Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass. The only profit I make from this fanfiction is the joy of writing and sharing my headcanons.
Thank you to everyone who commented, left kudos, started following my Tumblr, etc. :D
Thanks to my lovely beta-reader, TheGeminiSage, for looking over this whale of a tale. She is love. Go read her Undertale comic, Refuse. :D
Please enjoy the slow burn romance. x3
Chapter 2: Growing Fire
"Cat hunt, everyone!"
Suzaku looked up from his battered school library textbook, grateful to abandon a complicated concept. As he listened to the announcement, he idly noticed sunbeams dancing lazily through the open air, illuminating the drifting specks of dust entangled in the light. Suzaku could relate; he was a dust particle. Only, he had a grand purpose. He was alone in an otherwise empty classroom, trying to get caught up on some extra work. His detention with Coach Ryder was set to start in an hour, so he had time to kill. (He was good at killing—) He'd already tried to scrub his gym shirt clean, but all he'd managed to do was rub the graffiti further into the fabric. Lelouch had disappeared right after the last class had ended, and Suzaku hadn't wanted to bother him by showing up uninvited at the Lamperouge suite.
Not that he thought Lelouch would mind so terribly much.
Lelouch would mind the school's crazy shenanigans. Their seven-year separation notwithstanding, Suzaku knew this about Lelouch, at the very least.
"This is your Student Council president, Milly Ashford! There's a cat loose on campus, and it needs to be rounded up…"
Interest piqued, Suzaku slid to his feet. Cats were fast, but he thought he could catch one easily enough. What kind of soldier would he be if he couldn't capture one measly feline? And besides, maybe participating in a fun school-wide event would improve his social status. Maybe showing those racist Britannian boys what he was made of would change their minds. Suzaku had reason to fight.
"And when you do catch that cat, there's an extra-special prize! A big ol' kiss from one of the members of the Council!" the Student Council president cackled.
Suzaku slipped into the long hallway, falling into place behind a gaggle of schoolgirls.
"A Student Council member! Does that include Lelouch?" they giggled amongst themselves.
Suzaku stopped dead in his tracks. Even in Britannian culture, 'Lelouch' was an uncommon name. Thinking of Lelouch in the given context caused another odd thought to stray through Suzaku's mind like a pesky dust particle. If I caught the cat, could I win myself a kiss from my best friend? As soon as he thought it, Suzaku stomped that idea into the metaphorical ground, shocked with himself for the mere consideration. If I ever do kiss Lelouch, I want it to be because of mutual affection, not because it's forced as part of the conditions of some game. That, knowing Lelouch, he probably never agreed to in the first place. On that note, he didn't want any of those flighty schoolgirls to get near his friend's lips. Yes, I have to protect Lelouch's virtue! Even Suzaku knew how far he was stretching it, but he felt he needed the ridiculous excuse. It kept him going.
He'd been determinedly dashing around for roughly ten minutes when he ran into a flustered-looking Lelouch—a much better find than the cat altogether.
"Suzaku!"
"Lelouch!"
Doubling over, Lelouch gasped for breath again.
The sight oddly enough reminded Suzaku of the end of gym class. Then he remembered the beginning of gym class, and before his pants could tighten, he rushed to distract himself with a probing question. "Are you looking for the cat, too?" Suzaku gave Lelouch a shaky grin.
Lelouch's head shot up, his eyes wide and panicked. "Y-you're looking for the cat?" he asked warily. "Suzaku, don't—"
Nodding, Suzaku impatiently explained, "The Student Council president said to catch it, so I thought…"
"Please don't get involved with this," Lelouch said, violet eyes pleading with Suzaku to stay put. "I'll get the cat!"
Suzaku lifted his chin. "You'll get it? Lelouch, you can't even stand!" His eyes narrowed critically as he looked his friend up and down—he was not checking him out, dammit, but god was that boy attractive—taking in his friend's pale face and dilated pupils. Lelouch was more disheveled than Suzaku had seen him yet; even his black hair was mussed from running. Why in the world is Lelouch so scared of me finding the cat? Is it just me, or is he scared anyone might happen across the cat? He couldn't remember Lelouch being so frantic—except over Nunnally. But Nunnally, as far as Suzaku could tell, was no cat. Maybe he was missing something. It had been known to happen. Occasionally.
Lelouch stumbled closer to Suzaku, clearly winded from rushing all over campus. He collapsed against Suzaku's stronger frame, and Suzaku tried to stabilize him while steadying his own nerves at the close contact. "You'll just have to stay with me then," Lelouch whispered—just as a cat's meow echoed down from the top of the school bell tower above them.
Torn, Suzaku itched to lay his weak friend against a pillar and sprint up the stairs. But he wouldn't do that, not to Lelouch. "No, you'll just have to come with me," Suzaku decided and pulled the gasping Lelouch towards the top. He feared he was jerking the poor prince's arms out of his sockets, but Lelouch was lagging behind and Suzaku wanted to reach that cat. He couldn't resist the urge to tease Lelouch about his stamina as they battled the steep, shadowy steps, and Suzaku found himself comfortable thinking of old times.
Lelouch always had meant the world to him. Barring their disastrous first meeting, and the weeks of awkward disdain following, and the subsequent arguments they'd gotten into before giving friendship a try—okay, well, Lelouch had always been a driving force in his life. Lelouch had become Suzaku's world during the war, when reality was collapsing around them like the gunned down innocents, and Lelouch, bitter yet resourceful, was the one who'd shared his strength with Suzaku so he could continue forward. Lelouch had left enough of an impact that Suzaku could find his own footing after Lelouch's royal contacts had whisked him and Nunnally away, and Suzaku had hoped every day since their parting that their paths might cross again. Lelouch had been dragged from him by force and necessity as children, but there was no way Suzaku was letting go of him now.
Suzaku then reluctantly let go of Lelouch's hand to pull himself out the tiny window cut into the roof, and he spotted the cat a little farther up. There was something black on its head, but—no, it was gone in the blink of an eye. Maybe he was seeing things; he was more focused on Lelouch than the cat anyway. He had to get his mind in gear. The plan was to climb up, gather the cornered cat in his arms, and return back to the safe interior of the tower—and to Lelouch. Of course, things were never that simple. As soon as Suzaku had scaled half the roof, Lelouch, tired though he was, tried to follow.
Then, Lelouch misjudged a handhold, started to slide, and yelped—alerting Suzaku to the imminent danger.
"Lelouch!" Suzaku screeched, an icy fear expanding in his chest. If he falls, he won't survive! Suzaku panicked. The hard ground rested four stories below, enabling dark promises of splattered guts. What would I do without him? Unwilling to go back to a life without Lelouch in it—been there, done that, it was godawful—Suzaku pushed himself down, ignoring any danger to himself so he could save his frail friend. He frantically grabbed Lelouch's hand, while the other grabbed hold of the windowsill; it wouldn't do if they both fell to their deaths. (No, he wasn't ready to face his—)
His heart pounding furiously, Suzaku hauled Lelouch to the window, not breathing until the other teen was safe in his grasp. Raking his eyes over Lelouch's shaken but unhurt body, he breathed a sigh of relief and a weak chuckle escaped his lips.
Lelouch beamed at him and shuffled a bit closer, looking for stability on the bright roof tiles. "Suzaku," he breathed. "Thank you." Violet eyes were wide but calm, and some of Lelouch's inner strength transferred over to Suzaku through their linked hands. It was reminiscent of all the close calls they'd saved each other from throughout the wartime.
