even in times of war and peace? It just wasn't fair, not to Garnet, not to Amethyst and especially not to Pearl. There were even times that Pearl deeply wished that Greg had never had his concert in Beach City, where he and Rose first met, and that way Rose would still be here and life would've been better for her and her friends.

Then Pearl would think of Steven, and how he would have never been born had it not been for their meeting at Greg's concert. Despite her often cold behavior towards Greg even now, Pearl still cared very deeply for the boy. Not only was he alike his mother in so many different ways, he himself was also a very sweet and selfless person that gained the love and respect from most who knew him. And it only took one look at him as a newborn for Pearl to instantly fall in love with him. He was perfect, and that was the very moment when Pearl vowed to be the best guardian and mentor to him that she could, but it wasn't just because he was Rose's son.

He was Steven, her little knight, and after Rose died, the love of her life.

Which is what made her current situation so much harder to bear. A full-scale invasion from Homeworld? They wouldn't stand a chance against those numbers plus their superior technology. Pearl was just going to have to soldier through the burden of knowing the apocalypse was soon coming and get her affairs in order before it came. She didn't have a whole lot of things she wanted to do, but the little she did want to do were important to her in ways that even Garnet and Amethyst could understand. She of course wanted to spend as much time as humanly possible with her little knight and let him know how much she cared for him, but there were a few...other things she needed to get off her plate. And she knew just where to start. After ceasing her crying, wiping away her tears and collecting her remaining self-dignity, she got up and leapt across the tops of the spires, heading deeper inside the temple until the familiar surroundings of her room disappeared and she found herself in another room where she was surrounded by numerous piles of relics, souvenirs and overall just a bunch of junk. She was in Amethyst's room.

It took Pearl a little while to find her fellow compatriot but even she saw movement under a big blanket on atop a particularly tall pile. Pearl put on the bravest face she could and used the happiest voice she could muster and called out to her. "Amethyst, is that you up there?"

"Go away Pearl," the purple gem responded miserably.

"I just want to talk to you," Pearl continued.

"Yeah? Well I definitely don't wanna talk to you right now. So beat it."

Pearl wasn't giving up. She went closer to the pile of junk and began to climb up the side of it, using the various objects as footholds and grips as if it were a rock wall. The nimble gem had reached about halfway up the pile when there was a low rumbling. A few seconds later the pile collapsed into a big heap of junk, taking the two gems down with it. Pearl quickly climbed out of the heap and gave her a quick look over to see if there was any serious damage. After deciding that she was fine she turned to Amethyst who had landed nearby.

"Amethyst, are you-" she began.

"I'm fine!" Amethyst snapped. "Now stop getting my room all messy and get out of here!"

"You're really complaining about me making a mess?" Pearl asked sarcastically, looking around at the pigsty Amethyst called a room. "Have you seen this place?"

"Just go away."

Pearl didn't say anything yet. Instead she sat down next to Amethyst, who was hugging her knees in comfort, tears forming at the corner of her eyes. They sat there like that for a while quietly while Pearl gathered her thoughts and tried to put them into words, until suddenly Amethyst broke the silence.

"Just say it."

"What? What do you want me to say?" Pearl asked.

"Whatever it is that you have to say. You're here now, so just get it over with and leave."

Pearl thought for a second to choose her next words carefully. Then she scratched those out and just said what needed to be said first and foremost. I'm sorry."

Amethyst didn't say anything so she continued. "You're just trying to do what's right, and I shouldn't have reacted the way I did, in fact I should've supported you. The situation seems hopeless, I still stand by that, but that doesn't give us the excuse to just give up without a fight. I don't want you to think I'm your enemy here, I'm on your side and I will stand with you when the fighting starts, no matter what. So what do you say to a little bit of one-on-one training with me? We can prepare as best as we can before everything goes down, refresh some of our skills and then-"

"Why do you think I want to fight so bad, P?" Amethyst asked before Pearl could go on about training any further.

"What?"

"Why do you think I want to fight so bad?" She repeated.

Pearl was confused by her question, especially since she had an answer that they both understood. "Because it's our sworn duty to protect the Earth and all it's inhabitants."

"Wrong answer. I never made that oath, that's what you, Garnet and all of the original Crystal Gems did. I mean that is one of my reasons, but definitely not my first one. Earth means something completely different to me than what It does to you and Garnet. This isn't just my home, it's not just Rose's. This planet is home to to the greatest love of my life, the reason that I'm going to fight with everything I have despite the odds. This is Steven's home."