"Pretty calm for someone on the verge of death," Suzaku pointed out breathlessly. His heart soared at their luck and he felt closer to Lelouch than he had since starting Ashford Academy. A refreshing breeze dried some of the sweat on his face. Suzaku gradually became aware of life beyond Lelouch—of rays of light and dust coating the sun-warmed roof, of the crisp-smelling air, of birds chirping underneath them from a nest in the bell tower rafters...
Lelouch's laugh threaded beautifully with birdsong. "Yeah, right! I was just limp with fear."
Suzaku smiled, still giddy with relief. The warm and grateful look on Lelouch's face gave Suzaku butterflies in his stomach, which didn't help with his dazed state. The top of a bell tower was no place to be dizzy, as Lelouch had just proven, and Suzaku's limbs started to shake in the aftermath of their latest near-death experience. "Go inside," he pleaded, nudging Lelouch towards the window opening. Maybe he didn't need to physically prod Lelouch to safety—being a certified genius, Lelouch was certainly capable of understanding verbal directions—but Suzaku just couldn't help himself for some reason. He felt compelled. "I'll get the cat and join you."
Purple eyes scanned the top of the bell tower, then drifted to the left as Lelouch came to a decision. "All right," he relented at last. Then, to Suzaku's great relief, he slid inside the bell tower.
Suzaku counted to ten, regained his bearings, and turned to climb. Before he could start upwards, the cat scuttled down of its own accord, hopped into and out of his lap, and jumped right into Lelouch's waiting arms inside. Mentally shrugging, Suzaku followed and gave thanks for the solid floor once again under his feet. Under Lelouch's feet.
"Here," Lelouch said softly, stepping closer. "After all that, you deserve him." As he finished speaking, he pressed the purring cat into Suzaku's arms. A deep chuckle emitted from his lips, and he squeezed Suzaku's shoulder appreciatively. "You should go on ahead. I have to do something real quick, but I'll be down in a moment."
It felt safer to look at the cat than at Lelouch. Suzaku's grip on the feline tightened, and the cat hissed its displeasure. Suzaku barely noticed. He wanted more than anything to stay by Lelouch's side. "I can wait for you," he offered, almost shyly. Suzaku normally handled himself quite well with people, despite any prejudices on the other party's side. He could put on his best front and blend in with society as much as he was allowed. Suzaku was by no means timid, but oddly enough, now that he was anxious to be with his long-lost friend...
"No need," Lelouch said hastily. "I'll be right down." He smiled encouragingly at Suzaku and gave him a gentle shove towards the stairs.
Suzaku sighed but did as requested. He had such trouble denying his best friend, even now. When he reached the bottom, he was shocked to find a good portion of the student body waiting for him. The spacious courtyard was packed with students jostling each other on the pavement. "Huh?"
"Good job, Suzaku!" Shirley exclaimed, running over. Rivalz followed quickly, also smiling. Suzaku relaxed at their friendly, familiar faces.
"So," boomed a blonde, emerging from the crowd. "This is the Eleven starring in all the rumors." She circled him, and Suzaku felt uneasy at the inspection. She was peering at him from all angles, and he didn't want her to look too closely. "You don't look dangerous," she concluded in a sweet voice. "You caught the cat and you saved our darling Lelou! Therefore, I say you must not be bad!"
Suzaku swallowed thickly. "Uh…"
The blonde moved to stand in front of him, unbearably close. "That cat was carrying something, wasn't it?" she asked slyly, leaning forward to furthermore encroach upon his personal space.
Sheepishly, Suzaku shrugged and smiled. "It was," he confirmed. "There was something on its head, but it must have slipped off when I wasn't looking." He automatically leaned back, trying to maintain distance from the invasive blonde girl. Only Lelouch can be this close to me. Where is he when I need him?
"And where's Lelou now?" Shirley asked desperately, echoing Suzaku's inner thought.
Suzaku smiled. "He'll be here soon," he promised. "He told me he had to do something, and that I should go on ahead."
"That's it!" the blonde screamed excitedly, pointing a finger at him. "The embarrassing secret that he's hiding!"
Suzaku blinked. Lelouch is hiding something? I hope they're not onto his past! And his old friendship with me!
"So that's it, Madame President?" Lelouch asked, walking out from the darkness to stand beside Suzaku. His presence calmed Suzaku's flurry of fears. "You staged this whole cat hunt just to embarrass me?"
"Yup," the blonde answered freely. "But you just had to ruin it. Man, after all these years, I thought I got some dirt on you!"
Lelouch suppressed a shudder.
"Yeah," Shirley teased. "He almost lost his cool for once."
Suzaku's smile grew as he turned to discreetly look at his secret friend. Lelouch had done well for himself, making kindhearted—if not completely weird—friends for himself. He almost gave in to jealousy, but Lelouch stepped in again and took him by surprise.
"Madame President," Lelouch said formally, addressing the blonde with grudging respect. "Would you permit Suzaku as a member of the Student Council?"
Suzaku's jaw dropped, and he held the cat tighter in his arms. What did he just say?! The feline hissed again and promptly bit down on his fingers. Suzaku gasped and dropped the creature; the cat, of course, landed on its feet. "Le-Lelouch," he said wonderingly. "Why would you…"
"Don't question it," Lelouch ordered, turning to fix Suzaku with his intense stare. "You're required to join a club anyway, so you might as well be with me while you're at it, right?"
A wave of dizziness overcame Suzaku, but at least he was on solid ground. "Yeah," he murmured, not knowing what else to say. "That sounds good." He wanted to hug Lelouch, but he didn't think the aloof prince would appreciate that effort. Then, after that, he wanted to smack Lelouch for bringing them closer together again. Didn't that blessed boy understand that they were better off apart? Honestly, Lelouch was supposed to be smart.
The blonde blinked and stepped back. "Well," she said thoughtfully, "you are the vice president." She looked between the two boys, and a wicked gleam sparkled in her eye. "I suppose I can't refuse."
"Do you two know each other?" asked a girl with reddish-pink hair, weaving her way to the front of the crowd.
"B-but, he's an Eleven," protested a short, green-haired girl wearing glasses.
Suzaku gaped at them, searching for his voice. "N-no, we just—" he started, but Lelouch forcefully interrupted him.
"He's my friend," Lelouch proclaimed loudly, the words ringing throughout the school courtyard. "My best friend," he continued, stubbornly staring into Suzaku's eyes.
Suzaku's breath caught in his throat, and everyone else gawked. Many students sported horrified looks on their faces; Suzaku spotted several familiar profiles. In the crowd were the bullies from the hallway before first period, the proud Britannians from history class (there was Chloe's disgusted sneer, that Dixon kid's appalled face, that boy Fox's scornful expression), the girls who'd fled from him that morning when he'd asked for directions… Suzaku wanted to weasel his way back to the military base, but Lelouch only stepped closer and linked elbows with him, radiating support. Students clumped together in groups and started gossiping, only a few not looking outraged or disbelieving.
"Best friend?" the blonde president repeated loudly over the crowd, humming in her throat.
Lelouch smirked and nodded. "Yes," he confirmed quietly.
"Well," the blonde chirped cheerily, "that answers that. Okay, show's over, people! Everyone go back to club activities! All Student Council members, meet in the designated room!" She turned back to the two friends, blue eyes glittering with mischief, and reiterated, "And Lelouch? You can bring Suzaku with you." She motioned Shirley, Rivalz, the redhead, and the glasses girl across the lawn.
Lelouch heaved a sigh as he watched them go. "They're an odd bunch," he remarked wistfully. "But they're generally good people."
Suzaku nodded. In all his years, he'd never been as close to any friend as he'd been to Lelouch; even his fellow Honorary Britannian soldiers who technically shared his pain didn't get him on such a deep level as the Britannian prince seemed to, even after seven years apart. Suzaku idly pondered if Lelouch thought the same way about him. He wondered if Lelouch could feel the pulsing connection in the air between them, too, linking them together in something special. Or am I just another regular old friend, like those students on the Council? About them… "I don't want to invade your social life," he said, shifting awkwardly. Lelouch's arm around his was making his skin tingle, despite the barrier of clothing. "I mean, they're your friends, so…"
"It's not like that," Lelouch rebuked. "You're not automatically their friend because of me. You have to earn their trust and friendship yourself; I'm just giving you an opportunity to get close to them and try." He smiled warmly in Suzaku's direction before untangling their arms. "Let's go. The Student Council meets in the Clubhouse Hall, which is the same building I live in."
"Oh," Suzaku muttered. "Lead on, then."
Before Lelouch could take a step, three boys surrounded them. By the harsh expressions on their faces and the rippling muscles apparent even under their uniforms, they looked to be a formidable force. Suzaku took a step back automatically, trying to keep the peace, but Lelouch held his ground.
The familiar boy in the middle leered. "Hey there, little Eleven fucker. Long time no see." His cronies laughed, and he had to raise his voice to be heard over them. "Good job finding the cat just now. Too bad I can't say the same about your books." He finally joined in the laughter, throwing his head back as the guffaws shook his body.
Suzaku lowered his head, brown bangs covering his eyes. His moment of victory hadn't lasted long after all. Why can't they leave me alone?
Lelouch's eyes narrowed and he took a measured step forward. "Well, well. Synclair Worth. Why does it not surprise me that you've taken to bullying Suzaku?" His jaw muscles worked as his teeth clenched, and he stared up into steely gray eyes.
"Well, well. Lelouch Lamperouge," mocked the ringleader, shaking his head in faux bemusement. "Why does it not surprise me that you've taken a liking to society's trash?" Still chuckling, he made a show of holding his nose, gesturing to Suzaku. His two followers chorused beside him, "Ew! Ew!" They were like a gang of middle-school girls—more annoying than anything, but still hurtful in the end.
Suzaku cringed.
Lelouch glared, seeming to be struggling to control himself. "Step aside and leave us alone," he ordered.
The three boys didn't listen, too busy looking at each other and laughing. Synclair Worth, the leader, only brushed his sandy-brown hair off his forehead and smirked. "Keep an eye out, losers," he warned. "You two may be 'best friends,' but Kururugi's an Eleven and I have society on my side." Gray eyes glinted. With a cheerful wave, he gathered his two friends and called to Suzaku, "You got a little something on your head, you garbage pile. Maybe you should be more careful with your books, huh?" He chuckled, turned, and threw ominously over his shoulder, "See you before class tomorrow, little fucker!"
Raising his head, Suzaku watched them go with a defeated expression. Without looking at Lelouch, he explained weakly, "They…threw my textbooks at my head this morning." As he finally admitted the truth aloud, he touched the cut on his temple to make the connection clear. "Then they took my books away."
Lelouch stared long and hard at Suzaku, purple eyes guarded. Finally, he just sighed. Disappointed. "Let's get to the Student Council. Everyone's waiting."
Suzaku's heart rate picked up as they neared their destination, just another sophisticated building that at first glance seemed like all the others dotting Ashford Academy's vast grounds. He wanted to grab onto Lelouch's arm again, but he shied away from the urge. His imagination kept replaying scenes of earlier in the locker room, and a million questions weighed on his mind. Humiliation and apprehension kept his mouth shut; he didn't want Lelouch to somehow sense the truth and be disgusted with him. I couldn't bear it if Lelouch kept his distance, even though that's what I said I wanted. "Thank you for everything," he mumbled, which honestly summed up everything, and kept his eyes on the grass. Except when he had to sneak glances at Lelouch because he was unable to help himself.
Lelouch grunted in acknowledgment. "I've done nothing you need to thank me for, Suzaku." He seemed at peace walking with Suzaku to the Student Council room if the content little smile on his face was anything to judge by.
Suzaku grinned, trembling a little as they entered the Clubhouse Hall, the cat trotting at their heels. His situation loomed over him like the bell tower loomed over the rest of the school. He was going to be spending time with Lelouch's friends, and he desperately didn't want to mess up. I hope they like me.
With a nod of encouragement, Lelouch pushed open the door to the Student Council room and stepped inside. Breathing deeply, Suzaku followed.
"Lelou!" Shirley launched herself at him.
Something burned in Suzaku's belly at the sight. Burying any negative emotions, he glanced around the room. The bookshelves built into the wall spoke of practicality, and the purple rolling chairs around the central conference table spoke of comfort layering business. There was a scenic painting on the wall, and flowers on a stand of dresser drawers. Overall, it seemed welcoming enough. By far the most inviting sight was the collection of smiles pulling him in.
The blonde president cheerily waved at him. "I'm Milly Ashford!" she introduced herself finally. "I'm sure you'll be a great addition to the Council, Suzaku. If Lelouch believes in you, I have to respect that; not many people earn our dear Lelouch's trust so easily."
"I can imagine," Suzaku laughed. He smiled softly at another rediscovery that even after seven years, Lelouch was still Lelouch.
The redhead stepped forward. "I'm Kallen," she said, and immediately coughed and fell to her knees. At once, Suzaku knelt by her side.
"She's just sick a lot," Rivalz explained, leaning casually against the corner projector screen. "Nothing to worry about. She's not dying or anything."
"How rude!" Shirley exclaimed, backing off of Lelouch and glaring at Rivalz. "Don't take Kallen's illness so lightly!"
Kallen nodded her thanks and stood, wobbling unsteadily on her feet even as she used the sturdy table for support. Suzaku put his arms out to steady her, but she never fell over, and he eventually lowered his arms so he didn't look stupid. As if he didn't already. He looked around, feeling increasingly awkward.
The bespectacled girl from the courtyard was frozen in a corner, her shoulders stiff as she hunched over a desktop computer. She made no mention that she even recognized Suzaku's arrival.
"So, Suzaku," Milly said slyly, gliding over to stand beside him and regaining his attention. The sparkle in her eye was the brightest thing in the room. "You caught the cat, so you get to choose one of us to give you a kiss. Who oh who shall it be?" She flicked a mischievous gaze towards Lelouch, making Suzaku breathe a little heavier.
"No one," he said, hoping they couldn't read him like a book. He wanted to sink through the floor, or maybe merge with the walls. "I don't know any of you well enough to—I mean, besides Lelouch, but that is—"
Shirley shook her head, casting the Japanese transfer a sympathetic glance. "Milly, don't force Suzaku to choose someone. He's right; he doesn't know anyone. It's not fair to expect him to feel comfortable enough with one of us…"
Milly giggled. "But I promised that the winner could earn a kiss from a member of the Council. I won't go back on my word."
Huffing, Shirley flipped her orange hair over her shoulder and said, "But he doesn't want to!"
They went back and forth, arguing over Suzaku's right to a kiss. Their debate was going nowhere, so Suzaku plopped himself onto a white futon couch along the wall to wait it out. He smiled brightly when Lelouch came to hover over him.