Pearl was about to remind her who was actually there to save Earth the first time when Amethyst kept going. "Rose wanted to have Steven so bad that she gave her life so that Steven could exist. At the time I didn't understand why she wanted him so bad, none of us did, but I respected Rose's choices and helped look after the little runt while he grew up. And it sucks without Rose, believe me it does, but over the years as I watched little Steven grow up into who he's become now I finally understood why Rose has him." Amethyst took her finger and began to draw a picture of Steven in the dust of her floor, then she took a deep breath before continuing. "Gems are made to be one thing for their entire lives, always the same, never changing, and gems live immortal lives if they don't become shattered. We don't grow like humans do, we don't get to make mistakes and learn from them, and we don't get to be something other than what we were made to be. But humans...humans get to experience so many different things and they get to be whoever they want without anything holding them back. Humans are free to do anything they want and have anything they desire, and they get to change, Pearl. They get to change Into anything and everything they can imagine. Rose knew that change was good for everyone and that all living things deserve to be able to change, and no being should ever take that power away from someone. She wanted Earth to still have that power, and she wanted Steven to have that power also. And after years of hoping and wishing that Rose would come back instead of him being here, I could finally see why Rose wanted it so much. And as long as I live, I'm going to make sure Steven...and all of the humans on Earth are able to do and become what they wish to be, and if I did defending all the human souls on this planet, keeping the promise I made to Rose, and keeping the promise I made to myself, then I'll die a happy gem."

Pearl had sat there and expected Amethyst to complain about how much Pearl rides on her for being as reckless and as negative as she is, but instead Pearl discovered a lot about Amethyst's inner self and feelings, the things that she never showed around others. Pearl was definitely unprepared for how this conversation was going, and so she had a difficult time trying to form a decent response to Amethyst's thought-provoking rant. Before she could come up with anything Amethyst spoke again.

"I bet you didn't expect me to say all of that, now did you?" She asked.

Pearl simply replied with "I was not."

"Hm, figures. I'm not the one who's really open to sharing my feelings with others, especially since people think they know me just after taking one look at me. The world isn't a very nice place if you're far from perfection like I am, not trying to be pitiful."

"Amethyst, I never knew you harboured...such intense emotions all this time," Pearl said in a surprised tone.

"That's a good thing."

"No it's not Amethyst. Why haven't you ever tried to talk to me about this?" Pearl asked, showing her newfound concern for her friend.

"Really? That's your question? Have you ever tried coming to me and seeing if I ever needed to talk? No, all you ever do is criticize me on how I look or how I act, and did you ever think that I was just okay with you just judging me all the time?"

"I never meant to make you so insecure about yourself, I just wanted you to be the best gem you could," Pearl said, trying to justify her less than perfect attitude towards Amethyst. "And I wanted you to be someone worthy of Steven looking up to."

"Oh so now I'm not good enough to raise Steven!?" Amethyst asked angrily, her tone becoming hostile and aggressive. "Are you saying that I'm nothing but an example of what not to be for Steven? Well news flash Pearl, not everyone can be Little Miss Perfect like you, least all of meeting! Does it really matter if my grammar is informal or not, or if I don't always make the best choices in life?"

"Amethyst I-"

"NO!" Amethyst shouted. "Stop thinking about all the ways I'm not like you and think about how everything judgemental you do to me affects my entire life! All you ever do is judge me without ever trying to figure out why I am who I am! You think just because you knew Rose the longest and you lived on Homeworld, that makes you better than me! And you know what I'll even admit it, you are better than me in just about every single way, but that doesn't mean you know what's best for me. I'm my own person, with my own beliefs and my own way of doing things. Learn to respect me, or we'll never get along. Do I make myself clear, or am I being to "informal" for you still?" She asked after she had finished.

Pearl slowly nodded in response.

"Good. Now back on what we started talking about, we need to figure out some way to prepare ourselves in case Homeworld does decide to invade."

"R-right, of course," Pearl agreed. "We should wait for Garnet though."

"Yeah, got a point there," she replied.

There was an awkward pause between the two before Pearl said, "Well Garnet might still be mad, so we should probably just do it another time."

Amethyst solemnly nodded.

"I should go, leave you alone so you can..." Pearl trailed off, trying to think of ways to finish her statement when Amethyst let out a light chuckle before saying "I get it, and that would be a good idea."

Then Pearl started walking away, but not before Amethyst said "This conversation never happened. Pretend like it never existed...but don't forget any of it."

"I understand. My lips are sealed."

And with that Pearl was gone, leaving Amethyst alone once more to ponder the recent events and the talk they just had.

If only she knew. If only any of them knew what it's like being in my shoes.

After she was certain that she was alone, she let the tears that had been building up during her talk with Pearl finally fall, and while she silently shed those burning tears she began to quietly sing to herself.

"Lately I've been hard to reach, I've been too long on my own..."

"Come on Paulette, just give me one more chance!"

"No, as if I'd ever try going out with you again. I can't believe I ever like you," The characters from Camp Pining Hearts said on the TV.

Lapis and Peridot were sitting in the boat-turned balcony they made into the barn and watching vhs reruns of the old show. Today had been basically another slow and uneventful day, and so all the two gems did was watch CPH and occasionally walked their living pumpkin-dog, which they had lovingly named "Lil' Orange". At the moment Lapis and Peridot were curled up in a fluffy purple comforter with Orange watching the reality TV show drama unfold.

"Give him another chance? As if Paulette would ever do that for that scumbag Percy." Peridot noted.

"I would give him one," Lapis said. "Sometimes second chances are what we all need to show who we really are."

"Well...I see where you're coming from, but I still don't think Percy deserves Paulette's sympathy."

Lapis hummed in response.

Although she was engaged in both the show and Peridot's comments, Lapis' mind was elsewhere. Her thoughts were turned to the time she spent with Steven the night before, when they were talking on the hill behind the temple. Lapis was concerned, and even thought Steven said he was fine she knew he was hiding something. Something big.

Being trapped in a mirror for centuries, Lapis had come across many "owners" over the years, each of them mostly different from the last, so she knew people's personalities and behaviors pretty well. Her ability to read people was so good that it was almost involuntary like blinking, and her instincts were telling her that Steven was definitely lying when he said he was fine. It actually hurt Lapis a little that he didn't trust her with keeping a secret even after everything they've been through. After all she trusts him with her life, so why couldn't be tell her what he's been hiding from everyone?

Lapis just hoped that whatever it was wasn't putting himself in harm's way, she wouldn't know what to do with herself if something bad happened to him. Apart from Peridot, Steven was the only one she truly trusted on this planet.

Then there were the Crystal Gems. Sure Steven and Peridot trusted them and treated them as if they were family, and they always treated Lapis with some level of respect, but none of that even came close to making up for the centuries of being trapped inside the tiny confines of that mirror, where she was neglected and had no one to talk to for what at the time seemed like eternity. She resented them for putting her through all that misery and never even considering that she was in pain that entire time, and had it not been for Steven she might've been trapped forevermore inside that blasted relic. Yeah, there was no way she would be quick to forgive them for that. But Steven cherished them like there was no tomorrow, and even Peridot was developing friendships for them, so in the meantime Lapis would treat them well, until they cause any harm whatsoever towards Steven or decide Lapis needs to be imprisoned once more. Then there'd be Hell to pay.

Despite all of these terrible but justified feelings towards the Crystal Gems Lapis couldn't help but think back to what Steven said about different perspectives. He made them seem like heroes for saving this planet, and it appeared that that's how he viewed them. Lapis didn't personally have any kind of praise for anyone back on Homeworld, but she could piece things together and get a basic picture of why Steven held them so high, and it actually did make a lot of sense. Without them Mankind would've been wiped out and the was Earth destroyed, harvested and mined for resources for Homeworld's never-ending conquest of every planet they came across. It made sense, and Lapis knew that nothing would ever change Steven's feelings for the Crystal Gems, so she would do anything to protect and help them in times of need. For Steven's sake, and nothing more.

And then there was Peridot. Lapis' relationship with Peridot was definitely not perfect, but it was nowhere near as bad as it was with the Crystal Gems. Peridot kidnapped Lapis the minute she returned to Homeworld, then took her back to Earth and used her as an informant to put Steven and his friends in danger, not the best way to make friends. But nevertheless Peridot did try to make amends with Lapis and eventually they did, and since then they've been getting along just fine. Lapis thought Peridot was a little odd and weird at times but other than that she didn't put Peridot in a negative light. Eventually after living with her for some time now Lapis decided that Peridot was no danger to her at all and she was just following orders when she kidnapped Lapis, so there's really no reason to hold a grudge against her. In fact is seemed that Peridot wasn't a danger to anyone for that matter, so Lapis had nothing to worry about.

While she was thinking about all of this Lapis decided that it would be a good idea to just avoid the Crystal Gems for a while and just stay here with Peridot, clear her head and enjoy her new freedom.

And then this happened.