"This is ridiculous," Lelouch said quietly, but everyone heard and stopped what they were doing to stare at him. Purple eyes searched green, and Lelouch carefully nudged Suzaku's chin up with a pale index finger. Suzaku's breathing grew shallow, but Lelouch only leaned down and—at the last second—tilted his head to the side so his lips lightly brushed Suzaku's cheek.
Suzaku froze. His pulse was racing so hard he barely felt the gesture, and the room seemed to fade away. His fingers clenched around the couch cushion, and he couldn't help the near-inaudible whimper that escaped him as Lelouch pulled away.
Milly catcalled.
"There," Lelouch said softly. "Problem solved. Okay?"
Suzaku nodded numbly. "Y-yeah…" Wow.
"Just like when we were kids, right?" the outcast prince reminded him, taking a seat on the couch. Again, Suzaku nodded.
Shirley's eyes bulged out of her head. "What?!"
Lelouch redirected his attention to her. "Suzaku and I were best friends when we were young." He might as well have made a sign and tacked it to one of the numerous bulletin boards. Possibly framed. "I consider it good fortune that we ended up running into each other here."
Rivalz swung around, his crossed arms falling loose. "Whoa, really?! No wonder you trust him already."
Shirley pointed an accusing finger at Lelouch. "But…but you guys introduced yourselves today!"
Suzaku raised his hand, forgetting he wasn't in class. "That was my fault. I thought it would be best if we pretended not to know each other." He glared at his best friend, eyes smoldering. "I still don't think you should've ruined yourself like that. I'm an Eleven, Lelouch, and not everyone is so accepting. Why make enemies for my sake?" And he calls me stupid!
Shrugging, Lelouch said, "Because you're worth it. We're best friends, Suzaku, and I've never forgotten." He glared right back, defiance flashing in his eyes.
Lelouch's adamant words soothed Suzaku's aching heart. "Me neither," Suzaku said.
"So trust me," Lelouch tossed back. "I know what I'm doing."
If there's anyone in the world I trust, it's you, Lelouch. "I know," Suzaku said evenly. "I do trust you. I just don't want you to suffer because of me."
Lelouch shook his head, exasperated, but there was a small smile tugging at his lips nonetheless. "You worry too much. I'll be fine."
"Aren't they cute?" Milly squealed. "Look at them, sitting together and having a heart-to-heart!"
Suzaku jerked to his feet. "Sorry!" he said frantically, as if 'having a heart-to-heart' was suddenly a crime.
"You've nothing to apologize for," Lelouch said, narrowing his eyes at Suzaku's attitude.
Suzaku winced, remembering something. "I do, though. I have to go—got detention earlier, remember?"
Milly waved her hand flippantly. "Oh, don't worry about that. I'll take care of it for you."
Suzaku stared at her unsurely. "Uh…" Do I want to know?
With a questionable smile, Milly drew him into a friendly, one-armed hug. "Oh, Suzaku," she said pityingly. "You don't know yet what it means to be part of Milly Ashford's Student Council."
"And with luck, he never will," Lelouch snorted. "Your Council is just plain dangerous!"
"Don't worry, Lelouch," Milly said sweetly. "You'll always be my favorite."
Lelouch tried to sink into the couch. "That's what bothers me," he said dryly.
Everyone else laughed, even Suzaku, who didn't really understand what the big deal was. The cacophony of chortles seasoned the strange room with a kind of appealing charm, and Suzaku briefly wondered if those laugh-soaked walls would ever feel like home.
"So it's all settled," Milly proclaimed. "Suzaku's staying here, and we're going to name our newfound pet!"
"Suzaku?" Rivalz asked dumbly.
Milly frowned. "No, the cat!"
Lelouch caught Suzaku's eye and smirked, and Suzaku was suddenly under the impression that Ashford Academy wasn't quite so bad after all.
That was the first night Suzaku dreamt of Lelouch.
He was back in the bathroom stall, his pants around his ankles this time and his fingers around his stiff length. Every cell of his body was burning, but he could never get enough friction to bring about his release. He wasn't bothering to hold back, and Lelouch's name echoed off the walls. His hand sped up and he tensed, almost there—
—and the bathroom stall partitions melted around him, leaving him exposed in the school courtyard. The entire high school population was there, staring at him in horror as he groaned Lelouch's name and moved his hand. Without the stall to hold him up, he fell over onto the grass, his legs automatically parting so he had room to fist his cock. He wanted to stop—he didn't want to do something so private in front of everyone—but he was just so close…
The familiar jeers started, and Suzaku's head fell back, his eyes glazed with desire. A trickle of shame pooled in the back of his mind, but it wasn't enough to drown out his heated hunger for his prince. He couldn't focus on the onlookers' insults when his own body, mind, and soul centered solely on Lelouch. He thrust his hips upward, desperately chasing climax, and the hostile crowd of onlookers moved in closer, trapping him like enemy Knightmares cornering the weak.
All of a sudden, Lelouch himself burst through the crowd of students and stood over Suzaku, arms held out protectively. "Stop!" he yelled, and no one moved any closer. "This is my best friend!"
Suzaku panted, his face flushed as he stared up at his friend. "Le-Lelouch…" he moaned, fingers tightening around himself.
Lelouch turned to smile at him, kneeling next to him on the grass. "Don't worry, Suzaku," he murmured in that deep voice. Then, in front of everyone, he wrapped his own hand around the base of Suzaku's shaft. "Don't mind those hateful people. I'm not like them," he promised, experimenting with his ministrations upon his friend. "Suzaku, just come for me."
Suzaku's belly clenched, heat shooting straight to his groin. His eyes glazed over in the general direction of Lelouch's face, the shock at the other boy's words overshadowed by lust. Erection twitching in Lelouch's pale hand, Suzaku inhaled deeply. His body was tensing now, coiled and ready, his blood pounding a never-ending beat of desire. So close…
Just as he remembered—he couldn't do this, he couldn't feel this way—not about Lelouch…his vision went white—
—and his eyes opened to darkness. His bed sheets were wet beneath him with an unmistakable sticky mess—one that he had no memory of letting happen.
Even in his dream, he hadn't given himself permission himself to come.
The following morning, Suzaku spotted his stolen textbooks on the bell tower roof.
Lelouch forcefully held back from glaring, noticing people staring at their group out the corners of their eyes.
"Are you ready to watch the master at work?" Rivalz asked excitedly, slinging an arm around Suzaku's shoulder as he added to the chatter peppering the subway car. Because all three of them couldn't fit comfortably on the motorbike, they'd opted to take public transport instead. Rivalz and Lelouch had just finished refreshing Suzaku's memory on the rules of chess, going over how each piece moved, and Rivalz was almost frothing at the mouth for Suzaku to see the game played out in practice.
Lelouch felt something clench in his chest at their physical contact, and his words came out sharper than he'd intended. "Don't say things like that, Rivalz." A glare formed on his face, warning Rivalz off Suzaku. It seemed awry that out of all the strange people sitting around, Rivalz would be the one to set off Lelouch's alarm bells.
But Rivalz didn't take the hint. He tightened his hold around the Suzaku—just a friendly gesture—and pointed a finger at Lelouch. "Have you seen yourself play, man?"
Suzaku awkwardly squirmed, glancing longingly towards Lelouch. A bystander hid his face behind a newspaper.
Lelouch only narrowed his eyes.
"Because Suzaku hasn't," Rivalz continued babbling, "and he's got to see you in action. And besides, you've been so busy lately that you haven't had time for the fun stuff! You really scared me earlier, saying you were gonna give up gambling…"
Suzaku blinked at that last little tidbit.
Lelouch heaved a sigh. "I was trying to get Shirley off my back," he explained. There was no need to get into how his masked alter-ego was interfering with the daily life of 'Lelouch Lamperouge.' In fact, this was the first gambling expedition he'd been on since that fateful day he'd ended up running into Suzaku and C.C. in the Shinjuku Ghetto.
"This is our stop," Rivalz proclaimed cheerily, standing as the subway slowed to a halt with a loud hiss of opening mechanical doors.
Suzaku visibly relaxed once Rivalz wasn't touching him, and Lelouch felt lighter somehow for the same reason. Odd.
"Hurry, guys!" Rivalz enthusiastically called, jumping out onto the moderately-crowded platform. The Tokyo Settlement was always busy, but at least middle morning hours weren't too hectic. "Suzaku, you having fun yet?"
Suzaku only shrugged one shoulder, looking lost in the sea of people. "I don't know how you guys convinced me to skip school. If the Army ever finds out—"
Lelouch brushed past him, cutting in front of a high-class Britannian woman but slowing to let a random Eleven pass. "You worry too much," he chided, his voice a leading compass among the background conversations. "Just relax and enjoy yourself." He stopped and squeezed Suzaku's shoulder, raising an eyebrow when Suzaku actually leaned into his touch. "Nothing bad will happen," Lelouch continued offhandedly, confused by the twisting feeling in his stomach.
"Yeah, not like last time," Rivalz laughed, completely oblivious to the moment the other two were sharing.
"Last time?" Suzaku asked, suddenly moving away.
Lelouch felt the unpleasant bubbling sensation in his stomach intensify, but before he could say anything, Rivalz had already opened his mouth.
"We almost got run over by some huge gray truck!" Rivalz said, launching into story mode as he combed his fingers through blue hair. Both Lelouch and Suzaku stiffened; Rivalz kept right on speaking. "But it swerved and crashed, and Lelouch, being the good guy he is, went down to make sure everyone was a-okay, right?" He raised his arms in a 'what-are-you-gonna-do' gesture and walked even faster. "I know, I know, I should've gone, too…but hey, man, my bike was all messed up! Anyway, next time I looked up, the truck was gone—and so was Lelouch. I had to walk my bike back to school myself!"
Lelouch rubbed his forehead before facing Suzaku's inquiring gaze. He nodded once, confirming the secret truth and waited for the information to sink in. Walking quicker to keep up, he retreated into his thoughts. If it wasn't for my gambling, then I never would have reunited with Suzaku—or gotten my Geass power.
"Oh look, we're here," Rivalz proclaimed and ran inside Babylon Tower.
Suzaku shot one helpless look at Lelouch before following.
Lelouch went last, making sure Suzaku didn't bail on them. It had taken some convincing to get Suzaku to come along, and Lelouch wasn't sure himself why he wanted Suzaku to come so much. When asked to accompany them gambling, Suzaku had predictably said 'no.' Lelouch had then given Suzaku his own gym uniform, as promised, and Suzaku had put it on—or tried to put it on; the shirt was just a little too small for someone with so much muscle. Lelouch had circled Suzaku critically, tugging on the shirt to make it fit right, pausing each time Suzaku shivered at an accidental brush of fingers against skin. The shirt just wouldn't sit right on Suzaku's frame, and Lelouch had given him an ultimatum: either go gambling with him and Rivalz, or go to gym naked.
(He'd also mentioned something along the lines of not wanting Suzaku to be singled out even more in that class—and going naked would almost certainly garner more detentions. And he'd hidden the graffiti-stained uniform, knowing Suzaku would be self-sacrificing enough to wear it again, donning his battered nationality with stubborn, righteous pride.)
Yesterday, Lelouch had left Suzaku alone in the locker room to give him space and privacy, sensing that was what Suzaku had needed. He would've liked to have stuck around—waiting for Suzaku was a perfect excuse to miss some of gym—but he'd thought Suzaku might have needed time to compose himself. Lelouch had even attended gym class, something he was notorious for missing, just for Suzaku's sake. As soon as Suzaku had jogged onto that field covered in red, he'd felt his heart twist in rage. His school—his supposed liberal school—was hating on Suzaku for being Japanese. What hypocrites.
Later, after the cat hunt, Lelouch hadn't been too surprised when Synclair Worth showed up, running his mouth about Elevens. Lelouch bit back a growl at the memory, frustrated with Worth but also with himself. Just a half hour before the confrontation, he'd used his Geass on the two lackeys—Anthony Bristol and Cameron Remington—to make them forget seeing his Zero mask on the cat (along with quite a handful of other Ashford Academy students). Doing damage control had cost him the chance to make two thirds of the bullies' gang unable to hurt Suzaku in the future. Lelouch hadn't used his Geass on Synclair Worth when he'd ordered them all to back off, not that it would have worked anyway without eye contact since Worth was throwing his head back in mocking laughter and dancing around like an idiot, and regret burned in Lelouch's stomach. He took a deep breath. They were only polluting the air with insults. They weren't really hurting him, and I have to save my Geass for when it matters. But if they injure him worse than that little cut on his temple…
Lelouch wouldn't have Suzaku go through that prejudice all over again, so he'd pushed his idea of bringing Suzaku on a gambling expedition. Like before, Suzaku submitted to him, completely unlike his old self of seven years ago. It was natural for people to change—he'd changed himself—but didn't Suzaku know he didn't have to be submissive to Lelouch?
The elevator ride felt endless to Lelouch, weighed down by his plans and worries and doubts. There simply wasn't enough space in that small area to hold them all, and he felt suffocated by everything, almost like he was wearing Zero's mask. Suzaku looked to be of the same mind if his facial expression was any indication; only Rivalz leapt out the elevator in a joyful mood.
"I don't belong here," Suzaku mumbled, in the middle again. Lelouch fell into place beside him as they traversed the red-carpeted hallway to the private rooms. "Who rents these out anyway?" Suzaku asked, casting a suspicious gaze on the gold-encrusted numbers on the doorways. His soldier instincts were on display as Suzaku furtively checked his surroundings, his shoulders tense as he prepared to spring into action at a second's notice.
Lelouch kept his neutral gaze straight ahead. "Britannian nobles," he answered blandly. "They use these rooms for whatever they please. Sometimes they just want to gamble a nice game of chess, and sometimes they're looking for…pleasurable company."
Suzaku's eyes widened in disbelief. "You…you don't…"
"No, Suzaku," Lelouch cut in immediately, putting his friend's fears to rest. "I would never do something like that." What does he think of my character?
Suzaku nodded. "I didn't think you would," he said softly, with a touch of relief underlying his words. His gait grew slightly more natural.
Sensing how out-of-place Suzaku was still feeling, Lelouch moved a bit closer, bumping shoulders with his friend. Though they'd only been reunited for a few days, to Lelouch it felt like forever. Suzaku just fit seamlessly into his life, like he belonged right in the center of it, and Lelouch believed that they understood one another better than anybody. At least, he'd never experienced such a deep connection with anyone else—especially after, for all intents and purposes, such a short time spent in another's presence. His heart knew Suzaku, and interacting with Suzaku was easy and automatic in a way most unlike Lelouch's standard, planned, and cautious interpersonal strategies. "We're just here for chess," he reminded Suzaku. "I wouldn't let anyone…touch you…all right?" I'd kill whoever tried!