While Lapis continued watching TV she saw Peridot in the corner of her eyes grab her nearby tablet and fired it up, then began to surf the internet. She saw a few things that made her smile, chuckle, then a few seconds later her expression went from happy to blank. This expression was quickly replaced with one of pure terror and she turned to Lapis.

"Lapis."

"Yeah?" Lapis said distractedly.

"You need to look at this," Peridot said, shoving the device in her face.

Lapis sighed and pushed it away before saying "Peridot, I have no interest in human engineering, international politics or cute cat videos. Let me watch the show."

"No, this is serious. I need you to look at this," Peridot persisted.

With an exasperated sigh she said "Fine" and took the tablet from her and looked at the image on display. It was some weird spaceship-looking thing.

"Is this another alleged "alien flying saucers" that you and the rest of the world-wide web is so fascinated by?" She asked in a sarcastic tone.

"No this real, listen to this." Peridot looked at the news report under the image. "A couple of weeks ago several satellites from different governments picked up strange signals from outside the atmosphere in space. Then the satellites took pictures of what appears to be a giant spacecraft, unknown to every country in the world. After failed attempts at identifying the type of spacecraft, it has been decided the craft is one that is not of Earth and that it is definitely alien in origin."

"Yeah, so?" Lapis asked.

"No one on the entire planet knows what this is," Peridot explained. "Except me."

"Well then miss know-it-all, what is it?"

Peridot looked at the image, took a deep but shuddering breath, which actually kind of concerned Lapis. Then Peridot spoke.

"It's a Homeworld ship. There's no doubt about it."

"What!? Let me see!" Lapis leaned over to get another look at the ship. "Are you absolutely sure that's a ship from Homeworld?" She asked after realizing how serious the situation was.

Peridot grimly nodded, confirming their greatest fears. "I'm positive."

Panic set in, and Lapis began freaking out a little. "What are we going to do? What are we going to do!?"

"We have to tell the Crystal Gems," Peridot said as calm as she could, even thought she was doing a terrible job at hiding her own fear. "Right now."

"Whoa, wait a minute. We can't tell them now, they'd be asleep, "Lapis said, gesturing towards the night sky. "We should wait until tomorrow."

"B-but what if the ship attacks before tomorrow?" Peridot asked in a panic tone. "Oh my stars, they're coming to destroy us all!" She began to quiver with fear and soon she started hyperventilating.

"Calm down Peridot, calm down." Lapis put her hands on Peridot's shoulders to get her attention. "Breathe. Breath."

Eventually Peridot's frantic behavior had ceased and she calmed down to the point where she was able to talk normally. "Okay. I'm calm."

"Now, here's what we're going to do," said Lapis. "Tomorrow the first thing we do is go over to where Steven and the gems live and tell them about..this situation. Then we can work out some kind of plan, okay? I can only do this if you're with me. Are you with me?"

"I'm with you," Peridot replied.

"Good. I know that this is...kind of scary, or horrifying for that matter, but for now let's just watch this show and not worry about any of this, okay?"

"I can't. I just can't do tha-"

"Peridot, I need you to do this for me. Can do this for me now?"

Peridot looked away for a moment, and Lapis was afraid that she would start freaking out again, but then Peridot looked back with uncertainty in her eyes and she said "Okay."

Then the two returned to watching the reality TV show that they loved, but neither of them could forget the terror that was still present in their hearts. Lapis was suddenly afraid and had the strong urge to protect everyone she knew, even the Crystal Gems. She didn't want anything to happen to any of them, especially Steven.

And for some odd reason the feeling was very strong for...Peridot.

Without another thought Lapis grabbed Peridot and hugged her close. The surprised green gem let out a shrill "eek!" at Lapis' sudden gesture, but then melted in her arms and returned the favor by lovingly hugging Lapis back.

"Peridot?"

"Yes Lapis?"

"Promise me you'll always be with me, no matter what happens?"

"I promise," Peridot said with a smile.

Lapis also smiled to herself, a single year rolling down her cheek, knowing an uncertain future lies ahead of here.

And she didn't want to face it alone.

Hope that was a decent chapter, be sure to follow and fav for more content, BLAH BLAH BLAH. Also give me feedback! I'm only 14 going on 15 so I'm not the greatest writer. Criticism is always wanted!

Also that song that Amethyst started singing? It'll make appearances all throughout this story. It's a sad song, and it can apply to really every character here, especially if you read Separate Ways before this. I'll reveal the title when it's time ;)

Anyway peace to all my fans and I'll see you in the next one.