Suzaku nodded. "I can take care of myself," he said with a slightly cocky grin, and Lelouch found himself reassured by his best friend's returning confidence.
"Will you guys hurry up?!" Rivalz called back, waving them forward from an open door. "Sir Nobleman here wants his match!"
Lelouch only closed his eyes and continued walking at a slow pace, even as Suzaku automatically sped up. "I'll play when I'm good and ready," Lelouch said harshly. A ripple of anger coursed through his veins at the Britannian nobility's superior attitude, though more of his frustration was directed at Suzaku for succumbing to it.
When Lelouch finally stepped into the room, he was met with a new face. That was how it normally went. Every Britannian noble he'd played against in the past was too humiliated to square off with him again on the board; none of them wanted to be shot down twice by a mere high school student. Even though his skill was famous throughout the underground, there were always aristocrats who wanted to try a hand at beating him; it never happened, but some still tried anyway. At least they supplied a steady stream of opponents.
"What's he doing here?" asked the Britannian noble, his high-class silk clothes askew on his well-pampered body. The abundance of rings and gold chains adorning the man made Lelouch sick to look at, and one fat, gold-decorated finger was pointed straight at Suzaku.
Lelouch held back a glare, not wanting to start a fight this early into their meeting. After all, he had to get the game moving first. "This is Suzaku," he introduced his Japanese friend, "and he is my guest of honor today."
"Your guest is an Eleven?" the aristocrat gasped. "How inappropriate!"
Suzaku bowed deeply and started to edge nearer the door. "He's right," he mumbled. "I should go."
Lelouch's gaze swiveled to Suzaku. "Hold on," Lelouch barked, glad for once that Suzaku obeyed. Turning back to the nobleman, he almost growled, "Suzaku is my guest, meaning I invited him here. I am the only one who has the right to tell him to leave, and unluckily for you, I have no desire to do so. The way I see it, you have two options." He held up two fingers, careful to look down at the seated noble and meet his eyes to reflect a superior status. "One, you can insult me—your opponent—by asking Suzaku to leave. I'll go with him, and you're out a morning's fun and possible winnings. Or option two, the one I'd choose if I were you, you get past the fact that Suzaku's here—because there's really nothing you can do about it—and we can continue on with our game of chess."
The noble's jaw dropped. Then, pulling himself together, he suggested, "I'll consent to him staying if you throw him in as part of your offer." He rubbed his hands eagerly, the gold of his rings scraping against each other.
Face twisting with distaste, Lelouch chuckled darkly. "Agreed."
"Lelouch!" Suzaku and Rivalz exclaimed together in disbelief.
Lelouch only smirked, preening in his ability as a teen chess master. "What's wrong?" he asked his friends. "Aren't you confident in my abilities?" I'm sure I can handle this. Upping the stakes will just make my victory sweeter. And along those lines... "Since you changed some of the original terms," Lelouch said, trying to think beyond the swoop in his stomach at the idea of winning Suzaku—or rather, Suzaku's freedom. It would happen; on every level, in every context, every one of Lelouch's identities concurred on that point. Pausing for dramatic effect, Lelouch finally claimed to the nobleman, his attitude downright smarmy, "I will take double the formerly set payoff when I win."
Nodding, clearly humoring him, the noble stroked his chin greedily. "My, I can't wait. An Eleven for a personal slave? And he's got such beautiful skin, too…"
Not able to hold back his glare at that, Lelouch gracefully slid into his wooden chair as if it were a throne. "Remember," he said clearly, "you'll have to win to get at him. If I win, he remains his own man and I get my doubled pile of winnings." I can't afford to lose Suzaku, so there's only one option: Win. The extra money was just an added bonus.
"Agreed," the nobleman said without hesitation. He moved a white pawn two spaces forward.
Suzaku trembled by the door, but sheer honor kept him from bolting.
Lelouch glanced back at him, smiling encouragingly, before moving the black pawn in front of his king. That was what he hated about playing a game from the beginning: He couldn't start with his signature move. It wasn't like the king could jump over pawns—no, the only piece that could jump others was the knight.
The game moved quickly, with Lelouch effortlessly predicting his opponent's moves well in advance. Excitement swelled inside him whenever he looked back and caught a look of admiration in those watching green eyes. He barely noticed Rivalz against an equally nondescript wall.
Suzaku sweated, watching Lelouch move a black knight two spaces forward and one square left, and Rivalz hung back next to him and chattered happily about Lelouch's skill.
At the end, the Britannian noble fell out of his seat, staring at the white king crushed in Lelouch's fist. "How…how could…?" he stammered pitifully.
"You nobles never learn," Lelouch taunted, standing up to give himself even more superiority over the sprawled man on the floor. "Now about my winnings…" How pitiful. It wasn't even challenging!
Suzaku slumped in relief.
"No, no, I refuse!" the aristocrat shouted, scrambling to his feet. "How dare you make a mockery of me, schoolboy?!"
Lelouch only calmly stared at him. "Suzaku," he said, without breaking his gaze. "Didn't we decide on the rules before the game?"
Licking his lips, Suzaku answered, "Yes, Lelouch."
"And what were those rules?" Lelouch asked slowly.
Suzaku easily recited, "That if he won, he…got me…and if you won, I got to go free and you got your doubled winnings."
"Exactly," Lelouch said with a satisfied nod. "Sir Nobleman, don't you find it a little degrading that a teenage Eleven can remember the rules of a verbal contract and you cannot? My, what is Britannia coming to?" I can't believe I just used the word 'Eleven.' He shook off the disgust.
The noble's enraged scream got caught in his throat. "F-fine," he grumbled. "You'll get your money. I never want to see you again after this!"
Lelouch dipped his head in mock-respect. "That can be arranged." Turning slightly sideways, he gestured Rivalz and Suzaku out into the hallway. "I'll discuss some details with this delightful gentleman and then we can leave." Once they'd dutifully closed the door behind them, he turned back to the noble, left eye glowing red. "In addition to my monetary winnings, you will give me your top-notch trailer—and promptly forget you ever owned it. You will also forget anything at all about this day except your defeat at my hands. If any in your circle ask about your trailer, you will think they are crazy. As soon as you are able, you will erase all evidence that links you to that mobile shack, as well as any evidence that points to me. You will never contact me again."
Without turning off his Geass, he thought of any other orders he could give this man. A burning rage flowed through him when he thought of how this man wanted to touch Suzaku, and Lelouch tacked on, "From this day on, you will never adequately please anyone in bed."
Though it was a selfish order for his own amusement, he felt better for having given it. This man deserved misery for implying—for wanting to—
No, I don't want to think it.
As he turned his back, though, Lelouch couldn't help but agree with one thing the nobleman had said that day: Suzaku really did have beautiful skin.
That night, Suzaku had another dream.
He started off in the bathroom stall, like before. But this time, when the walls melted away, he was naked in the middle of a giant chessboard. The nobleman from earlier picked him up, and Suzaku shivered in the middle of his giant palm. He tried to cover his throbbing groin, but before he could move, he was snatched away—
—right into a colossal Lelouch's hand. "You can't have him," Lelouch boomed, his voice all the louder for being giant. "He is my honored guest!" He gently placed Suzaku back on the chessboard and followed, shrinking to match Suzaku's size. "I told you I wouldn't let anyone touch you," he said, purple eyes dark and promising.
Suzaku's cock twitched painfully. "But," he said boldly, "I want you to touch me!"
Lelouch looked taken aback—before he smiled and beckoned Suzaku closer. "Of course, Suzaku; that can be arranged. I just wanted you all to myself. Just forget about them watching us, and come to me…"
"Them?" Suzaku asked warily, shuffling a step closer on command.
Lelouch smirked and gestured to the surrounding chess pieces. Each one, regardless of color—black or white—and regardless of type—king to rook and everything in between—had acquired a jeering face. "Worthless!" they screeched, making the air around the board ring with hatred.
Now that Lelouch had pointed them out, it was impossible to tune them out. Suzaku started to move again, but he hit some kind of barrier.
"You have to go one step left or right," explained Lelouch. "You already moved two spaces forward. Knights can't go forward alone, Suzaku, and you have to play by the rules."
"But you're directly in front of me!" Suzaku protested, feeling the cold air wash over his nipples.
Lelouch smiled gently. "Don't worry, Suzaku. You don't have to move alone. I'll come to you when it's my turn to play."
Sighing in defeat, Suzaku ignored his nakedness and moved one space to the left.
At once, Lelouch moved a step forward. "Now," he directed, "move two spaces forward and one to the right. That'll land you right in front of me, and I can…tend to you." He licked his lips and waited for Suzaku to move, then lunged forward for a kiss the second Suzaku was in front of him.
He woke right before dream-contact, choking back a sob so he didn't wake Lloyd and Cecile nearby. Tan fingers gripped the pillow; his conscience wouldn't allow him to grip himself.
Suzaku would rather fight terrorists than listen to Shirley confess her true feelings for Lelouch. Yes, he'd suspected all along that Shirley had feelings for the enigmatic Lelouch, but he felt sick to his stomach as if he'd eaten Miss Cecile's cooking as Shirley got all flustered and confirmed her crush. The Student Council room felt more alien than during his initial visit. Forcibly squashing his nervousness and jealousy down—Suzaku could not afford to instinctively show negative feelings, lest one leak spill the rest of the darkness inside him—Suzaku lightly teased the girl and ended up digging his hole a little deeper. Even as he softly observed, with no trace of his true feelings, "You fell in love with him," a voice in his mind was whispering, It doesn't matter what Shirley feels. It only matters what Lelouch feels.
But what did Lelouch feel?
For that matter, what did Suzaku want him to feel? What did Suzaku himself truly feel? Suzaku, disciplined soldier that he was, was well aware by this point that he was attracted to his best friend, that he felt a stronger bond with Lelouch than with anyone else on the planet, that their close friendship laid a strong foundation should they decide to build romance on top of it, that he and Lelouch worked well together in everything else they did so why would dating be any different…
But Suzaku hadn't made up his mind about whether he'd actually pursue the charming undercover prince. He had intense feelings for the other boy, affection and friendship and lust twisting his insides into knots and unraveling in wet dreams; however, because he had those feelings didn't mean he should necessarily act on them. While he hadn't planned on it, now that Shirley was making her feelings clear, the stakes were up. If he did want to see whether or not Lelouch returned interest in him, he should probably poke his nose into the matter sooner rather than later.
The idea caused guilt to pool in Suzaku's stomach. His hands were stained with his father's blood, invisible to the naked eye but etched deeper, where it mattered. A charismatic prince deserved someone better than a tainted murderer. Lelouch deserved someone nice, sweet, and pure—someone like Shirley. On the flipside, someone as wholesome as Shirley conversely deserved Lelouch. Seconds later, desire and adoration for Lelouch drowned out the guilt, and Suzaku couldn't help but wonder…
What does Lelouch want? Suzaku's feelings were a moot point if the other teen didn't return them anyway. Then there would be no decision to make, so there would be no need to worry like this. He had to dig for hints, which might essentially prove difficult because Lelouch was so closed-off. But then, if there was anyone besides Nunnally that Lelouch let his guard down around… I have everyone beat there, Suzaku inwardly crowed. The remembrance gave him hope. He could do this. He would discover Lelouch's romantic preferences if it killed him. (He would do almost anything if it promised to kill him—)
Suzaku didn't feel comfortable asking his best friend about himself. Way too awkward. Shirley, though… Or Kallen, whom Shirley was jealous of over Lelouch for some reason. The information raised Suzaku's hackles. Now he had two girls he had to worry about losing Lelouch to, not to mention the ice prince's hordes of fangirls all over the school.
"Which is why in this case, it's best to ask him directly," Suzaku cheerfully proclaimed, inwardly screaming, Tell me you don't like them, Lelouch. Let me know if I have a chance! He felt ashamed as he wrestled with his doubt, like he was using Shirley to get to Lelouch, but he rationalized that it was simple data gathering. No matter how it turned out, even if Lelouch did prefer one of those girls, at least he'd know and then he could deal with it.
As he listened to the continuous ring on the other end of the line, he pondered and wished, Lelouch, tell me you at least like guys. I need to know if my dreams can ever come true. More and more, Suzaku started leaning towards acting on his feelings on the off-chance that Lelouch lov—liked him back. His hopes grew and overshadowed the internal doubt and shame, influencing his conditional decision. "On your behalf, I can ask him how he feels about you," Suzaku offered to Shirley, who immediately freaked out and started fighting him for the phone.
"Are you nuts?!" Shirley raved. "No way, I don't need your help!"
"Just relax, it'll be fine!" Suzaku consoled her, the words just as much for his own benefit. "Aw, c'mon, let me handle this for you," he pleaded. For both of us. "I'll be discreet. It should be fine!" In their struggle for the phone, they fell to the ground and blushed as they landed in a compromising position. Funny, Suzaku noticed, we'd both rather be lying on the floor like this with Lelouch. His mind flashed with an image of a pale, black-haired Britannian boy underneath him, staring up at him with lidded purple eyes and an inviting tilt of his chin. No! he roared at himself. I can't let myself think like this. I can't actively fantasize about him at school, especially when I'm on top of a girl who's crushing on him, too. Having competition for Lelouch's attention made him feel hollow inside, which was odd because he'd thought he was completely empty anyway after what had happened with his father.
As Arthur bit his hand, Suzaku scrambled off Shirley. Craving Lelouch so desperately tempted him to abandon his white knight morals, and he wondered about the right thing to do.
"So, did I do it correctly?" Suzaku asked, his voice pulling Lelouch from his thoughts.
Lelouch had been having trouble all morning focusing on Nunnally's voice as she taught them how to fold paper cranes on the veranda. He had too much else on his mind, such as mulling over his humbled defeat in the Saitama Ghetto. If C.C. hadn't covered for him, he'd be dead—or worse, exposed—by now. Still, at his friend's question, his lips tilted upwards in a smile. Being around Suzaku always makes me feel better. I swear I will never let anything separate us again! Not only for our sakes, but for Nunnally's as well. As soon as his role as Zero ended, he could give them one-hundred percent of his attention—but for now, while the world was still rotten, he had a job to do.
"Let me feel," Nunnally said, her questing fingers fluttering lightly over Suzaku's first attempt at a paper crane. "Yep!" she giggled and sipped some tea. "Couldn't have done it better myself!" She turned her head in her brother's direction, asking, "What about you?"
Lelouch looked down at the wide spread of untouched tissue paper before him. "Uh," he said, adopting a sheepish tone, "Not so good." He met Suzaku's questioning eyes, then hurriedly looked away. He wasn't in the mood to be interrogated.
"Do you need some help?" Suzaku asked, laughing a bit. Without waiting for an answer, he reached over to pick up the sheet of tissue paper—just as Lelouch did the same thing. Their fingers brushed against each other and Suzaku froze, a light blush spreading over his cheeks.
Squinting his eyes quizzically, Lelouch retracted his hand. "Go on then," he ordered softly. "Show me how."
Nunnally giggled. "Don't you ever pay attention, brother?"
Lelouch forced himself to chuckle, keeping his gaze trained on his friend. I always pay attention to Suzaku. It was ingrained in him. Suzaku was fumbling with the tissue paper, his fingers clumsy and unsure as he folded and refolded the would-be crane. Shaking his head, Lelouch smiled amusedly at his friend before asking, "Are you sure you made that last one all by yourself?"
Suzaku stopped what he was doing, and his cheeks colored even darker. "Y-yeah," he stammered, finally finishing something that might resemble a crane—if a blind person had done it. Except that Nunnally's cranes came out looking picture-perfect, and she'd been blind for most of her short life.
"Don't tease Suzaku," Nunnally scolded her brother. She was busy folding her own crane again, a knowing smile on her face—almost as if she knew the two boys were staring at each other again. "Do you know, Suzaku, about the legend of the thousand cranes?"
Suzaku jumped in his seat, green eyes wide and warm. "Yes, it's an old Japanese tale," he said reverently. "When you fold a thousand cranes, your innermost wish will come true." He glanced at Lelouch quickly before turning his stare to the grass.
Lelouch blinked, tilting his head. His heart started pounding at the look on Suzaku's face. Why is my heart thumping so fast? Before he could analyze the situation, Nunnally opened her mouth.
"Lelouch says he doesn't wish for anything, and I want a gentler world. Suzaku, what do you want most?"
Suzaku's breathing grew shallow. "What do I want most?" he repeated, blushing and glancing at Lelouch again. Twiddling his thumbs, he shifted in his seat and finally said in a strangled voice, "You and I want the same thing, Nunnally."
Lelouch's blood started to race even more at that second look, and he crossed his legs under the table. The way he's been staring at me… I just don't get him sometimes. Why did he look at me like that? What does he want from me? Lelouch shook his head, purple eyes widening a bit as an impossible idea struck him. Does he suspect me? Does he know I'm trying to create their perfect world as Zero?
Without thinking, Lelouch idly snatched Suzaku's crooked crane and reworked the kinks. Long, slender fingers smoothed out the uneven creases and folded the tissue paper into its ideal, picture-perfect form. That's right, Lelouch mused as he looked over their shared handiwork. When Suzaku and I join forces, the results are nothing short of miraculous. Like with this crane, we could remold the world into perfection. Together.
Suzaku beamed at him from across the table and trailed a fingertip across the newly-improved origami bird. "Wow, Lelouch. I guess you were paying attention after all!"
Nunnally giggled in the background.
A self-satisfied smirk stole onto Lelouch's face. "You've started on your wish," he remarked casually to Suzaku, continuing their conversation. "Only 999 more to go."
Suzaku's face fell. His shoulders sagged, and he sighed. "That's going to take me a while. And even then, there's zero chance of my wish actually coming true."
Lelouch froze, remembering again where Suzaku stood on the whole Zero matter. Scrambling for words, he attempted to sound normal as he countered, "Nothing is impossible if you try." He gathered his control. He would not force Suzaku to join him, and there was no way he was going to scoff at the superstitions of the ancient Japanese legend—not in front of Nunnally. Just like the pinky promise, the paper cranes symbolized the hopes and dreams and trust in the future—the future he would personally make.
Nunnally nuzzled her latest crane creation. "That's right, Suzaku. Little by little, the world is changing. We just need to pray it goes in the right direction. Then our wish will come true."
"It will?" Suzaku asked, green eyes sweeping over Lelouch. Then, he shook himself, letting his eyelids fall shut. "Right. The gentler world. The wish. Got it." He slumped forward over the table, crushing one of Nunnally's cranes in the process and almost spilling a teacup.
Raising an eyebrow, Lelouch looked Suzaku over. There's something he's not saying. He lied about his wish. What is so important to him that he can't even mention it in front of us? Is his secret like mine? Reaching for more tissue paper, he started folding it in different directions. He wasn't trying to make a crane; he just wanted to keep his fingers busy while he thought. Glancing at Suzaku half-draped over the tabletop, Lelouch announced, "You know, I do have a wish."
Suzaku lifted his head, green eyes shining with intense curiosity. Nunnally's fingers paused, and her blind face turned towards her brother.
"It's a secret," Lelouch said, chuckling. His gaze met green eyes, burning with intensity. No, he would not force Suzaku to join him via Geass. But he could hope with all his might. I wish Suzaku would stand by my side. Forever.
The dream came to Suzaku that night, as usual.
He was outside, seated on the Lamperouges' veranda. Nunnally and Lelouch were there, the handicapped girl continuously folding tissue paper into delicate little cranes. Lelouch was gazing at him with lust—backed by something deeper—and Suzaku was sure his eyes reflected the same.
Lelouch linked hands with him under the table, and Suzaku felt a smile slipping onto his face at the action. Nunnally, literally blind, was unable to see their closeness, to see how Lelouch was guiding Suzaku's fingers to the prominent bulge in his pants.
Suzaku exhaled noisily, clenching his fingers tight around the other boy's clothed erection.
Lelouch—sensitive Lelouch—couldn't hold back a moan.
Nunnally looked up worriedly and asked, "Brother, are you all right?"
Lelouch only nodded, unable to formulate words. Suzaku moved to pull his hand away, but Lelouch only grabbed onto Suzaku's wrist and pressed it harder against himself. "Ngh," he groaned, his head whipping from side to side in the most erotic dance Suzaku had ever seen.
On impulse, Suzaku climbed into Lelouch's lap and began to grind their groins together. They both hissed at the pleasure, rocking against each other in an even greater frenzy. The silence around them was unnerving, and Suzaku felt constricted in his clothes. Lelouch must have shared his sentiment because he started undressing him and flinging his clothing everywhere—including onto Nunnally.
"Brother?" squeaked Nunnally, a vague hint of suspicion in her tone. Suzaku's Ashford uniform hung off her head.
Suzaku only shook his head, not wanting to deal with his surrogate little sister's interruptions—not when he had Lelouch willing and ready under his hands. He thrust again—thanking every deity he knew that Nunnally was blind—as he rubbed himself all over her big brother.
Lelouch was fumbling at his pants button when the flock of paper cranes surrounded them. There must have been a thousand in all, and each one sported tender lavender eyes—Nunnally's eyes, Suzaku realized with a start. She was watching them with intense disapproval, and the paper cranes looked ready to swoop in and peck him off Lelouch.
Suzaku paused, almost sobbing at the abrupt lack of movement. "Please," he begged, though he wasn't sure if he was asking Nunnally to accept them or if he was asking Lelouch to finish him off.
All at once the cranes moved, flying in to bear him away from Lelouch. He stretched, reaching for his best friend, but the cranes forced him up into the air, away from his precious Lelouch. He screamed for Lelouch, but Nunnally's wish—come true by the full thousand cranes—carried him away.
He twisted in their paper-wing grip, but not even a soldier as skilled as he could escape the murderous will of an overprotective little sister. His arousal weakened by fear and loss, he cried out—
—and woke with tears streaming down his cheeks.